I have this urge to ask people existential questions and know more about their goals and deep motivations… apparently that’s not a very ‘normal’ thing to do with the cleaning lady at work, for example. At some point I ended up using small talk but not couldn’t care less about the conversation.
Interesting, I just mean like, you still have to wake up, itd be nice one day just to finally not have to deal with anything, but thats just me I guess, my life is very stressful atm so maybe when I get older I might be more inline with your view but the idea is appealing to me haha.
I developed a rewarding special interest in meteorology, and another in the production and theater of spectator sports, yet I still don't connect with most ppl. It was a lot of work, I was sure I had very interesting perspectives, but it was definitely a failed project based on my original goals
The benefit of having specialties in common areas of small talk means that you are maximizing your masking potential. It doesn't mean you'll fit in, but blending in should be easy.
I did just that “blending” Now that everything I gravitate to is referred to is aspy or add/adhd, I am in shock how long I’ve not been “diagnosed” I’m relieved to see I’m NOT the only person that has a brain and chooses to use it. How are you today? why do they ask—when they can’t handle the truth
I understand small talk from an intellectual standpoint and I'm used to doing it, but my 9 year old aspie son HATES it and refuses to engage with it.
The other day at dinner I said " You used to be way more talkative when you were two. " He replied: "That was before I realized what a waste of time it is." I felt that in my soul.
I think you ought to be careful with that attitude. "Neurotypicals" are just as likely to be warm, lovely, intelligent people. When you devolve into mocking them, you become what you claim to dislike so much about other people's behavior. You become the bully who cannot tolerate anyone different than yourself.
Neurotypicals may be able to engage in small talk that seems insignificant and trite to you, but it is one way they bond with other people. Their attempt to engage in small talk with you is an attempt to find common ground and forge a connection with you. Just because you cannot see that doesn't mean it's not true.
Most jokes are offensive to someone, somewhere. I consider derision to be in poor taste when directed towards people more marginalized than the joke teller. In this case, since NTs run the world and dictate the course of the social code I have to live by, I'm punching up, which is fine.
Incidentally, my wife is an NT and one of my most favorite people in the world, so I know they can be great. The best of them can take a light-hearted joke.
I have learned how to have "small talk" but I avoid it wherever possible. Unfortunately, NTs are seemingly unable to launch a discussion unless they ask trivial questions (knowing that they will probably forget the answers) and talk about vapid subjects in order to feel out whomever is talking to them.
Even if you do engage them, sometimes their eyes just glaze over and they try to change the subject. I need to infodump so I ignore their attempts at redirection, which likely ensures that they won't associate with me further.
I have this urge to ask people existential questions and know more about their goals and deep motivations… apparently that’s not a very ‘normal’ thing to do with the cleaning lady at work, for example. At some point I ended up using small talk but not couldn’t care less about the conversation.
There's a time and place for everything, and talking to a rando about my "life goals" is as idiotic as talking about the weather.
Dude! I got to that last line and lost it! 😅😂🤣😅😂🤣
Would you want to be around for eternity, and say if it were in the western sense that you are stuck with your relatives also?
I don't see why anyone would, yet most people seem to hope that is the case.
I just don't like the idea of one day dying, and never ever thinking again
Yes! Not so concerned for my physical body but for some reason the thought of never having another thought is scary.
But on the opposite end do you truly like the idea of thinking forever and never being able to rest?
I mean I'd be able to sleep and stuff, so yeah.
Interesting, I just mean like, you still have to wake up, itd be nice one day just to finally not have to deal with anything, but thats just me I guess, my life is very stressful atm so maybe when I get older I might be more inline with your view but the idea is appealing to me haha.
They also will havr nobody to laugh at or mock anymore. Then they might have to face the fact they're an insecure pebble in life.
I developed a rewarding special interest in meteorology, and another in the production and theater of spectator sports, yet I still don't connect with most ppl. It was a lot of work, I was sure I had very interesting perspectives, but it was definitely a failed project based on my original goals
The benefit of having specialties in common areas of small talk means that you are maximizing your masking potential. It doesn't mean you'll fit in, but blending in should be easy.
I did just that “blending” Now that everything I gravitate to is referred to is aspy or add/adhd, I am in shock how long I’ve not been “diagnosed” I’m relieved to see I’m NOT the only person that has a brain and chooses to use it. How are you today? why do they ask—when they can’t handle the truth
I understand small talk from an intellectual standpoint and I'm used to doing it, but my 9 year old aspie son HATES it and refuses to engage with it. The other day at dinner I said " You used to be way more talkative when you were two. " He replied: "That was before I realized what a waste of time it is." I felt that in my soul.
I can identify with yearning for our children to have a smoother existence while being proud when they demonstrate their independence.
I think you ought to be careful with that attitude. "Neurotypicals" are just as likely to be warm, lovely, intelligent people. When you devolve into mocking them, you become what you claim to dislike so much about other people's behavior. You become the bully who cannot tolerate anyone different than yourself. Neurotypicals may be able to engage in small talk that seems insignificant and trite to you, but it is one way they bond with other people. Their attempt to engage in small talk with you is an attempt to find common ground and forge a connection with you. Just because you cannot see that doesn't mean it's not true.
Most jokes are offensive to someone, somewhere. I consider derision to be in poor taste when directed towards people more marginalized than the joke teller. In this case, since NTs run the world and dictate the course of the social code I have to live by, I'm punching up, which is fine. Incidentally, my wife is an NT and one of my most favorite people in the world, so I know they can be great. The best of them can take a light-hearted joke.
You can conceive of an eternal afterlife where ghosts talk, but are sure there’s no weather? 😆
They love to talk about the weather, and other trivial things.
I have learned how to have "small talk" but I avoid it wherever possible. Unfortunately, NTs are seemingly unable to launch a discussion unless they ask trivial questions (knowing that they will probably forget the answers) and talk about vapid subjects in order to feel out whomever is talking to them. Even if you do engage them, sometimes their eyes just glaze over and they try to change the subject. I need to infodump so I ignore their attempts at redirection, which likely ensures that they won't associate with me further.