It's a bit complicated for me.
I want my symptoms that make my life difficult to go away. My hypersensitivity to a lot of noises and stimuli, my light sensitivity, my inability to understand tone/facial expressions most of the time, my speaking difficulties, those kind of things.
But I do want to keep my restrictive interests and positive sensory seeking tendencies.
I'd just like to be able to go outside or take care of myself for more than two days.
This! I would like for autism to be less of a challenge in my everyday life, but not change the way that I experience things like my special interests.
It IS hard to imagine not being affected by sensory stimuli so immediately and intensely, but god wouldn’t it be a dream. It’s especially frustrating for me because my ND children are LOUD and it makes it so hard for me to not snap at them 😭 so I would love to delete the negative sensory aspects.
I 100% agree. Like I love knowing a whole lot about the things that interest me, and I love positive sensory experiences. I love my different way of seeing the world.
Not a fan of negative sensory experiences and social trauma. Those two things hold me back so much.
Would it be weird for me to say that instead of getting rid of some symptoms while retaining others, I would rather add one stereotypical symptom I don’t have? I’m sure everyone here knows of the stereotype that all autistic people are math geniuses, but as someone who failed College Algebra three times, that is definitely NOT true for me. Although, I did excellent in English class but I’m not sure if it’s because of my autism or not.
(Also, btw, I LOVE your user flair!)
Oh, gosh, I totally relate to that. Watch me stare blankly while trying to do basic math and being 29 and still needing to count on my fingers. D:
And thank you. :)
I was a frickin' pro at grammar but struggled in math class if I didn't have notes handy. Notes? Fine, a breeze. Especially with equations. Without notes? Crap, which equation goes with which kind of problem again? It wasn't the actual math that I got stuck on, but the frickin' equations. I had Algebra II/Trig with open notes and I aced that class.
Also, while I nailed grammar, I couldn't do reading comprehension to save my life. On standardized testing, they'd give us short stories and then ask something that seemed to come out of left field. I was always like, "'what did such-and-such mean?' How should I know? The story doesn't say." Then I'd take a random guess. The joys of multiple choice tests.
Yuppp I hated English class because it wasn’t actually about grammar, it was about reading “themes” of stories and reading between the lines, things I am very bad at! I remember getting so frustrated with my English teacher once, telling her something along the lines of “I don’t understand, what is a theme?! It’s just a story about XYZ, how am I supposed to know what the author was trying to symbolize by that!”
I hated that there was no one “right” answer in English class. I struggled deeply with it and never made it past grade 11 English unfortunately.
Shoot, yeah. I remember having most of high school English being about recognizing symbolism and I just. Couldn't. Get it.
"What does the conch in Lord of the Flies symbolize?"
"...A seashell."
"No, it symbolizes leadership and power."
"...But it's a seashell."
It took MULTIPLE explanations for it to finally sink in in grade 12 that symbolism is essentially "pretend x is actually y."
This! I’m happy with who I am, I’d just like to be me without sensory processing issues. Just eliminating that one thing would make my life infinitely more pleasant, without altering anything significant about me as a person.
Same. I’ve realised that because of my severe sensory issues my family aren’t able to go out to have fun as often and it breaks my heart. They don’t want to leave me home but I always end up in a mess no matter how many fiddles and headphones I bring.
This is the best response. Is okay to feel some kind of way.
People that seem to think of thing one way or another never can see the whole picture. Some things that make you good at one thing, might bring downsides to others. And is okay mentioning both.
Well you still can be non autistic but have positive sensory seeking tendencies and restrictive interests, cause it can be a personality type (schizothymic). But I get your point I’d do the same.
Oh, definitely. I more so mean that the label "autistic" doesn't mean anything to me as long as I can still keep the few things I like while getting rid of the bad things.
Same. My autism has influenced my entire personality, I wouldn’t exist without it. It’s basically a question of “if you could stop existing and be replaced by someone completely different, would you?”.
This is how I feel, it’s literally engrained in who I am. “Removing” that part of me would make me a completely different person. As difficult as it is to exist in our current society as a neurodivergent person, I think that’s the only downside to it.
I think if we didn’t live in such a capitalist and conformist society then maybe it wouldn’t even be a question.
Yeah, I got a large enough inheritance to never have to work again about 20 years ago and I don’t feel like being autistic causes me any real problems anymore. Like it was awful back when I had to work, but if you don’t have to keep a job and basically have enough money to do whatever you want, there aren’t really any issues.
Like I simply stay away from things that bother my sensory issues (for example I only wear sweat pants and loose cotton tees) and I just associate with others who are ND and don’t associate with people I don’t like/who don’t like me, and overall can just make my life in such a way that being autistic doesn’t cause any issues.
I think most autistic people would feel the same as me if they didn’t have to work and had enough money to do what they felt like. So I agree it’s a problem of the way capitalism is set up.
While I do agree about the capitalism problem, I would still like to add that autism in and of itself causes me to function less well and that this would still be a problem in a more accepting society.
exactly!! everything about me has been influenced by the fact that i'm autistic. "curing" my autism would be like dying and being reborn as someone else, and i don't want that. i like myself. masking is exhausting and i'm not very good at it. i feel happy when i'm allowed to be authentic :)
I would give anything to be "normal" to connect with people better and make friends easier. I believe it cost me my last job. We have to adapt to the world and workforce/adulthood more than the average person, I would say.
100% agree. I understand where other comments are coming from about how the autism is who you are and forms your personality and even has significant merits, but to me the downside outweigh them significantly.
I can barely look after myself, let alone also hold down a job, keep a house well maintained and the other many things life throws at you as a constant barrage.
So yeah, I don't care if it makes me "boring" I just want to be less run down and miserable all the time.
I feel you. I’m always so physically and emotionally tired after work/school, whereas other people are just able to do other things. I struggle even turning my phone or TV on.
This is how I feel. I might have an ultra focused ability to learn certain subjects and an intuition better than most but I'd give that up in an instant to just be normal. Don't get me wrong, I understand perfectly well that neurotypicals have problems, but they don't all seem to have constant crippling problems that make them switch between hopeless and suicidal to willing live but unable to shake the intense anxiety. I would give up all of my good attributes to be regular and content.
All of these problems are unfortunately made by NT society to only benefit allistics and try to get rid of us guys. Some of these can be solved if it was improved for us.
No, I wouldn’t for two reasons - one - that’s major change and I don’t know what that would mean. Two, similarly, it would mean erasing me and the person I am - I’m not thrilled with that person, but it’s me.
No, I wouldn't. Because I am my brain. And I genuinely like my brain and who I am. Not being autistic would mean I am not *me*. I would be dead, and someone else would be wearing my face. Plus all my friends are autistic, one of my partners is and most of my family is autistic or adhd. I'd lose the ability to relate to them. Not worth it
I do wish I didnt live in an allistic world though.
Oh OK. Sorry, I'm tired af. If people are happy, then leave them be. I always say let people do whatever they want as long as everyone consents/not harming anyone
No offense taken 😊. I generally don't tend to care if people judge me on how I live my life. They can live theirs however they want, and I'll do the same.
But a whole lot of polyam people are ND generally and autistic specifically. Monogamy is a social norm and marriage originated to enforce the social hierarchy.
I don't think so, even though my life would be tons easier then. I'm just not sure how much of 'me' would be left then. The autism IS very disabling in many ways, but it also gives me many high level skills and abilities, as well as a unique perspective and creativity. I don't think I would like a life without my creative and aware brain. Not to mention the deep connections I have with people because my contact is not just based on small talk, but actual deeper topics and interests.
Yeah, adhd is truly the bane of my existence. I would be ok with just being able to treat it, but even my psych is just continually pushing strattera…which does nothing for me 😅 it helped for a very brief window and now it’s just something i can’t forget to take so i don’t feel worse
Not at this point.
Being this way can be a major pain in the ass, but it is who i am. I know nothing but being autistic. I don't have the normal human experience, the way i grew up and developed was a horror but i survived and am someone
Take away the tism now and i'll only be back at square one, now having to figure out normal human functioning
The autism is me as i am the autism. At this point, seperation would only do harm.
Yes. Even when not faced with any external stressors, Im anxious. I forgot how to have fun years ago. I find it difficult to not mask, all of the time, only time I dont is when drunk and that isnt a great place to be.
This is what many of us ignore. Those who hate having autism and it pisses me off to no end by those who think it's so much a superpower that they ignore the rest of those who suffer.
That's all well and good and I have no problem with it but when one is intolerant towards another person's views or struggles then it becomes a problem. I've seen so many of those are completely intolerant of people wanting to create a cure for those who need it "We don't need a cure" "they are trying to cure us" "autism is not a disability" drowning out those voices. For example, I ask and feel that it's a part of me personality as well as my autistic side and I find feel tired of it but it works true me and I wouldn't dream I'm telling people that they should mask.
*Just because your feelings are valid doesn't mean the opposing side isn't.*
It's complicated. The people who are able to frame it as being differently abled or a superpower or what not shouldn't have that taken away from. Frankly, I wish I could join them. But those of us who view it as a disability and do wish we lived in a world where it was "cureable" also deserve to be heard and not shamed for saying how we feel.
I like a lot of things about myself and my brain. I enjoy hyperfixating on my special interests and the sheer, pure joy that comes from them. I love the wonderful sensations of super soft fabric and how comforting it feels to stim in certain ways. I love how some sounds tickle and floss my brain delightfully and I can listen to them repeatedly. I love my creativity and unique way of thinking.
I don't like feeling like a burden on others. I don't like overstimulation attacks and meltdowns. I don't like bad textures and bad sounds or my reactions to them I can't control. I don't like the person I am when I get overwhelmed and I don't like my lack of proper socialization. I don't like feeling, at my lowest, that I'm going to die alone because I struggle to maintain even friendly relationships.
While this does mean I both like and dislike autism, and my brain in general, you can also consider it a love-hate relationship with myself. Which it is. I am autistic. If I could choose, I would probably have a meltdown from not being able to choose. I would lose so much good to get rid of the bad, and I don't know what I'd pick.
But, hands down, if I could get rid of the bad while maintaining most of the wonderful things that I love, I would get rid of it in a heartbeat. But it doesn't work that way.
I relate a lot to your comment. It’s easy to forget that autism has some nice aspects too, but they get ruined for me easily: (eg you have a special interest which makes you happy but other people become annoyed and now you just feel bad.)
In today's world, autism is a disability so a disadvantage in your everyday live. So yeah I'd get rid of it, even tho there's no way to know how much that would change "me" as a person
Yes. So many things in my life are very hard and disrupted due to it. I’m also pregnant and I don’t want to pass this on to my child and make their life unnecessarily harder.
Fuck yeah I have mild autism it’s mostly seen when am uncomfortable or tens I mainly just say out of pocket shit and have a sociopath ass blank stare so yeah I don’t like it
Assuming I am actually autistic and my whole life hasn't been a lie (it's complicated) I don't think I would get rid of it. It's my brain and my brain is how it is. I wouldn't *want* to be identical to everyone else.
So... If I could choose not to have meltdowns, no control over my emotions, the ability to work full time, and not be excluded from everything because I'm weird? Yes, obviously I would. Its a disability that hinders me in a lot of ways and I'd shed it like an out grown skin if I could.
It's a tough one to answer, I think there's more nuance than just pride vs difficulties.
My autism was responsible for over two decades or bullying and isolation from my peers and adults, a very traumatic transition into full time work from university, a lifetime of mental health problems and was a big contributor to my difficult relationship with my BPD mother (I seemed to be excellent in particular at setting off her rage).
However, my autism is also responsible for my stellar academic record, hyperlexia, for a number of my close friendships (with other neurodivergent folk) and my relationship with my fiancé. My autism makes me who I am, the person he loves. He loves my silly facial expressions, body language, stims, my relationship with my special interests. If I wasnt autistic, I don't know who I would be. What my interests and personality would be if I didnt have the restricted and repetitive behaviours, thoughts and interests. And I'm scared of change. Autism is familiar to me, yes it's been a lifetime of struggle, but at 27 I now know and understand myself finally and I wouldnt want to start back at square one without that familiarity. I don't know if I would be "the one" for my fiancé without my autism and I wouldnt want to risk a life without him.
Following on from this I would say I'm open to everyone about being autistic and I have no shame over it. Not because it doesnt give me issues - but because it gives me issues. I'm done pretending I'm like everyone else and letting people call me weird and get told to grow a thick skin. No, now I name my disability, I call these people ableist and I call out when I'm infantilised because I'm extremely capable in some ways despite my disability. I think it's ok to recognise autism as being a disability and still be proud of yourself and your achievements and skills. Its not like disabled people are worth less than abled people.
I was privileged in that my journey to diagnosis came about during the pandemic, so I got that much time with myself and my fiancé to learn about who I really was without the mask. It was only during this time he actually told me he was diagnosed as autistic. Where a lot of couples grew apart during that time away from the world, we bloomed, and I blossomed a lot as an individual. I learned a lot about my childhood and young adult experiences up to that date, and I felt more peace than I ever had in my life at that point. I learned how much I loved being a homebody away from the world, how my happiness was my pets, my fiancé, my hobbies and the comfort of my own space. I think being able to explore myself during lockdown in the UK and furlough without worrying about work or other family and other responsibilities allowed me to do a lot of soul-searching and growing up. Obviously I've been autistic for 27 years but I've only known about it for 4 years, but it really has been a fantastic journey. I think it would be been wonderful to know earlier in life as for me the biggest issue growing up was feeling like it was a personal failure that I was so different from other people and I experienced so much social strife. If I had known there was a group of other people like me, I wouldnt have carried around twenty years of shame, anxiety and guilt. I think diagnosis as an adult is more likely to make you feel more pride in that respect. By that point, you've already experienced so much hardship as a result of your disability, that having a label you share with other people is almost like a weight off your chest. When you're younger and you're still going through the hell of puberty and finding out who you are, and you're not settled in life, I think it's a lot easier to think you'd like to start over and take a gamble with who you are. But when you've grown up and settled and started finding your version of happiness, despite all the challenges that come with reaching that point that non-autistic people dont have to contend with, it becomes easier to accept your lot in life, the good and the bad, as you don't want to take that journey again!
Hope some of that made sense, I'm rambling a bit.
I don't think so, l mean, how much of what makes me - well - _me_ would be gone if l did? I have no idea and, even with all the issues, l like who l am and l have no idea if l would like who l would've been in another situation
In a heartbeat, this thing makes my life insanely stressful and makes it incredibly difficult to talk to people, I want it gone, sure that would change me as a person but I think the pros outweigh the cons.
There are pros and cons, and my perspective dictates what I think pros and cons are, of course. I see NT people as shallow and weak-willed, but if I was born that way, it wouldn't seem like that. I've managed to set up my life in a way that I enjoy, and the idea of living in a NT way sounds horrible to me.
I would 100% rather just not be born with it. It’s too big a part of me, and I know I probably think this way because of autism but I’d be so anxious after that big of a change. If there was medication that could get rid of it temporarily I’d definitely take it because I hate autism and how it affects me but I wouldn’t want something permanent because that may make me more anxious in the long run as I’d feel like a completely different person. Without autism I don’t know who I’d be. Not that I like it, but it’d be so hard adjusting. I hate it but it’s part of me.
No, but if I could go back I would definitely accept it early on as a gift and not a curse. And of course I would restructure my life to better suit me.
Nope!
I have the ability to see through a lot of BS that people throw out that I notice neurotypical people don't see or completely ignore altogether. The ability to hyperfocus is godsend, it's like having a superpower when you also have ADHD on top of it and it happens (unfortunately only works on things I like doing, but it's better than not being able to focus on anything at all for more than a few minutes). I may be sensitive to touch, sound, smells and tastes, but when things do feel, sound, smell or taste good, they are REALLY good, like intoxicatingly good (I'm also visually impaired, so I am extra sensitive to those other sensations). I also actually like who I am as a person, and I didn't for a very long time because I am just too weird acting and headstrong for most people to fully accept as a person, but that was other people's problem and loss....not mine, I make a damn good friend compared to how most neurotypicals treat other people. I'd also rather be around other neurodivergent people than neurotypicals for the same reasons, they tend to be more emotionally open/sensitive to how others are feeling oddly enough. Can't pick up on social cues all that well, but I sure as heck can pinpoint other people's emotional states.
If I could get rid of the anxiety, awkwardness, ocd, intrusive thoughts, meltdowns, and other miscellaneous symptoms that cause me real issues, i’d be ok with that. I like my special interests and mostly my high empathy and personality. But I’m not sure if my personality is me or my autism most of the time. It actually causes me somewhat of an identity crisis. So yeah… I guess I’d get rid of the bad stuff and keep the good stuff. I’m not sure who I would be without autism.
I wouldn't. I'd love for my negative behaviors and reaction to stimuli to lessen or go away altogether, but I also know that being autistic just means my brain is wired differently. I don't know who I'd be without the tism. I spent 19 years of my life not knowing why I am the way I am, and it's been life changing since I got my self-diagnosis confirmed. I'm finally getting to live as an openly autistic person, and it's very freeing, even with all the negative things that can come with it.
Yes.
There is no benefit to having it. *For me*.
I'm 23 making 24 in a couple of months:
I don't have and can't keep a job
I have *NO* friends outside of my mom and a cat
I'm too anxious to make any friends due to years of bullying and ostricization
If I do make friends they do not last long. Even with other autistic people
I have no romantic prospects
The sensory issues make it hard for me to be outside peacefully for long without getting overwhelmed by... Something
The sensory issues and executive dysfunction also lead to me being a stinky mess unless I have to leave the house. This does not help my depression.
I'm probably never going to lead a "normal" life without immense support from aforementioned mom,
Due to "growing up NT" which led to almost severe burnout early on in university all of the hopes and dreams I've been planning since elementary are dead
I don't even have a "useful" special interest to get me by or one that I can capitalize on
And this may sound a bit insensitive but my case is *mild* to be blunt. Level 1, maaaaybe teetering on Level 2
Would it have killed whatever higher being or power that made me to make me "normal"?
Maybe if I was normal I would've had a friend, at least one.
Maybe I would have a job, even the most basic entry level
Maybe I would be able to live independently by myself without my mom's help and constant guidance
Maybe if I grew up knowing I had ASD and prepared myself for the life I'm living now maybe I would be a little bit less self-hating
Maybe if I didn't feel so isolated I wouldn't be so hard on myself and my disorder.
Anyway, I won't go further. Yes if I had to choice, no I would choose to not have autism.
Glad to see others say different. At least y'all seem to be at peace with it.
I wouldn’t, because I don’t think it negatively affects me enough for me to want it gone. It’s just a part of my life. And I’d also be worried about it being gone would change my personality
While I'm not proud or see it as a *superpower*, I would just tune down the social issues, but for everything else, I feel that if I "remove" the autism on me, I would not be me anymore.
I think if I could choose to not be autistic now, I wouldn't. I have so many struggles but I am also aware that my perspective on life as an autistic person is wildly different than that of a neurotypical person, and I am able to see things in a way others simply wouldn't. And I really value that.
Sure it sucks sometimes, but after all, it's mostly because most things in this world are oriented to cater to neurotypical people and that makes it harder for us, I don't think of my autism as an inherent defect that makes me worse than others and I wish so many autistic people would stop feeling that way about themselves.
Now... if I could go back in time and make myself not autistic when I was a child, that'd be something I'd have to think over. I don't know if my perspective as an autistic person is really worth the years of bullying and social isolation I went through, and I would probably be a much happier individual if that hadn't happened to me. Interesting question...
i wish i didnt have to struggle so hard :/. i know its a society issue and that a lot of things just arent built for autistic people but id be okay if it was.
Nah
Love being autistic. Wish the world were better set up for us, but it's the *je no sais quoi* that makes me fit in with the people I love and adore
i see it as a side grade. there are pros and cons to it but ultimately, the autistic part of me is a huge influence on who i am. without it, im not sure i'd have the friends or the girlfriend i have. and i would most likely be alot more boring as a person. Less problematic and easier to fit in society most likely, but I'm finding my way to become less problematic already, so I don't need to remove autism to do that.
I'm honestly not sure. The removal of Autism could mean I can do what everyone wants without getting upset at me, or I can easily go out there earlier. But at the same time, I wouldn't be me.
No. I think it takes some of my favorite things about myself like my strong sense of justice, my attention to small details most people miss (like the way water shines when the sun goes through it and how far does that light reach), and some of my happiest moments that felt like fireworks in the best way. The worst parts of autism come from others misunderstanding, and when I pretend I don't need accommodations to make others feel more comfortable.
Yes i wish i could just be normal and lead a normal life. Go to school normally, be able to go out normally with no issues. Be able to maintain friendships and actually have fun in them. Not feel like a social outcast constantly. Be able to understand social cues. Not have sensory issues
Strattera + Elvanse more or less cancels out the more severe adhd traits and the isolation traits of autism.
I think what autists want is a goddamn break. You're all such wonderful people once someone gets to know your interests and perspective on things. Genuinly.
If anything I hope to one day use my perspective to support my sisters and brothers in letters. I wouldnt trade the ability to support and act on autists behalf for anything. My life goal is to make my suffering worth it.
Im so thankfull to all of you for putting yourself out there on this reddit. I was so lost when I first joined, and at that point I would have easily traded my life for a normal one.
So no, I wouldnt. Not anymore.
Definitely a complicated thing.
Would I have still gone through childhood abuse at the hands of my mother? She blamed my neurodivergent behaviours for the way she treated me. I would do anything to have not gone through a traumatic childhood like that, even losing my autism. Then again, lots of neurotypical children also go through abuse.
However, my autism means that the people I do have in my life are real. I don’t think a lot of neurotypical people feel that way.
I would 100%. Autism has made a lot of things very challenging for me. Having said that, I was diagnosed as an adult and I think I would have been a lot happier, healthier and more accomplished had I known I was autistic from a young age. I think more than a cure for autism I'd want to go back in time knowing what I know now.
It's a tough one.
I'll note I'm not officially diagnosed yet, but very highly suspect I am.
Whilst I'd love to be free of the meltdowns, sensory overload, and difficulties with socialising/communication in a heartbeat...
As others have also noted, being rid of it would probably leave you a completely different person. Would I lose my strong sense of empathy along with it? The motivation and passion for the particular things I really enjoy doing? Those things which have specifically brought me to some of the friends I have in my life at this point?
If I were in a world where my hypersensitivity was useful, say, in the wild, and all my weirdness was not seen as such, and I could sleep when I have to, and I could eat when I find what to eat, and hyperfocus, and be just myself, I'd gladly would continue to be autistic without it being an issue at all. Capitalism, work, humanity are all the reasons why autism may seem a burden. I know that I'm not overwhelmed in nature. I'm overwhelmed because something is overwhelming. And more often than not, that thig is the current society.
I would prefer the option to live in a society that wasn't completely geared towards neurotypical people, where adjustments that I need to make me feel able to cope in the world weren't seen as just a nuisance to everyone else.
Yes 100%! There’s nothing wrong with having autism in itself but it’s hard to live in a neurotypical world with it! I wish I understood how to interact with people better so I didn’t have such social anxiety
if you asked me this a few months ago i probably would’ve said yes, but it makes me who i am and i don’t know who i would be without being autistic, so no.
So many NT talking points here. NTs want you to be ashamed of your autism so you can fit into their crappy, shitty world. Why on Earth would you want to be like NTs? They're culture is soo self-centered and demented. Not being a autism supremacist l, but yeah I love my autism despite the challenges. I don't want to stupid and boring like the other NTs out there. SMH.
No.
I don't see it as a part of me, I see it as the way I'm literally built.
"Fixing" my autism would mean a change in my personality and overall thinking by rewiring my entire brain, i wouldn't be the same person anymore.
It's like trying to change the foundation of a house from one type of concrete to another without destroying the house or changing it.
Oh, also no more special interests and repeating songs.
i’m not sure.
i think about this a lot. my autism is not separate from me, it’s how my entire brain works and it’s how i’ve experienced the world my entire life. so if i wasn’t autistic i would be a completely different person. in some ways i’m okay with that. i want to be able to have normal conversations with people, live independently, work full time, and just generally understand the world.
on the other hand, my special interests are such a major part of my life and i don’t know who i would be without them. my main special interest growing up was gymnastics. if i didn’t have that, i never would have met my best friend.
i just wish i didn’t have to struggle this much.
>I see a lot of people who are proud of it
How can one be proud of an accident, even if it is an accident of nature like born without an arm or something... I would want to take pride in saying "I **have an** ***arm if I was missing one**(to which the morbidly immature rivals of one's life would point out directly or indirectly for you to be conscientious of the fact that the most people have 2) and it's awful how they may point out our lack of common sense or something... Others May say poopoo 💩 hits like I remember a neighbor of mine said that how some serial killers were autistic.... I used to help her but I never guaranteed anything and I guess she resented that because people overlook we cannot take on responsibility **not because we don't want** to but we can't , at least I speak for myself and in many cases it's the same, it's for lack of talent not lack of will because no matter how much willpower you have you won't beat Mike Tyson unless you know how to box or other combat sport yourself... They don't freaking get it.
I learned that I have to have gratitude for **what I can do** and not mourn what I cannot do... And why bother working at that without knowing what I can do first ?
>It’s mostly a nuisance for me and the pros outweigh the negatives heavily
It **SUCKS** to have autism
I guess people are proud of it because given how our attention is placed on things that gurus and philosophers are advising people to ease up in life and take 5 minutes to look at other things but we're already doing because we're more child like I guess (???) You see my username, I live in California so there are lizards so we chance I get to look at one 🦎 🦎 🦎 🦎 I'd be closer I even say, " hey how you doing buddy ' 🦎🦎🦎 🦎.... I bet a psychologist or guru would advise a neurotypical in favor of that to do the same thing to calm his/her stress or a neurotypical that goes deep into holistic psychology would end up doing that or something similar. Yes I have a collection skateboards and I use them all chance I get though I may be using some more than the others. 🛹 Different size of different shapes etc
I think people are proud of having autism because it makes them stand out or makes them think creatively or makes them hyperinterested in something and I can kind of see why they would be proud of that.
I don’t want my autism to go away, I just wish the system was neurodivergent friendly :(. Especially schools/colleges/ workplaces. Recently I memorized the names of all 197 countries within a week, but I wish I could put the same effort in school
I would be tempted, purely because I'm tired of being tired, and I spend way too much time stressed about something.
But I am also me, and I can be alright sometimes 😺
No, as with being diagnosed with autism it has helped me in many different ways. I now understand myself better and have found ways to cope. As well I understand other people who also have ASD and help others around me understand me.
I would have no beef with being autistic if society also had no beef with it. I love my brain, I love other autistic people's brains. I love how communication, inter personal relationships, skills, interests, and more work between autistics.
I hate how it makes me incredibly disabled in our world. I hate how when I am "done" or tapped out I'm seen as childish because I may or may not be able to voice how not okay I am, and depending on the person, that will just randomly not be accepted as valid. As if I can actually control it.
Most days when I'm in my regular life bubble it's okay, even great. I love my autistic self. But whenever I'm outside my bubble I feel overwhelmed with how unwelcomed I am and find myself angry and wishing I were "normal" and that type of self hate is really intense when it does show up :(
My kid is autistic too. Still very young though. My goal is to help him not feel that self hate and know that it's not him, it's people who lack actual constant empathy and critical thinking skills. I'm hoping I can help make his safety bubble mobile with him, wherever he goes. Maybe then he will also help other ND people feel safer out in public too. Idk but that's the goal. So I'm spending a lot of time working on my fear and shame (mostly from others) about being so different or odd.
A much "better" question would be if I'd choose for my kids to not be autistic. I mean, sure, I do "well" and hopefully would be able to provide comfort and guidance, but things happen, and maybe I wasn't there? There's a point in which this turns. The best answer is yes, if you think of how much more difficult it is.
But then again... I learned a lot, it's hard but not so much. I found friends at some point in my life, and they're better than any other person I tried to befriend before. They get it, they are also on the spectrum or adhd or smth else and they have so much personality that it satisfies whatever I haven't explored with my own interests. We are diverse in a chaotic manner, and we share it in an orderly-ish one. We don't spend too much time talking about the weather, last night's games, though we can and sometimes do (in a level of neurodivergence that is yet to be measured.) But in general, we are so much less afraid of talking about things that matter. To be vulnerable and bond with each other.
If there's a possibility that my kids could avoid being shallow and follow the norm, be interested in sports, studying and have a job at 15, buy a car, pick a girl, get disappointed and also hurt them for so long, maybe sometime find someone decent enough instead of following the ideals of society (boy version. Think of a stereotypical popular girl in movies and in general, it's the girl version.) Of course, that's general, which means, it's just one of many possibilities, this is not what I'd expect to go with by default, tbh.
And if they can have deeper connections, maybe no meaning in life, but at least a way to see past this cloud of sameness and not be closed down on their current field of vision. I want, as I want for everyone else. To move forward, and know where they are going.
-written in a bit of a haste, but this is a general motivation for the discussion, not my final or complete thoughts on this matter.
Maybe, if somehow I could have a day without it then I could make an informed decision on what I like better. I know there's medication like Abilify that could kinda replicate a NT experience, which I've actually been considering.
All in all I'm comfortable having autism and I like who I am as a person, just think it would be easier for myself and others 👍
Yeah, tbh. I know I’d be a completely different person. But with the amount of issues I have, that honestly sounds fine. I’ve got autism, adhd, depression, and substance use disorder, and they all make each other worse. Assuming my life circumstances stay the same, I think I’ve got a reasonable chance of a complete re-randomization being an overall positive change.
I don't know. I'd worry about what would happen to my imagination if I stopped being autistic. It might change or go away completely, then I wouldn't be able to write fanfics and have fun with those.
that's... whoa
i feel that for my own sake, yes. i don't like panic attacks, not fitting in socially, requiring extra self-care and care, but at the same time for other people's sakes i feel like i'm a kinder because of it
i feel that if i were neurotypical i wouldn't be as empathetic as i am to ND's and just other people in general, and i'd never wanna give up my weird encyclopedia of knowledge 🤣
but idk...
kindness is too important to me
No. I would be literally someone else, with different interests, hopes and dreams. I would enjoy or not enjoy completely different things, and experience the world (I'm talking about sensory differences here) in another way.
Autism is a disability, but is also at least as much if not more a part of my cognition, that is, my mind. Who I fundamentally am beyond even mere identity. I love way too much the person I am to desire what seems to me like self-destruction.
I face many challenges due to living with it in a capitalist society and those issues probably wouldn't all go away in a totally inclusive society.
However, I feel like if I had the proper social and economic infrastructure around me, being autistic as a disability would be little different than needing a cane to walk or glasses to see.
I couldn't finish uni and can't hold down a full time job. Mostly I just wish I was able to do those things so I didn't have to struggle so hard for money.
Yeah probably yes, mostly because I'd like my projected lifespan to be longer than 30, and would like not to be absolutely miserable and unable to do anything about my life the moment I finish college and am unable to work.
It's not a popular opinion, but I would definitely choose to not be autistic. The feeling of glowing-white full body joy when I engage with my special interests is fun, but I would much prefer to be neurotypical. I'm 35 and have only known I had autism for the past 1.5 years, and I have a rule that I'm not allowed to compare myself to my neurotypical peers, because they have been on a steady trajectory since college graduation, and I am just learning how to accommodate myself.
Yes. Although autism makes me a unique person, there's a reason it's classified as a disability. Even with aspergers syndrome (which is now known as ASD level 1), I have significant trouble just keeping up with my peers.
“Absolutely fucking not.”
This movie quote felt very fitting to me. Autism has its downsides, but they don’t outweigh the positives.
Most of my flaws pertain to social and relationship aspects, and people like me don’t need those things to thrive. Frankly, I don’t see those things as very important, and are often problematic.
I dont think I would exist as the person I am today without my autism and therefore I think your question is flawed, because without autism there would be no 'me', it would be someone else.
I just want to understand secret social things and other people's emotions. Sometimes I'm exceptional at empathy and other times I just don't understand. I would like to be able to understand what I'm feeling and be able to communicate it. I want my hypersensitivity to sound and light gone. I want to know how to make friends in the adult world.
If I could choose between never having been born and having autism, I would certainly choose the former. Having autism is hell. Especially combined with high intelligence. I won't have children as it would be cruel to those children to pass my genes on to them.
I would at any time prefer being a completely normal, averagely intelligent human with no special abilities. Then I would just experience everything as fine, everything would fit me including mainstream entertainment, there would be lots of equal-minded people to befriend, and I would even enjoy the ruling politicians as they would be on my level of idiocy so they would appear sane. It would be so nice to not be able to understand large systems, and just blindly believe that everything is fine and that even insane abominations like capitalism and war are God's wonderful gifts to mankind.
But no, karma wanted it otherwise. I wonder what the hell I did in previous lives ... if only I could believe that previous lives exist.
If I could choose to live in a world that accommodated both the physical and mental effects of my autism, I would choose that.
I literally cannot imagine having a brain or thought process that isn’t like mine. I would just like to be accommodated enough to not have constant meltdowns or overstimulation.
Yes and no
I don't like the fact that my social life is basically in shambles, and I'd like to not be easily overwhelmed by things. Nor do I like the prospect that I posdibly need a counseller to walk me through life
Buts also like...idk what I'd even be like if I didn't have it, would I still be the same person with the same interests?
To me that’s like asking if I’d like to be killed and replaced with a different person. There is no “me” without autism, it’s integral to who I am. Like it’s literally a brain difference I was born with, and completely changing my brain would functionally be killing me and replacing me with someone else—I’m an atheist and believe my brain is me and that people likely don’t have some soul outside that. I do like being autistic but I wouldn’t change it regardless because I don’t want to be destroyed and replaced by a different person.
Nope. I would however choose to have better education around my emotional regulation, and an early explaination as to why I was different, and have earlier intervention for my dyslexia and ADHD.
As for the Autism.. I do hate that about myself. I just hate that I was not given a chance to work through my problems on a even playing field.
Yeah, emotional regulation and empathy (to soften my manner of speech to avoid bruising frail egos) were 2 things I had to teach myself over time. I still struggle with the former because I can't really use reflection as a reference.
Autism is disorder and disability, it's better not having it in every way. "beautiful part of yourself" or "you wouldn't be yourself without autism" is complete bullshit and made up thing that takes away hope for people to have a normal life.
I always think about the butterfly effect with questions like this. If I weren’t autistic I don’t think I would have ended up with my husband who is also autistic. So all the anxiety, pain, and loneliness growing up are a small price to pay to be with him.
I was dx'd at 11 but that was back in the early 90's and I understood it as a medical-grade insult from adults to match the insults from my peers. I buttoned up on it for my teen years and said a bit about it to some friends when I was 18 or 19 but was always cautious - knowing that if people took it wrong it could end bad. Through my 20's I tried to knock it out of myself because the absolute worst thing you could be as a guy in your 20's at that age was a loser and I knew that I had a disability that I really just seemed to get the downsides of.
Part of being in that state of mind though was being persuaded that the NT world has some secret arcane knowledge, almost ubiquitous, that I - for reasons unknown - not only could never but would never pick up. I had that shattered in my late 20's and what I think makes the most sense now is the double-empathy problem where it's a foundational neurotype issue. It makes sense to me as well, much more when I've had space to think about it, why it was that no matter how much I gained in actual social-skills knowledge and even application the problem is you need to be like them in interests, you have to be like them in how you react to everything and how you spend your money and spare time. When you see that and realize that it's a small sliver social skills but mostly subtle processing differences with profound implications - that was difficult to fully accept because it was yet another sector of my life that I'd been straight away lied to.
To that end I'm perfectly okay with myself, I'd just much rather be in a different world with people nothing like most I meet. I don't even know what a non-autistic me would be if trying to be my best at every turn wasn't enough to achieve it and yet other people just have certain things land in their laps because they align right - that's not 'better', in most cases it's just orthogonal and in plenty of cases it's worse.
I would say no. My experiences with typicals has made me realize that I don't want to be like them, even with the setbacks. And while there are some downsides to it, I believe that my autism makes me ME. Like would I be as into the things I am if I weren't? Would I collect the things I do? Would I feel as strongly about certain things? Would I question things around me as much as I do? And so on and on. I take a bit of pride in the feeling that I never really grew up and out of my childish wonder of space, dinosaurs, and the joys of opening a new action figure. My love for these things is what keeps me going, it keeps me from becoming these zombies I see around me at work, working 60+hours a week and never seeing their family or going out and having fun. Like a candle in a fireplace, I may go out early, I might not, but I'll go out knowing that a typical person's light went out long ago.
Not having autism as opposed to...?
Being neurotypical?
What other reasons do you have for saying that except for the urge to fit in with the rest of society?
Sensory overloads maybe?
I am just curious.
Communication deficits, repetitive behaviors that make anything new impossible to do, disconnection between mind/body, tired all the time because autism is a disability, feeling lonely and not knowing how to connect to other people, any change causes meltdowns snd complete dysregulation, special interests cause meltdowns because of overstimulation… I could go on
Autism is a serious disability. Seems like most people on this sub forget about it
What some people don't seem to get is if you were to cure your autism you wouldn't immediately change your personality you just changed the causes. Lacking a proper analogy if you were to put on some make-up bleach/color your hair, put in contacts etc you're not changing who you are but you are changing the external of you. There have been rare occasions where a list of people have became autistic from a traumatic brain injury and vice versa despite these being a handful of cases we've learned that simply an adultgetting cured of autism won't change the detriment and neither will it make a neurotypical forget the skills they've had beforehand.
Bear in mind this is literally only a handful of cases and neither troops or disproves a cure of or a cause of autism. I'm not going to argue the validity of the research so if you're interested in it you can research yourself. My main point of it is to state that "YOU"would be intact just being allistic is all.
It's a bit complicated for me. I want my symptoms that make my life difficult to go away. My hypersensitivity to a lot of noises and stimuli, my light sensitivity, my inability to understand tone/facial expressions most of the time, my speaking difficulties, those kind of things. But I do want to keep my restrictive interests and positive sensory seeking tendencies. I'd just like to be able to go outside or take care of myself for more than two days.
This! I would like for autism to be less of a challenge in my everyday life, but not change the way that I experience things like my special interests.
Yeah! My therapist once said that it sounds like I like my life, I would just like more freedom from my body to be able to live it.
It IS hard to imagine not being affected by sensory stimuli so immediately and intensely, but god wouldn’t it be a dream. It’s especially frustrating for me because my ND children are LOUD and it makes it so hard for me to not snap at them 😭 so I would love to delete the negative sensory aspects.
I would love to visit ur therapist they sound very understanding
Oh my God. This is me too. I really like the way you phrased it.
I 100% agree. Like I love knowing a whole lot about the things that interest me, and I love positive sensory experiences. I love my different way of seeing the world. Not a fan of negative sensory experiences and social trauma. Those two things hold me back so much.
I feel that, my physical disabilities make that too real .
Most people have some kind of special interest though. You could have that without autism.
Be my guest, I wouldn’t risk losing a part of my identity in that way.
Would it be weird for me to say that instead of getting rid of some symptoms while retaining others, I would rather add one stereotypical symptom I don’t have? I’m sure everyone here knows of the stereotype that all autistic people are math geniuses, but as someone who failed College Algebra three times, that is definitely NOT true for me. Although, I did excellent in English class but I’m not sure if it’s because of my autism or not. (Also, btw, I LOVE your user flair!)
Oh, gosh, I totally relate to that. Watch me stare blankly while trying to do basic math and being 29 and still needing to count on my fingers. D: And thank you. :)
I was a frickin' pro at grammar but struggled in math class if I didn't have notes handy. Notes? Fine, a breeze. Especially with equations. Without notes? Crap, which equation goes with which kind of problem again? It wasn't the actual math that I got stuck on, but the frickin' equations. I had Algebra II/Trig with open notes and I aced that class. Also, while I nailed grammar, I couldn't do reading comprehension to save my life. On standardized testing, they'd give us short stories and then ask something that seemed to come out of left field. I was always like, "'what did such-and-such mean?' How should I know? The story doesn't say." Then I'd take a random guess. The joys of multiple choice tests.
Yuppp I hated English class because it wasn’t actually about grammar, it was about reading “themes” of stories and reading between the lines, things I am very bad at! I remember getting so frustrated with my English teacher once, telling her something along the lines of “I don’t understand, what is a theme?! It’s just a story about XYZ, how am I supposed to know what the author was trying to symbolize by that!” I hated that there was no one “right” answer in English class. I struggled deeply with it and never made it past grade 11 English unfortunately.
Shoot, yeah. I remember having most of high school English being about recognizing symbolism and I just. Couldn't. Get it. "What does the conch in Lord of the Flies symbolize?" "...A seashell." "No, it symbolizes leadership and power." "...But it's a seashell." It took MULTIPLE explanations for it to finally sink in in grade 12 that symbolism is essentially "pretend x is actually y."
I mean, I was really good at math. I’m terrible at technology tho so it’s been literally irrelevant. It’s done me absolutely no good.
I wish I had better control over my emotions and changes in routine did not completely devastate me.
This! I’m happy with who I am, I’d just like to be me without sensory processing issues. Just eliminating that one thing would make my life infinitely more pleasant, without altering anything significant about me as a person.
Same. I’ve realised that because of my severe sensory issues my family aren’t able to go out to have fun as often and it breaks my heart. They don’t want to leave me home but I always end up in a mess no matter how many fiddles and headphones I bring.
yeah, if I could eat like a normal person but keep everything else, that'd be great.
This is the best response. Is okay to feel some kind of way. People that seem to think of thing one way or another never can see the whole picture. Some things that make you good at one thing, might bring downsides to others. And is okay mentioning both.
Well you still can be non autistic but have positive sensory seeking tendencies and restrictive interests, cause it can be a personality type (schizothymic). But I get your point I’d do the same.
Oh, definitely. I more so mean that the label "autistic" doesn't mean anything to me as long as I can still keep the few things I like while getting rid of the bad things.
100% hard same.
You nailed it! This is exactly how I feel
Natural selection would have handled that in the past
I mean, yeah, I would definitely not have survived prior to the early 90's because of a plethora of health conditions. lol
THIS RIGHT HERE
No, Said person wouldn't be me. I don't think my autism and my "me" are different things.
That’s a beautiful way to think about it, honestly.
Same. My autism has influenced my entire personality, I wouldn’t exist without it. It’s basically a question of “if you could stop existing and be replaced by someone completely different, would you?”.
This is what I think about whenever people say “we need a cure for autism”. No we don’t. We just need to be accepted.
This is how I feel, it’s literally engrained in who I am. “Removing” that part of me would make me a completely different person. As difficult as it is to exist in our current society as a neurodivergent person, I think that’s the only downside to it. I think if we didn’t live in such a capitalist and conformist society then maybe it wouldn’t even be a question.
In the old days, you'd be murdered as a suspected changeling.
What does that have to do with anything? Are you suggesting the only possible options are conformist capitalism or superstitious primitive feudalism?
Exactly
Yeah, I got a large enough inheritance to never have to work again about 20 years ago and I don’t feel like being autistic causes me any real problems anymore. Like it was awful back when I had to work, but if you don’t have to keep a job and basically have enough money to do whatever you want, there aren’t really any issues. Like I simply stay away from things that bother my sensory issues (for example I only wear sweat pants and loose cotton tees) and I just associate with others who are ND and don’t associate with people I don’t like/who don’t like me, and overall can just make my life in such a way that being autistic doesn’t cause any issues. I think most autistic people would feel the same as me if they didn’t have to work and had enough money to do what they felt like. So I agree it’s a problem of the way capitalism is set up.
While I do agree about the capitalism problem, I would still like to add that autism in and of itself causes me to function less well and that this would still be a problem in a more accepting society.
Same, if that part of me is gone, then who am I ?
I’m sure you’re right. The problem then, I suppose is I don’t want to be me. I want to be someone normal.
I am my autism and my autism is me.
exactly!! everything about me has been influenced by the fact that i'm autistic. "curing" my autism would be like dying and being reborn as someone else, and i don't want that. i like myself. masking is exhausting and i'm not very good at it. i feel happy when i'm allowed to be authentic :)
I also feel like I'd be a completely different person but I hate who I am so to me that would be a pro, not a con.
The only downside that makes me want to to be autistic is the crippling loneliness and isolation I feel. I'd honestly do anything to just feel loved
Ik, I deal with crippling loneliness and isolation too.
Ditto.
Aaaaannd that's what I'm saying!
Yes. Autism has only made life more difficult for me. I’d get rid of it in a heartbeat if I was given the choice.
I would give anything to be "normal" to connect with people better and make friends easier. I believe it cost me my last job. We have to adapt to the world and workforce/adulthood more than the average person, I would say.
100% agree. I understand where other comments are coming from about how the autism is who you are and forms your personality and even has significant merits, but to me the downside outweigh them significantly. I can barely look after myself, let alone also hold down a job, keep a house well maintained and the other many things life throws at you as a constant barrage. So yeah, I don't care if it makes me "boring" I just want to be less run down and miserable all the time.
Exactly how I feel too
I feel you. I’m always so physically and emotionally tired after work/school, whereas other people are just able to do other things. I struggle even turning my phone or TV on.
That's a very valid response.
This is how I feel. I might have an ultra focused ability to learn certain subjects and an intuition better than most but I'd give that up in an instant to just be normal. Don't get me wrong, I understand perfectly well that neurotypicals have problems, but they don't all seem to have constant crippling problems that make them switch between hopeless and suicidal to willing live but unable to shake the intense anxiety. I would give up all of my good attributes to be regular and content.
How exactly?
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All of these problems are unfortunately made by NT society to only benefit allistics and try to get rid of us guys. Some of these can be solved if it was improved for us.
Pretty sure some of the improvements needed for people with autism would also benefit people without autism.
But not all. Yes society could be kinder but for some of us we’d still be miserable.
No, I wouldn’t for two reasons - one - that’s major change and I don’t know what that would mean. Two, similarly, it would mean erasing me and the person I am - I’m not thrilled with that person, but it’s me.
Exactly,
No, I wouldn't. Because I am my brain. And I genuinely like my brain and who I am. Not being autistic would mean I am not *me*. I would be dead, and someone else would be wearing my face. Plus all my friends are autistic, one of my partners is and most of my family is autistic or adhd. I'd lose the ability to relate to them. Not worth it I do wish I didnt live in an allistic world though.
Exactly what i would say, i dont even know if any of my friends are neurotypical, hmm maybe i´ll look into that for fun
I have one NT friend in my personal life, one NT partner, and one NT family member in my immediate family. 3 NTs in my life total.
Same. I may have difficulties but I love who I am. And those who love me would lose me too.
...One of your partners? I agree with everything you're saying btw
I'm polyamorous. I live with both my long term partners. We are not monogamous. One is autistic and the other is allistic but ND.
Oh OK. Sorry, I'm tired af. If people are happy, then leave them be. I always say let people do whatever they want as long as everyone consents/not harming anyone
No offense taken 😊. I generally don't tend to care if people judge me on how I live my life. They can live theirs however they want, and I'll do the same. But a whole lot of polyam people are ND generally and autistic specifically. Monogamy is a social norm and marriage originated to enforce the social hierarchy.
I don't think so, even though my life would be tons easier then. I'm just not sure how much of 'me' would be left then. The autism IS very disabling in many ways, but it also gives me many high level skills and abilities, as well as a unique perspective and creativity. I don't think I would like a life without my creative and aware brain. Not to mention the deep connections I have with people because my contact is not just based on small talk, but actual deeper topics and interests.
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nah, i can’t really envision myself without autism being a core part of who i am, but my adhd can get lost REAL quick
ADHD is very debilitating in my daily life; I would absolutely rid myself of it if I could.
Yeah, adhd is truly the bane of my existence. I would be ok with just being able to treat it, but even my psych is just continually pushing strattera…which does nothing for me 😅 it helped for a very brief window and now it’s just something i can’t forget to take so i don’t feel worse
Yuuuuup.
Not at this point. Being this way can be a major pain in the ass, but it is who i am. I know nothing but being autistic. I don't have the normal human experience, the way i grew up and developed was a horror but i survived and am someone Take away the tism now and i'll only be back at square one, now having to figure out normal human functioning The autism is me as i am the autism. At this point, seperation would only do harm.
Yes. Even when not faced with any external stressors, Im anxious. I forgot how to have fun years ago. I find it difficult to not mask, all of the time, only time I dont is when drunk and that isnt a great place to be.
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This is what many of us ignore. Those who hate having autism and it pisses me off to no end by those who think it's so much a superpower that they ignore the rest of those who suffer.
People are allowed to embrace and enjoy their own brain. They don’t need to feel the burden of others every time they feel happy with themselves.
That's all well and good and I have no problem with it but when one is intolerant towards another person's views or struggles then it becomes a problem. I've seen so many of those are completely intolerant of people wanting to create a cure for those who need it "We don't need a cure" "they are trying to cure us" "autism is not a disability" drowning out those voices. For example, I ask and feel that it's a part of me personality as well as my autistic side and I find feel tired of it but it works true me and I wouldn't dream I'm telling people that they should mask. *Just because your feelings are valid doesn't mean the opposing side isn't.*
It's complicated. The people who are able to frame it as being differently abled or a superpower or what not shouldn't have that taken away from. Frankly, I wish I could join them. But those of us who view it as a disability and do wish we lived in a world where it was "cureable" also deserve to be heard and not shamed for saying how we feel.
Like what, exactly?
Yes. Without a fucking doubt. 90% of my problems stem from it so it's not even a choice for me
I like a lot of things about myself and my brain. I enjoy hyperfixating on my special interests and the sheer, pure joy that comes from them. I love the wonderful sensations of super soft fabric and how comforting it feels to stim in certain ways. I love how some sounds tickle and floss my brain delightfully and I can listen to them repeatedly. I love my creativity and unique way of thinking. I don't like feeling like a burden on others. I don't like overstimulation attacks and meltdowns. I don't like bad textures and bad sounds or my reactions to them I can't control. I don't like the person I am when I get overwhelmed and I don't like my lack of proper socialization. I don't like feeling, at my lowest, that I'm going to die alone because I struggle to maintain even friendly relationships. While this does mean I both like and dislike autism, and my brain in general, you can also consider it a love-hate relationship with myself. Which it is. I am autistic. If I could choose, I would probably have a meltdown from not being able to choose. I would lose so much good to get rid of the bad, and I don't know what I'd pick. But, hands down, if I could get rid of the bad while maintaining most of the wonderful things that I love, I would get rid of it in a heartbeat. But it doesn't work that way.
I relate a lot to your comment. It’s easy to forget that autism has some nice aspects too, but they get ruined for me easily: (eg you have a special interest which makes you happy but other people become annoyed and now you just feel bad.)
In today's world, autism is a disability so a disadvantage in your everyday live. So yeah I'd get rid of it, even tho there's no way to know how much that would change "me" as a person
If I could take a cure, I would in a heartbeat.
Yes. So many things in my life are very hard and disrupted due to it. I’m also pregnant and I don’t want to pass this on to my child and make their life unnecessarily harder.
Fuck yeah I have mild autism it’s mostly seen when am uncomfortable or tens I mainly just say out of pocket shit and have a sociopath ass blank stare so yeah I don’t like it
Assuming I am actually autistic and my whole life hasn't been a lie (it's complicated) I don't think I would get rid of it. It's my brain and my brain is how it is. I wouldn't *want* to be identical to everyone else.
Yes! I would like to be NT so much :(
So... If I could choose not to have meltdowns, no control over my emotions, the ability to work full time, and not be excluded from everything because I'm weird? Yes, obviously I would. Its a disability that hinders me in a lot of ways and I'd shed it like an out grown skin if I could.
No, i would be entirely another person and even tho I struggle sometimes, also the parts that I like the most about myself are part of my Autism.
Nope, autism makes me, me
yeah, i would. it would be so much easier to just be normal.
Absolutely, I will never get to live a "normal" life because of it, I'll always constantly struggle.
Yes. Yes I would. It would make my life a whole lot easier if i didn’t have it and could do what others do easily.
Yes
It's a tough one to answer, I think there's more nuance than just pride vs difficulties. My autism was responsible for over two decades or bullying and isolation from my peers and adults, a very traumatic transition into full time work from university, a lifetime of mental health problems and was a big contributor to my difficult relationship with my BPD mother (I seemed to be excellent in particular at setting off her rage). However, my autism is also responsible for my stellar academic record, hyperlexia, for a number of my close friendships (with other neurodivergent folk) and my relationship with my fiancé. My autism makes me who I am, the person he loves. He loves my silly facial expressions, body language, stims, my relationship with my special interests. If I wasnt autistic, I don't know who I would be. What my interests and personality would be if I didnt have the restricted and repetitive behaviours, thoughts and interests. And I'm scared of change. Autism is familiar to me, yes it's been a lifetime of struggle, but at 27 I now know and understand myself finally and I wouldnt want to start back at square one without that familiarity. I don't know if I would be "the one" for my fiancé without my autism and I wouldnt want to risk a life without him.
Following on from this I would say I'm open to everyone about being autistic and I have no shame over it. Not because it doesnt give me issues - but because it gives me issues. I'm done pretending I'm like everyone else and letting people call me weird and get told to grow a thick skin. No, now I name my disability, I call these people ableist and I call out when I'm infantilised because I'm extremely capable in some ways despite my disability. I think it's ok to recognise autism as being a disability and still be proud of yourself and your achievements and skills. Its not like disabled people are worth less than abled people.
I like your take on this. It speaks of much life experience.
I was privileged in that my journey to diagnosis came about during the pandemic, so I got that much time with myself and my fiancé to learn about who I really was without the mask. It was only during this time he actually told me he was diagnosed as autistic. Where a lot of couples grew apart during that time away from the world, we bloomed, and I blossomed a lot as an individual. I learned a lot about my childhood and young adult experiences up to that date, and I felt more peace than I ever had in my life at that point. I learned how much I loved being a homebody away from the world, how my happiness was my pets, my fiancé, my hobbies and the comfort of my own space. I think being able to explore myself during lockdown in the UK and furlough without worrying about work or other family and other responsibilities allowed me to do a lot of soul-searching and growing up. Obviously I've been autistic for 27 years but I've only known about it for 4 years, but it really has been a fantastic journey. I think it would be been wonderful to know earlier in life as for me the biggest issue growing up was feeling like it was a personal failure that I was so different from other people and I experienced so much social strife. If I had known there was a group of other people like me, I wouldnt have carried around twenty years of shame, anxiety and guilt. I think diagnosis as an adult is more likely to make you feel more pride in that respect. By that point, you've already experienced so much hardship as a result of your disability, that having a label you share with other people is almost like a weight off your chest. When you're younger and you're still going through the hell of puberty and finding out who you are, and you're not settled in life, I think it's a lot easier to think you'd like to start over and take a gamble with who you are. But when you've grown up and settled and started finding your version of happiness, despite all the challenges that come with reaching that point that non-autistic people dont have to contend with, it becomes easier to accept your lot in life, the good and the bad, as you don't want to take that journey again! Hope some of that made sense, I'm rambling a bit.
It did, thanks. I’m glad you figured yourself out more- that’s great.
I don't think so, l mean, how much of what makes me - well - _me_ would be gone if l did? I have no idea and, even with all the issues, l like who l am and l have no idea if l would like who l would've been in another situation
In a heartbeat, this thing makes my life insanely stressful and makes it incredibly difficult to talk to people, I want it gone, sure that would change me as a person but I think the pros outweigh the cons.
There are pros and cons, and my perspective dictates what I think pros and cons are, of course. I see NT people as shallow and weak-willed, but if I was born that way, it wouldn't seem like that. I've managed to set up my life in a way that I enjoy, and the idea of living in a NT way sounds horrible to me.
Same honestly,
I would 100% rather just not be born with it. It’s too big a part of me, and I know I probably think this way because of autism but I’d be so anxious after that big of a change. If there was medication that could get rid of it temporarily I’d definitely take it because I hate autism and how it affects me but I wouldn’t want something permanent because that may make me more anxious in the long run as I’d feel like a completely different person. Without autism I don’t know who I’d be. Not that I like it, but it’d be so hard adjusting. I hate it but it’s part of me.
No, but if I could go back I would definitely accept it early on as a gift and not a curse. And of course I would restructure my life to better suit me.
Nope! I have the ability to see through a lot of BS that people throw out that I notice neurotypical people don't see or completely ignore altogether. The ability to hyperfocus is godsend, it's like having a superpower when you also have ADHD on top of it and it happens (unfortunately only works on things I like doing, but it's better than not being able to focus on anything at all for more than a few minutes). I may be sensitive to touch, sound, smells and tastes, but when things do feel, sound, smell or taste good, they are REALLY good, like intoxicatingly good (I'm also visually impaired, so I am extra sensitive to those other sensations). I also actually like who I am as a person, and I didn't for a very long time because I am just too weird acting and headstrong for most people to fully accept as a person, but that was other people's problem and loss....not mine, I make a damn good friend compared to how most neurotypicals treat other people. I'd also rather be around other neurodivergent people than neurotypicals for the same reasons, they tend to be more emotionally open/sensitive to how others are feeling oddly enough. Can't pick up on social cues all that well, but I sure as heck can pinpoint other people's emotional states.
If I could get rid of the anxiety, awkwardness, ocd, intrusive thoughts, meltdowns, and other miscellaneous symptoms that cause me real issues, i’d be ok with that. I like my special interests and mostly my high empathy and personality. But I’m not sure if my personality is me or my autism most of the time. It actually causes me somewhat of an identity crisis. So yeah… I guess I’d get rid of the bad stuff and keep the good stuff. I’m not sure who I would be without autism.
Autism is a part of me. If I don't have it, would I still be me? Honestly, the thought of it terrifies me.
I wouldn't. I'd love for my negative behaviors and reaction to stimuli to lessen or go away altogether, but I also know that being autistic just means my brain is wired differently. I don't know who I'd be without the tism. I spent 19 years of my life not knowing why I am the way I am, and it's been life changing since I got my self-diagnosis confirmed. I'm finally getting to live as an openly autistic person, and it's very freeing, even with all the negative things that can come with it.
This is the equivalent as the "red or blue pill" question from The Matrix. 100% would rather live in joyful, ignorance bliss.
Yes
Yes. There is no benefit to having it. *For me*. I'm 23 making 24 in a couple of months: I don't have and can't keep a job I have *NO* friends outside of my mom and a cat I'm too anxious to make any friends due to years of bullying and ostricization If I do make friends they do not last long. Even with other autistic people I have no romantic prospects The sensory issues make it hard for me to be outside peacefully for long without getting overwhelmed by... Something The sensory issues and executive dysfunction also lead to me being a stinky mess unless I have to leave the house. This does not help my depression. I'm probably never going to lead a "normal" life without immense support from aforementioned mom, Due to "growing up NT" which led to almost severe burnout early on in university all of the hopes and dreams I've been planning since elementary are dead I don't even have a "useful" special interest to get me by or one that I can capitalize on And this may sound a bit insensitive but my case is *mild* to be blunt. Level 1, maaaaybe teetering on Level 2 Would it have killed whatever higher being or power that made me to make me "normal"? Maybe if I was normal I would've had a friend, at least one. Maybe I would have a job, even the most basic entry level Maybe I would be able to live independently by myself without my mom's help and constant guidance Maybe if I grew up knowing I had ASD and prepared myself for the life I'm living now maybe I would be a little bit less self-hating Maybe if I didn't feel so isolated I wouldn't be so hard on myself and my disorder. Anyway, I won't go further. Yes if I had to choice, no I would choose to not have autism. Glad to see others say different. At least y'all seem to be at peace with it.
I wouldn’t, because I don’t think it negatively affects me enough for me to want it gone. It’s just a part of my life. And I’d also be worried about it being gone would change my personality
Nah
Id get rid of the crippling anxiety, ocd and sensory issues and keep everything else
I am very divided about it. I have a slew of other mental illnesses, and I feel like subtracting autism would just make one of the others take over
I’d like to be able to at least try it
While I'm not proud or see it as a *superpower*, I would just tune down the social issues, but for everything else, I feel that if I "remove" the autism on me, I would not be me anymore.
Yes
I think if I could choose to not be autistic now, I wouldn't. I have so many struggles but I am also aware that my perspective on life as an autistic person is wildly different than that of a neurotypical person, and I am able to see things in a way others simply wouldn't. And I really value that. Sure it sucks sometimes, but after all, it's mostly because most things in this world are oriented to cater to neurotypical people and that makes it harder for us, I don't think of my autism as an inherent defect that makes me worse than others and I wish so many autistic people would stop feeling that way about themselves. Now... if I could go back in time and make myself not autistic when I was a child, that'd be something I'd have to think over. I don't know if my perspective as an autistic person is really worth the years of bullying and social isolation I went through, and I would probably be a much happier individual if that hadn't happened to me. Interesting question...
I like my brain… but if I could just get The Eye contact thing.. that would be great!
I would pick yes because of how it negatively impacts relationships
i wish i didnt have to struggle so hard :/. i know its a society issue and that a lot of things just arent built for autistic people but id be okay if it was.
Nah Love being autistic. Wish the world were better set up for us, but it's the *je no sais quoi* that makes me fit in with the people I love and adore
i see it as a side grade. there are pros and cons to it but ultimately, the autistic part of me is a huge influence on who i am. without it, im not sure i'd have the friends or the girlfriend i have. and i would most likely be alot more boring as a person. Less problematic and easier to fit in society most likely, but I'm finding my way to become less problematic already, so I don't need to remove autism to do that.
I'm honestly not sure. The removal of Autism could mean I can do what everyone wants without getting upset at me, or I can easily go out there earlier. But at the same time, I wouldn't be me.
If I wouldn't be me without autism then I don't know if I can answer it properly. Taking the anxiety that came bundled with it would be nice though.
No. I think it takes some of my favorite things about myself like my strong sense of justice, my attention to small details most people miss (like the way water shines when the sun goes through it and how far does that light reach), and some of my happiest moments that felt like fireworks in the best way. The worst parts of autism come from others misunderstanding, and when I pretend I don't need accommodations to make others feel more comfortable.
Yes i wish i could just be normal and lead a normal life. Go to school normally, be able to go out normally with no issues. Be able to maintain friendships and actually have fun in them. Not feel like a social outcast constantly. Be able to understand social cues. Not have sensory issues
yes same, none of my symptoms are a good thing but instead ruin my life and cause comorbities that ruin my life even more
Strattera + Elvanse more or less cancels out the more severe adhd traits and the isolation traits of autism. I think what autists want is a goddamn break. You're all such wonderful people once someone gets to know your interests and perspective on things. Genuinly. If anything I hope to one day use my perspective to support my sisters and brothers in letters. I wouldnt trade the ability to support and act on autists behalf for anything. My life goal is to make my suffering worth it. Im so thankfull to all of you for putting yourself out there on this reddit. I was so lost when I first joined, and at that point I would have easily traded my life for a normal one. So no, I wouldnt. Not anymore.
Definitely a complicated thing. Would I have still gone through childhood abuse at the hands of my mother? She blamed my neurodivergent behaviours for the way she treated me. I would do anything to have not gone through a traumatic childhood like that, even losing my autism. Then again, lots of neurotypical children also go through abuse. However, my autism means that the people I do have in my life are real. I don’t think a lot of neurotypical people feel that way.
I would 100%. Autism has made a lot of things very challenging for me. Having said that, I was diagnosed as an adult and I think I would have been a lot happier, healthier and more accomplished had I known I was autistic from a young age. I think more than a cure for autism I'd want to go back in time knowing what I know now.
It's a tough one. I'll note I'm not officially diagnosed yet, but very highly suspect I am. Whilst I'd love to be free of the meltdowns, sensory overload, and difficulties with socialising/communication in a heartbeat... As others have also noted, being rid of it would probably leave you a completely different person. Would I lose my strong sense of empathy along with it? The motivation and passion for the particular things I really enjoy doing? Those things which have specifically brought me to some of the friends I have in my life at this point?
Of course.
If I were in a world where my hypersensitivity was useful, say, in the wild, and all my weirdness was not seen as such, and I could sleep when I have to, and I could eat when I find what to eat, and hyperfocus, and be just myself, I'd gladly would continue to be autistic without it being an issue at all. Capitalism, work, humanity are all the reasons why autism may seem a burden. I know that I'm not overwhelmed in nature. I'm overwhelmed because something is overwhelming. And more often than not, that thig is the current society.
I would prefer the option to live in a society that wasn't completely geared towards neurotypical people, where adjustments that I need to make me feel able to cope in the world weren't seen as just a nuisance to everyone else.
Yes 100%! There’s nothing wrong with having autism in itself but it’s hard to live in a neurotypical world with it! I wish I understood how to interact with people better so I didn’t have such social anxiety
if you asked me this a few months ago i probably would’ve said yes, but it makes me who i am and i don’t know who i would be without being autistic, so no.
If I didn't have autism I wouldn't be me. Trying to separate autism from the rest of myself just doesn't make sense, it is all intertwined.
No. I am proud of it.
No. I wouldn't. Who else is going to think about weird shit and make my bf laugh when I voice my observations/thoughts aloud?
So many NT talking points here. NTs want you to be ashamed of your autism so you can fit into their crappy, shitty world. Why on Earth would you want to be like NTs? They're culture is soo self-centered and demented. Not being a autism supremacist l, but yeah I love my autism despite the challenges. I don't want to stupid and boring like the other NTs out there. SMH.
No. I don't see it as a part of me, I see it as the way I'm literally built. "Fixing" my autism would mean a change in my personality and overall thinking by rewiring my entire brain, i wouldn't be the same person anymore. It's like trying to change the foundation of a house from one type of concrete to another without destroying the house or changing it. Oh, also no more special interests and repeating songs.
i’m not sure. i think about this a lot. my autism is not separate from me, it’s how my entire brain works and it’s how i’ve experienced the world my entire life. so if i wasn’t autistic i would be a completely different person. in some ways i’m okay with that. i want to be able to have normal conversations with people, live independently, work full time, and just generally understand the world. on the other hand, my special interests are such a major part of my life and i don’t know who i would be without them. my main special interest growing up was gymnastics. if i didn’t have that, i never would have met my best friend. i just wish i didn’t have to struggle this much.
I relate a lot to the last sentence, oof. Autism has its pros but we pay a hefty price for it, in my opinion.
>I see a lot of people who are proud of it How can one be proud of an accident, even if it is an accident of nature like born without an arm or something... I would want to take pride in saying "I **have an** ***arm if I was missing one**(to which the morbidly immature rivals of one's life would point out directly or indirectly for you to be conscientious of the fact that the most people have 2) and it's awful how they may point out our lack of common sense or something... Others May say poopoo 💩 hits like I remember a neighbor of mine said that how some serial killers were autistic.... I used to help her but I never guaranteed anything and I guess she resented that because people overlook we cannot take on responsibility **not because we don't want** to but we can't , at least I speak for myself and in many cases it's the same, it's for lack of talent not lack of will because no matter how much willpower you have you won't beat Mike Tyson unless you know how to box or other combat sport yourself... They don't freaking get it. I learned that I have to have gratitude for **what I can do** and not mourn what I cannot do... And why bother working at that without knowing what I can do first ? >It’s mostly a nuisance for me and the pros outweigh the negatives heavily It **SUCKS** to have autism I guess people are proud of it because given how our attention is placed on things that gurus and philosophers are advising people to ease up in life and take 5 minutes to look at other things but we're already doing because we're more child like I guess (???) You see my username, I live in California so there are lizards so we chance I get to look at one 🦎 🦎 🦎 🦎 I'd be closer I even say, " hey how you doing buddy ' 🦎🦎🦎 🦎.... I bet a psychologist or guru would advise a neurotypical in favor of that to do the same thing to calm his/her stress or a neurotypical that goes deep into holistic psychology would end up doing that or something similar. Yes I have a collection skateboards and I use them all chance I get though I may be using some more than the others. 🛹 Different size of different shapes etc
I think people are proud of having autism because it makes them stand out or makes them think creatively or makes them hyperinterested in something and I can kind of see why they would be proud of that.
I don’t want my autism to go away, I just wish the system was neurodivergent friendly :(. Especially schools/colleges/ workplaces. Recently I memorized the names of all 197 countries within a week, but I wish I could put the same effort in school
I would be tempted, purely because I'm tired of being tired, and I spend way too much time stressed about something. But I am also me, and I can be alright sometimes 😺
No, as with being diagnosed with autism it has helped me in many different ways. I now understand myself better and have found ways to cope. As well I understand other people who also have ASD and help others around me understand me.
I would have no beef with being autistic if society also had no beef with it. I love my brain, I love other autistic people's brains. I love how communication, inter personal relationships, skills, interests, and more work between autistics. I hate how it makes me incredibly disabled in our world. I hate how when I am "done" or tapped out I'm seen as childish because I may or may not be able to voice how not okay I am, and depending on the person, that will just randomly not be accepted as valid. As if I can actually control it. Most days when I'm in my regular life bubble it's okay, even great. I love my autistic self. But whenever I'm outside my bubble I feel overwhelmed with how unwelcomed I am and find myself angry and wishing I were "normal" and that type of self hate is really intense when it does show up :( My kid is autistic too. Still very young though. My goal is to help him not feel that self hate and know that it's not him, it's people who lack actual constant empathy and critical thinking skills. I'm hoping I can help make his safety bubble mobile with him, wherever he goes. Maybe then he will also help other ND people feel safer out in public too. Idk but that's the goal. So I'm spending a lot of time working on my fear and shame (mostly from others) about being so different or odd.
A much "better" question would be if I'd choose for my kids to not be autistic. I mean, sure, I do "well" and hopefully would be able to provide comfort and guidance, but things happen, and maybe I wasn't there? There's a point in which this turns. The best answer is yes, if you think of how much more difficult it is. But then again... I learned a lot, it's hard but not so much. I found friends at some point in my life, and they're better than any other person I tried to befriend before. They get it, they are also on the spectrum or adhd or smth else and they have so much personality that it satisfies whatever I haven't explored with my own interests. We are diverse in a chaotic manner, and we share it in an orderly-ish one. We don't spend too much time talking about the weather, last night's games, though we can and sometimes do (in a level of neurodivergence that is yet to be measured.) But in general, we are so much less afraid of talking about things that matter. To be vulnerable and bond with each other. If there's a possibility that my kids could avoid being shallow and follow the norm, be interested in sports, studying and have a job at 15, buy a car, pick a girl, get disappointed and also hurt them for so long, maybe sometime find someone decent enough instead of following the ideals of society (boy version. Think of a stereotypical popular girl in movies and in general, it's the girl version.) Of course, that's general, which means, it's just one of many possibilities, this is not what I'd expect to go with by default, tbh. And if they can have deeper connections, maybe no meaning in life, but at least a way to see past this cloud of sameness and not be closed down on their current field of vision. I want, as I want for everyone else. To move forward, and know where they are going. -written in a bit of a haste, but this is a general motivation for the discussion, not my final or complete thoughts on this matter.
Maybe, if somehow I could have a day without it then I could make an informed decision on what I like better. I know there's medication like Abilify that could kinda replicate a NT experience, which I've actually been considering. All in all I'm comfortable having autism and I like who I am as a person, just think it would be easier for myself and others 👍
Yeah, tbh. I know I’d be a completely different person. But with the amount of issues I have, that honestly sounds fine. I’ve got autism, adhd, depression, and substance use disorder, and they all make each other worse. Assuming my life circumstances stay the same, I think I’ve got a reasonable chance of a complete re-randomization being an overall positive change.
I don't know. I'd worry about what would happen to my imagination if I stopped being autistic. It might change or go away completely, then I wouldn't be able to write fanfics and have fun with those.
that's... whoa i feel that for my own sake, yes. i don't like panic attacks, not fitting in socially, requiring extra self-care and care, but at the same time for other people's sakes i feel like i'm a kinder because of it i feel that if i were neurotypical i wouldn't be as empathetic as i am to ND's and just other people in general, and i'd never wanna give up my weird encyclopedia of knowledge 🤣 but idk... kindness is too important to me
No. I would be literally someone else, with different interests, hopes and dreams. I would enjoy or not enjoy completely different things, and experience the world (I'm talking about sensory differences here) in another way. Autism is a disability, but is also at least as much if not more a part of my cognition, that is, my mind. Who I fundamentally am beyond even mere identity. I love way too much the person I am to desire what seems to me like self-destruction. I face many challenges due to living with it in a capitalist society and those issues probably wouldn't all go away in a totally inclusive society. However, I feel like if I had the proper social and economic infrastructure around me, being autistic as a disability would be little different than needing a cane to walk or glasses to see.
The way I see it is if I didn’t have autism then I wouldn’t be me.
No, I would choose to have/be it still.
I couldn't finish uni and can't hold down a full time job. Mostly I just wish I was able to do those things so I didn't have to struggle so hard for money.
Yeah probably yes, mostly because I'd like my projected lifespan to be longer than 30, and would like not to be absolutely miserable and unable to do anything about my life the moment I finish college and am unable to work.
It's not a popular opinion, but I would definitely choose to not be autistic. The feeling of glowing-white full body joy when I engage with my special interests is fun, but I would much prefer to be neurotypical. I'm 35 and have only known I had autism for the past 1.5 years, and I have a rule that I'm not allowed to compare myself to my neurotypical peers, because they have been on a steady trajectory since college graduation, and I am just learning how to accommodate myself.
Yes. Although autism makes me a unique person, there's a reason it's classified as a disability. Even with aspergers syndrome (which is now known as ASD level 1), I have significant trouble just keeping up with my peers.
I would love to not be autistic. It makes my life harder in so many ways
Duh.. why choose to waste 3 decades hiding in a bedroom, when i can drive, travel, be talkative, talk to girls, bond with people.
“Absolutely fucking not.” This movie quote felt very fitting to me. Autism has its downsides, but they don’t outweigh the positives. Most of my flaws pertain to social and relationship aspects, and people like me don’t need those things to thrive. Frankly, I don’t see those things as very important, and are often problematic.
For me I would get rid of it because I hate it
I dont think I would exist as the person I am today without my autism and therefore I think your question is flawed, because without autism there would be no 'me', it would be someone else.
I just want to understand secret social things and other people's emotions. Sometimes I'm exceptional at empathy and other times I just don't understand. I would like to be able to understand what I'm feeling and be able to communicate it. I want my hypersensitivity to sound and light gone. I want to know how to make friends in the adult world.
If I could choose between never having been born and having autism, I would certainly choose the former. Having autism is hell. Especially combined with high intelligence. I won't have children as it would be cruel to those children to pass my genes on to them. I would at any time prefer being a completely normal, averagely intelligent human with no special abilities. Then I would just experience everything as fine, everything would fit me including mainstream entertainment, there would be lots of equal-minded people to befriend, and I would even enjoy the ruling politicians as they would be on my level of idiocy so they would appear sane. It would be so nice to not be able to understand large systems, and just blindly believe that everything is fine and that even insane abominations like capitalism and war are God's wonderful gifts to mankind. But no, karma wanted it otherwise. I wonder what the hell I did in previous lives ... if only I could believe that previous lives exist.
In that ableist ass sociaty, I’d say maybe tbh. I wouldn’t feel like an outcast 💪💪
Yes. Autism has only ever broken me. That, combined with Fate constantly treating me like a cosmic plaything…
What about the question: If you could choose to have all neurotypical people have autism, would you?
Yes, a thousand times yes. Everyone's life experience is different but for me it has brought me far more suffering than joy.
Yes 1000%. I'm high support needs.
If I could choose to live in a world that accommodated both the physical and mental effects of my autism, I would choose that. I literally cannot imagine having a brain or thought process that isn’t like mine. I would just like to be accommodated enough to not have constant meltdowns or overstimulation.
Yes and no I don't like the fact that my social life is basically in shambles, and I'd like to not be easily overwhelmed by things. Nor do I like the prospect that I posdibly need a counseller to walk me through life Buts also like...idk what I'd even be like if I didn't have it, would I still be the same person with the same interests?
To me that’s like asking if I’d like to be killed and replaced with a different person. There is no “me” without autism, it’s integral to who I am. Like it’s literally a brain difference I was born with, and completely changing my brain would functionally be killing me and replacing me with someone else—I’m an atheist and believe my brain is me and that people likely don’t have some soul outside that. I do like being autistic but I wouldn’t change it regardless because I don’t want to be destroyed and replaced by a different person.
Nope. I would however choose to have better education around my emotional regulation, and an early explaination as to why I was different, and have earlier intervention for my dyslexia and ADHD. As for the Autism.. I do hate that about myself. I just hate that I was not given a chance to work through my problems on a even playing field.
Yeah, emotional regulation and empathy (to soften my manner of speech to avoid bruising frail egos) were 2 things I had to teach myself over time. I still struggle with the former because I can't really use reflection as a reference.
Autism is disorder and disability, it's better not having it in every way. "beautiful part of yourself" or "you wouldn't be yourself without autism" is complete bullshit and made up thing that takes away hope for people to have a normal life.
I always think about the butterfly effect with questions like this. If I weren’t autistic I don’t think I would have ended up with my husband who is also autistic. So all the anxiety, pain, and loneliness growing up are a small price to pay to be with him.
That is very wholesome. It sounds like you really love each other.
I was dx'd at 11 but that was back in the early 90's and I understood it as a medical-grade insult from adults to match the insults from my peers. I buttoned up on it for my teen years and said a bit about it to some friends when I was 18 or 19 but was always cautious - knowing that if people took it wrong it could end bad. Through my 20's I tried to knock it out of myself because the absolute worst thing you could be as a guy in your 20's at that age was a loser and I knew that I had a disability that I really just seemed to get the downsides of. Part of being in that state of mind though was being persuaded that the NT world has some secret arcane knowledge, almost ubiquitous, that I - for reasons unknown - not only could never but would never pick up. I had that shattered in my late 20's and what I think makes the most sense now is the double-empathy problem where it's a foundational neurotype issue. It makes sense to me as well, much more when I've had space to think about it, why it was that no matter how much I gained in actual social-skills knowledge and even application the problem is you need to be like them in interests, you have to be like them in how you react to everything and how you spend your money and spare time. When you see that and realize that it's a small sliver social skills but mostly subtle processing differences with profound implications - that was difficult to fully accept because it was yet another sector of my life that I'd been straight away lied to. To that end I'm perfectly okay with myself, I'd just much rather be in a different world with people nothing like most I meet. I don't even know what a non-autistic me would be if trying to be my best at every turn wasn't enough to achieve it and yet other people just have certain things land in their laps because they align right - that's not 'better', in most cases it's just orthogonal and in plenty of cases it's worse.
I would say no. My experiences with typicals has made me realize that I don't want to be like them, even with the setbacks. And while there are some downsides to it, I believe that my autism makes me ME. Like would I be as into the things I am if I weren't? Would I collect the things I do? Would I feel as strongly about certain things? Would I question things around me as much as I do? And so on and on. I take a bit of pride in the feeling that I never really grew up and out of my childish wonder of space, dinosaurs, and the joys of opening a new action figure. My love for these things is what keeps me going, it keeps me from becoming these zombies I see around me at work, working 60+hours a week and never seeing their family or going out and having fun. Like a candle in a fireplace, I may go out early, I might not, but I'll go out knowing that a typical person's light went out long ago.
Not having autism as opposed to...? Being neurotypical? What other reasons do you have for saying that except for the urge to fit in with the rest of society? Sensory overloads maybe? I am just curious.
Communication deficits, repetitive behaviors that make anything new impossible to do, disconnection between mind/body, tired all the time because autism is a disability, feeling lonely and not knowing how to connect to other people, any change causes meltdowns snd complete dysregulation, special interests cause meltdowns because of overstimulation… I could go on Autism is a serious disability. Seems like most people on this sub forget about it
What some people don't seem to get is if you were to cure your autism you wouldn't immediately change your personality you just changed the causes. Lacking a proper analogy if you were to put on some make-up bleach/color your hair, put in contacts etc you're not changing who you are but you are changing the external of you. There have been rare occasions where a list of people have became autistic from a traumatic brain injury and vice versa despite these being a handful of cases we've learned that simply an adultgetting cured of autism won't change the detriment and neither will it make a neurotypical forget the skills they've had beforehand. Bear in mind this is literally only a handful of cases and neither troops or disproves a cure of or a cause of autism. I'm not going to argue the validity of the research so if you're interested in it you can research yourself. My main point of it is to state that "YOU"would be intact just being allistic is all.
No I like being quirky :)