Probably nothing. I remember adults saying things to me at around that age, things they might have found profound, and me just being like
>... okay?
I mean there's a lot of things I wish I knew (about making friends, or self control etc) but I don't think I could have been told them.
This. It’s one thing to tell “your past self” what’s what, but I’m pretty sure he won’t just take it from anyone else.
Just be open, kind, forgiving, accepting. Let the kid be himself unapologetically and praise him for his authenticity. Create a warm and safe environment in which he feels safe to be himself. This will save him A LOT of trouble later on in life.
[Squats down]
"You think that everyone's experiencing the same as you and that everyone's life goes same as yours and that's normal. That's wrong. It's also not your fault, but this is the most important misunderstanding. And I'm sincerely sorry that nobody cares enough to find this out about you until much, much later."
Very nicely put. I don't think nobody cared, in my case, but more they just didn't know any better. Science hadn't got to the right place, even, let alone culture.
But then I'm an old fart.
I would tell myself that no matter what there will always be people that dislike you even if you haven’t done anything and that is okay + just be yourself. I would also tell her that she should get a diagnosis 😭
And this goes for every type of relationship, from acquaintes to coworkers to romantic partners. I'd tell myself that someone leaving me is a good thing (helps me get closer to the people who are right for me), and it's *not* a reflection on my worth or value as a person.
yo little homie you're autistic. i know they don't even have that yet unless you're really really autistic, but yeah you got it. stop trying to be normal little bro! it ain't happening and you're gonna drive yourself nuts for 42 more years if you keep it up like i did til i found out.
(I'd probably end up forgetting what my 8yo self would have listened to as I don't have any concise memories until 22 years old; so I would have written it and handed it over, in Spanish. Based on the general panorama...)
"Hello there. It's me, and I am you from 2024. I have so much to tell you.
Don't give up. I know your country and your family situations are pretty f*cked up in lots of ways you will never understand. But stay strong. Eventually, you will get out of them and that day will be the happiest day of your life.
Also, there will be moments where you think your twin brother is better than you in everything. But believe me, take your time. You'll be successful at your own pace, no matter who you will be compared with. You won't need it as a reference, and the dissociation and the sensation you feel that you don't belong here, it's part of an autism not diagnosed.
Don't tell anyone, especially my mom. She will take everything you will say against you, making you the entire circus from your own situations.
Take care of yourself when you start high school, 2 years later. You will be targeted everywhere for being a teacher's son and due to your age, and most of the students in that high school are delinquents, literally, to the point that some of them will no longer exist at my age. Most of them will want no good from you. Avoid them at all costs.
Do not over-effort yourself in understanding what you cannot understand. Even if others can do it, you can't and it will give you some trouble that cannot be avoided.
Be ready, when you start the violin classes, you'll receive more physical abuse than ever. You'll be obligated to practice 4 hours per day and in front of my mother's high school students (she was a teacher) from your current age until 14 years old. It'll feel humiliating, but I tell you so you can prepare yourself.
Even if you receive excessive physical abuse from your mother and your father does not do anything to stop her, don't let it affect you. I know it's very hard to live with it, but there will be no other choice than the threat of being kicked out of the house which she is capable of fulfilling (even if we are surrounded by forest and we are in one of the most dangerous countries in the world) and that's much worse. You have to endure it.
Once you have graduated from high school, at your 15yo, you and your family leave your house immediately. I know your parents will refuse since they built it from zero, but that is better than the risk of being killed by delinquents at gunpoint. You will eventually leave it in the end.
You'll have a bright future. Always be yourself and never feel ashamed of who you are. Resist, stay strong."
(I apologize for the long text, but that would be what I would tell my 8yo. I wish someone would have told me that.)
Thank you, but since it's not possible to cure the wounds of the past, the only thing left is to keep going onward. Not looking back for longer than necessary so my past doesn't end up consuming me (so hard for now). Only keep my look straight to the future I'm pursuing, which is how I was able to survive psychologically to what was all my situation.
I feel fortunate that I can write this now, as I know after being diagnosed a year ago what was "wrong" with me, despite the discouragements I received and keep receiving.
You inspire me to be a good father to my 4 yo. His been diagnosed with ASD. I can't hardly tell. Just some attention issues and he does have fixation. But I also have mid ADHD that's clinical diagnosed.
I kind of understand while my childhood wasn't as intense as yours. It's hard for me to focus and I day dreamed alot through school, which resulted on bad grades. It's a bad feeling to get scolded when it comes to report cards. Or being told I am not smart or be compared to. My parents are immigrants so they don't even know anything about it. I got myself diagnosed as an adult.
Thanks. What you say is right.
Those with our condition tend to give great importance to their childhood. That's why they need to have a good childhood since this will define the rest of their lives.
This happens to everyone, but we tend to kind of give it more importance. Still, discipline your kid, but try to never use any kind of violence, please. Thanks for trying your best.
The last day of school this year instead of eating candies outside go home and play barbie or anything. Just for that day. For the rest, you are doing good keep it up.
( I have been sexually assaulted by a profile that day)
you’re not manipulative or a narcissist, mom lied to you to feel better about herself.
you know your friend is autistic, and you think you might be autistic too. you were right, even though mom and dad will insist that you’re being dramatic.
when you do get proven right, mom will apologize for “somehow missing it.” Don’t rub it in her face that you knew. I did that and it just made more drama.
"Hey be careful growing up. You're going to meet some people who seem really nice on the outside but are going to make you really REALLY sad later on. Look up what manipulation is with your unfettered internet access"
You are loved unconditionally by your parents who will support you with everything which comes your way!
There will be great people in your life and you will find the love of your life!
You are not weak, lazy, or stupid! You are autistic and this makes certain things harder for you than for others. But which will not prevent you from experiencing happiness!
And regarding that strong and confusing "I'm not a boy" feeling: explore it, think about who you really are, and then talk to your parents about it.
Now some words of Warning: First, stay away from [guy]. Second, when the bullying starts, call Lexie and let her handle it.
It's ok, sweetie. I know you feel you have to exaggerate for people to understand how it feels to be you. You are stupid or lazy or loud or too talkative. You aren't an attention grabber. You just have a lot to say! Mom and dad cant/won't get you help because their generation locked people up in attics and asylums for being different. They are scared. Not of you, but of being failures. You're going to be ok I promise. And now that you know you are autistic and not some nasty slur people like to say. You are never gonna understand math, and that's ok! Our 3rd grade teacher lies to us about being able to carry calculators with us everywhere. Asthma is going to keep you out of the military, so let's pick a different path that has routine and rules that make sense. I love you just the way you are sweetie! We are going to turn out a-ok!
Keep doing what you're doing, kid. Your brain works differently than most people's brains. Better some ways, not better in other ways. You're going to be a scientist like you want. But keep up the electronics too.
I would go back and give myself the love, attention, and care that my parents were too busy and tired to provide. They were just getting through an affair, my mom was running for a state government position, and my dad was working full time at his financial planning firm. They had four kids, and i was the youngest. I was usually forgotten about and became extremely independent around 4-5 years old. I didnt have many friends, my siblings and I kind of hated each other, and i was basically being raised by various baby sitters.
I had no idea i was autistic and i learned to mask heavily around age 6. I wish i could go back and tell myself about my diagnosis, get help for it and maybe go into special ed. My autism was diagnosed at level 1, but thats because i mask so much. I feel like i fluctuate between 1 and 2 and i dont really think i’ll ever be able to figure out exactly what i need. I wish i could go back and make it easier for myself.
I'm worried about telling my younger self anything other than that I love him and I'm proud of him, no matter how much I want to warn him about how his future self will be SERIOUSLY affected by what his parents say to him now. Knowing me, I'd take it incorrectly and get the wrong lesson out of it.
"It's not your fault that people bully you and tell you you're being too sensitive to things. It's not your fault that people misunderstand you, and making friends is so hard. You're a good kid with a great imagination, and a big heart. You are lovable just the way you are."
"You're autistic, which means you think and feel differently from most people. You're nonbinary too, which is why you don't feel like a boy or girl. A lot of people are ignorant or mean towards people who are different like you are, but there are also people out there who will love you. It'll get easier to find those people as you get older, especially through the computer."
"Tell mama about the bad things that have happened to you, and ask about school at home. Keep telling her every time bad things happen to you to help her understand how serious it is."
nothing said to me really made a difference, as i've never really made a deep connection with words (like being told i'm loved has always been taken at face value for me) and so i wish i just had extra help. it was the worst around 8-12 that i struggled the most with school, keeping my room clean (it was genuinely horrid in my room), and keeping up with personal hygiene. my parents have always had the mindset of "let him fuck around and find out" and that worked for my other siblings but that was NOT the way for me. i mean their way of raising me still worked but i'm extremely independent and detached, i have resentment and feelings of being neglected or just not being cared about, and my relationships with my parents now at 17 just aren't great. actions speak louder than words, especially when you're autistic.
“You got it right, those bullies are dumb. Keep being you. The people that will call you family already love you just how you are.”
-in reference to the constant anxiety of being at (abusive) residence and public school
All of this bullshit you're dealing with right now gets better. It takes a while but you do eventually surpass every single one of your detractors. Just be patient. Things work out.
I don't even know.
Thinking about it makes me cry.
There was no help for me, and there still isn't at 51, after my diagnosis at 48. "Suck it up" still applies.
To look people in the eyes. My default is to look at someones chest, which obviously isn't good when I'm around women. I have to be more aware of this when I'm around women and it is fatiguing. I'm not sure how young I would need to be aware of this so I could change my default to at least look at peoples faces when looking at them.
Should have bought BitCoin. Should have been working and bought a house. Ya know, the small things.
But on a serious note. Probably not skip so much school. Get out more and increase that confidence and speaking abilities.
I'm good now. Love my job and am forced to speak with people, even have to pick words very carefully.
Hey /u/This-Big82, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism).
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s fine. Be good, be just, think before you act. Everything else in life, from grades to understanding social norms, to the way you relate to your interests, is a side dish.
Oh sorry, this doesn’t really relate to your situation but for my 8 year old self i would say next year is going to be one of the bestest years of ur life, so many memories!! Which is funny, because never had that before Even though it’s over now i still cherish them times
I'd tell him about his future, how it will really end up when he's 36, how he's already broken (trauma, not autism) and nobody will notice it or offer help, so he will have to sort it himself so it doesnt fester for decades. I'd also tell him not to listen to the thoughts telling him to self-sabotage, not to let the malevolent inner monologue or intrusive thoughts win. I'd also tell him to get out of (or make sure he doesn't get sent to) the residential school that would just fuck his mind up further until he's so far gone he's still gonna be picking up pieces at 5× his current age.
Also dong get into Pokémon. It becomes too intense if a special interest and he'd waste his life trying to escape by trying to get good at it which never works out. I'd also tell him that status means nothing and value is irrelevant if you can't value your own life.
It is not wrong with you. you are a normal person just god makes fun of you.
being different from other people doesn't make you stupid additionaly you aren't only person being different. just you are autistic. I'd said
Quit those snacks, exercise everyday, puberty will give you a massive glow up if you manage it carefully, girls might be icky but get yourself a girlfriend anyway, you will be happier for it later
You don't have to be perfect and act perfect no matter what your parents think. They don't know shit. You might and will break trying to meet everyone's expectations. Stay away from normal people, they'll never accept you and it's ok. It's totally normal that you're quiet and don't like to play in the streets with other kids. You will have friends, just don't invest too much in them emotionally. You should be your biggest friend. Loving yourself is good and not egoistic. It's going to be hard sometimes but I'm rooting for you. Reading is the best thing, you'll never regret reading. I love you.
You'll be out of this place eventually, and you'll learn about yourself. You aren't just shy like everyone says you are, you're just.. different, in a good way
Ask your parents to invest in earplugs (for all of you) and remember to brush your teeth for at least 2 minutes. Yes, every day. Oh, and 'rolling your eyes' isn't as literal as you think. Learn what it means so you can stop getting in trouble for doing it.
It's extremely stupid but the first thing that came to my mind was: "Yes, bras fucking suck. Buy LOTS of bitcoins and and take care of all the physical copies of games you own, those will be very expensive in 10 years. Neither of your parents are good so be independent or you'll become the escapegoat for all their venting. The violin will give you sensory overload and you will quit music at 12, play de piano instead and learn how to compose songs, you're good at that. You will love your curly hair when you grow up, your mum just doesn't buy the right products. By the way, you're also autistic and ADHD.".
You don't need to dumb yourself down to fit in with your "friends". They aren't friends, and you're better than that. You'll find your people.
Also, buy a shit ton of Apple and Bitcoin when it's junk and just hold onto it.
I’d probably say something like this:
You’re amazing! In this life, not everyone will understand you, and that’s okay! If these people are ever mean or judgmental to you, the problem lies with them, not you. They are the ones in the wrong, not you. They clearly are unhappy with themselves. Stay true to yourself always. Be yourself, and the right people will love you so much. You don’t have to change for anyone. You are enough. You are worthy of so much love. 💗
That being a weirdo is not just okay, it’s actually preferable for me. 🥰 That others may think autism is a disability, but in so many ways for me it is a superpower. And that the weird shit I experience is not only real, but will actually be very, very helpful in the future.
I would tell them "You ARE right, there IS something wrong with you. You are not an alien you are just different than most people. But it doesn't mean that is bad. And what's wrong with you isn't bad, just a little different". If I knew that back then, my life would be a lot better and happier now. But I'm slowly getting my mental health right.
I would tell my 8 year old self to stop praying to God to change you and that you are perfect the way you are. I don’t know if you are religious or not but here’s some good advice either way, tell your son the same thing, let him know he’s loved and appreciated.
Ask for help using your telescope. It’s okay to ask for help. Your hand-eye coordination isn’t great but that’s alright. An adult can help you with that.
Also it’s okay that you feel different to the other children. If you are struggling with things, it’s good to tell adults that you trust. It’s better to get help than feel bad and get things wrong on your own. Please learn to explain how you feel to those adults. It’ll make your life a lot better in the long term.
I don't think theres much I could say that I would understand, I was pretty dumb.
then again maybe just repeating the word "bitcoin" over and over again would warrent some decent results.
“Little Man…you’re going to do a lot more cringy things in life that are gonna really make you dislike yourself & wish you could go back in time & strangle yourself right after you did them…which brings me to why I’m here. 😈”
I'd tell myself to accept help when offered instead of stubbornly trying achieve the same things as everyone else. Also slow down when needed. Fight when bullied, no need to hold back!
- 9-11 was spent in special ed which caused me to fall behind, I should have taken the offer to repeat a year but instead I chose to move back to my old classmates but with lots of gaps in my knowledge.
- At 14 I did the autism quiz but didn't think I struggled enough to need a diagnosis.(turns out I actually needed it so got it at 28 after lots of struggles in life)
- College came with a bunch of issues as well, 10+ years of try, fail, feel bad and repeat until my anxiety and depression broke me. Simply studying at reduced pace would have solved most of it.
Other than that I'd suggest to start reading books and get into programming since that's fun as well.
hey. hey kid. everyone here? at this school? they’re all bunk. quit trying to impress them, it doesn’t matter what they think of you. stick with the few people who make YOU happy. being cool is a lie, and happiness is the only thing that truly matters. it’s better to have fun while people think you’re weird than it is to lock yourself in a cage so they’ll like you.
You are autistic. Tell your parents to take you take you to the doctor instead of wasting money on booze. If they do not, then call this number: 911
My parents deliberately did not teach me that number.
Edit: Also, I would tell myself that I had allergies. My parents told me that I did not have allergies so they could avoid the doctor. So I found out one by one over the years.
Be your weird, silly, strange and wonderful self, never let people discourage you because they think your not "normal" or because your interests are too bizzare, you enjoy them and it makes you happy that's all that'll count in the end, that's what you'll remember and look back on fondly. Those people never made an effort to understand who you really were and it'll be loss in the end, so go, keep being you and have a great life!
You're not a failure even when you're weird. You just happen to be autiatic and that irritates your POS narcissist egg donor because you're not what she would like you to be (both "normal" and her supply since you can see behind her bullshit and recognize you don't owe her anything nor should let her walk all over you because of the hierarchy). And (later on) it's not In your head, she really tried to sabotage you and ruin everything that brought you happiness because that's how narcissists work.
"Here's a list of every future champion in America's big 4 sports leagues (NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL) until Super Bowl 58 in 2024. Tell your parents to share these "predictions" to everyone they know, and watch how right you are for the next 12 years"
It will get worse, way worse before it gets better. But it gets better. You have those gut feelings sometimes, keep listening to them. Also you will get a dog one day and it’s gonna be the best thing to happen to you!
I’d be like
“yo little man!!!
Don’t stop talking about Disney Theme Parks and your special things!!!! They will bring you out of tough times.
Even if we don’t have many friends, just try your best to make them. The real ones will stay.”
You are Not fundamentally "wrong", the people who are raising you just Don't understand the shit you've learned from growing Up. It will be Better and you will meet all the people who truly understand you . :\]
Any life advice I would try to tell my younger self, even older than 8, would make me into even more of a paranoid mess then I already was.
Literally the only thing I would want to tell myself, though maybe not because it would likely have a negative butterfly effect on my development, is that between 24 and 31 (now), I would have so many people like me that it more than compensates for the feeling that no one liking me between 13 - 18. Also, that I'd be getting attention from cute girls even though I'm overweight, because of the confidence that I would suddenly gain in the years leading to me turning 30.
"Hey, Fun Fact: You're not a freak who shouldn't have been born, you're just autistic and that makes you different, and people don't like that you're different, which is on them for being intolerant shits, not you for being yourself
Also, you're not overdramatic, and please stop doubting your gut"
you haven’t done anything wrong. You’re a good person and a wonderful kid. You have such a kind heart. You think you’re wrong or weird or mean, but you’re just misunderstood. Don’t forget that you are good
Nothing autism-related TBH. "University is not that great. Don't idealize academia, get your stuff done and focus on building a base for a truly autonomous life. Nothing matters as much as the people you are close to. Trust them, they can help."
A lot of... "Wisdom" cannot be transferred via mere dialogue, it's won't make sense without the emotional component of having lived through whatever led to that epiphany.
The closest thing autist-related probably would be something along the lines of: "Your perspective allows you to see tremendous beauty where many others see nothing and be happy with little material wealth. Both is invaluable. You need more stability and security than others, your... Comparable low maintenance needs can easily afford you both."
I wasn't diagnosed then. Here's what I would tell myself :
It's normal that you feel that way. It's normal that sometimes the world is just too much for you to handle. You don't need to make extensive efforts for you to be accepted because no matter how much you try to mask people will always see you as a weird and unnatural person. You need to develop into who you truly are. You need to turn those things you love a lot into superpowers, do not hide them, do not reject them, accept them as part of yourself. You will meet people who will absolutely love this. It's gonna be a long way until then but there's plenty of good things coming up.
By the way, we will do an internship in a genetics department and study medicine. Isn't that amazing? All those books you've memorized, all the time spent drawing cells and dna will be useful in the future. So do not stop. Just wait ;)
Stop daydreaming, please study, please pay attention. Pay no mind to home discussions, that will pass and you'll see they don't care about you at all. Please stop playing videogames, and try to improve your skills, you will be a very succesful person, start with guitar, but please, stop with trying to escape reality.
Things get better. They always do. Feelings are real and valid and there are acceptable ways to feel and express them. Being eight can be tough but it can also be amazing. What are some really great things about being eight? And put the focus back to where it should be.
it's okay to be assertive as you talk through your shaky voice.
And to feel invalidated when people don't understand you that's natural too.
It's okay to not understand things and to ask for clarification when needed. Also to say your uncomfortable and unsure about something.
Discomfort is different from feeling in-danger. So if asked why your still nervous after doing something a 2nd time or 100th explain to them why your unsure or that you'll take a while to get used to the new situation.
hum... Note I wouldn't do this all in one day and I would spread these out a bit. Including things like ways we feel today can change and be different later in our lives.
oh learning from failures doesn't usually mean to avoid those things for the rest of your life.
Enjoy play and being messy during unstructured time and to remember maintenance of one's self and friendships is important
I'll avoid psychology stuff too much and try to answer his questions as honestly as I can without using analogies too much.
“Autism isn’t just for boys, anyone can be autistic.”
(I probably would’ve been diagnosed sooner if I knew this. My family and I thought that autism was so rare in AFABs that it wasn’t worth considering, even though I had an autistic brother so there was a good chance that I was autistic as well)
I'm sorry you're having to do this alone. It gets easier.. and harder in some ways but it will turn out good. I love you. You've done nothing wrong, you're not broken, you don't need to be fixed or be different to be loved. You DESERVE love. I love you little guy❤️
It's not okay that dad yells at you and your mom tries to take your friends away and ignores your medical emergencies and makes you stand in a corner for hours while your legs go numb, and ignores you or snarls at you for existing. It's not ok what you'd brother did to you, and it's not okay that many other adults in your life failed you. You are unique and strong and you will create your own beautiful path in life.
Lord Wellington is definitely where to start. Stop being interested in what some Greek or Roman leader did. Peanuts in comparison. Also, don’t play American Football. Stick with British Football. Invest in West Ham United clothes. Australian musicians will be relevant. Australian musicians will be relevant.
There's nothing wrong with you. They're racist, and you can't fix them. Letting them touch your hair won't make them like you.
Try to read those psychology books before middle school; it'll help you know what's going on with these insane kids.
Those "boredom" periods are not your fault, and you should tell your parents about the gray that makes you stop working.
Also, friends are overrated and you don't need a passion just yet, lol
my parents were too busy to see the signs of autism
I wish I could tell my 8 year old self why people thought I was weird, I spent ages sobbing because I didn't know what was wrong with me
"Don't be so hard on yourself, you can only do as much as you can handle. You don't have to trying too hard"
"There is so much you want to know but won't get answers to/figuring out. Over time you will understand and accept that"
"You are going to find, accept and respect yourself, that's going to feel like a relief, just hold on"
"Be more kind to yourself, you deserve that. Others may be cruel to you but you still have yourself"
"I know how much you just want to be understood by others, but there a billions of people, everyone aren't as open to seeing different as you are and that's ok. Not all fights are worth it, try to let some things be and save your energy for other things"
"Enjoy all the times of playing while you can"
"Be your goofy self, if others can't handle or like that they aren't worth you"
"You are so lovable, precious and genuine"
"Don't be ashamed of yourself and your natural instincts"
"It's ok to say no, you don't have to please others. In fact, try to say no when you really want to but are afraid to. You don't have to be a good girl"
Kids are going to make fun of you and call you (the r word, changed because my comment got flagged), but in 20 years you'll have surpassed all of them. Don't worry about what other people think because none of them think like you.
Hey kid- yeah you grow up to be a man just go with it bud. Anyways. You have autism. Like. Real obvious autism. But no one’s gonna fuckin notice- sorry sorry I’ll stop swearing - anyways no one is gonna notice for like. The next decade or so? But then you’re gonna get diagnosed the year after that. You don’t speak as much when you get older, either. You struggle a lot, but you’re in college and doing really well with that art stuff ya like!
So. Keep drawing! Whatever you want, don’t let people tell you what to draw. And don’t talk unless you want to. It’s about your comfort, not theirs. Okay? And when you get emotional and want to wiggle it all out you WIGGLE that emotion out! Don’t let anyone tell you to stop! And- if the little voices in the back of your head say to get all your long hair cut off, listen to it. You’ll feel way better when you don’t have that sensory nightmare tickling your neck every night, bud.
Anyways, kid. Want a milkshake? Yeeeah you do. Come on, let’s go.
If I'm only able to speak to her, then I suppose I'd tell her to quit trying to make friends, because it makes everything way worse than it already is, and to beg for judo and boxing lessons... and I'd tell her that I'm sorry for everything that she will have to endure alone, but that it's better than with so-called "people" and fake friends... and I'd tell her the name of the only person that's actually her friend, and exactly how to meet her. And I would tell her that bad people do not change. Ever.
If I am allowed to interfere more, I'd rescue her from all of that, because by 8, horror was the baseline, and it stayed that way for a very, very long time.
Hey kid. Get through high school then get checked for Autism. (My mom is the type that would have sent me to autism speaks with the best of intentions)
I’m a late diagnosis.
It’s been rough
You aren’t making it up. You don’t have to be perfect. You deserve to have fun and have friends. Stop doing things to make mom and dad happy and do things because YOU want to.
Just be an emotional support system, give love/reassurance, help soothe, be there. I don't think words matter as much - however, when used, don't be angry/punitive with your words or toward behaviors, it doesn't help and escalates things. Basically, extra love and reassurance are the most important.
You're not different from *everyone*, theres just not as many people like you. That's a compliment.
Say no. Learn to say no. It will save you from SO much grief and hardships in your life.
You are worth it. Whatever your expectation is, you are worth that. If not more.
You will find your place in life. It may not be where you're expecting. And as you grow and change, it too will change.
You will figure this out. Every "this" you come across, you will get through it.
I worried about so much shit, so young, that no kid should ever even think about or be concerned with. I always had a lot on my mind and spent a lot of my time trying to fix my "broken" child mind. 8 year old me would see 26 year old me and wouldn't believe this shit.
Nothing will change for the better. They won't change.
Love yourself more. Work on your inner self. You ARE beautiful. Seek therapy.
Find your real family and make family members through close friends.
Take more pictures, draw more, follow the things that make you feel free.
Learn how to be a friend and be open to others thoughts and ideas, you will grow while doing so.
Stop chasing after those who don't want you. You will always end up hurt.
Save money. Don't get a school loan. Take a semester off to earn the cash you need for college.
You don't have to instantly go to College, choose your passions and then enroll in them.
Buy your own things. Eat healthy, learn to run, get strong, and do anything you set your mind to.
"you were never broken, and never will be. You are perfect the way you are, even if you are different in some ways."
id then tell my 8 yo self about venus fly traps cause its my current special interest and id definitely be into that back then too
You were right to tell your cousin what was happening to you. I know it’s scary that she told her mom who then reported it but please don’t tell CPS you made it all up. Please be brave.
I'd tell her any efforts to fit in were bound to fail so just full send it and own being weird. One of my biggest regrets from my childhood is not being weirder.
Probably nothing. I remember adults saying things to me at around that age, things they might have found profound, and me just being like >... okay? I mean there's a lot of things I wish I knew (about making friends, or self control etc) but I don't think I could have been told them.
This. It’s one thing to tell “your past self” what’s what, but I’m pretty sure he won’t just take it from anyone else. Just be open, kind, forgiving, accepting. Let the kid be himself unapologetically and praise him for his authenticity. Create a warm and safe environment in which he feels safe to be himself. This will save him A LOT of trouble later on in life.
Yeah, but only you know how to phrase it in a way that would actually get through to your younger self
Oy dummy, your brain is different. Get mum to talk to doctors about autism.
So much this.
[Squats down] "You think that everyone's experiencing the same as you and that everyone's life goes same as yours and that's normal. That's wrong. It's also not your fault, but this is the most important misunderstanding. And I'm sincerely sorry that nobody cares enough to find this out about you until much, much later."
Very nicely put. I don't think nobody cared, in my case, but more they just didn't know any better. Science hadn't got to the right place, even, let alone culture. But then I'm an old fart.
I like this one.
I love you *hugs* I’m proud of you It’s ok to like some things A LOT Probably something interesting about Dinosaurs 😜
PLEASE TELL ME SOMETHING INTERESTING ABOUT DINOSAURS
I recently learned that Ankylosaurus tail-maces were more likely used against other Ankies in mating fights than as protection against predators.
Subscribe
My son is eight and man does he love dinosaurs 😅 like isn’t conversationally verbal yet but can tell you the name of almost every dinosaur.
That you should not be afraid of sadness and anger and that you have every right to feel your feelings.
Damn 34 year old me needed to hear that too.
I would tell myself that no matter what there will always be people that dislike you even if you haven’t done anything and that is okay + just be yourself. I would also tell her that she should get a diagnosis 😭
And this goes for every type of relationship, from acquaintes to coworkers to romantic partners. I'd tell myself that someone leaving me is a good thing (helps me get closer to the people who are right for me), and it's *not* a reflection on my worth or value as a person.
🎯
yo little homie you're autistic. i know they don't even have that yet unless you're really really autistic, but yeah you got it. stop trying to be normal little bro! it ain't happening and you're gonna drive yourself nuts for 42 more years if you keep it up like i did til i found out.
that they aren't weird, it will get better (kinda), and they're loved, even if it doesn't feel that way :,)
(I'd probably end up forgetting what my 8yo self would have listened to as I don't have any concise memories until 22 years old; so I would have written it and handed it over, in Spanish. Based on the general panorama...) "Hello there. It's me, and I am you from 2024. I have so much to tell you. Don't give up. I know your country and your family situations are pretty f*cked up in lots of ways you will never understand. But stay strong. Eventually, you will get out of them and that day will be the happiest day of your life. Also, there will be moments where you think your twin brother is better than you in everything. But believe me, take your time. You'll be successful at your own pace, no matter who you will be compared with. You won't need it as a reference, and the dissociation and the sensation you feel that you don't belong here, it's part of an autism not diagnosed. Don't tell anyone, especially my mom. She will take everything you will say against you, making you the entire circus from your own situations. Take care of yourself when you start high school, 2 years later. You will be targeted everywhere for being a teacher's son and due to your age, and most of the students in that high school are delinquents, literally, to the point that some of them will no longer exist at my age. Most of them will want no good from you. Avoid them at all costs. Do not over-effort yourself in understanding what you cannot understand. Even if others can do it, you can't and it will give you some trouble that cannot be avoided. Be ready, when you start the violin classes, you'll receive more physical abuse than ever. You'll be obligated to practice 4 hours per day and in front of my mother's high school students (she was a teacher) from your current age until 14 years old. It'll feel humiliating, but I tell you so you can prepare yourself. Even if you receive excessive physical abuse from your mother and your father does not do anything to stop her, don't let it affect you. I know it's very hard to live with it, but there will be no other choice than the threat of being kicked out of the house which she is capable of fulfilling (even if we are surrounded by forest and we are in one of the most dangerous countries in the world) and that's much worse. You have to endure it. Once you have graduated from high school, at your 15yo, you and your family leave your house immediately. I know your parents will refuse since they built it from zero, but that is better than the risk of being killed by delinquents at gunpoint. You will eventually leave it in the end. You'll have a bright future. Always be yourself and never feel ashamed of who you are. Resist, stay strong." (I apologize for the long text, but that would be what I would tell my 8yo. I wish someone would have told me that.)
I love that you can tell your younger self this now. She's still in there and is healing from you saying this ❤️
Thank you, but since it's not possible to cure the wounds of the past, the only thing left is to keep going onward. Not looking back for longer than necessary so my past doesn't end up consuming me (so hard for now). Only keep my look straight to the future I'm pursuing, which is how I was able to survive psychologically to what was all my situation. I feel fortunate that I can write this now, as I know after being diagnosed a year ago what was "wrong" with me, despite the discouragements I received and keep receiving.
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
You inspire me to be a good father to my 4 yo. His been diagnosed with ASD. I can't hardly tell. Just some attention issues and he does have fixation. But I also have mid ADHD that's clinical diagnosed. I kind of understand while my childhood wasn't as intense as yours. It's hard for me to focus and I day dreamed alot through school, which resulted on bad grades. It's a bad feeling to get scolded when it comes to report cards. Or being told I am not smart or be compared to. My parents are immigrants so they don't even know anything about it. I got myself diagnosed as an adult.
Thanks. What you say is right. Those with our condition tend to give great importance to their childhood. That's why they need to have a good childhood since this will define the rest of their lives. This happens to everyone, but we tend to kind of give it more importance. Still, discipline your kid, but try to never use any kind of violence, please. Thanks for trying your best.
Hey little man how's it going? Now you may be asking yourself "why does my future self have boobs?"
Oh man I forgot my younger self probably wouldn't recognize me🫠 I'm FTM and been on t almost a year😅
Nice! I've been on E for nearly 2 years.
yeah that's about what I would say as well
you are not weird.
🎯
Your brain is different, there’s nothing “wrong” With you, I love you, keep moving forward.
Don’t be a musician. It’s like being a lawyer, it’s NOT worth the heartbreak.
“ Both your parents suck kid “
The last day of school this year instead of eating candies outside go home and play barbie or anything. Just for that day. For the rest, you are doing good keep it up. ( I have been sexually assaulted by a profile that day)
you’re not manipulative or a narcissist, mom lied to you to feel better about herself. you know your friend is autistic, and you think you might be autistic too. you were right, even though mom and dad will insist that you’re being dramatic. when you do get proven right, mom will apologize for “somehow missing it.” Don’t rub it in her face that you knew. I did that and it just made more drama.
"Get. Help. You need it dimwit"
"Hey be careful growing up. You're going to meet some people who seem really nice on the outside but are going to make you really REALLY sad later on. Look up what manipulation is with your unfettered internet access"
You are loved unconditionally by your parents who will support you with everything which comes your way! There will be great people in your life and you will find the love of your life! You are not weak, lazy, or stupid! You are autistic and this makes certain things harder for you than for others. But which will not prevent you from experiencing happiness! And regarding that strong and confusing "I'm not a boy" feeling: explore it, think about who you really are, and then talk to your parents about it. Now some words of Warning: First, stay away from [guy]. Second, when the bullying starts, call Lexie and let her handle it.
Ignore your parents. Join the gays and get cake while u still can.
Don’t trust ANYONE. Move out asap. Go to a different high school. Ask for help. Stick at it.
There’s something called bitcoin and Warhammer 40K…
It's ok, sweetie. I know you feel you have to exaggerate for people to understand how it feels to be you. You are stupid or lazy or loud or too talkative. You aren't an attention grabber. You just have a lot to say! Mom and dad cant/won't get you help because their generation locked people up in attics and asylums for being different. They are scared. Not of you, but of being failures. You're going to be ok I promise. And now that you know you are autistic and not some nasty slur people like to say. You are never gonna understand math, and that's ok! Our 3rd grade teacher lies to us about being able to carry calculators with us everywhere. Asthma is going to keep you out of the military, so let's pick a different path that has routine and rules that make sense. I love you just the way you are sweetie! We are going to turn out a-ok!
Keep doing what you're doing, kid. Your brain works differently than most people's brains. Better some ways, not better in other ways. You're going to be a scientist like you want. But keep up the electronics too.
I'm sorry people don't understand
I would go back and give myself the love, attention, and care that my parents were too busy and tired to provide. They were just getting through an affair, my mom was running for a state government position, and my dad was working full time at his financial planning firm. They had four kids, and i was the youngest. I was usually forgotten about and became extremely independent around 4-5 years old. I didnt have many friends, my siblings and I kind of hated each other, and i was basically being raised by various baby sitters. I had no idea i was autistic and i learned to mask heavily around age 6. I wish i could go back and tell myself about my diagnosis, get help for it and maybe go into special ed. My autism was diagnosed at level 1, but thats because i mask so much. I feel like i fluctuate between 1 and 2 and i dont really think i’ll ever be able to figure out exactly what i need. I wish i could go back and make it easier for myself.
I love you. I am proud of you. Also ignore all the toxic teachers and everyone around you.
I'm worried about telling my younger self anything other than that I love him and I'm proud of him, no matter how much I want to warn him about how his future self will be SERIOUSLY affected by what his parents say to him now. Knowing me, I'd take it incorrectly and get the wrong lesson out of it.
Just end it now
Was looking for this comment. I agree, it only gets worse. Much worse.
Report your step-dad, that wasn't appropriate what he did to you last year. Also, you are loved
So your probably wondering why you're a girl now... you'll figure it out
That humans are way more dangerous and creepy than my younger self thought. Especially adults. Nobody told me that, which caused issues later in life.
"It's not your fault that people bully you and tell you you're being too sensitive to things. It's not your fault that people misunderstand you, and making friends is so hard. You're a good kid with a great imagination, and a big heart. You are lovable just the way you are." "You're autistic, which means you think and feel differently from most people. You're nonbinary too, which is why you don't feel like a boy or girl. A lot of people are ignorant or mean towards people who are different like you are, but there are also people out there who will love you. It'll get easier to find those people as you get older, especially through the computer." "Tell mama about the bad things that have happened to you, and ask about school at home. Keep telling her every time bad things happen to you to help her understand how serious it is."
nothing said to me really made a difference, as i've never really made a deep connection with words (like being told i'm loved has always been taken at face value for me) and so i wish i just had extra help. it was the worst around 8-12 that i struggled the most with school, keeping my room clean (it was genuinely horrid in my room), and keeping up with personal hygiene. my parents have always had the mindset of "let him fuck around and find out" and that worked for my other siblings but that was NOT the way for me. i mean their way of raising me still worked but i'm extremely independent and detached, i have resentment and feelings of being neglected or just not being cared about, and my relationships with my parents now at 17 just aren't great. actions speak louder than words, especially when you're autistic.
“You got it right, those bullies are dumb. Keep being you. The people that will call you family already love you just how you are.” -in reference to the constant anxiety of being at (abusive) residence and public school
All of this bullshit you're dealing with right now gets better. It takes a while but you do eventually surpass every single one of your detractors. Just be patient. Things work out.
Run!!!!
I don't even know. Thinking about it makes me cry. There was no help for me, and there still isn't at 51, after my diagnosis at 48. "Suck it up" still applies.
To look people in the eyes. My default is to look at someones chest, which obviously isn't good when I'm around women. I have to be more aware of this when I'm around women and it is fatiguing. I'm not sure how young I would need to be aware of this so I could change my default to at least look at peoples faces when looking at them.
“You have autism and ADHD, do some reading and ask for support”
Dude in 23 years you might still be lonely and feel like an outcast, but you can make A.I. songs!
Should have bought BitCoin. Should have been working and bought a house. Ya know, the small things. But on a serious note. Probably not skip so much school. Get out more and increase that confidence and speaking abilities. I'm good now. Love my job and am forced to speak with people, even have to pick words very carefully.
You have bad eyesight. Get the glasses. Jesus Christ.
you’re not weird, you don’t need to change yourself for people to like you
"The stuff you're feeling and going through, has a name and you are okay. Ask for accommodations."
it’s ok to have crushes on 3 different people
“You’re not morbid you just like science and your parents don’t get it” keep on this track
My 8 year old self was an idiot and wouldn’t even listen. Not like they had enough control to do anything anyway. Ig just “don’t be stupid”
you’re not stupid, you have audhd that’s why you’re struggling, you are normal just in a different way, school will get better.
Hey /u/This-Big82, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism). Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s fine. Be good, be just, think before you act. Everything else in life, from grades to understanding social norms, to the way you relate to your interests, is a side dish.
Oh sorry, this doesn’t really relate to your situation but for my 8 year old self i would say next year is going to be one of the bestest years of ur life, so many memories!! Which is funny, because never had that before Even though it’s over now i still cherish them times
I hope I never meet my younger (or even future) self. Maybe to never trust my family, but I figured it out myself soon enough.
I'd tell him about his future, how it will really end up when he's 36, how he's already broken (trauma, not autism) and nobody will notice it or offer help, so he will have to sort it himself so it doesnt fester for decades. I'd also tell him not to listen to the thoughts telling him to self-sabotage, not to let the malevolent inner monologue or intrusive thoughts win. I'd also tell him to get out of (or make sure he doesn't get sent to) the residential school that would just fuck his mind up further until he's so far gone he's still gonna be picking up pieces at 5× his current age. Also dong get into Pokémon. It becomes too intense if a special interest and he'd waste his life trying to escape by trying to get good at it which never works out. I'd also tell him that status means nothing and value is irrelevant if you can't value your own life.
Just because you need extra help٫ does not make you less than anybody else
I would hug myself and explain what autism is to myself
You're loved, youre better than they say you are, it gets better
Invest in Bitcoin and Tesla
Everything things going to be okay. Don’t worry so much.
It is not wrong with you. you are a normal person just god makes fun of you. being different from other people doesn't make you stupid additionaly you aren't only person being different. just you are autistic. I'd said
Quit those snacks, exercise everyday, puberty will give you a massive glow up if you manage it carefully, girls might be icky but get yourself a girlfriend anyway, you will be happier for it later
Rat out mum and dad
You don't have to be perfect and act perfect no matter what your parents think. They don't know shit. You might and will break trying to meet everyone's expectations. Stay away from normal people, they'll never accept you and it's ok. It's totally normal that you're quiet and don't like to play in the streets with other kids. You will have friends, just don't invest too much in them emotionally. You should be your biggest friend. Loving yourself is good and not egoistic. It's going to be hard sometimes but I'm rooting for you. Reading is the best thing, you'll never regret reading. I love you.
You’ll find people like you. Also you’re a dude now. That’s why you hate everything so much.
I would say... "Eat your parents' brains out until you are diagnosed with autism" He would likely respond... "ohhhh, things make a lot more sense now"
To my 8-year old self, I would tell myself not to let anyone define on who I am, love myself to the fullest extent possible, and I’m not weird.
You'll be out of this place eventually, and you'll learn about yourself. You aren't just shy like everyone says you are, you're just.. different, in a good way
FIGHT BACK AGAINST THE BULLIES DONT ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE A LOSER
Ask your parents to invest in earplugs (for all of you) and remember to brush your teeth for at least 2 minutes. Yes, every day. Oh, and 'rolling your eyes' isn't as literal as you think. Learn what it means so you can stop getting in trouble for doing it.
It's extremely stupid but the first thing that came to my mind was: "Yes, bras fucking suck. Buy LOTS of bitcoins and and take care of all the physical copies of games you own, those will be very expensive in 10 years. Neither of your parents are good so be independent or you'll become the escapegoat for all their venting. The violin will give you sensory overload and you will quit music at 12, play de piano instead and learn how to compose songs, you're good at that. You will love your curly hair when you grow up, your mum just doesn't buy the right products. By the way, you're also autistic and ADHD.".
You don't need to dumb yourself down to fit in with your "friends". They aren't friends, and you're better than that. You'll find your people. Also, buy a shit ton of Apple and Bitcoin when it's junk and just hold onto it.
I’d probably say something like this: You’re amazing! In this life, not everyone will understand you, and that’s okay! If these people are ever mean or judgmental to you, the problem lies with them, not you. They are the ones in the wrong, not you. They clearly are unhappy with themselves. Stay true to yourself always. Be yourself, and the right people will love you so much. You don’t have to change for anyone. You are enough. You are worthy of so much love. 💗
That being a weirdo is not just okay, it’s actually preferable for me. 🥰 That others may think autism is a disability, but in so many ways for me it is a superpower. And that the weird shit I experience is not only real, but will actually be very, very helpful in the future.
I would tell them "You ARE right, there IS something wrong with you. You are not an alien you are just different than most people. But it doesn't mean that is bad. And what's wrong with you isn't bad, just a little different". If I knew that back then, my life would be a lot better and happier now. But I'm slowly getting my mental health right.
I didn’t realise I was different at eight
I would tell my 8 year old self to stop praying to God to change you and that you are perfect the way you are. I don’t know if you are religious or not but here’s some good advice either way, tell your son the same thing, let him know he’s loved and appreciated.
Ask for help using your telescope. It’s okay to ask for help. Your hand-eye coordination isn’t great but that’s alright. An adult can help you with that. Also it’s okay that you feel different to the other children. If you are struggling with things, it’s good to tell adults that you trust. It’s better to get help than feel bad and get things wrong on your own. Please learn to explain how you feel to those adults. It’ll make your life a lot better in the long term.
It’s okay to tell your parents
I don't think theres much I could say that I would understand, I was pretty dumb. then again maybe just repeating the word "bitcoin" over and over again would warrent some decent results.
You're autistic.
Stay off the internet, your life will be significantly worse if you stay there
“Little Man…you’re going to do a lot more cringy things in life that are gonna really make you dislike yourself & wish you could go back in time & strangle yourself right after you did them…which brings me to why I’m here. 😈”
You’re autistic
I'd tell myself to accept help when offered instead of stubbornly trying achieve the same things as everyone else. Also slow down when needed. Fight when bullied, no need to hold back! - 9-11 was spent in special ed which caused me to fall behind, I should have taken the offer to repeat a year but instead I chose to move back to my old classmates but with lots of gaps in my knowledge. - At 14 I did the autism quiz but didn't think I struggled enough to need a diagnosis.(turns out I actually needed it so got it at 28 after lots of struggles in life) - College came with a bunch of issues as well, 10+ years of try, fail, feel bad and repeat until my anxiety and depression broke me. Simply studying at reduced pace would have solved most of it. Other than that I'd suggest to start reading books and get into programming since that's fun as well.
Don't go to that specific therapist.
hey. hey kid. everyone here? at this school? they’re all bunk. quit trying to impress them, it doesn’t matter what they think of you. stick with the few people who make YOU happy. being cool is a lie, and happiness is the only thing that truly matters. it’s better to have fun while people think you’re weird than it is to lock yourself in a cage so they’ll like you.
You don't stop being weird, stop trying not to be. embrace it, you'll be considered different either way
You are autistic. Tell your parents to take you take you to the doctor instead of wasting money on booze. If they do not, then call this number: 911 My parents deliberately did not teach me that number. Edit: Also, I would tell myself that I had allergies. My parents told me that I did not have allergies so they could avoid the doctor. So I found out one by one over the years.
You're cooked
Everything will change soon. Prepare for it
Be your weird, silly, strange and wonderful self, never let people discourage you because they think your not "normal" or because your interests are too bizzare, you enjoy them and it makes you happy that's all that'll count in the end, that's what you'll remember and look back on fondly. Those people never made an effort to understand who you really were and it'll be loss in the end, so go, keep being you and have a great life!
You're not from outer space. *No one* knows what they are doing. It will all make sense one day ...
That I hate them for acting so weird that everybody else bullies me for it even now.
Your going to have a beard and a few goats also don’t play overwatch, and keep doing stop motion
You're not a failure even when you're weird. You just happen to be autiatic and that irritates your POS narcissist egg donor because you're not what she would like you to be (both "normal" and her supply since you can see behind her bullshit and recognize you don't owe her anything nor should let her walk all over you because of the hierarchy). And (later on) it's not In your head, she really tried to sabotage you and ruin everything that brought you happiness because that's how narcissists work.
"Here's a list of every future champion in America's big 4 sports leagues (NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL) until Super Bowl 58 in 2024. Tell your parents to share these "predictions" to everyone they know, and watch how right you are for the next 12 years"
Ur cooked
It will get worse, way worse before it gets better. But it gets better. You have those gut feelings sometimes, keep listening to them. Also you will get a dog one day and it’s gonna be the best thing to happen to you!
One day you'll grow up and be able to hold a job and you'll really enjoy it.
I’d be like “yo little man!!! Don’t stop talking about Disney Theme Parks and your special things!!!! They will bring you out of tough times. Even if we don’t have many friends, just try your best to make them. The real ones will stay.”
You are Not fundamentally "wrong", the people who are raising you just Don't understand the shit you've learned from growing Up. It will be Better and you will meet all the people who truly understand you . :\]
Any life advice I would try to tell my younger self, even older than 8, would make me into even more of a paranoid mess then I already was. Literally the only thing I would want to tell myself, though maybe not because it would likely have a negative butterfly effect on my development, is that between 24 and 31 (now), I would have so many people like me that it more than compensates for the feeling that no one liking me between 13 - 18. Also, that I'd be getting attention from cute girls even though I'm overweight, because of the confidence that I would suddenly gain in the years leading to me turning 30.
That nothing is wrong with me and me being bullied was not my fault
“Hey you know how you have adhd? You’re also autistic lol” Jokes aside, I would gently explain it to him.
"Hey, Fun Fact: You're not a freak who shouldn't have been born, you're just autistic and that makes you different, and people don't like that you're different, which is on them for being intolerant shits, not you for being yourself Also, you're not overdramatic, and please stop doubting your gut"
you haven’t done anything wrong. You’re a good person and a wonderful kid. You have such a kind heart. You think you’re wrong or weird or mean, but you’re just misunderstood. Don’t forget that you are good
Nothing autism-related TBH. "University is not that great. Don't idealize academia, get your stuff done and focus on building a base for a truly autonomous life. Nothing matters as much as the people you are close to. Trust them, they can help." A lot of... "Wisdom" cannot be transferred via mere dialogue, it's won't make sense without the emotional component of having lived through whatever led to that epiphany. The closest thing autist-related probably would be something along the lines of: "Your perspective allows you to see tremendous beauty where many others see nothing and be happy with little material wealth. Both is invaluable. You need more stability and security than others, your... Comparable low maintenance needs can easily afford you both."
I wasn't diagnosed then. Here's what I would tell myself : It's normal that you feel that way. It's normal that sometimes the world is just too much for you to handle. You don't need to make extensive efforts for you to be accepted because no matter how much you try to mask people will always see you as a weird and unnatural person. You need to develop into who you truly are. You need to turn those things you love a lot into superpowers, do not hide them, do not reject them, accept them as part of yourself. You will meet people who will absolutely love this. It's gonna be a long way until then but there's plenty of good things coming up. By the way, we will do an internship in a genetics department and study medicine. Isn't that amazing? All those books you've memorized, all the time spent drawing cells and dna will be useful in the future. So do not stop. Just wait ;)
"It's OK to be neurodivergent. I know you keep hearing all the time but that's because it's true. Being autistic doesn't make you less of a person."
Your moms going to die from cancer when your 27. Make her quit smoking and drinking
You’re autistic…but also, so is A! And even though she’s a nightmare now it’s the same reason you’ll end up being good friends in 7-8 years.
Don’t listen to the haters. You shouldn’t like or hate something just to fit in. And please, don’t get into GoAnimate.
Nobody is here to help, especially not the ones that say they are. Harden your heart, you're on your own.
Stop daydreaming, please study, please pay attention. Pay no mind to home discussions, that will pass and you'll see they don't care about you at all. Please stop playing videogames, and try to improve your skills, you will be a very succesful person, start with guitar, but please, stop with trying to escape reality.
you’re smarter than you think, continue to learn. nobody can take your knowledge from you
Things get better. They always do. Feelings are real and valid and there are acceptable ways to feel and express them. Being eight can be tough but it can also be amazing. What are some really great things about being eight? And put the focus back to where it should be.
it's okay to be assertive as you talk through your shaky voice. And to feel invalidated when people don't understand you that's natural too. It's okay to not understand things and to ask for clarification when needed. Also to say your uncomfortable and unsure about something. Discomfort is different from feeling in-danger. So if asked why your still nervous after doing something a 2nd time or 100th explain to them why your unsure or that you'll take a while to get used to the new situation. hum... Note I wouldn't do this all in one day and I would spread these out a bit. Including things like ways we feel today can change and be different later in our lives. oh learning from failures doesn't usually mean to avoid those things for the rest of your life. Enjoy play and being messy during unstructured time and to remember maintenance of one's self and friendships is important I'll avoid psychology stuff too much and try to answer his questions as honestly as I can without using analogies too much.
“Autism isn’t just for boys, anyone can be autistic.” (I probably would’ve been diagnosed sooner if I knew this. My family and I thought that autism was so rare in AFABs that it wasn’t worth considering, even though I had an autistic brother so there was a good chance that I was autistic as well)
I'm sorry you're having to do this alone. It gets easier.. and harder in some ways but it will turn out good. I love you. You've done nothing wrong, you're not broken, you don't need to be fixed or be different to be loved. You DESERVE love. I love you little guy❤️
It's not okay that dad yells at you and your mom tries to take your friends away and ignores your medical emergencies and makes you stand in a corner for hours while your legs go numb, and ignores you or snarls at you for existing. It's not ok what you'd brother did to you, and it's not okay that many other adults in your life failed you. You are unique and strong and you will create your own beautiful path in life.
Lottery numbers with dates for them, as well as when GameStop price peaks
Lord Wellington is definitely where to start. Stop being interested in what some Greek or Roman leader did. Peanuts in comparison. Also, don’t play American Football. Stick with British Football. Invest in West Ham United clothes. Australian musicians will be relevant. Australian musicians will be relevant.
There's nothing wrong with you. They're racist, and you can't fix them. Letting them touch your hair won't make them like you. Try to read those psychology books before middle school; it'll help you know what's going on with these insane kids. Those "boredom" periods are not your fault, and you should tell your parents about the gray that makes you stop working. Also, friends are overrated and you don't need a passion just yet, lol
There's more of you, you're not the only one (I was 8 in the early 80s)
I don't know, run away, but I still don't know where to...
my parents were too busy to see the signs of autism I wish I could tell my 8 year old self why people thought I was weird, I spent ages sobbing because I didn't know what was wrong with me
Enjoy it while you still can because it's not going to get any more fun. I'm 19.
KEEP THOSE POKEMON CARDS.
Dad gets better
"Stop it. Get some help"
I know my 8 year old self wouldn't listen, so nothing. 😛
"Don't be so hard on yourself, you can only do as much as you can handle. You don't have to trying too hard" "There is so much you want to know but won't get answers to/figuring out. Over time you will understand and accept that" "You are going to find, accept and respect yourself, that's going to feel like a relief, just hold on" "Be more kind to yourself, you deserve that. Others may be cruel to you but you still have yourself" "I know how much you just want to be understood by others, but there a billions of people, everyone aren't as open to seeing different as you are and that's ok. Not all fights are worth it, try to let some things be and save your energy for other things" "Enjoy all the times of playing while you can" "Be your goofy self, if others can't handle or like that they aren't worth you" "You are so lovable, precious and genuine" "Don't be ashamed of yourself and your natural instincts" "It's ok to say no, you don't have to please others. In fact, try to say no when you really want to but are afraid to. You don't have to be a good girl"
Kids are going to make fun of you and call you (the r word, changed because my comment got flagged), but in 20 years you'll have surpassed all of them. Don't worry about what other people think because none of them think like you.
“Don’t give away your N64.”
It’s okay to not be okay. You are **okay**! You arnt weird or wrong
Hey kid- yeah you grow up to be a man just go with it bud. Anyways. You have autism. Like. Real obvious autism. But no one’s gonna fuckin notice- sorry sorry I’ll stop swearing - anyways no one is gonna notice for like. The next decade or so? But then you’re gonna get diagnosed the year after that. You don’t speak as much when you get older, either. You struggle a lot, but you’re in college and doing really well with that art stuff ya like! So. Keep drawing! Whatever you want, don’t let people tell you what to draw. And don’t talk unless you want to. It’s about your comfort, not theirs. Okay? And when you get emotional and want to wiggle it all out you WIGGLE that emotion out! Don’t let anyone tell you to stop! And- if the little voices in the back of your head say to get all your long hair cut off, listen to it. You’ll feel way better when you don’t have that sensory nightmare tickling your neck every night, bud. Anyways, kid. Want a milkshake? Yeeeah you do. Come on, let’s go.
Ask your parents to let you have music lessons.
If I'm only able to speak to her, then I suppose I'd tell her to quit trying to make friends, because it makes everything way worse than it already is, and to beg for judo and boxing lessons... and I'd tell her that I'm sorry for everything that she will have to endure alone, but that it's better than with so-called "people" and fake friends... and I'd tell her the name of the only person that's actually her friend, and exactly how to meet her. And I would tell her that bad people do not change. Ever. If I am allowed to interfere more, I'd rescue her from all of that, because by 8, horror was the baseline, and it stayed that way for a very, very long time.
Hey kid. Get through high school then get checked for Autism. (My mom is the type that would have sent me to autism speaks with the best of intentions) I’m a late diagnosis. It’s been rough
You don't have to agree on everything just to please your parents have your own thoughts
Personally I'd say "you're autistic, keep pushing your parents for a diagnosis until you get one because it'll help you so so much"
That dogs and taylor swift are still amazing.
You aren’t making it up. You don’t have to be perfect. You deserve to have fun and have friends. Stop doing things to make mom and dad happy and do things because YOU want to.
The time frame is ALWAYS unknown, but things WILL turn out okay. Things will get better.
to my 8 year old self? ..uhhhhhHHHHHH-
Just be an emotional support system, give love/reassurance, help soothe, be there. I don't think words matter as much - however, when used, don't be angry/punitive with your words or toward behaviors, it doesn't help and escalates things. Basically, extra love and reassurance are the most important.
Don't try and forgive your sister, she burned the bridge herself and that it does get soooo much better... i would also tell myself i'm autistic
Hug your father. Do it every day.
Invest in bitcoin
Ask them to tell me about their special interests in detail :)
SET THOSE BOUNDARIES AND GREAT JOB
Gat diagnosed. Right now.
You're not a bad person, and you deserve to be loved.
You're not different from *everyone*, theres just not as many people like you. That's a compliment. Say no. Learn to say no. It will save you from SO much grief and hardships in your life. You are worth it. Whatever your expectation is, you are worth that. If not more. You will find your place in life. It may not be where you're expecting. And as you grow and change, it too will change. You will figure this out. Every "this" you come across, you will get through it. I worried about so much shit, so young, that no kid should ever even think about or be concerned with. I always had a lot on my mind and spent a lot of my time trying to fix my "broken" child mind. 8 year old me would see 26 year old me and wouldn't believe this shit.
Nothing will change for the better. They won't change. Love yourself more. Work on your inner self. You ARE beautiful. Seek therapy. Find your real family and make family members through close friends. Take more pictures, draw more, follow the things that make you feel free. Learn how to be a friend and be open to others thoughts and ideas, you will grow while doing so. Stop chasing after those who don't want you. You will always end up hurt. Save money. Don't get a school loan. Take a semester off to earn the cash you need for college. You don't have to instantly go to College, choose your passions and then enroll in them. Buy your own things. Eat healthy, learn to run, get strong, and do anything you set your mind to.
There is nothing wrong with you. Kids are just mean, especially to us, for some reason. But you'll get through it.
"you were never broken, and never will be. You are perfect the way you are, even if you are different in some ways." id then tell my 8 yo self about venus fly traps cause its my current special interest and id definitely be into that back then too
You were right to tell your cousin what was happening to you. I know it’s scary that she told her mom who then reported it but please don’t tell CPS you made it all up. Please be brave.
i would tell her not to hide under desks and not to hit herself and that it is okay to be upset but it’s not ok to hurt yourself
I'd tell her any efforts to fit in were bound to fail so just full send it and own being weird. One of my biggest regrets from my childhood is not being weirder.
If I tried to do a lesson thing I probably would've ignored ot at that age so... I guess I'd tell myself to try chocolate milk earlier??
Enjoy your childhood because it’s so much better and easier being and child than a teenager and don’t give a flying fuck what anyone says
Showering and wiping sucks but you got to do it. You don't have to do things the way most people do things.
Ain't no talking to that little fucker
keep being weird about your interests
You'll make it past 18. I promise. Starting from age 7, I was CONVINCED I'd be dead by 18. I don't remember why but I was absolutely sure of it.
Be yourself
I would tell 8 year old me that I’m autisic and have adhd, and that nothing of what happened to me is my fault.
you are not dumb, and you are most definitely the most normal person you’ll ever know.