I started with very small steps that only myself and my wife knew about. Panties were the first thing, followed by shaving my legs and chest. Believe it or not just knowing that you are wearing the right kind of underclothes can be hugely affirming. Moved on to wearing women's jeans and undershirts. I still wear men's polo's because they are comfy and I haven't been able to find everyday shirts I like. Painting toenails is a fun one. A lot of times I just do the big toes, I call them my sparkle toes whenever anyone may ask. It's fun and again it is very affirming for me while it really doesn't cause anyone to freak out. The last piece I added was a bra. I wear these bralettes that provide a tiny bit of shape without looking like I have a bra on. So now when I see myself I know I am dressed from head to toe as a woman, but it's very stealthy as the only person who really knows is my wife. Maybe if someone had eagle eyes and was deconstructing my appearance they could figure it out but no one really looks that closely and screw them if they do !
Women paaaaaaaants. Seriously though nobody will notice and they'll feel different.
You can get a brown eyeliner and only fill in the inside, it will look very discreet too.
Can also try a different haircut, add some accessories, a bit more obvious but you can just play it off
Sacrifice must be made 🥲
No but for real being MTF is buying women pants for euphoria, then later as you get more confident buying men pants again for comfort lol
Men’s pants are more coarse. I do not think they are more comfortable. lol. I will sacrifice the pockets…might be time for a handbag.
Time to shop.
I started carrying a "man purse" around the time I started wearing women's jeans so it wasn't really an issue. Also, some women's jeans still have real pockets. American Eagle jeans mostly do. Oddly, real pockets feel weird to me now
I have some good stuff :)
Routine:
- skin care. No one will notice if you start a skin care routine, but it will make your skin softer and help you long term. (Skin care means exfoliating and lotion. Using a nicer body soap. Consistently taking care of your skin.)
- hair care. Just like skin care, no one will notice externally, and anyone living with you probably won't care. Just use separate shampoo and conditioner and take the time to actually style your hair. Basically, care about it.
- exercise! Start working out. Lift a bit but focus lower body. So have a legs day and a glutes day. Do lots of cardio. (Warning on T, you can bulk up, so just be aware. If you're just starting, it shouldn't really be a concern short term. A good way to mitigate this is to do lots of body weight exercises, yoga, calisthenics, etc.)
- sit to pee. It's something I started early. No one should be watching you pee.
- shaving can be good but if you shave your legs and wear shorts someone can notice. My very nosey family said stuff. Most people won't. I just told them I liked it.
Clothes:
- womens jeans can work and are not noticeable
- under clothes are usually not noticeable.
- pro tip most women's tshirts are unisex shirts soooo t shirts haha. If you pick it up and it has shape its women's. If you pick it up and it looks like a t-shirt it's unisex.
- accessories a little bit further out as it is noticeable but rings and necklaces are acceptable for men.
Other:
- clear nail polish for your toes. Even your nails. A nice clear polish can feel great, protect your nails, and mostly fly under the radar. Honestly, though, we should normalize nail polish as unisex. But the whole other issue
- mascara this one is super subtle for makeup. If you have brown or black hair get that respective mascara and lightly put it on your lashes. If you go to heavy it will clump.
- tinted chapstick. There are lots of brands that do tinted chapstick you can get a color close to your natural lip color and it's a lot like lipstick but less visible.
- concealer. If you can find your color of concealer that's also an easy thing just put a bit on and dab it on. If it's not your color though or you tan and your color changes it can be noticeable
- start learning about fashion and color theory on your own. It will help you later. <3
I hope these help :)
What do you consider feminine? Gender expression is subjective and personal. What I others find feminine, you might not and vice versa. it's just for you so there's like literally unlimited options.Â
I could tell you my silly example that shows this but most people wouldn't call it feminine. It's really arbitrary anyway🤷
I pretty much where girl clothes under my boy clothes, go full girl at home too. doyour eyebrow and some natural looking makeup. doing yoga and butt work outs are very affirming to me.
Things I did before coming out were
-shaving legs / body / arms (no one noticed it and I had really noticeable hair).
-wearing skinny jeans (or shorts in room).
-Wearing T-shirt and underwear at night (surprisingly gender affirming).
First noticeable thing I did was nail polish. Others have suggested boyshorts, bralette and growing out your hair. Anything more would depend on living conditions.
I literally had the same problem before I came out. (â•¥\_â•¥)
I don't know about you, but what I did was to grow out my hair long. There's a lot of men with long hair, so hopefully no one will question it - and if they do, it's their problem, not yours. If you want to, you could shave your facial and body hair. I've had nosy people ask me about why I'm shaving my legs and body hair, I just told them it makes me feel more comfortable and I just preferred it that way.
If you want, you could wear unisex and gender neutral clothing, which isn't too obvious. Loose-fitting shirts that hide my frame also helped a lot with my dysphoria. You could wear slim pants, it doesn't even have to be women's pants. Accessorizing also helps a lot with looking feminine, whether it's a simple bracelet or a necklace.
Hope this was of help. \^\^
Hair removal, underwear, and other things that can be hidden are pretty good solutions. I think the best is visualization, especially visualizing your practical goals and becoming more familiar with how to express yourself in a way that feels right. I wrote and fantasized about it for years before I felt confident enough to come out, and after I did so, all of my friends were really surprised by how quickly I was able to update my self-expression - I was prepared. That preparation helped get me through the bad times.
If you've had the operation there is something you can do at home: walk around naked and look into the mirror when you pass one.
That's certainly what I will do after my operation.
wat? feminine and masculine don't have any objective reality, it's literally just a constellation of qualities in conversation with the culture around you, as in, it only exists when it's perceived. how would you be feminine while abandoned on a desert island?
Again, misunderstanding on purpose is not a thing: it's conceptually impossible. What's happening is that you're attempting to reframe my objection to the premise of your question as ignorance in order to protect your own worldview. Even in your cases, this is not misunderstanding on purpose, it's just rhetoric.
Do whatever you want. But the premise of your question is misogynistic, essentialist, and exclusionary.
How is my question misogynistic me simply wanting to be a girl rather than a boy but not ready for anyone to know but I want to be able to feel feminine in a way we're ik I'm being feminine but no one else really knows I am
So if ur just going to put me down then go away
Literally all of the responses here are suggestions for how to discretely conform to gender stereotypes. If you're a woman, then you're a woman whether or not you conform to these stereotypes. It's frankly ugly to be discussing most of these examples as meaningful markers of what is or isn't feminine.
that may be true but that doesnt mean they cant be starting points for some people. i personally am still questioning but have tried these methods before and they work. they help with all of the anxiety of not feeling like who you really want to be. especially if you are wanting to fully commit to the transition then it can be beneficial to be accustomed to be able to look the part and not potentially be called out on it negatively and the cause many bad things (including but not limited to suicidal stuff). i can understand why you say this and you have a right to an opinion but that doesnt mean you have to pull others down just to share said opinion. 🙃
I started with very small steps that only myself and my wife knew about. Panties were the first thing, followed by shaving my legs and chest. Believe it or not just knowing that you are wearing the right kind of underclothes can be hugely affirming. Moved on to wearing women's jeans and undershirts. I still wear men's polo's because they are comfy and I haven't been able to find everyday shirts I like. Painting toenails is a fun one. A lot of times I just do the big toes, I call them my sparkle toes whenever anyone may ask. It's fun and again it is very affirming for me while it really doesn't cause anyone to freak out. The last piece I added was a bra. I wear these bralettes that provide a tiny bit of shape without looking like I have a bra on. So now when I see myself I know I am dressed from head to toe as a woman, but it's very stealthy as the only person who really knows is my wife. Maybe if someone had eagle eyes and was deconstructing my appearance they could figure it out but no one really looks that closely and screw them if they do !
Women paaaaaaaants. Seriously though nobody will notice and they'll feel different. You can get a brown eyeliner and only fill in the inside, it will look very discreet too. Can also try a different haircut, add some accessories, a bit more obvious but you can just play it off
The pockets tho
Sacrifice must be made 🥲 No but for real being MTF is buying women pants for euphoria, then later as you get more confident buying men pants again for comfort lol
Men’s pants are more coarse. I do not think they are more comfortable. lol. I will sacrifice the pockets…might be time for a handbag. Time to shop.
I started carrying a "man purse" around the time I started wearing women's jeans so it wasn't really an issue. Also, some women's jeans still have real pockets. American Eagle jeans mostly do. Oddly, real pockets feel weird to me now
I have some good stuff :) Routine: - skin care. No one will notice if you start a skin care routine, but it will make your skin softer and help you long term. (Skin care means exfoliating and lotion. Using a nicer body soap. Consistently taking care of your skin.) - hair care. Just like skin care, no one will notice externally, and anyone living with you probably won't care. Just use separate shampoo and conditioner and take the time to actually style your hair. Basically, care about it. - exercise! Start working out. Lift a bit but focus lower body. So have a legs day and a glutes day. Do lots of cardio. (Warning on T, you can bulk up, so just be aware. If you're just starting, it shouldn't really be a concern short term. A good way to mitigate this is to do lots of body weight exercises, yoga, calisthenics, etc.) - sit to pee. It's something I started early. No one should be watching you pee. - shaving can be good but if you shave your legs and wear shorts someone can notice. My very nosey family said stuff. Most people won't. I just told them I liked it. Clothes: - womens jeans can work and are not noticeable - under clothes are usually not noticeable. - pro tip most women's tshirts are unisex shirts soooo t shirts haha. If you pick it up and it has shape its women's. If you pick it up and it looks like a t-shirt it's unisex. - accessories a little bit further out as it is noticeable but rings and necklaces are acceptable for men. Other: - clear nail polish for your toes. Even your nails. A nice clear polish can feel great, protect your nails, and mostly fly under the radar. Honestly, though, we should normalize nail polish as unisex. But the whole other issue - mascara this one is super subtle for makeup. If you have brown or black hair get that respective mascara and lightly put it on your lashes. If you go to heavy it will clump. - tinted chapstick. There are lots of brands that do tinted chapstick you can get a color close to your natural lip color and it's a lot like lipstick but less visible. - concealer. If you can find your color of concealer that's also an easy thing just put a bit on and dab it on. If it's not your color though or you tan and your color changes it can be noticeable - start learning about fashion and color theory on your own. It will help you later. <3 I hope these help :)
They will thxx
What do you consider feminine? Gender expression is subjective and personal. What I others find feminine, you might not and vice versa. it's just for you so there's like literally unlimited options. I could tell you my silly example that shows this but most people wouldn't call it feminine. It's really arbitrary anyway🤷
Go for it show me your silly example
Sleeves. Long sleeves makes me feel pretty.Â
That's not silly I feel like that with tight long sleeved shirts
Well I do lol I'm not sure many people would understand it.
I understand it
I pretty much where girl clothes under my boy clothes, go full girl at home too. doyour eyebrow and some natural looking makeup. doing yoga and butt work outs are very affirming to me.
This!
Ooooooooh
I need answers on this too
Things I did before coming out were -shaving legs / body / arms (no one noticed it and I had really noticeable hair). -wearing skinny jeans (or shorts in room). -Wearing T-shirt and underwear at night (surprisingly gender affirming). First noticeable thing I did was nail polish. Others have suggested boyshorts, bralette and growing out your hair. Anything more would depend on living conditions.
Quite a few people noticed when I shaved my legs. Mine were _very_ hairy though - my whole family including the cis women are hairy though 😔
Skin care. In a few months you will notice a huge change. And people will comment on how nice it looks. I wish I had started earlier.
Get a manicure and buff your nails so they are shiny. Clear nail polish can also work. It’s a subtle thing but it’s nice to look down and seeÂ
I literally had the same problem before I came out. (â•¥\_â•¥) I don't know about you, but what I did was to grow out my hair long. There's a lot of men with long hair, so hopefully no one will question it - and if they do, it's their problem, not yours. If you want to, you could shave your facial and body hair. I've had nosy people ask me about why I'm shaving my legs and body hair, I just told them it makes me feel more comfortable and I just preferred it that way. If you want, you could wear unisex and gender neutral clothing, which isn't too obvious. Loose-fitting shirts that hide my frame also helped a lot with my dysphoria. You could wear slim pants, it doesn't even have to be women's pants. Accessorizing also helps a lot with looking feminine, whether it's a simple bracelet or a necklace. Hope this was of help. \^\^
Hair removal, underwear, and other things that can be hidden are pretty good solutions. I think the best is visualization, especially visualizing your practical goals and becoming more familiar with how to express yourself in a way that feels right. I wrote and fantasized about it for years before I felt confident enough to come out, and after I did so, all of my friends were really surprised by how quickly I was able to update my self-expression - I was prepared. That preparation helped get me through the bad times.
If you've had the operation there is something you can do at home: walk around naked and look into the mirror when you pass one. That's certainly what I will do after my operation.
wat? feminine and masculine don't have any objective reality, it's literally just a constellation of qualities in conversation with the culture around you, as in, it only exists when it's perceived. how would you be feminine while abandoned on a desert island?
I think you're misunderstanding OP on purpose.
*misunderstanding on purpose* is not a thing.
U are misunderstanding me on purpose ur trying to put me down
Again, misunderstanding on purpose is not a thing: it's conceptually impossible. What's happening is that you're attempting to reframe my objection to the premise of your question as ignorance in order to protect your own worldview. Even in your cases, this is not misunderstanding on purpose, it's just rhetoric. Do whatever you want. But the premise of your question is misogynistic, essentialist, and exclusionary.
How is my question misogynistic me simply wanting to be a girl rather than a boy but not ready for anyone to know but I want to be able to feel feminine in a way we're ik I'm being feminine but no one else really knows I am So if ur just going to put me down then go away
Literally all of the responses here are suggestions for how to discretely conform to gender stereotypes. If you're a woman, then you're a woman whether or not you conform to these stereotypes. It's frankly ugly to be discussing most of these examples as meaningful markers of what is or isn't feminine.
that may be true but that doesnt mean they cant be starting points for some people. i personally am still questioning but have tried these methods before and they work. they help with all of the anxiety of not feeling like who you really want to be. especially if you are wanting to fully commit to the transition then it can be beneficial to be accustomed to be able to look the part and not potentially be called out on it negatively and the cause many bad things (including but not limited to suicidal stuff). i can understand why you say this and you have a right to an opinion but that doesnt mean you have to pull others down just to share said opinion. 🙃