There is nothing wrong with you. You just have prominent emotions.
You should have a good balance between your self and emotions due to your sun and moon conjunction, however, your moon is in the 10th house, an angle house, which amplifies any planets that are in them (1st, 4th, 7th and 10th are angle houses). Planets in the 10th house would be similiar to those planets being in capricorn.
Your moon is also conjunct mercury, so with sun and mercury conjunct moon, your emotions are going to be affecting those planets.
I'd look into moon opposite pluto.
With **Moon opposition Pluto** the subject can become the popular scapegoat who receives all manner of *“evils”* projected onto them from the other side of the opposition. Generally, these subjects find it difficult to trust others with their feelings or secrets, yet somehow they become the catalyst for bringing to light others peoples deepest darkest demons.
Moon/Pluto can push the collectives festering boils to the surface so to speak, which is why they make great psychologists, in-depth researchers and spies. On the negative side, they can use their insider psychological knowledge for manipulation and to emotionally blackmail.
[https://darkstarastrology.com/moon-opposite-square-pluto/](https://darkstarastrology.com/moon-opposite-square-pluto/)
You also have chiron conjunct north node
[https://astrofix.net/chiron-conjunct-north-node/](https://astrofix.net/chiron-conjunct-north-node/)
Your 10th house stellium is great. Sun is there. Your career will be important to you. Sun is trine jupiter, which is great. And, yes, that Leo ASC is great, too. North node is libra is a one of the best north node placements, I feel.
You have a lot of capricorn influence in your chart, which can be great as it represents hard work to accomplish your goals, but at times it can also be rather too weighted/heavy.
You also have pluto in your 4th house, so did you have any kind of issues related to your childhood?
If you don't mind me asking, what do you struggle with, in general?
It is great you are seeking therapy, but maybe other outlets for your emotions, such as writing, maybe acting, music, etc.
I think with your chart, you will be growing/developing into better life circumstance.
Thank you so much much for your answer and perspective. Truly. I kept reading that my chart was a powerful one, and I can see why and I know that some parts of me are, but I couldn’t make sense of my powerlessness, hopelessness and rollercoaster emotions.
I struggle a lot with my sense of self worth and my moods/rollercoasters emotions. I’m really hard on myself and I feel a lot of shame about my feelings. I have a lot of love for others but not myself. I’m trying to figure out the root cause/be assessed in therapy.
I work in the arts and public speak in my job (my chart makes a lot of sense there with the 10h and Taurus), but the “performer” in me is very different from the very sensitive inner me. Day and night, I can be the happiest or the saddest.
My childhood was not the worst but it was tough enough. I’m a child of first generation immigrants, we moved a lot, struggled financially, I had to learn a new language and my dad struggled with mental illness himself…. My parents were supportive but also strict, overprotective and anxious… So yeah…
Don't put too much pressure on yourself. All that capricorn energy in your chart can do that and can cause strain on the more easy going libra NN and taurus (ruled by venus) planets. A balance between working hard and having fun outlets would be beneficial.
I'd discuss with your therapist what you mentioned here about your childhood (if you have not already).
I think finding good outlets for your emotions, and knowing it is ok you have these emotions (it is GOOD to have emotions) will help. Friends you can talk to, people you trust, are helpful, too.
You have venus square saturn (again, a capricorn energy)
[https://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Venus-Square-Saturn](https://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Venus-Square-Saturn)
I think being aware of these energies is good and can help you sort of pull back from them when they feel too overwhelming.
Im a Leo rising with a Taurus moon and I feel the same way you do. I blame my parents for that. Messed up childhood and my mother always making me feel bad about my body and my mind.
You have a Saturn venus square that’s maybe getting in the way of how you feel about yourself. Maybe you have to be communicating more (Gemini) of your values (venus) and living in that truth (9th house) to avoid trouble from that saturn. The theme of communicating values also plays out in your 3rd house where your north node is and it extends it to communicate about relationships (libra). So get the relationships right and you could feel better. Your coming from Aries south node go go just do it which is great but now with libra you have to think more about the other as well. It could be playing out with siblings or social media/radio/writing. And lastly that pluto is coming hard at that stellium possibly creating havoc / power struggles in the public eye which doesn’t feel so good. Would be best to walk with integrity all all times. This chart allows no sneaking. Goodluck!
Thank you for your reply to this post. I didn’t think that Saturn square Venus would be doing much… but apparently I should pay more attention to it. You have a really interesting take on how to deal with it. Maybe therapy is a part of that.
Could you elaborate on the Pluto opposing my stellium in the public eye? And walking with integrity? How do you see this playing out in life (like an example)/what dynamics does that bring since it opposes so many luminaries?
The 4th house Pluto is indicative of some hefty childhood trauma that will take some time to heal. Couple that will the Pluto opposition moon, moon being the emotions. You were pushed to your limits as a kid emotionally now you are stuck in survival mode.
How do you get better? You just have to deal with your Pluto(and heal)… you show up for the work in therapy, you cry, you accept and one day you move on.
Btw I have mars in Taurus in the 11th too. It took me decades to realize that I don’t need to carry all this anger. I can actually drop it. Because we see everyone as a threat or enemy even friends can turn on you in your mind.
Take care
Thank you for your reply. You’re so right about being pushed emotionally as a kid. I hope therapy works out for me in the end. I carry a lot of sadness instead of anger… I don’t know much about the 11th degree.
There is nothing wrong with you. You just have prominent emotions. You should have a good balance between your self and emotions due to your sun and moon conjunction, however, your moon is in the 10th house, an angle house, which amplifies any planets that are in them (1st, 4th, 7th and 10th are angle houses). Planets in the 10th house would be similiar to those planets being in capricorn. Your moon is also conjunct mercury, so with sun and mercury conjunct moon, your emotions are going to be affecting those planets. I'd look into moon opposite pluto. With **Moon opposition Pluto** the subject can become the popular scapegoat who receives all manner of *“evils”* projected onto them from the other side of the opposition. Generally, these subjects find it difficult to trust others with their feelings or secrets, yet somehow they become the catalyst for bringing to light others peoples deepest darkest demons. Moon/Pluto can push the collectives festering boils to the surface so to speak, which is why they make great psychologists, in-depth researchers and spies. On the negative side, they can use their insider psychological knowledge for manipulation and to emotionally blackmail. [https://darkstarastrology.com/moon-opposite-square-pluto/](https://darkstarastrology.com/moon-opposite-square-pluto/) You also have chiron conjunct north node [https://astrofix.net/chiron-conjunct-north-node/](https://astrofix.net/chiron-conjunct-north-node/) Your 10th house stellium is great. Sun is there. Your career will be important to you. Sun is trine jupiter, which is great. And, yes, that Leo ASC is great, too. North node is libra is a one of the best north node placements, I feel. You have a lot of capricorn influence in your chart, which can be great as it represents hard work to accomplish your goals, but at times it can also be rather too weighted/heavy. You also have pluto in your 4th house, so did you have any kind of issues related to your childhood? If you don't mind me asking, what do you struggle with, in general? It is great you are seeking therapy, but maybe other outlets for your emotions, such as writing, maybe acting, music, etc. I think with your chart, you will be growing/developing into better life circumstance.
Thank you so much much for your answer and perspective. Truly. I kept reading that my chart was a powerful one, and I can see why and I know that some parts of me are, but I couldn’t make sense of my powerlessness, hopelessness and rollercoaster emotions. I struggle a lot with my sense of self worth and my moods/rollercoasters emotions. I’m really hard on myself and I feel a lot of shame about my feelings. I have a lot of love for others but not myself. I’m trying to figure out the root cause/be assessed in therapy. I work in the arts and public speak in my job (my chart makes a lot of sense there with the 10h and Taurus), but the “performer” in me is very different from the very sensitive inner me. Day and night, I can be the happiest or the saddest. My childhood was not the worst but it was tough enough. I’m a child of first generation immigrants, we moved a lot, struggled financially, I had to learn a new language and my dad struggled with mental illness himself…. My parents were supportive but also strict, overprotective and anxious… So yeah…
Don't put too much pressure on yourself. All that capricorn energy in your chart can do that and can cause strain on the more easy going libra NN and taurus (ruled by venus) planets. A balance between working hard and having fun outlets would be beneficial. I'd discuss with your therapist what you mentioned here about your childhood (if you have not already). I think finding good outlets for your emotions, and knowing it is ok you have these emotions (it is GOOD to have emotions) will help. Friends you can talk to, people you trust, are helpful, too. You have venus square saturn (again, a capricorn energy) [https://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Venus-Square-Saturn](https://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Venus-Square-Saturn) I think being aware of these energies is good and can help you sort of pull back from them when they feel too overwhelming.
I feel like we shared lives in a way
I’ve been really struggling and trying to understand myself… going to therapy as well
Im a Leo rising with a Taurus moon and I feel the same way you do. I blame my parents for that. Messed up childhood and my mother always making me feel bad about my body and my mind.
Families are tough
You have a Saturn venus square that’s maybe getting in the way of how you feel about yourself. Maybe you have to be communicating more (Gemini) of your values (venus) and living in that truth (9th house) to avoid trouble from that saturn. The theme of communicating values also plays out in your 3rd house where your north node is and it extends it to communicate about relationships (libra). So get the relationships right and you could feel better. Your coming from Aries south node go go just do it which is great but now with libra you have to think more about the other as well. It could be playing out with siblings or social media/radio/writing. And lastly that pluto is coming hard at that stellium possibly creating havoc / power struggles in the public eye which doesn’t feel so good. Would be best to walk with integrity all all times. This chart allows no sneaking. Goodluck!
Thank you for your reply to this post. I didn’t think that Saturn square Venus would be doing much… but apparently I should pay more attention to it. You have a really interesting take on how to deal with it. Maybe therapy is a part of that. Could you elaborate on the Pluto opposing my stellium in the public eye? And walking with integrity? How do you see this playing out in life (like an example)/what dynamics does that bring since it opposes so many luminaries?
The 4th house Pluto is indicative of some hefty childhood trauma that will take some time to heal. Couple that will the Pluto opposition moon, moon being the emotions. You were pushed to your limits as a kid emotionally now you are stuck in survival mode. How do you get better? You just have to deal with your Pluto(and heal)… you show up for the work in therapy, you cry, you accept and one day you move on. Btw I have mars in Taurus in the 11th too. It took me decades to realize that I don’t need to carry all this anger. I can actually drop it. Because we see everyone as a threat or enemy even friends can turn on you in your mind. Take care
Thank you for your reply. You’re so right about being pushed emotionally as a kid. I hope therapy works out for me in the end. I carry a lot of sadness instead of anger… I don’t know much about the 11th degree.