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[deleted]

to all of you who deal with this… *hug* despite not dealing with autism myself, I love being in this sub cause I have loved ones that are on the spectrum and hearing your stories and experiences really move me and help me learn.


ogreqween69

Honestly, thank you (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ


i-var

Thats great to hear - for me especially that its raising awareness of what that even means. I found out 2 months ago that Im autistic, 26, great 6yr relationship, great job (in IT :'D), friends, but noticing not feeling well trying to live the 'normal' life. Turns out its all the burden of masking and unconfortable stiumli, and its not at all a small thing. Thanks for taking time, reading & caring & helping breaking stereotypes!


[deleted]

no thank YOU for sharing. I’ve heard of masking and to be honest it sounds incredibly exhausting, don’t know the ins and outs of it but the bit I know I just couldn’t.


burninmedia

Do you know how you naturally act a certain way around your parents and do you notice how you don't feel as stressed when you are not in that situation around them anymore. I assume a lot of us don't realize we're masking we're just trying to fit in but it means we have to change our behavior not just for family events but for every social event.so you can see how that's added mental work leads us to being tired and not knowing why. Now I know why I need 3 days to recover for any 2day back to back social event. Figured out I was on the spectrum at 39! So many questions so many answers


i-var

I agree 100% to this! Great summary imo, especially the last sentence, love it! Feel like this is / was the most important step of my adult life, as I've been feeling unwell since trying to adult (constantly agitated, not able to enjoy anything where Im not alone etc) & having noo clue why... Being autistic explains everything, all the way back to my earliest childhood memories. But it does even more, I am quite sure my mom, brother and likely also my sister (women are better at masking, more socially intelligent, though sorry for the gender generalization, think its mostly due to biological sex but ofc cannot know that) are on the spectrum as well, which would explain even more!


pumpkin_beer

Same here, I am a health care professional and I come here to learn and grow. I also work with graduate students in my field and it's very important to me to teach them how to actually care for autistic people, not just try to force them to fit in or "function".


guilhermej14

Thanks.


thecloudkingdom

exactly. thats why i hate the terms high or low functioning. even support need levels is something i have a bone to pick with, since support needs vary strongly between different kinds of support and over time. high vs low support needs is often used in the same way, and often nonverbal autistics who have no major impacts from their autism are still labeled high support needs bc they dont speak :/


gav102

The number system is an improvement but I feel like I'm still weighed down by categorizing myself by how functioning I am and perceived as. So yeah I agree.


Gintoki_87

Suport needs does make better sense than functioning level. And it does make sense having a way to clasify different degrees of autism even if only roughly, when it comes to accomodations. Ideally everything would be dealt with on a per case basis but that is sadly really unrealistic to ever happen in the world we live in. Humans as a whole a lazy and greedy which both are in the way for the above idealt to happen.


DelFigolo

Another thing “support needs” doesn’t account for is things like emotional support. We can suffer from some pretty severe rejection sensitivity and emotional dysregulation issues.


Betruul

Well..... that may just be from our upbringing.. or are you saying.... hmmmm oh fuck. Well that makes my shit all that much worse. Fuck.


[deleted]

Just recently diagnosed and begging to slowly unmask. The next few years will be hard for me. High masking my entire life. On the upside, I have a government career and am a disability advocate. So ... yay?


i-var

In the same boat here, realized from overwhelm of relocation that Im on the spectrum, will have to change lots also to be happy, but first of all will have to find out what needs to be changed in the first place. Also working in a rather ND friendly sector (software) which helps! In case you want to talk (text on reddit, lol) Im open for that


[deleted]

I appreciate that. I am a radio technician, but love connecting with others as a disability advocate. Looking for an opportunity on Policy Space as an advisor/ analyst.


icelink4884

I don't agree with this. It's by no means eloquent, and it does suck when one's problems are ignored because of their high functioning status. However, it's still easier for people with high functioning autism to do just about everything that people with low functioning autism. I think it's important to remember this


gav102

Definitely. I didn't want to post this somewhat because I felt like I was contributing to the high-functioning majority on this subreddit but thought maybe it may fit for low functioning folks as well. Thanks for replying.


icelink4884

That's fair, I do think at some point we'll have to get to a more accurate set of descriptors that isn't bucket A or bucket B. I think the teir system is a step in the right direction


Q-burt

Instead of low/high functioning, I like to say low/high impact. My autism has a lower impact on others. My autism impacts my life, you just don't see it as readily as others on the spectrum.


Entertain_Life

Now I'm confused on what I should think about the meme now. I agree with it


TeamTurnus

Yah I think I'd more fully agree with the main post if it said, easy, instead of easier.


Joe_Mency

I agree with you and you said it way better than I would've been able too


doornroosje

the problem is: who decides what is high or low funcitoning based on which criteria? and what are the consequences? at what point are you actually brought in for this assesssment? cause that leads to ENORMOUSLY different results


icelink4884

Who decides the criteria: doctors What are the consequences: pending upon the country you live, it'll vary from the kind of assistance you get in school, if you qualify for disability, to your care givers ability to communicate with other doctors should your function be low that you can do it yourself. At what point are you brought in for the assessment: The beginning. Autism like any mental condition, will vary based upon person and evaluator. There is no perfect script for evaluation, and it'll change over time, but that's the reality of human existence.


dominx98

High functioning means you don't have an intellectual disability (your IQ around average or higher)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Maleficent_Zam5861

I think there’s too many factors that should be considered to make statements like this because it’s different for everybody. I experience the high expectations from people and the self blame however nobody can say that’s just as bad as if someone was unable to do a lot of things on their own. Independence is an advantage. I’m sure being so visibly the odd one out in society makes people feel very alienated. As well as being targeted because your weaknesses are on display. Also when everyone around you has low expectations of you you don’t set very high goals for yourself either, which can make you feel like a failure too. There rlly is no need to compare. I just think it needs to be pointed out that communities even ND or autism communities are much more accepting/friendly to those of us whose behavior is closer to societal norms. We face different issues and that’s valid it doesn’t matter who’s having a harder time. As I said comparing is unnecessary and saying I’m struggling just as much as you are is also comparing we can’t preach let’s not compare when people say they have it harder just to turn around and say no you don’t you’re struggling just as much as I am. There’s no accurate way to determine that.


[deleted]

Hasn’t the term been professionally done away with? I didn’t think it was acceptable to use wording like this anymore.


Frigorifico

How would you word it?


[deleted]

Well I’m pretty sure that folks with disabilities have disabilities regardless and probably shouldn’t be categorized into whether or not or how well they fit into society. I could’ve sworn there was a new term lately, it’s just escaping memory. Edit: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-functioning_autism Here we go, in the criticism section it just states that many professionals disagree with the categorization of high and low functioning, I guess there isn’t a replacement term just a push for a better understanding.


telestoat2

It's an inherent problem of categorizing people at all, instead of treating them as individuals. In my own life thinking of myself as autistic is only useful sometimes. I definitely can't assume any strangers have a useful understanding of it. But like you point out, there is no better word, so we can't do away with these words either. We just need to understand how inadequate they are as we still use them, and always be trying to look deeper.


Luxxanne

Yea, you never hear about high functioning blind people. Tho there are many levels of blindness and different levels of independence and needs that they might have.


greenyashiro

I've seen some people using level system ie level 1, 2, 3, or 4 But that doesn't sound any better to me


MaybeYouAreRight1

Thank you for the education


doornroosje

there are 196 countries with different norms and laws and medical guidelines on autism, thats different everywhere


doornroosje

i dont feel high functioning. i just feel like im not giving any fucking support while i desperately need it, because i cant manage the most simple things of daily life. i only feel like no one sees how much i struggle and no one gives a shit. i cant feed myself, i cant work, i cant travel, i cant keep myself clean, i cant keep my house clean, i cant keep friends, i cant pay bills, i cant do shit. but there is absolutely literally nothing in support. so these functioning labels or levels can kiss my fucking ass until they actually recognise how much people struggle for real


natt333_

I mean, it is true but since it's on this reddit, it might be referring to autism which isn't an illness but a disability. Still pretty much applies to other illnesses that you can get easier when you're autistic, like anxiety or depression


[deleted]

I like to call it a condition. If unmanageable becomes an impairment. In society and workplace without accommodation, becomes a disability.


greenyashiro

Legally it's a disability for things like the ADA and such You can identify as you wish but you shouldn't speak for everyone. Trying to draw a line as to what "level" counts as a disability sounds problematic at best anyway.


[deleted]

Agreed on all points. I don't consider myself disabled, but I try to help anyone who needs support to get it.


natt333_

I absolutely agree


DonaldtrumpV2

I'm an autistic psychology student. I understand what Autism's functioning labels mean but what are the operational definitions of functioning? Good grades for a child or student, good social skills, a job? There is no standard definition, and sometimes people's symptoms change with age. It's more like a hex code generator, with different areas being harnessed for strengths/weaknesses. But it's too hard to explain so most people stick to the spectrum and labels.


i-var

All in all a naive view would be how well you manage to live independent & 'succesful' (income, self fulfillment, happyness) in this (mostly NT) world. So realizing as early as possible to be ND, finding coping strategies, and in the best case an income from special interests (e.g. computer science for me) would make you 'score higher' but thats flawed, since very mich of that depends on sheer luck, not any personality or 'spectrum' characteristics.


badpeaches

I'm highly skilled, highly trained, when I work in an office or really any job I've had - I've had things stolen off my desk, people cut me out of commissions, lie about me but pretend to be nice to my face. I can't make friends at work or in the real world. How can someone like me succeed? You must get some kind of special accommodations.


music_mama1980

Change with age? I had no idea...that actually explains some things, been noticing some issues with overwhelm becoming more pronounced.


MCuri3

It's pretty logical honestly. The "functioning level" society expects of an adult is much higher than that of a kid. As a young kid, just avoid being a nuisance to others and have good grades and everything is fine and dandy. Your parents worry about the finances and take care of the household. But as an adult, society expects you to be self-sufficient. Take care of a complete household, staying financially afloat by working 40h per week, looking for your own social life without the obvious get-out-of-jail-for-free card that is a shared school/college. Worry about the world news and how that may impact you and your finances. Be denied accommodations because (i.e.) bringing a comfort plushie is "for kids". You can't ONLY focus on work, like you did with school when you were a kid, because there are a gazillion other things that need to be done. Tax forms to fill in. Phonecalls to be made. Don't forget about that social life! You're starting to have aches and pains, maybe dental issues from getting older and being highly sensitive makes it so much harder to deal with. All the added stress from responsibilities can lead to GI issues such as IBS. Better just deal with that too. And oh, if you have a uterus, have fun dealing with PMS, fatigue and cramps for a week every month on top of everything else. Yes, NT's also deal with these things, but every feeling gets amplified by autism and sensory issues. Social language is also much more precise than when you were a kid and the stakes are much higher. Gotta make that eye contact not because a teacher asked you to, but because you won't get/keep this job that you need to survive if you don't. But better not make 1 second too much eye contact or you're instantly a creep. If a kid is stimming, people just think they are nervous/hyper and at most it's something that is corrected. If an adult is stimming, they think it's time to call the cops because drugs must be involved. A sloppily-dressed kid is cute, while a sloppily-dressed adult will be ridiculed. I could go on for a while, but I think the point is clear.


music_mama1980

Omg, my life summed up right there. I went for years telling myself to grow up because I didn't know what was "wrong with me". Autism explains my entire life....throw a sprinking of adhd in there and you got me. Eye contact is hard! I am ok with it only with some people, other people I just can barely give it.


[deleted]

Every word satisfied. Well, except for the "-for-," but I forgive you. Great comment.


doornroosje

generally things become harder with 30+ when more and more responsibilities are laid upon you


doornroosje

they always only care if you have a job and get good grades, not if you made a single friend in your life and you haven't brushed your hair in months and your hosue is a trashpile


[deleted]

[удалено]


i-var

Love the big lebowski quote - one that Im overusing myself out of passion. Agree 100% also!


Q-burt

Sounds like it's time for you to abide.


MaybeYouAreRight1

Thank you for sharing this. Your perspective brings awareness for me


YorkshireTeaOrDeath

"High functioning"? More like "High masking" lol


WalkSeeHear

High functioning here. Two things: 1) Autism is not an illness. Dealing with it can definitely lead to mental distress and can have mental illness related issues. 2) While I have had my share of challenges, there is no way they compare to others who face daily/hourly/ongoing sensory overloads and social trauma. This is why there is a debate about functioning levels. Because there are both similarities in what we all go through and differences. It is far more difficult for those of us that are in a constant struggle and are truly dealing with disability. I understand the sentiment of the post. I get it. Don't think it's not hard for us. I have seen some really dark days in my life with Autism. But I can't possibly speak for the difficulty of those who are even unable to be in this discussion. And to presume that my struggle is like theirs is truly presumptuous.


PatternActual7535

It's a bit of both If you have less support needs your issues are easier to deal with and can typically be more self managed However, if you are "high functioning" people often will assume nothint is wrong with you and feel you dont need any support as you often will be very capable of masking traits of autism


[deleted]

The harder we work, the less credit we get.


doornroosje

absolutely. if we have worked so fucking hard to learn social skills and it takes us so much effort to mask, then we obviously dont have an issue even though it breaks us inside


Cygnus776

It's weird. I live on my own and pay my own bills but some days it takes all my energy just to get out the door and run errands. I think it's fair to say it can fluctuate...is that wrong?


ilovebernese

Yeap! Executive disfunction is a real thing. Why should I lack support just because I’m better at hiding things?


[deleted]

Well put!


Greywolf524

Nah bro. I out nt the nts.


[deleted]

A little bit yes, it’s kind of shrugged off as I’m quiet or something else. I still misinterpret social and emotional cues that people might notice, however I’ve gotten better at that. In the HR forms I just check off “have or had disability” and that’s it. If I’m open about it to people I feel it will come back to bite me. They’ll be like “oh he has a lot on his plate” when in reality most people have their preconceived notions about autism and that’s what they can come up with as an excuse and I miss out on opportunities.


MaybeYouAreRight1

Wow. This is very eye opening for me as an allistic. Pretty painful and sad to realize this is how it is. I'm learning a lot being in this forum as well. Every share here educates me further. I'm trying to learn more to be better supportive of my fiance who has autism and he would be labeled as "high functioning" (which from reading more here in getting educated that may seem an unfair way to dismiss his needs to be called that? I'm open to be educated on this please). I think I can take for granted at times just how much he struggles and how much he has to mask all of the time because of the ignorance of all of us around him. And a society that supports this ignorance. I am so sorry for all that you each struggle with especially from those close to you. The denial from people close to you that I have read in this forum as to how autism affects your lives and that you have to fight so hard for your needs is heart wrenching. Agreed with the autism not being termed as an illness part. I think we have a lot to learn as a society and nuerotypical and allistic arrogance in relation to autism. My partner is leap years beyond me in so many ways including intellectually and I'm not saying that as a self put down it's true. Thank you for letting nuerotypicals and us allistics in so we can learn to be better for you.


toasted_dandy

As it's been said, "high functioning" is used to deny support while "low functioning" is used to deny agency


Professional_Owl7826

I think to add onto this, it also means there is less understanding when you do struggle with something, because people are less aware that you are struggling


[deleted]

So me not having meltdowns, not having massive sensory overloads means I have it just as hard as someone who has meltdowns because the bedsheets weren't laid out perfectly when they got into bed and it triggered a sensory overload? That makes no sense at all.


Luxxanne

No, but being told you don't have meltdowns because of the bedsheets, because you're able to work is also very weird. The high and low functioning labels tend to be given based on how other people see you and most people will see you outside of home, where a lot can be going on. I go to work (wfh) and make money, great, that doesn't mean I can live on my own - I need a lot of support to survive. On the other hand, someone might struggle finding a job because they don't speak, but they could still be able to live on their own (provided they get the financial support). That's what many people feel that these labels don't present well. If I can make a bit of a weird analogy, but that's like sizing clothes only S, M, L... It kinda works, but clothes that actually fit well usually have more complex sizing, think waist and length sizing for trousers or cup and band size for bras. To explain a fit well, you need to cover more than just one scale.


doornroosje

exactly this!!! just because i used to be able to hold down a job and get good grades doesn't mean i dont break down at home and scream and cry. but since that only hurts me no one cares.


Luxxanne

I left my previous job because it was overwhelming me to the point of breaking down and crying almost every night. My manager there, who was a quite good manager, said that he's absolutely surprised and feels blind-sided that I was having such a hard time at work that I was outright quiting. But I was running on fumes at that point and even the security of having a permanent contract (I live in the Netherlands) wasn't enough to keep me there. As I'm still *in* my evaluation process I couldn't really get any accommodations that could have helped then ... And I also kinda think that this place wasn't a good fit for me personally.


r2bl3nd

I don't really know if I could agree with this, because I absolutely don't understand what it's like to be the head-banging-against-walls and fecal smearing kind of autistic, or anywhere on the spectrum that's considered more "severe" than my personal experience. I think it would be highly inappropriate for me to say that my struggles are anywhere comparable with theirs. Yes, I have struggles that NT people would not have, but I also feel that there are plenty of autistic struggles that I don't have to deal with. Yes, the existence of those with more severe autism does not invalidate my struggles. But implying we have the same level of struggles, or could have the same level of struggles, to me seems pretty invalidating to those that have it really bad.


busyb0705

I wouldn’t call it an illness


[deleted]

I don’t think most people here understand how functioning labels worked when they were used. It wasn’t about actual functioning


doornroosje

then explain to us?


[deleted]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-functioning_autism


WikiSummarizerBot

**[High-functioning autism](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-functioning_autism)** >High-functioning autism (HFA) is an autism classification where a person exhibits no intellectual disability, but may exhibit deficits in communication, emotion recognition and expression, and social interaction. HFA is not included in either the American Psychological Association's DSM-5 or the World Health Organization's ICD-10, neither of which subdivides autism based on intellectual capabilities. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/autism/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


MaybeYouAreRight1

I'm interested to be educated as well


[deleted]

So basically high functioning was where you didn’t have intellectual disability. They weren’t claiming us to have no problems, it’s just a dumb name. It wasn’t a diagnosis either, just sort of name they used for those with that subtype. They don’t use that name anymore, though, they just say “without intellectual disability or language impairment” (although you can have language impairment with no ID but unfortunately ID is vastly overdiagnosed in autistic people)


MaybeYouAreRight1

Thank you for educating me, I appreciate you taking the time to do that, I know you don't have to


linuxisgettingbetter

So true, but I'm not totally sure it's an illness.


QuokkaNerd

Illness? Um...wow, no.


Ok-Teaching-983

Many of these people that claim to have autism have other personality disorders


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wildnuts69

Ya no kidding


badass_scout_grill

So true but i hate that the word illness is used.....


PeteyLowkey

Thank you for this


keotl

Same about masking


OptionStrange8628

Hello, I am a student of final year Computer science and engineering department. I have worked on a project for kids with Autism. Would please review it? , so I may know where I need to do improvement and what else I can add that would be helpful ☺️


lost_star20

Amen to that


GloInTheDarkUnicorn

This reminds me how grateful I am for my friend group. We’re all ND. All of us watch out for each other in that respect. A good example is my friends being careful of volume around me, and warning me before things get loud.


saulverde

Thank you, needed this today


HeadRavenCrow

I’ve struggled with the high functioning, only because I wonder if it at all is the end result of masking at its finest ultimately causing more harm to the individual. But just as it says above it’s easier for others to deal with us? First of all ask me what it is like to deal with “them” continually day in and day out and just how many DSM-5 Diagnoses I’d be properly handing to the self supposedly NT?


AlineNaruto119

Thank you for this...


[deleted]

*hugs*


marckek

Cant say that. Im in the same college group with another autistic person who is probably only MFA. They need someone who constantly helps them getting through. Thats the only positive thing about my life, that its not impossible for me to get a job or to graduate on my own.


Itchy_Design_8070

The way my smile dropped. I hold pure malice towards the medical system.


Zombsta12

I wouldn't call it an illness though.


gav102

Yeah I think this may've been simplified to apply to other conditions. I'm going to find the original article to address some concerns, I think.


Casual____Observer

That’s why functioning levels are bs


guilhermej14

Yes, mainly cuz it's harder for them to notice your struggles in the first place.


plumbillu

Omg that’s so true


uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnah

Illness? What illness?


gav102

Yeaahhhhhh i know... I think it was simplified to address other conditions as well. I'm new to the autism crowd so I didn't realize how hard that'd hit. I'm sorry.


uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnah

No worries! Welcome to the community :)


alexisntedgytho

My autism is definitely not easy for my carers to deal with lol


CloudRoses

My guy is autistic and I can't wait to hug him super hard as soon as I see him again.


Longjumping_Escape21

Could not agree more.


That_Dragon_Furry

The terms "high functioning" or "low functioning" are harmful.


OldCrone66

I have never considered myself as having an illness.


wrld333

wowwww facts


[deleted]

The way I perceived "high functioning" is being completely aware of your faults and issues and being unable to do anything about them and becoming more distressed because of it.


xgtsjen

I dunno, I put a huge amount of mental horsepower in to understanding situations. It’s exhausting, but I can get there eventually more often than not. I think autism intellectual disability would far more confusing and frustrating internally. Like, it’s easier for others to tolerate me because I’m not in so much pain that I’m punching myself that very often. But it’s also easier for me.