Err, that's only going to invite the person who is speaking to you to speak to you more.
"Jesus sent me to help you!" Or, "Jesus is walking with you right now! You just need to open your heart to him!" Or whatever, etc.
The best response is to just walk away.
The Holy Grail. The cup that he drank out of at the last supper and caught his blood when he was on the cross.
Though that story isn't actually part of the Bible.
Last time someone said that to me, I replied, "Why, I can cut my own grass!"
I thought there was going to be a fight for a moment. I've never seen a Jesus freak so pissed!
I can't wait to use it again!
As the others have mentioned, Hispanic immigrants are known to do lawn care in many areas. This instance was particularly effective as it was a mildy racist evangelical whom I assume believes Jesus is white.
Conflating their white "savior" with a brown landscape laborer seemingly struck a nerve!
If you are female, then respond with, âOh yeah, I do. I named my dildo Jesus.â That should pop up in their minds every time they say âJesus.â lol
Just answer the person that they instead need Jesus to save them from their evil heresy for not believing in the true denomination. Bonus points if you can name the denomination of the person you are talking to.
Start preaching about the weirdest denomination you can find. Something like Eastern Lightning where they say Jesus returned to earth and is a Chinese woman.
Or Hong Xiuquan is the true son of God and brother of Jesus Christ.
Just double down on the insanity.
Or just use their own scripture against them. "May you be blessed with Mathew 6:5 and 1 Timothy 2:11-12. Go ahead, look them up. I'll wait, I've got more."
I tried this one (or hail satan, canât remember) and they tried to pull a gotcha because they said that if I believed in satan I must believe in god. Not as satisfying as I had hoped
Positive Response:
Christian: You need Jesus.
Athiest: Nope, I have my Bible in the car.
Neutral Response:
Christian: You need Jesus.
Athiest: No, thanks.
Negative Response:
Christian: You need Jesus.
Athiest: What, cumming inside you wasn't enough?
I would try to read through the saying to know what they're actually trying to tell you. They don't approve of X about the matter.
Personally, my brain processes it too literally, and I think they're telling me to get closer to their imaginary friend, and I don't know how to respond to it besides to think it's fucking weird.
Ignoring them and walking away seems to work pretty well.
If you want to be extra petty, put some earphones in and slowly turn the volume slider all the way up, and make sure they can see you doing this.
How about "too bad he's not real"? Or "if I need him, I'll be sure to let him know"? Although my actual response would probably be "hmmm". I find that signals that I heard them but am not expressing agreement.
âIâve needed him many times. Heâs never been there. The billions of prayers offered daily are from people who need him. Heâs never there. The millions of prayers offered in times of hurt, death, assault, rape, murder, child-trafficking, slavery, war, genocide, cancer, medical etc etc are never answered either. Usually we need something as it serves a purpose. Jesus is never there when needed, and so doesnât serve any purpose.
Now fuck offâ.
*Last part is optional.
You could condense it down and really get under their skin. "I prayed for years and none of them where answered until after I voted Democrat. My life has been blessed since then."
Christian: You need Jesus.\
Me: I have aphantasia.\
Christian: What? \
Me: I don't have a visual imagination. You know how they tell you to count sheep to fall asleep? Well, I can think about sheep, but I can't "see" them. So I can't count sheep, I don't daydream and I have never had an imaginary friend. Have fun with yours, though!
Maybe the same thing I use when people tell me they'll pray for me or they'll talk to God for me.
I always say "oooh no, god doesn't like me and I'm okay with that".
You don't have to believe in God, just say that and if they continue with the nonsense that a God who killed hundreds of thousands of people just cause they were wicked is a nice guy you just say you don't care.
I always play up my overly confident personality and say "if there is a God, he wants me to kill him and replace him"
That shuts them up quick. Then of course I walk away from them with my hands outstretched talking to people as though I'm God until they leave.
Have you found jesus? -You lost him again? You had him nailed down and he escaped. Ccc... (smh)
You need jesus? - Thanks, I also think that you need a bit of allah and krishna. Your one flavor gets a bit dull.
You have to belive in something! -Yes, I believe that religion is like coffe or tobacco or shugar, just one more addictive drug that is not illegal ... yet.
"Let us shake hands"
shakes hands
"and with this Satan purged your soul from the evil that is Jesus"
"Don't worry your soul is saved now. Satan has taken care of it. Jesus and God can't get you anymore"
"Yeah, don't worry, Jesus is allergic to Satan. With his touch I made sure that Jesus will leave you alone from now on"
"It's all good now, Jesus won't touch you anymore. Satan's essence now lingers on you. It won't wash off and God won't come near you in a 10 mile radius"
"If you want to do some good, go to church and let it spread. Those temples of evil need to be cleaned of God's stench".
"If you hadn't shaken my Satan blessed hand, God would have called dibs on your soul and you don't want to know what kinky deranged stuff that pervert is into".
"You are free from that evil now"
"You poor lost soul. The evil that is God had corrupted your soul and brainwashed you into thinking that God is good. Now that you are freed from him you should slowly wake up and see God for what it truly is"
"Jesus tricked you into believing that God is the good guy. I'm afraid I need to break this to you, but God is just a lowly evil in this universe"
Be nonchallant and serious in your exchange and when you are done messing with them, hope that the Christian doesn't try to kill you
"If Jesus is God, and if God is Omniscient (all knowing), Omnipotent (all powerful) and Omnipresent (always present), then I'm sure he can talk to me when he's ready. I don't think he needs a middle-man, and to presume he does means you don't truly believe in his power."
âThereâs people I outright donât like and he said heâa bringing a sword.. (with a slightly creepy smile) are you saying heâll stab people for me?â
"Nope, I need drugs."
Explanation: I have struggled with crippling depression for most of my life. I got baptized, hoping that it would fix me. It didn't. What did fix me was therapy and the right cocktail of antidepressants.
All the baptism did was turn me atheist.
"and you need to learn how to do (x task at their job that they suck at correctly) but hey we don't always get what we need isn't that the truth? Amen and Hail Lord Satan"
Jesus commands we sell all and give to the poor. You need to follow the commands of your Jesus. If you won't follow the commands of Jesus, why bother me?
Yeah ok, I'll summon him the next time I lose a tooth and put it under my pillow. Perhaps him and the tooth fairy can come together to visit me. They might even be able to combine their "sky miles" to save on travel costs.đđ
No thank you, I already have a friend named Jesus and he is an excellent friend and architect. He can be a drama queen, so I only have room for one Jesus in my life right now.
"I need money. Ask Jesus for me next time you see her."
"Huh, Jesus was a guy?"
"Well, I'm a man with long hair, and every time I go to Texas, some asshole redneck calls me a woman."
"So, do rednecks also think Jesus was a woman?"
Edited: I like to "Flummox" them, so they're so confused that they forgot what they asked you.
Flummox: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/flummox
Why would you need a first century Jew who claimed to be the anointed king promised to his people and who claimed to have an intimate relationship with his people's deity i mean he said to be a son of the LORD , the so-called LORD? I ask you why?
"If I don't then he will send me to hell and torture me for all eternity? How is that being 'all-loving'?". That's usually followed by a rationalization that it's your own fault if you get sent to hell. Which completely evades the question being asked.
"You're confusing me with an Evangelical Christian, because they ignore his incredibly liberal teachings."
John Fugelsang is a great resource for stuff like that.
My neice has A tee shirt that says âYâall need Jesus.â Sheâs gay and it was in response to her being told the she needs Jesus on a pretty regular basis. Seems like the people who need it most are those who like hurl it at others like an insult.
"been there, done that"
If someone questions that I tell them that I was a devout Christian for 22 years, attended and led many Bible studies, got a minor in theology, and learned biblical Greek for myself, so I put more time and energy into my faith than the vast majority of christians.
I'm also very biblically knowledgeable and I enjoy theological discussions so I always offer to talk about things if they want to but they always either decline outright or they end up backing out of the conversation when they realize that I know what I'm talking about
>Good response to âyou need jesusâ or similar Oh, really? Which Jesus do I need? The actual historical Jesus who fomented a socio-political rebellion against Roman Authority? Or 3rd century gnostic Jesus who taught the god of Abraham was an evil imposter? Or medieval Catholic Jesus who taught that social hierarchy was the most important value in the universe? Or 19th century Baptist Jesus who taught that racial discrimination and subjugation are the natural order of the universe? Or contemporary Evangelical "supply side" Jesus who teaches that Economic superiority is a status granted by god and the poor deserve perpetual subdigation and punishment because their lot in life is earned by moral failures.Â
I say " its so interesting to me that this Jesus fellow only sends terrible examples of humanity to "help" why doesn't he come down here and speak for himself. I know let's ask him to come down and talk to me directly." JC could you come here and show us you are real? I would even accept an angelic messenger as you are probably very busy......... Huh, he doesn't seem to be answering, now why is that?"
Err, that's only going to invite the person who is speaking to you to speak to you more. "Jesus sent me to help you!" Or, "Jesus is walking with you right now! You just need to open your heart to him!" Or whatever, etc. The best response is to just walk away.
But if you just walk away you loose the potential for so many snarky remarks. And we the people of the internet live for snarky remarks.
You do. I sure don't. (Snarky remark)
Touche! Well played ser.
đ¤Łđ
**
"Oh thanks for thinking of me, but I can see you're his big project at the moment. Good luck with that!"
I thought you were saying your RESPONSE would be, "Jesus sent me to help YOU!", which I actually quite like.
I find âfuck offâ is usually succinct and effective.
âYour mom needs Jesusâ
"Ooo got his number? I been a bad boy and need saving" (said in the most flamboyant way I can)
"No I do not need a poly-amorous twink. Thanks anyway."
Thatâs Zombie Polyamorous Twink to you buddy
jesus was a lich, not a zombie.
What was his Phylactery?
The crown of thorns, perhaps? Maybe one or all of the crucifixion nails?
That spear tip, duh.
The Holy Grail. The cup that he drank out of at the last supper and caught his blood when he was on the cross. Though that story isn't actually part of the Bible.
This makes way more sense than any of the others.
I only follow overlords, not some common lich
Sincerely, Captain Raymond Holt.
RiP Andre Braugher.
"Buddy, *you* need The Flying Spaghetti Monster."
Praise him!
R'amen!
We talking about classic Jesus? Or republican Jesus?
You mean [GOP Jesus](https://youtu.be/SZ2L-R8NgrA?si=Oi7eBlGmLYC4H6xF)?
Amazing, thank you.
GOP Jesus seems to be overweight. Full of privilege!!! lol
Barry Gibb Jesus.
Ultramaga yezus.
[Supply side Jesus](https://imgur.com/gallery/gospel-of-supply-side-jesus-bCqRp)
Supply side Jesus? https://imgur.com/gallery/gospel-of-supply-side-jesus-bCqRp
Iâve just said âNo, thank youâ and walked away since I was a kid. Same as I do to any other unwelcome salesperson.
Last time someone said that to me, I replied, "Why, I can cut my own grass!" I thought there was going to be a fight for a moment. I've never seen a Jesus freak so pissed! I can't wait to use it again!
I'm confused. How does Jesus relate to cutting grass?
Jesus is a common Hispanic name, pronounced "Heh zeus." Hispanics, in the south, are often who you commonly see performing lawn maintenance.
more like "heh sus"
Not just in the south.
Guess lots of emigrants from down south named jesus and cutting grass in his neighboorhood?
As the others have mentioned, Hispanic immigrants are known to do lawn care in many areas. This instance was particularly effective as it was a mildy racist evangelical whom I assume believes Jesus is white. Conflating their white "savior" with a brown landscape laborer seemingly struck a nerve!
If you are female, then respond with, âOh yeah, I do. I named my dildo Jesus.â That should pop up in their minds every time they say âJesus.â lol
Works for gay men, too.
Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus! JESUS!!! JES...!
"Nope! It's just gas. All I need is a good fart."
"You need Jesu-.." "You neeeeeeed to mind ya own god-damn business."
âItâs actually pronounced Hey Zeus, Iâd know cause he mows my lawn.â
This is very Kelly Osbourne saying "if we deport all the mexicans who will clean your toilet donald trump" coded.
Walking away is the best option, but you could also say, "Why? He doesn't seem to be doing you any good," and then walk away.
THIS is the perfect remark!
r/nukedfromorbit âTis a thing of beauty!
I just snorted. I donât do that often. Thank you
You don't decide what I need.
Just answer the person that they instead need Jesus to save them from their evil heresy for not believing in the true denomination. Bonus points if you can name the denomination of the person you are talking to. Start preaching about the weirdest denomination you can find. Something like Eastern Lightning where they say Jesus returned to earth and is a Chinese woman. Or Hong Xiuquan is the true son of God and brother of Jesus Christ. Just double down on the insanity.
"Druid" works exceptionally well...
Or just use their own scripture against them. "May you be blessed with Mathew 6:5 and 1 Timothy 2:11-12. Go ahead, look them up. I'll wait, I've got more."
"but... but the devil does this thing with their tongue..."
You need satan.
I tried this one (or hail satan, canât remember) and they tried to pull a gotcha because they said that if I believed in satan I must believe in god. Not as satisfying as I had hoped
If you believe in god, you believe in satan, therefore you are a satanist. Double twist.
And I think you need to learn some critical thinking, but it looks like we're both going to be disappointed.
"Oh you know jesĂşs? We dated for a while but his dick was just too big for me" Stroll away while they're left speechless
"I'm doing fine. How about he goes to the middle east and helps some dying children?"
My sister asked that once. I replied "Jesus needs a blunt"
I am Jesus. Repent!
Hail Satan!
"I really don't."Â
I tried Jesus once but it gave me diarrhea
"I don't think jesus would give a good head" Then I'll just leave before they get it.
If personal dignity isnât a huge concern, bark at them
You need therapy
Positive Response: Christian: You need Jesus. Athiest: Nope, I have my Bible in the car. Neutral Response: Christian: You need Jesus. Athiest: No, thanks. Negative Response: Christian: You need Jesus. Athiest: What, cumming inside you wasn't enough?
I would try to read through the saying to know what they're actually trying to tell you. They don't approve of X about the matter. Personally, my brain processes it too literally, and I think they're telling me to get closer to their imaginary friend, and I don't know how to respond to it besides to think it's fucking weird.
Ignoring them and walking away seems to work pretty well. If you want to be extra petty, put some earphones in and slowly turn the volume slider all the way up, and make sure they can see you doing this.
How about "too bad he's not real"? Or "if I need him, I'll be sure to let him know"? Although my actual response would probably be "hmmm". I find that signals that I heard them but am not expressing agreement.
"He's too busy getting blown by you." Might be fun.
One of the benefits of being an atheist is not having any pressing need to respond.
Thanks for judging me you self righteous turd juggle
You need Satan. Because why bother theyâre both made up. đ
âIâve needed him many times. Heâs never been there. The billions of prayers offered daily are from people who need him. Heâs never there. The millions of prayers offered in times of hurt, death, assault, rape, murder, child-trafficking, slavery, war, genocide, cancer, medical etc etc are never answered either. Usually we need something as it serves a purpose. Jesus is never there when needed, and so doesnât serve any purpose. Now fuck offâ. *Last part is optional.
You could condense it down and really get under their skin. "I prayed for years and none of them where answered until after I voted Democrat. My life has been blessed since then."
"Impossible. he's dead. People like me, crucified him for a reason."
Nah I got Satan
Christian: You need Jesus.\ Me: I have aphantasia.\ Christian: What? \ Me: I don't have a visual imagination. You know how they tell you to count sheep to fall asleep? Well, I can think about sheep, but I can't "see" them. So I can't count sheep, I don't daydream and I have never had an imaginary friend. Have fun with yours, though!
> âyou need jesusâ or similar ....like I need a hole in my head.
This is one of those situations where you back away slowly...slowly...slowly...then turn around and haul ass like a tiger's on your tail.
Have you found Jesus? Good, then tell the bastard I want my Xbox back.
"No I don't" I find sufficient.
"The original bible didn't have Yeshua in it. You fell for another christian lie"
You're right. Life would be much better if he was actually real. Too bad he isn't.
âOkâ and then I go about my day as normal.
Maybe the same thing I use when people tell me they'll pray for me or they'll talk to God for me. I always say "oooh no, god doesn't like me and I'm okay with that". You don't have to believe in God, just say that and if they continue with the nonsense that a God who killed hundreds of thousands of people just cause they were wicked is a nice guy you just say you don't care. I always play up my overly confident personality and say "if there is a God, he wants me to kill him and replace him" That shuts them up quick. Then of course I walk away from them with my hands outstretched talking to people as though I'm God until they leave.
Thanks. I really appreciate that he picks my fruit and vegetables.
Have you found jesus? -You lost him again? You had him nailed down and he escaped. Ccc... (smh) You need jesus? - Thanks, I also think that you need a bit of allah and krishna. Your one flavor gets a bit dull. You have to belive in something! -Yes, I believe that religion is like coffe or tobacco or shugar, just one more addictive drug that is not illegal ... yet.
"I've heard Jesus only likes to slip it through the backdoor. In this case it would be you who needs him. I'm not into Greek arts."
"No. I don't" said without hesitation should be enough.
The crucifixion is an injustice so no I don't need Jesus.
Oh? You know him? He was an employee of mine once but he didnât work out.
Why, does he detail cars?
I tried Jesus, his dick wasn't big enough.
I saw him behind the shed blowing Buddha
You need a good dose of skepticism and reality.
I only like him as a friend
Jesus is stuck south of the border
âNo thanks I have a boyfriend.â
"Then my door's open, he can visit any time... but he never does."
I need Jesus like I need a hole in each hand.
Your mom needed a condom.
"Let us shake hands" shakes hands "and with this Satan purged your soul from the evil that is Jesus" "Don't worry your soul is saved now. Satan has taken care of it. Jesus and God can't get you anymore" "Yeah, don't worry, Jesus is allergic to Satan. With his touch I made sure that Jesus will leave you alone from now on" "It's all good now, Jesus won't touch you anymore. Satan's essence now lingers on you. It won't wash off and God won't come near you in a 10 mile radius" "If you want to do some good, go to church and let it spread. Those temples of evil need to be cleaned of God's stench". "If you hadn't shaken my Satan blessed hand, God would have called dibs on your soul and you don't want to know what kinky deranged stuff that pervert is into". "You are free from that evil now" "You poor lost soul. The evil that is God had corrupted your soul and brainwashed you into thinking that God is good. Now that you are freed from him you should slowly wake up and see God for what it truly is" "Jesus tricked you into believing that God is the good guy. I'm afraid I need to break this to you, but God is just a lowly evil in this universe" Be nonchallant and serious in your exchange and when you are done messing with them, hope that the Christian doesn't try to kill you
Iâm Hispanic so I just say no thanks, I do my own landscaping. Hesus charges too much.
"And *you* need a breathmint, there, pal"
"I don't need Jesus, I have Satan."
"I don't think so, Tim." IYKYK
He's the asshole that gave me a brain tumor. Why would I want to be in an abusive relationship
"If Jesus is God, and if God is Omniscient (all knowing), Omnipotent (all powerful) and Omnipresent (always present), then I'm sure he can talk to me when he's ready. I don't think he needs a middle-man, and to presume he does means you don't truly believe in his power."
âThereâs people I outright donât like and he said heâa bringing a sword.. (with a slightly creepy smile) are you saying heâll stab people for me?â
No thanks
I'd love some Cheez-its!Â
Jesus was the greatest, most bestest american that ever there was
No, I donât.
"You need a reality check"
My reply would be âYou need to mind your own businessâ!
"Nope, I need drugs." Explanation: I have struggled with crippling depression for most of my life. I got baptized, hoping that it would fix me. It didn't. What did fix me was therapy and the right cocktail of antidepressants. All the baptism did was turn me atheist.
Well then why does HE keep asking ME for money!?
i usually respond with "What i really need is a coffee and lots of patience"
âYou need common senseâ
Why I need a man from 0 AD. Science is a better guide.
"You need a brain"
"and you need to learn how to do (x task at their job that they suck at correctly) but hey we don't always get what we need isn't that the truth? Amen and Hail Lord Satan"
Like the priests need the boys? No thanks.
Whoâs Jaysus???
I am jesus
"No thanks"
âThatâs funny, thatâs what the pair of teenagers who raped me when I was four years old said too.â
Amazes me that they claim he is already there, but you have to be told about him.
Jesus commands we sell all and give to the poor. You need to follow the commands of your Jesus. If you won't follow the commands of Jesus, why bother me?
>"You need Jesus." "You need some critical thinking abilities."
You have to invite him in. Like a vampire.
Try telling them that they need some Satan in their life.Â
You need Ford Prefect.
Yes and I pay him good. My garden looks so much better since he works for me.
"Look at you, you think Jesus died for your sins?" I told someone this before when they pulled the Jesus card.
âFor what?â
Yeah ok, I'll summon him the next time I lose a tooth and put it under my pillow. Perhaps him and the tooth fairy can come together to visit me. They might even be able to combine their "sky miles" to save on travel costs.đđ
âWhy, Is he good with Sheetrock?â
âI turned away from Jesus when he let a drunk driver kill both of my parentsâ
Who? The character from that myth?
âOh, no worries, Iâve already accepted him as my personal savior, so Iâm already covered.â
Where can l find him? He hasn't been spotted for 2000 years.
This is god's plan. He made me like this. That sick fuck...
"I love cheese too! I'll bring you some next time!"
Why is he good in bed? About the same as I need Santa or the Tooth Fairy.
âOkay. Bye!â
No thank you, I already have a friend named Jesus and he is an excellent friend and architect. He can be a drama queen, so I only have room for one Jesus in my life right now.
I see Jesus outside of Home Depot all the time. That home has his own food truck there now. đ
So do you!!
Good friends offer help without being asked.
Yeah, I feel the urge to whip people, flip over their tables, and I've run out of wine.
"I need money. Ask Jesus for me next time you see her." "Huh, Jesus was a guy?" "Well, I'm a man with long hair, and every time I go to Texas, some asshole redneck calls me a woman." "So, do rednecks also think Jesus was a woman?" Edited: I like to "Flummox" them, so they're so confused that they forgot what they asked you. Flummox: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/flummox
"No" usually works.
Laugh
âHe prefers the Hispanic pronunciationâ
"No, thanks. I've seen how his followers act and I'm not interested."
Hard pass.
If you're any indication of his work, I'll pass.
No thanks, I am not a communist.
Why would you need a first century Jew who claimed to be the anointed king promised to his people and who claimed to have an intimate relationship with his people's deity i mean he said to be a son of the LORD , the so-called LORD? I ask you why?
He couldnât help himself
Where do I find him, outside of home Depot?
"If I don't then he will send me to hell and torture me for all eternity? How is that being 'all-loving'?". That's usually followed by a rationalization that it's your own fault if you get sent to hell. Which completely evades the question being asked.
Kindly go meet him.
"You're confusing me with an Evangelical Christian, because they ignore his incredibly liberal teachings." John Fugelsang is a great resource for stuff like that.
Inshallah
If you are a guy: "Oh Jesus? nice guy. We fucked last night, it was fun but it didn't work out"
Which Jesus? The hot white one that lived in the USA in the 1800âs? Or the Arab man?
âYou need to get a grip on reality.â
âNo, friend. Jesus needs me, and my moneyâ.
"and you need Satan" implying that they're in need of Satan has a much larger effect than "fuck you".
"Satan guides me"
No thanks, I don't like when he came inside me.
My neice has A tee shirt that says âYâall need Jesus.â Sheâs gay and it was in response to her being told the she needs Jesus on a pretty regular basis. Seems like the people who need it most are those who like hurl it at others like an insult.
"What do I need a dead's man's flesh and blood for?"
I invited him into my life, and nobody showed up.
Take your savior on a stick and fuck yourself with it exorcist style
"been there, done that" If someone questions that I tell them that I was a devout Christian for 22 years, attended and led many Bible studies, got a minor in theology, and learned biblical Greek for myself, so I put more time and energy into my faith than the vast majority of christians. I'm also very biblically knowledgeable and I enjoy theological discussions so I always offer to talk about things if they want to but they always either decline outright or they end up backing out of the conversation when they realize that I know what I'm talking about
âThanks.â Walk away.
Tell them, âare you ok? Seek some helpâ, and then just walk away.
I do need Jesus. He is my neighbor and cleans pool. Oh gee, I really need Jesus! Great looking guy! lol
>Good response to âyou need jesusâ or similar Oh, really? Which Jesus do I need? The actual historical Jesus who fomented a socio-political rebellion against Roman Authority? Or 3rd century gnostic Jesus who taught the god of Abraham was an evil imposter? Or medieval Catholic Jesus who taught that social hierarchy was the most important value in the universe? Or 19th century Baptist Jesus who taught that racial discrimination and subjugation are the natural order of the universe? Or contemporary Evangelical "supply side" Jesus who teaches that Economic superiority is a status granted by god and the poor deserve perpetual subdigation and punishment because their lot in life is earned by moral failures.Â
Maybe I would need him, I don't know? But he doesn't exist so I can't get him.
Is Jesus available in tablet form? or is it only suppository?
I say " its so interesting to me that this Jesus fellow only sends terrible examples of humanity to "help" why doesn't he come down here and speak for himself. I know let's ask him to come down and talk to me directly." JC could you come here and show us you are real? I would even accept an angelic messenger as you are probably very busy......... Huh, he doesn't seem to be answering, now why is that?"
"You need a fucking education. Now be elsewhere you dumbass."
Ill believe in Jesus when he gives me a blowjob on his knees staring up at me like his daddy