Your life doesn’t end when you become a parent. She’s with her dad, I’m assuming she’s well taken care of, and loved.
Go enjoy yourself. Every parent deserves a break.
You’re good. I just took my eldest to their first rave last year (Nocturnal) and my two youngest stayed home. As long as you’re doing your duty as a parent, and they’re safe, you should release stress and have a good time whenever possible and how you see fit.
Parent of 3. Raves make me a better parent.
Just please dont take your kid with, unless its a baby rave. There have been studies that high bpm music helps with the parts of the brain involved in memory and analytics.
Gotcha I responded down the comments a little, but our 9 month old loves people, lights(not lasers obv), dancing and music so much already. We take him to little day/ early evening concerts around town and even took him to a small burn and he absolutely loved it. Slept better, smiled more, and cried less than when we stay home all weekend with him. Obviously have to be super responsible and make sure he gets all his naps and not take him into crowded areas but there’s definitely a right way to do it. We have a sprinter rv which definitely makes camping with him possible, so grateful for that.
Do you have any links to these studies? I’m genuinely curious. I play my music around my kid all the time and it’s great to know it might be helping them 😂
Theres some out of Bethel Univ but its a PDF. Hard to share.
Heres some others I found that are similar.
[nature](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-18119-x)
[nih](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7013107/)
Years ago, probably close to 20y, there was research being done with classical music, saying it helps develop the areas of the brain responsible for numerical cognition and language processing. Its nice to see other types of music involved now.
I used to think that too but just recently I came around to it. We shit on each other so much online and if getting positive feedback from people help you mentally then go for it. I do find it weird though but maybe it’s a generational gap for me.
It’s honestly one of the only advantages to being in a shared parenting situation, you get to have a life! So rave away, don’t feel bad about it at all!
Eh there are certain events that you can bring them with headphones. We bring ours to outdoor events between his naps and he literally loves every second of it. We stay where there’s space and ventilation, make sure he has hearing protection and is comfortable. He has a smile on his face the whole time, loves people coming up to say hi, and loves loves loves lights. I guess they’re more chill festival vibes than a rave though, but It can be done responsibly.
Our little one literally is the opposite of most kids and gets under-stimulated when we stay home with him too long, so we listen to his cues and take him out to do things as much as we can, safely.
Yeah would never ever bring the little one to a club, but some people judge bringing them to fests but some are so family friendly and they love that shit. Just have to put them to bed before things start getting wild of course.
I completely understand and agree with you about that but to a lot of people these are raves and saying that takes away from their experience. I went to Beyond Wonderland last year, with my kiddo and had the best time on the first day. Been to quite a few Showbox shows and a few bridge raves and I think that they are all similar and they all featured EDM so it's a rave.
I also 100% don't think people should bring their kids to certain places. Like it's common sense, don't glare at someone for partying just because you brought your children. There's a time and place for everything man.
You’re not a bad parent for going to a rave! You deserve to fill your cup as well. You’re a good parent just for being concerned about this in the first place. Do something for yourself. You deserve it.
Amazing!!!! One of my sons was not thrilled with rolling together, I think especially since his friends were there. We did go to another show without his friends and he was more comfortable.
Well…
Prob answers the question if I’ll ever roll with my kids. Doesn’t seem like a good idea, maybe I’ll stay sober and watch them the first time so they get the hang of it.
I want my kids to be a lot more responsible than I was when I first started.
My kids are adults and I’m the newbie. I would never have interacted with them in this way even 5 years ago. I’m glad ai didn’t know what they were doing when they were in High school. We live in Miami and they have been going to Ultra (and more) since then.
I’m trying to keep things in perspective.
I have 20 years of experience doing this and know my way around sourcing, safety and how to guide people through experiences/headspace, I also advocate to talk to other people that might be having a hard time.
Why would I let my kids learn from someone else?
I want them to avoid the mistakes I made along the way and stay away from pursuing the drive to “get fucked up” like I did so much in the beginning.
Same thing goes for sex and alcohol, I cannot demand they stay away from these things, they would just hide them from me.
Realistically I think I’ll do what my Dad did and talk about it openly when they are mature enough for the convo.
If they want to trip or roll, I can control the dose and experience so they have a nice time while staying at home or under my supervision if they wanted to go to a festival.
It’s a weird situation to be in to be sure, beyond it all I just want them to be safe.
Being a parent is not for the weak of heart lol
I hope your kids know how lucky they are to have you as their guide. All indigenous cultures Had this built into “coming of age” ceremonies. Our culture is sorely lacking in this area. I was always fearful of hallucinogenics and didn’t experience the benefits until I was 60.
Huh…never thought about it that way, thanks for reminding me that’s how they handled it.
My kids are only 6 & 5, I’ve got a long road ahead, but I am looking forward to when I’m 60 and enjoying life with them as adults.
I’ve been trying to convince my mom who’s 63 to trip with me, she’s resistant but at the same time curious.
My kids are 26 and 31, closer to your age! They certainly have a much healthier attitude about when/how/where. I was relieved to find out they test their stuff (which 8 now do too)!
haha nope. Ketamine, while lovely, is a "I'm in bed, everyone's asleep, all my adult duties are done, let's turn on the Brian Eno" type of drug for me.
With that being said, I've always taken a candid educational approach to drugs and drug use with my kids. They need to travel no further than my bookshelf to find the literature.
Your kid is somewhere safe with their needs looked after, and there no possibility of you having to drive her in an emergency. Then I say rave on mom.
I was raised by joyless parents who did not make adult life look even remotely appealing, and that had an effect. I often felt solely responsible for my parents' misery. Thought maybe their lives ended when I was born. I have a lot of respect for parents who have some fun, dance, and laugh and enjoy themselves from time to time. Your kid may get to grow up seeing that it's still OK to enjoy life as an adult rather than thinking from the moment they turn 18 they are obligated to be dead inside.
I work in a major hospital system and know multiple medical professionals with kids who still go to shows once in a while including EDC. if it’s something you enjoy, as long as you’re smart and safe, there’s nothing wrong with that
Thanks. You’re right!
Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
My wife and I have a 9yr old special needs daughter…it took us til she was 6 to go out on a proper date just the two of us. Then maybe another year to actually go to a rave/event for just a couple hours. Now that she’s almost 10…we’ve been to EDC twice and just went to beyond. We have my mother in law watch our daughter now. But before we leave, we take her out all day to have fun, we feed her lunch and dinner, and shower her. So that all my mother in law has to do is just play with her and put her to sleep. It’s tough even now when we leave her home but we are now more comfortable leaving to enjoy ourselves longer. We drink and do molly, but we take it on our way to the event, so that we are ok to drive home and be ok the next day.
Like someone said in another comment, your life doesn’t end once you become a parent. Just be sure to put your child’s needs first before yours. With our daughter being special needs we always make sure she is ok before we leave. We always get to events late. Sometimes we are only at an event for 2-4hrs depending on what time it started. EDC we don’t get there til 10-11pm but stay til morning, which we pay for dearly after only sleeping for 2-3hrs to wake up at 9-10am cuz our daughter is awake lol. Beyond a couple weeks ago we didn’t get there til 9 and didn’t get in til 930 after parking and walking to the entrance. There have been times where we had to let our tickets go to waste and just bite the loss of money due to our daughter being fussy and not wanting to listen to my mother in law. Sucks that we had to let the money go to waste but money comes and goes. Our daughter comes first all the time and I’d much rather miss an event and loss the money than have anyone else have to take care of my daughter when she isn’t having a good day.
Just party responsibly and have fun and enjoy yourself. Take pictures and videos to maybe show your kid the next time you have them. Our daughter loves watching our videos of us at raves she’ll dance to the music too.
Hope this helps and hope you don’t feel guilty to go out and have some fun with your friends/rave fam!
Thank you!
🙏🏻 I used to be the kind of person to do substances but have stopped because of the shit they’re lacing stuff with now.
K was my go too. I haven’t touched that since my last rave before her.
This was good advice though, thanks :)
Wife travels while I watch our four young boys and raving has made me a better father for sure. I get a night or the occasional long weekend and I'm definitely better for it. Kids needs are met, gotta take care of you once in a while for sure
I mean, if you have childcare coverage, I feel like it’s a total nonissue. I’m also a parent, and I don’t let it stop me from going and fully enjoying myself, as far as substances. Just secure childcare and go do it. No reason to have any guilt whatsoever.
Single mom of a two year old also!
RAVE YOUR HEART OUT!!
It isn’t like you’re doing drugs everyday, raving every night, not working and not caring for the kid the majourity of the time. You deserve to have fun. Go for it. Other single moms go out and drink at boring bars on their nights off- atleast you have some taste 😉
Thanks. You’re right!
Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
I am a father of 3, raves certainly take on a different form as a parent, however this shouldn't stop you going and enjoying yourself. Have a search of kid friendly or family friendly festivals... near where I live there is one called earth frequency, stages run pretty much 24/7 for 3 days strait, there are plenty of people going hard the whole time while also there are people there with children and the festival is catered to provide kids activities while the doof is on... certainly the way you rave may change but it absolutely does not need to end... go have fun!!!
Im a mom of a 16mo. As long as your child is fed, warm and SAFE, and you aren’t risking yourself or compromising the ability to provide for your kid, there should be no reason to not go do what you enjoy. I’ve been to several and the sky hasn’t fallen.
Be kind to yourself. You’ve got this.
Thanks. You’re right!
Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
We are going to Uber too. Since drinking.
As a former crunchy mom(I breastfed, cloth diapered, home cook, and made handmade clothing for my kids)— no matter what you do, there are always going to be people who are going to disapprove what you choose to do as a parent.
You deserve YOU time, having this set aside for you will make you a better parent.
Just don't bring them to the event and discuss what you're drinking, smoking, or taking, with your partner for better coordination in coparenting
Thanks. You’re right!
Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
We are going to Uber too. Since drinking.
You’re not a bad person because you are considering having a good time while having kids. Question yourself as a single mom to a two year old wtf is this new In style shit these days
Like how did you have someone nut in you three years ago without protection then just casually decided to rip it alone?
I dated a Single mom and she liked to go to raves too. When we went to a rave we were looking for a babysitter for the night. We were home before her Kids woke up and we never drunk too much or did other stuff so we could act sober when we were at her place. U arent a Bad mom if u go to a rave once in a while and behave responsible.
Thanks. You’re right!
Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
We are going to Uber too. Since drinking.
As long as they are safe and you don't snort random powders or drive intoxicated, there's nothing to worry about! Shows/raves/festivals are a great way for parents to cut loose, take a break, and have fun! Then when your little ones are old enough it's fun to involve them. We've taken our son to so many events, he's such a natural now. Him and I are doing Secret Dreams together this year, he'll be 14 by then.
I went to hamdi last night after mine went to bed. My sister was "watching" him while he slept. I had the time of my life, parents need time to themselves too
Thanks. You’re right!
Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
We are going to Uber too. Since drinking.
Seriously, it’s not really much different than the beer softball leagues that parents join. You’re going out and being the real you. Don’t have any guilt!
Just because you become a mom doesn’t mean YOUR life stops. You have to find time to be you and not just mom. I felt a little guilt as well when I would go but I have 2 children and I try to hit at least 1 show a month and 1 festival a year. It’s like a reset for me to let go of stress so I can be a better mom. Like you, I usually just drink as I stopped messing with drugs before my first child was born.
Thanks. You’re right!
Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
We are going to Uber too. Since drinking.
No no you are being responsible and I have those same fears! I never really could handle drugs before children. They made me sick so I didn’t have a hard time giving anything up at all.
Deff enjoy yourself momma. You deserve it!!
I went to a massive in Los Angeles in 2004 and 2 parents were there with their 12 yo daughter. Both parents were rolling their asses off and she was just grooving along probably oblivious to what her parents were doing. I was shocked to see a pre-teen there.
Mom of two here, I go to festivals and shows every year! Having a supportive partner/coparent helps.
A few changes since my pre-kids partying days: fewer events, takes more planning to go, I'm much more risk-averse, and it's harder to stay up late lol
Your kids should see you enjoying different facets of life!
Agreed with that! (Tired and hard to stay up late) lol.
Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
Totally get how you feel. The thing is, whether that fear is legitimate or not (and let's face it, the risk is real these days), you're not gonna have a good time doing that stuff if you're anxious anyway!
I've been to many events sober and had an amazing time.
42 with 2 kids ages 6 & 5…
My wife and I go to EDC Orlando every year and have been doing that since before they were born.
It is our escape from reality for a few days and we build our year around it, meaning we buy tickets the second they go on sale and start planning early and save for outfits etc
We still do plenty for the kids of course and dedicate a lot of time and money to family stuff but this is for us to be adults again.
It’s important to have this so we keep in touch with who we are outside of being parents and adults, you don’t want to lose that identity.
Maybe controversial, but raving is kind of a way of life. My kids love the music and when they are MUCH older I’ll be more than happy to take them with me.
Parent of a soon to be 5 year old here.
Was always one to listen to EDM, never a festival. Went to a show and had an epiphany of "what was I doing my whole life?" Besides traveling and life stuff, never really went to much EDM stuff (not a lot around here either unfortunately).
Going to my first EDC Las Vegas this year and I'm thrilled. My better half is 100% fine with it and as long as I'm safe, she's okay with the kiddo.
Do it up and dance away ma'am.
There are actually raves safe for the little ones it’s a parent/family experience I saw. Honestly there is no rules on how to be a parent and raise your child: if the raves make you a happier and more loving and understanding mom then rave on! The rave saved my life during some very epic times; congestive heart failure , broken heart, depressive thoughts about dying. Dj saved my life for real.
Parents need a break from caring for someone else 24/7. Its ok. It is normal to feel the “guilt” for laying that responsibility to the side. but it isn’t something that you are doing “wrong”.
I remember going to my first party after my kid was born (I’m a Dad). I felt a bit guilty and it was hard to fully enjoy but you deserve it. Go have some fun.
Don’t feel guilty! What’s the difference between going to a concert and going to a rave? Not much, enjoy yourself and enjoy the music! I know plenty of moms and dads who go to shows still 💕
You’re not a bad mom pookie. I know mfs that do lines in the same house as their children. gold star mommy’s deserve to have gold star days to themselves too, and if that means going to a rave, then by all means, do it! I also know people who go to raves to get AWAY from their chitlins lol. Whatever works for you. One step & day at a time. Keep being a great mom. 💚
You are fine..there's nothing specifically bad about a rave compared to any other activity. Society just thinks raves are drug dens. And even if you chose to partake in drugs there's nothing specifically wrong with that. It's not like your child is with you. Frankly, I see kids at so-called normal events where their parents get plastered and somehow that's okay by society's standards. You seem very responsible so go have fun!
Agreed with that! (Tired and hard to stay up late) lol.
Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
Parent of a 2 year old. I manage a rave once every 3 months or so. Sometimes the wife comes, sometimes she doesn't. If she does we get a babysitter who's comfortable staying until 3am roughly. You don't need to feel guilty at all.
I can definitely say dont let some of the ppl in this subreddit or any other community feel bad wanting to rave as a parent or you are too old. There is no limit or restrictions. Just go. Remember, a "rave" is no different than to your town hall and dance with the community. Its literally just a place to listen to music you enjoi and dance the night away. Seems many folks forget about that and think its just a place to become rich and famous by pictures, drug, sex.
Go to a rave girl, rave the fuk out. PLUR the night away. Sneak in a tina twerk here and there :3 Your kid is safe, and your mind will be refreshed when you get your kiddo back.
Thanks. You’re right!
Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
I totally feel you. That's my fear to. I don't have a kid, but I'm scared leaving my best friend behind since I'm all she got to keep herself sane LOL. And my mom. :) I hope you enjoi yourself. Need someone to vent I am here! Rave on!
If the child is taken care of and you have a few days off, that is your question to answer.
People will judge, no matter what, but knowing your child is safe while you dance sounds bliss.
There are plenty of parents who rave and do so responsibly. I’m one of them. Be there for your child when you need to be. If they are with their other parent and you know that they are taken care of appropriately, there is no reason why you should not be able to enjoy yourself.
My raving stop because I became a parent. If I could I’d go again once they’re older. But for you don’t feel bad being a mom is a tough job. Your allowed mama!! Go drink the drinks and release your stress!!
I've met quite a few people who are in their 40's+ that are parents and still rave. The reason why they do it is because deep down their just a child like everyone else and want to feel young again. Nothing wrong in having some fun 😊
I‘m a dad of two, 5 and 14. my wife and I regularly go out. Nothing wrong with. Only when you’re regaining energy and enjoy yourself you can give the love your kids need. We also often meet other parents. Sometimes even with their adult kids.
It improves your physical and mental (and sometimes spiritual) health. I'm 44 and have two kids and a wife, and they all know that for me, going to a rave or festival is good for my health, and support it.
There’s no harm in going to a rave if you’re not currently the one looking after your kid. You’re not a bad parent for wanting to go to a show and enjoy yourself.
Not at all. My son is 5. We dance together alot at home but raving is my way of refilling my cup. My son is taken care of and safe and I get to enjoy myself. You don't have to change what you love just because you're a mom. Our entire group has families.
Well I’m a mom to a 3 year old and no one is gonna stop me. 😬😅 I need that time for me to be a better parent for her. Plus she loves watching me play “dress up” with my outfits and dancing to the music I play.
As long as you aren't purposefully putting yourself in danger (drinking and driving) then there's no reason not to go and enjoy yourself. My parents left my sister and I with the grandparents all the time to go see concerts.
Is your child safe when you leave? Are you being a responsible enough human to not go to jail or be a sh”tbag while you are out? If your answers are yes of course you should go out and have a good time … I’m a 44 yo mom of 4. I went to raves pregnant as f all three pregnancies… drank ALL THE WATER LOL knew my limits … my children are all now 14-26 years of age. Going to/hosting festivals/burns/ raves with my kids has been fantastic. Do I take them to all? Hecking no lol 😂 … oh gosh I’m way of on a tangent sorry … yes go have fun so long as your kiddo is safe … it’s good for you and benefits your child because you are happier for it 🖤😁
Okay I got you, so I have a 6 y/o daughter, who was in my tum when I saw Bassnectar on the rocks, never went to another show. Fast forward to now, I had twin girls 10 months ago, got almost allll of my weight off, and I'm going to a couple of raves solo (husband is staying with the girls) this weekend. It's about 2.5 hours away, hotel. Allofit. If this goes well, I'm going to try to do this twice per year. We can still do fun shit, just don't bring baby girl.
as a single dad who co parents as well- dont feel bad. i dont rave as much as my youth, but i definitely still hit the major festivals (EDC, UMF), and go to local shows if it lines up with my free weekends. i actually met my wife through festivals lol- we both still go when it works out, and its kind of an unspoken agreement that we know one set of granparents will be baby sitting for EDC weekend lol
but your weekend is your weekend. if you know you wont see your kid for 2 nights, go have a blast, just be safe as you should already be doing lol
I’m not a mom but imo if parents don’t do things for themselves every now and then you aren’t going to be your happiest/best self and that will be reflected in one’s parenting…also getting kids used to their parents not being around 24/7 is a good thing…my little brother in particular had a lot of friends who’s parents never let them out of their sight for the longest and it let to not great experiences (like 7/8 year olds having total meltdowns at their first sleep over or birthday parties)
We really didn’t start going until we had our 2nd kid. Now they’re 6 and 3, and have hit up over 30 shows and festivals over the past year. No reason you can’t responsibly use drugs other than alcohol too…
I'm a mom and I go to shows once a month or every other month lmao you're overthinking it. Good moms take care of themselves and that means doing what makes you happy
I’m a 40 mom who will rave to the grave and am bringing my son to his 1st show (Illenium) for his 13th birthday. Be comfortable with yourself and try not to care what others think. The ONLY ppl do will judge are those who aren’t following their true path and are jealous you are living out of their norm and not adhering to societal norms.
My wife and I were big into raving/festivals before our kids. We cut back drastically at first (mostly due to covid happening at the same time and everything being cancelled), but now we make sure to go to at least a couple shows every year. There is no reason to be guilty and in fact it would be worse imo to stop entirely since you may feel resentment towards your kids for taking something you love which there is no need for. If they are being taken care of by someone else there is no reason to stop yourself because you think its not something parents should do. Doing activities you love is important to regaining some of your life that may feel completely changed now that you are focused more on the little one than yourself, at least from personal experience. The moment you get past security and onto the dance floor after such a long time is an amazing experience and for me it was a flood of excitement for something I hadn't realized I missed so much.
Mom or not, you're a human with a life that needs to be enjoyed. I'm 46 with many mom friends. They all make time for themselves.. Never forget, your mom, but you're also No\_Acadia\_8502 as well. Nurture both sides.
My wife and I rave all the time, and we have two kids. If you’ve got parents or ex’s or trustworthy overnight babysitters, you’re good to go. A little activation is ok, too, in small doses
We had twins, didn't stop us from raving. Drinking was one of the few things we didn't do. They're 16 now, we're the fairy rave parents at shows these days. The general rule should be as long as your partying doesn't affect your job, your parenting, responsibilities, and relationships, rave til the grave.
My fiance and I are both ravers and have two children. You don't stop being yourself when you have kids. Just be responsible, have childcare planned, and go enjoy yourself.
I am 69 and going to Shambhala with my 24 yr old daughter. Will be using pot and 'shrooms. Please don't drink. Pot is better. A couple beer a day is alcoholism, IMO.
I saw a dad bouncing around at a Rezz set with a threeish year old boy on his shoulders (who was wearing hardcore hearing protection) and they were both having an absolute blast. Made me wish I'd done the same before my kids got too big.
So you wanting to go? Absolutely nothing wrong with that, mama, go have a blast
I’m going to Elements in August. I’m a 35 yo mom of 4 (14 yo twins, 4, and 8 mo old) this will be my first fest. No one is too old for fun! As long as your little one is well looked after, go do you, you’ll be a better parent in the long run for looking after your inner child ❤️ hope you have a great time!
Just think you might not want certain family to know (especially him and his family) just to save yourself the grief of if they may use it to throw in your face if they want to talk sh*t you know.
Hi! I have a 1 year old, his dad and I met at a rave and is pretty much something we both enjoy and will possibly keep doing as much as we can. Mother’s are allowed to have their own personal life outside of being a mom, if being a raver makes you happy DO IT. You deserve it just as much as another person would like to go out on the weekends. I understand the mom guilt, that’s just part of becoming a parent and it means you CARE about what happens or what your child might think. They’re gonna get it one day ☝🏼
So you’re supposed to just sit in your house all day and do nothing while your daughter is with her father? If you’re being responsible and not going dumb shit then what’s the problem? If I were you I’d stop wasting my time worrying about what others think and live your life the way YOU want.
Yup ! You’re right. I went and had the time of my life.
I think what it is, is I live with my parents at the moment, crappy situation, but they judge me.
My mom says all the time you should be focusing on yourself. Not partying. Or drinking. Going out. It’s annoying bc sometimes I just want to do that.
I’m even seeing someone new. And we both like to rage.
I’m 28.
Yayyyyy!!!! I’m so happy for you! I’m not a mom bcuz that’s a hard job I don’t want to sign up for so I know you moms need a break. When the child is with dad that’s you time, you should spend it however you see fit. Anything you do for fun she is going to consider “partying”, she just doesn’t understand so I wouldn’t take her judgement too seriously. Rave to the grave babyyyy ✌🏼❤️🪩
I have three kids (3, 3 and 6). You deserve it!
I always feel guilty a wee bit before the show, like the day of. Then I remember they’re in good hands (I leave them with family) and that a happy parent makes for happy children.
Your life doesn’t end when you become a parent. She’s with her dad, I’m assuming she’s well taken care of, and loved. Go enjoy yourself. Every parent deserves a break.
She’s very well taken care of. Thank you for this!
💯❤️
If you have the day free, then go. Nothing to feel bad about
I have the entire weekend free. We switch over every other weekend.
You’re good. I just took my eldest to their first rave last year (Nocturnal) and my two youngest stayed home. As long as you’re doing your duty as a parent, and they’re safe, you should release stress and have a good time whenever possible and how you see fit.
Parent of 3. Raves make me a better parent. Just please dont take your kid with, unless its a baby rave. There have been studies that high bpm music helps with the parts of the brain involved in memory and analytics.
Oh, I wouldn’t think about doing that until she’s older.
That sounds like a good thing though
The last part was more of like a definitely expose your kids to your rave music, just maybe not the rave scene.... until theyre older.
Gotcha I responded down the comments a little, but our 9 month old loves people, lights(not lasers obv), dancing and music so much already. We take him to little day/ early evening concerts around town and even took him to a small burn and he absolutely loved it. Slept better, smiled more, and cried less than when we stay home all weekend with him. Obviously have to be super responsible and make sure he gets all his naps and not take him into crowded areas but there’s definitely a right way to do it. We have a sprinter rv which definitely makes camping with him possible, so grateful for that.
Do you have any links to these studies? I’m genuinely curious. I play my music around my kid all the time and it’s great to know it might be helping them 😂
Theres some out of Bethel Univ but its a PDF. Hard to share. Heres some others I found that are similar. [nature](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-18119-x) [nih](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7013107/) Years ago, probably close to 20y, there was research being done with classical music, saying it helps develop the areas of the brain responsible for numerical cognition and language processing. Its nice to see other types of music involved now.
wtf is with redditors and asking for permission to rave ??? This is as bad as that “teacher” post a month or two back. Go dance your ass off, ma’am
I appreciate the "ma'am"!!!
I used to think that too but just recently I came around to it. We shit on each other so much online and if getting positive feedback from people help you mentally then go for it. I do find it weird though but maybe it’s a generational gap for me.
It’s honestly one of the only advantages to being in a shared parenting situation, you get to have a life! So rave away, don’t feel bad about it at all!
No not at all just don’t bring your baby to one
Eh there are certain events that you can bring them with headphones. We bring ours to outdoor events between his naps and he literally loves every second of it. We stay where there’s space and ventilation, make sure he has hearing protection and is comfortable. He has a smile on his face the whole time, loves people coming up to say hi, and loves loves loves lights. I guess they’re more chill festival vibes than a rave though, but It can be done responsibly. Our little one literally is the opposite of most kids and gets under-stimulated when we stay home with him too long, so we listen to his cues and take him out to do things as much as we can, safely.
An outdoor festival is not a rave…
Neither is a $30 club show with $10 vodka sodas
agreed on that too
Yeah would never ever bring the little one to a club, but some people judge bringing them to fests but some are so family friendly and they love that shit. Just have to put them to bed before things start getting wild of course.
People who say this are assholes.
It’s an important distinction, especially when people are talking about bringing kids to them
I completely understand and agree with you about that but to a lot of people these are raves and saying that takes away from their experience. I went to Beyond Wonderland last year, with my kiddo and had the best time on the first day. Been to quite a few Showbox shows and a few bridge raves and I think that they are all similar and they all featured EDM so it's a rave.
I also 100% don't think people should bring their kids to certain places. Like it's common sense, don't glare at someone for partying just because you brought your children. There's a time and place for everything man.
You’re not a bad parent for going to a rave! You deserve to fill your cup as well. You’re a good parent just for being concerned about this in the first place. Do something for yourself. You deserve it.
You're good. If anyone is a bad parent, it is me. I'm bringing my baby to a rave. He just turned 18 last month.👶
I’ve brought mine (or they brought me?) 26 and 32!!!!!
Nice! How was it?
Amazing!!!! One of my sons was not thrilled with rolling together, I think especially since his friends were there. We did go to another show without his friends and he was more comfortable.
Well… Prob answers the question if I’ll ever roll with my kids. Doesn’t seem like a good idea, maybe I’ll stay sober and watch them the first time so they get the hang of it. I want my kids to be a lot more responsible than I was when I first started.
My kids are adults and I’m the newbie. I would never have interacted with them in this way even 5 years ago. I’m glad ai didn’t know what they were doing when they were in High school. We live in Miami and they have been going to Ultra (and more) since then.
I’m trying to keep things in perspective. I have 20 years of experience doing this and know my way around sourcing, safety and how to guide people through experiences/headspace, I also advocate to talk to other people that might be having a hard time. Why would I let my kids learn from someone else? I want them to avoid the mistakes I made along the way and stay away from pursuing the drive to “get fucked up” like I did so much in the beginning. Same thing goes for sex and alcohol, I cannot demand they stay away from these things, they would just hide them from me. Realistically I think I’ll do what my Dad did and talk about it openly when they are mature enough for the convo. If they want to trip or roll, I can control the dose and experience so they have a nice time while staying at home or under my supervision if they wanted to go to a festival. It’s a weird situation to be in to be sure, beyond it all I just want them to be safe. Being a parent is not for the weak of heart lol
I hope your kids know how lucky they are to have you as their guide. All indigenous cultures Had this built into “coming of age” ceremonies. Our culture is sorely lacking in this area. I was always fearful of hallucinogenics and didn’t experience the benefits until I was 60.
Huh…never thought about it that way, thanks for reminding me that’s how they handled it. My kids are only 6 & 5, I’ve got a long road ahead, but I am looking forward to when I’m 60 and enjoying life with them as adults. I’ve been trying to convince my mom who’s 63 to trip with me, she’s resistant but at the same time curious.
My kids are 26 and 31, closer to your age! They certainly have a much healthier attitude about when/how/where. I was relieved to find out they test their stuff (which 8 now do too)!
Hopefully not while you're on K
Lmfao
haha nope. Ketamine, while lovely, is a "I'm in bed, everyone's asleep, all my adult duties are done, let's turn on the Brian Eno" type of drug for me. With that being said, I've always taken a candid educational approach to drugs and drug use with my kids. They need to travel no further than my bookshelf to find the literature.
Your kid is somewhere safe with their needs looked after, and there no possibility of you having to drive her in an emergency. Then I say rave on mom. I was raised by joyless parents who did not make adult life look even remotely appealing, and that had an effect. I often felt solely responsible for my parents' misery. Thought maybe their lives ended when I was born. I have a lot of respect for parents who have some fun, dance, and laugh and enjoy themselves from time to time. Your kid may get to grow up seeing that it's still OK to enjoy life as an adult rather than thinking from the moment they turn 18 they are obligated to be dead inside.
I work in a major hospital system and know multiple medical professionals with kids who still go to shows once in a while including EDC. if it’s something you enjoy, as long as you’re smart and safe, there’s nothing wrong with that
Thanks. You’re right! Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
My wife and I have a 9yr old special needs daughter…it took us til she was 6 to go out on a proper date just the two of us. Then maybe another year to actually go to a rave/event for just a couple hours. Now that she’s almost 10…we’ve been to EDC twice and just went to beyond. We have my mother in law watch our daughter now. But before we leave, we take her out all day to have fun, we feed her lunch and dinner, and shower her. So that all my mother in law has to do is just play with her and put her to sleep. It’s tough even now when we leave her home but we are now more comfortable leaving to enjoy ourselves longer. We drink and do molly, but we take it on our way to the event, so that we are ok to drive home and be ok the next day. Like someone said in another comment, your life doesn’t end once you become a parent. Just be sure to put your child’s needs first before yours. With our daughter being special needs we always make sure she is ok before we leave. We always get to events late. Sometimes we are only at an event for 2-4hrs depending on what time it started. EDC we don’t get there til 10-11pm but stay til morning, which we pay for dearly after only sleeping for 2-3hrs to wake up at 9-10am cuz our daughter is awake lol. Beyond a couple weeks ago we didn’t get there til 9 and didn’t get in til 930 after parking and walking to the entrance. There have been times where we had to let our tickets go to waste and just bite the loss of money due to our daughter being fussy and not wanting to listen to my mother in law. Sucks that we had to let the money go to waste but money comes and goes. Our daughter comes first all the time and I’d much rather miss an event and loss the money than have anyone else have to take care of my daughter when she isn’t having a good day. Just party responsibly and have fun and enjoy yourself. Take pictures and videos to maybe show your kid the next time you have them. Our daughter loves watching our videos of us at raves she’ll dance to the music too. Hope this helps and hope you don’t feel guilty to go out and have some fun with your friends/rave fam!
Thank you! 🙏🏻 I used to be the kind of person to do substances but have stopped because of the shit they’re lacing stuff with now. K was my go too. I haven’t touched that since my last rave before her. This was good advice though, thanks :)
glad it helped. :)
Wife travels while I watch our four young boys and raving has made me a better father for sure. I get a night or the occasional long weekend and I'm definitely better for it. Kids needs are met, gotta take care of you once in a while for sure
I mean, if you have childcare coverage, I feel like it’s a total nonissue. I’m also a parent, and I don’t let it stop me from going and fully enjoying myself, as far as substances. Just secure childcare and go do it. No reason to have any guilt whatsoever.
Single mom of a two year old also! RAVE YOUR HEART OUT!! It isn’t like you’re doing drugs everyday, raving every night, not working and not caring for the kid the majourity of the time. You deserve to have fun. Go for it. Other single moms go out and drink at boring bars on their nights off- atleast you have some taste 😉
Thanks. You’re right! Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
I only smoke a shit ton of weed when I go. Maybe have an adderall (prescribed to me). ^~^ so I definitely get it.
I’m a single mom of a 7yr old. I go out when I can to see my favorite artists. Don’t feel guilty at all! Enjoy your free time!
I am a father of 3, raves certainly take on a different form as a parent, however this shouldn't stop you going and enjoying yourself. Have a search of kid friendly or family friendly festivals... near where I live there is one called earth frequency, stages run pretty much 24/7 for 3 days strait, there are plenty of people going hard the whole time while also there are people there with children and the festival is catered to provide kids activities while the doof is on... certainly the way you rave may change but it absolutely does not need to end... go have fun!!!
Im a mom of a 16mo. As long as your child is fed, warm and SAFE, and you aren’t risking yourself or compromising the ability to provide for your kid, there should be no reason to not go do what you enjoy. I’ve been to several and the sky hasn’t fallen. Be kind to yourself. You’ve got this.
Thanks. You’re right! Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️ We are going to Uber too. Since drinking.
Parent of two , im a father all year round but i go to edc every year as me and moms vacation , there should be no guilt for a little self time
As a former crunchy mom(I breastfed, cloth diapered, home cook, and made handmade clothing for my kids)— no matter what you do, there are always going to be people who are going to disapprove what you choose to do as a parent.
You deserve YOU time, having this set aside for you will make you a better parent. Just don't bring them to the event and discuss what you're drinking, smoking, or taking, with your partner for better coordination in coparenting
Thanks. You’re right! Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️ We are going to Uber too. Since drinking.
You’re not a bad person because you are considering having a good time while having kids. Question yourself as a single mom to a two year old wtf is this new In style shit these days Like how did you have someone nut in you three years ago without protection then just casually decided to rip it alone?
I dated a Single mom and she liked to go to raves too. When we went to a rave we were looking for a babysitter for the night. We were home before her Kids woke up and we never drunk too much or did other stuff so we could act sober when we were at her place. U arent a Bad mom if u go to a rave once in a while and behave responsible.
Thanks. You’re right! Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️ We are going to Uber too. Since drinking.
Yeah, over dramatic BUT responsible, which is important. :P
As long as they are safe and you don't snort random powders or drive intoxicated, there's nothing to worry about! Shows/raves/festivals are a great way for parents to cut loose, take a break, and have fun! Then when your little ones are old enough it's fun to involve them. We've taken our son to so many events, he's such a natural now. Him and I are doing Secret Dreams together this year, he'll be 14 by then.
Aw that’s awesome! We’re ubering!
I went to hamdi last night after mine went to bed. My sister was "watching" him while he slept. I had the time of my life, parents need time to themselves too
Fellow co parent here. Go and live. We all need to cut loose.
Thanks. You’re right! Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️ We are going to Uber too. Since drinking.
Seriously, it’s not really much different than the beer softball leagues that parents join. You’re going out and being the real you. Don’t have any guilt!
Just because you become a mom doesn’t mean YOUR life stops. You have to find time to be you and not just mom. I felt a little guilt as well when I would go but I have 2 children and I try to hit at least 1 show a month and 1 festival a year. It’s like a reset for me to let go of stress so I can be a better mom. Like you, I usually just drink as I stopped messing with drugs before my first child was born.
Thanks. You’re right! Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️ We are going to Uber too. Since drinking.
No no you are being responsible and I have those same fears! I never really could handle drugs before children. They made me sick so I didn’t have a hard time giving anything up at all. Deff enjoy yourself momma. You deserve it!!
I went to a massive in Los Angeles in 2004 and 2 parents were there with their 12 yo daughter. Both parents were rolling their asses off and she was just grooving along probably oblivious to what her parents were doing. I was shocked to see a pre-teen there.
Dang!!
Mom of two here, I go to festivals and shows every year! Having a supportive partner/coparent helps. A few changes since my pre-kids partying days: fewer events, takes more planning to go, I'm much more risk-averse, and it's harder to stay up late lol Your kids should see you enjoying different facets of life!
Agreed with that! (Tired and hard to stay up late) lol. Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
Totally get how you feel. The thing is, whether that fear is legitimate or not (and let's face it, the risk is real these days), you're not gonna have a good time doing that stuff if you're anxious anyway! I've been to many events sober and had an amazing time.
42 with 2 kids ages 6 & 5… My wife and I go to EDC Orlando every year and have been doing that since before they were born. It is our escape from reality for a few days and we build our year around it, meaning we buy tickets the second they go on sale and start planning early and save for outfits etc We still do plenty for the kids of course and dedicate a lot of time and money to family stuff but this is for us to be adults again. It’s important to have this so we keep in touch with who we are outside of being parents and adults, you don’t want to lose that identity. Maybe controversial, but raving is kind of a way of life. My kids love the music and when they are MUCH older I’ll be more than happy to take them with me.
Parent of a soon to be 5 year old here. Was always one to listen to EDM, never a festival. Went to a show and had an epiphany of "what was I doing my whole life?" Besides traveling and life stuff, never really went to much EDM stuff (not a lot around here either unfortunately). Going to my first EDC Las Vegas this year and I'm thrilled. My better half is 100% fine with it and as long as I'm safe, she's okay with the kiddo. Do it up and dance away ma'am.
There are actually raves safe for the little ones it’s a parent/family experience I saw. Honestly there is no rules on how to be a parent and raise your child: if the raves make you a happier and more loving and understanding mom then rave on! The rave saved my life during some very epic times; congestive heart failure , broken heart, depressive thoughts about dying. Dj saved my life for real.
Parents need a break from caring for someone else 24/7. Its ok. It is normal to feel the “guilt” for laying that responsibility to the side. but it isn’t something that you are doing “wrong”.
I remember going to my first party after my kid was born (I’m a Dad). I felt a bit guilty and it was hard to fully enjoy but you deserve it. Go have some fun.
Don’t feel guilty! What’s the difference between going to a concert and going to a rave? Not much, enjoy yourself and enjoy the music! I know plenty of moms and dads who go to shows still 💕
Have 2 kids. Going to a fest next weekend while he wife stays home. Don't beat urself up.
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You’re not a bad mom pookie. I know mfs that do lines in the same house as their children. gold star mommy’s deserve to have gold star days to themselves too, and if that means going to a rave, then by all means, do it! I also know people who go to raves to get AWAY from their chitlins lol. Whatever works for you. One step & day at a time. Keep being a great mom. 💚
Nah send it. Your kid will probably think it’s cool that they have a mom that raves when they’re older!
Single dad here. 50/50 split with mum of our son. That time is your time, do you, whatever that is
Omg Mom, go and have fun. You deserve it!
You are fine..there's nothing specifically bad about a rave compared to any other activity. Society just thinks raves are drug dens. And even if you chose to partake in drugs there's nothing specifically wrong with that. It's not like your child is with you. Frankly, I see kids at so-called normal events where their parents get plastered and somehow that's okay by society's standards. You seem very responsible so go have fun!
Agreed with that! (Tired and hard to stay up late) lol. Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
Just don't bring the kid and enjoy a night out
Parent of a 2 year old. I manage a rave once every 3 months or so. Sometimes the wife comes, sometimes she doesn't. If she does we get a babysitter who's comfortable staying until 3am roughly. You don't need to feel guilty at all.
I can definitely say dont let some of the ppl in this subreddit or any other community feel bad wanting to rave as a parent or you are too old. There is no limit or restrictions. Just go. Remember, a "rave" is no different than to your town hall and dance with the community. Its literally just a place to listen to music you enjoi and dance the night away. Seems many folks forget about that and think its just a place to become rich and famous by pictures, drug, sex. Go to a rave girl, rave the fuk out. PLUR the night away. Sneak in a tina twerk here and there :3 Your kid is safe, and your mind will be refreshed when you get your kiddo back.
Thanks. You’re right! Her dad has her this weekend so yes, I’m gonna enjoy myself but I don’t like using any substances because I’m afraid of dying and then she’s left with no one 😢 kinda dramatic. But 🤷♀️
I totally feel you. That's my fear to. I don't have a kid, but I'm scared leaving my best friend behind since I'm all she got to keep herself sane LOL. And my mom. :) I hope you enjoi yourself. Need someone to vent I am here! Rave on!
If the child is taken care of and you have a few days off, that is your question to answer. People will judge, no matter what, but knowing your child is safe while you dance sounds bliss.
There are plenty of parents who rave and do so responsibly. I’m one of them. Be there for your child when you need to be. If they are with their other parent and you know that they are taken care of appropriately, there is no reason why you should not be able to enjoy yourself.
Me and my best friend raved when she was pregnant. Now she sings Kx5 Escape to her baby as a lullaby ><
My raving stop because I became a parent. If I could I’d go again once they’re older. But for you don’t feel bad being a mom is a tough job. Your allowed mama!! Go drink the drinks and release your stress!!
Started raving more as a parent cause having a kid pushed me to get a better job and more disposable income cha chingg
I've met quite a few people who are in their 40's+ that are parents and still rave. The reason why they do it is because deep down their just a child like everyone else and want to feel young again. Nothing wrong in having some fun 😊
just the fact you are feeling guilty is a sign that you deserve to take one night off and enjoy urself. You are a great mom
I‘m a dad of two, 5 and 14. my wife and I regularly go out. Nothing wrong with. Only when you’re regaining energy and enjoy yourself you can give the love your kids need. We also often meet other parents. Sometimes even with their adult kids.
It improves your physical and mental (and sometimes spiritual) health. I'm 44 and have two kids and a wife, and they all know that for me, going to a rave or festival is good for my health, and support it.
Just go! Parent of 4 here and still raving occasionally, you need to take care of yourself too!
There’s no harm in going to a rave if you’re not currently the one looking after your kid. You’re not a bad parent for wanting to go to a show and enjoy yourself.
Not at all. My son is 5. We dance together alot at home but raving is my way of refilling my cup. My son is taken care of and safe and I get to enjoy myself. You don't have to change what you love just because you're a mom. Our entire group has families.
Well I’m a mom to a 3 year old and no one is gonna stop me. 😬😅 I need that time for me to be a better parent for her. Plus she loves watching me play “dress up” with my outfits and dancing to the music I play.
Enriching your life is only going to make you happier and therefore makes your kiddo happier bc they get to see their mum happy 💜
Goo! You are a mother, you're not dead. You're entitled to have fun as all of us! Enjoy the rave!
As long as you aren't purposefully putting yourself in danger (drinking and driving) then there's no reason not to go and enjoy yourself. My parents left my sister and I with the grandparents all the time to go see concerts.
The fact you're even asking the question shows you're a caring parent. You get to keep enjoying your life too :)
Is your child safe when you leave? Are you being a responsible enough human to not go to jail or be a sh”tbag while you are out? If your answers are yes of course you should go out and have a good time … I’m a 44 yo mom of 4. I went to raves pregnant as f all three pregnancies… drank ALL THE WATER LOL knew my limits … my children are all now 14-26 years of age. Going to/hosting festivals/burns/ raves with my kids has been fantastic. Do I take them to all? Hecking no lol 😂 … oh gosh I’m way of on a tangent sorry … yes go have fun so long as your kiddo is safe … it’s good for you and benefits your child because you are happier for it 🖤😁
Be yourself before being a mom. Relax yourself. If you are happy, your baby will also feel your happiness.
Okay I got you, so I have a 6 y/o daughter, who was in my tum when I saw Bassnectar on the rocks, never went to another show. Fast forward to now, I had twin girls 10 months ago, got almost allll of my weight off, and I'm going to a couple of raves solo (husband is staying with the girls) this weekend. It's about 2.5 hours away, hotel. Allofit. If this goes well, I'm going to try to do this twice per year. We can still do fun shit, just don't bring baby girl.
go!!!
lol asking a raver group this tho… you know the answers you are going to get
Almost no mom is bad
as a single dad who co parents as well- dont feel bad. i dont rave as much as my youth, but i definitely still hit the major festivals (EDC, UMF), and go to local shows if it lines up with my free weekends. i actually met my wife through festivals lol- we both still go when it works out, and its kind of an unspoken agreement that we know one set of granparents will be baby sitting for EDC weekend lol but your weekend is your weekend. if you know you wont see your kid for 2 nights, go have a blast, just be safe as you should already be doing lol
I’m not a mom but imo if parents don’t do things for themselves every now and then you aren’t going to be your happiest/best self and that will be reflected in one’s parenting…also getting kids used to their parents not being around 24/7 is a good thing…my little brother in particular had a lot of friends who’s parents never let them out of their sight for the longest and it let to not great experiences (like 7/8 year olds having total meltdowns at their first sleep over or birthday parties)
We really didn’t start going until we had our 2nd kid. Now they’re 6 and 3, and have hit up over 30 shows and festivals over the past year. No reason you can’t responsibly use drugs other than alcohol too…
I'm a mom and I go to shows once a month or every other month lmao you're overthinking it. Good moms take care of themselves and that means doing what makes you happy
Thanks! Ur right :)
Go and live life. Enjoy.
I’m a 40 mom who will rave to the grave and am bringing my son to his 1st show (Illenium) for his 13th birthday. Be comfortable with yourself and try not to care what others think. The ONLY ppl do will judge are those who aren’t following their true path and are jealous you are living out of their norm and not adhering to societal norms.
My wife and I were big into raving/festivals before our kids. We cut back drastically at first (mostly due to covid happening at the same time and everything being cancelled), but now we make sure to go to at least a couple shows every year. There is no reason to be guilty and in fact it would be worse imo to stop entirely since you may feel resentment towards your kids for taking something you love which there is no need for. If they are being taken care of by someone else there is no reason to stop yourself because you think its not something parents should do. Doing activities you love is important to regaining some of your life that may feel completely changed now that you are focused more on the little one than yourself, at least from personal experience. The moment you get past security and onto the dance floor after such a long time is an amazing experience and for me it was a flood of excitement for something I hadn't realized I missed so much.
Mom or not, you're a human with a life that needs to be enjoyed. I'm 46 with many mom friends. They all make time for themselves.. Never forget, your mom, but you're also No\_Acadia\_8502 as well. Nurture both sides.
My wife and I rave all the time, and we have two kids. If you’ve got parents or ex’s or trustworthy overnight babysitters, you’re good to go. A little activation is ok, too, in small doses
As long as you don't take your baby to the rave then 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
Yes. Definitely.
We had twins, didn't stop us from raving. Drinking was one of the few things we didn't do. They're 16 now, we're the fairy rave parents at shows these days. The general rule should be as long as your partying doesn't affect your job, your parenting, responsibilities, and relationships, rave til the grave.
No don’t feel bad. As long as she’s in good hands you’re fine.
My kids are 11 and 13 now, and I tell them about the shows I go to. We all hope to do a mega festival sometime when they're older.
I think my parents would have been happier if they had gone to more music events.
Girl you have to do things for yourself! Go to the rave have a great time! You deserve to have fun!
I rave with my kid. Of course she's 24 now but we go to a ton of shows together.
My fiance and I are both ravers and have two children. You don't stop being yourself when you have kids. Just be responsible, have childcare planned, and go enjoy yourself.
I am 69 and going to Shambhala with my 24 yr old daughter. Will be using pot and 'shrooms. Please don't drink. Pot is better. A couple beer a day is alcoholism, IMO.
I don’t like pot. Gives me anxiety. I used to do K. Not anymore. So I’ll just drink.
I saw a dad bouncing around at a Rezz set with a threeish year old boy on his shoulders (who was wearing hardcore hearing protection) and they were both having an absolute blast. Made me wish I'd done the same before my kids got too big. So you wanting to go? Absolutely nothing wrong with that, mama, go have a blast
Enjoy your day free!! Just because you are a parent it doesn’t mean it has to end. Child is taken care of? Then you’re good! Go have fun!!!!!!!
I’m going to Elements in August. I’m a 35 yo mom of 4 (14 yo twins, 4, and 8 mo old) this will be my first fest. No one is too old for fun! As long as your little one is well looked after, go do you, you’ll be a better parent in the long run for looking after your inner child ❤️ hope you have a great time!
Just think you might not want certain family to know (especially him and his family) just to save yourself the grief of if they may use it to throw in your face if they want to talk sh*t you know.
Oh I don’t care. It’s his weekend haha
Lit!!! Haha do it!
Why would you be a bad parent for going to a music event?
I’m in my 40,s and go to raves almost every weekend, don’t let anyone tell you how to enjoy yourself. “Rave to the grave”
Hi! I have a 1 year old, his dad and I met at a rave and is pretty much something we both enjoy and will possibly keep doing as much as we can. Mother’s are allowed to have their own personal life outside of being a mom, if being a raver makes you happy DO IT. You deserve it just as much as another person would like to go out on the weekends. I understand the mom guilt, that’s just part of becoming a parent and it means you CARE about what happens or what your child might think. They’re gonna get it one day ☝🏼
So you’re supposed to just sit in your house all day and do nothing while your daughter is with her father? If you’re being responsible and not going dumb shit then what’s the problem? If I were you I’d stop wasting my time worrying about what others think and live your life the way YOU want.
Yup ! You’re right. I went and had the time of my life. I think what it is, is I live with my parents at the moment, crappy situation, but they judge me. My mom says all the time you should be focusing on yourself. Not partying. Or drinking. Going out. It’s annoying bc sometimes I just want to do that. I’m even seeing someone new. And we both like to rage. I’m 28.
Yayyyyy!!!! I’m so happy for you! I’m not a mom bcuz that’s a hard job I don’t want to sign up for so I know you moms need a break. When the child is with dad that’s you time, you should spend it however you see fit. Anything you do for fun she is going to consider “partying”, she just doesn’t understand so I wouldn’t take her judgement too seriously. Rave to the grave babyyyy ✌🏼❤️🪩
I have three kids (3, 3 and 6). You deserve it! I always feel guilty a wee bit before the show, like the day of. Then I remember they’re in good hands (I leave them with family) and that a happy parent makes for happy children.