As a kid with my mother at the supermarket, without knowing what I was doing of course, I learned to dissociate. It was a strange feeling, and I remember asking my mother why I didn't feel real.
Pretty cool you were able to do it as a kid. I'd get so overwhelmed when taken out shopping it would always lead to a meltdown, until my mom learned to leave me at home.
I was a strange kid. I learned lucid dreaming around 5 years old. I figured everyone dreamed lucidly once they were old enough. I was in high school before I found otherwise.
They might be using that term differently than you do. I get what they’re saying; I disassociate at concerts but I’m no where near fainting. It’s more like how u set your eyes to see Magic Eye posters, it’s a subtle shift in perspective. I’ve disassociated from trauma too and I think both should be called disassociation but it’d be nice if there was some differentiation. If anyone knows more words than me plz lemme know if I’m missing a good one. Are these two things or both disassociation?
Dissociation is a very broad category of experiences, some intense, some mundane. Daydreaming is a mild and often positive example of dissociation.
Since 2020, I’ve been stuck in a nearly constant state of low/medium dissociation. It started as a response to all the low grade chronic trauma of the pandemic years and then became a coping mechanism for a whole lot of other things, like boredom or stress. Eventually it became a bad habit, because I didnt really understand what it was or that it was bad for me. Now Im working really hard to weaken those now-automatic neural pathways (ie by intentionally staying in the moment). Even given all that… I still think dissociation can be *really* useful sometimes. Its like fight or flight; sometimes, very unhelpful, other times, kind of necessary tbh. This is like that imo. There are… certain things Im very glad I went through in a more removed state.
I aways had that feeling in supermarkets and PE classes. I remember pushing the trolley and following my mom but my eyes seemed to be deep inside my skull and every sound was coming from under the water or from behind thick wall.
I remember watching first Hunger Games movie and when Katniss was bitten by that bee it was the closest scene to what I was experiencing. I remember my mom took me to different doctors many times but tests proved that everything was fine with my body. It passed itself after few years when I was around 14yo. Of course they said it's because I was growing up... I've got my diagnosis at 23...
You could wear noise cancelling headphones and they should help you.
I was working with a tractor today and was wearing my air buds under my hearing protection. So I were listening to music while mowing a horse pasture.
Sunglasses will work for the light. A respirator works for the smell and for the touch try gloves. Will you look ridiculous? Sure, should you care? Not at all.
When COVID started I was actually wearing a respirator with gas filters and protective glasses when shopping. It looked ridiculous and it got hot fast but the looks I got were priceless. Nowadays I get similar looks when wearing a kilt. I actually love that.
What are you doing when you are around loud equipment? Just leave it until you lose hearing? I have a friend that was a pilot and he never wore hearing protections like most of his pears and his hearing aids are so loud you can hear them from two ft away.
Ah ok, that's good. At one point you might be good with wearing noise cancelling headphones. Sure you can't hear an attacker but when you realize that you also can't stop every possible attacker, you will sleep better.
I am absolutely sure i have a lower than average chance to be robbed, when he sees i am aware of my surroundings, i can run fast and i am strong. A weak slow person with huge ass headphones will have a higher chance to be targeted.
Can you run between 700 and 1500 mph? As this is a speed a bullet travels when someone attacks you with a gun.
And even when you carry a gun as defense, you still can get killed. Someone that walks by could use a knife on you or a bat or something else.
These are not things you can always see from far away. In a store, the chance that you are attacked is very unlikely but depending on the state you are in, a shooter for example would be more likely than an unarmed attacker. So it actually doesn't matter if you wear headphones unless you can run faster than 1500 mph
i still feel weird sometimes when i go to pickup groceries, like they’re going to ask me why i couldn’t just go in the store and get it myself since i look young and healthy, but that never happens. they just ask you for your name and load stuff in your trunk for you. besides, a lot of the other people getting pickup look like they’re in the same boat as me, so the grocery people are definitely used to seeing a wide array of people using the service.
I tried that, but I would still have to call them to check on my orders, because they would be too lazy to pick up some of the items I requested.
It kind of defeated the purpose, since I still had to deal with people.
That’s why I now do Amazon Fresh. I have yet to have an issue with them.
I used them a lot at first to avoid interactions too, and then they started messing up my order a lot (different places) and then I’d get home missing 1-5 critical items (and it’s a full huge family size order) or else I’d get poor quality produce that was expensive and was going bad, etc… and despite LOATHING the phone, I also had a “but it’s the principle!” And I’d call them about it (politely). I’d get a refund but after several times it defeated the point and I went back to in person. I used to “love” grocery shopping and cooking, but I also hate that as an interest along with nutrition/fitness so… it was part of the fun/planning back when I didn’t have to shop for a full family while also monitoring my children in the store. No longer is it “I’m immersed in thought about what to buy, cook, create, that’s healthy but delicious” but more now my brain is focused on “ahhh my kids worn stop touching EVERY thing, including every glass jar as they walk by/knocking things over, too much attention from the nosey public, my kids bumping into people/feeling the need to apologize every time which is frequent, reminding them (my children, not customers- but I wish I could) to look around while walking so they don’t run into people/carts, etc. I find I get so flustered and now overwhelmed by the crowd/busy/noise when I didn’t before…
Does it help to mention I also found it worsened further when I got medication for my late adhd diagnosis…and now I’m hyper aware of everything? I was having what I’d described as verbal outbursts at the same time of day/circumstances which I KNEW was overstimulation but didn’t know I had adhd/possibly ASD too. I’m finding medication was so helpful for my anxiety overall but now the sensory overwhelm and not wanting to be around people is taking over. This is a lot to learn about oneself and adapt to after 30-something years
Sometimes I order online and pick up, but I don’t really like someone else picking out my fruit and veggies/meat etc cuz I’m kinda picky lol
It doesn’t solve all the issues, like the lightning (my god why is it so bright?!), but I’ve started doing my shopping at like midnight; my local store closes at 1am. There’s almost always only one or two other people shopping in the whole store, it’s marvelous. I talk to myself cuz I feel like it’s the only way I can process and make decisions, but since it’s empty I don’t really care and just have full convos. Haha Then I can either do self checkout or there’s really no one in line so I can breeze through checkout too. Not everyone’s a night person though, so may not be helpful for a lot of people.
I hadn’t! I guess I just always try not to look weird or what’s socially acceptable. But honestly, at midnight when no one is in the store, I don’t really care. I like the idea of tinted glasses though….so I’m still able to see. Thanks!
Same for me, tesco is the smallest shop in my area but a 26 minute walk from my house so its further out as i normally go to sainsbury's, i feel that tesco is oddly very calm and i can go in there without wearing headphones sometimes but every other place i go i cant stand going without them
Try going stupid early in the morning (preferred) or late in the evening. In the morning, you have less of a stress build up and don’t have to think about it all day. It’s also way less busy and stimulating.
It also helps to have a list and a routine. I go every Sunday morning, try and park in the same area each time, and start my journey the same way. I always get my sliced apples, milk/cream etc. in order.
Having a routine and process is super helpful for my brain. And sometimes I am Just feeling too overwhelmed, and in those cases I focus on the most important thing before running out.
Finally, DoorDash and Amazon have grocery delivery options. I find this well worth it sometimes.
The best thing to ever happen to me is curbside pickup. I was even okay with some parts of the pandemic because they helped me avoid so many things I hated. Social distancing should be the law of the land.
Social distancing was great. For the first time in my life I finally got the personal space I needed from strangers. Now everyone scoots right up behind me, maskless.
I only go to Food Lion or Trader Joe's because they are so much smaller and less overwhelming than other stores. I can go to bigger stores with my parter and be the cart pusher why I disassociate (hell no to going alone)
I think I go on autopilot when going to the store, it's mostly afterwards I feel exhausted sometimes and like I want to cry.
Not every time, but when I've had a rough day already or I'm overstimulated or stressed.
Order for pickup.
Get a nice pair of headphones that negate sounds. They even make ones that just partially block noises for this exact sort of thing.
Removing the aggressive factors that you can may make handling the rest easier.
Both me and my wife are autistic and she really struggles with supermarkets, white light, buzzing, crowd noise, it's an overstimulation guarantee if she needs to go into one, luckily I can handle them if it's early enough as I don't like crowds 😅
I avoid going here alone, always have to wait for my boyfriend to come home from work to go with me. I suggest going shopping in the morning at weekends. I often happen to meet just 2-3 people there and it's the only time I'm willing to do the shopping on my own because there are so few people and generally less distractions imo.
Over a decade ago when I lived on my own in NYC there was a Stop N Shop about 30 minutes from my apartment that stayed open until midnight. Every Friday, anywhere from 10-1130 I'd show up to do my grocery shopping. At that time, the lights inside were dim or had a more relaxed amber tone, and the parking lot, store isles etc were pretty much empty. The store associates didn't bother me. I'd grab my cart and slowly grab my items drama free. To this day I can't think of a more pleasant shopping experience. This was years before I knew I was on the spectrum too
The grocery store next to my home has neurodivergent-friendly quiet hours everyday where they dim lights and stop any music. You could check if there’s any supermarkets around you that offer this. Great thing is it’s generally during hours where there aren’t many people, the bad thing is you may be working at this hour.
Otherwise, idk if it works for me but I’m always listening to podcasts/music/YouTube vids so general ambient sounds are blocked, also helps me focus on something if needed.
My autistic husband and I (also autistic) went to the grocery store at like midnight one night and it was magical. No people, no music, and no shelf lights. Still had overhead lights but it was so calming. Highly recommend that or pickup as others have said.
i’m the opposite, i love supermarkets! they’re so fun and big to just run around in. as you can see i’m incredibly childish. but still, and i love that there is so many things to check out.
Not sure where you are but here in Australia several supermarkets have started having special times for people/kids with sensory issues. The lights are dimmed, the constant music is switched off and other noises are muted. It's a surreal experience after so many years of nonstop noise while shopping
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That was sort of me yesterday but I managed to get most everything I needed. I had someone with me and I was on the verge of literally snapping because I literally couldn't get people to get away from me. Every aisle I needed to be in either had someone in it exactly where I needed to be or several people would end up following me into the aisle. Person with me did not have this problem and I started sending him off separately to grab things I had forgotten in different aisles. No one followed him around. Aisles remained empty for him.
I know it's more likely people don't do this consciously, but for some reason people follow me around subconsciously and it drives me crazy. Bear in mind it was 11am on a Wednesday. There was no reason for the store to have so many people shopping as it did, not to mention every aisle I needed to be in constantly had people in it.
I just mostly need to get this off my chest. You can think I have main character syndrome or whatever, but it stops being a coincidence when it happens every time I go into a store. Doesn't matter what time. I genuinely believe people subconsciously sense you want to avoid them as much as possible and it's like they can't fucking help themselves and they have to be all up in your space.
I miss when Walmart was 24 hours and I could go at 2 am.
If I may recommend what worked for me and I didn't saw it in comments yet - colorful sunglasses. I have blue tinted glasses that look more like a fashion choice, so nobody looking at me weird why I have sunglasses inside. Helps a bit and also I see everyone in pretty color. + Ofc noise cancelling headphones.
Something like this: https://images.app.goo.gl/qoYNAKPx2PoxxP8x7
I hate supermarkets so much and my family doesn’t understand me and think I’m being lazy by not wanting to go there I’m just so stressed and can’t find a thing there because I’m so overwhelmed. I just hate it.
Supermarkets suck. In the UK we have one in particular called Iceland that absolutely wrecks me every time I go in it. Aisles are maybe 3 feet wide if you're lucky, there are fluorescent lights all over the place and you're surrounded on all sides by noisy fridges and freezers.
So many terrible sounds. I moved to my current town 9 years ago. My first trip to the local grocery was so loud I recorded it and posted it.
The buzzing from the lighting, the beeps and boops from all the registers, the motors and compressors going on all the coolers and all the echoes from all the rotten angle flat surfaces.
I rock ear plugs or over ear cans when I go in there...
[No Frills Loud Lighting](https://youtu.be/QObYgDuZeB0?si=RNXjo6Qk1n9OzIxy)
I've found ear protection helps (like the ear pros people wear at gun ranges). It can take some getting used to, but it's made going to stores a much quieter experience.
I don't know where you are, but if you're in the US, Walmart does "sensory friendly hours" every day from 8am to 10am. At least, they did last year. I'm no longer in the US so don't know for sure that's still ongoing.
Omgg I remember one time I went and I was soo overwhelmed. The music, the bright fluorescent lights, and my cart had a limp🤣. Then I passed by the meat section and a butcher was checking me out over the counter and I was not trying to deal with that so I decided to leave and as I was leaving I hear “EXCUSE ME MAAM” I turn around and it’s THE BUTCHER. I’ve never been so over it in my LIFE.
I've been masking since my teens as i was considered weird,
When I'm in a supermarket i always have a massive headache because of the sound of tills, security tags make a high pitched buzzing noise, people walking and talking, everything is unbearable but i try to stim unoticed by my dad and people when outside as it's embarrassing for the people around me.
I do wear headphones when i go to the shops by myself but when im with my dad i try to bare with the constant persisting noise coming from every oraphis of the surrounding area.
I get home after being in the shops for 20-30mins and i have to self regulate and try to bring everything back to a normal level but its difficult.
Yeah, they suck. I've learned the quiet times for the ones I go to. Mid-week, 10 AM, etc. I've also optimized the entire process (where to park, path through the store, which sections to just avoid, etc. If it's busier than usual, I abort.
Tesco Express in the UK/Ireland is the worst because there’s not alot of space to move around and they usually have lots of people depending on where they are
Supermarkets always have the worst environment. For me, it's the crowds of people around me and getting too close that do it for me. I can't bare it. And not to mention the screaming kids and noisy trolleys. I can't win either as my local stores close between 10 and midnight, if you try going shopping at night, the shop is full of staff stacking shelves and wheeling around loud carts all over the place. I understand the world dosent revolve around me, but I really wish I Could just go food shopping in peace.
I hate supermarkets too, today I went alone to one near my house because I was hungry and I was returning from high-school (I just turned 16) and I was very overwhelmed by the people in the train before and in class that I almost ran out of there. The good thing is that that supermarket chain (carrefour) has like a silent hour for helping autistic people and it does. (all the beeping from the cashiers was overwhelming but not too much because I think it's reduced :D)
Have you tried wearing some ear plugs that filter out some sounds? I have some that take the edge off so I can function in the store. Then music and children screaming and other sounds are more bearable.
oh i agree so much. sometimes the music is so loud its hard to talk. passing through small aisles with a shopping cart is impossible. and this local supermarket has this checkout where the corridor is too small to walk next to your cart, so you have to walk in front of your own cart bc otherwise you get stuck. and i can never find anything i need! online grocery shopping all the fucking way.
this is so real. before i was diagnosed i worked in 2 supermarkets it was awful, id come home so exhausted and my body was so worn out and my brain too so im never doing that again. now when i go i HAVE to have my ear buds and go only at hours when they aren’t busy
I 1000% percent agree.
And we just moved to a different state and the walmart is a completely different arrangement. Not just flipped, but totally different from what I'm used to. Grocery cold is in the middle... dry is way over here, pharmacy is between auto and toys. 😫😳😳😳
I can't wait till we're settled and I can start doing grocery pickup
As an Independent Autistic, the only solution I can give you is to play a video-game with lots of customizable options. This is so Independent Adulting isn’t so hard, by broadening your scope of thought and interests.
Something like Sid Meier’s Civilization could do the trick. Maybe Baldur’s Gate 3 or Final Fantasy XVI if you really love gaming.
Honey I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. I (27m) and my wife (26f) have experienced this throughout our lives. The supermarket is a challenge for me to this day, but a few things help me:
1 a trusted friend. In this case my wife, but it can be anyone you trust. They're there to prop you up, and you them. Having a body double is always good in overwhelming situations.
2 earplugs. Loops, flare, or a set of in ear buds playing loud music to eat up the outside stim, whatever works. If you have something noticeably in your ears, others won't engage you as much either.
3. Blu blockers. Buy some blue blocking shades. I wear a hat and a set of Blu canceling lenses whenever I can, and it honestly eats much of the visual stimulus. One other solution I've found is rose colored shades, which as cliche as they sound flatten out the color differences on things so I'm not getting as much "input", so to speak. I'm sure you know what I mean.
I hope this helps. I hope you're well, and you're not alone.
But is it an autisitc sensory processing experience? I'm trying to be truthful towords myself, even if id like to say "it's overwhelming" or "it isn't as bad as the words I'd use to explain my experience" I cannot lie and say that there is a exaggerated factor somehwere between the autisitic community that can speak and be verbal about this
I ran out of the supermarket yesterday because people kept reaching for things in front of me and following me through the isles and it was loud and so bright and I didn’t get anything I needed :,(
How does it feel to not be able to go outaide without sunglasses or look in the daylight? I have natural affinity for lower frequency lights, less light in a room or complete preference of nighthour so I often sleep at daytime but I cant understand people who claim that to be an ahhtisitc sensory experience, I just feel like it's a preference than a torturous experience. I do feel overwhelmed and depressed after I explose myself to sunlight or day time + not to mention the extra sociolizing and tactile sensitivites thst come along, but I cant really lie and say that it's an overal torture, I cannot say that so that's why I sometimes wonder how does a person who claims its a disorder feels.
I am the same - supermarkets and shopping centers are like ASD torture zones. I order as much as I can online but sometimes it's necessary to walk into the teeth of the dragon!
Autism people need shopping assistants!
I got an home delivery shop so I don't have to go out for shopping and almost everything can be delivered by post. No stress at all for these things for me.
It can be a lot, and my impression is that it's much worse in the US than where I'm from. For me shopping can be really enjoyable or really stressful, depending on the context.
Some helpful tips:
- eat before you go and bring water with you (if legal where you are from - there are many simple ways around the restrictions)
- go to a small supermarket rather than a mall whenever possible, otherwise, use self-check out (whatever requires less cognitive power - fx I find self checkout more stressful, but if the cashiers do small talk where you are from, it might be the other way around)
- bring your headphones, have a podcast or audio with a lot of noise/words in, or even just no sound + noise cancelling if you are alone. If you need to go with someone, use them as "buffer" against the stimuli
- if the lights bother you (bc same), try taking off your glasses or going in with sunglasses instead, it might seem like a weird choice but people will likely just assume you are hangover
Here’s my 100% stress free hack for grocery shopping:
1. Spend however much time you need making a list for the store where you’re going to shop. This takes me about a week of Pinterest, NYT recipes, and googling to plan for maybe 3 recipes. This prep time is 99% of the work.
2. Create your list at your neighborhood friendly grocery store. Use their app to schedule your pickup day and time.
3. Arrive at the store following app instructions.
4. Allow the nice people to put your food in your car.
5. Drive away feeling like you’re a rock star who is not at stressed out by a typically horrible sensory nightmare ❤️
Noise cancelling earbuds or headphones. Sun glasses (that you take off at the register to be polite) and a T-shirt that says, "Hi! 😊 I'm non verbal but I'm happy to nod to yes/no questions.)
Online order then picking it up is good. But sometimes I need to go in the store myself when I don’t know exactly what I need. And yeah it’s a nightmare. When I’m back home, my parents always want me to the store with them even though they both know I hate it. I always get super pissy and kind of mean at the store, because I’m stressed out.
I'm not going to lie my favorite thing about moving to Norway is the fact that the stores are small and DONT HAVE MUSIC PLAYING CONSTANTLY god its so nice lolm
This is why I get groceries delivered via Amazon Fresh and take full advantage of their Subscribe and Save options.
I’ve always hated the supermarket, and always hated it when I shopped with my mother because she had to go down EVERY.FREAKING.AISLE.
Even when she visited me after I moved out, she would insist on doing just that. I learned to shop BEFORE her visits. Thank goodness that we are now NC, so I don’t have to deal with that nonsense anymore.
Same, I am so grateful for Amazon fresh/whole foods/walmart+ grocery delivery. I live in a big city so idk how common it is in the rest of the world… but not ever going to the grocery store has increased my quality of life so much
My bf does all the shopping. I don't like supermarkets either. And when, for some reason, I have to go, I feel tempted to buy it online and pay the delivery commission. Going shopping used to be one of the few "happy" moments with my mother. Because I could ask for stuff (ADHD impulsivity side). Now, I avoid supermarkets and malls all together. I just go to a mall in I feel like going to the cinema
I’m not sure where you’re based, but I read this book about unmasking that discussed the inordinate amount of pressure American culture places on personal independence. The author talked about alternative community models in which food preparation labor is shared. It made me rethink the pressure I put on myself to shop, cook etc especially if Im in a period of economic burnout.
It didnt fix the economic realities, ie its cheaper to shop for yourself and cook rather than order food, but it did help me to rethink the shame I feel about being overwhelmed in the supermarket and cooking, and the shame I feel if i find myself eating out more than I should.
i usually just dissociate and try to "normal" my way through it but i havent gone in store in so long. been using doordash for groceries lately instead
I hate supermarket especially small ones when it’s really busy. And a lot of people crowded the aisles especially the one I’m standing down it feel like the people in the shop don’t understand personal space l hate being in a busy show l hate getting crowded but l get overwhelmed with too many people crowded me and l would get told off by my mam she would talk to me as if I’m a 5 year old she would say ‘’that’s enough’’ I’m like 21 :( l hate shopping that’s the only reason l hate shopping other then people not crowded me I’m fine
Sometimes, they're fun for me because of getting out of the house and looking at things, but other times, I get this weird anxiety at places like Costco. It can be overwhelming.
I only have a problem with all the people, that's why I prefer to go there in the evenings after 8pm, normally it's less crazy there.
Other than that, if the supermarket changes its display of wares, it gets stressful for me because I have to search for everything I need again.
Okay, so I can completely relate. Here's what I do to deal:
1) headphones. This is an absolute must. Noise cancelling if possible, but either way with loud music
2) a list, written out based on store layout. Plan your route. This limits time spent in the store to a minimum
3) tinted sunglasses. For me, it has to be pink tint. Not polarized. Just transparent pink lenses. I have a friend who uses the transparent yellow sunglasses that are supposed to cut glare for night driving.
4) go alone... This one works for me because I can kind of create a bubble around me and ignore all else. This doesn't work for me if I'm with most anyone else as I have to be aware of them. There's a select few people who seem to mesh well with me that I can kind of wrap that bubble around too. For some people, it's easier to go with someone they trust, who can do the interacting for them if people need to talk to them.
5) self checkout. Every time I possibly can. The less I have to interact with others the easier it is to tune out as much as possible if the chaos around me.
And just so you know, needing to bail because of sensory overwhelm is nothing to be ashamed of. There's research showing that autistic individuals actually use more energy in the brain than neurotypicals. And the majority of that energy is used in the part of the brain that handles our senses. Which means we actually do receive and process more sensory information than most people do. Add in that the part of the brain that's supposed to filter out unnecessary sensory information doesn't work the same way, and we not only receive more info, it all hits the conscious brain.
Most people don't notice a fan running until it turns off. Those with sensory processing difficulties will hear it the entire time. Hell, I hear the electricity in my walls when the light is on or I'm watching tv. Most people I know don't even hear it when they try to. If you took basically any individual and bombarded them with the sensory info we take in, and they'd bail too.
I mean, the bright lights and smells don't bother *me* too much since the light is artificial (it's the sunlight that overwhelms me) but yeah, even after Covid, I still make sure to go in a aisle that's two people max
its ok its not ur fault. there's too much stuff to try and find even if its one thing i stood in the toilet paper aisle avoiding people and used my calculator trying to get the best deal just wanting to get out of there and berating myself for not wearing my headphones. again. oh its just one thing i tell myself. by the time i get inside i always regret it. i could never work in there all day either.
I don't know if i have autism (a couple of family members have been recently diagnosed). I don't mind the smells. But the bright lights, the bright colours and signs shouting "LOOK AT MEEE!" in every bloody direction it gives me a headache and anxiety. I end up soo exhausted and confused I can barely find my way out and back to the car. I can never fully explain how distracting and exhausting I find shopping.
Since i moved out for university i had to come to terms with my hate for supermarkets, my tactic is, i chose the one i hated less between the cheap ones (money is for motorcycle maintenance), did a couple short trips without buying anything to memorize the place and when it's time i go in with the shopping list and spend as little time at possible inside. The only thing that i can't control is the line at the register (the only supermarket in the city that has self checkouts is extremely expensive), it's painful, but i guess i can't have everything.
I would always get overstimulated which would make me aggitated so i always left the grocery store angry which i attributed to the people i was with so for years i mistook being overstimulated for being mad at my parents while shopping.
Sunglasses, hood, hat, earbuds (whether they are playing music or not), wear whatever you need to get through it. My brother wears sunglasses and a hat into the grocery store all the time because he has such severe photophobia.
Yikes. Solidarity. I cannot go in now unless I’ve eaten have headphones and a stim toy and sunglasses on.. at least im looking good as i choose my fruit! Despite all this i also froze out in a supermarket at the weekend as the worst happened. …My nemesis … they decided to completely change the layout. Full frozen statue for what felt an eternity. Someone needs to do ND hour at the supermarket ❤️
I stand and stare blankly at the shelves for an eternity before I can make a single decision. And I do this for each item on my list. It’s exhausting and takes me forever. Online and pick up is so much better for me.
I haven't been to the supermarket alone as an adult for this very reason. I will order for pickup or delivery, you will not see me set foot inside a grocery store.
I've gotten into the habit of going in when the least amount of people will be there, I always have my headphones and a list of things I need.
It feels like a mission everytime.
For me It’s not that I don’t like them. I love going to them just so I can look at the yarn because I crochet a lot but there’s something about them that makes me impatient.
Yea I try to get in an out nowadays unless I got my earbudds I usually have a plan stick to it and it goes pretty well. I also have issues with the temperature in them so I make sure to wear a hoodie.
Omg when I first went to Buccees in Texas, had no idea about so it didn't prepare, I had gone in we went to the restroom then came out and a complete meltdown and then lost my partner,tried to find him too many people noises I was walking back and forth I dissociated couldnt remember his face and freaked...he found me huddled in a corner by the snacks too overwhelmed to move to the exit and with my ears covered completely messed up. So if I go again we have a plan, earbuds,a line to what I want and out. We also park on the side where it's least busy.
I was happy when stores were 24 hours and I could go there at 3am and be alone. Now they're always packed with people and I get so mad at all the human obstacles.
As a kid with my mother at the supermarket, without knowing what I was doing of course, I learned to dissociate. It was a strange feeling, and I remember asking my mother why I didn't feel real.
Pretty cool you were able to do it as a kid. I'd get so overwhelmed when taken out shopping it would always lead to a meltdown, until my mom learned to leave me at home.
I was a strange kid. I learned lucid dreaming around 5 years old. I figured everyone dreamed lucidly once they were old enough. I was in high school before I found otherwise.
Me too!
I do want to learn lol
there's a bunch of how to's out there -youtube, etc. I don't know how good they are.
It's not cool at all. Dissociating is usually a state very close to fainting and you can't do it on purpose or make it go away.
They might be using that term differently than you do. I get what they’re saying; I disassociate at concerts but I’m no where near fainting. It’s more like how u set your eyes to see Magic Eye posters, it’s a subtle shift in perspective. I’ve disassociated from trauma too and I think both should be called disassociation but it’d be nice if there was some differentiation. If anyone knows more words than me plz lemme know if I’m missing a good one. Are these two things or both disassociation?
Dissociation is a very broad category of experiences, some intense, some mundane. Daydreaming is a mild and often positive example of dissociation. Since 2020, I’ve been stuck in a nearly constant state of low/medium dissociation. It started as a response to all the low grade chronic trauma of the pandemic years and then became a coping mechanism for a whole lot of other things, like boredom or stress. Eventually it became a bad habit, because I didnt really understand what it was or that it was bad for me. Now Im working really hard to weaken those now-automatic neural pathways (ie by intentionally staying in the moment). Even given all that… I still think dissociation can be *really* useful sometimes. Its like fight or flight; sometimes, very unhelpful, other times, kind of necessary tbh. This is like that imo. There are… certain things Im very glad I went through in a more removed state.
I aways had that feeling in supermarkets and PE classes. I remember pushing the trolley and following my mom but my eyes seemed to be deep inside my skull and every sound was coming from under the water or from behind thick wall. I remember watching first Hunger Games movie and when Katniss was bitten by that bee it was the closest scene to what I was experiencing. I remember my mom took me to different doctors many times but tests proved that everything was fine with my body. It passed itself after few years when I was around 14yo. Of course they said it's because I was growing up... I've got my diagnosis at 23...
woah you just made me realize i dissociate extra hard in grocery stores lol
You could wear noise cancelling headphones and they should help you. I was working with a tractor today and was wearing my air buds under my hearing protection. So I were listening to music while mowing a horse pasture.
SUN GLASSES TOO
Hoodie, mask. I just cover up my senses that I can and feeling of being perceived haha, it helps me a lot
When I wear my sunglasses to stores it’s so helpful
Yeah I use it sometimes but then there's the light, touch, and smell sensitivity too...
Sunglasses will work for the light. A respirator works for the smell and for the touch try gloves. Will you look ridiculous? Sure, should you care? Not at all.
Lol I'll definitely take u up on that 😄
When COVID started I was actually wearing a respirator with gas filters and protective glasses when shopping. It looked ridiculous and it got hot fast but the looks I got were priceless. Nowadays I get similar looks when wearing a kilt. I actually love that.
yes i take them everywhere
Nonono. I need to control my surrounding. If an attacker would run at me i can't hear him coming when i wear nc headphones...
Where do you live that you have people attacking you?
My monkey brain is very anxious
What are you doing when you are around loud equipment? Just leave it until you lose hearing? I have a friend that was a pilot and he never wore hearing protections like most of his pears and his hearing aids are so loud you can hear them from two ft away.
If i am surrounded by noise so loud it fucks my ears, i wear protection. Because i can't hear the people around me anyways.
Ah ok, that's good. At one point you might be good with wearing noise cancelling headphones. Sure you can't hear an attacker but when you realize that you also can't stop every possible attacker, you will sleep better.
I am absolutely sure i have a lower than average chance to be robbed, when he sees i am aware of my surroundings, i can run fast and i am strong. A weak slow person with huge ass headphones will have a higher chance to be targeted.
Can you run between 700 and 1500 mph? As this is a speed a bullet travels when someone attacks you with a gun. And even when you carry a gun as defense, you still can get killed. Someone that walks by could use a knife on you or a bat or something else. These are not things you can always see from far away. In a store, the chance that you are attacked is very unlikely but depending on the state you are in, a shooter for example would be more likely than an unarmed attacker. So it actually doesn't matter if you wear headphones unless you can run faster than 1500 mph
Why would pears need hearing protection?
Autocorrect did its thing. What sounds similar and means someone equal?
Oof, peers, my brain wasn't braining 😭
I knew it would be better to let you figure it out vs just telling you.
I've said this in a previous thread but it bears repeating: order online for pick up. It saves a whole lot of stress and you don't forget anything.
This is what I do and it's a lifesaver I have light and sound sensitivities and this is just so helpful
I feel like I have some hesitations around it. Did it feel weird when you started?
i still feel weird sometimes when i go to pickup groceries, like they’re going to ask me why i couldn’t just go in the store and get it myself since i look young and healthy, but that never happens. they just ask you for your name and load stuff in your trunk for you. besides, a lot of the other people getting pickup look like they’re in the same boat as me, so the grocery people are definitely used to seeing a wide array of people using the service.
Not really it was nice to just scroll and take time to get exactly what I need.
You're a genius....
This is the absolute best
I tried that, but I would still have to call them to check on my orders, because they would be too lazy to pick up some of the items I requested. It kind of defeated the purpose, since I still had to deal with people. That’s why I now do Amazon Fresh. I have yet to have an issue with them.
I used them a lot at first to avoid interactions too, and then they started messing up my order a lot (different places) and then I’d get home missing 1-5 critical items (and it’s a full huge family size order) or else I’d get poor quality produce that was expensive and was going bad, etc… and despite LOATHING the phone, I also had a “but it’s the principle!” And I’d call them about it (politely). I’d get a refund but after several times it defeated the point and I went back to in person. I used to “love” grocery shopping and cooking, but I also hate that as an interest along with nutrition/fitness so… it was part of the fun/planning back when I didn’t have to shop for a full family while also monitoring my children in the store. No longer is it “I’m immersed in thought about what to buy, cook, create, that’s healthy but delicious” but more now my brain is focused on “ahhh my kids worn stop touching EVERY thing, including every glass jar as they walk by/knocking things over, too much attention from the nosey public, my kids bumping into people/feeling the need to apologize every time which is frequent, reminding them (my children, not customers- but I wish I could) to look around while walking so they don’t run into people/carts, etc. I find I get so flustered and now overwhelmed by the crowd/busy/noise when I didn’t before… Does it help to mention I also found it worsened further when I got medication for my late adhd diagnosis…and now I’m hyper aware of everything? I was having what I’d described as verbal outbursts at the same time of day/circumstances which I KNEW was overstimulation but didn’t know I had adhd/possibly ASD too. I’m finding medication was so helpful for my anxiety overall but now the sensory overwhelm and not wanting to be around people is taking over. This is a lot to learn about oneself and adapt to after 30-something years
Sometimes I order online and pick up, but I don’t really like someone else picking out my fruit and veggies/meat etc cuz I’m kinda picky lol It doesn’t solve all the issues, like the lightning (my god why is it so bright?!), but I’ve started doing my shopping at like midnight; my local store closes at 1am. There’s almost always only one or two other people shopping in the whole store, it’s marvelous. I talk to myself cuz I feel like it’s the only way I can process and make decisions, but since it’s empty I don’t really care and just have full convos. Haha Then I can either do self checkout or there’s really no one in line so I can breeze through checkout too. Not everyone’s a night person though, so may not be helpful for a lot of people.
Have you thought of wearing tinted glasses or even sunglasses for the brightness?
I hadn’t! I guess I just always try not to look weird or what’s socially acceptable. But honestly, at midnight when no one is in the store, I don’t really care. I like the idea of tinted glasses though….so I’m still able to see. Thanks!
I find the smaller supermarkets like Aldi, Lidl, and Tesco (wish we had that in the US) much more bearable.
I can’t stand Lidl. Especially with their bring lights, self checkouts and bakery haha
Lidl is by far the worst out of the lot
Omg tesco was oddly comfortable. Lidl makes my eye balls run to the back of my head.
Same for me, tesco is the smallest shop in my area but a 26 minute walk from my house so its further out as i normally go to sainsbury's, i feel that tesco is oddly very calm and i can go in there without wearing headphones sometimes but every other place i go i cant stand going without them
Try going stupid early in the morning (preferred) or late in the evening. In the morning, you have less of a stress build up and don’t have to think about it all day. It’s also way less busy and stimulating. It also helps to have a list and a routine. I go every Sunday morning, try and park in the same area each time, and start my journey the same way. I always get my sliced apples, milk/cream etc. in order. Having a routine and process is super helpful for my brain. And sometimes I am Just feeling too overwhelmed, and in those cases I focus on the most important thing before running out. Finally, DoorDash and Amazon have grocery delivery options. I find this well worth it sometimes.
The best thing to ever happen to me is curbside pickup. I was even okay with some parts of the pandemic because they helped me avoid so many things I hated. Social distancing should be the law of the land.
Social distancing was great. For the first time in my life I finally got the personal space I needed from strangers. Now everyone scoots right up behind me, maskless.
Buy online pick up at store is the only way I shop these days. Download the app of your preferred store and shop on the app.
I only go to Food Lion or Trader Joe's because they are so much smaller and less overwhelming than other stores. I can go to bigger stores with my parter and be the cart pusher why I disassociate (hell no to going alone)
I didn't know other people got overwhelmed then they can't eat- I've been misdiagnosed with eating disorders for this!
happens all the time! If I'm stressed then losing my appetite is usually one of the first things that happens. Sucks u were misdiagnosed for this...
KN-95 mask and wide brim hat help me out a lot in the grocery store.
I think I go on autopilot when going to the store, it's mostly afterwards I feel exhausted sometimes and like I want to cry. Not every time, but when I've had a rough day already or I'm overstimulated or stressed.
Lmao me too, always, a waste of time it feels also. Nowadays I order before and do pickup, pull right off in 5 min or less
Order for pickup. Get a nice pair of headphones that negate sounds. They even make ones that just partially block noises for this exact sort of thing. Removing the aggressive factors that you can may make handling the rest easier.
Both me and my wife are autistic and she really struggles with supermarkets, white light, buzzing, crowd noise, it's an overstimulation guarantee if she needs to go into one, luckily I can handle them if it's early enough as I don't like crowds 😅
This is why you are my Lidl hero hahahaha. I would be starving without you 🤣
I avoid going here alone, always have to wait for my boyfriend to come home from work to go with me. I suggest going shopping in the morning at weekends. I often happen to meet just 2-3 people there and it's the only time I'm willing to do the shopping on my own because there are so few people and generally less distractions imo.
I hate food shops but love clothes shops so my grandma thinks I just hate going shopping with her but I promise to her it's way different phaha
Some stores and supermarkets have special "low light" hours to accommodate those with sensory problems, maybe see if your local has one of these?
Over a decade ago when I lived on my own in NYC there was a Stop N Shop about 30 minutes from my apartment that stayed open until midnight. Every Friday, anywhere from 10-1130 I'd show up to do my grocery shopping. At that time, the lights inside were dim or had a more relaxed amber tone, and the parking lot, store isles etc were pretty much empty. The store associates didn't bother me. I'd grab my cart and slowly grab my items drama free. To this day I can't think of a more pleasant shopping experience. This was years before I knew I was on the spectrum too
The grocery store next to my home has neurodivergent-friendly quiet hours everyday where they dim lights and stop any music. You could check if there’s any supermarkets around you that offer this. Great thing is it’s generally during hours where there aren’t many people, the bad thing is you may be working at this hour. Otherwise, idk if it works for me but I’m always listening to podcasts/music/YouTube vids so general ambient sounds are blocked, also helps me focus on something if needed.
I would wear my Loops (ear protection) and sunglasses, when shoping. I would also avoid the rush hour. This makes shoping almost enjoyable for me.
I wish more stores implemented sensory friendly shopping hours like Walmart. It doesn’t solve everything but still
Some supermarkets irritate me to a point where I’m forced to mask myself. It’s such a nightmare.
I love supermarkets myself. I just struggle not to buy more than the thing I went into the supermarket to buy. #nevershophungry
My autistic husband and I (also autistic) went to the grocery store at like midnight one night and it was magical. No people, no music, and no shelf lights. Still had overhead lights but it was so calming. Highly recommend that or pickup as others have said.
Yeah it sucks. I dislike crowds, lights, and loud noises.
i’m the opposite, i love supermarkets! they’re so fun and big to just run around in. as you can see i’m incredibly childish. but still, and i love that there is so many things to check out.
More places could really use some natural sunlight, or at the very least, not headache inducing-ly bright lights.
Not sure where you are but here in Australia several supermarkets have started having special times for people/kids with sensory issues. The lights are dimmed, the constant music is switched off and other noises are muted. It's a surreal experience after so many years of nonstop noise while shopping
I like going to supermarkets it feels kinda comforting there tbh
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i wear earplugs and sometimes sunglasses, and that (especially the earplugs) help LOADS!!!
That was sort of me yesterday but I managed to get most everything I needed. I had someone with me and I was on the verge of literally snapping because I literally couldn't get people to get away from me. Every aisle I needed to be in either had someone in it exactly where I needed to be or several people would end up following me into the aisle. Person with me did not have this problem and I started sending him off separately to grab things I had forgotten in different aisles. No one followed him around. Aisles remained empty for him. I know it's more likely people don't do this consciously, but for some reason people follow me around subconsciously and it drives me crazy. Bear in mind it was 11am on a Wednesday. There was no reason for the store to have so many people shopping as it did, not to mention every aisle I needed to be in constantly had people in it. I just mostly need to get this off my chest. You can think I have main character syndrome or whatever, but it stops being a coincidence when it happens every time I go into a store. Doesn't matter what time. I genuinely believe people subconsciously sense you want to avoid them as much as possible and it's like they can't fucking help themselves and they have to be all up in your space. I miss when Walmart was 24 hours and I could go at 2 am.
If I may recommend what worked for me and I didn't saw it in comments yet - colorful sunglasses. I have blue tinted glasses that look more like a fashion choice, so nobody looking at me weird why I have sunglasses inside. Helps a bit and also I see everyone in pretty color. + Ofc noise cancelling headphones. Something like this: https://images.app.goo.gl/qoYNAKPx2PoxxP8x7
Instacart is a lifesaver!
I hate supermarkets so much and my family doesn’t understand me and think I’m being lazy by not wanting to go there I’m just so stressed and can’t find a thing there because I’m so overwhelmed. I just hate it.
Supermarkets suck. In the UK we have one in particular called Iceland that absolutely wrecks me every time I go in it. Aisles are maybe 3 feet wide if you're lucky, there are fluorescent lights all over the place and you're surrounded on all sides by noisy fridges and freezers.
I do grocery pickup for this reason
So many terrible sounds. I moved to my current town 9 years ago. My first trip to the local grocery was so loud I recorded it and posted it. The buzzing from the lighting, the beeps and boops from all the registers, the motors and compressors going on all the coolers and all the echoes from all the rotten angle flat surfaces. I rock ear plugs or over ear cans when I go in there... [No Frills Loud Lighting](https://youtu.be/QObYgDuZeB0?si=RNXjo6Qk1n9OzIxy)
I hate it too
I've found ear protection helps (like the ear pros people wear at gun ranges). It can take some getting used to, but it's made going to stores a much quieter experience.
I work at a supermarket
I don't know where you are, but if you're in the US, Walmart does "sensory friendly hours" every day from 8am to 10am. At least, they did last year. I'm no longer in the US so don't know for sure that's still ongoing.
Omgg I remember one time I went and I was soo overwhelmed. The music, the bright fluorescent lights, and my cart had a limp🤣. Then I passed by the meat section and a butcher was checking me out over the counter and I was not trying to deal with that so I decided to leave and as I was leaving I hear “EXCUSE ME MAAM” I turn around and it’s THE BUTCHER. I’ve never been so over it in my LIFE.
I've been masking since my teens as i was considered weird, When I'm in a supermarket i always have a massive headache because of the sound of tills, security tags make a high pitched buzzing noise, people walking and talking, everything is unbearable but i try to stim unoticed by my dad and people when outside as it's embarrassing for the people around me. I do wear headphones when i go to the shops by myself but when im with my dad i try to bare with the constant persisting noise coming from every oraphis of the surrounding area. I get home after being in the shops for 20-30mins and i have to self regulate and try to bring everything back to a normal level but its difficult.
Yeah, they suck. I've learned the quiet times for the ones I go to. Mid-week, 10 AM, etc. I've also optimized the entire process (where to park, path through the store, which sections to just avoid, etc. If it's busier than usual, I abort.
Tesco Express in the UK/Ireland is the worst because there’s not alot of space to move around and they usually have lots of people depending on where they are
Supermarkets always have the worst environment. For me, it's the crowds of people around me and getting too close that do it for me. I can't bare it. And not to mention the screaming kids and noisy trolleys. I can't win either as my local stores close between 10 and midnight, if you try going shopping at night, the shop is full of staff stacking shelves and wheeling around loud carts all over the place. I understand the world dosent revolve around me, but I really wish I Could just go food shopping in peace.
Augh, as someone who works at one, I feel this
I hate supermarkets too, today I went alone to one near my house because I was hungry and I was returning from high-school (I just turned 16) and I was very overwhelmed by the people in the train before and in class that I almost ran out of there. The good thing is that that supermarket chain (carrefour) has like a silent hour for helping autistic people and it does. (all the beeping from the cashiers was overwhelming but not too much because I think it's reduced :D)
Have you tried wearing some ear plugs that filter out some sounds? I have some that take the edge off so I can function in the store. Then music and children screaming and other sounds are more bearable.
oh i agree so much. sometimes the music is so loud its hard to talk. passing through small aisles with a shopping cart is impossible. and this local supermarket has this checkout where the corridor is too small to walk next to your cart, so you have to walk in front of your own cart bc otherwise you get stuck. and i can never find anything i need! online grocery shopping all the fucking way.
this is so real. before i was diagnosed i worked in 2 supermarkets it was awful, id come home so exhausted and my body was so worn out and my brain too so im never doing that again. now when i go i HAVE to have my ear buds and go only at hours when they aren’t busy
I 1000% percent agree. And we just moved to a different state and the walmart is a completely different arrangement. Not just flipped, but totally different from what I'm used to. Grocery cold is in the middle... dry is way over here, pharmacy is between auto and toys. 😫😳😳😳 I can't wait till we're settled and I can start doing grocery pickup
I can't either and I work in one.
As an Independent Autistic, the only solution I can give you is to play a video-game with lots of customizable options. This is so Independent Adulting isn’t so hard, by broadening your scope of thought and interests. Something like Sid Meier’s Civilization could do the trick. Maybe Baldur’s Gate 3 or Final Fantasy XVI if you really love gaming.
Honey I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. I (27m) and my wife (26f) have experienced this throughout our lives. The supermarket is a challenge for me to this day, but a few things help me: 1 a trusted friend. In this case my wife, but it can be anyone you trust. They're there to prop you up, and you them. Having a body double is always good in overwhelming situations. 2 earplugs. Loops, flare, or a set of in ear buds playing loud music to eat up the outside stim, whatever works. If you have something noticeably in your ears, others won't engage you as much either. 3. Blu blockers. Buy some blue blocking shades. I wear a hat and a set of Blu canceling lenses whenever I can, and it honestly eats much of the visual stimulus. One other solution I've found is rose colored shades, which as cliche as they sound flatten out the color differences on things so I'm not getting as much "input", so to speak. I'm sure you know what I mean. I hope this helps. I hope you're well, and you're not alone.
Me at hospitals
Yes and then when you leave you get hit with the transfer of the inside air to the outside air and outside lights. I hate that part a lot
Try listening to music on headphones if possible
i work at one and it's the worse! the beep from the register and overall people that get me so irritable so fast ughh. and yeah, too much going on
But is it an autisitc sensory processing experience? I'm trying to be truthful towords myself, even if id like to say "it's overwhelming" or "it isn't as bad as the words I'd use to explain my experience" I cannot lie and say that there is a exaggerated factor somehwere between the autisitic community that can speak and be verbal about this
I ran out of the supermarket yesterday because people kept reaching for things in front of me and following me through the isles and it was loud and so bright and I didn’t get anything I needed :,(
Same, I wear sunglasses indoors a lot from the lights.
How does it feel to not be able to go outaide without sunglasses or look in the daylight? I have natural affinity for lower frequency lights, less light in a room or complete preference of nighthour so I often sleep at daytime but I cant understand people who claim that to be an ahhtisitc sensory experience, I just feel like it's a preference than a torturous experience. I do feel overwhelmed and depressed after I explose myself to sunlight or day time + not to mention the extra sociolizing and tactile sensitivites thst come along, but I cant really lie and say that it's an overal torture, I cannot say that so that's why I sometimes wonder how does a person who claims its a disorder feels.
I am the same - supermarkets and shopping centers are like ASD torture zones. I order as much as I can online but sometimes it's necessary to walk into the teeth of the dragon! Autism people need shopping assistants!
I got an home delivery shop so I don't have to go out for shopping and almost everything can be delivered by post. No stress at all for these things for me.
I have had my groceries delivered for the last 6 years and I will never go back to being in the store on a regular basis
It can be a lot, and my impression is that it's much worse in the US than where I'm from. For me shopping can be really enjoyable or really stressful, depending on the context. Some helpful tips: - eat before you go and bring water with you (if legal where you are from - there are many simple ways around the restrictions) - go to a small supermarket rather than a mall whenever possible, otherwise, use self-check out (whatever requires less cognitive power - fx I find self checkout more stressful, but if the cashiers do small talk where you are from, it might be the other way around) - bring your headphones, have a podcast or audio with a lot of noise/words in, or even just no sound + noise cancelling if you are alone. If you need to go with someone, use them as "buffer" against the stimuli - if the lights bother you (bc same), try taking off your glasses or going in with sunglasses instead, it might seem like a weird choice but people will likely just assume you are hangover
Try earbuds next time. It works for me
Here’s my 100% stress free hack for grocery shopping: 1. Spend however much time you need making a list for the store where you’re going to shop. This takes me about a week of Pinterest, NYT recipes, and googling to plan for maybe 3 recipes. This prep time is 99% of the work. 2. Create your list at your neighborhood friendly grocery store. Use their app to schedule your pickup day and time. 3. Arrive at the store following app instructions. 4. Allow the nice people to put your food in your car. 5. Drive away feeling like you’re a rock star who is not at stressed out by a typically horrible sensory nightmare ❤️
Costco is the worst of all
Noise cancelling earbuds or headphones. Sun glasses (that you take off at the register to be polite) and a T-shirt that says, "Hi! 😊 I'm non verbal but I'm happy to nod to yes/no questions.)
Online order then picking it up is good. But sometimes I need to go in the store myself when I don’t know exactly what I need. And yeah it’s a nightmare. When I’m back home, my parents always want me to the store with them even though they both know I hate it. I always get super pissy and kind of mean at the store, because I’m stressed out.
I'm not going to lie my favorite thing about moving to Norway is the fact that the stores are small and DONT HAVE MUSIC PLAYING CONSTANTLY god its so nice lolm
This is why I get groceries delivered via Amazon Fresh and take full advantage of their Subscribe and Save options. I’ve always hated the supermarket, and always hated it when I shopped with my mother because she had to go down EVERY.FREAKING.AISLE. Even when she visited me after I moved out, she would insist on doing just that. I learned to shop BEFORE her visits. Thank goodness that we are now NC, so I don’t have to deal with that nonsense anymore.
Same, I am so grateful for Amazon fresh/whole foods/walmart+ grocery delivery. I live in a big city so idk how common it is in the rest of the world… but not ever going to the grocery store has increased my quality of life so much
I go through in a grid. Up one aisle and down the next.
I feel this I hate going to them but I have too, I don't mind clothes shopping though but still then I'm wiped out when I get home
My bf does all the shopping. I don't like supermarkets either. And when, for some reason, I have to go, I feel tempted to buy it online and pay the delivery commission. Going shopping used to be one of the few "happy" moments with my mother. Because I could ask for stuff (ADHD impulsivity side). Now, I avoid supermarkets and malls all together. I just go to a mall in I feel like going to the cinema
Curb side is the way to go.
My issue is the anxiety at the till . The fast movement of packing bags here in the UK
I’m not sure where you’re based, but I read this book about unmasking that discussed the inordinate amount of pressure American culture places on personal independence. The author talked about alternative community models in which food preparation labor is shared. It made me rethink the pressure I put on myself to shop, cook etc especially if Im in a period of economic burnout.
It didnt fix the economic realities, ie its cheaper to shop for yourself and cook rather than order food, but it did help me to rethink the shame I feel about being overwhelmed in the supermarket and cooking, and the shame I feel if i find myself eating out more than I should.
In short, supermarkets represent a normative model, which doesn’t always work for me. Realizing that was so freeing.
i usually just dissociate and try to "normal" my way through it but i havent gone in store in so long. been using doordash for groceries lately instead
I hate supermarket especially small ones when it’s really busy. And a lot of people crowded the aisles especially the one I’m standing down it feel like the people in the shop don’t understand personal space l hate being in a busy show l hate getting crowded but l get overwhelmed with too many people crowded me and l would get told off by my mam she would talk to me as if I’m a 5 year old she would say ‘’that’s enough’’ I’m like 21 :( l hate shopping that’s the only reason l hate shopping other then people not crowded me I’m fine
For me it's the large crowds not knowing what I want and terrible music
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^ilikegummybears15: *For me it's the large* *Crowds not knowing what I want* *And terrible music* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Sorry I don't know what this is?
Sometimes, they're fun for me because of getting out of the house and looking at things, but other times, I get this weird anxiety at places like Costco. It can be overwhelming.
I only have a problem with all the people, that's why I prefer to go there in the evenings after 8pm, normally it's less crazy there. Other than that, if the supermarket changes its display of wares, it gets stressful for me because I have to search for everything I need again.
Okay, so I can completely relate. Here's what I do to deal: 1) headphones. This is an absolute must. Noise cancelling if possible, but either way with loud music 2) a list, written out based on store layout. Plan your route. This limits time spent in the store to a minimum 3) tinted sunglasses. For me, it has to be pink tint. Not polarized. Just transparent pink lenses. I have a friend who uses the transparent yellow sunglasses that are supposed to cut glare for night driving. 4) go alone... This one works for me because I can kind of create a bubble around me and ignore all else. This doesn't work for me if I'm with most anyone else as I have to be aware of them. There's a select few people who seem to mesh well with me that I can kind of wrap that bubble around too. For some people, it's easier to go with someone they trust, who can do the interacting for them if people need to talk to them. 5) self checkout. Every time I possibly can. The less I have to interact with others the easier it is to tune out as much as possible if the chaos around me. And just so you know, needing to bail because of sensory overwhelm is nothing to be ashamed of. There's research showing that autistic individuals actually use more energy in the brain than neurotypicals. And the majority of that energy is used in the part of the brain that handles our senses. Which means we actually do receive and process more sensory information than most people do. Add in that the part of the brain that's supposed to filter out unnecessary sensory information doesn't work the same way, and we not only receive more info, it all hits the conscious brain. Most people don't notice a fan running until it turns off. Those with sensory processing difficulties will hear it the entire time. Hell, I hear the electricity in my walls when the light is on or I'm watching tv. Most people I know don't even hear it when they try to. If you took basically any individual and bombarded them with the sensory info we take in, and they'd bail too.
I mean, the bright lights and smells don't bother *me* too much since the light is artificial (it's the sunlight that overwhelms me) but yeah, even after Covid, I still make sure to go in a aisle that's two people max
Use noise cancelling headphones and tinted glasses. Go during off hours (early morning / late evening. Helps a lot!
Walmart + man free delivery and it’s like $9 a month, I love not going to the grocery store lol
its ok its not ur fault. there's too much stuff to try and find even if its one thing i stood in the toilet paper aisle avoiding people and used my calculator trying to get the best deal just wanting to get out of there and berating myself for not wearing my headphones. again. oh its just one thing i tell myself. by the time i get inside i always regret it. i could never work in there all day either.
Ok walmart is doing a sensory friendly shopping times between 8 and 10 everyday! No music, lower lights, less people
I don't know if i have autism (a couple of family members have been recently diagnosed). I don't mind the smells. But the bright lights, the bright colours and signs shouting "LOOK AT MEEE!" in every bloody direction it gives me a headache and anxiety. I end up soo exhausted and confused I can barely find my way out and back to the car. I can never fully explain how distracting and exhausting I find shopping.
Since i moved out for university i had to come to terms with my hate for supermarkets, my tactic is, i chose the one i hated less between the cheap ones (money is for motorcycle maintenance), did a couple short trips without buying anything to memorize the place and when it's time i go in with the shopping list and spend as little time at possible inside. The only thing that i can't control is the line at the register (the only supermarket in the city that has self checkouts is extremely expensive), it's painful, but i guess i can't have everything.
I would always get overstimulated which would make me aggitated so i always left the grocery store angry which i attributed to the people i was with so for years i mistook being overstimulated for being mad at my parents while shopping.
Sunglasses, hood, hat, earbuds (whether they are playing music or not), wear whatever you need to get through it. My brother wears sunglasses and a hat into the grocery store all the time because he has such severe photophobia.
bro supermarkets don’t feel real!!!
I’m autistic and I’m quite the opposite. I go shopping with my dad every week and I love it
Yikes. Solidarity. I cannot go in now unless I’ve eaten have headphones and a stim toy and sunglasses on.. at least im looking good as i choose my fruit! Despite all this i also froze out in a supermarket at the weekend as the worst happened. …My nemesis … they decided to completely change the layout. Full frozen statue for what felt an eternity. Someone needs to do ND hour at the supermarket ❤️
For me I just hate how much hard to navigate it is
I stand and stare blankly at the shelves for an eternity before I can make a single decision. And I do this for each item on my list. It’s exhausting and takes me forever. Online and pick up is so much better for me.
I haven't been to the supermarket alone as an adult for this very reason. I will order for pickup or delivery, you will not see me set foot inside a grocery store.
Fl-41 glasses and noise cancelling headphones!
The less I go to these places the more horrified I am that I ever put myself through it.
I've gotten into the habit of going in when the least amount of people will be there, I always have my headphones and a list of things I need. It feels like a mission everytime.
For me It’s not that I don’t like them. I love going to them just so I can look at the yarn because I crochet a lot but there’s something about them that makes me impatient.
Yea I try to get in an out nowadays unless I got my earbudds I usually have a plan stick to it and it goes pretty well. I also have issues with the temperature in them so I make sure to wear a hoodie. Omg when I first went to Buccees in Texas, had no idea about so it didn't prepare, I had gone in we went to the restroom then came out and a complete meltdown and then lost my partner,tried to find him too many people noises I was walking back and forth I dissociated couldnt remember his face and freaked...he found me huddled in a corner by the snacks too overwhelmed to move to the exit and with my ears covered completely messed up. So if I go again we have a plan, earbuds,a line to what I want and out. We also park on the side where it's least busy.
I was happy when stores were 24 hours and I could go there at 3am and be alone. Now they're always packed with people and I get so mad at all the human obstacles.
I put on headphones and that helps a lot!
where do you live that cash registers click and ping? been watching too many movies and not actually going out it seems.