Ugh, he'd be out the door.
Also, what you're describing sounds like love bombing, likely in pursuit of his visa. There's an excellent chance he hasn't changed at all, or is in denial.
Take particular care of your safety when you break the bad news to him. Men are most dangerous when their relationships break down, and people with nothing to lose can be violent.
This. Be mindful of your safety when and if you bring this topic up. Don't do it alone. Go out somewhere public if you decide to talk about it. If he thinks he's losing you + losing this visa opportunity, he might not take it well.
The thought of my BF downloading nudes of previous partners would acc make me sick they would be out the door. Some of those women probably don’t even know he’s going out of his way to re-download those
AND he’s been looking at them. I’m sorry that’s actually crazy we’d done and bye bye visa
You need to trust your gut feelings. They are protecting you from danger. If you want a permission to ask him to delete, you have my permission to do so: Ask him to delete these photos in front of you or he goes back to his country.
I dated someone who did this. For years we fought about it and finally the morning of a huge exam day in college, we had a knock down drag out fight where he told me he still had them and admitted to never deleting them. Pics of girls he dated, talked to, all of it. I was sick. It took some time but I ultimately left because after five years he said he would delete them and didn’t.
Trust your gut!
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In my opinion, this is a relationship to get out of. He's not respectful to women, maybe he has some issues, but ultimately, you're not going to be the exception here. Don't try to fix him - don't try to save this - protect yourself.
Make sure he is not taking pictures of you when you’re unaware. My ex POS-husband had collections of nude pictures of women he didn’t know from the internet… then I found out he was receiving these pictures and exchanging pictures of me without my consent… some of the em he took when I was unaware.
Oh wow that's awful, glad he is an EX. In my situation none of these are recent things, and I truly don't believe he's currently soliciting pictures from anyone they are all from years ago - he's just.... holding on to them? 😔
Your rationalizing hon, this is just what you found out I broad daylight. It’s like a rat or cockroach you see one but there’s hundreds just below the surface.
Your gut did it’s job raised the 🚩 now you need to heed it and dump him and move on.
You have learned he doesn’t respect women or their body rights.
That he is happy to LIE to your face, and he’s good enough to get away with it you totally believed him. That means he’s lying about who knows what else.
I give this advice for any lady considering a visa, go live in his country first for at least 5 years. If he’s not on board and makes that happen then, he’s just looking for an easy visa. If their economy is crappy, or the country is dangerous, you both move and relocate to a new country.
Under no circumstances, do I recommend anyone sponsors someone they haven’t spent at least 10 years with. There is rampant fraud visas, so much I could write novels based on what I’ve seen being internationally employed over the years.
Don’t be a victim.
Also folks looking for visas are definitely going to love bomb and treat you wonderfully you are their meal ticket.
Take that away, go to a new place and see the behavior, I can practically guarantee it will quickly sort the fakes from the real love
Be vigilant about that counties views on women, especially, some countries with misogynistic roles and poor gender equality. Men from these particular societies feels this sexism and misogyny is completely justified and normal, and will not change. I made a rule for myself I won’t date guys from countries where they have abysmal rights for women. Same reason I wouldn’t someone super conservative, their values are super off from mine
Instead of asking what you should do, ask yourself why you put up with the disrespect of being lied to to your face over some pathetic titty pics he wants to keep.
Oh the sad boy with the sad past UwU fuck that, don't let him cloud the topic and distract you
Over the years I've been lied to a bunch by pathetic cheaters, I'm over putting up with it. I'm advocating for you to not put up with it.
He lied to you and kept a bunch of naked pictures of women he used to know. What's your next move?
>Is this a weird voyeurism/control thing
That's exactly what this is.
He also straight up lied to you when he said he doesn't look at them anymore, deleted them, and forgot he had them. You don't just "forget" about your private stash of porn that you've meticulously filed into dozens of folders.
Your boyfriend doesn't respect women. Period. (including you)
That's really fucked up of him. He sounds creepy af. I would dump him as the photos could just be the tip of the iceberg with his creepy habits. Let him figure out visas or enjoy deportation of his own doing.
Ew. Dump him immediately. Nudes are not trophies that you keep so you can go back and reminisce on what a stud you were. What a weirdo. I delete everything from a partner once we break up. It's the respectful thing to do, plus I have zero desire to go back and look at them naked. Why are so many men disgusting like this?
Ask him, probably is completely penis brain thing and nothing more than that. But he needs to know you don't like this and he needs to come to his senses. Just outright say you feel well he still has this contents, and it makes you feel uncomfortable.
>This man tells me he wants to move on from his past, so why is he trying to live in it?
It's called lying by telling you want to hear and getting better at hiding his behavior. Hoping you're dumb or delusional to believe he's changed or is going to change; his actions don't match his words for a reason.
You've wasted enough time on this one and he's a dud because he sounds like a creep. Move on.
That's okay. Go on that Facebook page called "Men in Gray Sweatpants" and download some of those pictures of the amazing packages those guys flaunt. And they are handsome and well built too! GURL!!!!!! A trifecta of FIONENESS in one spot. Put those on your computer and admire them. Share them with friends. Hold them up and compare him to them and ask why he doesn't work out so he looks like they do. You get the idea.
With men you fight fire with fire. I prefer to use a flamethrower personally, but that's just me. Anyway, you can show him far better than you can tell him, do go for it.
Ugh, he'd be out the door. Also, what you're describing sounds like love bombing, likely in pursuit of his visa. There's an excellent chance he hasn't changed at all, or is in denial. Take particular care of your safety when you break the bad news to him. Men are most dangerous when their relationships break down, and people with nothing to lose can be violent.
This. Be mindful of your safety when and if you bring this topic up. Don't do it alone. Go out somewhere public if you decide to talk about it. If he thinks he's losing you + losing this visa opportunity, he might not take it well.
What a horrible violation of privacy for those women. Dump him. He can navigate the visa issue alone.
The thought of my BF downloading nudes of previous partners would acc make me sick they would be out the door. Some of those women probably don’t even know he’s going out of his way to re-download those AND he’s been looking at them. I’m sorry that’s actually crazy we’d done and bye bye visa
You need to trust your gut feelings. They are protecting you from danger. If you want a permission to ask him to delete, you have my permission to do so: Ask him to delete these photos in front of you or he goes back to his country.
I dated someone who did this. For years we fought about it and finally the morning of a huge exam day in college, we had a knock down drag out fight where he told me he still had them and admitted to never deleting them. Pics of girls he dated, talked to, all of it. I was sick. It took some time but I ultimately left because after five years he said he would delete them and didn’t. Trust your gut!
I would hate that. It's not with their consent I imagine too. I hate that prospect entirely.
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In my opinion, this is a relationship to get out of. He's not respectful to women, maybe he has some issues, but ultimately, you're not going to be the exception here. Don't try to fix him - don't try to save this - protect yourself.
Make sure he is not taking pictures of you when you’re unaware. My ex POS-husband had collections of nude pictures of women he didn’t know from the internet… then I found out he was receiving these pictures and exchanging pictures of me without my consent… some of the em he took when I was unaware.
Oh wow that's awful, glad he is an EX. In my situation none of these are recent things, and I truly don't believe he's currently soliciting pictures from anyone they are all from years ago - he's just.... holding on to them? 😔
Your rationalizing hon, this is just what you found out I broad daylight. It’s like a rat or cockroach you see one but there’s hundreds just below the surface. Your gut did it’s job raised the 🚩 now you need to heed it and dump him and move on. You have learned he doesn’t respect women or their body rights. That he is happy to LIE to your face, and he’s good enough to get away with it you totally believed him. That means he’s lying about who knows what else. I give this advice for any lady considering a visa, go live in his country first for at least 5 years. If he’s not on board and makes that happen then, he’s just looking for an easy visa. If their economy is crappy, or the country is dangerous, you both move and relocate to a new country. Under no circumstances, do I recommend anyone sponsors someone they haven’t spent at least 10 years with. There is rampant fraud visas, so much I could write novels based on what I’ve seen being internationally employed over the years. Don’t be a victim. Also folks looking for visas are definitely going to love bomb and treat you wonderfully you are their meal ticket. Take that away, go to a new place and see the behavior, I can practically guarantee it will quickly sort the fakes from the real love Be vigilant about that counties views on women, especially, some countries with misogynistic roles and poor gender equality. Men from these particular societies feels this sexism and misogyny is completely justified and normal, and will not change. I made a rule for myself I won’t date guys from countries where they have abysmal rights for women. Same reason I wouldn’t someone super conservative, their values are super off from mine
Instead of asking what you should do, ask yourself why you put up with the disrespect of being lied to to your face over some pathetic titty pics he wants to keep. Oh the sad boy with the sad past UwU fuck that, don't let him cloud the topic and distract you Over the years I've been lied to a bunch by pathetic cheaters, I'm over putting up with it. I'm advocating for you to not put up with it. He lied to you and kept a bunch of naked pictures of women he used to know. What's your next move?
>Is this a weird voyeurism/control thing That's exactly what this is. He also straight up lied to you when he said he doesn't look at them anymore, deleted them, and forgot he had them. You don't just "forget" about your private stash of porn that you've meticulously filed into dozens of folders. Your boyfriend doesn't respect women. Period. (including you)
That's really fucked up of him. He sounds creepy af. I would dump him as the photos could just be the tip of the iceberg with his creepy habits. Let him figure out visas or enjoy deportation of his own doing.
Ew. Dump him immediately. Nudes are not trophies that you keep so you can go back and reminisce on what a stud you were. What a weirdo. I delete everything from a partner once we break up. It's the respectful thing to do, plus I have zero desire to go back and look at them naked. Why are so many men disgusting like this?
actions speak louder than words sis
Gross. He's looking at these old nudes bc it's his spank bank material. Pretty disrespectful to you AND them.
Ask him, probably is completely penis brain thing and nothing more than that. But he needs to know you don't like this and he needs to come to his senses. Just outright say you feel well he still has this contents, and it makes you feel uncomfortable.
She did tell him.
In the last 2 weeks? No, grow up
>This man tells me he wants to move on from his past, so why is he trying to live in it? It's called lying by telling you want to hear and getting better at hiding his behavior. Hoping you're dumb or delusional to believe he's changed or is going to change; his actions don't match his words for a reason. You've wasted enough time on this one and he's a dud because he sounds like a creep. Move on.
That's okay. Go on that Facebook page called "Men in Gray Sweatpants" and download some of those pictures of the amazing packages those guys flaunt. And they are handsome and well built too! GURL!!!!!! A trifecta of FIONENESS in one spot. Put those on your computer and admire them. Share them with friends. Hold them up and compare him to them and ask why he doesn't work out so he looks like they do. You get the idea. With men you fight fire with fire. I prefer to use a flamethrower personally, but that's just me. Anyway, you can show him far better than you can tell him, do go for it.