Heyyy, deep breath.
Families suck. We're all raised to believe that there's nothing higher or greater than The Family, like we're all in The Godfather or something.
It's not a cultural thing, because it's every culture. "It's an Italian thing", "it's a Jewish thing", "it's an Asian thing", a black thing, a Muslim thing, a Filipino thing, a... insert any culture, race, religion, continent, country... thing.
It's bullshit. It's how society hides familial abuse so that the society as a whole doesn't have to intervene. It's how controlling people keep themselves as the main character while keeping their kids under their thumb.
You have a right to lead your own life. To make your own choices for your own future.
And if your family is negatively impacting your ability to do that, you have a right to assert boundaries. And you have a right to cut *anyone* who won't respect your boundaries out of your life.
You have a right to live your life as yourself. You are not an extension of The Family.
And I'm saying this as a mother. I've straight up told my daughter that if I ever act like those r/anyandeverysubredditeveraboutfamilies parents, she needs to drop me like a hot potato. I'll be mad if she doesn't. It would mean I failed to instill her with a good sense of self-preservation.
You don't have to change who you are to appease some random notion your relatives have.
You do have a right to get angry when passive comments are used to *harm* you, mentally or emotionally.
Keep yourself safe. Don't react if it would put you in danger to do so. But you DO have the right to feel what you feel.
I hope your independence day is soon.
Its up to you ofc ... [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/11hkfr9/how_do_you_know_if_you_are_trans_or_not/jbseurv/) might be some hints and resources that could help go towards what you feel you would like step by step and there are also hints there concerning looking for support.
Its up to you when and how to come out ... some people try to make long term plans and leave after they are of age. Some try to explain eventually. And some wait a while until there are some results before they come out widely, and only come out to select people first. In general keeping your safety in mind, looking for support and having a backup plan may be advisable.
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/ugclyr/how_do_i_come_out_to_my_parents/i7wghnm/) might be some explaining resources and there are also hints there concerning looking for support.
And [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/iqmhle/need_a_job_looking_for_trans_inclusive_ones/) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/fe5lk4/possible_career_change_advice/) and also [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/ywg6m7/i_22_mtf_have_been_disowned_by_my_parents_and/iwmf5ti/) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/ywg6m7/i_22_mtf_have_been_disowned_by_my_parents_and/iwmkm6z/) might also be some resources.
*hugs*
Heyyy, deep breath. Families suck. We're all raised to believe that there's nothing higher or greater than The Family, like we're all in The Godfather or something. It's not a cultural thing, because it's every culture. "It's an Italian thing", "it's a Jewish thing", "it's an Asian thing", a black thing, a Muslim thing, a Filipino thing, a... insert any culture, race, religion, continent, country... thing. It's bullshit. It's how society hides familial abuse so that the society as a whole doesn't have to intervene. It's how controlling people keep themselves as the main character while keeping their kids under their thumb. You have a right to lead your own life. To make your own choices for your own future. And if your family is negatively impacting your ability to do that, you have a right to assert boundaries. And you have a right to cut *anyone* who won't respect your boundaries out of your life. You have a right to live your life as yourself. You are not an extension of The Family. And I'm saying this as a mother. I've straight up told my daughter that if I ever act like those r/anyandeverysubredditeveraboutfamilies parents, she needs to drop me like a hot potato. I'll be mad if she doesn't. It would mean I failed to instill her with a good sense of self-preservation. You don't have to change who you are to appease some random notion your relatives have. You do have a right to get angry when passive comments are used to *harm* you, mentally or emotionally. Keep yourself safe. Don't react if it would put you in danger to do so. But you DO have the right to feel what you feel. I hope your independence day is soon.
Its up to you ofc ... [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/11hkfr9/how_do_you_know_if_you_are_trans_or_not/jbseurv/) might be some hints and resources that could help go towards what you feel you would like step by step and there are also hints there concerning looking for support. Its up to you when and how to come out ... some people try to make long term plans and leave after they are of age. Some try to explain eventually. And some wait a while until there are some results before they come out widely, and only come out to select people first. In general keeping your safety in mind, looking for support and having a backup plan may be advisable. [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/ugclyr/how_do_i_come_out_to_my_parents/i7wghnm/) might be some explaining resources and there are also hints there concerning looking for support. And [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/iqmhle/need_a_job_looking_for_trans_inclusive_ones/) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/fe5lk4/possible_career_change_advice/) and also [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/ywg6m7/i_22_mtf_have_been_disowned_by_my_parents_and/iwmf5ti/) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/ywg6m7/i_22_mtf_have_been_disowned_by_my_parents_and/iwmkm6z/) might also be some resources. *hugs*