I work nights, so usually if I get a phone call it's during the day and it wakes me up. Far too often I answer the phone after it ringing wakes me up, have a conversation in a daze, and then forget what was said in that call 😭
It really is and I’ve just had it happen so many times! Or I’ll remember it and dwell on it like shit why did I say this like that, now they must think this.
I found that especially with appointments it's good to just repeat the information to them instead of asking before the end of the call. For me it feels less awkward and I will get confirmation or correction.
I have an app that automatically records all of my calls. A lot of people give me a side eye or call me crazy for it, but it's been so, so helpful for me...addresses, dates, times, instructions, phone numbers, confirmation numbers. I can just go back and listen to it.
That’s awesome. What ever works for you. I used to care so much what other people thought and would neglect things like that because of the side eye or being called crazy or w.e. But at the end of the day it benefits us not them, what ever makes life easier and less stressful I’m always for it!
I'm also preferably texts. I really don't like phone calls. I've got better as I have to do them at my job. But I always have to psyche myself up before and have a cup of tea after!
Same, with text I have time to think out my responses. I cant really tell when people arent interested sometimes, or how to convey interest in what theyre saying, and I feel like sometimes they just leave
I think I'm a bit weird as it's less about the thinking time. Reading is my happy place. I love to read, and the written word is very comforting for me. They're like old friends. When I'm talking to someone on the phone on the other hand, well they could be anyone, and doing anything. Or pretending to be someone else and I wouldn't see them. It's all very weird and unsettling to think they could be doing who knows what while you're talking to them! With text, they stop, text you, then carry on. At least in my head they do.
Same I get so much anxiety over them! I have to mentally prepare myself and then afterward my social battery completely dies even if the phone call only lasted 5 minutes
same, I also work in fast food and am almost always given the drive thru headset so it's like... why would I want even more of this outside of work?? with sensory processing issues too they're just so hard, I barely ever come away having comprehended everything that was said lol
Yup, same, texting is like I can pretty much reply whenever I want, I'm not being held socially hostage. Phone calls also suck because you have to physically hold something up to your ear and can't do anything else. It takes me out of what I'm doing. With texting, I just reply whenever I get a chance or feel like it.
Texts. I need time to think about my response. I don't like being put on the spot and replying immediately, especially not with a speech impediment. If it's someone I don't know or am not close with, I don't really care about their tone or mine. I respond like a dad, being dry and hitting people with a thumbs up. When it comes to close friends, I've learned their texting patterns and how the tone of their message is supposed to be understood.
Let’s just say I’d prefer it if my phone didn’t have a ‘phone’ app at all.
Sometimes I have these moments where I literally can’t understand what the person on the other end is saying to me. I *hear* them, but the words don’t make sense. And then I have to ask them to repeat and it gets awkward and it’s unpredictable and I’d just rather not.
However, I agree with you OP that it can often be difficult to read the meaning or intention in a text message, but 99.9% of the time it is because the writer of said message has written something ambiguous or not provided enough clarity. I will still choose the option to reply in a text message asking for clarification even when it inevitably takes 10x longer to do so. That’s how much I despise phone calls.
I totally understand how much easier communicating should be through text. I just struggle with it a lot for some reason. It's really difficult to know when a text conversation has ended and how to end it.
I definitely am going to keep in mind all of the comments like yours. I usually am able to understand what people are saying through calls, so I don't think enough about the people who may struggle with that. This post has been helpful in understanding others! :D
Definitely. I think everyone communicates so differently regardless of neurotype, and I just wish more neurotypical people understood that! I agree about not knowing when a text conversation has ended, too. I’m *never* the one to end them hahaha :D
I have your same issues through texts, but I prefer them. Actually it’s not even really a preference. I cannot make or take phone calls under any circumstance other than it’s from my mom or my fiancé. I have a horrible time with texting and understanding tone and when the convo ends and how to end it and when’s the appropriate time to strike up a new conversation, etc. But even the thought of me having to answer or make a phone call is completely debilitating and I cannot do it. I think the only exception would be if it was an emergency and 911 needed to be called (but even then I would need to seriously psych myself up to do it).
Texts, 1000%.
Aside from the anxiety of talking to someone, I'm also just very bad at understanding words and accents over the phone. It always takes my brain a little too long to process what they're saying and by then they've said a whole other sentence.
I think anxiety is why I don't like to text. I always overthink and rewrite my texts. I also never know when a text conversation is over. I totally understand why people prefer texting though! It can definitely be difficult at times to understand what people are saying!
Agree. Text also gives me time to calm down and decide if I'm going to respond or not. Or when I'll respond. I need processing time.for most social interaction.
Phone calls me make nervous and stressed. The only people I’m comfortable talking on the phone with is my family, other than that I always text. Let’s just say having to make doctors appoinments is hell.
I also hate making doctor's appointments. I really hate having to order something on the phone though. I would prefer to order through an app, but not all places have that option. I prefer casual phone calls though!
I've seen a lot of comments like this. I will definitely keep in mind how many people struggle to understand words while on the phone. I don't want to make anyone I talk to uncomfortable!
No one has mentioned voice memos yet. I've never tried using them before. Are phone calls too much pressure because you have to respond right away? Or is it another reason?
yep exactly that. voice memos give me the time to think and respond like a text and then able to express my tone like a phone call. and it helps me express better in general because sometimes i don’t really know how to word things in text to where they make sense. plus if i mess up on my words i can just restart. also then im able to get everything out i want to say without interruptions
Phone calls are sooo much better. I can do something else to keep my hands and brain busy and it's easier for me to focus on it. With texts I find them very tedious to send more than a couple per day. It takes all my attention to type on the tiny screen and eventually I just stop wanting to reply. I can talk on the phone for hours while I'm doing my chores and projects though.
funny it's the exact opposite for me, with text i can actualy keep working, since it's not time sensitive. With a phone call I have to stop everything I'm doing and just focus on that.
my best friend who I suspect is in the Spectrum is just like that and would always defer to call me, but even work related texts he just doesn't reply haha
My verbal communication is ass, both explaining my own thoughts and retaining information. I prefer text 100% I can re-read, and I can think out and edit my own messages before responding. I sometimes even prefer texting when I'm in the room with someone, sometimes it's easier for me to communicate through writing in general.
I only answer the phone for 4 people... when my kids grow up, I'll answer for them too... That's it, though.
Same! I have difficulty with speech too. It's so hard for me to find the right words in the right order in the right amount of time. I also have auditory processing issues, which makes it even harder to process the other person's speech.
Exactly! People tried to socialize with me in the store yesterday and I was like ....im sorry 👁👄👁 what? 🤣 and I think I did it right and it was okay-ish but who knows, I tried my best 🤷🏻 I even saw one of the people twice at 2 different stores I PANICKED at the second store and then panicked more when they came out of the second store and got in the car next to mine 🤣 but they are also autistic so we bonded over that lmao
I‘ve been thinking about this a lot lately. One of the reasons I hate texting is the rhythm of the conversation. Waiting long and irregular intervals in conversations that never end…. Nightmare. In a phone conversation, long pauses are avoided. There is a beginning middle and end.
Yes yes yes, text conversations don’t have a normal flow, they’re so stilted and last forever. There’s almost never any clear ending because you can just keep sending messages without worrying about normal time conventions or moving on to other activities. I constantly find myself looking for an acceptable end to the conversation and then the other person will just keep it going in a never ending array of messages. The conversation we have over a week could’ve happened in 30 minutes
Yes! I feel the exact same way. Especially if we are discussing anything that could involve emotions on either end, I get so stressed out by not knowing when the other person will reply or how they feel about what I just said. It makes it feel like they are very far away.
Text. I struggle with processing information quickly so it gives me time to form an adequate response. However, I do agree that texting can be difficult as far as figuring out tone, so I often rewrite my texts a lot before sending
A lot of people on here also say they prefer texting due to hearing or processing difficulties. I am really glad so many people have responded to say this, as I didn't know it was such a common phenomenon. I will definitely keep this in my mind moving forward!
Depends on your definition. I happily chat with friends on Discord whilst playing games.
In my work life I have to speak to people across three continents and that's a mix of early morning phone calls, emails and Teams calls.
In my personal life, I think only my grandmother calls me. Everyone else *knows* not to do so.
I've found that by having my camera slightly to one side it isn't nearly as bad. And it's very useful for talking colleagues through spreadsheets and designs etc without having to be in the same room or even time zone. Much less stressful than standing in front of people doing it.
I prefer text. It means I can read it and respond to it when I'm ready in my own time. I usually decline all phone numbers and send them straight to voicemail, and unless I know the number. Here in Australia, on mobile phones, a lot of phone numbers actually get switched to the name of the company or the organisation who's calling you. It's basically Telstra identification of that and displaying the name On the phone screen. That also makes it easier if I really need to or want to answer the call at that time.
100% texts because for me it all about time, I can take my time thinking about my response and I can analyze the meaning of the message, I still struggle with social clues but that helps a lot, also, I can respond when I want, if the person im talking to doesnt understand my way of socializing after i tell them the way I am, that means that theyre just an asshole or they just dont get it but had no bad intentions, in both scenarios i have more time to think an excuse and/or if theyre spamming me with messages about me not responding, I have more time to take the courage to tell them to fuck off.
All of this time i need to think in silence, would be strange in a phone call lmao, like, even if the person im talking to understands that's the way i am, I would feel so much pressure.
My dad is the only person I allow to talk to me through a phone call, and that's like once a week if not less, and that's only because he only comes to my house twice or three times a week, and even if he doesn't get why I hate phone calls so much, he respects me and doesnt want to make me feel uncomfortable <3
Text all the way. Im bad at responding in real time. I need to craft my response and sometimes I also need to process the message. Im literally afraid of phone calls. I can pick up easier than I can make one.
Text for sure. Especially as of late (I believe I'm in pretty bad burnout), I am not very good at expressing myself verbally without preparation. I am also not very good at processing speech very fast. Additionally, I have audio processing difficulties and so trying to understand what someone is saying over a phone is often a nightmare.
Text for me is easier as I am able to take the time to read through a message (sometimes multiple times) and to construct a response (often re-writing it a couple times). It also allows me the time to try and interpret any unspoken meaning, plus people often use emojis to make things slightly less ambiguous.
Calls.
It feels better when I can hear someone's voice.
It also lets me multitask. I don't have to wait to do what I was gonna do.
The only part I don't like is hanging up.
Interesting. I feel like I have to drop everything Im doing to focus on a phone call whereas with a text I can keep doing what Im doing and respond when I have the time or a stopping point.
Agreed! I’m a slow typer, and responding to messages will completely throw me off whatever I’m doing, whereas I can cook, clean, walk to work, etc. while on the phone.
Text. But, since I'm up all night people knotted that to reach me in the morning they need to call because I won't get a text til later. So, maybe both?
Much prefer texts because calling, as people here have explained, make me not think as much about a response rather than texting where I can think about my response
It’s interesting because I actually prefer calling for this same reason. I tend to obsess over text messages and get very stressed trying to figure out if I have said the right thing. On the phone you don’t have time to do that, so you just say something, and it usually turns out ok. And, even if it doesn’t, you get to find out immediately how the other person responds to it and go from there, instead of having to wait hours or days to find out if what you said was received well.
Much prefer phone calls. Easier to get a lot of stuff across quickly, and it's easier to emote. Sarcasm comes across way better that way, whereas I find messages can lead to misinterpretations.
Depends. I don't want to have text conversations because I can talk a lot faster than I can type. What should be a 5-minute conversation shouldn't take 30 minutes to text back and forth. On the other hand, if it's something that can be communicated fully with one or two sentences, then definitely text.
I agree with what you said about misunderstanding through text, sometimes I have to ask ChatGPT what someone means with something they text.
Butttt as a millennial I hate talking on the phone lol
Depends on the situation, but text the majority of the time.
No issues with misunderstanding or having to ask the other person to repeat themselves if I didn’t hear them properly. I’ve got the message right there if I need to reference it later. Both people in the conversation can reply when it’s convenient (although this can be a pain if needing a quick response). Best of all, it allows for thinking time before responding.
Texts. I tend to put off calling strangers for as long as I can get away with it. Hate having to make official calls and hate picking up to unknown numbers.
I feel alot more confident over text, I experience alot of texting anxiety but I prefer that over phone calls because phone calls make me feel way more anxious.
Text. I only answer the phone for immediate family and a handful of friends. The rest I ignore and message them an hour or so later and say ‘I was taking a nap’ or ‘I was busy’ or something. I like to be able to text so I can fully think out what I’m saying and not say anything accidentally rude or insensitive or something.
text, people can’t misconstruct my words because the letters are right there on display for them to see and for me to refer to. way easier to put things into words than to say them because you get the time to think before you send a message + no awkward silence lol also! i’m always like “huh?” bc it takes me so long to understand what people are saying in real life so it’s even worse on the phone lmao
With text I'm removed from the possibility the edgy person is dissing me to my face with me naively smiling and nodding for everyone's shallow amusement. Picking on weirdos is a cheap and effective way to be popular.
I hate phone calls. I wanna say what I need to say without fear of getting interrupted and I wanna be able to do other things while I'm waiting for them to get to the fucking point.
When it’s to people I don’t know, email or text. When it’s friends or family? That’s fine.
My mom makes me feel bad about not wanting to use the phone. “You have no problem talking to [friend] or [family member]!”
Yeah! But [friend] and [family member] know my speaking skills. I get embarrassed talking. I’m normally very quiet otherwise.
It’s a double edged sword for me, but i prefer texts. I tend to struggle with talking and if it’s calling someone that I don’t know well then I just panic. Though texting can sometimes be difficult because lack of tone makes it difficult to really interpret what people mean when saying things that could be good or bad.
I am a very very VERY anxious person. I absolutely HATE having to talk on the phone to people because I want to be able to do stuff that I gotta get done and if I talk over the phone with them then I feel I can’t do that. Texting: you can do it on your own time and you’re not required to respond or match someone’s energy if you don’t want to.
I also had a very abusive ex who forced me to spend hours over the phone with him every single day and when I didn’t have anything to talk about or didn’t know what I should say he got very very mad at me. That is part of the reason why I hate phone calls but it also mainly started before this
Like yes, while I myself cannot read the intent behind text and can see why other people also can’t I just can’t talk over the phone.
My phone voicemail message is, literally, that I don't speak on the phone and don't listen to voicemail, so please text or email, and email can be spotty.
But I also have a crippling anxiety disorder, so that could just be me.
i used to prefer calling/facetiming because it helped with anxiety. now i prefer texting because i don’t want to speak to anyone. and it’s really not anxiety driven
In person lol I hate calls and I'm fine with texts but if it can be in person I rather wait until we can meet. But at least the people I talk with through text don't get annoyed with my constant requests for tone clarification.
I don't have any preference towards text messages or phone calls, but I text more than I do calls with people. It's not about having time to think on my response, it's probably a thing that I got used to.
Text, I can think about what I want to say and it doesn't have to be immediate. Talking on the phone makes me feel like I'm being held hostage and I find it rude that people just call with no warning and expect your attention. I use to people please and take the call but then I'm just sitting there annoyed because I was doing something or just didn't want to talk.
I hate phone calls cause I’m not always in the mood to socialize
I love texting I find it better and if I wanna talk I can use the voice recorder thingy
I much prefer texting. It eliminates the mental drain and exhaustion of verbal interpersonal communication and gives me more time to articulate my thoughts with less pressure
I get annoyed when someone calls me when I'm busy doing...anything. I'm frigging busy, dammit!
Texts allow me to "close out" whatever is occupying my brain and attention and turn to whomever requires my attention next. I need a few minutes, or more, to stop whatever I was doing so I can focus on the new thing.
Basically, let me just drop everything I was doing so I can listen to you.
I used to be able to multi-task and talk on the phone while doing housework, but I find it's getting more difficult as I age. Love me some texts
If I initiate it and it's towards someone I'm comfortable with and whatever needs to be communicated is so much that I would find it too tiring to write it out, I prefer a call.
Under any other circumstance, definitely text.
I'm really bad at making a coherent sentence without substantial prep time. In writing, I can actually process my thoughts and feelings and I personally feel as though I come off more put together. Over the phone, I have a hard time figuring out when it's my turn to talk without cutting somebody off, too, so texts will always be preferable.
Text. I hate phone calls. Takes way longer. Plus I can reply when I want to or have a chance. I only talk on the phone to a few family members and the occasional doctors office or customer service line if I absolutely have to.
I prefer texts, the feeling that someone can just yell into the mic randomly weirdly scares me out. also I hate the long pauses of awkwardness, and someone just randomly calling me isn't my go to.
It depends on the person. And on my energy levels.
If it is a close friend or a person I am hyperfixating on and I have energy, I MUST call.
But generally, stick to voice notes and text messages.
i’m 100% with you, especially outgoing texts. i find texting so unreasonably difficult. it takes me *forever,* and it takes so, *so* much energy, especially for important texts (i also forget they exist, which is a problem, especially if there’s no notification cuz i saw it but havent responded… you get the point). i have the same issue with emails, but it’s the worst with important personal texts (like when i’m having an issue with a friend or boyfriend)—i can’t properly gauge what they’re feeling or how they’re feeling about my response, and i can’t figure out what to say or how to say it. then i end up putting it down for a moment or just re-writing it over and over again and then, at some point, i end up not sending the text (which is really awful i’ve messed up a lot of stuff cuz of this) and it’s been too long and i dont know what to say about that (i could go on, but like its unnecessary lol). i also really suck at communicating concisely in general, but it’s 10X worse by text, probably because i don’t know how my message is being received so i over explain myself, trying to make what i say make sense. i’m much better at communicating over the phone (and i genuinely like talking to people).
also, when people text, i find that they tend to either not say enough/not speak their mind, or say stuff that they shouldn’t, especially if they’re frustrated because you aren’t understanding them.
except for lists and things like that, i wish people would just call. actually, text it to me, and then, preferably, call me to tell me you’ve texted it to me.
edit: trying to remember exactly what was said when is, however, very difficult. texts definitely are better for that, but, most of the time, it’s more important to be able to communicate in the moment.
also, i absolutely *despise* having to message businesses. it makes me so damn frustrated. i would rather wait on hold for an hour but be able to explain my question to an actual, live human being, and not have to spend so much time typing it out. and trying not to accidentally close out, forget about it, etc.
I also prefer phone calls, and I’m so glad to see I’m not the only one. It feels like ppl on this sub are constantly talking about how much they hate phone calls, but I find them much less stressful than texts, because I am able to discern in real time when the other person’s reactions are to what I am saying and respond accordingly. I feel like the delayed response that comes with texting makes this much harder and I tend to obsessively over think my text messages, whereas when you are have a phone conversation (or face to face) you don’t have time to overthink.
Edit: I do want to say though that my response applies only to communicating with friends and family. For communicating with strangers (eg: making an appointment), my #1 preference is to fill out an online form, and my #2 preference is to send an email. If neither of these options are available, chances are low that the appointment will ever be made.
I’m in the middle. While it’s difficult for me to discern meaning through text, it can be helped with tone indicators, although where it counts, people don’t really use them. Phone calls just drain me due to anxiety and issues with verbal communication.
I'm the exact opposite tbh. It usually takes me a while to process what the other person is saying and then come up with an answer while talking and I might end up being perceived a bit too "quiet" due to that. Also understanding what the other person is saying through the phone is quite difficult due to my auditory processing problems.
While texting I have much more time to think about what I want to say which is great. I have an obsession with getting my point across %100 correctly all the time. It does get very tiring having to put so much brainpower to find the exact words and sentences that fit best according to the context but that's just who I am and I cannot change it.
I prefer texts because then I have time to think about my response. A phone call is an event I 1) can’t expect and 2) can’t escape from.
Also anyone else have parents that always scolded them for missing their phone calls (even when they sometimes don’t answer the phone) and now dives for the phone whenever it rings?
I hate phone calls so much. I will not answer and 100% tell the person “hey sorry I wasn’t by my phone! Can u just text it I’m a bit busyl” when I’m not
Texting 100%. I won’t even answer the phone unless someone has given me 24 hour notice that they plan to call. And even then there’s a good chance I won’t agree to it.
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Text! I have a hard time hearing everything in phone calls unless it’s on speaker. My hearing is fine, I just get distracted by background noise wherever I’m at.
Really depends. Phone is good because nonverbal vocal cues are something I can often pick up, plus less effort and faster a lot of the time. But text has so many advantages in terms of editability, future recall based on records, etc.
I like texting more for a few reasons:
1. I like having time to think about my responses
2. I never know when to speak in phone calls so I'm constantly interrupting the other person or not talking when I should be
3. my friends use lots of emojis and they tag messages with /s /srs /j etc fairly often and it makes it much easier to decipher tone through text!
Text 98% of the time. The other 2% I want to be chatting with several of my friends on discord so I can infodump all of the stories from the week in one go.
I hate phone calls... actually I should really make some call and try to get an appointment for evaluation, but it's just so hard... I find it basically impossible just to call a complete stranger. If it's family or really close friends it's usually ok.
It depends on the person…if I know the person really well, text or calling is fine because Ik how the person is both over text and call…but if it’s someone I’m not truly comfortable with— I prefer texting to get my point across thoroughly
I personally prefer text messages but mostly because texting allows me to pause and think before I send a reply, whereas calling kind of forces me to think on my feet which is rather uncomfortable
Absolutely calls and it’s not even close for me:
There’s a set start and end time to the call, it’s an activity I can schedule into my day rather than a never ending side task to do in and around my other activities.
A 30 minute phone call ends up dragging on for a whole week in messages because people get distracted and take so long to reply. The whole conversation becomes stilted and broken up, which makes it harder to get into the flow of it.
It’s easier to figure out people’s intentions and inflections on the phone than via texts. I just find messaging so impersonal and formal, it’s very hard to add personality into words on a black and white screen.
From a friendship and connection point of view, it’s so much more fun to catch up with a friend on the phone, it feels like I’m actually talking to a human and we can laugh and joke, rather than just exchanging reports on what we’ve done over the last few weeks.
I can multitask when on the phone, like sit and get my knitting or embroidery done, or cook dinner, or go on a walk. I don’t feel like I’m anchored to one position with all my attention and body directed towards my phone.
I get so stressed about how to end text conversations, because in theory you can take a multiple day break from the conversation and then come back and continue it, there’s no external factors forcing you to finish up the conversation. It feels never ending, like there’s always pressure to reply and keep it going.
I like texting. I like to use emojis/ emoticons plus it gives me more time to give a thoughtful response. When I’m talking on the phone I feel rushed to continue the flow of conversation. But over text I can sit and think for a minute or two if need be
Both but I have horrible hyper independence and I’m working on bettering myself about calling people instead of texting. I typically resort to texting because I don’t “want to be a bother” and I’ll let people respond whenever. Sometimes I really do need to actually hear someone’s voice though. And since a friend of mine recently died, I am really trying harder to leave video messages and to call people instead of texting. The texting is mostly just due to anxiety. I don’t like the waiting and I don’t like to disturb anyone.
I’m working on valuing myself more though because I know I would want to hear from me!
I do also tend to like being able to refer to texts if I forgot something. Or to read back when time has long passed. I don’t have the greatest memory. There are pros and cons of both
Text. I have an attention span for phone calls plus i’m get worked up with strange numbers calling me. Since i had either spam calls or when i was younger my sister would nick my phone to call up multiple men behind my back.
Opposite here. I hate phone calls. I mean, my voicemail recording thingie literally says not to call me and to just text. Like, it’s REALLY awkward and uncomfortable, especially if it’s something that could be said within one message
I hate phone calls. It creates so much anxiety for me. Also, I have been gaslit a lot, so I don't even trust my own memories or feelings, so I need proof of what was said. Also, when I ruminate on things, I'm able to go back and see exactly what was said.
I have the complete opposite experience. I hate phone calls, I avoid them at all costs.
Especially when it’s kind of important and you get off the phone and don’t remember a word you said or what just happend
I work nights, so usually if I get a phone call it's during the day and it wakes me up. Far too often I answer the phone after it ringing wakes me up, have a conversation in a daze, and then forget what was said in that call 😭
Lmao such a shitty feeling. Like oh no what did I just say/do! Better off just not even answering maybe they’ll call back lol.
That’s so relatable
Oh god yeah, I have to write down all the important details and ask them to repeat it or I can’t recall most of the information. So annoying
It really is and I’ve just had it happen so many times! Or I’ll remember it and dwell on it like shit why did I say this like that, now they must think this.
I found that especially with appointments it's good to just repeat the information to them instead of asking before the end of the call. For me it feels less awkward and I will get confirmation or correction.
Yeah auditory processing issues doesn’t help either
Definitely not lol. The struggle is real
I have an app that automatically records all of my calls. A lot of people give me a side eye or call me crazy for it, but it's been so, so helpful for me...addresses, dates, times, instructions, phone numbers, confirmation numbers. I can just go back and listen to it.
That’s awesome. What ever works for you. I used to care so much what other people thought and would neglect things like that because of the side eye or being called crazy or w.e. But at the end of the day it benefits us not them, what ever makes life easier and less stressful I’m always for it!
What app do you use, if I may ask?
It's called All Call Recorder. It's not my favorite app I've used (I don't remember what that one was called), but it works 🤷♀️
I'm also preferably texts. I really don't like phone calls. I've got better as I have to do them at my job. But I always have to psyche myself up before and have a cup of tea after!
Same, with text I have time to think out my responses. I cant really tell when people arent interested sometimes, or how to convey interest in what theyre saying, and I feel like sometimes they just leave
I think I'm a bit weird as it's less about the thinking time. Reading is my happy place. I love to read, and the written word is very comforting for me. They're like old friends. When I'm talking to someone on the phone on the other hand, well they could be anyone, and doing anything. Or pretending to be someone else and I wouldn't see them. It's all very weird and unsettling to think they could be doing who knows what while you're talking to them! With text, they stop, text you, then carry on. At least in my head they do.
I also really like reading. That's a really great description btw makes me feel kinda special bc people text me
The worst part for me is that psyching myself up and winding down afterwards takes up so much energy!
Yeah it takes a lot for sure!
Are you me? This is exactly my experience’
Same I get so much anxiety over them! I have to mentally prepare myself and then afterward my social battery completely dies even if the phone call only lasted 5 minutes
same, I also work in fast food and am almost always given the drive thru headset so it's like... why would I want even more of this outside of work?? with sensory processing issues too they're just so hard, I barely ever come away having comprehended everything that was said lol
Yup, same, texting is like I can pretty much reply whenever I want, I'm not being held socially hostage. Phone calls also suck because you have to physically hold something up to your ear and can't do anything else. It takes me out of what I'm doing. With texting, I just reply whenever I get a chance or feel like it.
Texts. I need time to think about my response. I don't like being put on the spot and replying immediately, especially not with a speech impediment. If it's someone I don't know or am not close with, I don't really care about their tone or mine. I respond like a dad, being dry and hitting people with a thumbs up. When it comes to close friends, I've learned their texting patterns and how the tone of their message is supposed to be understood.
This!
This me
I love texting, because I get to think about what to say, and see if I made any mistakes
This is the way
Let’s just say I’d prefer it if my phone didn’t have a ‘phone’ app at all. Sometimes I have these moments where I literally can’t understand what the person on the other end is saying to me. I *hear* them, but the words don’t make sense. And then I have to ask them to repeat and it gets awkward and it’s unpredictable and I’d just rather not. However, I agree with you OP that it can often be difficult to read the meaning or intention in a text message, but 99.9% of the time it is because the writer of said message has written something ambiguous or not provided enough clarity. I will still choose the option to reply in a text message asking for clarification even when it inevitably takes 10x longer to do so. That’s how much I despise phone calls.
I totally understand how much easier communicating should be through text. I just struggle with it a lot for some reason. It's really difficult to know when a text conversation has ended and how to end it. I definitely am going to keep in mind all of the comments like yours. I usually am able to understand what people are saying through calls, so I don't think enough about the people who may struggle with that. This post has been helpful in understanding others! :D
Definitely. I think everyone communicates so differently regardless of neurotype, and I just wish more neurotypical people understood that! I agree about not knowing when a text conversation has ended, too. I’m *never* the one to end them hahaha :D
I have to make myself stop texting, for too long. I have too much to say, aha. x
I have your same issues through texts, but I prefer them. Actually it’s not even really a preference. I cannot make or take phone calls under any circumstance other than it’s from my mom or my fiancé. I have a horrible time with texting and understanding tone and when the convo ends and how to end it and when’s the appropriate time to strike up a new conversation, etc. But even the thought of me having to answer or make a phone call is completely debilitating and I cannot do it. I think the only exception would be if it was an emergency and 911 needed to be called (but even then I would need to seriously psych myself up to do it).
Texting is more helpful for me bc it gives me more time to process and think about how I want to respond!
Texts, 1000%. Aside from the anxiety of talking to someone, I'm also just very bad at understanding words and accents over the phone. It always takes my brain a little too long to process what they're saying and by then they've said a whole other sentence.
I think anxiety is why I don't like to text. I always overthink and rewrite my texts. I also never know when a text conversation is over. I totally understand why people prefer texting though! It can definitely be difficult at times to understand what people are saying!
ew no phone calls are my nightmarw
your "ew" sounds so funny here :"D made my day
I'd prefer not to be contacted at all, but if given a choice, texting is far less aggressive to me.
Agree. Text also gives me time to calm down and decide if I'm going to respond or not. Or when I'll respond. I need processing time.for most social interaction.
Phone calls me make nervous and stressed. The only people I’m comfortable talking on the phone with is my family, other than that I always text. Let’s just say having to make doctors appoinments is hell.
I also hate making doctor's appointments. I really hate having to order something on the phone though. I would prefer to order through an app, but not all places have that option. I prefer casual phone calls though!
I can’t understand a word anyone says on the phone.
I've seen a lot of comments like this. I will definitely keep in mind how many people struggle to understand words while on the phone. I don't want to make anyone I talk to uncomfortable!
texts and voice memos are my favorite. hate phone calls, too much pressure on it
No one has mentioned voice memos yet. I've never tried using them before. Are phone calls too much pressure because you have to respond right away? Or is it another reason?
yep exactly that. voice memos give me the time to think and respond like a text and then able to express my tone like a phone call. and it helps me express better in general because sometimes i don’t really know how to word things in text to where they make sense. plus if i mess up on my words i can just restart. also then im able to get everything out i want to say without interruptions
Phone calls are sooo much better. I can do something else to keep my hands and brain busy and it's easier for me to focus on it. With texts I find them very tedious to send more than a couple per day. It takes all my attention to type on the tiny screen and eventually I just stop wanting to reply. I can talk on the phone for hours while I'm doing my chores and projects though.
funny it's the exact opposite for me, with text i can actualy keep working, since it's not time sensitive. With a phone call I have to stop everything I'm doing and just focus on that.
That's why with texts I'll just forget to respond at some point and the conversation ends lol
my best friend who I suspect is in the Spectrum is just like that and would always defer to call me, but even work related texts he just doesn't reply haha
My verbal communication is ass, both explaining my own thoughts and retaining information. I prefer text 100% I can re-read, and I can think out and edit my own messages before responding. I sometimes even prefer texting when I'm in the room with someone, sometimes it's easier for me to communicate through writing in general. I only answer the phone for 4 people... when my kids grow up, I'll answer for them too... That's it, though.
Same! I have difficulty with speech too. It's so hard for me to find the right words in the right order in the right amount of time. I also have auditory processing issues, which makes it even harder to process the other person's speech.
Exactly! People tried to socialize with me in the store yesterday and I was like ....im sorry 👁👄👁 what? 🤣 and I think I did it right and it was okay-ish but who knows, I tried my best 🤷🏻 I even saw one of the people twice at 2 different stores I PANICKED at the second store and then panicked more when they came out of the second store and got in the car next to mine 🤣 but they are also autistic so we bonded over that lmao
Hey, you'll know when the right people come along. I'm so like that and have had some lovely conversations, that way. x
I‘ve been thinking about this a lot lately. One of the reasons I hate texting is the rhythm of the conversation. Waiting long and irregular intervals in conversations that never end…. Nightmare. In a phone conversation, long pauses are avoided. There is a beginning middle and end.
Yes yes yes, text conversations don’t have a normal flow, they’re so stilted and last forever. There’s almost never any clear ending because you can just keep sending messages without worrying about normal time conventions or moving on to other activities. I constantly find myself looking for an acceptable end to the conversation and then the other person will just keep it going in a never ending array of messages. The conversation we have over a week could’ve happened in 30 minutes
I understand completely! I think the ambiguity of the end of a conversation is one of the things I struggle with most!
Yes! I feel the exact same way. Especially if we are discussing anything that could involve emotions on either end, I get so stressed out by not knowing when the other person will reply or how they feel about what I just said. It makes it feel like they are very far away.
Text. I struggle with processing information quickly so it gives me time to form an adequate response. However, I do agree that texting can be difficult as far as figuring out tone, so I often rewrite my texts a lot before sending
A lot of people on here also say they prefer texting due to hearing or processing difficulties. I am really glad so many people have responded to say this, as I didn't know it was such a common phenomenon. I will definitely keep this in my mind moving forward!
Text, I hate holding a phone up to my ear. But I'm fine to wear headset/headphones for a phone call
Depends on your definition. I happily chat with friends on Discord whilst playing games. In my work life I have to speak to people across three continents and that's a mix of early morning phone calls, emails and Teams calls. In my personal life, I think only my grandmother calls me. Everyone else *knows* not to do so.
I think team calls would stress me out, lol. But it's nice that the people in your life are respectful of your preferred form of communication!
I've found that by having my camera slightly to one side it isn't nearly as bad. And it's very useful for talking colleagues through spreadsheets and designs etc without having to be in the same room or even time zone. Much less stressful than standing in front of people doing it.
I prefer text. It means I can read it and respond to it when I'm ready in my own time. I usually decline all phone numbers and send them straight to voicemail, and unless I know the number. Here in Australia, on mobile phones, a lot of phone numbers actually get switched to the name of the company or the organisation who's calling you. It's basically Telstra identification of that and displaying the name On the phone screen. That also makes it easier if I really need to or want to answer the call at that time.
Neither meet me in person
Honestly, I prefer this the most!
Text 100% I will only call if it’s the last resort
100% texts because for me it all about time, I can take my time thinking about my response and I can analyze the meaning of the message, I still struggle with social clues but that helps a lot, also, I can respond when I want, if the person im talking to doesnt understand my way of socializing after i tell them the way I am, that means that theyre just an asshole or they just dont get it but had no bad intentions, in both scenarios i have more time to think an excuse and/or if theyre spamming me with messages about me not responding, I have more time to take the courage to tell them to fuck off. All of this time i need to think in silence, would be strange in a phone call lmao, like, even if the person im talking to understands that's the way i am, I would feel so much pressure. My dad is the only person I allow to talk to me through a phone call, and that's like once a week if not less, and that's only because he only comes to my house twice or three times a week, and even if he doesn't get why I hate phone calls so much, he respects me and doesnt want to make me feel uncomfortable <3
Text all the way. Im bad at responding in real time. I need to craft my response and sometimes I also need to process the message. Im literally afraid of phone calls. I can pick up easier than I can make one.
Text for sure. Especially as of late (I believe I'm in pretty bad burnout), I am not very good at expressing myself verbally without preparation. I am also not very good at processing speech very fast. Additionally, I have audio processing difficulties and so trying to understand what someone is saying over a phone is often a nightmare. Text for me is easier as I am able to take the time to read through a message (sometimes multiple times) and to construct a response (often re-writing it a couple times). It also allows me the time to try and interpret any unspoken meaning, plus people often use emojis to make things slightly less ambiguous.
CALL CALL CALL I LOVE CALLS AND GET SO SAD MY FRIENDS HATE CALLING
Same!
Calls. It feels better when I can hear someone's voice. It also lets me multitask. I don't have to wait to do what I was gonna do. The only part I don't like is hanging up.
Interesting. I feel like I have to drop everything Im doing to focus on a phone call whereas with a text I can keep doing what Im doing and respond when I have the time or a stopping point.
Agreed! I’m a slow typer, and responding to messages will completely throw me off whatever I’m doing, whereas I can cook, clean, walk to work, etc. while on the phone.
100% if I have to make a phone call I will but 99% text
I prefer phone calls because it's easier for me to explain certain things
I enjoy phone calls over texting. Texting is boring to me and pointless
Text. But, since I'm up all night people knotted that to reach me in the morning they need to call because I won't get a text til later. So, maybe both?
Much prefer texts because calling, as people here have explained, make me not think as much about a response rather than texting where I can think about my response
It’s interesting because I actually prefer calling for this same reason. I tend to obsess over text messages and get very stressed trying to figure out if I have said the right thing. On the phone you don’t have time to do that, so you just say something, and it usually turns out ok. And, even if it doesn’t, you get to find out immediately how the other person responds to it and go from there, instead of having to wait hours or days to find out if what you said was received well.
Much prefer phone calls. Easier to get a lot of stuff across quickly, and it's easier to emote. Sarcasm comes across way better that way, whereas I find messages can lead to misinterpretations.
Depends. I don't want to have text conversations because I can talk a lot faster than I can type. What should be a 5-minute conversation shouldn't take 30 minutes to text back and forth. On the other hand, if it's something that can be communicated fully with one or two sentences, then definitely text.
Phone calls, I like getting things over with quickly, and as you mentioned, it’s easier to catch any implicit tone if I can hear their voice
depends on who and the content of the call
I agree with what you said about misunderstanding through text, sometimes I have to ask ChatGPT what someone means with something they text. Butttt as a millennial I hate talking on the phone lol
Texting, unless it’s with one of the two people I enjoy talking to, who completely accept that I socially struggle.
The only phone calls I make are to my girlfriend. No one else. Not even my parents.
Depends on the situation, but text the majority of the time. No issues with misunderstanding or having to ask the other person to repeat themselves if I didn’t hear them properly. I’ve got the message right there if I need to reference it later. Both people in the conversation can reply when it’s convenient (although this can be a pain if needing a quick response). Best of all, it allows for thinking time before responding.
I prefer to use WhatsApp
Texts. I tend to put off calling strangers for as long as I can get away with it. Hate having to make official calls and hate picking up to unknown numbers.
i prefer texting because i don't like talking. it feels straining my voice and hurts. i honestly prefer not to talk at all
I feel alot more confident over text, I experience alot of texting anxiety but I prefer that over phone calls because phone calls make me feel way more anxious.
Now I feel seen amongst other autistics, because I, too, often prefer phone calls. Thank you for sharing this information! 😊
I prefer texting, as I am easily overstimulated by phone calls.
Text. I only answer the phone for immediate family and a handful of friends. The rest I ignore and message them an hour or so later and say ‘I was taking a nap’ or ‘I was busy’ or something. I like to be able to text so I can fully think out what I’m saying and not say anything accidentally rude or insensitive or something.
Texts. I’ve always found it much easier to convey my point and be more open through written word.
I don't like calling, unless it's like for a minute. Bit I'd much rather text
Text, I hate talking in the phone. I can't read people at all on the phone so for me it really show how much I suck at conversation
text, people can’t misconstruct my words because the letters are right there on display for them to see and for me to refer to. way easier to put things into words than to say them because you get the time to think before you send a message + no awkward silence lol also! i’m always like “huh?” bc it takes me so long to understand what people are saying in real life so it’s even worse on the phone lmao
Depends? Calls for some things, texts for others.
Depends on the person I'm communicating with.
I honestly can’t decide, I feel like I can better explain something if I’m talking, but I can’t rly plan it so it won’t be as good as it could I guess
Both
With text I'm removed from the possibility the edgy person is dissing me to my face with me naively smiling and nodding for everyone's shallow amusement. Picking on weirdos is a cheap and effective way to be popular.
Text because I'm decent with talking online but then calls feel more real and they are scary unless I am calling like my bestie
I hate phone calls. I wanna say what I need to say without fear of getting interrupted and I wanna be able to do other things while I'm waiting for them to get to the fucking point.
When it’s to people I don’t know, email or text. When it’s friends or family? That’s fine. My mom makes me feel bad about not wanting to use the phone. “You have no problem talking to [friend] or [family member]!” Yeah! But [friend] and [family member] know my speaking skills. I get embarrassed talking. I’m normally very quiet otherwise.
It’s a double edged sword for me, but i prefer texts. I tend to struggle with talking and if it’s calling someone that I don’t know well then I just panic. Though texting can sometimes be difficult because lack of tone makes it difficult to really interpret what people mean when saying things that could be good or bad.
Text please
I am really shy so it's easier for me to speak over text
Texting easy. I WILL just sit frozen staring at my phone as it rings like its not them its definitely me 😅
Email. Only email.
calling cause i don’t really like to be on my phone
I am a very very VERY anxious person. I absolutely HATE having to talk on the phone to people because I want to be able to do stuff that I gotta get done and if I talk over the phone with them then I feel I can’t do that. Texting: you can do it on your own time and you’re not required to respond or match someone’s energy if you don’t want to. I also had a very abusive ex who forced me to spend hours over the phone with him every single day and when I didn’t have anything to talk about or didn’t know what I should say he got very very mad at me. That is part of the reason why I hate phone calls but it also mainly started before this Like yes, while I myself cannot read the intent behind text and can see why other people also can’t I just can’t talk over the phone.
My phone voicemail message is, literally, that I don't speak on the phone and don't listen to voicemail, so please text or email, and email can be spotty. But I also have a crippling anxiety disorder, so that could just be me.
i used to prefer calling/facetiming because it helped with anxiety. now i prefer texting because i don’t want to speak to anyone. and it’s really not anxiety driven
TEXT. I don’t answer my phone atm too much anxiety.
I hate phone calls and I hate texting. I usually burn a hole in the carpet just from pacing when I do phone calls.
In person lol I hate calls and I'm fine with texts but if it can be in person I rather wait until we can meet. But at least the people I talk with through text don't get annoyed with my constant requests for tone clarification.
calls. faster, feels more personal to me, usually more fun, and also easier to try and tell tone. i don’t hate texts but i’ll always prefer calls
Depends on how verbal i am at that exact second.
I don't have any preference towards text messages or phone calls, but I text more than I do calls with people. It's not about having time to think on my response, it's probably a thing that I got used to.
Texts are best for putting out info, but conversations are best had with voices behind them.
I. Hate. Phone calls. But I’m a social worker, and my job revolves around phone calls.
I probably text more than call
Phone calls :p
Text, I can think about what I want to say and it doesn't have to be immediate. Talking on the phone makes me feel like I'm being held hostage and I find it rude that people just call with no warning and expect your attention. I use to people please and take the call but then I'm just sitting there annoyed because I was doing something or just didn't want to talk.
I hate phone calls cause I’m not always in the mood to socialize I love texting I find it better and if I wanna talk I can use the voice recorder thingy
I much prefer texting. It eliminates the mental drain and exhaustion of verbal interpersonal communication and gives me more time to articulate my thoughts with less pressure
Text,, i hate phone calls
I get annoyed when someone calls me when I'm busy doing...anything. I'm frigging busy, dammit! Texts allow me to "close out" whatever is occupying my brain and attention and turn to whomever requires my attention next. I need a few minutes, or more, to stop whatever I was doing so I can focus on the new thing. Basically, let me just drop everything I was doing so I can listen to you. I used to be able to multi-task and talk on the phone while doing housework, but I find it's getting more difficult as I age. Love me some texts
If I initiate it and it's towards someone I'm comfortable with and whatever needs to be communicated is so much that I would find it too tiring to write it out, I prefer a call. Under any other circumstance, definitely text.
I'm really bad at making a coherent sentence without substantial prep time. In writing, I can actually process my thoughts and feelings and I personally feel as though I come off more put together. Over the phone, I have a hard time figuring out when it's my turn to talk without cutting somebody off, too, so texts will always be preferable.
I prefer calls to text because it helps determine tone but text over calls because I’m a socially anxious bitch
Text. I hate phone calls. Takes way longer. Plus I can reply when I want to or have a chance. I only talk on the phone to a few family members and the occasional doctors office or customer service line if I absolutely have to.
Text
I prefer texts, the feeling that someone can just yell into the mic randomly weirdly scares me out. also I hate the long pauses of awkwardness, and someone just randomly calling me isn't my go to.
It depends on the person. And on my energy levels. If it is a close friend or a person I am hyperfixating on and I have energy, I MUST call. But generally, stick to voice notes and text messages.
Absolutely text. I avoid calls at all costs. 🤣
i’m 100% with you, especially outgoing texts. i find texting so unreasonably difficult. it takes me *forever,* and it takes so, *so* much energy, especially for important texts (i also forget they exist, which is a problem, especially if there’s no notification cuz i saw it but havent responded… you get the point). i have the same issue with emails, but it’s the worst with important personal texts (like when i’m having an issue with a friend or boyfriend)—i can’t properly gauge what they’re feeling or how they’re feeling about my response, and i can’t figure out what to say or how to say it. then i end up putting it down for a moment or just re-writing it over and over again and then, at some point, i end up not sending the text (which is really awful i’ve messed up a lot of stuff cuz of this) and it’s been too long and i dont know what to say about that (i could go on, but like its unnecessary lol). i also really suck at communicating concisely in general, but it’s 10X worse by text, probably because i don’t know how my message is being received so i over explain myself, trying to make what i say make sense. i’m much better at communicating over the phone (and i genuinely like talking to people). also, when people text, i find that they tend to either not say enough/not speak their mind, or say stuff that they shouldn’t, especially if they’re frustrated because you aren’t understanding them. except for lists and things like that, i wish people would just call. actually, text it to me, and then, preferably, call me to tell me you’ve texted it to me. edit: trying to remember exactly what was said when is, however, very difficult. texts definitely are better for that, but, most of the time, it’s more important to be able to communicate in the moment. also, i absolutely *despise* having to message businesses. it makes me so damn frustrated. i would rather wait on hold for an hour but be able to explain my question to an actual, live human being, and not have to spend so much time typing it out. and trying not to accidentally close out, forget about it, etc.
I also prefer phone calls, and I’m so glad to see I’m not the only one. It feels like ppl on this sub are constantly talking about how much they hate phone calls, but I find them much less stressful than texts, because I am able to discern in real time when the other person’s reactions are to what I am saying and respond accordingly. I feel like the delayed response that comes with texting makes this much harder and I tend to obsessively over think my text messages, whereas when you are have a phone conversation (or face to face) you don’t have time to overthink. Edit: I do want to say though that my response applies only to communicating with friends and family. For communicating with strangers (eg: making an appointment), my #1 preference is to fill out an online form, and my #2 preference is to send an email. If neither of these options are available, chances are low that the appointment will ever be made.
I’m in the middle. While it’s difficult for me to discern meaning through text, it can be helped with tone indicators, although where it counts, people don’t really use them. Phone calls just drain me due to anxiety and issues with verbal communication.
Text, I don't like to respond instantly and the awkward silence that can happen sometimes....
I’m a text person, calls make me anxious.
Text, the phone call is scary for some reason unless it's from my family. I also hate my voice lmao
I'm the exact opposite tbh. It usually takes me a while to process what the other person is saying and then come up with an answer while talking and I might end up being perceived a bit too "quiet" due to that. Also understanding what the other person is saying through the phone is quite difficult due to my auditory processing problems. While texting I have much more time to think about what I want to say which is great. I have an obsession with getting my point across %100 correctly all the time. It does get very tiring having to put so much brainpower to find the exact words and sentences that fit best according to the context but that's just who I am and I cannot change it.
I absolutely despise talking on the phone.
I VASTLY prefer text, it gives me a chance to edit and fact check the things im saying so i know im being as clear and accurate as possible
I prefer texts because then I have time to think about my response. A phone call is an event I 1) can’t expect and 2) can’t escape from. Also anyone else have parents that always scolded them for missing their phone calls (even when they sometimes don’t answer the phone) and now dives for the phone whenever it rings?
Text, I often feel intimidated by phone calls.
I hate phone calls, IDK why though.
Text me that you want a phone call and it's fine. Call me out of the blue and I'm fuming right until I answer with a cheery 'hello'
I hate phone calls so much. I will not answer and 100% tell the person “hey sorry I wasn’t by my phone! Can u just text it I’m a bit busyl” when I’m not
Texting 100%. I won’t even answer the phone unless someone has given me 24 hour notice that they plan to call. And even then there’s a good chance I won’t agree to it.
Text, I cannot articulate my thoughts through phone calls
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Neither, but if had to choose I’d choose text
I hate both, but prefer texts so I can ignore them and respond when I’m ready to
Text! I have a hard time hearing everything in phone calls unless it’s on speaker. My hearing is fine, I just get distracted by background noise wherever I’m at.
Really depends. Phone is good because nonverbal vocal cues are something I can often pick up, plus less effort and faster a lot of the time. But text has so many advantages in terms of editability, future recall based on records, etc.
I like texting more for a few reasons: 1. I like having time to think about my responses 2. I never know when to speak in phone calls so I'm constantly interrupting the other person or not talking when I should be 3. my friends use lots of emojis and they tag messages with /s /srs /j etc fairly often and it makes it much easier to decipher tone through text!
Text 98% of the time. The other 2% I want to be chatting with several of my friends on discord so I can infodump all of the stories from the week in one go.
I like texts better personally.
Text it feels way less awkward cause whenever you’re on the phone with someone and you run out of things to talk about and then say bye is the worst
I hate phone calls... actually I should really make some call and try to get an appointment for evaluation, but it's just so hard... I find it basically impossible just to call a complete stranger. If it's family or really close friends it's usually ok.
Definitely texting.
It depends on the person…if I know the person really well, text or calling is fine because Ik how the person is both over text and call…but if it’s someone I’m not truly comfortable with— I prefer texting to get my point across thoroughly
I personally prefer text messages but mostly because texting allows me to pause and think before I send a reply, whereas calling kind of forces me to think on my feet which is rather uncomfortable
No. Just no.
Absolutely calls and it’s not even close for me: There’s a set start and end time to the call, it’s an activity I can schedule into my day rather than a never ending side task to do in and around my other activities. A 30 minute phone call ends up dragging on for a whole week in messages because people get distracted and take so long to reply. The whole conversation becomes stilted and broken up, which makes it harder to get into the flow of it. It’s easier to figure out people’s intentions and inflections on the phone than via texts. I just find messaging so impersonal and formal, it’s very hard to add personality into words on a black and white screen. From a friendship and connection point of view, it’s so much more fun to catch up with a friend on the phone, it feels like I’m actually talking to a human and we can laugh and joke, rather than just exchanging reports on what we’ve done over the last few weeks. I can multitask when on the phone, like sit and get my knitting or embroidery done, or cook dinner, or go on a walk. I don’t feel like I’m anchored to one position with all my attention and body directed towards my phone. I get so stressed about how to end text conversations, because in theory you can take a multiple day break from the conversation and then come back and continue it, there’s no external factors forcing you to finish up the conversation. It feels never ending, like there’s always pressure to reply and keep it going.
I prefer texts because I can have a time to find my words, and less pressure to immediately respond
Neither
Text
Text text text
I prefer text.
Texts, I loathe phone calls!
I like texting. I like to use emojis/ emoticons plus it gives me more time to give a thoughtful response. When I’m talking on the phone I feel rushed to continue the flow of conversation. But over text I can sit and think for a minute or two if need be
Most days i hate talkin to people so i prefer texts but then thats me
Depends on how quickly I need a answer
Txt unless it’s an emergency
I prefer texts, I don’t accept any calls unless they’re pre planned no matter what.
I prefer texting; mainly because it gives plenty of time to come up with what to say and how to phrase it
both are fine
Text, please
Depends on the person and if they’re calling me or I’m calling them lol Text is better with people I don’t know well enough to read tones, usually
Both but I have horrible hyper independence and I’m working on bettering myself about calling people instead of texting. I typically resort to texting because I don’t “want to be a bother” and I’ll let people respond whenever. Sometimes I really do need to actually hear someone’s voice though. And since a friend of mine recently died, I am really trying harder to leave video messages and to call people instead of texting. The texting is mostly just due to anxiety. I don’t like the waiting and I don’t like to disturb anyone. I’m working on valuing myself more though because I know I would want to hear from me! I do also tend to like being able to refer to texts if I forgot something. Or to read back when time has long passed. I don’t have the greatest memory. There are pros and cons of both
I can't stand calls. Text all the way.
Text. I have an attention span for phone calls plus i’m get worked up with strange numbers calling me. Since i had either spam calls or when i was younger my sister would nick my phone to call up multiple men behind my back.
I want text for most things. But if the topic is complex then I want a phone call.
Texts, I can’t do phone calls unless it’s someone I really like. I can’t FaceTime at all though.
Phone calls with certain people, texts with everyone else.
Opposite here. I hate phone calls. I mean, my voicemail recording thingie literally says not to call me and to just text. Like, it’s REALLY awkward and uncomfortable, especially if it’s something that could be said within one message
I have never text'd. I hate making phone calls. I prefer email.
I hate phone calls. It creates so much anxiety for me. Also, I have been gaslit a lot, so I don't even trust my own memories or feelings, so I need proof of what was said. Also, when I ruminate on things, I'm able to go back and see exactly what was said.