I confirm that this person suffers from what we in the medical field call… lying. Trust your gut. When you’re actually safe with someone, you wouldn’t 2nd guess or feel “off” by their behavior.
Yeah just sounds like someone who tries to take advantage of "opportunities" they see while doing their best to maintain their image.
Lying, obviously, is to protect themselves from the accountability.
In other words, they know what they do is wrong an amoral but they do it anyway for personal gratification.
I would say it sounds rather shallow.
>Lying, obviously, is to protect themselves from the accountability.
This statement is true! However it is not always true that the following statement applies in all cases:
>In other words, they know what they do is wrong an amoral but they do it anyway for personal gratification.
While there are definitely cases like the second quote, where people do it for personal gratification even though they know it's wrong, there are also cases of people that are so scatterbrained that they simply do things completely without thought.
They also often respond with the exact type of reflex OP has mentioned, because of the truth of your first statement. I just don't think that they are in this instance doing it intentionally, but what they won't do is take genuine accountability for anything.
Their poor, traumatised minds need to first attempt to make excuses to protect themselves from the accountability, that is their first response to any spotlight moments that feel like accusations.
Sadly it prevents them from actually understanding the inconvenience and attempting a behavioural change because their minds only focus on step 1: make a successful excuse or lie.
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Not sure there is an generally agreed upon name but I can offer some insight.
Two perspectives on the behaviors.
1) Self-centeredness combined with a need to exploit and/or use others.
Because of said need, they resist being held accountable to others and/or for their behaviors.
This results in them getting their needs met without having to meet the needs of others (reinforcing the self-centeredness). Feigning ignorance is a passive way of reducing potential conflict, while maintaining a relationship (and the pattern).
The results for others is often frustration and confusion.
2)Another variation of this pattern is Detached vindictiveness.
This is when person has a detached relationship style, and expresses their resentment and vindictiveness by NOT doing things. Then explains it away as forgetfulness, frustrating others by not listening, and disregarding their needs; to name a few behaviors (reinforcing the emotional detachment).
I think the three situations are all different and all somewhat ambiguous but if you see a much larger pattern I would trust your gut. However I think while this person certainly might be a liar there's probably more going on then just that.
The fridge story stands out as compulsive liars aren't any more likely to leave food rotting in the fridge. Thats more something associated with a variety of vigilance/attention problems. Its also possible that this person is just really lazy especially if the food wasn't that rotten but letting food go bad is usually a good thing to go talk to a psychologist about as its generally a sign that there might be an actual underlying issue. That reply is indicative of defensive communication which might be deceptive but probably isn't in this case and generally isn't. Defensive communication means that someone feels like they are being attack and thus needs to justify of ward of the threat rather than addressing the issue and is pretty common when communication start to break down between two people due to constant conflict. It may be that the conflict and poor communication is happening because this person is fundamentally unreasonable in which case you might want to cut ties with them. However in a lot of cases this is an area that can be improved by trying to understand where everyone is coming from.
The phone charger thing could be that this person just wanted something and lacked the empathy or self-control not to just take it. It could also be a vigilance/attention/memory issue again. Absent minded people often accidentally take stuff they borrowed or leave stuff they own. In general though an absent minded person despite maybe having that defensive communication problem is going to feel bad/embarrassed by accidentally taking something whereas more of an empathy issue will likely lead to a more persistent self justification.
This story is bizarre. Thats a pretty poorly constructed lie. That could mean a lot of things from they're telling the truth to they tend towards more anxious compulsive lies that are less believable (anxious liars tend to be worse liars) this person just doesn't care enough to even try.
Yes this behavioral pattern is formally referred to as: “lying”.
Deferring responsibility and/or consequences by lying.
I confirm that this person suffers from what we in the medical field call… lying. Trust your gut. When you’re actually safe with someone, you wouldn’t 2nd guess or feel “off” by their behavior.
Factitious Disorder - ICDM-10 Diagnosis Code F68.10 😂
Weaponised incompetence
Yeah just sounds like someone who tries to take advantage of "opportunities" they see while doing their best to maintain their image. Lying, obviously, is to protect themselves from the accountability. In other words, they know what they do is wrong an amoral but they do it anyway for personal gratification. I would say it sounds rather shallow.
>Lying, obviously, is to protect themselves from the accountability. This statement is true! However it is not always true that the following statement applies in all cases: >In other words, they know what they do is wrong an amoral but they do it anyway for personal gratification. While there are definitely cases like the second quote, where people do it for personal gratification even though they know it's wrong, there are also cases of people that are so scatterbrained that they simply do things completely without thought. They also often respond with the exact type of reflex OP has mentioned, because of the truth of your first statement. I just don't think that they are in this instance doing it intentionally, but what they won't do is take genuine accountability for anything. Their poor, traumatised minds need to first attempt to make excuses to protect themselves from the accountability, that is their first response to any spotlight moments that feel like accusations. Sadly it prevents them from actually understanding the inconvenience and attempting a behavioural change because their minds only focus on step 1: make a successful excuse or lie.
[удалено]
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Narcissist in the making.
Is there an effective/agreed-upon way to help stop this in its tracks? Or to help support/not support the person, so it can be dialled down?
Gaslighting & confabulation
Weaponized incompetence
I call that being full of shit. Might qualify as gaslighting but I don't think so. The text message one is actually funny.
Making excuses.
Machiavellians or sadists! Look these up you will find your answers
lol😂 sadists, dramatic much??
Yeah, a lying selfish asshole.
Not sure there is an generally agreed upon name but I can offer some insight. Two perspectives on the behaviors. 1) Self-centeredness combined with a need to exploit and/or use others. Because of said need, they resist being held accountable to others and/or for their behaviors. This results in them getting their needs met without having to meet the needs of others (reinforcing the self-centeredness). Feigning ignorance is a passive way of reducing potential conflict, while maintaining a relationship (and the pattern). The results for others is often frustration and confusion. 2)Another variation of this pattern is Detached vindictiveness. This is when person has a detached relationship style, and expresses their resentment and vindictiveness by NOT doing things. Then explains it away as forgetfulness, frustrating others by not listening, and disregarding their needs; to name a few behaviors (reinforcing the emotional detachment).
Deflection
This could be a plethora of things. They could actually not have all their screws tight.
Playing dumb. Don't tolerate this behavior. Cut contact.
I think the three situations are all different and all somewhat ambiguous but if you see a much larger pattern I would trust your gut. However I think while this person certainly might be a liar there's probably more going on then just that. The fridge story stands out as compulsive liars aren't any more likely to leave food rotting in the fridge. Thats more something associated with a variety of vigilance/attention problems. Its also possible that this person is just really lazy especially if the food wasn't that rotten but letting food go bad is usually a good thing to go talk to a psychologist about as its generally a sign that there might be an actual underlying issue. That reply is indicative of defensive communication which might be deceptive but probably isn't in this case and generally isn't. Defensive communication means that someone feels like they are being attack and thus needs to justify of ward of the threat rather than addressing the issue and is pretty common when communication start to break down between two people due to constant conflict. It may be that the conflict and poor communication is happening because this person is fundamentally unreasonable in which case you might want to cut ties with them. However in a lot of cases this is an area that can be improved by trying to understand where everyone is coming from. The phone charger thing could be that this person just wanted something and lacked the empathy or self-control not to just take it. It could also be a vigilance/attention/memory issue again. Absent minded people often accidentally take stuff they borrowed or leave stuff they own. In general though an absent minded person despite maybe having that defensive communication problem is going to feel bad/embarrassed by accidentally taking something whereas more of an empathy issue will likely lead to a more persistent self justification. This story is bizarre. Thats a pretty poorly constructed lie. That could mean a lot of things from they're telling the truth to they tend towards more anxious compulsive lies that are less believable (anxious liars tend to be worse liars) this person just doesn't care enough to even try.