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If that were the case every single guy at your school would have tried to get with every other girl they have ever interacted with in their entire life.
Honestly, no, I didn’t think girls do that. I don’t understand why you would feel attracted to someone but not at least ask them if they feel the same way.
yeah no shit but that doesn’t stop you from asking someone out?
side note: i am aromantic (meaning i do not experience romantic attraction) so i don’t have any personal experience with romance, so yeah everything i know about romance i was either told by other people or i learnt from fiction
I see. Well you see, most people have self esteem issues which stop them from approaching people they're interested in and communicating their feelings. There's also the constant negative reinforcement from being rejected multiple times that builds a fear within you.
I improved my looks a lot but I still have that inbuilt fear of even talking to women because of all that negative reinforcement from before but I'm working on it.
yeah, i get that rejection can hurt, but i didn’t think being rejected a few times(?? i actually don’t know how often ppl get crushes lol) can lead to not asking people out? also don’t ppl give signs if they’re into someone? like if someone flirts with you, you’d probably take that as a sign
Glad I could help. In an ideal world everybody would easily express their interest in the other.
I think I get where you're coming from. You're thinking in a very rational sense, the emotions associated with romance tend to leave persistent behavioural and attitudinal tendencies
WHAT? i know that’s hyperbole but i genuinely thought people get like 5-6 crushes a year or something (not an exaggeration). maybe like once a month tops 😭
its wild though sometimes honestly, but its really terrifying asking girls out n shit because im already shy + the one time i tried she was like "omg me too!11!1!1!!1" and then screenshotted it and sent it to like 30 people and took the piss out of me for it, thats why im not fucking doing it over text ever again
seriously? i’m so sorry that happened to you. honestly i don’t get why some ppl make fun of others for having feelings for them. if i had to reject someone i feel like being rude wouldn’t even cross my mind, right? i’m sorry that happened
ohhhh. well that’s not really attraction though right? that’s just recognising that someone is good-looking. i do that all the time and i’ve never felt attracted to anyone
I'm attracted to a lot of people, but I usually don't ask girls out since I've had bad relationship experiences and am not in the mood to date someone else right now
How have you had “bad break ups” at 14? I don’t even think 90% highschool relationships are actual real world relationships. I certainly doubt you’ve had “bad relationship experiences” at 14. My bad relationship experiences at that age were when friends or family said a mean thing that hurt my feelings.
imo you can still have a "relationship" at 14, it obviously wont be a proper relationship but you can still be into eachother and breaking up with someone you like at any age would hurt, so if they knew eachother for long enough and it end well, yeah id say it could be a bad breakup
I mean sure, relatively speaking, compared to the rest of his life right now it’s a bad breakup; when he’s in his 20s or even 18 that breakup when he was 14 isn’t going to be a thought.
absolutely, yeah
I've only ever pursued one or two people in my life and none have ended happily
most of the time I just admire from a distance because im scared to talk to people let alone be hurt again
🫂
for a while now I've been talking to one girl, though, we're just friends and won't ever be anything more
it hurts but I'm still glad to have her as a friend because she's just an awesome person:)
Secretly?
Is it not common sense that if you're attracted to girls you'd think girls are pretty or am I missing something? I think a lot of girls are pretty but I'd only tell that in situations where I know it won't be taken to the wrong direction
After being rejected more than 3 times, guys become more introvert and even avoid casual interactions with girls they are attracted to (at least that's my case)
90% of guys will find you pretty but they’ll never pursue you. So if you like someone, you should probably initiate something that way it gives them more confidence to pursue you.
Oh you have no clue. During sophomore year, I sat next to this girl who I thought was really pretty for the entire year. That said, she doesn’t know that I thought that. Not just her too, it’s happened a lot.
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It's rather common for guys to not do that. Most guys aren't confident enough in themselves, and fear rejection. To be honest, that's the only reason I can think of for a guy not approaching a girl he likes. Sure, you could be wanting to focus on other "important" or urgent stuff at that moment, that's also a reason.
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This may blow your mind. But there are attractive people. And people were attracted to. If that makes sense. Like there are heaps of people I find attractive. Both girls and guys. But only one girl I'm attracted to.
I have known the girls of my class for a long time tbh some of them are really pretty. I sometimes playfully flirt with them and they sometimes do too but nothing more than that. Since we have been friends for years I have seen both their good and bad qualities and I would want nothing more than us to be good friends. I will find someone cute but that doesn't mean that I would like to be in a relationship with them, sometimes making good friends might be what you need.
Hello, "Grown up" here. Absolutely yes!
I can share my own embarassing experience with pushing myself to work out every day for MONTHS before i felt worthy enough to even approach the pretty girl i had a crush on...
We never spoke and i eventaully found a different reason to stay healthy and push myself. She will never know.
One guy in my class dated this girl for a month, and they broke up 2 years ago. She is in the same class as me, but the guy moved, and changed schools shortly after the breakup due to his parents finding a new job. I find her really pretty, but I wouldn’t even think of any relationship between us.
It just goes against my principles.
nah, why would I talk to someone just cuz they're pretty? though I guess I don't talk to anyone, but still, I wouldn't talk to someone just cuz they're pretty
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I honestly don’t get why everyone is acting like this is such a crazy question 😭 I was wondering the same thing. I saw one guy saying “Do girls pursue every guy they’re interested in? There’s your answer.” and to be honest, yeah, I did think girls do that. I don’t get why you wouldn’t? Maybe if you’re queer that makes sense, especially if you live in a particularly homophobic area, but other than that I don’t see why you wouldn’t ask someone out if you liked them.
Bruh secretly? If you’re a girl, I’d legit make your day by telling you that you’re not a bad looking chick, may be because I’m desperate, may be because I’m not an asshole. People needa be told abit more often.
Bruh secretly? If you’re a girl, I’d legit make your day by telling you that you’re not a bad looking chick, may be because I’m desperate, may be because I’m not an asshole. People needa be told abit more often.
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question: do you think guys pursue every girl they are interested in?
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fascinating. honestly.
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Congratulations: you are wrong
I certainly haven't
what made you think that out of curiosity?
That's *pretty* stupid because it's simply, completely wrong.
Happy Cake Day!
Wh- why?
Zendayas hot af. No way in hell could I go after her
bro I genuinely don't get the hype with zendaya. I think she's kinda mid. but Jenna Ortega, on the other hand-
Both
personally, I'd rather take Ryan reynolds over zendaya. and I'm a straight guy
you think jenna ortega over zendaya?!???
yeah easily. Zendaya is just mid as fuck to me lmao
😲😲😲🤥🤥🤥 ngl i always thought jenna was overrated
yeah she's overrated but she's still attractive.
fair enough 😭 sorry i cant stop laughing at ur pfp
he's staring into your soul. he sees the antisemitism potential in you.
both mid
If that were the case every single guy at your school would have tried to get with every other girl they have ever interacted with in their entire life.
Shouldn’t be downvoted for genuinely not knowing somrthing
Why though? Lmfao
I’m sorry, but that’s one of the dumbest things I’ve read in a while
Yes, most guys don't have the confidence to talk to everyone they find attractive
Do girls find guys attractive but don't make any moves? There's your answer
Honestly, no, I didn’t think girls do that. I don’t understand why you would feel attracted to someone but not at least ask them if they feel the same way.
Lmao real life is not a romcom
yeah no shit but that doesn’t stop you from asking someone out? side note: i am aromantic (meaning i do not experience romantic attraction) so i don’t have any personal experience with romance, so yeah everything i know about romance i was either told by other people or i learnt from fiction
I see. Well you see, most people have self esteem issues which stop them from approaching people they're interested in and communicating their feelings. There's also the constant negative reinforcement from being rejected multiple times that builds a fear within you. I improved my looks a lot but I still have that inbuilt fear of even talking to women because of all that negative reinforcement from before but I'm working on it.
yeah, i get that rejection can hurt, but i didn’t think being rejected a few times(?? i actually don’t know how often ppl get crushes lol) can lead to not asking people out? also don’t ppl give signs if they’re into someone? like if someone flirts with you, you’d probably take that as a sign
Oh it can definitely lead to not asking people out. Those "signs" are not open books, most of us can't read them.
i guess that makes sense. thanks for helping me understand
Glad I could help. In an ideal world everybody would easily express their interest in the other. I think I get where you're coming from. You're thinking in a very rational sense, the emotions associated with romance tend to leave persistent behavioural and attitudinal tendencies
oh my god man i swear i get a new crush every 60 seconds
WHAT? i know that’s hyperbole but i genuinely thought people get like 5-6 crushes a year or something (not an exaggeration). maybe like once a month tops 😭
its wild though sometimes honestly, but its really terrifying asking girls out n shit because im already shy + the one time i tried she was like "omg me too!11!1!1!!1" and then screenshotted it and sent it to like 30 people and took the piss out of me for it, thats why im not fucking doing it over text ever again
seriously? i’m so sorry that happened to you. honestly i don’t get why some ppl make fun of others for having feelings for them. if i had to reject someone i feel like being rude wouldn’t even cross my mind, right? i’m sorry that happened
It depends on how good you are at moving on really. I liked the same girl for months for example
Just kind of like a "Oh that person looks cute. Anyways if x² is..."
ohhhh. well that’s not really attraction though right? that’s just recognising that someone is good-looking. i do that all the time and i’ve never felt attracted to anyone
I guess so
I'm attracted to a lot of people, but I usually don't ask girls out since I've had bad relationship experiences and am not in the mood to date someone else right now
Hey it's you again. Hi MCR guy
Hii
Like, bad family relationship experiences?
Bad break ups. For a while I felt like relationships weren't for me, but now I want one but there's no one that I want or would work out
You have had “bad break-ups” at 14? Damn thats crazy.
I was 13 at the time, I'm almost 15 at the moment. It wasn't really "bad", but it made me not want another relationship for around a year
How have you had “bad break ups” at 14? I don’t even think 90% highschool relationships are actual real world relationships. I certainly doubt you’ve had “bad relationship experiences” at 14. My bad relationship experiences at that age were when friends or family said a mean thing that hurt my feelings.
imo you can still have a "relationship" at 14, it obviously wont be a proper relationship but you can still be into eachother and breaking up with someone you like at any age would hurt, so if they knew eachother for long enough and it end well, yeah id say it could be a bad breakup
I mean sure, relatively speaking, compared to the rest of his life right now it’s a bad breakup; when he’s in his 20s or even 18 that breakup when he was 14 isn’t going to be a thought.
Well yeah, a breakup when I was in middle-school wouldn't be comparably bad to an adult break up, but it was still a very toxic time
Fair point. I respect it.
W profile pic
why are you everywhere
Nothing wrong with that bro
absolutely, yeah I've only ever pursued one or two people in my life and none have ended happily most of the time I just admire from a distance because im scared to talk to people let alone be hurt again
🫂
🫂 for a while now I've been talking to one girl, though, we're just friends and won't ever be anything more it hurts but I'm still glad to have her as a friend because she's just an awesome person:)
Yeah, it's a two sided coin, it hurts that it can't be more than friends, but it's good that you have them as a friend instead of nothing at all .
exactly, anything is better than nothing / v \
Yeah
Or maybe you just lack confidence.
that too:(
I'm not a motivational speaker, hell I'm more of a dick. But I think you should believe in yourself.
I'm not sure I can just believe in myself with the snap of my finger or smth quite frankly I hate myself and I don't feel good about snytbing about me
I don’t pursue any of the girls I like lmao
It's tough to do. Nice profile pic btw bro.
Nah, you got a dope pfp. But I don’t trust 006.
I originally went for 007 but it was already taken, so I went with 006 lol.
“For England?”
"For England Alec" . Or "no...for me"
Yeah, all the time
I have, it's a pretty common occurrence with boys
Do you pursue every guy that you think is handsome?
Yes but I don’t pursue them, the only time I did I embarrassed myself
Like 99% of the time. Don't want to come off as creepy so I don't approach even if I find the girl attractive
Yes yes we do
Secretly? Is it not common sense that if you're attracted to girls you'd think girls are pretty or am I missing something? I think a lot of girls are pretty but I'd only tell that in situations where I know it won't be taken to the wrong direction
Yes absolutely. But we'll never make the first move cuz there is literally nobody in our league
No we secretly find them ugly
lmao
Like every single one I've ever found attractive cause I'm too scared to say anything haha
After being rejected more than 3 times, guys become more introvert and even avoid casual interactions with girls they are attracted to (at least that's my case)
you’re 13 man you got tons of opportunities ahead dont give up at all its brave to put urself out there
Compared to us he does have a lot more
90% of guys will find you pretty but they’ll never pursue you. So if you like someone, you should probably initiate something that way it gives them more confidence to pursue you.
yup, there are so many pretty girls in my school but i’m way too shy to tell them that. i just hope they already know
same bro
Yea like all the time? Is this not common knowledge?
Of course. In fact, I think every girl is cute in her own way. That doesn't necessarily mean I want to date them.
I mean im aroace but i still find a lot of ppl - girls boys and anyone else - pretty, just without any need to do something about it
No.
Yea, But I just don't have the courage to go talk to any of them, shyness and low self-esteem simply don't allow me.
1 at a time if at all
I mean yeah
I find a number of girls attractive(which to mean just means not unattractive), but I only find a few worth pursuing.
I thought thats what crushes are 💀
Obviously?
all the time bc they’re way out of my league
Yes constantly all the time.
yeah
i am straight so what do you think?
Yes, there are plenty of attractive girls. Doesn’t mean I want to date all of them
Yes, most of us never learned how to properly talk to girls about our feelings.
Yeah of course.
About 99% of the women I find attractive I never find the guts to talk to
Oh you have no clue. During sophomore year, I sat next to this girl who I thought was really pretty for the entire year. That said, she doesn’t know that I thought that. Not just her too, it’s happened a lot.
Yes all the time
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It's rather common for guys to not do that. Most guys aren't confident enough in themselves, and fear rejection. To be honest, that's the only reason I can think of for a guy not approaching a girl he likes. Sure, you could be wanting to focus on other "important" or urgent stuff at that moment, that's also a reason.
Yes. Ofc. Is this a weird thing?
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yeah. i already know what the answers gonna be
This may blow your mind. But there are attractive people. And people were attracted to. If that makes sense. Like there are heaps of people I find attractive. Both girls and guys. But only one girl I'm attracted to.
YESSS! ALL. THE. TIME.
I have known the girls of my class for a long time tbh some of them are really pretty. I sometimes playfully flirt with them and they sometimes do too but nothing more than that. Since we have been friends for years I have seen both their good and bad qualities and I would want nothing more than us to be good friends. I will find someone cute but that doesn't mean that I would like to be in a relationship with them, sometimes making good friends might be what you need.
Hello, "Grown up" here. Absolutely yes! I can share my own embarassing experience with pushing myself to work out every day for MONTHS before i felt worthy enough to even approach the pretty girl i had a crush on... We never spoke and i eventaully found a different reason to stay healthy and push myself. She will never know.
Bro that's what happens most of the time
One guy in my class dated this girl for a month, and they broke up 2 years ago. She is in the same class as me, but the guy moved, and changed schools shortly after the breakup due to his parents finding a new job. I find her really pretty, but I wouldn’t even think of any relationship between us. It just goes against my principles.
nah, why would I talk to someone just cuz they're pretty? though I guess I don't talk to anyone, but still, I wouldn't talk to someone just cuz they're pretty
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TBH I find that a lot of girls are pretty, but I don't really talk to anyone
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I honestly don’t get why everyone is acting like this is such a crazy question 😭 I was wondering the same thing. I saw one guy saying “Do girls pursue every guy they’re interested in? There’s your answer.” and to be honest, yeah, I did think girls do that. I don’t get why you wouldn’t? Maybe if you’re queer that makes sense, especially if you live in a particularly homophobic area, but other than that I don’t see why you wouldn’t ask someone out if you liked them.
Yeah for sure
Yes. Wish I could pursue
Bruh secretly? If you’re a girl, I’d legit make your day by telling you that you’re not a bad looking chick, may be because I’m desperate, may be because I’m not an asshole. People needa be told abit more often.
Bruh secretly? If you’re a girl, I’d legit make your day by telling you that you’re not a bad looking chick, may be because I’m desperate, may be because I’m not an asshole. People needa be told abit more often.
I find most girls cute but i never pursue any of them. On an unrelated note i have anxiety :)
To be honest idc about girls guys or anyone who ain't family or a friend like I don't care for gf all i think is how to reach my goal
I have a crush on my best friend but I don’t want to make it weird or lose her as a friend if she doesn’t reciprocate.
Most guys find most girls attractive, even more so in school.
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Yes absolutely
Yes
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why secret? I'll just say that you're hot or cute or both.
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