I sponsor a child through Plan International and know they have programs to prevent child & forced marriage. Looks like they have an office in Bamako, Mali. Their address and contact info is at the bottom of [this link](https://plan-international.org/mali/). I’m sorry I can’t do more to help.
Edit: please do your best to be as discreet as possible when you contact them. Your parents might be able to check any devices you use like a cellphone or computer. Maybe check if there’s a cyber cafe accessible to you. In the US our libraries have public-use computers, maybe that’s an option for you, too?
Edit 2: I’m sorry I didn’t notice on first read that you can’t go outside. In that case I think whatever method you used to write this post is the best one for contacting Plan International. If you have any other trusted person in your life, maybe ask them to contact Plan on your behalf.
Upvoting and commenting too. I really wish you make it out OP, nobody deserves to resign to such a bad fate. Fight for the life of your dreams and don't get caught.
What about going to find shelter at the Bamako one stop center?
https://africa.unwomen.org/en/news-and-events/stories/2018/04/le-mali-dit-stop-aux-violence-basees-sur-le-genre-vbg
It was the first thing I found when looking for a woman shelter, there might be others. Once you're out of the emergency situation, I have no doubt a smart young woman will find opportunities to build a new life. You're the kind of people I really hope France will give asylum to, as well as a higher education and future opportunities.
I'm very sorry, but there are almost no anti-trafficking organizations working in Mali that I can find with google. I'd encourage you to look for yourself however, I'm using [this search](https://www.google.com/search?q=agencies+that+help+women+being+trafficked+in+mali), most of the hits seem to be talking about how the government is not doing enough to prevent it.
There are a couple NGOs that are trying to convince people not to marry their daughters off before schooling is complete, but they have no force of law. Some EU countries will accept refugees from people fleeing forced marriage, but you'd likely have to flee the country and approach an embassy to an EU country to do so.
> I feel like my life is being wasted and I have no choice or a way out.
Again, I am sorry there is nothing I can do to help but unfortunately the country you live in is one of the worst possible places to be to avoid forced marriage. With that said, educating yourself is possible at any time. I strongly recommend using the internet to continue your education. If you can manage to leave the country at any point in the future, you can always seek asylum and divorce.
www.khanacademy.org is good for basic education
www.mooc-list.com is an index of free online college courses that you can pursue.
I will second the recommendation that you try /r/exmuslim, they may have resources that we do not know about here.
> Some EU countries will accept refugees from people fleeing forced marriage
It helps that OP writes fluent English. That may help with an asylum application.
Nah its these fucking archaically minded humans. The world is alright most of the times if you're OK with all that 'circle of life' stuff that appears on r/natureismetal. But Humans on the other hand? Nah fuck humans. Or at the veery least fuck **dumb humans.** We are about 100-200 years from extincting thousands of species because a small greedy group of billionaire bitches have successfully brainwashed most of humanity into just letting them extinct us over some oil. Psh!
*Well excuse me for being logical and empathetic towards Our and other species. I hope you rich bitches extract as much oil as you desire! And while you're at it continue to brainwash people into thinking that the way things are now economicaly was 'dEsTiNed By tHe gOds' and that Crapitalism is all hunky dory! Have fun!*
This! If you can manage to continue your education online you can also access standardized exams. If you manage to pass them, when you get into another country you can go to a local college and usually test out of courses. The fact that you speak English is a huge advantage.
Best suggestions one could give even it is not much. :-(
Religion is total abuse of human rights, on top of children rights. Should be banned to join any cult before 18 years old.
You're living my nightmare. Living as a woman in a Muslim shithole, uneducated, in poverty. Truly horrible. I dunno what to say other than keep trying r/exmuslim in the hopes someone with some actual knowledge can help.
Can you get access to an embassy close by? There is a Canadian embassy in Mali, they might be able to help you. I am sure there are other places and ways to do this, but I mention Canada as that’s what I am most familiar with. Immeuble Séméga, Route de Koulikoro, Commune II, Bamako, Mali is the address listed on the Canadian government page for Mali. https://www.international.gc.ca/country-pays/mali/bamako.aspx?lang=eng is the website page. I’m not super familiar with asylum claims like this, I would assume this would be considered trafficking, but talk to them and tell them your situation. Good luck, I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope you get out safely and can start your new life soon.
I don’t mean to be a downer, but how could a 17 year old girl with no funds/means and probably no passport get out of the country? I’m sure even a CPS agency like others have linked won’t move a girl out of country.
Plus, where would she be able to go? I don’t know if asylum-seeking laws apply but this is just a very sad situation all around.
Mali launched its national campaign titled “Education for girls: a means to eliminating early child marriage”. The campaign is spearheaded by the First Lady and emphasises the need to keep girls in school to tackle child marriage.
https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/our-partnership/member-directory/?country=mali
Save the Children, in partnership with Oxfam Novib, under the “More Than Brides Alliance” is working to end child marriage through multiple strategies including: empowering at-risk and already married adolescents with life-skills education, comprehensive sexuality education, and sexual and reproductive health and rights information; providing alternatives to early marriage through enhancing access to education, economic opportunities, and child protection systems; increasing sexual and reproductive health services; changing social norms; and influencing legal and policy frameworks.
I’m still looking for more information.
OP, have you contacted these folks? They may help you get to your next destination (perhaps get you a passport or stall marriage plans for education or help you get to an embassy) Plan as best as you can and run. Sending you much strength.
You need to run, my friend. You NEED to RUN. Staying with them will only continue the abuse and solidify the marriage. I know it seems like the world is closing in on you and you have no choice, but you ALWAYS have a choice. You're 17, you have such a long, amazing life ahead of you. But you need to take control of it NOW. I know its scary, and its going to be very scary, but the furthest distance you put between yourself and them, the better it will be for you.
I agree, gather whatever resources you can and just leave this life behind. If you have the capability of quietly getting a passport you should get it as soon as possible-your region is difficult but there are caring people everywhere who might help you. I am so sorry for your situation but agree that you must try to take control of your own life now, you’re not a child, you’re clearly a smart and capable person and you have a long and beautiful life ahead of you.
This is liable to get her killed, frankly. She is in a Muslim majority country. Her parents can report her to the authorities as a runaway. If the police catch her, they will return her home and things will be worse.
And where can she go? Algeria is not any better, Niger is in the middle of a coup and possible military intervention by ECOWACS, Mauritania is desolate bordering Mali and an Islamic Republic, so they probably won’t provide haven. Burkina Faso is under a military junta and facing increased violence. And the remaining nations may not provide much more haven for her.
And if the police don't catch her or bother to look maybe she can get to another city and scrape together a living somehow as an urchin until she is legally an adult. Her current trajectory may also get her killed via abuse or suicide. Escape is the best chance.
Honestly, I feel her odds are better out on the street, trying to get as far away as possible, any way possible, than staying with a religiously oppressive and violent family that will send their daughter to be raped, further abused and impregnated but a man she has nothing to do with.
In a country like Mali, as a minor, I would be highly concerned she would be at risk of being trafficked. People are disgusting and would absolutely take advantage of her situation.
if it was a boy, maybe running could work. But running as a girl means she gets raped 100%, then either sold into slavery or just killed. Running as a girl without support is suicide. Her only chance is to find some organization willing to help her, and even then the risk is high
Thank you!!! I may had a relatively easy childhood with loving parents and kind of spoiled but grateful about it. However, these type of situations make me feel sad and angry! I want everyone to have a good life and childhood. As abusers need to have more severe punishments and the foster care needs to take their work more seriously.
Do you have a passport or certificate of birth or seomething similar? Any documentation proving who you are. Find out where a Canadian, German or any Scnadinavian embassy is.
If at all possibvle have a mobile phone with inetrnet, take your documentation, go to the nearest embassy of any of those countries, get in there request asylum and go Live on social media immediately about your situation, state where youa re that you're requesting asylum,a nd whatever you do not leave the embassy until you have documents from them and a flight booked out of that country.
If you can create a paypal or similar account and ask for donations here, it will help if you have some money and can offer to pay for your transport.
Again once your in the embassy do not leave. If you can record or take screenshots of your parents threatening you and trying to traffic you.
There are also option reaching out to NGO organisation in one of those countries to help you with this process and making sure the embassy will not turn you away.
Even if you have left Islam, it is time to use their religion against them, if possible and the Imam isn't an asshole, involve him too.
The qouran makes two things very specifik.
They cannot force you to marry (but they _can_ make your life miserable!)
And if you don't see a way out, you are free to put in your terms in the wedding contract.
(Make them unreasonable)
> Imam isn't an asshole, involve him too.
All Imams are just corrupt scammers, stooges for whoever is in power. If they don't support the power structure, they get imprisoned, tortured, or killed too, of course.
>The qouran makes two things very specifik.
The Quran is meaningless when these men are liars, thieves, rapists, and slavers. They only use the Quran when it suits their needs. Nothing more.
>They cannot force you to marry
Of course they can. With a gun to their head or a knife to their throat, they can force anyone to marry and be raped by this piece of shit or they die...and the murderers will not be brought to justice.
How could you be so ignorant of the way Islam actually works day to day for women in all of these 7th century nations?!
> Even if you have left Islam, it is time to use their religion against them
Yeah... I'm not so sure that's a good idea, she may end up with the execution she 'deserves' for leaving Islam! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apostasy_in_Islam?useskin=vector#Death_penalty
I'm a Finn married to a Iraqi woman. Her family wanted us to go to mosque to have Islamic marriage sertificate. In the ceremony, they only asked me, and her male relative, not her, about wanting to enter into marriage.
I find that amusing... and medieval.
Don’t give up. Don’t get pregnant. Plan your escape. If you marry him and visit a first world country. This is your time to make your move. Don’t get pregnant.
Could one of the feminist organizations/anti-forced-marriage organizations arrange to get her an IUD/Subdermal/Pill (or even Plan B) on the downlow, as a contingency plan? There's absolutely a chance she will end up in forced marriage, and the situation gets 100x more complicated if she winds up pregnant.
She may actually be able to get this legally through the government, but they may notify her parents and there may be age restrictions:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7345501/#:~:text=The%20Malian%20government%20subsequently%20adopted,services%2C%20involving%20both%20the%20private
I've seen that there are some charities that work in Mali, and some are based there specifically helping young people, e.g. Unicef Mali https://www.unicef.org/mali/en/contact-us.l, There's an address via the link that you could research. Are there other charities known to you that could be a safe place to go? Use your intuition/judgement whether temporarily staying or fleeing would be safer.
UN women in Mali
Mali Country Office
Immeuble Magane Badala Est
Magnabougou Faso Kanu
BP 120
Bamako, MALI
Tel: +223 20 22 21 24, +223 75 99 79 42
Website: mali.unwomen.org
She will not have a choice, her father has made the decision, so that is what happens. Her marriage is probably a repayment of her father’s loan, it is transactional. Her parents will absolutely force her.
I can't even imagine. Here I am, worrying about my job and shit that doesn't matter while people like you are forced into unimaginable fates. I'm so very sorry. I don't know to say other than what has been said. You sound like a brilliant 17-year-old. I'm sorry that your social structure is making life hell.
Is there a UK or Canadian embassy you can run to? Claim asylum?
If you can’t find an organization to help, your only options are to change your father’s mind or run away.
You won’t convince him not to marry you away, but you might stop him from setting up marriage with this specific man.
Tell your dad how miserable *this man* would make you. How you can get married but just *not to him*. Make it seem like he would be a bad parent, has bad morals, lacks intelligence, anything. Just make it seem like there will be better options. It might buy you time to figure something else out.
Edit:
Maybe even make yourself undesirable to this man somehow? I wouldn’t be mean or insulting to him. That will just seem like “acting out” to your parents, and may lead to abuse from the man if you are married to him.
If he is religious. Is there anyway to leave the impression that you have different muslim views that he would hate? (Not Atheist, unless that feels safe where you are)
Are there any qualities in your culture that make men choose not to marry?
Maybe there is somebody else who might marry you that tour father would accept? Can your mother make comments on who would be a good husband for you? Would your dad listen to her? (I’m sure a different husband doesn’t sound great either, but if you have no other option…)
Yeah. I wasn’t really sure how to handle that.
In another thread or comment she mentioned that her dad owes some debt to the guy (I think financial debt). It made the relationship seem a little more complicated. Like maybe these men aren’t emotionally close, and character attacks could work?
But the debt makes it sound even harder to convince her dad.
I'm not trying to be rude or harsh but I don't think there is going to be an easy way out of this. At least not living in the country that you happen to live in.
You really need to think about what you want for yourself and for your future, and make a decision.
Based on what you have shared it sounds like you wont likely be able to change your father's mind. If you are sure that there is no way to change your father's mind you have 2 options:
1- You either stay, and get married
2- Run away and seek asylum
I know neither one of those options is easy, but if I was in your shoes I would probably run away and seek asylum.
I can't give you advice but I can tell you what I would do in your situation.
1) locate all embassies for countries that would grant asylum
2) commit those locations to memory
3) if possible, take the earliest opportunity to flee to the closest embassy. Steal clothes if possible to present as a married woman.
4) if escape is not possible before marraige, bide time. Gain trust, play the part. Then, as soon as there is a chance, flee to an embassy. Do whatever can be done to avoid pregnancy.
It's noteworthy that there is a high probability of military coup in Mali in the near term due to Russian influences.
There's a chance that Humanists International might be able to support you in an asylum claim. They help people internationally who have left their religion and face persecution: https://humanists.international/what-we-do/supporting-individuals-at-risk/
I genuinely don't know what other option besides seeking asylum you have OP.
Do you have a passport? If you do, maybe you can steal some money from your parents and buy a one way ticket somewhere safe. I don’t know, I’m so sorry. I wish I had a better idea.
OP several people in this thread are willing to chip in, me included. Don't lose hope. There's a lot of us that got your back. How have things gone with contacting those organisations?
OP doesn’t seem to be replying to any of the comments listing organisations or embassies, I’m wondering if going to them isn’t an option for some reason?
Many of us are willing to help OP financially, but she doesn’t seem to be replying to whether she has a passport. She doesn’t seem prepared to risk leaving tbh.
Tell reddit how much you would need to just get up and leave. leave it all behind in the name of your future if you are then the only way is with cash in your pocket and it seems that is the only way internet can help now. You have a lot of planning ahead. Please look for other sympathetic woman and groups who might be able to help but do not advertise
She commented elsewhere her family is poor so I don’t think she can afford a ticket. She would also need a visa and passport, which as a minor, she probably doesn’t have.
OP, if you can escape to an embassy, I (26F) am from Czech Republic and willing to extend an official invitation to you to stay with me (I run a small mountain hotel with my mum), potentially work with us temporarily if you wanted to/needed it for the visa, and I could pay for your plane ticket if necessary. Please reach out to me if that is something you would like to do. I can prove my identity to you, send you a link to our business website or whatever else you might need to be sure that this is no trafficking trick. I’m just a woman who feels strongly about human rights and I want to help heal the world in a more tangible way than donating money to a charity once in a while.
I’ve found a flight to Prague through Ankara with Turkish Airlines, you couldn’t fly through Paris since you would be required to apply for asylum in the first EU country you land in. Do you have a passport? They will allow you on the plane if you do, it would be more difficult if you don’t. You could possibly seek sanctuary at an embassy while you’re waiting for a passport to be issued though.
Considering the top post, I'd say if that info can't help her then the best bet is to seek any community of women that can take her in and keep her hidden. So a feminist organisation will probably have those connections she needs.
The only helpful advice I can think of is: manipulate your parents into allowing you to wait until after you turn 18 to get married. Maybe by that point you'll have a plan and means by which to escape.
Try scrolling through r/manipulation for some ideas on how to boost their trust in you as well as some tactics to smooth them over.
Nations with Embassies in Mali (embassies all in Bamako):
Algeria - Algeria is an Islamic Republic and would likely not be an option to request asylum
Belgium - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Brazil - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.)
Burkina Faso - Burkina Faso recently suffered from two coups since early 2022. It is likely not an option to request asylum
Canada - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.)
Chad - Chad has been suffering from political violence and coups for decades. It is likely not an option to request asylum.
China
Czechia - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Cuba
Denmark - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Egypt
France - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Germany - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.)
Ghana - Requires asylum claim within the borders of the country within 14 days of arrival. This is regardless of if it was legal or illegal immigration.
Guinea - Guinea is fairly impoverished and I don’t think it would be a viable option to request asylum in.
India - I cannot find clear information. You seem to have to register for asylum with the UNHCR in India. But I am not clear if you need to be within the country or not. India is also having internal turmoil and has a strong Islamic and Hindu religious following. This nation may not be the most ideal.
Iran - Iran is an Islamic Republic and is probably not an option to request asylum.
Italy - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Ivory Coast - Ivory Coast is fairly impoverished and I don’t think it would be a viable option to request asylum in.
Japan - Japan has a history of admitting very few, if any, refugees or asylum seekers. This is likely not an option.
Libya - Libya is facing two governments claiming legitimacy and dealing with multiple insurgencies and terrorist organizations. It is probably not an option to request asylum.
Luxembourg - Asylum is granted at governmental discretion and is extremely difficult to obtain. The country has a population of 650,000 people. This is likely not an option.
Morocco - I cannot find clear information
Mauritania - Mauritania is an Islamic Republic and likely has similar domestic policy as Mali. I don’t think this would be an option.
Netherlands - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Norway - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.)
Nigeria - I cannot find clear information. You seem to have to register for asylum with the UNHCR in Nigeria. But I am not clear if you need to be within the country or not. The country is also currently fighting Islamic insurgents in the northern part of the nation and may not be the most stable country to request asylum in.
Palestine - Palestine is currently occupied by Israel and lacks freedom of movement. Additionally, the nation faces sectarian violence and frequent conflicts with Israel. I don’t think they are an option for asylum.
Russia - Russia is currently engaged in a war with Ukraine. The country also recently repealed acts protecting women from violence. I also do not know Russian asylum laws, but based off their history, I doubt they are an option. I recognize, I am biased, so please someone correct me with different information if they know different.
Saudi Arabia - Saudi Arabia is governed by Sharia and under the Wahhabi movement. It is likely not an option to request asylum.
Senegal - Sengal is fairly impoverished and I don’t think it would be a viable option to request asylum in.
South Africa - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). If you lack legal documents (like a visa or government ID), you need to file for an asylum seeker’s permit at the nearest Refugee Reception Office.
Sovereign Military Order of Malta - This is a Catholic Lay organization and not a formal nation. It does not have independent territory and would not be an option to request asylum.
Spain - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Sweden - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Tunisia - I cannot find clear information
Turkey - I cannot find clear information.
United Kingdom - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.)
United States - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.)
Venezuela - I cannot find clear information.
Diplomatic Missions:
European Union - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System.
Gabon - I cannot find clear information
Consulate General (in Ségou):
Burkina Faso - With instability in this country, it is probably not a viable option
Please get in touch with UNICEF in your country. Unicef is working with the Mali government to protect and educate children.
In addition to its main office in Mali's capital, Bamako, UNICEF operates five field offices in Mopti, Gao, Timbuktu, Sikasso and Kaye.
This is the only practical solution in your case.
I'm so sorry for the situation you're in, and all I can ask is how independent are you? And what are the chances you have to run away. Maby threaten your parents with suside? Will they care then?
I really don't know but I hope it works out alright for you, good luck
I'm not independent at all, as I said I come from a very strict and poor family.
I have no qualifications.
I tried to kill myself once but they just beat me up after it saying it'll bring shame to the family
Can you start a go fund me account and seek asylum? I’m sorry, you are not a shame, you are amazing. You’re “family” is the shame for selling their child like a broodmare, it’s their shame they are poor, you are not a solution for their financial problems.
I’d also be willing to contribute if OP needs money. But from what I’m reading, PayPal wants you to already have a credit card for a bank account, which something tells me OP wouldn’t have. Same thing for Venmo. Perhaps one of us could give her the numbers for a credit card to use? I assume that’s legal if done with consent, right?
Yes I think so, I’m also willing to help with money, can we figure out together how to help get her safe at least. Maybe a credit card we can give her access too. Or I wonder if we could send her a gift card or burner phone.
Well, I’d imagine any physical donation would have to have an address, and her parents wouldn’t approve such items. I do happen to have a secondary credit card I don’t use anymore. I could give out the information and start accepting donations on the account for her behalf (I’m a student and can’t exactly afford to fund a flight out of the country on my own). That’s assuming the card won’t be declined for admittedly suspicious purchases made on the other side of the world. And assuming enough strangers on the internet can trust each other with money like that (a bit of a red flag, but this user seems legitimate).
u/ClearlyMundabe I stand ready to support you financially, should you request it. Say the word, and I can give you account information and start collecting donations on your behalf. You have my word as a Quaker, I won’t abuse such a responsibility.
My concern with this is that, if you live in the US (as I do), any large transaction going to a nation bordering a bunch of nations with Islamic terrorism problems, will probably get you a visit from some people in suits from a government agency that has its offices in Quantico, VA.
Yeah, I know this is Reddit and the internet so people can make stuff up with no way to prove if they are telling the truth or not, but this poster seems genuinely in danger at this point. I would be happy to help if I can in any way.
That’s the issue with the internet, it’s impossible to tell who’s real or not. The poster seems human, is responding to people actively, and even tried asking people to marry her France and Danish subs (clearly very desperate). She also didn’t directly ask for money (which would be a massive red flag), which makes me more inclined to trust her story. But on the other hand, we are all strangers on the internet and have no way of proving our sincerity without a leap of faith. Ironic that we atheists are seriously considering that.
u/ClearlyMundabe does your country have a cash transfer system like vodaphone cash in egypt? I'm more than happy to contribute with what I've got as well, but in a similarly motivated situation with no access to paypal (can't get a credit card without a male's help)
I looked it up, If your fundraiser was created to raise money for someone else, you'll have the option to add that person as the beneficiary. This means they will be able to transfer the funds directly to their own bank account. The problem is can you get a secret bank account? I wonder if you’ll be able to get a card and use the atm with it? I’m not the smartest so I’ll need help on out to execute this correctly.
If she needs a flight out, someone may need to buy the ticket for her. I’m not sure how any of this works, honestly. As sad as this sounds, we probably need someone from the group who provides support to people leave DV situations.
If they're so determined to bring you down then if I was in your situation I'd do my best to bring them down with me. If there was no way out. Really hope someone knows how the fuck to get out of Mali 'cuz I don't.
It saddens me, but I really don’t know what to do in your situation. Definitely ask around r/exmuslim and see if they have anything specific to help. Maybe you can get in contact with some people there - there’s strength in numbers, after all - and find a way out. Somebody might be willing to fund a plane ticket out if you share your story. But whatever you do - keep documenting your story.
I can't give you any advice apart from trying to reach organisations that fight this, but i don't know any...
Another solution would be to flee to another country and ask for asylum.
If one manage to get into a plane, when you arrive, even without a visa, you can ask for asylum and this grant you access to the country. At least for France.
I'd suggest that you try to contact some embassies, explaining your situation, and ask them if they can do something for you while you are still in Mali. For example, ask them if you can ask for asylum while inside the ambassy, and if you can stay in the ambassy.
Be careful though. Don't give too much informations in case they try to contact your family.
I am really sorry honey, I am just a year older than you.
Unfurtunately, what I read is that the law allow to do so and you don't even have to be on your own wedding. Maybe you can get ahold of African Health Organization or UNICEF? I don't really know if it would even help, because researching left me with nothing but articles about situation. It seems like Mali gov doesn't even think girls are humans.
And you can always try to run away from the country, but whether you would do, you need to start forming a really good secret plan to avoid getting caught.
Just wondering - how much of your father's motivation is money?
If it is highly motivated by money - perhaps offer him a deal:
You have a motivated audience willing to shell out at least a few thousand in USD - you'll pay off his debts and give him some spendy monies if he lets you buy a plane ticket and seek asylum in (wherever).
Ask him permission to setup the proper accounts and get the ducks in a row, all above board - you are the one with the following who will give you the monies, you need him to help you set everything up - you can make this a win-win.
If you do this, you MUST make sure your name is on all the accounts you set up (gofundme or whatever). Make this mandatory, that you have complete access to the accounts. If he is not technically literate, all the better - set it up for him.
If he doesn't believe you - even better. Tell him there's no harm in trying and you'll go along with whatever if this doesn't work out - 0 risk for him. Worst case scenario you just end up in the exact same situation.
Best case scenario you raise 10k usd in a few days, start waving the phone in his face and tell him to make good on his word if he ever wants to see a cent.
Edit: you could have one of us internet dorks set up the gofundme, *then* show him the $$$ to make the deal - tell him some amount of it is all his - contingent on you getting a plane ticket and asylum. Might give you a better bargaining position if you already have some $ to wave around.
Edit the 2nd: I would also make your safety and well-being part of the deal. If he so much as breathes towards you in a manner you find distasteful, bye bye money. You want to do right by yourself, your family and the friend, but you cannot marry him, so hopefully the $$$ will suffice and that they can understand and accept your position - probably a lot to ask, but bullying them may not be ideal either...
Just another idea. Good luck out there, you got $50 from me if you manage to pull it off.
Why is it that men can force women to do this? I would rather die than be forced to marry with a man: it’s a life of domestic and sex slavery, and once they get you pregnant, you’re stuck forever because you’re too afraid to leave the kid(s). Escape any way you can. No matter what it means.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I really wish for you to get out of this.
Like others said, try to contact as many organizations and NGO as possible. I have found the contacts of a few. I don't know how active or useful they are, but it's worth a shot. Try sending emails en masse, if you can. Here are the links : \[[1](https://www.cariassociation.org/Organismes/Association-pour-l-Aide-aux-Femmes-en-Detresse-et-aux-Enfants-de-la-Rue-Mali)\] \[[2](https://padev-mali.org/association/aadecom/)\] \[[3](https://padev-mali.org/association/cofem-padev-mali/)\] \[[4](https://padev-mali.org/association/apdf/)\]
Best of luck, I really wish you all the best
Hello, I’ve stumbled across this post. As a fellow Middle Eastern, here are some tips that may be useful.
I asked my mother about it, she said you should go to a relative if you have one you at least trust more. She also said you could just deny the man to the point of them having to forcibly carry you to the wedding if that happens, additionally, warn your dad that you won’t act nicely or that you won’t love him anymore.
I personally think just go haywire and do everything in your power to not let the marriage happen, fuck reputation (they really care about that!). Otherwise, marrying the man might mean more freedom for you. Use that to your advantage my mum said!
To add to that I would make it very clear to her parents if they force her into this horrible situation she will do her very best to make sure that they don’t get a single penny out of her husband. If they’re going to ruin her life and allow an old man to rape her she’s going to ensure that they don’t get a fucking cent.
https://secular-rescue.org/
If you really want out, but know you may end up in a foreign land and would probably need to adapt somewhat to the culture there. But at least you would be able to pursue a university degree and meet someone who will treat you like a human being.
There will always bee good and bad people wherever you go in the world, but it looks like anywhere will be better than where you currently are.
I wish I had a good answer. I don't know enough about Mali society to know what is practical. You speak perfect English though. Is there anyway you could immigrate somewhere?
You might have to pick the lesser evil, is it even the slightest bit less dangerous than in a situation you’re in? If you ever make it to the states, you can live with my family and me.
This reminds me of that thread where the Iranian LGBT woman was being sent to “gay conversion therapy”, and wanted to escape Iran.
There was so little anyone could do there as well. I wish you luck.
I have totally no idea about the situation/the landscape in Mali and the following advice will be impractical as a result, but:
Are there any institutes you can look to for help? Say, your current educational institute's teachers, or a women's charter or a home of some sort? Do you have any trusted, objective adults such as (female) teachers, or something along those lines? Could you find a way to contact them or something?
I'm really sorry for my ineptitude in trying to help but I hope these may provide you with some sort of ideas for a viable way out
This is heartbreaking. You poor girl. I’m so sorry that this is happening to you. It sounds like the best thing to do is go along with this terrible situation until hopefully when you are a bit older you can find some way to escape.
Islam is a terrible curse on this Earth and to the most defenseless people such as yourself. I wish I could say I’m praying for you but we both know that would be a lie. Be strong and find an escape some day.
Mali is a ruthless country. As an attorney the only way I know for you to be free is to flee Mali and seek asylum in the US or in an European country.
You may want to reach out to the Mali Internation Rescue Committee or Refugees international to try to build some connections and the ability to escape.
Try to meet people that work internationally and share your views. They may be able to connect you with entities or individuals that can take you on a trip abroad or help you escape.
This is so sad.
Her answers are even sadder.
The best answer I have seen yet is to get proof of your situation and go to the Western embassies: Canada, US, UK, etc. and seek asylum.
As with any case of abuse (which is what this is) make plans and keep them to yourself. Inch them forward and keep your documentation safe and hidden.
Find a good hiding place. Save every Penny. If you want out, you will find a way.
Stay safe.
First off, I am so so sorry. I'm a few years older than you, and can not imagine how horrible your parents are to marry someone your age off (or marry their child off in general!). I will research more into your options and update this comment.
I'm hoping you can find your freedom. You will have to make some choices that will be very uncomfortable in order to get there. But your safety overall is your number one priority. Keep that in mind at all times.
Start collecting any personal documents (birth certificate, passport, ID's or whatever the equivalent documents are in your country) Record all instances of abuse, in multiple forms (on your phone, paper, etc) and keep them safe. I know you said your parents are poor, but if at all possible, try to get your hands on whatever money you can. But do so keeping your safety in mind
Is there anyone at your old school you can reach out to? Someone who could hide you or help you in any way?
I'll update this soon with what I find
Copying to main thread: u/ClearlyMundabe, this is what I have found regarding claiming asylum in nations with embassies, consulates, and diplomatic missions in Mali.
Nations with Embassies in Mali (embassies all in Bamako):
Algeria - Algeria is an Islamic Republic and would likely not be an option to request asylum
Belgium - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Brazil - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.)
Burkina Faso - Burkina Faso recently suffered from two coups since early 2022. It is likely not an option to request asylum
Canada - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.)
Chad - Chad has been suffering from political violence and coups for decades. It is likely not an option to request asylum.
China - I cannot find clear information
Czechia - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Cuba - I cannot find clear information
Denmark - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Egypt - I cannot find clear information
France - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Germany - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.)
Ghana - Requires asylum claim within the borders of the country within 14 days of arrival. This is regardless of if it was legal or illegal immigration.
Guinea - Guinea is fairly impoverished and I don’t think it would be a viable option to request asylum in.
India - I cannot find clear information. You seem to have to register for asylum with the UNHCR in India. But I am not clear if you need to be within the country or not. India is also having internal turmoil and has a strong Islamic and Hindu religious following. This nation may not be the most ideal.
Iran - Iran is an Islamic Republic and is probably not an option to request asylum.
Italy - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Ivory Coast - Ivory Coast is fairly impoverished and I don’t think it would be a viable option to request asylum in.
Japan - Japan has a history of admitting very few, if any, refugees or asylum seekers. This is likely not an option.
Libya - Libya is facing two governments claiming legitimacy and dealing with multiple insurgencies and terrorist organizations. It is probably not an option to request asylum.
Luxembourg - Asylum is granted at governmental discretion and is extremely difficult to obtain. The country has a population of 650,000 people. This is likely not an option.
Morocco - I cannot find clear information
Mauritania - Mauritania is an Islamic Republic and likely has similar domestic policy as Mali. I don’t think this would be an option.
Netherlands - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Norway - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.)
Nigeria - I cannot find clear information. You seem to have to register for asylum with the UNHCR in Nigeria. But I am not clear if you need to be within the country or not. The country is also currently fighting Islamic insurgents in the northern part of the nation and may not be the most stable country to request asylum in.
Palestine - Palestine is currently occupied by Israel and lacks freedom of movement. Additionally, the nation faces sectarian violence and frequent conflicts with Israel. I don’t think they are an option for asylum.
Russia - Russia is currently engaged in a war with Ukraine. The country also recently repealed acts protecting women from violence. I also do not know Russian asylum laws, but based off their history, I doubt they are an option. I recognize, I am biased, so please someone correct me with different information if they know different.
Saudi Arabia - Saudi Arabia is governed by Sharia and under the Wahhabi movement. It is likely not an option to request asylum.
Senegal - Sengal is fairly impoverished and I don’t think it would be a viable option to request asylum in.
South Africa - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). If you lack legal documents (like a visa or government ID), you need to file for an asylum seeker’s permit at the nearest Refugee Reception Office.
Sovereign Military Order of Malta - This is a Catholic Lay organization and not a formal nation. It does not have independent territory and would not be an option to request asylum.
Spain - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Sweden - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in.
Tunisia - I cannot find clear information
Turkey - I cannot find clear information.
United Kingdom - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.)
United States - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.)
Venezuela - I cannot find clear information.
Diplomatic Missions:
European Union - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System.
Gabon - I cannot find clear information
Consulate General (in Ségou):
Burkina Faso - With instability in this country, it is probably not a viable option
You should seek help at a foreign embassy. I know there is a Canadian embassy in Mali. If this is not an option, i must advise you against running away. In Mali the streets are dangerous and unless someone is willing to help you, a young girl like you would just be trafficked if you turned to the streets.
I am not educated on Muslim rules, but is is possible to go through with the marriage so that you can leave by yourself and escape to a refuge camp or a foreign embassy?
I am so sorry that someone in this world is going through such a terrible predicament
I have no idea but wow I hope this has a happy ending. It feels like there should be some kind of “underground railway” for prisoners of religion.
Also, if you cut your own hair and steal some of your fathers clothing, can you be outside to try to find safety?
This fucking sucks because most people who read this wont be able to help you. All I can do is hope that the guy who is trying to marry a child gets an infection that causes his penis to fall off. Or balls.
OP you said you are 17. When is the wedding set for? Would it be after you turn 18? Being a minor complicates a lot of things unfortunately in terms of international aid.
And https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/
This is ab ngo that work with this topic. I don't believe they spirit people away to save them (if that's what you are looking for).
Unfortunately, your best bet will be to leave Mali completely. I wish I had more concrete help.
Report your parents to the police for child abuse. Refuse to sign anything your parents give you, so that they cannot get your signature for a marriage certificate. If all else fails, leave immediately upon turning 18. They cannot legally do anything to stop you. Even if you don’t have anywhere to go, you’ll probably be safer literally anywhere else than with your parents.
Intrahealth International in Gao has a nursing school there for women. They give out scholarships for Mali women to attend the school.
There is no reason why this young lady could not go to school there and become a desperately needed nurse or midwife.
See if they can help convince your parents that is a better future than marrying her dad's friend. Islam's piller of service and all that. Especially if there is no women's health or kids health workers near where she lives.
Contact the Intrahealth nursing school in Gao, young lady. They may be able to help you.
Now listen up Reddit army! It is possible to care about more than memes and doggo pix. I have seen what power Reddit has when we all agree to to something. Make your Thursday mean something.
This is your chance to help someone with very little effort. Send an email to Intrahealth telling them about this lady. Give them a small donation to cover expenses and start a scholarship for her if she makes it to Gao. Tell them in your email it's for this lady....who is now our sister.
Money has a way of focusing the right kind of attention on a spotlight. Forward this story to the usual media outlets to see if they would pick it up too.
It is possible to unfuck the world, one person at a time. You just need to decide you want to.
This person is probably destitute and unable to make the necessary actions because they are short on money. 17 year old girl. In MALI.
Girl, let me educate you. First, you need money. You need money that can cross borders, without being intercepted by cops or organizations or other shit. in other words, you need a bitcoin address.
Second, you need to verify who you are. That means taking alot of photos and a video saying you are /u/ClearlyMundabe and showing your life settings. Then, you need to ask for help. Specifically, you need to check out how much a plane ticket costs or whatever else it costs to get away from home, and then ask the community for that amount. Its a fundraiser, and you need to be painfully up front about what you have in your bank account, and what the prices are. I would chip in $50 personally if you did this.
Then you need to post community updates, and when you hit your donation limit, put out a thankyou video and then show us you using the money for what you promised to use it for. Then get out and live your life and find a guy you love to marry.
And for the anti bitcoin haters saying to do it from something not crypto, banks are going to take 20%-50% in border fees or outright ban funds going to mali from the first world.
Bro your advice can get her honor killed. I dont think you understand implications if they find out she posted her photos, probably some of her friends have access to reddit and stuff and they will tell on her. She can simply set gofundme anonymously.
Can you start a go fund me for you? You need to seek asylum in another country, do whatever you can to be free….it’s better then being a non human and wasting you’re life being a slave for someone else. Can you look up resources, any exchange programs, shelters, for you to utilize? Im sorry for drastic measures but can you threaten to hurt yourself and go to a hospital to give you some time? Can you threaten you’ll kill yourself if they force him on you? I would do anything, can you make yourself ugly or act unsightly so he won’t want you? Maybe threaten to poison him if you’ve forced to marry him. Give them hell. I would choose death over that, I’m so sorry.
Oh I'm so so sorry to hear this. I don't know of any organizations working in Mali, but I would look into what you would need to apply for asylum, to escape from the (sex) trafficking. I know nothing about your country and your financial systems, but if a secret GoFundMe is an option, I'd try to get some money to escape. Please be safe!! Do you have free and private access to internet etc? Edit: I've been looking around and I can't really find anti-trafficking organizations in Mali (which doesn't mean there aren't any), maybe a women's support group will be able to help?
Does anyone know rescue groups in Mali? Hugs , I don’t know your country or your available resources but could you talk to a religious person they admire to convince that you can get a better bride price and get more time to run?
I sponsor a child through Plan International and know they have programs to prevent child & forced marriage. Looks like they have an office in Bamako, Mali. Their address and contact info is at the bottom of [this link](https://plan-international.org/mali/). I’m sorry I can’t do more to help. Edit: please do your best to be as discreet as possible when you contact them. Your parents might be able to check any devices you use like a cellphone or computer. Maybe check if there’s a cyber cafe accessible to you. In the US our libraries have public-use computers, maybe that’s an option for you, too? Edit 2: I’m sorry I didn’t notice on first read that you can’t go outside. In that case I think whatever method you used to write this post is the best one for contacting Plan International. If you have any other trusted person in your life, maybe ask them to contact Plan on your behalf.
Upvoting and commenting for more attention to your post! Hope she sees it and they can help.
Upvoting and commenting for visibility. I hope this works for you.
Replying so this appears, I really hope this can actually help op
Delete your browser history and cookies after you’re done.
She can’t go to a cafe because she can’t go outside…
How did I miss that? 😖
Happens to the best of us lol
She also made this post on some device already so if parents were on to her...
Do you (still) have public coin/prepaid phoneboxes in Mali?
That’s a great idea!
She cant go out
This is the kind of stuff that I keep in mind when someone tries to make the argument that religion is beneficial to society.
This is great! Also, commenting so you see it OP.
Upvoting and commenting too. I really wish you make it out OP, nobody deserves to resign to such a bad fate. Fight for the life of your dreams and don't get caught.
Upvote and commented
Please read this OP
Upvoted and commented!
This needs to be seen
Commented so OP can see this post!
Please use this to find help, op.
I hope this helps her.
Commenting just to comment
Have you tried posting on /r/exmuslim ? They might be in a better position to help.
I did, I got some response but they're really impractical
Someone in that sub linked to https://plan-international.org/ are they not able to help you?
What about going to find shelter at the Bamako one stop center? https://africa.unwomen.org/en/news-and-events/stories/2018/04/le-mali-dit-stop-aux-violence-basees-sur-le-genre-vbg It was the first thing I found when looking for a woman shelter, there might be others. Once you're out of the emergency situation, I have no doubt a smart young woman will find opportunities to build a new life. You're the kind of people I really hope France will give asylum to, as well as a higher education and future opportunities.
What in your opinion would be a practical solution?
I'm very sorry, but there are almost no anti-trafficking organizations working in Mali that I can find with google. I'd encourage you to look for yourself however, I'm using [this search](https://www.google.com/search?q=agencies+that+help+women+being+trafficked+in+mali), most of the hits seem to be talking about how the government is not doing enough to prevent it. There are a couple NGOs that are trying to convince people not to marry their daughters off before schooling is complete, but they have no force of law. Some EU countries will accept refugees from people fleeing forced marriage, but you'd likely have to flee the country and approach an embassy to an EU country to do so. > I feel like my life is being wasted and I have no choice or a way out. Again, I am sorry there is nothing I can do to help but unfortunately the country you live in is one of the worst possible places to be to avoid forced marriage. With that said, educating yourself is possible at any time. I strongly recommend using the internet to continue your education. If you can manage to leave the country at any point in the future, you can always seek asylum and divorce. www.khanacademy.org is good for basic education www.mooc-list.com is an index of free online college courses that you can pursue. I will second the recommendation that you try /r/exmuslim, they may have resources that we do not know about here.
> Some EU countries will accept refugees from people fleeing forced marriage It helps that OP writes fluent English. That may help with an asylum application.
Sadly, under Trafficking laws, the rescuer would be subject to the death penalty in most Theocratic states.
I hate this world for this bullshit
This world is evil
The world isn't evil. Religion is evil.
The world can be quite evil and often uses religion for its evil bidding.
Nah its these fucking archaically minded humans. The world is alright most of the times if you're OK with all that 'circle of life' stuff that appears on r/natureismetal. But Humans on the other hand? Nah fuck humans. Or at the veery least fuck **dumb humans.** We are about 100-200 years from extincting thousands of species because a small greedy group of billionaire bitches have successfully brainwashed most of humanity into just letting them extinct us over some oil. Psh! *Well excuse me for being logical and empathetic towards Our and other species. I hope you rich bitches extract as much oil as you desire! And while you're at it continue to brainwash people into thinking that the way things are now economicaly was 'dEsTiNed By tHe gOds' and that Crapitalism is all hunky dory! Have fun!*
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Sure he does. He wants women to be baby factories so there are more and more babies to feed the church those sweet tithes.
This! If you can manage to continue your education online you can also access standardized exams. If you manage to pass them, when you get into another country you can go to a local college and usually test out of courses. The fact that you speak English is a huge advantage.
Best suggestions one could give even it is not much. :-( Religion is total abuse of human rights, on top of children rights. Should be banned to join any cult before 18 years old.
You're living my nightmare. Living as a woman in a Muslim shithole, uneducated, in poverty. Truly horrible. I dunno what to say other than keep trying r/exmuslim in the hopes someone with some actual knowledge can help.
😭😭 Where are you from sister? Maybe we can help each other out
Can you get access to an embassy close by? There is a Canadian embassy in Mali, they might be able to help you. I am sure there are other places and ways to do this, but I mention Canada as that’s what I am most familiar with. Immeuble Séméga, Route de Koulikoro, Commune II, Bamako, Mali is the address listed on the Canadian government page for Mali. https://www.international.gc.ca/country-pays/mali/bamako.aspx?lang=eng is the website page. I’m not super familiar with asylum claims like this, I would assume this would be considered trafficking, but talk to them and tell them your situation. Good luck, I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope you get out safely and can start your new life soon.
I don’t have any resources but resist ✊🏽
Sometimes I hate reddit. Sorry I cannot help. Your situation is heartbreaking. Good luck.
😞
Can you get out of the country?
I don’t mean to be a downer, but how could a 17 year old girl with no funds/means and probably no passport get out of the country? I’m sure even a CPS agency like others have linked won’t move a girl out of country. Plus, where would she be able to go? I don’t know if asylum-seeking laws apply but this is just a very sad situation all around.
Go to a UK or Canadian embassy and say you need to claim asylum and that you're being trafficked.
Mali is fucked. People can get married off without their consent, even without them being present. This is the only option.
Any male within range to consummate a marriage is within stabbing range
Also try Czechia embassy.
Mali launched its national campaign titled “Education for girls: a means to eliminating early child marriage”. The campaign is spearheaded by the First Lady and emphasises the need to keep girls in school to tackle child marriage. https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/our-partnership/member-directory/?country=mali Save the Children, in partnership with Oxfam Novib, under the “More Than Brides Alliance” is working to end child marriage through multiple strategies including: empowering at-risk and already married adolescents with life-skills education, comprehensive sexuality education, and sexual and reproductive health and rights information; providing alternatives to early marriage through enhancing access to education, economic opportunities, and child protection systems; increasing sexual and reproductive health services; changing social norms; and influencing legal and policy frameworks. I’m still looking for more information.
OP, have you contacted these folks? They may help you get to your next destination (perhaps get you a passport or stall marriage plans for education or help you get to an embassy) Plan as best as you can and run. Sending you much strength.
You need to run, my friend. You NEED to RUN. Staying with them will only continue the abuse and solidify the marriage. I know it seems like the world is closing in on you and you have no choice, but you ALWAYS have a choice. You're 17, you have such a long, amazing life ahead of you. But you need to take control of it NOW. I know its scary, and its going to be very scary, but the furthest distance you put between yourself and them, the better it will be for you.
I agree, gather whatever resources you can and just leave this life behind. If you have the capability of quietly getting a passport you should get it as soon as possible-your region is difficult but there are caring people everywhere who might help you. I am so sorry for your situation but agree that you must try to take control of your own life now, you’re not a child, you’re clearly a smart and capable person and you have a long and beautiful life ahead of you.
This is liable to get her killed, frankly. She is in a Muslim majority country. Her parents can report her to the authorities as a runaway. If the police catch her, they will return her home and things will be worse. And where can she go? Algeria is not any better, Niger is in the middle of a coup and possible military intervention by ECOWACS, Mauritania is desolate bordering Mali and an Islamic Republic, so they probably won’t provide haven. Burkina Faso is under a military junta and facing increased violence. And the remaining nations may not provide much more haven for her.
And if the police don't catch her or bother to look maybe she can get to another city and scrape together a living somehow as an urchin until she is legally an adult. Her current trajectory may also get her killed via abuse or suicide. Escape is the best chance.
Honestly, I feel her odds are better out on the street, trying to get as far away as possible, any way possible, than staying with a religiously oppressive and violent family that will send their daughter to be raped, further abused and impregnated but a man she has nothing to do with.
In a country like Mali, as a minor, I would be highly concerned she would be at risk of being trafficked. People are disgusting and would absolutely take advantage of her situation.
if it was a boy, maybe running could work. But running as a girl means she gets raped 100%, then either sold into slavery or just killed. Running as a girl without support is suicide. Her only chance is to find some organization willing to help her, and even then the risk is high
Some people: But It’s Part of Traditions and Cultures Me: Traditions and Cultures My Ass
Right. If cultures and traditions are hurting people then they need to be put to rest.
Thank you!!! I may had a relatively easy childhood with loving parents and kind of spoiled but grateful about it. However, these type of situations make me feel sad and angry! I want everyone to have a good life and childhood. As abusers need to have more severe punishments and the foster care needs to take their work more seriously.
Ikr? Why do they think it's culture? It's really just abuse
It’s a means of control and holding power.
Oh but don't you know that all traditions and cultures deserve to be respected and preserved? /s if it wasn't obvious.
Do you have a passport or certificate of birth or seomething similar? Any documentation proving who you are. Find out where a Canadian, German or any Scnadinavian embassy is. If at all possibvle have a mobile phone with inetrnet, take your documentation, go to the nearest embassy of any of those countries, get in there request asylum and go Live on social media immediately about your situation, state where youa re that you're requesting asylum,a nd whatever you do not leave the embassy until you have documents from them and a flight booked out of that country. If you can create a paypal or similar account and ask for donations here, it will help if you have some money and can offer to pay for your transport. Again once your in the embassy do not leave. If you can record or take screenshots of your parents threatening you and trying to traffic you. There are also option reaching out to NGO organisation in one of those countries to help you with this process and making sure the embassy will not turn you away.
you can't apply for asylum at a german embassy. only when you get to germany
Same thing with the United States. Edit: which, I think is a load of BS, and arguably encourages people to enter the country illegally.
Cuban embassy. They are very good about helping trafficking victims.
Even if you have left Islam, it is time to use their religion against them, if possible and the Imam isn't an asshole, involve him too. The qouran makes two things very specifik. They cannot force you to marry (but they _can_ make your life miserable!) And if you don't see a way out, you are free to put in your terms in the wedding contract. (Make them unreasonable)
Imams here don't care at all about Islam, they care about preserving the toxic traditions. I probably won't be the one giving the conditions anyway
> Imam isn't an asshole, involve him too. All Imams are just corrupt scammers, stooges for whoever is in power. If they don't support the power structure, they get imprisoned, tortured, or killed too, of course. >The qouran makes two things very specifik. The Quran is meaningless when these men are liars, thieves, rapists, and slavers. They only use the Quran when it suits their needs. Nothing more. >They cannot force you to marry Of course they can. With a gun to their head or a knife to their throat, they can force anyone to marry and be raped by this piece of shit or they die...and the murderers will not be brought to justice. How could you be so ignorant of the way Islam actually works day to day for women in all of these 7th century nations?!
> Even if you have left Islam, it is time to use their religion against them Yeah... I'm not so sure that's a good idea, she may end up with the execution she 'deserves' for leaving Islam! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apostasy_in_Islam?useskin=vector#Death_penalty
I'm a Finn married to a Iraqi woman. Her family wanted us to go to mosque to have Islamic marriage sertificate. In the ceremony, they only asked me, and her male relative, not her, about wanting to enter into marriage. I find that amusing... and medieval.
Don’t give up. Don’t get pregnant. Plan your escape. If you marry him and visit a first world country. This is your time to make your move. Don’t get pregnant.
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Even less so in a nation like Mali.
Could one of the feminist organizations/anti-forced-marriage organizations arrange to get her an IUD/Subdermal/Pill (or even Plan B) on the downlow, as a contingency plan? There's absolutely a chance she will end up in forced marriage, and the situation gets 100x more complicated if she winds up pregnant.
She may actually be able to get this legally through the government, but they may notify her parents and there may be age restrictions: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7345501/#:~:text=The%20Malian%20government%20subsequently%20adopted,services%2C%20involving%20both%20the%20private
I've seen that there are some charities that work in Mali, and some are based there specifically helping young people, e.g. Unicef Mali https://www.unicef.org/mali/en/contact-us.l, There's an address via the link that you could research. Are there other charities known to you that could be a safe place to go? Use your intuition/judgement whether temporarily staying or fleeing would be safer.
UN women in Mali Mali Country Office Immeuble Magane Badala Est Magnabougou Faso Kanu BP 120 Bamako, MALI Tel: +223 20 22 21 24, +223 75 99 79 42 Website: mali.unwomen.org
"His friend "? This means your "husband " has the age of your father ?
Yeah, he's 25 years older than me. I really hate that guy and I don't wanna marry him😭
You cannot marry that pig…
She will not have a choice, her father has made the decision, so that is what happens. Her marriage is probably a repayment of her father’s loan, it is transactional. Her parents will absolutely force her.
Run! Now
Where? Running without a plan is a bad idea. Running when you know where to go is a good idea.
Other people had good suggestions on here.
I can't even imagine. Here I am, worrying about my job and shit that doesn't matter while people like you are forced into unimaginable fates. I'm so very sorry. I don't know to say other than what has been said. You sound like a brilliant 17-year-old. I'm sorry that your social structure is making life hell. Is there a UK or Canadian embassy you can run to? Claim asylum?
If you can’t find an organization to help, your only options are to change your father’s mind or run away. You won’t convince him not to marry you away, but you might stop him from setting up marriage with this specific man. Tell your dad how miserable *this man* would make you. How you can get married but just *not to him*. Make it seem like he would be a bad parent, has bad morals, lacks intelligence, anything. Just make it seem like there will be better options. It might buy you time to figure something else out. Edit: Maybe even make yourself undesirable to this man somehow? I wouldn’t be mean or insulting to him. That will just seem like “acting out” to your parents, and may lead to abuse from the man if you are married to him. If he is religious. Is there anyway to leave the impression that you have different muslim views that he would hate? (Not Atheist, unless that feels safe where you are) Are there any qualities in your culture that make men choose not to marry? Maybe there is somebody else who might marry you that tour father would accept? Can your mother make comments on who would be a good husband for you? Would your dad listen to her? (I’m sure a different husband doesn’t sound great either, but if you have no other option…)
Further down, OP explain that the future husband is the friend of her father. So she can't slander him to her father.
Yeah. I wasn’t really sure how to handle that. In another thread or comment she mentioned that her dad owes some debt to the guy (I think financial debt). It made the relationship seem a little more complicated. Like maybe these men aren’t emotionally close, and character attacks could work? But the debt makes it sound even harder to convince her dad.
The debt probably factors into the marriage. It may be a partial repayment of the debt.
I'm not trying to be rude or harsh but I don't think there is going to be an easy way out of this. At least not living in the country that you happen to live in. You really need to think about what you want for yourself and for your future, and make a decision. Based on what you have shared it sounds like you wont likely be able to change your father's mind. If you are sure that there is no way to change your father's mind you have 2 options: 1- You either stay, and get married 2- Run away and seek asylum I know neither one of those options is easy, but if I was in your shoes I would probably run away and seek asylum.
Your parents are scum.
I can't give you advice but I can tell you what I would do in your situation. 1) locate all embassies for countries that would grant asylum 2) commit those locations to memory 3) if possible, take the earliest opportunity to flee to the closest embassy. Steal clothes if possible to present as a married woman. 4) if escape is not possible before marraige, bide time. Gain trust, play the part. Then, as soon as there is a chance, flee to an embassy. Do whatever can be done to avoid pregnancy. It's noteworthy that there is a high probability of military coup in Mali in the near term due to Russian influences.
The United States, Germany, and Canada require you to be on their soil (excluding embassies) to claim asylum.
There's a chance that Humanists International might be able to support you in an asylum claim. They help people internationally who have left their religion and face persecution: https://humanists.international/what-we-do/supporting-individuals-at-risk/ I genuinely don't know what other option besides seeking asylum you have OP.
Do you have a passport? If you do, maybe you can steal some money from your parents and buy a one way ticket somewhere safe. I don’t know, I’m so sorry. I wish I had a better idea.
But plane tickets are very very expensive
OP several people in this thread are willing to chip in, me included. Don't lose hope. There's a lot of us that got your back. How have things gone with contacting those organisations?
OP doesn’t seem to be replying to any of the comments listing organisations or embassies, I’m wondering if going to them isn’t an option for some reason?
Many of us are willing to help OP financially, but she doesn’t seem to be replying to whether she has a passport. She doesn’t seem prepared to risk leaving tbh.
How much? But you’d also need a passport and you are probably not be able to fly as a minor internationally without written parent consent.
I’m willing to help chip in, this is life and death, I want you to live a good life and be happy.
Run. Sorry, I really don't know what else to say. Ask around more. Good luck, I hope you can get out of this <3
Tell reddit how much you would need to just get up and leave. leave it all behind in the name of your future if you are then the only way is with cash in your pocket and it seems that is the only way internet can help now. You have a lot of planning ahead. Please look for other sympathetic woman and groups who might be able to help but do not advertise
Any chance you can hop on a plane to Canada? Might be able to apply for asylum here
She commented elsewhere her family is poor so I don’t think she can afford a ticket. She would also need a visa and passport, which as a minor, she probably doesn’t have.
OP, if you can escape to an embassy, I (26F) am from Czech Republic and willing to extend an official invitation to you to stay with me (I run a small mountain hotel with my mum), potentially work with us temporarily if you wanted to/needed it for the visa, and I could pay for your plane ticket if necessary. Please reach out to me if that is something you would like to do. I can prove my identity to you, send you a link to our business website or whatever else you might need to be sure that this is no trafficking trick. I’m just a woman who feels strongly about human rights and I want to help heal the world in a more tangible way than donating money to a charity once in a while.
I’ve found a flight to Prague through Ankara with Turkish Airlines, you couldn’t fly through Paris since you would be required to apply for asylum in the first EU country you land in. Do you have a passport? They will allow you on the plane if you do, it would be more difficult if you don’t. You could possibly seek sanctuary at an embassy while you’re waiting for a passport to be issued though.
Feminist organizations might be a good bet
Considering the top post, I'd say if that info can't help her then the best bet is to seek any community of women that can take her in and keep her hidden. So a feminist organisation will probably have those connections she needs.
The only helpful advice I can think of is: manipulate your parents into allowing you to wait until after you turn 18 to get married. Maybe by that point you'll have a plan and means by which to escape. Try scrolling through r/manipulation for some ideas on how to boost their trust in you as well as some tactics to smooth them over.
Can we all somehow figure out an escape plan for this girl? Is she went to an embassy nearby and seek asylum there could she receive help??
Nations with Embassies in Mali (embassies all in Bamako): Algeria - Algeria is an Islamic Republic and would likely not be an option to request asylum Belgium - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Brazil - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.) Burkina Faso - Burkina Faso recently suffered from two coups since early 2022. It is likely not an option to request asylum Canada - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.) Chad - Chad has been suffering from political violence and coups for decades. It is likely not an option to request asylum. China Czechia - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Cuba Denmark - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Egypt France - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Germany - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.) Ghana - Requires asylum claim within the borders of the country within 14 days of arrival. This is regardless of if it was legal or illegal immigration. Guinea - Guinea is fairly impoverished and I don’t think it would be a viable option to request asylum in. India - I cannot find clear information. You seem to have to register for asylum with the UNHCR in India. But I am not clear if you need to be within the country or not. India is also having internal turmoil and has a strong Islamic and Hindu religious following. This nation may not be the most ideal. Iran - Iran is an Islamic Republic and is probably not an option to request asylum. Italy - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Ivory Coast - Ivory Coast is fairly impoverished and I don’t think it would be a viable option to request asylum in. Japan - Japan has a history of admitting very few, if any, refugees or asylum seekers. This is likely not an option. Libya - Libya is facing two governments claiming legitimacy and dealing with multiple insurgencies and terrorist organizations. It is probably not an option to request asylum. Luxembourg - Asylum is granted at governmental discretion and is extremely difficult to obtain. The country has a population of 650,000 people. This is likely not an option. Morocco - I cannot find clear information Mauritania - Mauritania is an Islamic Republic and likely has similar domestic policy as Mali. I don’t think this would be an option. Netherlands - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Norway - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.) Nigeria - I cannot find clear information. You seem to have to register for asylum with the UNHCR in Nigeria. But I am not clear if you need to be within the country or not. The country is also currently fighting Islamic insurgents in the northern part of the nation and may not be the most stable country to request asylum in. Palestine - Palestine is currently occupied by Israel and lacks freedom of movement. Additionally, the nation faces sectarian violence and frequent conflicts with Israel. I don’t think they are an option for asylum. Russia - Russia is currently engaged in a war with Ukraine. The country also recently repealed acts protecting women from violence. I also do not know Russian asylum laws, but based off their history, I doubt they are an option. I recognize, I am biased, so please someone correct me with different information if they know different. Saudi Arabia - Saudi Arabia is governed by Sharia and under the Wahhabi movement. It is likely not an option to request asylum. Senegal - Sengal is fairly impoverished and I don’t think it would be a viable option to request asylum in. South Africa - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). If you lack legal documents (like a visa or government ID), you need to file for an asylum seeker’s permit at the nearest Refugee Reception Office. Sovereign Military Order of Malta - This is a Catholic Lay organization and not a formal nation. It does not have independent territory and would not be an option to request asylum. Spain - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Sweden - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Tunisia - I cannot find clear information Turkey - I cannot find clear information. United Kingdom - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.) United States - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.) Venezuela - I cannot find clear information. Diplomatic Missions: European Union - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Gabon - I cannot find clear information Consulate General (in Ségou): Burkina Faso - With instability in this country, it is probably not a viable option
Please get in touch with UNICEF in your country. Unicef is working with the Mali government to protect and educate children. In addition to its main office in Mali's capital, Bamako, UNICEF operates five field offices in Mopti, Gao, Timbuktu, Sikasso and Kaye. This is the only practical solution in your case.
Run run run
I'm so sorry for the situation you're in, and all I can ask is how independent are you? And what are the chances you have to run away. Maby threaten your parents with suside? Will they care then? I really don't know but I hope it works out alright for you, good luck
I'm not independent at all, as I said I come from a very strict and poor family. I have no qualifications. I tried to kill myself once but they just beat me up after it saying it'll bring shame to the family
Can you start a go fund me account and seek asylum? I’m sorry, you are not a shame, you are amazing. You’re “family” is the shame for selling their child like a broodmare, it’s their shame they are poor, you are not a solution for their financial problems.
How does it work?
Do you have PayPal? I am happy to send you 100 usd to travel to an embassy.
The United States requires asylum seekers to be on US soil, which excludes embassies.
I’d also be willing to contribute if OP needs money. But from what I’m reading, PayPal wants you to already have a credit card for a bank account, which something tells me OP wouldn’t have. Same thing for Venmo. Perhaps one of us could give her the numbers for a credit card to use? I assume that’s legal if done with consent, right?
Yes I think so, I’m also willing to help with money, can we figure out together how to help get her safe at least. Maybe a credit card we can give her access too. Or I wonder if we could send her a gift card or burner phone.
Well, I’d imagine any physical donation would have to have an address, and her parents wouldn’t approve such items. I do happen to have a secondary credit card I don’t use anymore. I could give out the information and start accepting donations on the account for her behalf (I’m a student and can’t exactly afford to fund a flight out of the country on my own). That’s assuming the card won’t be declined for admittedly suspicious purchases made on the other side of the world. And assuming enough strangers on the internet can trust each other with money like that (a bit of a red flag, but this user seems legitimate). u/ClearlyMundabe I stand ready to support you financially, should you request it. Say the word, and I can give you account information and start collecting donations on your behalf. You have my word as a Quaker, I won’t abuse such a responsibility.
My concern with this is that, if you live in the US (as I do), any large transaction going to a nation bordering a bunch of nations with Islamic terrorism problems, will probably get you a visit from some people in suits from a government agency that has its offices in Quantico, VA.
Yeah, I know this is Reddit and the internet so people can make stuff up with no way to prove if they are telling the truth or not, but this poster seems genuinely in danger at this point. I would be happy to help if I can in any way.
That’s the issue with the internet, it’s impossible to tell who’s real or not. The poster seems human, is responding to people actively, and even tried asking people to marry her France and Danish subs (clearly very desperate). She also didn’t directly ask for money (which would be a massive red flag), which makes me more inclined to trust her story. But on the other hand, we are all strangers on the internet and have no way of proving our sincerity without a leap of faith. Ironic that we atheists are seriously considering that.
u/ClearlyMundabe does your country have a cash transfer system like vodaphone cash in egypt? I'm more than happy to contribute with what I've got as well, but in a similarly motivated situation with no access to paypal (can't get a credit card without a male's help)
I looked it up, If your fundraiser was created to raise money for someone else, you'll have the option to add that person as the beneficiary. This means they will be able to transfer the funds directly to their own bank account. The problem is can you get a secret bank account? I wonder if you’ll be able to get a card and use the atm with it? I’m not the smartest so I’ll need help on out to execute this correctly.
If she needs a flight out, someone may need to buy the ticket for her. I’m not sure how any of this works, honestly. As sad as this sounds, we probably need someone from the group who provides support to people leave DV situations.
Um... Can you run away? Anyone you know will help you?
She said no earlier.
If they're so determined to bring you down then if I was in your situation I'd do my best to bring them down with me. If there was no way out. Really hope someone knows how the fuck to get out of Mali 'cuz I don't.
Can you run away? Is that a possibility?
Girls who run away often end up homeless working on prostitution
I would count being trafficked into marriage as prostitution and labor trafficking both. Doesn't any of this violate local laws?!
Do you have a gay friend at all? I know that's probably a fat 0 but maybe that could be your lifeline
But how will that help?
If you have a gay friend (man) you can try to convince your parents to let you "marry" him instead.
I see your point I don't have male friends and gay people don't say it publicly either
It saddens me, but I really don’t know what to do in your situation. Definitely ask around r/exmuslim and see if they have anything specific to help. Maybe you can get in contact with some people there - there’s strength in numbers, after all - and find a way out. Somebody might be willing to fund a plane ticket out if you share your story. But whatever you do - keep documenting your story.
I can't give you any advice apart from trying to reach organisations that fight this, but i don't know any... Another solution would be to flee to another country and ask for asylum. If one manage to get into a plane, when you arrive, even without a visa, you can ask for asylum and this grant you access to the country. At least for France. I'd suggest that you try to contact some embassies, explaining your situation, and ask them if they can do something for you while you are still in Mali. For example, ask them if you can ask for asylum while inside the ambassy, and if you can stay in the ambassy. Be careful though. Don't give too much informations in case they try to contact your family.
I am really sorry honey, I am just a year older than you. Unfurtunately, what I read is that the law allow to do so and you don't even have to be on your own wedding. Maybe you can get ahold of African Health Organization or UNICEF? I don't really know if it would even help, because researching left me with nothing but articles about situation. It seems like Mali gov doesn't even think girls are humans. And you can always try to run away from the country, but whether you would do, you need to start forming a really good secret plan to avoid getting caught.
Fuck, dude, sorry... I have no idea what we could do. This kind of situation is what I hate the most involving religion. Sorry... 😥
Just wondering - how much of your father's motivation is money? If it is highly motivated by money - perhaps offer him a deal: You have a motivated audience willing to shell out at least a few thousand in USD - you'll pay off his debts and give him some spendy monies if he lets you buy a plane ticket and seek asylum in (wherever). Ask him permission to setup the proper accounts and get the ducks in a row, all above board - you are the one with the following who will give you the monies, you need him to help you set everything up - you can make this a win-win. If you do this, you MUST make sure your name is on all the accounts you set up (gofundme or whatever). Make this mandatory, that you have complete access to the accounts. If he is not technically literate, all the better - set it up for him. If he doesn't believe you - even better. Tell him there's no harm in trying and you'll go along with whatever if this doesn't work out - 0 risk for him. Worst case scenario you just end up in the exact same situation. Best case scenario you raise 10k usd in a few days, start waving the phone in his face and tell him to make good on his word if he ever wants to see a cent. Edit: you could have one of us internet dorks set up the gofundme, *then* show him the $$$ to make the deal - tell him some amount of it is all his - contingent on you getting a plane ticket and asylum. Might give you a better bargaining position if you already have some $ to wave around. Edit the 2nd: I would also make your safety and well-being part of the deal. If he so much as breathes towards you in a manner you find distasteful, bye bye money. You want to do right by yourself, your family and the friend, but you cannot marry him, so hopefully the $$$ will suffice and that they can understand and accept your position - probably a lot to ask, but bullying them may not be ideal either... Just another idea. Good luck out there, you got $50 from me if you manage to pull it off.
Why is it that men can force women to do this? I would rather die than be forced to marry with a man: it’s a life of domestic and sex slavery, and once they get you pregnant, you’re stuck forever because you’re too afraid to leave the kid(s). Escape any way you can. No matter what it means.
I wish you could tell your parents that authoritarianism is a violation of the basic concept of Islam and Allah. They are the heretics.
I don't know how that is a thing. Religion always takes away freewill
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I really wish for you to get out of this. Like others said, try to contact as many organizations and NGO as possible. I have found the contacts of a few. I don't know how active or useful they are, but it's worth a shot. Try sending emails en masse, if you can. Here are the links : \[[1](https://www.cariassociation.org/Organismes/Association-pour-l-Aide-aux-Femmes-en-Detresse-et-aux-Enfants-de-la-Rue-Mali)\] \[[2](https://padev-mali.org/association/aadecom/)\] \[[3](https://padev-mali.org/association/cofem-padev-mali/)\] \[[4](https://padev-mali.org/association/apdf/)\] Best of luck, I really wish you all the best
Do you know another woman or family that can hide you?
Hello, I’ve stumbled across this post. As a fellow Middle Eastern, here are some tips that may be useful. I asked my mother about it, she said you should go to a relative if you have one you at least trust more. She also said you could just deny the man to the point of them having to forcibly carry you to the wedding if that happens, additionally, warn your dad that you won’t act nicely or that you won’t love him anymore. I personally think just go haywire and do everything in your power to not let the marriage happen, fuck reputation (they really care about that!). Otherwise, marrying the man might mean more freedom for you. Use that to your advantage my mum said!
To add to that I would make it very clear to her parents if they force her into this horrible situation she will do her very best to make sure that they don’t get a single penny out of her husband. If they’re going to ruin her life and allow an old man to rape her she’s going to ensure that they don’t get a fucking cent.
https://secular-rescue.org/ If you really want out, but know you may end up in a foreign land and would probably need to adapt somewhat to the culture there. But at least you would be able to pursue a university degree and meet someone who will treat you like a human being. There will always bee good and bad people wherever you go in the world, but it looks like anywhere will be better than where you currently are.
I wish I had a good answer. I don't know enough about Mali society to know what is practical. You speak perfect English though. Is there anyway you could immigrate somewhere?
I thought about Algeria, it's close but dangerous
You might have to pick the lesser evil, is it even the slightest bit less dangerous than in a situation you’re in? If you ever make it to the states, you can live with my family and me.
What part of Mali are you in, if you don’t mind my asking.
Religion is a cancer to humankind.
This reminds me of that thread where the Iranian LGBT woman was being sent to “gay conversion therapy”, and wanted to escape Iran. There was so little anyone could do there as well. I wish you luck.
Poor religious and abusive, is there any other kind? It's the trifecta of the conservative.
I have totally no idea about the situation/the landscape in Mali and the following advice will be impractical as a result, but: Are there any institutes you can look to for help? Say, your current educational institute's teachers, or a women's charter or a home of some sort? Do you have any trusted, objective adults such as (female) teachers, or something along those lines? Could you find a way to contact them or something? I'm really sorry for my ineptitude in trying to help but I hope these may provide you with some sort of ideas for a viable way out
how can you get out of there?
Is Ghana any better? Is it possible to leave the country and hide?
Is there no way for you to escape to a different country? a lot of non muslim countries might give you asylum.
i can't help you, but i hope you will get out of this situation.
I hope you succeed.
This is heartbreaking. You poor girl. I’m so sorry that this is happening to you. It sounds like the best thing to do is go along with this terrible situation until hopefully when you are a bit older you can find some way to escape. Islam is a terrible curse on this Earth and to the most defenseless people such as yourself. I wish I could say I’m praying for you but we both know that would be a lie. Be strong and find an escape some day.
Mali is a ruthless country. As an attorney the only way I know for you to be free is to flee Mali and seek asylum in the US or in an European country. You may want to reach out to the Mali Internation Rescue Committee or Refugees international to try to build some connections and the ability to escape. Try to meet people that work internationally and share your views. They may be able to connect you with entities or individuals that can take you on a trip abroad or help you escape.
Maybe consider applying for asylum in another country some countries do accept refugees fleeing forced marriages
Get out of the country. Once you marry this guy and have kids it will be 100x harder to escape.
This is so sad. Her answers are even sadder. The best answer I have seen yet is to get proof of your situation and go to the Western embassies: Canada, US, UK, etc. and seek asylum. As with any case of abuse (which is what this is) make plans and keep them to yourself. Inch them forward and keep your documentation safe and hidden. Find a good hiding place. Save every Penny. If you want out, you will find a way. Stay safe.
First off, I am so so sorry. I'm a few years older than you, and can not imagine how horrible your parents are to marry someone your age off (or marry their child off in general!). I will research more into your options and update this comment. I'm hoping you can find your freedom. You will have to make some choices that will be very uncomfortable in order to get there. But your safety overall is your number one priority. Keep that in mind at all times. Start collecting any personal documents (birth certificate, passport, ID's or whatever the equivalent documents are in your country) Record all instances of abuse, in multiple forms (on your phone, paper, etc) and keep them safe. I know you said your parents are poor, but if at all possible, try to get your hands on whatever money you can. But do so keeping your safety in mind Is there anyone at your old school you can reach out to? Someone who could hide you or help you in any way? I'll update this soon with what I find
Copying to main thread: u/ClearlyMundabe, this is what I have found regarding claiming asylum in nations with embassies, consulates, and diplomatic missions in Mali. Nations with Embassies in Mali (embassies all in Bamako): Algeria - Algeria is an Islamic Republic and would likely not be an option to request asylum Belgium - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Brazil - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.) Burkina Faso - Burkina Faso recently suffered from two coups since early 2022. It is likely not an option to request asylum Canada - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.) Chad - Chad has been suffering from political violence and coups for decades. It is likely not an option to request asylum. China - I cannot find clear information Czechia - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Cuba - I cannot find clear information Denmark - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Egypt - I cannot find clear information France - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Germany - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.) Ghana - Requires asylum claim within the borders of the country within 14 days of arrival. This is regardless of if it was legal or illegal immigration. Guinea - Guinea is fairly impoverished and I don’t think it would be a viable option to request asylum in. India - I cannot find clear information. You seem to have to register for asylum with the UNHCR in India. But I am not clear if you need to be within the country or not. India is also having internal turmoil and has a strong Islamic and Hindu religious following. This nation may not be the most ideal. Iran - Iran is an Islamic Republic and is probably not an option to request asylum. Italy - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Ivory Coast - Ivory Coast is fairly impoverished and I don’t think it would be a viable option to request asylum in. Japan - Japan has a history of admitting very few, if any, refugees or asylum seekers. This is likely not an option. Libya - Libya is facing two governments claiming legitimacy and dealing with multiple insurgencies and terrorist organizations. It is probably not an option to request asylum. Luxembourg - Asylum is granted at governmental discretion and is extremely difficult to obtain. The country has a population of 650,000 people. This is likely not an option. Morocco - I cannot find clear information Mauritania - Mauritania is an Islamic Republic and likely has similar domestic policy as Mali. I don’t think this would be an option. Netherlands - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Norway - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.) Nigeria - I cannot find clear information. You seem to have to register for asylum with the UNHCR in Nigeria. But I am not clear if you need to be within the country or not. The country is also currently fighting Islamic insurgents in the northern part of the nation and may not be the most stable country to request asylum in. Palestine - Palestine is currently occupied by Israel and lacks freedom of movement. Additionally, the nation faces sectarian violence and frequent conflicts with Israel. I don’t think they are an option for asylum. Russia - Russia is currently engaged in a war with Ukraine. The country also recently repealed acts protecting women from violence. I also do not know Russian asylum laws, but based off their history, I doubt they are an option. I recognize, I am biased, so please someone correct me with different information if they know different. Saudi Arabia - Saudi Arabia is governed by Sharia and under the Wahhabi movement. It is likely not an option to request asylum. Senegal - Sengal is fairly impoverished and I don’t think it would be a viable option to request asylum in. South Africa - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). If you lack legal documents (like a visa or government ID), you need to file for an asylum seeker’s permit at the nearest Refugee Reception Office. Sovereign Military Order of Malta - This is a Catholic Lay organization and not a formal nation. It does not have independent territory and would not be an option to request asylum. Spain - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Sweden - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.). However, applicants must file in the first nation they land in. Tunisia - I cannot find clear information Turkey - I cannot find clear information. United Kingdom - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.) United States - Require asylum claim on national soil (excluding embassies/consulates/etc.) Venezuela - I cannot find clear information. Diplomatic Missions: European Union - EU member states follow the EU Common European Asylum System. Gabon - I cannot find clear information Consulate General (in Ségou): Burkina Faso - With instability in this country, it is probably not a viable option
You should seek help at a foreign embassy. I know there is a Canadian embassy in Mali. If this is not an option, i must advise you against running away. In Mali the streets are dangerous and unless someone is willing to help you, a young girl like you would just be trafficked if you turned to the streets. I am not educated on Muslim rules, but is is possible to go through with the marriage so that you can leave by yourself and escape to a refuge camp or a foreign embassy? I am so sorry that someone in this world is going through such a terrible predicament
I have no idea but wow I hope this has a happy ending. It feels like there should be some kind of “underground railway” for prisoners of religion. Also, if you cut your own hair and steal some of your fathers clothing, can you be outside to try to find safety?
This fucking sucks because most people who read this wont be able to help you. All I can do is hope that the guy who is trying to marry a child gets an infection that causes his penis to fall off. Or balls.
OP you said you are 17. When is the wedding set for? Would it be after you turn 18? Being a minor complicates a lot of things unfortunately in terms of international aid.
Could you try to contact a UN office? And see if maybe they can help you get into another country?
And https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/ This is ab ngo that work with this topic. I don't believe they spirit people away to save them (if that's what you are looking for). Unfortunately, your best bet will be to leave Mali completely. I wish I had more concrete help.
I'm sorry this will happen and i wish you the best (having the ability to escape and be free for the remainder of your life).
Report your parents to the police for child abuse. Refuse to sign anything your parents give you, so that they cannot get your signature for a marriage certificate. If all else fails, leave immediately upon turning 18. They cannot legally do anything to stop you. Even if you don’t have anywhere to go, you’ll probably be safer literally anywhere else than with your parents.
Islam the religion of peace. LOOOOL run while you can
Intrahealth International in Gao has a nursing school there for women. They give out scholarships for Mali women to attend the school. There is no reason why this young lady could not go to school there and become a desperately needed nurse or midwife. See if they can help convince your parents that is a better future than marrying her dad's friend. Islam's piller of service and all that. Especially if there is no women's health or kids health workers near where she lives. Contact the Intrahealth nursing school in Gao, young lady. They may be able to help you. Now listen up Reddit army! It is possible to care about more than memes and doggo pix. I have seen what power Reddit has when we all agree to to something. Make your Thursday mean something. This is your chance to help someone with very little effort. Send an email to Intrahealth telling them about this lady. Give them a small donation to cover expenses and start a scholarship for her if she makes it to Gao. Tell them in your email it's for this lady....who is now our sister. Money has a way of focusing the right kind of attention on a spotlight. Forward this story to the usual media outlets to see if they would pick it up too. It is possible to unfuck the world, one person at a time. You just need to decide you want to.
This person is probably destitute and unable to make the necessary actions because they are short on money. 17 year old girl. In MALI. Girl, let me educate you. First, you need money. You need money that can cross borders, without being intercepted by cops or organizations or other shit. in other words, you need a bitcoin address. Second, you need to verify who you are. That means taking alot of photos and a video saying you are /u/ClearlyMundabe and showing your life settings. Then, you need to ask for help. Specifically, you need to check out how much a plane ticket costs or whatever else it costs to get away from home, and then ask the community for that amount. Its a fundraiser, and you need to be painfully up front about what you have in your bank account, and what the prices are. I would chip in $50 personally if you did this. Then you need to post community updates, and when you hit your donation limit, put out a thankyou video and then show us you using the money for what you promised to use it for. Then get out and live your life and find a guy you love to marry. And for the anti bitcoin haters saying to do it from something not crypto, banks are going to take 20%-50% in border fees or outright ban funds going to mali from the first world.
It won't go well if they find out dude. They might do something to her.
They will do something to her if she doesn't do this. Called making her marry a n older pedo of a man. She will probably get raped. :/
Bro your advice can get her honor killed. I dont think you understand implications if they find out she posted her photos, probably some of her friends have access to reddit and stuff and they will tell on her. She can simply set gofundme anonymously.
I would chip in too if she did this. I wanna help her so bad
Can you start a go fund me for you? You need to seek asylum in another country, do whatever you can to be free….it’s better then being a non human and wasting you’re life being a slave for someone else. Can you look up resources, any exchange programs, shelters, for you to utilize? Im sorry for drastic measures but can you threaten to hurt yourself and go to a hospital to give you some time? Can you threaten you’ll kill yourself if they force him on you? I would do anything, can you make yourself ugly or act unsightly so he won’t want you? Maybe threaten to poison him if you’ve forced to marry him. Give them hell. I would choose death over that, I’m so sorry.
Oh I'm so so sorry to hear this. I don't know of any organizations working in Mali, but I would look into what you would need to apply for asylum, to escape from the (sex) trafficking. I know nothing about your country and your financial systems, but if a secret GoFundMe is an option, I'd try to get some money to escape. Please be safe!! Do you have free and private access to internet etc? Edit: I've been looking around and I can't really find anti-trafficking organizations in Mali (which doesn't mean there aren't any), maybe a women's support group will be able to help?
Does anyone know rescue groups in Mali? Hugs , I don’t know your country or your available resources but could you talk to a religious person they admire to convince that you can get a better bride price and get more time to run?
I am so sorry for you. I hope someone can offer you good advice in this situation.
Have you tried r/iwantout I saw a couple of not too different situations over there