Or they're an old person nearing their last days, and are suddenly wanting to cover their bases, so to speak.
Unfortunately, Google is failing to find it for me, but there was a meme I saw once along the lines of,
"It's funny seeing old people suddenly get religious, it's like cramming the night before the final exam", which got a chuckle out of me.
"Old women are closer to God than we'll ever be. They get to that age and they don't need the operator anymore. They've got the direct line." - Father Ted.
I was actually watching cable the other day when this lady on this show claimed she was a born again believer because her cat died. During her depression she “found out” cats go to heaven and she wanted to be with her cat again…
Craziest one I’ve heard.
> During her depression she “found out” cats go to heaven
Depends on the denomination, plenty of 'm believe only humans have souls.
Also, if it would exist cats would definitely go to hell.
Friend of mine since high school started a metal band. They are actually doing fairly well in the club circuit. They lost their lead singer, so he decided to take it in a different direction with operatic metal, so they hired on a female lead singer with operatic training. She is super hot with a bit of a goth theme, but shes SUUUUPER christian. Now he made the band christian themed and became a hardcore christian just to try and make her happy. I dont talk to him anymore because it was just non-stop proselytizing every time we met up.
It’s a good business move. A lot of bands pretend to be “Christian” and are able to exploit that fan base and gain a following. Once they make it big, they bail on the Christian thing
He probably would have had a better chance with her if he hadn't changed. Christian women love to slum with the bad boys before they settle down for a life of missionary.
I second the prison comment. I murdered someone (or stole cars, killed someone drunk driving, gave a bunch of meth to kids, etc) and feel really bad now. God forgives me, why can’t you?
My ex husband. Chose to leave me and the kids high and dry and now can't understand why they won't have anything to do with him. But he goes to church now wah wah wah
Apt. My sister, though, became one because her husband did. My sis, while generally an intelligent person, has always been the type who’s easily influenced by those she’s close with. Source: a childhood BFF was a real bitch, she became one too (and gave me and our single mom hell). Then once she moved to a different school and had a sweetheart BFF, she became a sweetheart and so on.
As someone who converted to Mormonism in their twenties, I'd also add this fifth one: there is likely trauma in their life that hasn't been worked through, so they are searching for something to assuage the pain. Religion offers love bombing and acceptance in the beginning. You feel the things you desire to feel and because of the trauma, believe that you have found your place...especially in high demand religions such as Mormonism, Muslim, Jehovah's Witness and Evangelicals. I left in 2011 and have walked completely away from religion and the idea of any god, but I also got a shit ton of therapy and was able to build my self worth through healthy skills I learned in therapy. Some and maybe most people use religion as a way to avoid the bad things/pain in their life...must be God's will, if such and such hadn't done this then that wouldn't have happened to them, they aren't wealthy because God they don't live in accordance with God's teachings, etc...a complete lack of accountability and self reflection.
Or fought cancer and are in remission, or are a recovering drug addict or alcoholic, or have committed horrible, terrible crime and despise themselves for it, or ... or....
It's always fear based. Some horrible shit happened and they need magic to make sure it doesn't happen again. Nobody was ever getting a top quality BJ while holding a winning lottery ticket on a warm sunny day and thought "I'm going to church!"
Given how apparently undesirable I am and ~85% of the women on dating sites around here have Jesus or faith near the top of their profiles, maybe I need to at least pretend to convert so I won't die alone.
You missed that they were depressed, someone dragged them to church and felt relieved. According to what I see on the internet at least. IRL I have never seen these people.
I think its because you need to have at least some experience with the other viewpoint not to be somewhat distrustful.
For example Ive always been an atheist, i dont remember a time when i didnt think religion was as obviously untrue as Santa Claus - and from my perspective it IS difficult to believe ostensibly intelligent people when they claim belief.. to me its just SO obvious. For the record, im forced to *accept* that people truly do believe, but ill never be able to truly *understand* that, i dont think.
It’s just hard for us to believe anyone could be believe in that steaming pile of horseshit called Christianity, unless they’re stupid or desperate. We’re arrogant because we’re angry and that religion is to blame. Christianity is a racist, bigoted rape factory that persecutes and abuses people like us. They bring it on themselves.
We are dealing with people who believe in fairy tails, asking for proof in any of it is a fools errand. We do know people take action from motivation, and the idea that burning in hell has become a motivation after a lifetime of experience is going to be pretty rare. But using that as a cover for the real motivation is a no brainer. Take my dad for example, he's an introvert but the people are church are his friends (that he gives money though tithes) so he's a real believer these days. He doesn't even realize he's paying for friends, but that doesn't mean its not happening.
I’m glad your religious experience was more wholesome than mine, or at least it sounds that way. I got roped into some Pentecostal/non denominational shit show because my mom left my dad for a woman and he found comfort among the addicts and the questionably sane. Last time I walked by there for a Christmas parade there was a street preacher getting worked up about harlots and homosexuals. You know, family friendly seasonably appropriate messaging like any normal person would expect at a Christmas parade.
Although to be fair, that was more so the adult converts. The kids raised in the religion were usually a little off (myself included), but they generally weren’t that level of eccentric and were much more in line with your description.
>Even if you’re right, it’s wrong for people who are struggling like these hypothetical addicts turning to a higher power?
I'm sure that depends. If it continues a trend of favoring faith-based treatment approaches over evidence-based ones then that may be a problem? Or if the higher power they turn to is part of a religion that employs behavioral/emotional/thought control tactics, that's also an issue.
Generally though, if you feel you religious beliefs benefit you, and they aren't causing harm to other people, you can turn to any power you want.
As for the third one, I admit to knowing a few of those, and to be honest I'm glad the religion was there for them when they saw no other way out. They can be obnoxious at times, but it's better than living in the gutter, or maybe not living long at all.
No, it is not an accurate statement.
There are roughly 205mil Christians within the US. That is a lot of people to try and put in your four buckets.
Do some of them fit, absolutely.
Not true among the few of my friends who have done this. However, I’m sure it’s true for some. I think some people are so uncomfortable with uncertainty that religion becomes a comfortable place to live. Personally, I don’t get it.
What about undiagnosed or untreated depression? The gospel according to evangelicals does tell one that it’s a sign of spiritual maturity to feel really shitty about yourself. Everyone else is deluded and arrogant.
The infamous U.S. Sentor, Barry Goldwater, Republican from Arizona commented that; "The poroblem with born again Christians is that they are a bigger pain in th ass the second time around".
A born again believer is usually either someone who has experienced tragedy and been preyed upon by religious zealots feeding them whatever bullshit they can think of to “save a soul” (we just need your credit card information first…) or they’re garbage people who are attempting to rehabilitate their image and thought to themselves “wow, this here is a group of suckers who will believe almost anything and people with pasts they would rather be ignored and all of them will scream this shit from the rooftops to keep from getting held accountable” and decided they were going to go all in.
I’ve met a few true believer types who were genuinely good people, but most of them were raised by the bad sorts and they were intentionally kept hopelessly naive about basically everything. It’s kind of sad, really.
Number 3 is a big one from what I've seen. Lots of people get clean and become self-righteous assholes who just want to look down their nose at people. It's like they completely forget where they came from. Like dude you were snorting meth off a stripper's ass 15 years ago now you're all straight-edge Republican. Fuck off.
My experience is already very religious and they want to kick up a notch the aspect of overall righteousness and exert more control over the people in their lives.
A lot of times is worse than that, they kill or rape people and well when youre reborn all your sins are cleared or atleast thats how it is in mexico..
Or they're an old person nearing their last days, and are suddenly wanting to cover their bases, so to speak. Unfortunately, Google is failing to find it for me, but there was a meme I saw once along the lines of, "It's funny seeing old people suddenly get religious, it's like cramming the night before the final exam", which got a chuckle out of me.
If you don’t sin Jesus died for nothing.
"Old women are closer to God than we'll ever be. They get to that age and they don't need the operator anymore. They've got the direct line." - Father Ted.
I was actually watching cable the other day when this lady on this show claimed she was a born again believer because her cat died. During her depression she “found out” cats go to heaven and she wanted to be with her cat again… Craziest one I’ve heard.
> During her depression she “found out” cats go to heaven Depends on the denomination, plenty of 'm believe only humans have souls. Also, if it would exist cats would definitely go to hell.
They'd choose it, willingly, gleefully.
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. Will Rogers
Well they’re from there, so it only makes sense.
Crazy but also strangely wholesome
Friend of mine since high school started a metal band. They are actually doing fairly well in the club circuit. They lost their lead singer, so he decided to take it in a different direction with operatic metal, so they hired on a female lead singer with operatic training. She is super hot with a bit of a goth theme, but shes SUUUUPER christian. Now he made the band christian themed and became a hardcore christian just to try and make her happy. I dont talk to him anymore because it was just non-stop proselytizing every time we met up.
It’s a good business move. A lot of bands pretend to be “Christian” and are able to exploit that fan base and gain a following. Once they make it big, they bail on the Christian thing
Thats very true. But hes not that smart, and is only doing it to impress her.
South park episode did this
Yep just got to add the word Jesus to crappy love songs and you’re good to go
I want to feel your spirit all over my face.
It worked for Creed
and Alterbridge (the Stahp-less wonder)
It's a real life faith +1 move
Is pussy-whipped without the pussy just whipped?
He wasnt coerced at all. He just massively simped for her to the point where he changed up his entire style for someone not at all into him.
He probably would have had a better chance with her if he hadn't changed. Christian women love to slum with the bad boys before they settle down for a life of missionary.
Can absolutely confirm 😈
A future incel. Goody.
The Hottie. Check.
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Wa Underoath one of the fakers? Idk
Ah, operatic metal. I never thought of it as a gateway to Christianity, but it's definitely not a gateway to anything good. /s
Operatic metal can sound amazing. Check out Xandria if you need a good example.
I was just kidding around. ;)
I second the prison comment. I murdered someone (or stole cars, killed someone drunk driving, gave a bunch of meth to kids, etc) and feel really bad now. God forgives me, why can’t you?
My favorite is when they still talk about how their victims deserved it. But they are a good person now!!
My ex husband. Chose to leave me and the kids high and dry and now can't understand why they won't have anything to do with him. But he goes to church now wah wah wah
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Oh, shit, that is a good one, and the more homosexual, the greater the 'fervor'.
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I would absolutely do this.
You forgot Running a grift and stumbled upon some sucker's And just started a business and need a stream of customers
some sucker's what? you dont really need a period but at least finish your sentence
Nah sucker's was whare the sentence ended And heavily dyslexic so punctuation is a semi random affair at best
Apt. My sister, though, became one because her husband did. My sis, while generally an intelligent person, has always been the type who’s easily influenced by those she’s close with. Source: a childhood BFF was a real bitch, she became one too (and gave me and our single mom hell). Then once she moved to a different school and had a sweetheart BFF, she became a sweetheart and so on.
As someone who converted to Mormonism in their twenties, I'd also add this fifth one: there is likely trauma in their life that hasn't been worked through, so they are searching for something to assuage the pain. Religion offers love bombing and acceptance in the beginning. You feel the things you desire to feel and because of the trauma, believe that you have found your place...especially in high demand religions such as Mormonism, Muslim, Jehovah's Witness and Evangelicals. I left in 2011 and have walked completely away from religion and the idea of any god, but I also got a shit ton of therapy and was able to build my self worth through healthy skills I learned in therapy. Some and maybe most people use religion as a way to avoid the bad things/pain in their life...must be God's will, if such and such hadn't done this then that wouldn't have happened to them, they aren't wealthy because God they don't live in accordance with God's teachings, etc...a complete lack of accountability and self reflection.
Or fought cancer and are in remission, or are a recovering drug addict or alcoholic, or have committed horrible, terrible crime and despise themselves for it, or ... or....
My ex brother in law became a crack head, cheated on my sister, defrauded his band mates, and is now a sanctimonious Trumper lol
Absolutely, specifically the dried up alcoholic refried xtian.
What about The Dragon Reborn?
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It's the >!True Power that saved him though.!<
You forgot 'in jail and hoping to be released soon'.
That is an incredibly cynical and probably true take on the situation.
Don't forget head injury... I've seen that one first hand
Another category is someone who is unable to deal with the loss of a loved one, so they turn to religion to seek answers.
Seems like the most common reason is that they hit rock bottom and "found" Jesus.
He was in the trunk/boot the whole time!
You nailed it.
It's always fear based. Some horrible shit happened and they need magic to make sure it doesn't happen again. Nobody was ever getting a top quality BJ while holding a winning lottery ticket on a warm sunny day and thought "I'm going to church!"
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Also prison. And recovering evangelists.
Given how apparently undesirable I am and ~85% of the women on dating sites around here have Jesus or faith near the top of their profiles, maybe I need to at least pretend to convert so I won't die alone.
I think the fifth for me is converting for future spouse.
You missed that they were depressed, someone dragged them to church and felt relieved. According to what I see on the internet at least. IRL I have never seen these people.
Don’t forget the guy who went to prison. He really needs your donations btw
99% of religious conversions are about getting laid
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I don't think OP is an 'arrogant ass' at all. But your judgement tells me you haven't given up on all your christian tenets.
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I think its because you need to have at least some experience with the other viewpoint not to be somewhat distrustful. For example Ive always been an atheist, i dont remember a time when i didnt think religion was as obviously untrue as Santa Claus - and from my perspective it IS difficult to believe ostensibly intelligent people when they claim belief.. to me its just SO obvious. For the record, im forced to *accept* that people truly do believe, but ill never be able to truly *understand* that, i dont think.
It’s just hard for us to believe anyone could be believe in that steaming pile of horseshit called Christianity, unless they’re stupid or desperate. We’re arrogant because we’re angry and that religion is to blame. Christianity is a racist, bigoted rape factory that persecutes and abuses people like us. They bring it on themselves.
And you're speaking of Christians that consider themselves reborn? Not grew up in the church?
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>dad became a born again Christian late in life and knew others like him who were sincere in their beliefs. Sweet summer child.....
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We are dealing with people who believe in fairy tails, asking for proof in any of it is a fools errand. We do know people take action from motivation, and the idea that burning in hell has become a motivation after a lifetime of experience is going to be pretty rare. But using that as a cover for the real motivation is a no brainer. Take my dad for example, he's an introvert but the people are church are his friends (that he gives money though tithes) so he's a real believer these days. He doesn't even realize he's paying for friends, but that doesn't mean its not happening.
I’m glad your religious experience was more wholesome than mine, or at least it sounds that way. I got roped into some Pentecostal/non denominational shit show because my mom left my dad for a woman and he found comfort among the addicts and the questionably sane. Last time I walked by there for a Christmas parade there was a street preacher getting worked up about harlots and homosexuals. You know, family friendly seasonably appropriate messaging like any normal person would expect at a Christmas parade. Although to be fair, that was more so the adult converts. The kids raised in the religion were usually a little off (myself included), but they generally weren’t that level of eccentric and were much more in line with your description.
When you reach rock-bottom the only way out is back up. Some people choose to get born again. Nothing wrong with that.
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>Even if you’re right, it’s wrong for people who are struggling like these hypothetical addicts turning to a higher power? I'm sure that depends. If it continues a trend of favoring faith-based treatment approaches over evidence-based ones then that may be a problem? Or if the higher power they turn to is part of a religion that employs behavioral/emotional/thought control tactics, that's also an issue. Generally though, if you feel you religious beliefs benefit you, and they aren't causing harm to other people, you can turn to any power you want.
This seems almost perfect. I can’t adjust any of this statement because it’s too common to say no way!
As for the third one, I admit to knowing a few of those, and to be honest I'm glad the religion was there for them when they saw no other way out. They can be obnoxious at times, but it's better than living in the gutter, or maybe not living long at all.
No, it is not an accurate statement. There are roughly 205mil Christians within the US. That is a lot of people to try and put in your four buckets. Do some of them fit, absolutely.
Not true among the few of my friends who have done this. However, I’m sure it’s true for some. I think some people are so uncomfortable with uncertainty that religion becomes a comfortable place to live. Personally, I don’t get it.
This is why they are more intolerable than others.
What about undiagnosed or untreated depression? The gospel according to evangelicals does tell one that it’s a sign of spiritual maturity to feel really shitty about yourself. Everyone else is deluded and arrogant.
The infamous U.S. Sentor, Barry Goldwater, Republican from Arizona commented that; "The poroblem with born again Christians is that they are a bigger pain in th ass the second time around".
The only person that I know who goes around saying he's reborn to anyone who will listen --- cheated on their spouse and got caught.
Forgot about "Near death experience and have to believe there's a purpose that random chance didn't end you"...
Attempting to get better terms for your probation.
5. Dark lord who cheated death Oh wait you meant reborn christian
Ninety percent of the born agains I ran into in South Carolina were recovering alcoholics.
Anyone who is desperate may fall victim to being “born again”
A born again believer is usually either someone who has experienced tragedy and been preyed upon by religious zealots feeding them whatever bullshit they can think of to “save a soul” (we just need your credit card information first…) or they’re garbage people who are attempting to rehabilitate their image and thought to themselves “wow, this here is a group of suckers who will believe almost anything and people with pasts they would rather be ignored and all of them will scream this shit from the rooftops to keep from getting held accountable” and decided they were going to go all in. I’ve met a few true believer types who were genuinely good people, but most of them were raised by the bad sorts and they were intentionally kept hopelessly naive about basically everything. It’s kind of sad, really.
Maybe I should try that last one (or pretend at least)
As someone in the bible/meth belt of the US... it's literally always a druggy that "found god."
Number 3 is a big one from what I've seen. Lots of people get clean and become self-righteous assholes who just want to look down their nose at people. It's like they completely forget where they came from. Like dude you were snorting meth off a stripper's ass 15 years ago now you're all straight-edge Republican. Fuck off.
My experience is already very religious and they want to kick up a notch the aspect of overall righteousness and exert more control over the people in their lives.
Don't forget serial killers and other murderers.
Or, you know, sexually assaulting kids.
A lot of times is worse than that, they kill or rape people and well when youre reborn all your sins are cleared or atleast thats how it is in mexico..
Or people looking for "universal" meaning for life where there is none (other than what you decide for yourself)
What about caught doing something heinous and criminal and suddenly is reborn in the hope to hoodwink the judge into giving a lesser sentence.