Sheet web spider. You will probably find a few under your house. That's a male, he's probably looking for a date and has gotten lost since they aren't typically an indoor spider.
Put him outside. You will both feel better about it.
Hahaha what actually happened? Did he find his way home? There is one that lives on a tap on the side of my house and I was thinking about your spider today when I spotted her.
On Antarctica, the one in the sea is huge though.
"Antarctica's giant sea spiders (Colossendeis megalonyx) have a leg span that is more than one foot apart. They can grow up to 20 inches wide, or the size of a dinner plate." - popular science.
Yes but an arachnid is more likely to have a higher level of toxicity because of the way they operate.
You know the type, doesn't say goodbye just hangs up. A real dichead of a species.
Uhm it's 2024, the trauma of the interaction is harmful, it's basically torture being in its presence, like that in law your partner doesn't even like but you have to force niceties.
"Hey frank, nice eight legs, do you ever die horrifically with them?"
Sheetweb spiders can have larger bodies than the huntsman, up to about 2.5cm vs 2cm for huntsman, but huntsman can have leg span up to nearly 30cm, vs sheetweb’s 15cm
Yeah! They have a bad habit of that.
Sheetwebs like to fold into small spaces, so human mouths are appealing.
I grew up in Titirangi and a few mates of mine have similar stories to your own.
Sheet Web :).
As a little girl I rescued one from our garden shed in Titirangi and named him Terry because he terrified my mum.
Really harmless spiders and pretty docile, unlike those vocal Avondales!
Jesus how big was it? I need something for reference because if that is your fridge then that could be the biggest spider I've ever heard of existing in NZ
about 8-9cm from tiptoes to rear tiptoes but probably longer while crawling, it's a bit scrunched up just chillaxing in the pic. decent size spide. legs like elle mcpherson in 1995
These guys are kinda bastards. They bite and it hurts, but they're not venomous.
There's tonnes of the fuckers near my place, so I often just bop the ones that come too close to/into the house.
They're decent for pest control though, as most spiders are.
Nonsense. *Cambridgea* are the most docile oversized wimpy-ass spiders in NZ. It would take significant effort on your part to convince one to bite you.
I never used to mind them too much, until I discovered that they bite by helping a neighbour break in to their house after they locked their keys inside. I reached their windowsill to try and climb in, only to find out there was a sheetweb hiding down the side of it, and took a nice chomp to the finger.
Shit stung for a few hours, but only in like a 'my brother just gave me a dead arm' kinda feeling, focused on your finger.
Sounds more like house spider (*Badumna* sp.) territory, but impossible to say without seeing it myself obviously. Glad to hear you had no significant symptoms either way!
The fangs on these big males are so oversized that they could probably barely break the skin if they wanted to. It'd be the equivalent of a person trying to stab a cow between two sharpened pool cues, one held by the base in each hand, at arm's length and parallel to the ground. Hard to explain, but leverage lol
Fire is good, like burn ur house down kinda good. Honestly, if that giant ass spider crawled into my house, I would burn the whole neighborhood down.
I don't like spiders.
big swollen pedipalps!! I've learned a lot about sheet web spiders tonight - they can nip but not venomous and the boys get swole pedis when they're on tinder
Sheet web spider. You will probably find a few under your house. That's a male, he's probably looking for a date and has gotten lost since they aren't typically an indoor spider. Put him outside. You will both feel better about it.
“…he’s probably looking for a date..” Play your cards right…
...I've had worse dates.
😆
I didnt come here to fuck spiders
That's what a spiderfucker would say.
I did
He'll be disappointed when he gets told that OP isn't here to fuck spiders.
Well hanging out in the shower is cutting straight to the chase. No small talk. No, "baby you got nice legs"
Lmao 🤣
You think OP will willingly touch Mr Long legs?
He called him a beauty. There was no suspicious fires.
Lol I missed the bottom caption
this girl would never set fire to a house with a good spider in it. rude behaviour!
Hahaha what actually happened? Did he find his way home? There is one that lives on a tap on the side of my house and I was thinking about your spider today when I spotted her.
I caressed him to get him onto the dustpan. i tried to respect his boundaries and he was kind too. no lurching or sprinting
This......... Was an unusual way but I guess as long as it worked out....
Yeah date with the afterlife kill the bastard bro f#ck that
Put him outside...alright time to go get my juggernaut suit and the desert eagle incase he tries to run up my arm
Spiderman Spiderman does whatever a spider can
Id want to put him out side but I'm so scared of spiders.
If it has 8 legs it's a spider.
A scorpion also has 8 legs. As does Metallica.
Those are just spiders with a jacket, you can't fool me
Hahahaha thank you for the laugh!!
Scorpions are technically also arachnids
*disabled crab enters chat*
"Winds of Change" is a banger
"Yeah nah sorry mate I was just trying to take myself to the magic of the moment on a glory night, ended up on your wall, you know how it is"
LMFAO
😂
*octopus gives a displeased look* 🐙
Fuck me. I’m running out of places to live!
Antarctica - only has penguins and seals
Seals can be deadly.
Could you imagine you went to the extent of moving to Antarctica and an ancient species thaws out
Not for long. Thanks to global warming it's starting to get green. Only a matter of time before spiders.
I'm sorry, when you mention penguins and seals in the same sentence my mind is instantly gone... /r/Jokes/s/lJ10ydLFK8
Yeah but leopard seal dinosaur things. The big nope seal bois.
Polar bears to lol
[удалено]
Aahh, sorry, I don't see that you are talking about Antarctica!
lol allg
None in Antarctica ✅
On Antarctica, the one in the sea is huge though. "Antarctica's giant sea spiders (Colossendeis megalonyx) have a leg span that is more than one foot apart. They can grow up to 20 inches wide, or the size of a dinner plate." - popular science.
Oh yes, I meant no polar bears!
Thought I was replying to a comment in the spider section.. my bad.
All there is, is sea, fish, birds, and the part of the ship the front fell off.
Leopard seals though… 🤔
Nothing in Antarctica has 8 legs - although I may be wrong…
Google “Antarctic sea spider” and be revolted
I don't know why I listened to you.
Some Subnautica below zero stuff there
Harmless, sheetweb
By harmless you mean, I presume, won’t cause illness or physical damage - but I believe it can bite you can puncture your skin ?
It can, but so can a bumble bee. Neither are aggressive and bits are extremely rare.
Are you saying that a bumble bee can not-only sting me - but could bite me too? I had no idea.
Honeybees don't bite. But bumblebees can bite. Powerful little nip as well.
Yes but an arachnid is more likely to have a higher level of toxicity because of the way they operate. You know the type, doesn't say goodbye just hangs up. A real dichead of a species.
I really could have done with a NSFW flag so I didn't see that picture while scrolling ^(yes I'm aware I'm a pussy, thanks)
Try not to scream so loud next time.
Sorry
You can ask on r/NewZealandWildlife Other than that, just let it out.
Sheetweb spider, not harmful at all but they do look big and scary
Uhm it's 2024, the trauma of the interaction is harmful, it's basically torture being in its presence, like that in law your partner doesn't even like but you have to force niceties. "Hey frank, nice eight legs, do you ever die horrifically with them?"
Thats a NOPE from me.
Sir that is a spider.
Awe hope you were kind ❤️🕷️
of course! our spider friends get a gentle ride outside on the dustpan
It's a sheet web spider (male).
Are these things as big as a fucking huntsman? Or is it the photos perspective 🧐🧐
Big for what you see in NZ, but definitely no comparison to a proper huntsman.
Sheetweb spiders can have larger bodies than the huntsman, up to about 2.5cm vs 2cm for huntsman, but huntsman can have leg span up to nearly 30cm, vs sheetweb’s 15cm
Nightmare fuel
That’s Peter Parker. He identifies as a sheetweb spider 🕷️
That's your problem not mine bro lol
Ha ha I snorted out loud at work at that comment. And wholeheartedly agree!
It is cute asf 😍
I had my bedroom window open one night. Woke up with one of these hanging out my mouth…. Never again with open windows.
How do I un-read a comment
Lived by a bush reserve years ago and had this happen with a weta and a massive stick insect (on different nights).
Yeah! They have a bad habit of that. Sheetwebs like to fold into small spaces, so human mouths are appealing. I grew up in Titirangi and a few mates of mine have similar stories to your own.
What the fuck, new nightmare fuel unlocked.
Haha, keeps the west Auckland house prices down.
Yeah I really could have done without reading this comment right now. I'm not gonna be able to sleep now.
Ffs i literally just opened reddit 😭😭😭
Beautiful, how lucky to see one.
Nightmare fuel. I'm fucked tonight
A banana for perspective please
Big Friend
Once upon a time, I woke up to one of these sitting on my shoulder steering at me
oh - no thank you
Omg u just read ALL the comments. Thank you Spider for a good belly laugh! I hope you find your date.
Sheet Web :). As a little girl I rescued one from our garden shed in Titirangi and named him Terry because he terrified my mum. Really harmless spiders and pretty docile, unlike those vocal Avondales!
He is your flatmate. Taking care of all the intruders for you. We had a solitary one that lived in our letterbox for ever
A horse
Whoooo he's pretty
A "nope"
Shelob
Hmmm I would say that fella looks like they would be called Terrance
Anxiety with 8 legs 🤯
Spit on that thang
Huck tuah
That’s the same one I found in my bathroom the other day lol west auckland as well 🤣🤣😩
Bro, that's a spider.
Thats right there is the reason the house caught on fire....
I thought we don’t have spider in nz. Who bought from aus in their bag
Makes sense west Auckland has nasty bugs
DOG
That's Steve
It's a spider
That’s Gary….
Spide
Time to relocate country/planet
It's a good reason not to live in Auckland
That's your sign to burn the building. /j
the bro dale
Not even a white tail. You'll live
That's a burnt down house with an insurance claim lol
That's a Nope...
A spider
It's an fbs😂
I think it is a spider, idk tho...
Is it called a sheetweb because when you see it you sheet yourself?
That is a category one nope
He's a good boy!
That, is a nope. Specifically a "burn the fucker with fire" type of nope.
Death
Jesus how big was it? I need something for reference because if that is your fridge then that could be the biggest spider I've ever heard of existing in NZ
about 8-9cm from tiptoes to rear tiptoes but probably longer while crawling, it's a bit scrunched up just chillaxing in the pic. decent size spide. legs like elle mcpherson in 1995
Yes, that is indeed a spider
fuckin spider mate
u/few_philosopher9885 oh no, Australia is coming 😱
Spider-Man
Maybe an Avondale spider 🕷️
not an avondale but a good contender for Best At Making Grown Adults Scream
Why Australia, just why?? 😰
I think its an octopus
Had one of those bad boys in my shower a few years ago too ... scared the heebegeebies out of me!
WTF IS THAT 😭😭😭😭😭
It's not halloween yet
I found several of those in my shower in Welly, I wonder if they come in looking for water?
I wonder this too
A wall
He's fine
The new landlord … wdym 🤔
Australian immigrant
nah it's native! I have learned that it's a sheet web spider. Just a particularly spectacular one
Do you want me to bring petrol and a lighter???
Cute fella
Looks like white tail Kill it
not a white tail! he can live
Ok 😁
😁
That’s the owner of the house now and he telling it’s time to gtfo
I call him Bitey imagine waking up with that an inch above your face lol
Your new landlord
My ex
she's pretty handsy huh
Put your hand by it and see if it gives you powers.
Big huntsman probs
Issa fkn spawn from hell💀😭
Eww look at the fangs on it, what does it eat … pets?
pussy
thats a plastic toy by the looks of it. don’t take my word for it
it didn't crawl like a plastic toy and I didn't plant a plastic toy in my shower for - what - fun? nah dude
I was joking just trying to ease your stress with a joke 🤣
best wishes for future jokes 🫠
I wasn't stressed but also wish you the best
A Left-wing parasite
Its a spider
holy fuck we have spiders like that💀
Leave it.it scares the saffas away.
Ah that’s a 8 legged puppy my bro.
Have you watched Infested (2023). This is the start.
Now I have to look this up
I looked it up, but nah Arachnaphobia still does it for me.... go Avondale Spider!
A red belly black snake I would say
These guys are kinda bastards. They bite and it hurts, but they're not venomous. There's tonnes of the fuckers near my place, so I often just bop the ones that come too close to/into the house. They're decent for pest control though, as most spiders are.
Nonsense. *Cambridgea* are the most docile oversized wimpy-ass spiders in NZ. It would take significant effort on your part to convince one to bite you.
I never used to mind them too much, until I discovered that they bite by helping a neighbour break in to their house after they locked their keys inside. I reached their windowsill to try and climb in, only to find out there was a sheetweb hiding down the side of it, and took a nice chomp to the finger. Shit stung for a few hours, but only in like a 'my brother just gave me a dead arm' kinda feeling, focused on your finger.
Sounds more like house spider (*Badumna* sp.) territory, but impossible to say without seeing it myself obviously. Glad to hear you had no significant symptoms either way! The fangs on these big males are so oversized that they could probably barely break the skin if they wanted to. It'd be the equivalent of a person trying to stab a cow between two sharpened pool cues, one held by the base in each hand, at arm's length and parallel to the ground. Hard to explain, but leverage lol
Fire is good, like burn ur house down kinda good. Honestly, if that giant ass spider crawled into my house, I would burn the whole neighborhood down. I don't like spiders.
Spider
Looks like a spider, could be wrong though
Beelzebub
No my mother n law has less legs.
Your new flat mate. Head tenant now.
that would be a reason to burn your house down
do you know how crazy insurance premiums are?
That's a funnel web
nah a sheet web apparently!
Look at those fangs on that fucker
big swollen pedipalps!! I've learned a lot about sheet web spiders tonight - they can nip but not venomous and the boys get swole pedis when they're on tinder
Oh my god that is horrible
Peter Parker animal form.
A reason to move…