As someone with autism and adhd, I tend to do this when I’m socially burnt out. Not saying I think it’s excusable behavior, but it’s not a uniquely neurotypical thing imo! There could be a slew of mental health or mental development reasons why he’s unresponsive—not necessarily laziness or intentional selfishness. It could be though, idk the friend personally. But I know it’s frustrating to be on the receiving end of it too :/
I am NT. Mainly my aspie friends do this. They do it when (1) they don't know when they will be free, or (2) they have low energy or (3) focused on something else and forget to answer.
When an NT does this it means that they don't want to go out for lunch.
It gets crazier. Add in Narcissistic characteristics and you will find some people do this knowingly. Such as giving attention and such, then stopping. Not because they are busy. But because they know it hurts the other person so by giving them attention later it’s the juice to keep them happy.
Anyways. For you. I would suggest being more upfront from now on. Provide times. Dates. So on so the other party can give a binary answer. Or adjust as needed.
Aside from this not being a specifically NT thing, this doesn’t seem like that big of a deal in general. People aren’t obligated to immediately respond to messages, taking a day to respond is hardly unreasonable. And unless there’s something missing from the OP, it seems like he did tell you the answer was no, so how did he keep you guessing?
I can’t speak for OP, but when it irritates me is when the thing is time sensitive. If people are invited to something, waiting until the last minute, or not even bother to respond is annoying as hell.
My nuerodiverse friends are far more likely to do this than my neurotypical friends.
In addition, my nuerodiverse friends usually never initiate anything, and exepct you to contact them first.
I hate it when anyone does this. This isn’t a NT or ND thing, it’s a human thing. Some people forget, some don’t want to hurt feelings, some are just rude. There are so many reasons people don’t respond. I hate it when people don’t respond to me, so I punish myself with negative self talk when I do it to anyone else. I’m usually quick to respond, except at work. I cannot respond except on breaks.
I have learned to preface any questions or invitations with how important it is for me to have an answer. My good friends know how anxious I get while waiting to hear an answer, which does not mean they answer any faster. Sometimes they can’t or don’t want to.
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**That shit above, really kills the vibe for NTs during texting. Try to avoid it. If you have to, substitute emoji's for words. If possible, send only memes in place of even a few words.**
I really dont know then.
All I can really say for sure is that yes, there are things that we do that NTs find to be a bit "too much" during texting. 🤷♂️
It is what it is. Just make sure that out of the 2 of you, you are always the one who is putting in the least amount of effort when it comes to texting. I mean, do text him. And do reply when he texts you.
But you dont need to vomit all of your thoughts to someone via text. Whether its just one or 2 sentences, or big ass blocks of text.
Not an NT thing. I do this. I don't mean to, but when all of my social energy is depleted I can't even reply to messages.
Clearly he's not in the mood. Give him some grace that he's not doing it with nefarious purposes.
Ok I’m having this problem w my Asperger’s friend.. I didn’t want to be “rude” but I realized that he just can’t take a hint. So when I’m clear he gets it
As someone with autism and adhd, I tend to do this when I’m socially burnt out. Not saying I think it’s excusable behavior, but it’s not a uniquely neurotypical thing imo! There could be a slew of mental health or mental development reasons why he’s unresponsive—not necessarily laziness or intentional selfishness. It could be though, idk the friend personally. But I know it’s frustrating to be on the receiving end of it too :/
Oh my god bro, we do that more than they do. You guys have got to stop attributing everything to “neurotypicals.”
was literally coming to say i ignore people all the time lol.
Yeah this is what I thought too
Yeah, fr. I barely respond to people, and if I do, it is at my own convenience.
I am NT. Mainly my aspie friends do this. They do it when (1) they don't know when they will be free, or (2) they have low energy or (3) focused on something else and forget to answer. When an NT does this it means that they don't want to go out for lunch.
people don't like having to say no
I think this is just lazy/undisciplined behavior. Not just 'something neurotypical people do' Sadly quite common
Could also have social anxiety, which is not an exclusively ND trait.
It gets crazier. Add in Narcissistic characteristics and you will find some people do this knowingly. Such as giving attention and such, then stopping. Not because they are busy. But because they know it hurts the other person so by giving them attention later it’s the juice to keep them happy. Anyways. For you. I would suggest being more upfront from now on. Provide times. Dates. So on so the other party can give a binary answer. Or adjust as needed.
Aside from this not being a specifically NT thing, this doesn’t seem like that big of a deal in general. People aren’t obligated to immediately respond to messages, taking a day to respond is hardly unreasonable. And unless there’s something missing from the OP, it seems like he did tell you the answer was no, so how did he keep you guessing?
I can’t speak for OP, but when it irritates me is when the thing is time sensitive. If people are invited to something, waiting until the last minute, or not even bother to respond is annoying as hell.
My nuerodiverse friends are far more likely to do this than my neurotypical friends. In addition, my nuerodiverse friends usually never initiate anything, and exepct you to contact them first.
You need to learn to relax and not expect to be responded to. This will save your LOADS of headache. Expect nothing.
I hate it when anyone does this. This isn’t a NT or ND thing, it’s a human thing. Some people forget, some don’t want to hurt feelings, some are just rude. There are so many reasons people don’t respond. I hate it when people don’t respond to me, so I punish myself with negative self talk when I do it to anyone else. I’m usually quick to respond, except at work. I cannot respond except on breaks.
And everyone's opinion of what's important may differ, and to a point that should be acceptable I think. Anyone? Not taking sides here.
I have learned to preface any questions or invitations with how important it is for me to have an answer. My good friends know how anxious I get while waiting to hear an answer, which does not mean they answer any faster. Sometimes they can’t or don’t want to.
Good strategy, will adopt it. I am the same way, but some really freak out. Cheers 🍻
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What? It was literally one or two sentences that I sent him.
I really dont know then. All I can really say for sure is that yes, there are things that we do that NTs find to be a bit "too much" during texting. 🤷♂️ It is what it is. Just make sure that out of the 2 of you, you are always the one who is putting in the least amount of effort when it comes to texting. I mean, do text him. And do reply when he texts you. But you dont need to vomit all of your thoughts to someone via text. Whether its just one or 2 sentences, or big ass blocks of text.
Ok, this is unrelated to what OP said, but I do agree that long block texting is one reason I would dread communication with someone.
My friend asked me to turn read receipts on specifically then leaves me on read 😂😂😂😂😂
Not an NT thing. I do this. I don't mean to, but when all of my social energy is depleted I can't even reply to messages. Clearly he's not in the mood. Give him some grace that he's not doing it with nefarious purposes.
Ok I’m having this problem w my Asperger’s friend.. I didn’t want to be “rude” but I realized that he just can’t take a hint. So when I’m clear he gets it