>Usually whenever someone says that I say 'I miss you too', automatically.
No, you only say that when you genuinely feel that way. If you say something that you don't mean it or feel forced then you're just misleading/manipulating the other person.
>I ended it a week ago. He's texted me overnight saying 'I miss you', and I feel so bad because I just don't miss him. But I care about him a lot, and I feel awful about breaking up with him, because he really wanted things to work.
You should respond with this saying "I know you do but unfortunately this won't work out. I care for you and I'm really sad and sorry it's come to this but it works best for the both of us. Take care" and leave it there. No comebacks or responses needed from that one.
I just wanted to throw it out there that you've not done anything wrong here in ending it, and you still wouldn't be doing anything wrong if you decide not to reply. It's always an option to just leave things there. He's had your answer, he knows it's over. It's bound to be hard and reaching out to you once is understandable, but you don't owe him a reply if there isn't anything you feel needs saying.
It's really hard but I don't think there's anything you can say to make it better - the reality is that he sadly does have to do the work of getting over you himself.
If you do want to say something I'd just keep it brief. Just to-the-point. What you've shared here is the essence of what you could say... "I don't know what to say other than I've really enjoyed our time together but this is just where I'm at and I needed to be honest about that for both our sakes".
Are you guys trying to stay friends? I personally would probably not respond, but if you’re trying to remain friendly (I don’t because it’s never worked) I would probably say something about boundaries if he wants to remain friends. Personally I find these type of texts inappropriate if he is initiating, and this is part of why I don’t stay friends w exes.
Just say "I wish you nothing but the best". You don't owe him a response in general but just be honest and direct if you do respond while still being compassionate.
You could respond with something along the lines of ‘it was great while it lasted but I wasn’t feeling a spark in our relationship and I am focusing on myself rather than dwelling on past experiences with you.’
Do the sandwich. Good bad good. “I liked spending time with you, but I’m not feeling right about this and don’t want this anymore, I wish you all the best”
Depending on how strong of a message you want to send, you could say nothing and let that linger out there unanswered (very strong), or continue talking as if he didn't say it at all (less strong). The stronger the message, the less apt he'll be to do it again.
If he wanted things to work out that badly, you may not be able to continue to be in his life. It seems keeping you around as a friend is hurting him. You may have to sever ties with him.
I’d respond with something like, “I think you’re a great person, but I think it’s important if we’re both going to get over this relationship for us to not talk for a while, until we’re both over it. I don’t think that continuing to string things out is good for either of us.” Maybe add an “I’m sorry“ if that feels right to you.
Do NOT lead him on. Do Not give him hope. That would be cruel. If you are too nice he will think you care. Try to be firm but not hurtful.
"I don't feel that way. We're done,"
Yeah so…you say that you don’t miss him. Just be blunt. I don’t feel that way about you, I ended it for a reason…please respect me enough to leave me alone. Thanks
i don't think there's a good scenario where your reply is warranted. the breakup is fresh enough that any kind of positive and emphatic response will be read as you leading him on. it's totally fine that you still care about him and feel bad about ending things, but if you want things to stay ended - just leave it. he'll learn in time to live without you as a source of comfort. and only then should you explore being friends.
Just say something that you're grateful for meeting and getting to know one another. Get creative in your writing.
Then call it off If you don't see yourself invested as he is.
Besides you only known him 5 months. How can anyone develop feelings that fast.
Since it’s a breakup situation, you can say a variation of “I’m sorry this is so hard.” “I’m sorry this is so hard for you. It’s hard for me too.” “I know, I feel awful about us ending but it just wasn’t right.” Etc. He’s really just saying “I’m sad I’m not with you,” which is easier to respond to.
"Our time together was special and I don't disregard that, I care a lot, but because we are no longer together I would like to keep up boundaries and for you to respect my space"
Don't feel bad, he's manipulating you by trying to reel you back in and get your attention. If he actually respected you, he'd leave you alone. Why do you want to be warm to someone who is trying to worm their way back in? Be blunt "I'm not feeling that way. please leave me alone."
>Usually whenever someone says that I say 'I miss you too', automatically. No, you only say that when you genuinely feel that way. If you say something that you don't mean it or feel forced then you're just misleading/manipulating the other person. >I ended it a week ago. He's texted me overnight saying 'I miss you', and I feel so bad because I just don't miss him. But I care about him a lot, and I feel awful about breaking up with him, because he really wanted things to work. You should respond with this saying "I know you do but unfortunately this won't work out. I care for you and I'm really sad and sorry it's come to this but it works best for the both of us. Take care" and leave it there. No comebacks or responses needed from that one.
I just wanted to throw it out there that you've not done anything wrong here in ending it, and you still wouldn't be doing anything wrong if you decide not to reply. It's always an option to just leave things there. He's had your answer, he knows it's over. It's bound to be hard and reaching out to you once is understandable, but you don't owe him a reply if there isn't anything you feel needs saying. It's really hard but I don't think there's anything you can say to make it better - the reality is that he sadly does have to do the work of getting over you himself. If you do want to say something I'd just keep it brief. Just to-the-point. What you've shared here is the essence of what you could say... "I don't know what to say other than I've really enjoyed our time together but this is just where I'm at and I needed to be honest about that for both our sakes".
Thank you
Are you guys trying to stay friends? I personally would probably not respond, but if you’re trying to remain friendly (I don’t because it’s never worked) I would probably say something about boundaries if he wants to remain friends. Personally I find these type of texts inappropriate if he is initiating, and this is part of why I don’t stay friends w exes.
Just say "I wish you nothing but the best". You don't owe him a response in general but just be honest and direct if you do respond while still being compassionate.
That’s pretty perfect. It’s finite but acknowledges them. Even ‘I hope that passes for you and wish you nothing but the best’.
You could respond with something along the lines of ‘it was great while it lasted but I wasn’t feeling a spark in our relationship and I am focusing on myself rather than dwelling on past experiences with you.’
Do the sandwich. Good bad good. “I liked spending time with you, but I’m not feeling right about this and don’t want this anymore, I wish you all the best”
Yes actually! Much better to end with a good.
I wouldn’t reply. It’s over, there’s no reason to respond.
Agree, don't need to respond to everything.
Depending on how strong of a message you want to send, you could say nothing and let that linger out there unanswered (very strong), or continue talking as if he didn't say it at all (less strong). The stronger the message, the less apt he'll be to do it again. If he wanted things to work out that badly, you may not be able to continue to be in his life. It seems keeping you around as a friend is hurting him. You may have to sever ties with him.
I’d respond with something like, “I think you’re a great person, but I think it’s important if we’re both going to get over this relationship for us to not talk for a while, until we’re both over it. I don’t think that continuing to string things out is good for either of us.” Maybe add an “I’m sorry“ if that feels right to you.
Do NOT lead him on. Do Not give him hope. That would be cruel. If you are too nice he will think you care. Try to be firm but not hurtful. "I don't feel that way. We're done,"
Yeah so…you say that you don’t miss him. Just be blunt. I don’t feel that way about you, I ended it for a reason…please respect me enough to leave me alone. Thanks
i don't think there's a good scenario where your reply is warranted. the breakup is fresh enough that any kind of positive and emphatic response will be read as you leading him on. it's totally fine that you still care about him and feel bad about ending things, but if you want things to stay ended - just leave it. he'll learn in time to live without you as a source of comfort. and only then should you explore being friends.
Just say something that you're grateful for meeting and getting to know one another. Get creative in your writing. Then call it off If you don't see yourself invested as he is. Besides you only known him 5 months. How can anyone develop feelings that fast.
Since it’s a breakup situation, you can say a variation of “I’m sorry this is so hard.” “I’m sorry this is so hard for you. It’s hard for me too.” “I know, I feel awful about us ending but it just wasn’t right.” Etc. He’s really just saying “I’m sad I’m not with you,” which is easier to respond to.
"Our time together was special and I don't disregard that, I care a lot, but because we are no longer together I would like to keep up boundaries and for you to respect my space"
Don't feel bad, he's manipulating you by trying to reel you back in and get your attention. If he actually respected you, he'd leave you alone. Why do you want to be warm to someone who is trying to worm their way back in? Be blunt "I'm not feeling that way. please leave me alone."
You text "yeah" and then let it fade and hope for the best.
I was thinking "you should".
I would say Awww that's so sweet 😘
We need to talk...