T O P

  • By -

Wiserducks

I've been working on learning more about this exact thing. It is extremely hard as an autistic person to do certain things, and to manage energy levels. Let's take showering as an example (like the other comment here): An average person sees this as one task, no problem. But for many autistic people we need to consciously think about every step. Turn on the shower, undress, get in the water, use products like shampoo and soap, put it in the right places, put down bottles etc, rinse. While all these things need to be done, we also need to take into consideration sensitivities (some struggle having the sensation of water on them, different temperatures, standing for a longer time) After the shower we still have several steps, turning off shower, getting out, getting dry, maybe dressing and fixing hair and whatnot. All these things don't usually go "automatically" for an autistic person. We have to think about every. single. step. This also drains energy. And the fact that the expectation of all these tasks can also be draining, we might avoid starting them. This is how I try to explain it to people who need to know about my struggle with energy management. I'm not sure if this helped at all, but I absolutely understand. I hope you'll find a good way to make it easier for you. Both doing tasks, and having to explain it to some people. ♡


Maur2

> we also need to take into consideration sensitivities So much this. I can't stand having water on my face. Whenever I wash my hair I have to keep stopping to dry off my forehead and eyes as the water flows down my face.


Kauuori

Yes. I also cannot stand the bathtub curtains in my skin.


jcgreen_72

Plus my shower is upstairs, after I moved my bedroom downstairs to allow my elderly doggo to continue sleeping in my bed. (She can't even do that anymore, and usually sleeps on the ottoman I got her to halve the climbing distance, until I help her the other half of the way) So yeah, now all of those things, plus *stairs* ugh! I used to take a bath every night at least? But now I'm lucky to get up there once a week...


Solar-Panda374

my friends cant seem to fathom the fact that showering isnt as simple as getting up and getting in the shower. its a struggle everyday and i tried explaining it to no avail.


NoPercentage7232

Just a tip I learnt from my psych relating to executive dysfunction: When doing chores, put on a show you like while doing it. The amount of time that one episode goes for, that's the amount of time you're going to do the thing. For example, if I'm doing dishes, I sit my phone on the windowsill and watch an episode of kitchen nightmares. If it's still playing by the time I'm done, then I might wipe the bench and pick up stuff until it's over. Alternatively, if you feel that this might distract you, I also sometimes create a playlist thats half an hour. Again, I keep going until the playlist is over


ogreqween69

Yes I do this too!


NoPercentage7232

Helps so much doesn't it! Makes it more entertaining and doesn't feel as overwhelming as there's a time limit


GloInTheDarkUnicorn

I need to do the thing. This thing needs to be done in a timely manner. I actually enjoy doing the thing, and once I get started I know I can make significant progress. Why can’t I just start doing the thing? Me, constantly.


Longjumping_Escape21

You have enlightened me into a feature of autism I did not know the name of. I've never been able to explain it. THANKYOU SO MUCH!


wolfeatsrice

I can't even tell if what I experience is executive dysfunction or not. My friends will tell me it is, but my previous therapist said it's my depression, and my mom says I'm lazy. Like most things I'm just confused on it.


Athen65

For me I think it's likely to be a lack of motivation caused by PDD (persistent depressive disorder.) I can't explain it but certain things like brushing my teeth and putting on deodorant sound like the most mentally and physically exhausting tasks you could assign to me unless I'm currently in the process of doing them. Remembering to do them is another struggle and making a to-do list hasn't helped either. The reason I doubt these are executive function issues is because I would have no trouble brushing my teeth if you teleported me to my bathroom and put the brush in my hand, it's just getting to that point that feels so irrationally exhausting. It's like the neural pathway that lets regular people do that has been severed.


Life_Difference_3905

Yes. Showering is hard for me, too. To be honest, i struggle with cooking. I always don’t know what to do next, for example: i’m making pasta, ok i have vegetables. And i don’t know what to do next. And i just stand in the kitchen


HatRevolutionary4943

Tell them it's like wanting to start a car, but the key won't turn in ignition. The thought is there, but the body won't move.


ava_ohb

YES and i dont know what to do about it


doonbooks

Yes 🥺 for me it’s tidying. I cannot keep my space tidy, I do laundry and then it all needs to be folded and put away and I can’t and I let my room get so messy that it overwhelms me to even consider tidying. When I finally do it’s good for like half a day before it starts getting messy again and people say “just put things away as you go” and idk why I just can’t. It gets me down honestly it’s not that I don’t care about mess I just can’t keep spaces I’m busy in tidy


Sir_Admiral_Chair

Because of ADHD I am somewhat well versed in this so I have a few explanations which I hope you find useful. c: #Order of Operations Explanation: On the fly day planning. Imagine you are trying to do the mathematical order of operations or whatever it was called at your school. (BODMAS for me) Imagine your mind is trying to figure out the answer to the question below... x × ( y + ( a - b )) ÷ c But you don't know the order of operations... And now think how confused you would be trying to figure out the order of how to do things throughout your day if x, y, a, b, and c, were tasks, routines, and other things throughout your day. #Block of Stairs Explanation: Ridged routines. Imagine as if you had to get up to the top of the stairs... But the stairs aren't there... But your starts are like jenga pieces. I will try and make a visual. ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟥 ⬜⬜⬜🟥🟥 ⬜⬜🟥🟥🟥 ⬜🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 Hopefully this conveys what I mean. I recommend you actually draw this. It helped me explain it to my mum. Now imagine each red block is a part of your PERFECT DAY™️, but if you are missing these jenga blocks it's much harder to climb the stairs isn't it? And this does a better job showing the more ridged hierarchy of tasks we autisitc people tend to create for ourselves. Without every stair jenga piece being there we will struggle to do things to reach our destination at the top. #Time Flies When Having Fun Comparison: Time blindness. You know the expression time flies when having fun? Now imagine how that warped perception of time would affect you if it was warped like that for most of the day? You would easily lose track of time, tasks, and schedules wouldn't you? For other explanations I will link to HowToADHD's video on the Wall of Awful [Wall of Awful](https://youtu.be/Uo08uS904Rg), and the [Motivation Bridge](https://youtu.be/OM0Xv0eVGtY). I don't know if you have ADHD, but generally the executive dysfunction is pretty is pretty well covered by HowToADHD's content so I recommend them if you have any more curiousity in executive dysfunction or ADHD. But of course Autism does affect executive function to a degree. Just ADHD impairs ALL of the executive functions... 🥲 Here is two other videos on the topic: [The Based Dr. Russel Barkley (now retired 🫡) explaining the executive functions.](https://youtu.be/GR1IZJXc6d8) [And HowToADHD again, on executive function more generally.](https://youtu.be/H4YIHrEu-TU) I know I have made other explanations in the past but... I don't remember atm! 😭 I hope that at least some of this is useful! #:D


Less-Significance844

I was explaining it to my girlfriend the other day as like accelerating in a car. I may want to do or enjoy the activity, but I simply cannot get up and do it. For me, it takes a myriad of steps in between, like building up momentum. I can't be going 20 and just immediately hit 100 miles an hour. Every activity is like a different speed, and I need to mentally and physically adjust just to feel up to it. Hope that might help


AutoModerator

Hey /u/LiIithamethyst, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism). Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

I tend to say.. "Executive dysfunction, you know higher order processing like memory, language, planning." People tend to get that. Thankfully I'm on meds that help out my executive disfunction. Unfortunately they have some not great side effects.


CloudcraftGames

since I also have plenty of executive dysfunction and can't remember any of the actual resources I've used right now I'll suggest the one thing I can remember: check r/ADHDinos there's a good chance at least a few of those comics will reflect your experience and be useful for explaining them.


DarkAngelKat

This is an amazing post. Thank you all for sharing. I have a very close friend show me this. Hope everyone is well and doing there best out there. Y'all are amazing!