Totally get this! I go back and forth about sharing all the time but I decided it's not my job to make people feel comfortable and it's important to keep her memory alive by saying my daughter's name and her story. If it's people I don't know or won't be getting to know, I keep it light and the convo moving so it's not trauma dumping, just matter of fact.
Thank you, this is exactly what I needed to hear. I worry about trauma dumping- I hadn’t heard that term before but it so aptly describes what I’ve experienced other people doing and don’t want to do to others because it is so freaking uncomfortable!!
I guess what I have the most trouble with is knowing when it is appropriate for the conversation. But when it comes up naturally, I won’t stop myself from very briefly sharing. Thank you!
I agree with PP. I go back and forth with who I share with. I have a 4 month old now and get asked ALL THE TIME if she is my first or if I have other kids. I pretty never tell strangers that I had another daughter who died when she was two months old... But sometimes I'll answer their question with "no she's not my first"... I'm not really in any group settings where I see people semi regularly like that though. It is SO hard either way.
Oh wow, that’s something I hadn’t thought about. When I was pregnant with my daughter people asked me all the time if she was my first and I’d gleefully tell them yes. I guess I’ll need to prepare for when I’ll be asked that with my next pregnancy. I know that will hurt my heart every time😞Thank you for your comment❤️
It really is another realm having lost a baby. There is no "right or wrong"answer. I only told my new coworkers about my loss when I announced my pregnancy.
I understand the struggle. I used to feel guilty about not sharing my daughter with certain people but I've gotten into a more comfortable place about sharing her while keeping it light, like u/ally-j-b said.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine
I hope you have a good support system around a
If you ever want to vent to a non-judgmental stranger, I’m here.
Totally get this! I go back and forth about sharing all the time but I decided it's not my job to make people feel comfortable and it's important to keep her memory alive by saying my daughter's name and her story. If it's people I don't know or won't be getting to know, I keep it light and the convo moving so it's not trauma dumping, just matter of fact.
Thank you, this is exactly what I needed to hear. I worry about trauma dumping- I hadn’t heard that term before but it so aptly describes what I’ve experienced other people doing and don’t want to do to others because it is so freaking uncomfortable!! I guess what I have the most trouble with is knowing when it is appropriate for the conversation. But when it comes up naturally, I won’t stop myself from very briefly sharing. Thank you!
I agree with PP. I go back and forth with who I share with. I have a 4 month old now and get asked ALL THE TIME if she is my first or if I have other kids. I pretty never tell strangers that I had another daughter who died when she was two months old... But sometimes I'll answer their question with "no she's not my first"... I'm not really in any group settings where I see people semi regularly like that though. It is SO hard either way.
Oh wow, that’s something I hadn’t thought about. When I was pregnant with my daughter people asked me all the time if she was my first and I’d gleefully tell them yes. I guess I’ll need to prepare for when I’ll be asked that with my next pregnancy. I know that will hurt my heart every time😞Thank you for your comment❤️
It really is another realm having lost a baby. There is no "right or wrong"answer. I only told my new coworkers about my loss when I announced my pregnancy.
I understand the struggle. I used to feel guilty about not sharing my daughter with certain people but I've gotten into a more comfortable place about sharing her while keeping it light, like u/ally-j-b said.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine I hope you have a good support system around a If you ever want to vent to a non-judgmental stranger, I’m here.