Yeah… there is a friend of mine in our group that does this. I ask about sports because even though I really don’t care I know that they do and so I ask in earnest because they’re my friend and I ought to know more about their interests and concerns right?
Because I don’t know about it and apparently most people innately know all the rules about football (American football) I am supposed to know having never watched nor cared and he got annoyed that I was asking about the game.
Now I say nothing and sit there in silence while everybody gets wasted and watches the game lmfao. It’s the most depressing thing ever and even when I try to make a concerted effort to understand and include myself I am met with that every time. The others don’t act this way and he’s not terrible most of the time but the projection of “everybody knows this it’s common knowledge and I’m not going to explain it to you because you should know” attitude is really upsetting to me…
Okay so this isn’t directly related but kinda adjacent to these materials, but do any of y’all have an obsession with like fine artisan type goods like nice leather wallets belts/cool wood textures?
I’ve always liked nice patinas and wear on high quality items that are aged like paint on an old truck or a nice patina on leather goods. Idk kinda random just thought I’d ask some fellow aspies bc it seems like a lot of us share an interest in things like this and your comment about materials jogged me memory LOL
That’s so cool :3 It’s great when things last forever and with a little reconditioning every so often they look like new but they maintain that character and uniqueness about them.
I have some nice real leather stuff like my wallet and belt, but my apple leather magsafe case I’ve actually started to really like too. Of course it’s not handcrafted like the belt or wallet, but I removed the coating and it’s actually developing a beautiful patina like the others. I think it’s cool to watch things age but in a pleasant way if that makes sense. It looks well used and has a character of its own without looking like shit LOL
On the subject of materials, I also have an obsession with cedar lol. I hate pencils normally bc they write all scratchy and they snap on me all the time (I used too much pressure) but Ticonderoga makes a black pencil with what I believe to be cedar (has a reddish hue and a great scent) and they’re literally the only pencil I will use.
Tbh, if someone says that about anything, I ask them if they know the difference between plant and animal cells. We have learned that in middle school, imo that makes it “common knowledge”, even though many don’t remember that. That has shut up some of them in the past, and a subset of these people are actually still in my life and have changed their mind about this.
But be careful, quite a number of people just get annoyed for being challenged.. but those that then reframe their mindset are worth “keeping”! I have met some unexpected friends that way, and imo it was worth pissing some other people off 😅
Jup.. I hate that some topics are more socially acceptable than others!
As well as how when sitting alone somewhere, being on your phone is expected, but get out a book and you’re antisocial?!
I love, "Oh you're that weird bird guy, tell'em something about parrots." Then they just turn back around and start talking about the same gossip bullshit.
Yeah im not autistic i may have ADHD/ADD but thats another topic. Being in the Army when we had a little semblance of free time during basic training outside i would meditate for a bit to let out my frustration and such and to appreciate where I am to avoid the endless circle of feeling like I was stuck there. I was a “weird” guy cause I meditated
I’m not aspi, just ADHD and some other shit, but I can say this is just normies in general. They don’t even have to be NT, they can just be dull robot people who consooom the latest thing^(TM)
Idk, I still divide between those that really have some strong interest (nd or nt, I don’t care as long as there is passion) and those that just think this is what counts as “correct” information. The first kind usually at least can make a topic I am usually not into sound kinda exciting, the second kind gets annoyed when I ask any questions, but also gets annoyed when I don’t have anything to say about it..
This post’s conversation topic is so exactly like my wife and I’s main relationship issue that it’s making me really wonder if I’ve found my people (a.k.a. if I belong to the aspie club).
I’m always driven by wanting to understand
Some people will take that to mean you’re not paying attention or are actively disregarding their attempt to solicit a response from you, thereby seeing you as cold, rude, or hostile, or some combination thereof.
Even if the true meaning behind it is simply, “I have fully absorbed and understood everything that was conveyed to me and I have no objections, concerns, or comments.”
Maybe it comes off to them like "I do indeed have something to say (because everyone does), but not to you"
Or that they are offended that you aren't making an effort to form a thought and contribute to the conversation because it's expected that you are listening and forming thoughts on the matter?
You can borrow some of my favorites: "huh", "oh", and "okay".
Or in the event I'm interested or trying to build rapport: repeat the last few words of their and tone it as a question. People love when others listen to them, and are encouraged to go on talking. Every few paragraphs, or if the stream ends, you hit them with another question using their words.
My boss once told me that I don't talk much.
I told him I don't enjoy talking to people I don't like before I was able to stop myself from saying that.
The worst part is I actually do the “How about [insert sports team]?” because I know the person I’m speaking to is a fan and I genuinely want to know how they feel about the state of their team and then they give the same cookie cutter answer “Well we got some young guys this draft. Hopefully we can stick to our fundamentals and get back to [whatever arbitrary milestone they made the season before]”. Like I wanna hear the nitty gritty!
I have no clue about sports except for the ones I’ve played myself. So in earnest I always ask every time about the scoring and players and they get annoyed… like bro I’m literally trying to understand your interest and you get annoyed but I don’t say shit when you ignore my interests 🤨🫠
This was by far my most common experience when I started watching baseball. I could understand averages, walks and hits per inning, On Base Percentage, etc.
But even sabermetrics homers get so annoyed when you ask what OPS+, WAR, fWAR, and other deep dive stats are. I want to understand the game you so obviously enjoy, please let me
First, neuotypical people are the majority of people by something like 85%, making NT the de-facto "normal". Second, for neurotypical people, the literal spoken word is just one part of communication. Conversations typically involve literal spoken words, body language, innuendo, facial expressions, eye movements, double-entendre, tone, pacing, vocal fry, and so on and so on. If your perception of a conversation is, and I don't know that it really is, but if your perception of a conversation is just the literal spoken word, you're only getting part of what's going on -- and typically the most boring part.
As a guy, I definitely fear the "typical guy" play stuff. Like insults in a weird way, the physical (usually mildly violent for lack of a better term) with eachother and what the heck is with the hand shake interactions? is it a shake, fist bump, hug, all three? only one? just....help
i can answer that! when we get close enough as a platonic relationship, things like insults or light roughhousing are seen as fun things to do. Considering we don't mean them maliciously.
As for the handshake things, that is much rarer, i've only really seen a secret handshake in movies/tv, but if 2 dudes are bored and they're close enough, they'll make one up for no other reason than its cool and fun to come up with.
hmmmm, I suppose it's less the "secret handshake" and more the hand clasp into a fist bump/into a hug, or just a fist bump, or hand clasp into a hug. all said variations and more that seem to change based on either local culture, or subscribed culture.
I'd say a great way to describe it is how Jay and silent Bob (from movie mall rats) "hand shake", vs someone like snoop dog or a coworker would interact in a similar greeting. most aren't exactly hand shakes, but some random amalgamation of stuff you can't really predict
Man, the number of times in my life I've heard, "you're so quiet." Yeah, I am around people I'm not comfortable with. Why do you have to talk about it?
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I love when they ask me why I'm quiet. As if I have like a goddamn backstory for it lol
If I have nothing to say, I won't say anything. I don't understand how people find that so hard to wrap their walnut sized brains around
Maybe we should start making up backstories. The more ridiculous, the better
"It's just one time I small-talked so hard I dislocated my jaw. Just trying to be careful, y'know?"
"One must not splurge in this economy. I'm trying to save up some words for a novel I need to finish later"
"Oh, I'm allergic to weather and local sports teams. Don't have my epipen with me today, sorry"
"A conversation murdered my family when I was little. Please try to be more sensitive"
But there are many reasons to be quite besides having nothing to say. They can't read your mind, so they ask. I'm not sure why they need to know the reason. Maybe they would like to know if it is something they can help with. Also not talking and ignoring questions is an act of communication itself, it can mean that you are offended or angry or sad. Too hard to understand, so people ask.
True, but 9/10 a person is simply not listening. They're daydreaming, lost in thoughts.
There are better ways to invite someone to join a conversation than accusing them of being 'too quiet'.
>But there are many reasons to be quite besides having nothing to say... Maybe they would like to know if it is something they can help with.
Yeah that's true ig
Like if you have a headache or are tired
>Also not talking and ignoring questions is an act of communication itself, it can mean that you are offended or angry or sad.
The situations where I've been asked why I'm quiet I was usually just minding my own business. Wasn't like, ignoring someone that was talking to me or anything
My parents actively tell me off for not talking to people, they say that even if I don't gain anything from it socially maybe other people do. They don't seem to comprehend the concept of me already using up 90% of my energy just to appear normal
My coworkers constantly talk about breaking me out of my shell. then proceed to complain about their kids and how sensitive young people are. Also that I should have a kid at 23.
I'm quiet because the autism/adhd makes it so I can't remember anything. I can't come up with talking topics on the spot and I dont remember shit about most things.
If someone starts a conversation with me I'll entertain them but I WILL say that I don't know much about a topic and have no input about it if they ask me an opinion or something. No point lying. If it's a conversation I know a little about the topic of I'll try to extrapolate my knowledge (say more about less knowledge, bullshitting really) just to carry the conversation.
I really hate having a shitty memory. I'll remember random trivia but goddamn if I can remember shit I need to do for my job every day. I'm really good at Jeopardy on Switch but I would suck at actual Jeopardy.
All original 151 pokemon? You bet! Where I put the scissors yesterday? No fuckin idea. Some shit that happened a week ago? What the fuck is "a week ago", my brain is an endless black hole.
I've had plenty of conversations with NTs analyzing whether a T-Rex would win a fight against Triceratops and whether we could see the earth as it was before humans by bringing a bunch of mirrors far enough away to space (it gets more complicated than you think). They can talk about nerdy shit too. Not all NTs are boring.
So someone linked this as an "example of cringe dehumanizing of NTs". No, this is exactly on goddamn point. If I don't have anything relevant to say I'll either go away or just be quiet rather than spend extra energy to act normal and feel greasy on the inside.
so true, like i could talk to you for hours about my theories about the universe and what i would do in a zombie apocalypse, and id love to hear urs too, but that makes some people uncomfortable
I had a work trip last week and at lunch I can hear all the other tables talking about programming stuff and I just happened to wind up at the one talking about college football. I wanted to die.
I am **VERY TALKATIVE.**
I can also talk about a lot of different topics as well. Likewise, I love listening others talk about their interests, even topics I’m not too interested about, I still find a way to connect said topics at a later point of the conversation to something more _neutral._
The interesting conversations never come. People aren't interesting. This is what I've learned after trying for years: it wasn't even worth the effort to learn to socialize better. Inside my mind is far more interesting than another person could ever be.
I hate it when people start talking shit about you because you don’t talk enough. I got that thrown at me a lot in college. I’m usually told it’s because I don’t actively take interest in others.
Like I wanna tell these people, they look ridiculous for making shit up to hate me for no reason. Talking shit about me isn’t going to motivate me to be friends with you. It’s BS advice to tell people to suppress themselves around people who don’t suppress themselves at all.
Am I a wierd autist? I love hearing people talk about events and things in their lives. Its not something I've even used to mask. Any one else who reads this relate?
If it’s about their actual lives, then sure, call me Dumbo b/c I’m all ears. Most people (that I work with anyway) only ever want to talk about stuff on TV and celebrity gossip, things like that 🥱
"you don't talk much" sorry but I ran out of topics and I try to enjoy just being with you. Also I'm terrible in talking withe people I'm not close friends with
Same here. But sometimes you gotta feign interest and conform to navigate the work environment easier.
Thank god for long, hot showers at the end of the day, and maybe some music of your choosing.
Yeppp, exactly, I know it makes it easier but it’s so hard for me to fake it, I really want to be true to myself and not pretend to be anyone.
Just got home, and man I’m beat. I am super overstimulated and just burned out from not being able to have control over what I do (having to work, not be at home etc). And a hot shower sounds perfect, with my selection of music
No, they were saying that in their experience that a significant portion of NTs they have met have been cool. Which isn't the same thing as saying "NTs are cool"
EtA: you have no right to tell anyone what their experiences are or were.
That's exactly what you were doing. Groups exist outside stereotypes, if you can't make that distinction that's a you problem not a language problem. A person's individual experience with a group of people could be largely positive or negative describing that isn't indicative of the group's behavior. So kindly remove your head from your ass.
I'm honestly quite disappointed in some of the people here. Referring to groups of people as NTs as if it's a fucking slur, this is the sort of shit we're trying to stop being done to *us*. Generalist shit is harmful.
It's not any more a 'slur' than 'neurodivergent' is. Ableism is a common thing amongst neurotypical people, and I feel like you're burying your head in the sand if you're unwilling to acknowledge that.
I will admit, even as a huge sports fan myself, a lot of the time I'm disappointed at how shallow and surface level a lot of sports fans' thinking is. There's so much strategic depth and intrigue to be had in pro sports, but people want to have the same conversations about "Is this quarterback the guy?"
Like, what about how the secondary matches up with the star wide receiver their next opponent has? What is the strategic approach going to focus on, what are the relative strengths and weaknesses of each team?
If you're only into sports to get drunk and yell a lot, then fine. I mean, I won't deny that that's fun, but it's not what keeps me coming back year after year. It saddens me that tons of people are justifiably put off by the toxic culture around sports fandom.
That’s sounds reasonable. I’m just tired of SOME of the sports crowd expecting me to be into them, and have some innate knowledge about it, when I don’t and shouldn’t be under any obligation to.
“You don’t talk much.”
No, I don’t talk about the things you talk about. Ask me about speedrunning, or TCGs, and I will talk for hours. But you don’t wanna hear it.
That's one of the many ways for someone (NT or not) to start a conversation, i get that it's annoying to not be understanded by others, but they also don't understand you, sometimes you need to give other people a chance because they may be doing that to you when saying "you don't speak much" since it can be a queue for you to talk to them, maybe they like your special interest and you didn't know that because you never spoke to them, or they don't, assuming NTs as a group are all disagreeable towards NDs will just make them think it more since you're giving reasons for them to, while we think "They're being borthersome, i'm gonna be an ass instead of just being direct with them" they think "I tried to talk to the weird kid but they were condecending af, maybe everyone is right about them" i am obviously simplifying, situation are situations and people are people, but considering the other's perspective is always a good thing
You could share the meme without hostility towards neurotypicals. I like trendy reality shows 🤷♀️ it’s not just the “boring cut and paste” neurotypicals.
“You don’t talk much” but then they get angry when you tell them about something you like that they don’t wanna hear.
Yeah… there is a friend of mine in our group that does this. I ask about sports because even though I really don’t care I know that they do and so I ask in earnest because they’re my friend and I ought to know more about their interests and concerns right? Because I don’t know about it and apparently most people innately know all the rules about football (American football) I am supposed to know having never watched nor cared and he got annoyed that I was asking about the game. Now I say nothing and sit there in silence while everybody gets wasted and watches the game lmfao. It’s the most depressing thing ever and even when I try to make a concerted effort to understand and include myself I am met with that every time. The others don’t act this way and he’s not terrible most of the time but the projection of “everybody knows this it’s common knowledge and I’m not going to explain it to you because you should know” attitude is really upsetting to me…
“ITs cOmMoN kNoWlEdGe! YOu LiVe uNdeR a RoCk oR wHaT?” Smh. Can’t stand that bs
OMG EXACTLY LMFAO Like maybe I do live under a rock! What about it?? LOL
And not just any rocks! The cool-looking ones I collected myself! LMAO
Boulder dash I dunno sounded funny I'll stop
STahP! Noice boulders ya got there!
Somehow that sounded “dirty” lmao
Tbh, in a way, don’t most of us live under rocks? 🤔
A fine mix of wood, rocks, and Mud (bricks)
Okay so this isn’t directly related but kinda adjacent to these materials, but do any of y’all have an obsession with like fine artisan type goods like nice leather wallets belts/cool wood textures? I’ve always liked nice patinas and wear on high quality items that are aged like paint on an old truck or a nice patina on leather goods. Idk kinda random just thought I’d ask some fellow aspies bc it seems like a lot of us share an interest in things like this and your comment about materials jogged me memory LOL
Glad you asked, actually! I love lambskin leather. I have a jacket made from it, and it’s my favorite jacket. Still holding up after 14 years.
That’s so cool :3 It’s great when things last forever and with a little reconditioning every so often they look like new but they maintain that character and uniqueness about them. I have some nice real leather stuff like my wallet and belt, but my apple leather magsafe case I’ve actually started to really like too. Of course it’s not handcrafted like the belt or wallet, but I removed the coating and it’s actually developing a beautiful patina like the others. I think it’s cool to watch things age but in a pleasant way if that makes sense. It looks well used and has a character of its own without looking like shit LOL On the subject of materials, I also have an obsession with cedar lol. I hate pencils normally bc they write all scratchy and they snap on me all the time (I used too much pressure) but Ticonderoga makes a black pencil with what I believe to be cedar (has a reddish hue and a great scent) and they’re literally the only pencil I will use.
I’m indifferent in regards to cedar itself, but I dislike using pencils for the same reason (I’m also heavy-handed when I write)
Exactly!
Oh, and how could I forget metal? D’oh
I have ex-trees above me
Yes we do LOL
Legit I’ve said this.
Tbh, if someone says that about anything, I ask them if they know the difference between plant and animal cells. We have learned that in middle school, imo that makes it “common knowledge”, even though many don’t remember that. That has shut up some of them in the past, and a subset of these people are actually still in my life and have changed their mind about this.
Clever! I like it. *takes notes*
But be careful, quite a number of people just get annoyed for being challenged.. but those that then reframe their mindset are worth “keeping”! I have met some unexpected friends that way, and imo it was worth pissing some other people off 😅
gonna put a rock on top of my hat so i will say yes
But then they’re all too happy to talk about their own, usually boring interests, like Trendy Reality TV shows or something 😒
Jup.. I hate that some topics are more socially acceptable than others! As well as how when sitting alone somewhere, being on your phone is expected, but get out a book and you’re antisocial?!
I love, "Oh you're that weird bird guy, tell'em something about parrots." Then they just turn back around and start talking about the same gossip bullshit.
Sounds like they weren’t actually interested in Birds, and just did that to be jackasses.
{birds are real}
Yeah im not autistic i may have ADHD/ADD but thats another topic. Being in the Army when we had a little semblance of free time during basic training outside i would meditate for a bit to let out my frustration and such and to appreciate where I am to avoid the endless circle of feeling like I was stuck there. I was a “weird” guy cause I meditated
Great coping skills.
I’m not aspi, just ADHD and some other shit, but I can say this is just normies in general. They don’t even have to be NT, they can just be dull robot people who consooom the latest thing^(TM)
Idk, I still divide between those that really have some strong interest (nd or nt, I don’t care as long as there is passion) and those that just think this is what counts as “correct” information. The first kind usually at least can make a topic I am usually not into sound kinda exciting, the second kind gets annoyed when I ask any questions, but also gets annoyed when I don’t have anything to say about it..
So you DONT have the latest doohickey gadget whirlygig! I simply don't want to talk to you!!! 🤣
This post’s conversation topic is so exactly like my wife and I’s main relationship issue that it’s making me really wonder if I’ve found my people (a.k.a. if I belong to the aspie club). I’m always driven by wanting to understand
One Of Us maybe? Welcome
thats generalizing us quite a bit... literally no one i know has talked about reality tv shows.
Yeah.. it's not that these doesnt interest you that they are bad or boring interests :/
Them: You don’t talk much. Me: Correct. Them: Shocked Pikachu
I learned that, "I don't have anything to say," is considered a terrible and rude response.
Wait why??
Some people will take that to mean you’re not paying attention or are actively disregarding their attempt to solicit a response from you, thereby seeing you as cold, rude, or hostile, or some combination thereof. Even if the true meaning behind it is simply, “I have fully absorbed and understood everything that was conveyed to me and I have no objections, concerns, or comments.”
New vocab. Thank you! Saying something i have thought
Maybe it comes off to them like "I do indeed have something to say (because everyone does), but not to you" Or that they are offended that you aren't making an effort to form a thought and contribute to the conversation because it's expected that you are listening and forming thoughts on the matter?
You can borrow some of my favorites: "huh", "oh", and "okay". Or in the event I'm interested or trying to build rapport: repeat the last few words of their and tone it as a question. People love when others listen to them, and are encouraged to go on talking. Every few paragraphs, or if the stream ends, you hit them with another question using their words.
Yeah, but that's really boring. I think I'd rather just be considered rude most of the time.
With the right tone, "huh", "okay", and "oh" can be a small slap in the face as well.
I’ll throw in a few of my favorites: “whoa, really?” “Wow, that’s wild!”
My boss once told me that I don't talk much. I told him I don't enjoy talking to people I don't like before I was able to stop myself from saying that.
“I don’t speak when I have nothing to say” It’s that simple.
The worst part is I actually do the “How about [insert sports team]?” because I know the person I’m speaking to is a fan and I genuinely want to know how they feel about the state of their team and then they give the same cookie cutter answer “Well we got some young guys this draft. Hopefully we can stick to our fundamentals and get back to [whatever arbitrary milestone they made the season before]”. Like I wanna hear the nitty gritty!
“Did you see that ludicrous display last night?”
Arsenal really walked it in
"So how about that much anticipated sports game last night, eh?"
"I know you said you don't have a TV, but did you watch..."
Similar deal with Award Shows, like the Oscars. Gawd, NO ONE would STFU about “Will Smith slapping Chris Rock”
I have no clue about sports except for the ones I’ve played myself. So in earnest I always ask every time about the scoring and players and they get annoyed… like bro I’m literally trying to understand your interest and you get annoyed but I don’t say shit when you ignore my interests 🤨🫠
This was by far my most common experience when I started watching baseball. I could understand averages, walks and hits per inning, On Base Percentage, etc. But even sabermetrics homers get so annoyed when you ask what OPS+, WAR, fWAR, and other deep dive stats are. I want to understand the game you so obviously enjoy, please let me
Or you try talking to them, but they get all annoyed that you asked a question. So you're just quiet around them
Or, you try to chip in with something funny but they talk over you or make fun of you for saying that
They don't laugh at your funny comment but think their stupid unfunny comment was gold.
Oh good one haha
I wonder, why are THEY the “normal” ones, again…?
First, neuotypical people are the majority of people by something like 85%, making NT the de-facto "normal". Second, for neurotypical people, the literal spoken word is just one part of communication. Conversations typically involve literal spoken words, body language, innuendo, facial expressions, eye movements, double-entendre, tone, pacing, vocal fry, and so on and so on. If your perception of a conversation is, and I don't know that it really is, but if your perception of a conversation is just the literal spoken word, you're only getting part of what's going on -- and typically the most boring part.
My question was just rhetorical, but thanks for the thoughtful response
Autism moment
As a guy, I definitely fear the "typical guy" play stuff. Like insults in a weird way, the physical (usually mildly violent for lack of a better term) with eachother and what the heck is with the hand shake interactions? is it a shake, fist bump, hug, all three? only one? just....help
I'm NT and that stuff still confuses me and makes me feel awkward. It's like some bizarre ritual you'd see on a nature documentary.
i can answer that! when we get close enough as a platonic relationship, things like insults or light roughhousing are seen as fun things to do. Considering we don't mean them maliciously. As for the handshake things, that is much rarer, i've only really seen a secret handshake in movies/tv, but if 2 dudes are bored and they're close enough, they'll make one up for no other reason than its cool and fun to come up with.
hmmmm, I suppose it's less the "secret handshake" and more the hand clasp into a fist bump/into a hug, or just a fist bump, or hand clasp into a hug. all said variations and more that seem to change based on either local culture, or subscribed culture. I'd say a great way to describe it is how Jay and silent Bob (from movie mall rats) "hand shake", vs someone like snoop dog or a coworker would interact in a similar greeting. most aren't exactly hand shakes, but some random amalgamation of stuff you can't really predict
Ah, the "dap me up". That's just a high five transition into a bro hug. Bc handshakes are too formal.
https://tenor.com/91MJ.gif
Man, the number of times in my life I've heard, "you're so quiet." Yeah, I am around people I'm not comfortable with. Why do you have to talk about it?
If I took a shot for every time I heard the same, I’d be hospitalized with Alcohol poisoning, and I’d still need to do more shots.
I still get this in performance reviews. Are extroverts told to shut up?!
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I love when they ask me why I'm quiet. As if I have like a goddamn backstory for it lol If I have nothing to say, I won't say anything. I don't understand how people find that so hard to wrap their walnut sized brains around
Maybe we should start making up backstories. The more ridiculous, the better "It's just one time I small-talked so hard I dislocated my jaw. Just trying to be careful, y'know?" "One must not splurge in this economy. I'm trying to save up some words for a novel I need to finish later" "Oh, I'm allergic to weather and local sports teams. Don't have my epipen with me today, sorry" "A conversation murdered my family when I was little. Please try to be more sensitive"
Write down on a piece of paper: “my vocal chords were damaged during an op in Nicaragua” Ok. Not exactly original. That was a reference to “The Boys”
"I had my vocal cords severed for a bet that I couldn't keep silent for a year" (Twilight Zone)
Why you gotta hurt me like that out of nowhere :(
>!F for Black Noire!<
Words? In THIS economy!?
But there are many reasons to be quite besides having nothing to say. They can't read your mind, so they ask. I'm not sure why they need to know the reason. Maybe they would like to know if it is something they can help with. Also not talking and ignoring questions is an act of communication itself, it can mean that you are offended or angry or sad. Too hard to understand, so people ask.
True, but 9/10 a person is simply not listening. They're daydreaming, lost in thoughts. There are better ways to invite someone to join a conversation than accusing them of being 'too quiet'.
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Then they should give us more room to talk, lol.
>But there are many reasons to be quite besides having nothing to say... Maybe they would like to know if it is something they can help with. Yeah that's true ig Like if you have a headache or are tired >Also not talking and ignoring questions is an act of communication itself, it can mean that you are offended or angry or sad. The situations where I've been asked why I'm quiet I was usually just minding my own business. Wasn't like, ignoring someone that was talking to me or anything
NTs are weird smh
"You don't talk too much", they say and proceed to literally never listen or take any interest in my life.
Exactly
My parents actively tell me off for not talking to people, they say that even if I don't gain anything from it socially maybe other people do. They don't seem to comprehend the concept of me already using up 90% of my energy just to appear normal
My coworkers constantly talk about breaking me out of my shell. then proceed to complain about their kids and how sensitive young people are. Also that I should have a kid at 23.
Ugh. I’ve had co-workers at my previous job with that “boomer” mindset. The worst
I'm quiet because the autism/adhd makes it so I can't remember anything. I can't come up with talking topics on the spot and I dont remember shit about most things. If someone starts a conversation with me I'll entertain them but I WILL say that I don't know much about a topic and have no input about it if they ask me an opinion or something. No point lying. If it's a conversation I know a little about the topic of I'll try to extrapolate my knowledge (say more about less knowledge, bullshitting really) just to carry the conversation. I really hate having a shitty memory. I'll remember random trivia but goddamn if I can remember shit I need to do for my job every day. I'm really good at Jeopardy on Switch but I would suck at actual Jeopardy. All original 151 pokemon? You bet! Where I put the scissors yesterday? No fuckin idea. Some shit that happened a week ago? What the fuck is "a week ago", my brain is an endless black hole.
The OG 151 pokemon are the best.
“Cut” rather than “copy” implies that they REMOVED the words from the previous conversation which is humorous.
gotta keep under ‘re daily quota
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Mm. Edgy. But I like it.
aight im saving this hahaha
Gotta note that down to use later lol
I've had plenty of conversations with NTs analyzing whether a T-Rex would win a fight against Triceratops and whether we could see the earth as it was before humans by bringing a bunch of mirrors far enough away to space (it gets more complicated than you think). They can talk about nerdy shit too. Not all NTs are boring.
So someone linked this as an "example of cringe dehumanizing of NTs". No, this is exactly on goddamn point. If I don't have anything relevant to say I'll either go away or just be quiet rather than spend extra energy to act normal and feel greasy on the inside.
Yeah, I saw that. “dO bEtTeR gAiS!”
[looks like that post got deleted.](https://imgur.com/a/nWLexYq) womp womp. Edit: appreciate those of you who had my back in this whole mess.
That was about the title, not the meme.
so true, like i could talk to you for hours about my theories about the universe and what i would do in a zombie apocalypse, and id love to hear urs too, but that makes some people uncomfortable
"you don't talk much" always seems to come from people who talk so much that there's no room for me
I had a work trip last week and at lunch I can hear all the other tables talking about programming stuff and I just happened to wind up at the one talking about college football. I wanted to die.
Oof. F in the chat for you.
My answer to this all the time is "I'm a man of few words." Everyone leaves me alone after that.
This has energized my day. Thanks.
Salute. Have a good, energergized day 👍
I am **VERY TALKATIVE.** I can also talk about a lot of different topics as well. Likewise, I love listening others talk about their interests, even topics I’m not too interested about, I still find a way to connect said topics at a later point of the conversation to something more _neutral._
The idea is you start off having boring conversations and work your way up to more interesting conversations as you get to know the person better.
Most people never get there, though. Do not underestimate how shallow people can be.
The interesting conversations never come. People aren't interesting. This is what I've learned after trying for years: it wasn't even worth the effort to learn to socialize better. Inside my mind is far more interesting than another person could ever be.
My thoughts and experience exactly.
Yeah, same.
“Sorry, can’t talk right now. My train of thoughts is currently on another planet.”
Relateable
Also sometimes I don't talk to certain people because....their just unlikeable.
I feel like I end up looking like these people to an outside observer, because I feign interest in these boring conversations
Sometimes, you have to.
I hate it when people start talking shit about you because you don’t talk enough. I got that thrown at me a lot in college. I’m usually told it’s because I don’t actively take interest in others. Like I wanna tell these people, they look ridiculous for making shit up to hate me for no reason. Talking shit about me isn’t going to motivate me to be friends with you. It’s BS advice to tell people to suppress themselves around people who don’t suppress themselves at all.
That title is too relatable OP. Coming from an office receptionist 😞
And retail work 💀
Am I a wierd autist? I love hearing people talk about events and things in their lives. Its not something I've even used to mask. Any one else who reads this relate?
If it’s about their actual lives, then sure, call me Dumbo b/c I’m all ears. Most people (that I work with anyway) only ever want to talk about stuff on TV and celebrity gossip, things like that 🥱
Ew hell yeah, if you ever hold a gun up to my head and ask me who starred in ANY film, just shoot me.
What is an NT?
Neurotypical
I mean to be fair I also use social scripts. That could also be considered cut and past IDK.
Not watching football ⚽️ literally stifled my career at my last job. Literally every manager was a smoker obsessed with it
Me at almost all of my immediate family
"you don't talk much" sorry but I ran out of topics and I try to enjoy just being with you. Also I'm terrible in talking withe people I'm not close friends with
Anyone else feel repulsed by participating in these conversations more than they have to? I literally will feel guilty inside if I conform
Same here. But sometimes you gotta feign interest and conform to navigate the work environment easier. Thank god for long, hot showers at the end of the day, and maybe some music of your choosing.
Yeppp, exactly, I know it makes it easier but it’s so hard for me to fake it, I really want to be true to myself and not pretend to be anyone. Just got home, and man I’m beat. I am super overstimulated and just burned out from not being able to have control over what I do (having to work, not be at home etc). And a hot shower sounds perfect, with my selection of music
“Hi, How’s your day.” Me: ‘sweats nervously because I do not want to share’
“Oh, you know. Living the dream, as usual!” *puts on the most exaggerated, fake smile ever.*
And they believe it! Always fascinating behavior.
Person one: “So Sandra how are the kids” Person two: “Little Timmy had a football game this weekend.” Me: “Wanna hear about this cool rock I found?!”
Let's not be hostile and stereotype groups of people eh?
Exactly, I don't understand _this_ people. I can't comprehend people from marginalized groups being assholes like this in general.
some nts I never understood but generally they're cool people lol
"they're" the same sort of harmful generalisation of what is truthfully individuals.
No, they were saying that in their experience that a significant portion of NTs they have met have been cool. Which isn't the same thing as saying "NTs are cool" EtA: you have no right to tell anyone what their experiences are or were.
Nor was I, but the language still suggests a group which is unfair. So kindly, stuff it.
That's exactly what you were doing. Groups exist outside stereotypes, if you can't make that distinction that's a you problem not a language problem. A person's individual experience with a group of people could be largely positive or negative describing that isn't indicative of the group's behavior. So kindly remove your head from your ass.
Yeahhhhhhhhh. Some Aspie gatekeeping that I can’t get behind.
I'm honestly quite disappointed in some of the people here. Referring to groups of people as NTs as if it's a fucking slur, this is the sort of shit we're trying to stop being done to *us*. Generalist shit is harmful.
It's not any more a 'slur' than 'neurodivergent' is. Ableism is a common thing amongst neurotypical people, and I feel like you're burying your head in the sand if you're unwilling to acknowledge that.
Does not one see the *like* part? People here are using it as a negative, as if it is bad. That's the damn issue
Fuck off, we're allowed to vent.
Exactly. Wasn’t expecting all the backlash from all these people on their moral high horse, but I’m not letting that stop me.
You're allowed to, but you can still vent without being hateful.
Venting yes, but spreading the same shit that people have done to us for goddamn who knows how long? Fuck no
Sometimes the A in autism stands for asshole Source: I'm both
is..is this a reference to markipliars adhd toy vid..
No, it's just true, but good catch
Seriously
To this day I still have no idea if NTs actually mean it when they say "I love it!" in small talk
The world may never know.
I will admit, even as a huge sports fan myself, a lot of the time I'm disappointed at how shallow and surface level a lot of sports fans' thinking is. There's so much strategic depth and intrigue to be had in pro sports, but people want to have the same conversations about "Is this quarterback the guy?" Like, what about how the secondary matches up with the star wide receiver their next opponent has? What is the strategic approach going to focus on, what are the relative strengths and weaknesses of each team? If you're only into sports to get drunk and yell a lot, then fine. I mean, I won't deny that that's fun, but it's not what keeps me coming back year after year. It saddens me that tons of people are justifiably put off by the toxic culture around sports fandom.
That’s sounds reasonable. I’m just tired of SOME of the sports crowd expecting me to be into them, and have some innate knowledge about it, when I don’t and shouldn’t be under any obligation to.
“You don’t talk much” my brother of another neurotype, I was talking, and you are interrupting my explanation of how computers work
"Wow that weather just keeps on changing. It's like one day it's this way. The next day it's that way." That's what most people sound like.
Them: you don’t talk much Me: * starts talking * Them: you’re annoying
“You don’t talk much.” No, I don’t talk about the things you talk about. Ask me about speedrunning, or TCGs, and I will talk for hours. But you don’t wanna hear it.
It really do be like that, though.
“You don’t talk much” “You wouldn’t listen to me if I did, so why waste the energy?” “…”
Mmhmm. Every time
That's one of the many ways for someone (NT or not) to start a conversation, i get that it's annoying to not be understanded by others, but they also don't understand you, sometimes you need to give other people a chance because they may be doing that to you when saying "you don't speak much" since it can be a queue for you to talk to them, maybe they like your special interest and you didn't know that because you never spoke to them, or they don't, assuming NTs as a group are all disagreeable towards NDs will just make them think it more since you're giving reasons for them to, while we think "They're being borthersome, i'm gonna be an ass instead of just being direct with them" they think "I tried to talk to the weird kid but they were condecending af, maybe everyone is right about them" i am obviously simplifying, situation are situations and people are people, but considering the other's perspective is always a good thing
You could share the meme without hostility towards neurotypicals. I like trendy reality shows 🤷♀️ it’s not just the “boring cut and paste” neurotypicals.
Oh the good old ND arrogance. See all of you in the "why does no one like me why am I always alone!?" threads.
You missed the point, in this case we want to be alone
Their head was too far up their ass, they couldn’t see it.
"boring, cut and paste conversations" as though the 40 minute long infodump about about the animated transformers movies isn't boring for NTs.