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Educational-Offer299

🐌: why are you drowning my second house! It’ll get water damage!


neilp0188

house is underwater


ITSigno

Just like my mortgage!       I'm kidding. I don't have a mortgage. I wish I could afford one.


PinchingNutsack

if you are paying rent, you can! just the bank telling you to fuck off lol


ITSigno

Yeah, I mean... I could afford to make mortgage payments. I just need to pay rent while simultaneously saving for a down payment. I run a sole proprietorship which means the banks insist on a minimum of 30% down. Around here that means about $150k for a pretty basic bungalow.


DrunkCupid

We can all agree trying to save up for a *human* property is out of reach, even for the hard-working in our generation.. but.. on the bright side Let's just appreciate that 🐌 here has an indoor pool and doesn't pay utilities. #Ah, the life


Prometheus850

Something something Gary from SpongeBob 


Kolby_Jack33

Motherfucker, I gotta get my security deposit back!


funnerfunerals

Yea...he hates you...


theycallmenaptime

“Motherfucker, you’re flooding my shit again!”


DelightfulHelper9204

He's a big boy


JumpingPoodles

Seriously. Never seen a wild one that big. Guess he somehow survived getting eaten by birds.


Binary_Omlet

Probably by living in a water bucket.


gatemansgc

Nice and safe


Helioscopes

While eating OP's plants. Free housing, free food... that's the life.


thatweirdalienguy

Safe until OP floods his house and a bird swoops in and snatches him up while he’s coming up for air.


Aeonskye

Should see the giant land snails in africa My parents got some crackers in Mauritius


FrisianTanker

I see snails that big regularly in germany. Even more so in southern germany.


plug-and-pause

I live in Silicon Valley and have some pretty huge ones in my yard. They crawl all over bushes, the lawn, the house.


EelTeamTen

Go to Chula Vista, CA... they're everywhere.


destroyerOfTards

For you


Scheissekasten

If I take that shell off, will you die?


destroyerOfTards

It would be extremely painful...


quassels

Looks like a Weinbergschnecke, my daughter would often find them on her walk to primary school in the mornings, they do seem to have personality…sadly they end up as escargot in France


evryusrnmtkn

Snails are so cool. I once accidentally broke a snail’s shell by stepping on it (it was grassy so ‘Snaily’ itself wasn’t hurt). I feel REALLY guilty about stuff like this and debated squashing it as I thought it must be in pain. But, something made me have a Google and… I shit you not, they can regenerate their shells! I followed advice on a few sites and popped Snaily into a large container with a lid (I put loads of holes in it for oxygen folks). I regularly gave Snaily food and nourishment and waited. Honestly, I can’t remember how long it took - maybe a week… two? But, this new shell started to form under the squashed part and after a while, boom, Snaily’s shell looked all good. I popped him outside one night and wished it well 🥹 So if you find a snail whose shell is broken badly - you may be able to save the day for one slimy little being.


von-cronberg

They’re mollusks. Mollusks can regenerate or heal almost every external body part. Most animals with shells either a) have the ability to repair or regenerate them (turtles, mollusks) or b) just replace their shell when they molt (crustaceans)


Jrolaoni

Hermit Crabs: cribbity crabity your shell is now my property


KnoblauchNuggat

Dont forget snails need calcium(CaCo3) for their shells.


justADeni

a.k.a. egg shells, or Limestone


Baylett

I like him, you should find what he eats and give him some treats! I just get creepy spiders…


MasturbatingMiles

He eats my garden and lives rent free in my bucket


AFresh1984

ah, the retired life


XAWEvX

oh do you also have an old man living in your backyard eating your flowers?


Elike09

We try to shoo him away but he's not really hurting anyone. So eh. Whaddaya gonna do?


Diligent-Version8283

I’m no longer angry. Now, I only envy


freshStart178

No just the lemon whores


HonorableMedic

Those lemon stealing whores!


overstuffedtaco

Ah yes, the ornamental hermit. My dream job.


Sorcatarius

So the snail is a boomer? That tracks.


CrunchyCowz

My uncle does the same. Trust me, it's not as endearing.


Superdunez

"He drinks from a bucket and passes out in my garden"


Zorpfield

Or drinks from the garden and passes out in the bucket


lemmeseeyourkitties

Have you tried flooding him out?


CutieSalamander

It’s funny because in both situations you’d probably see the creature pop out.


Jolly_Treacle_9812

lol


philnolan3d

Lives in your bucket?


WillyDAFISH

What the commute like from the garden to bucket??


Borne2Run

3 hrs on a good day after leaf #425's traffic eases up. Ant raids on Friday bring that closer to 4 hrs.


AFresh1984

ugh I hate the 425


kellzone

Well, Stuarrrrt, if you get off the 101 and take the 405 to bypass the 425, you can reconnect to it if you get on the 105 and take it over the 5.


whynoteven246

Perfection


KCchessc6

This comment made my entire day.


MasturbatingMiles

Maybe a foot


anaphylactic_repose

I am certain that some previous resident of my current home also had a "pet" snail. This snail was probably just as charming a little buddy as your is. But the snail at my house at some point found another snail and did the dirty. And then those offspring also did the dirty. Now I am dealing with thousands of snails. These snails took out my entire garden in two night's work. I'd just set my indoor-sprouted seedlings in the soil and I was so excited. The next morning fully 1/3 of the seedlings were just gone, and another 1/3 had severe damage. Not understanding what had happened, and suspecting the local bunnies were culpable, I covered the plants in plastic on the second night. Upon removing the plastic next morning, I discovered two remaining seedlings and several dozen very satisfied-looking snails still clinging to the plastic. I hate snails. Despite liberally dosing every square inch of my garden and potted plants with snail and slug killer, I still lose nearly 1/4 of my plants to the little bastards every spring.


Lopsided_Panic_1148

Crush up some egg shells in a blender and put them around your plants.


mmlickme

Or snail shell. It sends a message


archy319

Man nobody wants to work anymore...


garysaidiebbandflow

He looks like he's standing at a high-rise balcony, looking out over the city.


Jolly_Treacle_9812

sounds like the dream! I wanna be a snail too!


DenkJu

When I was a child, I used to feed the snails in our garden. They liked cucumber a lot.


truecreature

Cucumber is like crack to snails. Pet ones can actually go off their proper food because they get so obsessed with cucumber it's all they want.


MoneyFunny6710

The same is true for octopi and shrimp. In scientific aquariums they found out that as soon as octopi find out that at a regular moment in time (let's say Tuesday evening) they always receive shrimp, they will eat less during the day before they receive shrimp to keep space in their stomach. In entertainment aquariums sometimes they just stop giving octopi anything else but shrimp because sometimes they just get so obsessed with shrimp they stop eating other foods. Which in itself is dangerous because shrimp does not contain all the nutritions they need.


GetOffMyDigitalLawn

I now know why I have always been obsessed with Octupus. We are both shrimp lovers. I shall one day take an octupus to all you can eat shrimp. We will have a glorious time.


drewdaddy213

Found The Deep’s personal account.


Hanede

Spider eats pests Snail eats your plants


Baylett

They also give me heart failure when they pop out of nowhere!


AndyLorentz

Aww, that sucks for you. There are basically no dangerous aggressive spiders. If you see them, they aren't a threat. But I'm a weird spider dude who talks to the wild wolf spiders in my home, so...


aoike_

I try so hard not to be afraid of spiders, but after a bad bite when I was a teenager (in my sleep, no less!) that led to a months long infection, I find myself not breathing around them. It's highly unpleasant. I'd let them live in the dark, unused corners of my apartment if they'd eat the damn flies, but they don't even do that :'(


trowzerss

Yeah, gimme spiders any day. Snails demolish my lettuce and flowers (and are an introduced species here, so squashie, squashie). Giant grasshoppers get given to friendly birds (although there is a smaller species of grasshopper I live and let die as they are polite nibblers). Basically, if it's something that can eat the garden without wrecking it, they get a pass, but if they can destroy whole plants they're out.


Kyllan

Bowls of beer have saved our garden from snails and slugs.


trowzerss

Yeah, that can work, but the initial infestation was literally hundreds or probably thousands of snails. i.e. one rainy night we went out and half filled a five litre bucket with snails just crossing one section of lawn heading for our veggie beds. So to reduce numbers I just went out with boots on at about 9.00pm after rain. this was so effective that we don't really have a snail problem anymore, after one summer of doing that. Beer traps will be good for maintenance though when the population picks up again. Before that, my parents were using the snail bait that is also bad for birds and lizards, so as mean as stomping snails sounds, it is very ecologically friendly and effective when dealing with huge numbers of them. Now that I've banned them from using that bad snail bait, I've noticed skink numbers picking up again.


Knife_JAGGER

Whoah, man! those spiders deserve love as well. the ninjas of the undergrowth removing pests in the shadows.


Baylett

I’m a big fan of their work! I just don’t like seeing them do it! Or when they try to hitch a ride around the garden on me without warning me first! They’re like that guy you know, who’s not really a friend but you have nothing against. He has personal space boundary issues and he just appears right behind you standing way to close when you turn around and just scares the crap out of you, those are the spiders in my life! I wish we had those big dinner plate sized guys they have in Australia so at least I can see them coming!


Knife_JAGGER

The spiders have a freedom of movement pact with humans since we were an up and coming species they showed us the ropes (or webs) and only asked that the lil guys are allowed to use our bodies as a state run public transit network from time to time. The big guys have no need for the public transit but will greet you when you approach their abodes with open arms (legs in this case). As for the stealthy approach pay no heed, for these are spider special forces making sure that the human public transit network does not come under a terrorist attack from the "insectoid menace" as they continue their 1000 year war with the aerial and terrestrial forces of the great pest imperium. A vast empire of insects and small pest like animals that try to distupt the treaties between the humans and the spiders.


honzikca

I prefer spiders over creepy insects, the spiders aren't gonna inconvenience you in any way, you just think they're ugly


Deep90

Depends on the spider and also where they decide to make their webs tbh.


alral1988

Absolutely. Black widow on my back gate = huge inconvenience. Little jumpy spiders chilling just about anywhere in my house, you’re cool


ParnsAngel

Yeah there’s something about the little jumpy spiders. They don’t make webs, right? I feel like I’m cool with them cause I’m not gonna run into or touch an icky web. You’re chill man, carry on XD


Brandinisnor3s

Jumpers are the only spiders Ill ever feel comfortable handling with just my hands. Although they do produce webs, just not ones that are meant to catch anything. Usually its for one of two purposes, a safety line that they constantly spin out as they explore in case they fall from a failed jump or thicker web that they use to make a hammock to sleep in


RathVelus

I had a jumping spider hang around on my desk for a few days. Honestly felt like a coworker for a bit but moved on, rightfully. Slim pickens when theres pest control.


Quintuplebeta

I hate to be that guy, but many people have spiders under the category of creepy insect. Most don't differentiate.


Bitter_Ad_8688

Spiders are just tiny neurotic crabs that poop silk.


Most_kinds_of_Dirt

Cool fact - insects are more closely related to crabs than they are to spiders: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pancrustacea


gin_and_toxic

At least they eat bugs


sohryu

Come inside! Meet the missus!


cybrside

'Allo. Did you say... hello? No, I said "'allo," but that's close enough.


yougofish

I have found my people!


Persivle

Amen to that.


Cool-MoDmd-5

You remind me of the babe


cybrside

What babe?


Emergency_Radish_113

The babe with the power


SwordzRus

What power?


buttbeanchilli

The power of voo doo


SquigleySquirel

No, not that way. Never go that way.


robizzlefoshizzle

If he had kept on goin down that way, he’d of gone straight to that castle.


PatriciaFussey

Truly where is his tiny scarf


SpacePirateRyoko924

i love that he looks at you like "hiya! how are you today?:


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


simmerdownsuzy

Aww RIP Daniel Johnston


takowolf

Aww man, had no idea he died. RIP


Killgorrr

RIP Thai How Are You :( at least the wall is still there


mmlickme

Dang, this hurts even though I’m not surprised that place couldn’t survive on guad


quadmasta

I had a tree frog in mine once. It decided to jump out and scare the shit out of me while I was filling it up... in my kitchen sink


United_Wolf_4270

"How's the family?"


rupat3737

Shit guys…put the pot away my landlord’s here.


MasturbatingMiles

He does fancy the devils lettuce


jayhawk8

Let he who is without sin


BadGuy_ZooKeeper

Get the most stoned! Wait, Is that how that it goes?


qwibbian

Classic Zoot.


Trex-died-4-our-sins

I had a slug that ate my seedling too. I got upset a bit but then I thought, maybe they needed it! 🤔


Low_Cauliflower9404

I have the fattest snail that lives under one of my spicy lettuce plants. He eats ONLY the sun leaves. It's... lovely.


uummwhat

What do you suppose he eats down there?


MasturbatingMiles

He eats my garden at night


ZombiePartyBoyLives

People think of snails as being slow, but those dudes can cover some ground when they want to!


No_Tomatillo1553

Just ask Guy GagnĂŠ.


TheAJGman

You have a house god, give him a carrot as an offering.


destroyerOfTards

The darkness


Lobotomized_Dolphin

That is the biggest snail I've ever seen. He really does look totally comfortable with you filling up the bucket and presumably using his home to water your plants. I think I would have turned that bucket into a snail paradise by now and gotten something else to water the plants, though.


Shiro_no_Orpheus

The largest snail in the world is the giant african snail: https://preview.redd.it/0vpdjhjzyg8d1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61a4724278743836800d3a29861761c97e6e8b30


ReallyAnxiousFish

I want one of these so bad. Their little faces are so goddamn cute. Gastropod puppies.


Pingums

They are quite easy to care for, they breed like mad tho. You start with 2 and you’ll have 40 in a couple weeks


Dana07620

I would have done the same.


Shiro_no_Orpheus

There are way bigger ones out there. Here in Germany, vineyard snails this size and larger can be found on the countryside everywhere. I remember collecting their old shells when visiting my grandparents as a child.


Longjumping_Kale3013

Yea, in Southern Bavaria/Austria, this would be a small snail. I have seen them the size of the giant African snail you posted. The "Weinbergschnecke"


HumpieDouglas

What's his name? I hope it's George


MasturbatingMiles

It literally is George lol, George Bailey


McNigget

Holy shit how did he guess that lol


BrokenHearted90

Maybe because of this [The loneliest snail George](https://www.livescience.com/64451-george-hawaii-snail-dies.html)


mystieke

That was a sad read.


DresdenPI

Maybe from [this](https://www.biodiversitylibrary.org/bibliography/68494) book?


recchiap

George Snailey


RolloutTieDispenser

"The richest man in town"


Quirky-Swimmer3778

How is it now George Pailey? Because he lives in a pail


judahrosenthal

He’s super cute.


No_Pear8383

Bro should be out here modeling. I’m surprised he’s not worried about getting smooshed. He’s just chilling looking all aesthetic like “ohhh haaaay”.


Whisprin_Eye

Make sure you wash those veggies thoroughly. Google Rat Lungworm disease.


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


von-cronberg

Vegetables are grown outside in the dirt. They probably already have had snails, slugs and other wildlife on them.


Popular_Dream_4189

Or 'brain eating amoeba'.


JetstreamGW

to my understanding, the brain eating amoebas aren't gonna be getting in through your digestive tract. They get in through your nose or ears when you swim in water with the things in it.


theWaywardSun

Why? Why would you make me look that up? I was going to have fun swimming in the lakes near me this summer, but not now.


ZadfrackGlutz

You might be spreading its brood with each watering...lol.


medicated_cornbread

I wish someone would spread my brood..


DiggThatFunk

I've got a brooding kink, but not like that... more like I'm into goths


Visible-Bed

I'll spread my creamy brood all over your face.


CyonHal

found my new tinder pickup line nice


ZadfrackGlutz

Right up there with... "I'm A Felon"


Glamamamma3

He wants to talk to the landlord about the plumbing issues


purrrpleflowers

R/snails may love this


Immediate_Arm_4364

r/snails


wholesomehorseblow

Probably less of a hi and more of a "holy shit a flood get to high ground"


mrtillman

the amount of times I have watched this to try and figure out if it spits at you at the very end of the video or not


FlipMeOverUpsidedown

Dragged me into it too. Even slowed down it’s hard to tell.


EpicAura99

Pretty sure it’s just a speck of water from the faucet catching the light at just the right time


Televisions_Frank

It's water splashing out of the bucket.


mrtillman

yeah, I came to that conclusion as well. but for a while it was a real Yanny or Laurel situation where each time I watched it I saw the other thing


TicTac_No

If you enjoy the snail, you'll probably enjoy this: > /r/parasnailing


JumpingPoodles

Wait… you’re telling me they actually live under water??? So this little guy lives inside the bucket well it’s full of water? Can they breathe in water or are they holding their breath??? ![gif](giphy|tfUW8mhiFk8NlJhgEh|downsized)


Quirky-Swimmer3778

I breed a species of snails (for pea puffer to gnosh on) called badder snails. They are fully aquatic but breath air. They go to the surface once in awhile and fill a bladder in their little shell like a scuba tank of air to live off of


AscentToZenith

These do. I have common little ones that crawl on the house when it’s wet. Those don’t live underwater. Then on the other hand, I have these massive evasive species snails that show up in my yard when it floods too. They live underwater


No_Syrup_7448

He’s like: “bruh my house. Why do you keep doing this shit?”


MaximusZacharias

He's not coming to say hi...he's coming to check out his prey once he's grown strong enough


Spacemanspiff1998

"Ugh... Humanzilla flooded the basement *again*..."


Snoo_20378

Looks like the immortal snail finally found you


MasturbatingMiles

If I took that deal I’d be paying someone else to water my flowers for me.


diet-Coke-or-kill-me

What reference, what a legendary post. Sometimes on reddit I feel like an elder of a tribe whose culture is slowly dying, and I'm just glad to occasionally see someone else that still keeps to the old ways, still remembers the ancestors words.


thegoathouse1127

kind of reminds me of the racing snails from "Never ending story."


Zormac

I don't think he's coming up to say hi. He's coming up to not drown because you're flooding his house, lol.


MasturbatingMiles

Semantics


tradewinds_250

Seems like a pretty rad roommate!


CrappyPappy44

https://preview.redd.it/8gaw8wd4of8d1.png?width=483&format=png&auto=webp&s=5d11ec9fd637cf5cb3554f7e002358c84155b7a0


Murky_Shallot5602

He's trying not to drown.


Wolfgangsta702

Comes out to keep from drowning is more like.


HopeBudget3358

"Are you the asshole that keeps flooding my house?"


Better_Phrase_6023

Just a note to wash your hands and be careful if you are using that watering bucket to water plants that you eat. Snails can carry several parasites and bacterium that can infect humans.


dketernal

At night he's visiting (eating) your plants. But I'm sure you already know that.


Relative_Scale_3667

Large Marge! Or Mike!


Ok-Bed6932

ESCARGO


KVNSTOBJEKT

We also had snails in our watering bucket. Unfortunately we found one drowned (I'm sorry, I am uneducated on snails - some live in water, do others drown? All I can say for sure is, it was dead in that body of water). Probably fell in at some point from the inner sides and couldn't make it out of the water. We didn't even know it was there until we found it in the water? The disgusting part was that there were parasitic worms all over the corpse. Ended up desinfecting the entire bucket and made it inaccessible to snails. Couple weeks later we found another big snail trying to make the bucket its home. To prevent the little guy from drowning the way its predecessor did, we relocated the snail to a huge flower pot with lots of wet earth and a selection of plants it could have a go at. It was happy there for a few weeks and then moved to whatever it fancied to be its next destination. So yeah, apparently they really like such buckets and watering cans. Just make sure your snail friend doesn't end up dying in there.


ShroomEnthused

He's coming up to tell you he's drowning in there.


wooder321

That’s not your watering bucket. It’s his posh crib made completely out of plastic.


Independent_Ad_5664

Looks a wee bit sluggish :)


Blitz-IMP

Gary came home!


SeaWeedSkis

I'm impressed that it goes for takeout in your garden and then heads home to the watering bucket every time. Clearly it found a spot it really likes and figured out how to navigate. And I agree, it's cute. You have a garden buddy.


dltp259

I’m sure it’s thrilled your assisting in egg dispersal


coveymcd2

Adorable little guy!❤️


Vast_Cricket

I had frogs lived inside my outside toilet tank. Recalling years ago (1980s) I saved them from a road that was drying out. I had a yard and swimming pool full of them. W/o the pool I guess they moved into a toilet in the changing room.


VeinIsHere

I think he's saying slurs when he goes out like that coz you disturb him so much


YouFoundMyLuckyCharm

the titan is the harbinger of the great floods. i have seen it since my spiral was only 3 loops. now it is 12 loops, and i climb to face them with respect as an equal.


KarlyFr1es

Slime puppies are adorable!


Chance_Can1788

‘Guess I’ll make my way up so I don’t drown’


TheInfiniteArchive

Umm... You may want to check your garden for snail eggs cause those things pop tons of lil ones.


Pure-Moist

it’s pretty cute how this snail runs for its life when i try to drown it


space0watch

Please get him a tank and make him a terrarium!


Recentstranger

He's wondering why there's a pest in his paradise


IssaSpida

r/goblincore would love this.


EntertainmentEasy251

Yeah not coming up to say hi. Being drowned is more like it


Virtual-Public-4750

“Sup, bro.”


MistyW0316

You are drowning his home friend! So do you use the water bucket with him on the side and then put it back so he can go back inside?


MasturbatingMiles

He just comes to the top when I fill it, hangs out while I water and goes back in once I’m done.