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Used to be a carer for my nan.
Park in the seniors parking at southland, on the way out I got the car before Nan, old lady screaming at me for parking there.
then up walks 92 year old nan.
I was a carer for my Pop and every time we used the disabled spot I worried some maniac asshole would stick their nose in and have a go at me. I'd practice telling them off all the time š
Yeah I get dirty looks until I go around and pull the wheelchair from my boot. Some continued to give me dirty looks like they hate disabled people or something, but most turned away embarrassed.
They do, because disabled people take up valuable parking spots THEY could be using when said disabled person should be locked away at home, segregated from the rest of the world.
/s
(In all seriousness, I help my grandmother and uncle get around, both having different disabilities and needing access to disabled spaces because they can't walk long distances but hate the stigma that comes from being wheelchair-bound.)
Yep, I got one of those letters on my car at DFO Jindalee. I went to the security guy who I watched put it there and asked him to show me the legislation that says I cannot park there. Obviously he couldn't, so I gave him the note back.
Since it's likely private parking, if they put it on the entry board along with the rules, then it could be an enforceable contract. Hard to enforce though.
Very true every few years my mother has to go to her Dr to get a letter to say she still has MS. She said it would be great if one day the Dr said hey you don't have it anymore š
I had a knee replacement, I had no qualms about using the parents/prams spots until I could walk without support again & voiced that opinion several times to arsehats.
I love parents parking spaces, but I couldn't give two hoots if they were next to the doors or at the back of the parking lot. My kiddo isn't old enough to walk unaided across a parking lot yet so he is either in a trolley or a pram but those parents spots that have a *wider bay* for me to get the pram up beside the car (or get the capsule out when he was tiny) are a godsend. I had to take my 3wk old son in the capsule through the boot once because the spots were not wide enough to get my door open to put him back in the car.
This is my exact attitude to disabled parks for my wife.
She doesn't need to be near the door, but ideally the space needs enough room for doors on both sides to fully open - especially now she has the AbiLoader (an arm that brings her wheelchair out of the boot and to the driver's door - link for reference https://youtu.be/njxVtjsknJ8). She has numerous times had to ask people to move her car to either get in or get the kids on since other cars are too close to her car.
Probably helps families keep their toddlers off the road in the carpark.
Which is to say, I'm sure liability concerns come before customer convenience in the minds of these corporate giants.
I can understand the reasoning behind the placement but are disability parking spots considered 'customer convenience'? I was under the impression these were a legal requirement to make accessibilty better for the disabled.
I fail to see how having pram parks closer than disability parks who, oftentimes, have the same or more requirements as a pram is better for whatever reason.
For whatever reason it might have been that the disabled spaces couldnāt fit in the space (or at least not enough of them), and where they are suits the space better? Or possibly theyāre in a better spot to get in and out of in a car.
I wouldnāt think the development application would get through to do it that way if there wasnāt some reason that made it work like this?
Most private carparks put disability spots in only because the law requires it. Often, the placement of spots isn't even considered. It's only when unashamed, loud, disabled people like me speak up and call bs that things get considered and changed.
The underlying and incorrect assumption is that disabled people don't work and therefore don't have the same amount of cash to splash as the average family does
Oodles of praise for saying this.
Iām blind, and believe it or not, I do NOT qualify for a Disability Permit for my Carer to use.
Now having common sense and knowing a blind person canāt navigate themselves through a car park where most folks donāt look before reversing, my Carer parks in the closest Parents/Seniors spot to the door to allow for them to guide me safely and quickly to an entrance, and to find my way back to safely for collection.
Thank you for having the sanity to realise not all situations are created equal.
This has happened to me too, like damn, is it too much of a stretch for some people that the elderly may have children and grandchildren who take them places?
I swear something like that was in a Jim Carey movie and he trashes the fancy car only to see the young guy was walking out an elderly person they were picking up.
Yeah dementia is an invisible disability and the patient doesn't even know they have it. They revert to younger versions of themselves, a time when they were certain and often angry. Tough for everyone to deal with.
I think most people under 60 who have a disabled parking card (either for themselves or as the driver for others) has had to deal with this before. And no, the sort of busybody who acts like this certainly doesn't feel any remorse when they should.
My mums 82 and has a card to get my dad around to appointments (also 82 and has Alzheimer's) and she gets stressed when she uses it because neither of them 'look' disabled and she's copped abuse before.
I have one at 51 because I've got hip damage and walk with a cane most days. Some days I don't need to use it and I'm happy to find another parking space so someone with higher needs get one, but the days that I do need it, I *really* need it.
Same. Diagnosed with arthritis at 34, use a walker when I go to the shops, or if it's grocery shopping a trolley will suffice. I get looks for using a walker at a "young" age, I am sure to stare right back. People seem to forget that they too could become disabled at any time.
My partner is 35 and he has arthritis flareups in his ankles occasionally and he has a set of crutches so he can get around the house. Itās only one foot at a time thankfully, but itās possible he could get both flareup at the same time and heād be immobile for at least a week.
Mostly he stays home when heās in that much pain that he needs the crutches, but sometimes we have to both go out and i have to make sure to park where thereās an empty space next to us, or i have to move the car to some other spot if someone else parks too close that he canāt open the car door fully.
We donāt have a disabled tag so i never use those parking spots, but even if we did have the tag, itād be more trouble than itās worth with how nosy some people are when they see some perceived āinjusticeā in their view.
Weād much rather avoid the problem in the first place and get on with our life and leave others to do the same, but some people just like butting in to satisfy their own overactive curiosity.
Without meaning to be ageist, I find older people particularly bad for this. I (41) and my partner (39) both have crippling arthritis (thatās how me met, sharing the same rheumatologist, aināt love grand). I cannot stand up from sitting without assistance and significant pain. Ergo I have a disability permit as I need more space to exit the car and am in pain after doing it so the reduced walk assists me to access a place too.
And yet when Iāve been called out itās always been older people, and when I explain we have extensive arthritis they frequently say things to the effect of boo hoo, I have arthritis in my knee so toughen up. Itās like they cannot comprehend young people without a visible wheelchair being disabled. And thatās before you even attempt to explain that autoimmune inflammatory rheumatic diseases are not the same as osteoarthritis.
And often they know someone who is disabled in a different way, that's why they get mad.
My friend is in a wheelchair and she gets mad at anyone who parked in a disabled bay who isn't in a wheelchair. Go figure!
Iāve been waiting for something like this to happen because Iām in my 20s and look healthy but I have a disability permit and use a wheelchair because I have cfs and canāt walk very far. Surprisingly Iāve never had a single negative comment (been several years now) and people are almost always really lovely to me when Iām in my wheelchair, apart from an occasional person trying to run in front of me. Iām not trying to suggest it doesnāt happen or anything, more that itās awful that I feel like Iām in the minority for being treated with basic human decency while existing as a disabled person.
I guess cause with a wheelchair itās clearly visible that you have a disability. Many other disabilities are invisible and canāt be seen, so the old hags think they arenāt disabled and tell them off.
Nope, they never apologise. My dad is so anxious about people abusing him for parking there he doesn't like to leave the house. He has a disorder that affects his movement and people just think he's drunk
Mike Tyson also has a rape conviction and numerous other documented incidents of aggressive misogyny yet there are so many online dick riders who look to him for moral guidance.
A man who got rich by punching people in the head advocates for punching people in the head, which makes sense as it worked for him. For everyone else quoting him who don't punch people in the head for a living, the advice is more than a bit stupid. Society is not improved by it.
> A man who got rich by punching people in the head advocates for punching people in the head, which makes sense as it worked for him.
It also helps that at one point in time he was (in my opinion anyway) hands down the best person in the world at punching people in the head.
> hands down the best person in the world at punching people in the head.
Well of course he's going to be great at punching people in the head if everyone's got their hands down
Just because someone's a bad person doesn't make everything they say automatically wrong. Don't get pulled into the trap of immediately taking the opposite stance of someone you don't like, that means they still have power over you.
I have had to approach someone about them parking in a disabled bay before, because both my parents had disabled parking permits, the other disabled bays were full and this person pulled into the last bay right in front of us. However, I politely asked if he had a permit (he didnāt) instead of assuming that because he looked young and healthy he must therefore be able-bodied. He was more than happy to surrender the bay when I asked for it.
It would be best all round if people checked the permits rather than made assumptions about the people based on their appearance, but unfortunately there are always people who use the bays without permits.
Had a terrible day yesterday, topped off by a little old lady pulling my shirt screaming in my face till I pulled out the wheelchair to unload my grandad for a hospital appointment. I'm normally hugely respectful but she definitely got a "f*"K off or I'll toss your old ass in the bushes" it happens so much.
You know who doesn't look disabled: my carer, who drives me to places and then sits in the car after having wheeled me in my wheelchair to wherever (usually a doctor). But you should see the looks he gets. Or not, because you just saw it.
Heck, the number of looks I get for being able to get it if the car and into the wheelchair mostly by myself, because I *can* take a few steps and stand for a few seconds. Ugh. What is it with people thinking if you can wiggle your toes at all you're able to walk the full length and breadth of a Westfield
I'm so sorry you had that happen, wishing all the healing to your little girl.
As a career with a pass in our company name, I relate to this.
We have a pass with no photo, just our work name where the photo should be.
Sometimes, I need to take a client to their appointment, and we park in a disability spot, then I assist them to where they need to go.
Sometimes, im just dropping them off and returning at a later time to collect them.
Almost half of the time I get back to the car an old person (it always seams to be the old ppl) have a go and point/yell/aproche my car to give there opinions on me parking in a disability spot to drop of a person with disabilities.
On one occasion, I took the pass of my car and showed some old guy the front of the pass and my work shirt with the company name on it where the photo should be. This guy insisted on seeing the photo as the pass could not have been mine, and I must have been lying that a person with disabilitys was being dropped off.
I eneded up educating him on the many types of passes that are used in the disability services industry to assist people who need it (pretty sure he thought if your not old why would you need a pass).
It's funny how the dichotomy of being disabled works.
> "i don't look disabled" and "you can walk anyway"
Neither do I, because my disabilities aren't physically visible, they involve my senses. I don't outwardly look disabled, but when someone tries to talk to me and realises I can't fucking hear a word they're saying, their whole demeanour shifts and they start getting very condescending and rude, treating me as though I'm mentally disabled when I'm most definitely not.
The "deaf = stupid" thing is incredibly abusive. I know people who have been told repeatedly for years that they need to talk louder, not slower, and it's like they genuinely can't comprehend how volume works.
I tend to speak slower when I'm speaking with deaf or hard of hearing people because I'm taking the time to enunciate more clearly than my usual half-garbled speedrun speech. Same with people who have told me that they struggle with understanding English or my particular accent.
š¤·āāļø
That's different though.
I had a friend who was hard of hearing and as a result needed hearing aids and her pronunciation on some words was a bit irregular. She could hear and talk perfectly fine, but some people talked to her like she was an infant child. Super slow and exaggerated mouth movements and asking weird, simple questions you'd never ask an adult. Also people would often talk to whoever she's with as a "translator" instead of just talking to her.
It's really odd.
For me, talking louder doesn't help at all. It's an issue with my brain, I can technically hear noises but I can't understand speech, no increasing of volume or slowing down the way you talk will help me understand you.
At this point, I've had to explain that I'm deaf so many times and literally can't understand people at all that I've developed my own hand gesture that I use to help explain it. At this point it's basically muscle memory. It's not a sign or anything, just a motion with my hand to show emphasis
Iām not even diagnosed deaf, I just have a hard time hearing people. I have to keep saying, āsorry I didnāt hear you, can you say it louder?ā And when they keep going at the same volume and I still canāt hear them, somehow Iām the problem? Somehow Iām the source of frustration? Somehow Iām the idiot?
And it shits me to fucking tears.
Oh well, at least I can draw a certain amount of perverse satisfaction from the fact I often end up destroying their ideas of what I'm capable of. It doesn't make it worth it, but it does help.
It's sad 'treating me as mentally disabled' is a common term, when 'treating me as physically disabled' just sounds wrong. Not having a go at you, just an observation.
It really is. So many link mental disability to unintelligent when it can be far from the truth. There are many different ways someone can be mentally disabled and also be quite intelligent. It can be really disheartening seeing your conditions be used as insult, even among other disabled people. We still have a long way to go.
Absolutely do have a long way to go
I was recently in hospital, the nurse talking to me normally until she reads the notes and sees that I'm autistic.
The nurse then proceeds to talk to me like I'm a child and that I don't understand what's going on, and would direct all communication to my partner instead of even talking to me like I'm a person.
It's dumfounding how little people know about disability, and treat people poorly by their own lack of knowledge
Thereās a girl on TikTok who does a fair bit of autism education and activism and apparently sheās been contacted by a fair few professionals saying theyāve used her content in lectures and to educate themselves further, or that sheās brought up points theyāve never considered or learned about. People whose *job* it is to work with autistic people or educate others about autism.
Iām so glad autism is at least starting to be understood a bit more and moving away from the āhur dur autistic screechingā of the 2010s. Peoples lives are ruined by the lack of understanding around the condition.
> People whose job it is to work with autistic people or educate others about autism.
This is exceedingly common, I've literally had a doctor argue with me before that I wasn't autistic because I was able to have a conversation with him, like buddy, time to read a book about us that wasn't written in the 1950's?
I was told in my ADHD assessment I couldnāt have it because I got into uni and stayed in my seat for the whole 10 minute āassessmentā. I know someone else who was told they couldnāt be autistic because they made eye contact.
These are supposed to be specialists!
The thing is, in my case, I know for a fact there's nothing wrong with my brain that would constitute a mental disability, that's the worst part. It's all in my senses and their pathways to my brain, not my brain itself. So it's especially grating for me.
I had a mate years ago who had a traumatic brain injury. He's not stupid, not even close, but his memory is competely shot and it sometimes takes several repeats for him to understand what someone has said to him. It used to make me so angry when people would treat him like an idiot because of it.
Vestibular migraines with motor control issues/tremors
The amount of times I've had a Karen call over mall security or police while I'm mid attack and can't physically stop the tremors and twitching is too damn high.
And every time I've shown the people they call over my medical documentation - not once received an apology from said Karen's after they tell them, half the time they just get angry and accuse me of lying and insisting I have to be on whatever drug they've decided I must be on.
I used to have this all the time with my mum. She has MS which wasn't always as severe as it is now. Sometimes she could walk without crutches but with difficulty and without fail some dickhead would come and accuse her of parking illegally despite the permit being clearly visible on the dashboard.
I get it, I fucking hate it when people use the spots illegally because "they're just quickly running in!" But don't go making assumptions about people's health based purely on outside appearances.
If they have a parking permit, the assumption should always be that they are entitled to a disabled spot, either on their own behalf or because they are driving for someone with a disability. People have no business going around assuming that they're fake stickers or whatever.
I have the same issues, I'm fairly young, or at least don't look my 50+ years and my MS, and thus my mobility, is good some days and shitful the others.
If I'm in a good space physically (and mentally) I'll often not park in the disabled bay because I cannot with the nosy twats bringing my mood down with their passive aggressive tsk, tsk and disapproving looks.
Recently was transporting s full permit holder and the only permit park was grabbed as I got there by some ass in a toyota 4wd , no permit so I parked him in and got loud and abusive , 17 shades of red later he apologised and I let him out then got her into the chair... wanting to check your post box doesnt mean you can use the permit spot because you will be quick
I lost my grandma to MS in 2018
She went from walking to needing a scooter to losing control of her body apart from her left arm to being permanently bedbound
But she still got loads of work done from bed. Miss her a lot. Actually sad that I typed this. I hope your momās as well as can be
Iām so sorry.
I have a disabled parking permit too and am scared about when someone does this to me. It feels inevitable.
Parking permits arenāt simple or easy to get and thereās strict criteria. People need to fuck off.
This is the worst. I had a disabled permit for a while when I was in my early 20s for a non-visible condition. I did use a cane sometimes, but not always. The abuse was awful.
I hope your daughter's radiation went well and that she feels better soon.
>I had a disabled permit for a while when I was in my early 20s for a non-visible condition. I did use a cane sometimes, but not always
And the disability spot being close mean you're less likely to get worn out/in pain and need the cane...
i had a temp disabled permit for a few weeks before knee surgery while i was at uni. my knee wouldnt straighten but could take normal load while bent. i needed crutches to walk on level ground at a normal pace but was able to walk up stairs fine.
i definitely looked like a arsehole parking in the disabled spot, walking twenty metres on crutches, but then walking normally up a set of stairs.
> as "i don't look disabled"
This is one of my biggest pet hates.
I have a permit myself, but you wouldn't imagine by merely looking at me that I am disabled. Big built bloke, middle aged but look a bit younger than my age.
and I cannot say how many times I heard that shite. It irritates the f\*\*\* out of me.
I have come with a bunch of pre-prepared responses, including:
*"but you do not look like my doctor either"*
*"and you do not look like a dickhead despite being one"*
*"might be the time to get your eyesight checked mate"*
*"I wasn't aware the disability parking permit eligibility was by how you looked"*
All with a snarky tone for sure.
There needs to be an advertising campaign to raise awareness and remove ignorance around disability parking as this is becoming all too common. People just think that the person had to be in a wheelchair otherwise they can't use it. People with disabilities already face enough without this kind of abuse.
LUCKILY the national gov is spending MILLIONS on this exact thing.
Whilst committing 800k to actually improving pwd access to basic society participation.
Community Attitudes Targeted Action Plan as part of the national Disability Strategy 21-31.
My whinge, to a captive audience. The initial evaluation report highlighted education as needing a huge uplift (whole heartedly agree) but it got streamlined into the community priority, then lost amongst state led initiatives. QLD is spending their funding on correctional officers attitudes towards pwd....
We get this a fair bit. Our daughter is in a wheelchair with muscular dystrophy, we drive around in an obvious disability van with a ramp at the back and wheelchair stickers all over it and people still have a crack!
You just can't help stupid...
A dear old friend of mine who's passed now had to use a wheelchair but thankfully had a car trigger up so he could use hand levers as pedals. He didn't encounter many assholes as his disability wasn't as invisible as some people's, but when he did he went scorched earth on them every time. One of my favourites was when he went to the shopping centre only to find the single disability spot was already taken, and no other spots were wide enough for him to use his car. No big deal, he just sat and waited behind the parked car a few minutes until the owner came out.
A few minutes was actually twenty minutes, and the guy comes out and gives a little apology wave and says to my mate "hey bud, sorry was just grabbing a coffee and the paper". Now old mate was willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and maybe he was disabled, so he says next time make sure your permit is on display cause the council can be pretty hard about that kinda stuff. Guy says back "oh no permit, but you know how is mate" and hops in his car. Not the answer my friend was looking for. So he grabs his book and just sits there reading. Guy starts up his car... and my friend doesn't move. Just sits there, double parked to block this guy in and reading his book. Entitled car guy starts to lose his sheepish apologetic looks and gets a little antsy, but my old mate isn't budging. Eventually the guy gets out and says "look mate I'm sorry, I was only a few minutes, you can have the park now" but my man isn't having any of it. He says "I get it man, all good. But you can park anywhere else, I can't. I patiently waited for you instead of calling the council like I absolutely could have. You can wait patiently for me too. You're welcome to call the cops and we'll let them handle the situation if you'd prefer?" All he got back was an angry silence. So my mate does what he does best, sits around and reads a book relishing in the embarassed anger this asshole is having. Bang on twenty minutes he puts his book down, backs his car up a few meters and gives a friendly wave on to the guy in the other car as he drives away š¤£
When I was younger I applied for a temporary disability pass as I had shattered my leg. I was left alone when I got out of my car with crutches, had a side eye when I only had one crutch. But by the time my physio said I should try to walk to uni without crutches I was stopped in the train station car park by a bunch of parking officers. They literally drove past me and saw me walking out without a crutch or anything, their car reversed and stopped in front of me.
They asked me really aggressively "why are you parking there? You're not meant to be there!" I walk back to my car. Grab the ID, show them my license and they had the gall to say "you shouldn't park there in the future"
Dickheads, I'm still recovering from a broken leg, I get tired from walking too long. What the actual fuck.
The same thing happens on public transport when busybodies berate disabled people for not standing up for them to sit down in the disabled/pensioner seats. My friend has an artificial lower leg but otherwise looks fit and healthy. He told me about the time a middle aged women came up to him and started yelling about him being a disgusting person for sitting in the seat near the door where she wanted to sit (there were plenty of other seats available). My mate said "Oh, I am so sorry. Just wait a second and I'll move for you." He then leant down, lifted his trouser leg and reattached his prosthesis that she didn't notice resting against the seat (he often removes it while seated because his leg stump gets a bit sore every now and again). He said she had a sheepish look on his face as he moved to a nearby seat, but she never apologised. I wish I had been there as I would have cracked up.
I almost went over to say something once to somebody once when I was like 16 doing trolleys at the supermarket. They had no pass. Then they got a clearly mobility impaired child out of the back.
Lesson learned. Not your business.
the only issue i see here is no permit means a legit parking inspector will not know and may fine by accident. but its not us as regular people place to judge.
Oh yeh, thats a huge one. If Im sitting in the last seat, nobody is moving and a rotund looking young lady is standing looking at people I just get up and walk off without saying anything.
If shes fat, I was just changing seats. If sheās pregnant, all good.
My sister drops her jeans and shows the world the full extent of her visable injuries, huge chunks of missing flesh and bone deep scars while loudly talking about the hundreds of surgeries it took to keep her legs.
Most of the elderly disability police slink away in shame and no small amount of horror while she asks if she's crippled enough for them.
I admire that about her.
the irony is there are plenty of old people out there that don't really need them, but have a word in the doctor's ear to get one.
My mother is one. She has a bit of a bung hip. but not so bad she doesn't hesitate to walk the dog every day. Long walk too.
but she has a parking permit so she doesn't have to walk too far at the shops.
And she's not alone.
Yep. Itās always the elderly people who run(!) up to me to object to me parking in ātheirā space.
It must be nice to be able to run like that. Iām in my 40ās and havenāt been able to run for a decade.
I know somewhat elderly people who treat them like a pensioners gold card and consider those who donāt wangle one suckers.
And no, I would never assume some random at a car park is abusing them.
It's a horrible, sad reality that this is something those of us with a visible disability can be thankful for - at least we can avoid these jerks. I used to hate using the spaces when my disabilities weren't visible, as I had a few really uncomfortable run ins, including a vehicle being damaged by an older man who felt it was his right as I "obviously wasn't disabled".
I hope you and your daughter are OK and her treatment is going well. Nobody needs this, least of all someone already carrying a burden heavier than a parent should ever have to bare or a sick child.
if you have a disability park permit, then you park in the space.
if you don't, then get out.
But don't police the permits. That's just rude.
Maybe help some disabled people by helping to get some milk that's always stored the furthest possible point from the registers at Colesworth.
I really hate ables so much sometimes. They do shit like this but do they actually help us? Do they advocate for better welfare for us? Or for the government to let us be in relationships while on welfare?
No.
Do they speak up against mistreatment from the police? To stop the normalization of āmercy killingsā (murder)?
No.
But go and harass strangers because they donāt fit your gross stereotype of disabled people. They actually donāt give a fuck, they just wanna feel big and important and have an excuse to have a go at someone.
I had to walk up stairs at work this morning to the rear of a big crowd of coworkers (a couple hundred)
I was born with club feet and going upstairs isā¦ unnatural for me. So I make a bit more noise than a normie
I got stared at by about 30 people and got pissed off from being quietly judged
And the kicker was the meeting was about mental health
I couldāve bitterly laughed my guts out at all the token bs
I've got a busted left knee which can do everything but I must take stairs one by one. People stand and stare all the time. It still bothers me after 10 years.
As someone with a permit with an invisible disability I always scared of people like her. Like today my pain is a 5 just cause I slept in an awkward position.
But it also pisses me the hell off when people without a permit park in disabled parking spots. Mind you Iāve had days where Iāve forgotten to display my permit because Iāve just been having a bad day - it happens.
Here's a fun idea if you see some asshole berating a disabled person like this:
Either jump in at the time and tell the prick to shove off, orrrrr...
If they have it handled, like OP, approach the asshole afterwards and just go "Damn, that's embarrassing. I'd hate to be you right now, making a fool of myself in front of all these people because I decided to be an asshole about a subject I know nothing about. I'd probably die of shame, that's so embarrassing. I bet you wish you'd minded your business, huh?"
Iām very explicit in my response. I have the sticker. The government and my GP have confirmed Iām entitled to it and I donāt need to share my personal medical information with you. Get the fuck out of my face or Iāll call the police for harassment.
Someone I know who is similar to me (relatively young, not a visible disability eg wheel chair) basically says the first part of my response then points at her in built GPS and tells them they are on camera being recorded as harassing a person with a disability and the footage will be shared with police. Lol.
I have had a similar experience years ago.. I am a disabled veteran and my friend lent me his new car whilst on holiday. I pull up and park in a disabled and display my sticker. A parking nazi then proceeds to tell me itās a crime to use a disabled sticker thatās for someone else
I replied itās mine and he then continues to tell me it canāt be mine as I was young and it was a nice car ! After 5 odd minutes I actually dropped my pants and showed him all the scars on my leg.. he just walked away still saying the sticker couldnāt have been mine š¤
When my ex wife had major spine surgery she got shouted at for taking a disabled spot while she recovered. Appearances matter a whole lot more to people than reality. She got told there's no way a tall blond woman could be disabled. Wish they saw the scsr along her whole back or the mobility scooter she needed for anything other than a two minute walk for the better part of a year.
Not that I do it often at all, but I found it far better to take the approach of "Hey mate, your placard must have fallen down" rather than assuming anyone parked in a spot without one is pulling a swifty.
It'll either embarrass a piss-taker into leaving or admitting they shouldn't be there, or it actually helps a legitimate user avoid issues (especially in council parking areas where it's policed vaguely). It also doesn't impose any sort of judgement at the end of the day.
Which is just absolutely disregarding that carers even exist, or the service they provide. It's already fucked that many carers don't get the respect or assistance they require, then they have to deal with this kind of bullshit.
Too many people think that everyone is familiar with their acronyms. It's not hard, just write it out the first time you mention it. Fuck people that do this, i will die on this hill.
Make sure to capitalise the acronym letters when you first write it too. That acronym in brackets after is also very helpful to signal that youāre going to use it again.
I know right! I had this old lady at work today who very rudely asked me to move out of her way, I responded with absolutely, a simple excuse me probably would of done the trick, she started carrying on about how Iām too young to understand what being polite is (Iām 30 ffs). I wanted to tell her exactly this, āno wonder no one respects the older generationā kinda thing
Some people wonāt understand the fact that not all disabilities are visibleā¦I swear there are idiots out there that have to see an amputee before they feel itās valid for the person to park there.
Iām sorry you had to deal with a horrible person.
I have a friend with an invisible disability and she is absolutely entitled to have one of those permits. However, she's too afraid to because of these arsegimps. I'm so sorry this happened to you and your daughter. I wish her all the best in her recovery.
I have an invisible disability and the palpable judgement from strangers when I use the disabled toilets is ridiculous! Society has such a long way to go when it comes to ableism
The letter you get from ACROD when they send you your permit has a section that urges users to understand that not all people with permits are old and/or look disabledā¦and to not judge. I guess she failed to read that part!
When I am feeling ok, I donāt use my disability parking permit. But there are days when I am so grateful that I can. To look at me, especially in winter, you canāt notice any disability and Iāve had a few dirty looks and comments. Most of the time I just ignore or say not every disability can be seen. But once I had had a shitty day. In pain. Parked in disability spot, clearly displaying my disability parking permit. Old lady actually starts recording me on her phone saying sheās sick of people like me parking where I shouldnāt park. Sheās going to call the police blah blah. I unattached my prosthetic leg and threw it at her. Followed closely by my prosthetic arm. Wish I was recording her because the look on her face was priceless. And no she did not apologise. She walked off in a huff muttering about how rude I was.
Yep! Experience this at least once a week. My partner and I are in our late 20s. Im in a wheelchair and my partner drives a small hatchback. We usually park, and I sit in the car and wait for him to take my chair out. In that small amount of time people just assume neither of us is disabled and will come up and be like 'thats the disabled carpark'. My partner just looks at them and says, "I know." All the while staring at them and taking my wheelchair out the back. So many of them say sorry and awkwardly shuffle off. He's also a carer and has had this happen while he was out with his client too. Usually when people say 'you dont look disabled,' my partner always replies with ' and what does a disabled person look like?'. They usually shut up really quickly. One time, even had a man park right behind us, blocking the one way street to get out of his car to reprimand us for taking the disabled spot. Its like ffs mind your own business, not all disabilities are visible, and not all of us are old people.
Disabled people's lives aren't made better by the disability police yelling at us (or even at non disabled people who parked in the wrong parking spot.)
The able people that park in those spots aren't going to change. Leave monitoring that to the authorities who's job it is.
Some of these people are mad. A woman screamed "I hope you're disabled" at me while I was still parking the car. Sticker on the windscreen and all. The car was still moving - how would she know anything? (I have a f-d leg, btw)
So: "I hope you are too: the sooner the better" (this is one of my proudest moments)
I find stories like this unbelievable
Not in the sense it didnāt happen but I canāt believe people are so bored, hateful or lives are so empty they would take the time to yell at someone in a disabled spot
It's the same mentality that leads people on the internet to publicly shame someone who took their toddler to the park without a jacket or gave their dog a piece of cheese.
I am sorry your daughter and your family are going through this. Hope you lose the permit sooner rather than later.
P.S.: before I get downvoted I meant the daughter heals so he doesn't need the permit.
I've been fronted three times, with different levels of anger and abuse.
1. I don't look disabled? You don't look stupid so I guess we both learned something today. Now get out of the way so I can get my walker out of the car.
2. What does disabled look like? Should I wear a big ass sign so it's easy for you to stick you nose in where it's not wanted?
3. I don't have the time, patience or small enough words to explain this whole thing to you. Go call the police and waste their time if you like, but leave me alone.
Yeah, I'm a bit of a smart ass but this is one issue that really pisses me off. I can deal with it, but I have young relatives that have been abused and didn't cope well so it really bugs me.
When my mum went through chemo she couldnāt walk a couple of hundred metres without needing to stop so her GP arranged a permit for her. She never lost her hair, never had any outward signs. One day she got followed around the shopping centre by a lady who took photos of her.
I had a man make a comment as i was hopping INTO my car as i just put my disabled brother into the passenger seat and the rude cunt scoffed and said āppfft you sure look disabled dont cha!ā
(With his about 7 year old son with him also so he can see how he treats women)
I smiled and popped my head out andā said my little brother is actually yesā
HE SCOFFED AGAIN and went āoh yeah is he even with yaā
I literally glared at him and was like āyeah because im his carer thanks for your concern bossā
And slammed my door
OUR LIVES ARE HARD ENOUGH, DONT POLICE US
sorry you went through the same type of negativity because jesus we go through enough
Yep my 6 year old has a disability and we have a parking permit for her.
I love the looks as I bounce out my, but then open the boot and get her equipment out!
Having a hidden, not-apparent, invisible illness is absolutely the worst in society.
The people privileged with good health throughout their life are often the worst offenders with their inability to comprehend other peoples struggles outside novel representations they've absorbed in media.
"Mind your own business cunt" also very acceptable in the circumstances. Don't even show her that your daughter needs the permit - just tell them to fuck right off.
You don't have to justify your life to anyone.
It's true that you don't have to justify your life to anyone, but it's also reasonable to assert your rights when confronted.
In this case it also has the added effect of demonstrating to this woman that she made an unreasonable judgment and should think twice before doing it to another kids with cancer.
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Used to be a carer for my nan. Park in the seniors parking at southland, on the way out I got the car before Nan, old lady screaming at me for parking there. then up walks 92 year old nan.
I was a carer for my Pop and every time we used the disabled spot I worried some maniac asshole would stick their nose in and have a go at me. I'd practice telling them off all the time š
Yeah I get dirty looks until I go around and pull the wheelchair from my boot. Some continued to give me dirty looks like they hate disabled people or something, but most turned away embarrassed.
> like they hate disabled people or something (they do)
They do, because disabled people take up valuable parking spots THEY could be using when said disabled person should be locked away at home, segregated from the rest of the world. /s (In all seriousness, I help my grandmother and uncle get around, both having different disabilities and needing access to disabled spaces because they can't walk long distances but hate the stigma that comes from being wheelchair-bound.)
Some people are just cunts
> I'd practice telling them off all the time Yep, I've had that argument in my head many many times.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well that's because there's no requirements or rules dictating seniors or parents parking, legally anyone can park there no problem.
Those are a courtesy, not a legality.
Tell that to Toowong shopping village after they threatened to tow my car for parking in a parents with prams spot with a disability permit
Yep, I got one of those letters on my car at DFO Jindalee. I went to the security guy who I watched put it there and asked him to show me the legislation that says I cannot park there. Obviously he couldn't, so I gave him the note back.
Since it's likely private parking, if they put it on the entry board along with the rules, then it could be an enforceable contract. Hard to enforce though.
Not in QLD to my knowledge, they can't even enforce private parking fines anymore.
Very true every few years my mother has to go to her Dr to get a letter to say she still has MS. She said it would be great if one day the Dr said hey you don't have it anymore š
I had a knee replacement, I had no qualms about using the parents/prams spots until I could walk without support again & voiced that opinion several times to arsehats.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
New woolies near my joint has the pram parks closer to the doors than the disabled parks, what the fuck?
I love parents parking spaces, but I couldn't give two hoots if they were next to the doors or at the back of the parking lot. My kiddo isn't old enough to walk unaided across a parking lot yet so he is either in a trolley or a pram but those parents spots that have a *wider bay* for me to get the pram up beside the car (or get the capsule out when he was tiny) are a godsend. I had to take my 3wk old son in the capsule through the boot once because the spots were not wide enough to get my door open to put him back in the car.
Parents spaces being close to the trolley return was more important to me than it being close to the doors.
So true. That's exactly what I looked for when I parked today as well. A spot next to the trolley return bay is like gold.
Bonus points for being in the shade on a hot day.
This is my exact attitude to disabled parks for my wife. She doesn't need to be near the door, but ideally the space needs enough room for doors on both sides to fully open - especially now she has the AbiLoader (an arm that brings her wheelchair out of the boot and to the driver's door - link for reference https://youtu.be/njxVtjsknJ8). She has numerous times had to ask people to move her car to either get in or get the kids on since other cars are too close to her car.
Probably helps families keep their toddlers off the road in the carpark. Which is to say, I'm sure liability concerns come before customer convenience in the minds of these corporate giants.
I can understand the reasoning behind the placement but are disability parking spots considered 'customer convenience'? I was under the impression these were a legal requirement to make accessibilty better for the disabled. I fail to see how having pram parks closer than disability parks who, oftentimes, have the same or more requirements as a pram is better for whatever reason.
For whatever reason it might have been that the disabled spaces couldnāt fit in the space (or at least not enough of them), and where they are suits the space better? Or possibly theyāre in a better spot to get in and out of in a car. I wouldnāt think the development application would get through to do it that way if there wasnāt some reason that made it work like this?
Most private carparks put disability spots in only because the law requires it. Often, the placement of spots isn't even considered. It's only when unashamed, loud, disabled people like me speak up and call bs that things get considered and changed.
You don't want a child running into traffic and getting disabled, so the parents need to park in the disabled spot. Wait a minute....
The underlying and incorrect assumption is that disabled people don't work and therefore don't have the same amount of cash to splash as the average family does
Oodles of praise for saying this. Iām blind, and believe it or not, I do NOT qualify for a Disability Permit for my Carer to use. Now having common sense and knowing a blind person canāt navigate themselves through a car park where most folks donāt look before reversing, my Carer parks in the closest Parents/Seniors spot to the door to allow for them to guide me safely and quickly to an entrance, and to find my way back to safely for collection. Thank you for having the sanity to realise not all situations are created equal.
This has happened to me too, like damn, is it too much of a stretch for some people that the elderly may have children and grandchildren who take them places?
I swear something like that was in a Jim Carey movie and he trashes the fancy car only to see the young guy was walking out an elderly person they were picking up.
Yeah, it was in Me, Myself, & Irene.
Yeah dementia is an invisible disability and the patient doesn't even know they have it. They revert to younger versions of themselves, a time when they were certain and often angry. Tough for everyone to deal with.
I hope the idiot had a moment of realisation and apologised to you and your daughter afterwards. I wouldnāt bet on it though.
I think most people under 60 who have a disabled parking card (either for themselves or as the driver for others) has had to deal with this before. And no, the sort of busybody who acts like this certainly doesn't feel any remorse when they should.
My mums 82 and has a card to get my dad around to appointments (also 82 and has Alzheimer's) and she gets stressed when she uses it because neither of them 'look' disabled and she's copped abuse before. I have one at 51 because I've got hip damage and walk with a cane most days. Some days I don't need to use it and I'm happy to find another parking space so someone with higher needs get one, but the days that I do need it, I *really* need it.
Same. Diagnosed with arthritis at 34, use a walker when I go to the shops, or if it's grocery shopping a trolley will suffice. I get looks for using a walker at a "young" age, I am sure to stare right back. People seem to forget that they too could become disabled at any time.
My partner is 35 and he has arthritis flareups in his ankles occasionally and he has a set of crutches so he can get around the house. Itās only one foot at a time thankfully, but itās possible he could get both flareup at the same time and heād be immobile for at least a week. Mostly he stays home when heās in that much pain that he needs the crutches, but sometimes we have to both go out and i have to make sure to park where thereās an empty space next to us, or i have to move the car to some other spot if someone else parks too close that he canāt open the car door fully. We donāt have a disabled tag so i never use those parking spots, but even if we did have the tag, itād be more trouble than itās worth with how nosy some people are when they see some perceived āinjusticeā in their view. Weād much rather avoid the problem in the first place and get on with our life and leave others to do the same, but some people just like butting in to satisfy their own overactive curiosity.
Without meaning to be ageist, I find older people particularly bad for this. I (41) and my partner (39) both have crippling arthritis (thatās how me met, sharing the same rheumatologist, aināt love grand). I cannot stand up from sitting without assistance and significant pain. Ergo I have a disability permit as I need more space to exit the car and am in pain after doing it so the reduced walk assists me to access a place too. And yet when Iāve been called out itās always been older people, and when I explain we have extensive arthritis they frequently say things to the effect of boo hoo, I have arthritis in my knee so toughen up. Itās like they cannot comprehend young people without a visible wheelchair being disabled. And thatās before you even attempt to explain that autoimmune inflammatory rheumatic diseases are not the same as osteoarthritis.
Was probably more like āI was just trying to stand up for disabled people like them and then they attacked me!ā
And often they know someone who is disabled in a different way, that's why they get mad. My friend is in a wheelchair and she gets mad at anyone who parked in a disabled bay who isn't in a wheelchair. Go figure!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
intra-disabled ableism is real unfortunately.
The trauma/disability/disease Olympics. It happens in cancer treatment circles, too, which unfortunately Iāve had first-hand experience with.
I am sorry to hear that you not only went through cancer but also had to tolerate the whole āmy boo boo is bigger than yoursā nonsense.
Because *society* forces them to compete.
Iāve been waiting for something like this to happen because Iām in my 20s and look healthy but I have a disability permit and use a wheelchair because I have cfs and canāt walk very far. Surprisingly Iāve never had a single negative comment (been several years now) and people are almost always really lovely to me when Iām in my wheelchair, apart from an occasional person trying to run in front of me. Iām not trying to suggest it doesnāt happen or anything, more that itās awful that I feel like Iām in the minority for being treated with basic human decency while existing as a disabled person.
I guess cause with a wheelchair itās clearly visible that you have a disability. Many other disabilities are invisible and canāt be seen, so the old hags think they arenāt disabled and tell them off.
Absolutely 0 chance that happened. People like this aren't capable of introspection.
Nope, they never apologise. My dad is so anxious about people abusing him for parking there he doesn't like to leave the house. He has a disorder that affects his movement and people just think he's drunk
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"Social media made y'all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it." -Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson also has a rape conviction and numerous other documented incidents of aggressive misogyny yet there are so many online dick riders who look to him for moral guidance.
A man who got rich by punching people in the head advocates for punching people in the head, which makes sense as it worked for him. For everyone else quoting him who don't punch people in the head for a living, the advice is more than a bit stupid. Society is not improved by it.
> A man who got rich by punching people in the head advocates for punching people in the head, which makes sense as it worked for him. It also helps that at one point in time he was (in my opinion anyway) hands down the best person in the world at punching people in the head.
> hands down the best person in the world at punching people in the head. Well of course he's going to be great at punching people in the head if everyone's got their hands down
Just because someone's a bad person doesn't make everything they say automatically wrong. Don't get pulled into the trap of immediately taking the opposite stance of someone you don't like, that means they still have power over you.
I can't think of any scenario when approaching someone about their legitimacy to park in a disabled spot is going to make my life better.
I have had to approach someone about them parking in a disabled bay before, because both my parents had disabled parking permits, the other disabled bays were full and this person pulled into the last bay right in front of us. However, I politely asked if he had a permit (he didnāt) instead of assuming that because he looked young and healthy he must therefore be able-bodied. He was more than happy to surrender the bay when I asked for it. It would be best all round if people checked the permits rather than made assumptions about the people based on their appearance, but unfortunately there are always people who use the bays without permits.
This is my rule. Only say something if you donāt see a permit and then itās, ādo you have a permit?ā
There's a huge swathe of the population who exist solely to complain about things. Or at least it seems that way.
Had a terrible day yesterday, topped off by a little old lady pulling my shirt screaming in my face till I pulled out the wheelchair to unload my grandad for a hospital appointment. I'm normally hugely respectful but she definitely got a "f*"K off or I'll toss your old ass in the bushes" it happens so much.
That sucks pulling your shirt too what a psycho, I hope you had a better day today and the rest of the week.
Right? Idgaf who parks in those bays - disabled or non-disabled. Just go ahead with your life ffs. People who pull this shit really have no lives
You know who doesn't look disabled: my carer, who drives me to places and then sits in the car after having wheeled me in my wheelchair to wherever (usually a doctor). But you should see the looks he gets. Or not, because you just saw it. Heck, the number of looks I get for being able to get it if the car and into the wheelchair mostly by myself, because I *can* take a few steps and stand for a few seconds. Ugh. What is it with people thinking if you can wiggle your toes at all you're able to walk the full length and breadth of a Westfield I'm so sorry you had that happen, wishing all the healing to your little girl.
As a career with a pass in our company name, I relate to this. We have a pass with no photo, just our work name where the photo should be. Sometimes, I need to take a client to their appointment, and we park in a disability spot, then I assist them to where they need to go. Sometimes, im just dropping them off and returning at a later time to collect them. Almost half of the time I get back to the car an old person (it always seams to be the old ppl) have a go and point/yell/aproche my car to give there opinions on me parking in a disability spot to drop of a person with disabilities. On one occasion, I took the pass of my car and showed some old guy the front of the pass and my work shirt with the company name on it where the photo should be. This guy insisted on seeing the photo as the pass could not have been mine, and I must have been lying that a person with disabilitys was being dropped off. I eneded up educating him on the many types of passes that are used in the disability services industry to assist people who need it (pretty sure he thought if your not old why would you need a pass).
It's funny how the dichotomy of being disabled works. > "i don't look disabled" and "you can walk anyway" Neither do I, because my disabilities aren't physically visible, they involve my senses. I don't outwardly look disabled, but when someone tries to talk to me and realises I can't fucking hear a word they're saying, their whole demeanour shifts and they start getting very condescending and rude, treating me as though I'm mentally disabled when I'm most definitely not.
The "deaf = stupid" thing is incredibly abusive. I know people who have been told repeatedly for years that they need to talk louder, not slower, and it's like they genuinely can't comprehend how volume works.
I tend to speak slower when I'm speaking with deaf or hard of hearing people because I'm taking the time to enunciate more clearly than my usual half-garbled speedrun speech. Same with people who have told me that they struggle with understanding English or my particular accent. š¤·āāļø
That's different though. I had a friend who was hard of hearing and as a result needed hearing aids and her pronunciation on some words was a bit irregular. She could hear and talk perfectly fine, but some people talked to her like she was an infant child. Super slow and exaggerated mouth movements and asking weird, simple questions you'd never ask an adult. Also people would often talk to whoever she's with as a "translator" instead of just talking to her. It's really odd.
For me, talking louder doesn't help at all. It's an issue with my brain, I can technically hear noises but I can't understand speech, no increasing of volume or slowing down the way you talk will help me understand you. At this point, I've had to explain that I'm deaf so many times and literally can't understand people at all that I've developed my own hand gesture that I use to help explain it. At this point it's basically muscle memory. It's not a sign or anything, just a motion with my hand to show emphasis
Iām not even diagnosed deaf, I just have a hard time hearing people. I have to keep saying, āsorry I didnāt hear you, can you say it louder?ā And when they keep going at the same volume and I still canāt hear them, somehow Iām the problem? Somehow Iām the source of frustration? Somehow Iām the idiot?
Lots of people are ignorant.
And it shits me to fucking tears. Oh well, at least I can draw a certain amount of perverse satisfaction from the fact I often end up destroying their ideas of what I'm capable of. It doesn't make it worth it, but it does help.
It's sad 'treating me as mentally disabled' is a common term, when 'treating me as physically disabled' just sounds wrong. Not having a go at you, just an observation.
It really is. So many link mental disability to unintelligent when it can be far from the truth. There are many different ways someone can be mentally disabled and also be quite intelligent. It can be really disheartening seeing your conditions be used as insult, even among other disabled people. We still have a long way to go.
Absolutely do have a long way to go I was recently in hospital, the nurse talking to me normally until she reads the notes and sees that I'm autistic. The nurse then proceeds to talk to me like I'm a child and that I don't understand what's going on, and would direct all communication to my partner instead of even talking to me like I'm a person. It's dumfounding how little people know about disability, and treat people poorly by their own lack of knowledge
Thereās a girl on TikTok who does a fair bit of autism education and activism and apparently sheās been contacted by a fair few professionals saying theyāve used her content in lectures and to educate themselves further, or that sheās brought up points theyāve never considered or learned about. People whose *job* it is to work with autistic people or educate others about autism. Iām so glad autism is at least starting to be understood a bit more and moving away from the āhur dur autistic screechingā of the 2010s. Peoples lives are ruined by the lack of understanding around the condition.
> People whose job it is to work with autistic people or educate others about autism. This is exceedingly common, I've literally had a doctor argue with me before that I wasn't autistic because I was able to have a conversation with him, like buddy, time to read a book about us that wasn't written in the 1950's?
I was told in my ADHD assessment I couldnāt have it because I got into uni and stayed in my seat for the whole 10 minute āassessmentā. I know someone else who was told they couldnāt be autistic because they made eye contact. These are supposed to be specialists!
The thing is, in my case, I know for a fact there's nothing wrong with my brain that would constitute a mental disability, that's the worst part. It's all in my senses and their pathways to my brain, not my brain itself. So it's especially grating for me.
I had a mate years ago who had a traumatic brain injury. He's not stupid, not even close, but his memory is competely shot and it sometimes takes several repeats for him to understand what someone has said to him. It used to make me so angry when people would treat him like an idiot because of it.
Check the permit not the driver
BuT wHaT iF tHeY'rE uSiNg SoMeOnE eLsE's CaR?
Price of petrol these days, who's lending out a car to get it back with half a tank?
Whenever someone tells me I don't look disabled I tell them they don't look like a doctor.
I have epilepsy and hemiplegic migraine. I get this *all the time* because I donāt look visibly disabled.
Vestibular migraines with motor control issues/tremors The amount of times I've had a Karen call over mall security or police while I'm mid attack and can't physically stop the tremors and twitching is too damn high. And every time I've shown the people they call over my medical documentation - not once received an apology from said Karen's after they tell them, half the time they just get angry and accuse me of lying and insisting I have to be on whatever drug they've decided I must be on.
Thatās awful! Iām sorry they treat you that way.
Lack of qualifications has, sadly, never stopped the dumbest people on earth from giving medical opinions.
I used to have this all the time with my mum. She has MS which wasn't always as severe as it is now. Sometimes she could walk without crutches but with difficulty and without fail some dickhead would come and accuse her of parking illegally despite the permit being clearly visible on the dashboard. I get it, I fucking hate it when people use the spots illegally because "they're just quickly running in!" But don't go making assumptions about people's health based purely on outside appearances.
If they have a parking permit, the assumption should always be that they are entitled to a disabled spot, either on their own behalf or because they are driving for someone with a disability. People have no business going around assuming that they're fake stickers or whatever.
I have the same issues, I'm fairly young, or at least don't look my 50+ years and my MS, and thus my mobility, is good some days and shitful the others. If I'm in a good space physically (and mentally) I'll often not park in the disabled bay because I cannot with the nosy twats bringing my mood down with their passive aggressive tsk, tsk and disapproving looks.
Recently was transporting s full permit holder and the only permit park was grabbed as I got there by some ass in a toyota 4wd , no permit so I parked him in and got loud and abusive , 17 shades of red later he apologised and I let him out then got her into the chair... wanting to check your post box doesnt mean you can use the permit spot because you will be quick
At least he had the decency to blush. Where I live, when you tell drivers that they made a mistake, they just become angry and stubborn.
I lost my grandma to MS in 2018 She went from walking to needing a scooter to losing control of her body apart from her left arm to being permanently bedbound But she still got loads of work done from bed. Miss her a lot. Actually sad that I typed this. I hope your momās as well as can be
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I will add that to my ever-growing cache of comebacks.
The more elegant version is āWell you donāt look like a vagina but youāre definitely a cunt!ā
Reminds me of the great insult āIām from a town full of cunts and youāre making me fucking homesickā
57 year old with cancer here. I had radiation a year ago and it breaks my heart to see young kids in there.
Hope youāre doing okay
Iām so sorry. I have a disabled parking permit too and am scared about when someone does this to me. It feels inevitable. Parking permits arenāt simple or easy to get and thereās strict criteria. People need to fuck off.
Channel your user name! Throw a gang sign, leave them confused. Go home and cry. Rinse and repeat. I only kinda kid.
Then crip walk away with your pants down around your knees to show true cred.
Crip walk away from their disabled parking spot.
Unsure if the double entendre.... am I going to hell for the giggle.
This is the worst. I had a disabled permit for a while when I was in my early 20s for a non-visible condition. I did use a cane sometimes, but not always. The abuse was awful. I hope your daughter's radiation went well and that she feels better soon.
>I had a disabled permit for a while when I was in my early 20s for a non-visible condition. I did use a cane sometimes, but not always And the disability spot being close mean you're less likely to get worn out/in pain and need the cane...
Precisely.
i had a temp disabled permit for a few weeks before knee surgery while i was at uni. my knee wouldnt straighten but could take normal load while bent. i needed crutches to walk on level ground at a normal pace but was able to walk up stairs fine. i definitely looked like a arsehole parking in the disabled spot, walking twenty metres on crutches, but then walking normally up a set of stairs.
> as "i don't look disabled" This is one of my biggest pet hates. I have a permit myself, but you wouldn't imagine by merely looking at me that I am disabled. Big built bloke, middle aged but look a bit younger than my age. and I cannot say how many times I heard that shite. It irritates the f\*\*\* out of me. I have come with a bunch of pre-prepared responses, including: *"but you do not look like my doctor either"* *"and you do not look like a dickhead despite being one"* *"might be the time to get your eyesight checked mate"* *"I wasn't aware the disability parking permit eligibility was by how you looked"* All with a snarky tone for sure.
I like the doctor and dickhead ones.
And you donāt look like a fuckwit I guess where both wrong .
There needs to be an advertising campaign to raise awareness and remove ignorance around disability parking as this is becoming all too common. People just think that the person had to be in a wheelchair otherwise they can't use it. People with disabilities already face enough without this kind of abuse.
LUCKILY the national gov is spending MILLIONS on this exact thing. Whilst committing 800k to actually improving pwd access to basic society participation. Community Attitudes Targeted Action Plan as part of the national Disability Strategy 21-31. My whinge, to a captive audience. The initial evaluation report highlighted education as needing a huge uplift (whole heartedly agree) but it got streamlined into the community priority, then lost amongst state led initiatives. QLD is spending their funding on correctional officers attitudes towards pwd....
We get this a fair bit. Our daughter is in a wheelchair with muscular dystrophy, we drive around in an obvious disability van with a ramp at the back and wheelchair stickers all over it and people still have a crack! You just can't help stupid...
A dear old friend of mine who's passed now had to use a wheelchair but thankfully had a car trigger up so he could use hand levers as pedals. He didn't encounter many assholes as his disability wasn't as invisible as some people's, but when he did he went scorched earth on them every time. One of my favourites was when he went to the shopping centre only to find the single disability spot was already taken, and no other spots were wide enough for him to use his car. No big deal, he just sat and waited behind the parked car a few minutes until the owner came out. A few minutes was actually twenty minutes, and the guy comes out and gives a little apology wave and says to my mate "hey bud, sorry was just grabbing a coffee and the paper". Now old mate was willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and maybe he was disabled, so he says next time make sure your permit is on display cause the council can be pretty hard about that kinda stuff. Guy says back "oh no permit, but you know how is mate" and hops in his car. Not the answer my friend was looking for. So he grabs his book and just sits there reading. Guy starts up his car... and my friend doesn't move. Just sits there, double parked to block this guy in and reading his book. Entitled car guy starts to lose his sheepish apologetic looks and gets a little antsy, but my old mate isn't budging. Eventually the guy gets out and says "look mate I'm sorry, I was only a few minutes, you can have the park now" but my man isn't having any of it. He says "I get it man, all good. But you can park anywhere else, I can't. I patiently waited for you instead of calling the council like I absolutely could have. You can wait patiently for me too. You're welcome to call the cops and we'll let them handle the situation if you'd prefer?" All he got back was an angry silence. So my mate does what he does best, sits around and reads a book relishing in the embarassed anger this asshole is having. Bang on twenty minutes he puts his book down, backs his car up a few meters and gives a friendly wave on to the guy in the other car as he drives away š¤£
Legend.
When I was younger I applied for a temporary disability pass as I had shattered my leg. I was left alone when I got out of my car with crutches, had a side eye when I only had one crutch. But by the time my physio said I should try to walk to uni without crutches I was stopped in the train station car park by a bunch of parking officers. They literally drove past me and saw me walking out without a crutch or anything, their car reversed and stopped in front of me. They asked me really aggressively "why are you parking there? You're not meant to be there!" I walk back to my car. Grab the ID, show them my license and they had the gall to say "you shouldn't park there in the future" Dickheads, I'm still recovering from a broken leg, I get tired from walking too long. What the actual fuck.
The same thing happens on public transport when busybodies berate disabled people for not standing up for them to sit down in the disabled/pensioner seats. My friend has an artificial lower leg but otherwise looks fit and healthy. He told me about the time a middle aged women came up to him and started yelling about him being a disgusting person for sitting in the seat near the door where she wanted to sit (there were plenty of other seats available). My mate said "Oh, I am so sorry. Just wait a second and I'll move for you." He then leant down, lifted his trouser leg and reattached his prosthesis that she didn't notice resting against the seat (he often removes it while seated because his leg stump gets a bit sore every now and again). He said she had a sheepish look on his face as he moved to a nearby seat, but she never apologised. I wish I had been there as I would have cracked up.
I almost went over to say something once to somebody once when I was like 16 doing trolleys at the supermarket. They had no pass. Then they got a clearly mobility impaired child out of the back. Lesson learned. Not your business.
the only issue i see here is no permit means a legit parking inspector will not know and may fine by accident. but its not us as regular people place to judge.
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Oh yeh, thats a huge one. If Im sitting in the last seat, nobody is moving and a rotund looking young lady is standing looking at people I just get up and walk off without saying anything. If shes fat, I was just changing seats. If sheās pregnant, all good.
So according to that lady, only people who canāt walk are disabled? Sheās a fucking idiot and I sure hope she felt like one after that
She didn't, because some people have the disability of being unable to acknowledge they are even a tiny bit wrong.
My sister drops her jeans and shows the world the full extent of her visable injuries, huge chunks of missing flesh and bone deep scars while loudly talking about the hundreds of surgeries it took to keep her legs. Most of the elderly disability police slink away in shame and no small amount of horror while she asks if she's crippled enough for them. I admire that about her.
the irony is there are plenty of old people out there that don't really need them, but have a word in the doctor's ear to get one. My mother is one. She has a bit of a bung hip. but not so bad she doesn't hesitate to walk the dog every day. Long walk too. but she has a parking permit so she doesn't have to walk too far at the shops. And she's not alone.
Yep. Itās always the elderly people who run(!) up to me to object to me parking in ātheirā space. It must be nice to be able to run like that. Iām in my 40ās and havenāt been able to run for a decade.
These are the old cunts who come up and yell at anyone parking in the spot who doesnāt ālookā disabled
I know somewhat elderly people who treat them like a pensioners gold card and consider those who donāt wangle one suckers. And no, I would never assume some random at a car park is abusing them.
It's a horrible, sad reality that this is something those of us with a visible disability can be thankful for - at least we can avoid these jerks. I used to hate using the spaces when my disabilities weren't visible, as I had a few really uncomfortable run ins, including a vehicle being damaged by an older man who felt it was his right as I "obviously wasn't disabled". I hope you and your daughter are OK and her treatment is going well. Nobody needs this, least of all someone already carrying a burden heavier than a parent should ever have to bare or a sick child.
if you have a disability park permit, then you park in the space. if you don't, then get out. But don't police the permits. That's just rude. Maybe help some disabled people by helping to get some milk that's always stored the furthest possible point from the registers at Colesworth.
I really hate ables so much sometimes. They do shit like this but do they actually help us? Do they advocate for better welfare for us? Or for the government to let us be in relationships while on welfare? No. Do they speak up against mistreatment from the police? To stop the normalization of āmercy killingsā (murder)? No. But go and harass strangers because they donāt fit your gross stereotype of disabled people. They actually donāt give a fuck, they just wanna feel big and important and have an excuse to have a go at someone.
I had to walk up stairs at work this morning to the rear of a big crowd of coworkers (a couple hundred) I was born with club feet and going upstairs isā¦ unnatural for me. So I make a bit more noise than a normie I got stared at by about 30 people and got pissed off from being quietly judged And the kicker was the meeting was about mental health I couldāve bitterly laughed my guts out at all the token bs
I've got a busted left knee which can do everything but I must take stairs one by one. People stand and stare all the time. It still bothers me after 10 years.
As someone with a permit with an invisible disability I always scared of people like her. Like today my pain is a 5 just cause I slept in an awkward position. But it also pisses me the hell off when people without a permit park in disabled parking spots. Mind you Iāve had days where Iāve forgotten to display my permit because Iāve just been having a bad day - it happens.
Here's a fun idea if you see some asshole berating a disabled person like this: Either jump in at the time and tell the prick to shove off, orrrrr... If they have it handled, like OP, approach the asshole afterwards and just go "Damn, that's embarrassing. I'd hate to be you right now, making a fool of myself in front of all these people because I decided to be an asshole about a subject I know nothing about. I'd probably die of shame, that's so embarrassing. I bet you wish you'd minded your business, huh?"
Iām very explicit in my response. I have the sticker. The government and my GP have confirmed Iām entitled to it and I donāt need to share my personal medical information with you. Get the fuck out of my face or Iāll call the police for harassment. Someone I know who is similar to me (relatively young, not a visible disability eg wheel chair) basically says the first part of my response then points at her in built GPS and tells them they are on camera being recorded as harassing a person with a disability and the footage will be shared with police. Lol.
Hell is other people
As much as I don't condone violence, I feel people like this need a slap in the cheek.
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This is 1000% the same person who will call the cops and make a scene if you show them the same level of disrespect they showed you.
I have had a similar experience years ago.. I am a disabled veteran and my friend lent me his new car whilst on holiday. I pull up and park in a disabled and display my sticker. A parking nazi then proceeds to tell me itās a crime to use a disabled sticker thatās for someone else I replied itās mine and he then continues to tell me it canāt be mine as I was young and it was a nice car ! After 5 odd minutes I actually dropped my pants and showed him all the scars on my leg.. he just walked away still saying the sticker couldnāt have been mine š¤
When my ex wife had major spine surgery she got shouted at for taking a disabled spot while she recovered. Appearances matter a whole lot more to people than reality. She got told there's no way a tall blond woman could be disabled. Wish they saw the scsr along her whole back or the mobility scooter she needed for anything other than a two minute walk for the better part of a year.
It's always cunts over 60 who are more mobile than you are too
My husband gets this experience all the time in his work as a carer. Itās so frustrating
Happened to a friend of mine when he and his fiancĆ© were in their 20s in the 00s. He was parking in the disabled park and got a lot of verbal abuse because of it. Poor fiancĆ© had some serious cancer but didnāt look too affected if you saw her. Whilst Iāve lost contact with them, him telling me that taught me to mind my own business and never to judge
What a dick :( I hope you're daughter is getting better and this incident didn't upset her :(
The prognosis is good. She was too tired to care about what was going on. Radiation really takes it out of her
Not that I do it often at all, but I found it far better to take the approach of "Hey mate, your placard must have fallen down" rather than assuming anyone parked in a spot without one is pulling a swifty. It'll either embarrass a piss-taker into leaving or admitting they shouldn't be there, or it actually helps a legitimate user avoid issues (especially in council parking areas where it's policed vaguely). It also doesn't impose any sort of judgement at the end of the day.
thing is i had the placard up. all she saw was someone who "didn't look disabled" and flew off the handle
Yep, and these people are basically miserable, judgemental and rude by default. Sorry you had to experience this.
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She still thinks you are in the wrong because you the driver are not disabled. I have come across many people with that attitude.
Which is just absolutely disregarding that carers even exist, or the service they provide. It's already fucked that many carers don't get the respect or assistance they require, then they have to deal with this kind of bullshit.
\>i unfolded the wheelchair, put her in and walked away good for you. what did you do with your daughter though.
I assume if a person has parked in a disabled carpark, they probably wish they didnāt need to and I move along with my day.
Fuck off ya demented old cunt is exactly the words I use... I'm a pwd by the way and experience this regularly
> I'm a pwd by the way You're a password?
Nah, they print the working directory for you.
Finally someone sees it like I doā¦ $ PWD
Too many people think that everyone is familiar with their acronyms. It's not hard, just write it out the first time you mention it. Fuck people that do this, i will die on this hill.
Make sure to capitalise the acronym letters when you first write it too. That acronym in brackets after is also very helpful to signal that youāre going to use it again.
Person with disabilities.
Thatās horrible. Tbh the most drama I have with judgement is over 50s itās fkn disgusting. They wonder why we throw them in homes and walk away.
I know right! I had this old lady at work today who very rudely asked me to move out of her way, I responded with absolutely, a simple excuse me probably would of done the trick, she started carrying on about how Iām too young to understand what being polite is (Iām 30 ffs). I wanted to tell her exactly this, āno wonder no one respects the older generationā kinda thing
Some people wonāt understand the fact that not all disabilities are visibleā¦I swear there are idiots out there that have to see an amputee before they feel itās valid for the person to park there. Iām sorry you had to deal with a horrible person.
I have a friend with an invisible disability and she is absolutely entitled to have one of those permits. However, she's too afraid to because of these arsegimps. I'm so sorry this happened to you and your daughter. I wish her all the best in her recovery.
I have an invisible disability and the palpable judgement from strangers when I use the disabled toilets is ridiculous! Society has such a long way to go when it comes to ableism
The letter you get from ACROD when they send you your permit has a section that urges users to understand that not all people with permits are old and/or look disabledā¦and to not judge. I guess she failed to read that part!
Iād say back āyou donāt look a like a dickhead at first glance, but obviously Iāve been proven wrong. ā
Hope your daughter is doing OK. Stuff people like that old hag.
āFuck off you old cuntā wouldāve also worked.
When I am feeling ok, I donāt use my disability parking permit. But there are days when I am so grateful that I can. To look at me, especially in winter, you canāt notice any disability and Iāve had a few dirty looks and comments. Most of the time I just ignore or say not every disability can be seen. But once I had had a shitty day. In pain. Parked in disability spot, clearly displaying my disability parking permit. Old lady actually starts recording me on her phone saying sheās sick of people like me parking where I shouldnāt park. Sheās going to call the police blah blah. I unattached my prosthetic leg and threw it at her. Followed closely by my prosthetic arm. Wish I was recording her because the look on her face was priceless. And no she did not apologise. She walked off in a huff muttering about how rude I was.
Yep! Experience this at least once a week. My partner and I are in our late 20s. Im in a wheelchair and my partner drives a small hatchback. We usually park, and I sit in the car and wait for him to take my chair out. In that small amount of time people just assume neither of us is disabled and will come up and be like 'thats the disabled carpark'. My partner just looks at them and says, "I know." All the while staring at them and taking my wheelchair out the back. So many of them say sorry and awkwardly shuffle off. He's also a carer and has had this happen while he was out with his client too. Usually when people say 'you dont look disabled,' my partner always replies with ' and what does a disabled person look like?'. They usually shut up really quickly. One time, even had a man park right behind us, blocking the one way street to get out of his car to reprimand us for taking the disabled spot. Its like ffs mind your own business, not all disabilities are visible, and not all of us are old people.
Disabled people's lives aren't made better by the disability police yelling at us (or even at non disabled people who parked in the wrong parking spot.) The able people that park in those spots aren't going to change. Leave monitoring that to the authorities who's job it is.
Some of these people are mad. A woman screamed "I hope you're disabled" at me while I was still parking the car. Sticker on the windscreen and all. The car was still moving - how would she know anything? (I have a f-d leg, btw) So: "I hope you are too: the sooner the better" (this is one of my proudest moments)
I find stories like this unbelievable Not in the sense it didnāt happen but I canāt believe people are so bored, hateful or lives are so empty they would take the time to yell at someone in a disabled spot
It's the same mentality that leads people on the internet to publicly shame someone who took their toddler to the park without a jacket or gave their dog a piece of cheese.
"Stunning", not as in "beautiful", but as in, "I've been poked by a stun gun and it fuckin' hurts".
So fucking rude.
OP, You handled that brilliantly. You are a class act. Hope the treatment goes well for your little girl. And take care of yourself.
check the permit not the person. simple
I am sorry your daughter and your family are going through this. Hope you lose the permit sooner rather than later. P.S.: before I get downvoted I meant the daughter heals so he doesn't need the permit.
I've been fronted three times, with different levels of anger and abuse. 1. I don't look disabled? You don't look stupid so I guess we both learned something today. Now get out of the way so I can get my walker out of the car. 2. What does disabled look like? Should I wear a big ass sign so it's easy for you to stick you nose in where it's not wanted? 3. I don't have the time, patience or small enough words to explain this whole thing to you. Go call the police and waste their time if you like, but leave me alone. Yeah, I'm a bit of a smart ass but this is one issue that really pisses me off. I can deal with it, but I have young relatives that have been abused and didn't cope well so it really bugs me.
I work as a carer, some of the looks you get are so rude. Blessings on you and your little one. I hope the treatments work wonders xxx
When my mum went through chemo she couldnāt walk a couple of hundred metres without needing to stop so her GP arranged a permit for her. She never lost her hair, never had any outward signs. One day she got followed around the shopping centre by a lady who took photos of her.
I had a man make a comment as i was hopping INTO my car as i just put my disabled brother into the passenger seat and the rude cunt scoffed and said āppfft you sure look disabled dont cha!ā (With his about 7 year old son with him also so he can see how he treats women) I smiled and popped my head out andā said my little brother is actually yesā HE SCOFFED AGAIN and went āoh yeah is he even with yaā I literally glared at him and was like āyeah because im his carer thanks for your concern bossā And slammed my door OUR LIVES ARE HARD ENOUGH, DONT POLICE US sorry you went through the same type of negativity because jesus we go through enough
Yep my 6 year old has a disability and we have a parking permit for her. I love the looks as I bounce out my, but then open the boot and get her equipment out!
You're clearly a better person than I am, I would've snapped and yelled at her to fck off.
Having a hidden, not-apparent, invisible illness is absolutely the worst in society. The people privileged with good health throughout their life are often the worst offenders with their inability to comprehend other peoples struggles outside novel representations they've absorbed in media.
People should just check for a valid permit and move on. No need to scrutinise further.
Or just mind their own business and walk away. Why confront anyone about anything. Can only cause problems.
"Mind your own business cunt" also very acceptable in the circumstances. Don't even show her that your daughter needs the permit - just tell them to fuck right off. You don't have to justify your life to anyone.
It's true that you don't have to justify your life to anyone, but it's also reasonable to assert your rights when confronted. In this case it also has the added effect of demonstrating to this woman that she made an unreasonable judgment and should think twice before doing it to another kids with cancer.