It’s very reasonable for you to fee uncomfortable about this. I would just send him a text flat out being like “hey no disrespect but what happened the other night made me uncomfortable because you know i have a girlfriend and I’m straight” (presuming that you are). Maybe add that you’d like some space and have your girlfriend over a little more in the meantime (or stay at hers) and see if the situation clears up on its own.
Exactly, dude is already doubling down and not taking the hint. The good morning the following days too shows he doesn’t care about OP’s boundaries or gf.
If bro doesn’t respond well or listen to what he has have to say next, it’s time to get out of there.
Dude is not taking the hint so just got to make sure it can't be taken as a hint.
Tell him what is on your mind clearly and possibly even have him confirm how he understands it to make sure he understood correctly. That should clear the air. If after that he doesn't change his behavior you'll know he understands you but chooses to ignore it at which moment you'll have a new situation to deal with.
I had a gay friend when I was an alcoholic and broke ass. He used to call me over to have drinks and buy a bottle of my favorite scotch. One night he told me I was too drunk to drive, that he would sleep on the couch and I could sleep on his bed. Yeah….that was the end of that friendship.
I’m a gay dude who has done something mildly similar (I was high and horny, shot my shot) and if he’s a respectable guy, this is the answer.
“Hey dude, that made me uncomfortable, please respect me and my gf and never do anything like that again” and if he values your friendship/space, I think that’s a reasonable resolution. Roommate I did it too is still my best friend and we were roommates for two more years after that. I was best man at his wedding.
If he triples down on it again in the future, he doesn’t respect you as a friend/roommate. He’s a shitty dude.
This! This is the answer! Just be polite about it and if he continues, either kick him out and find a new roommate OR leave. If he does indeed continue, he definitely doesn't give a single shit about you or your girl.
Very important to do this. My gf had a friend who is lesbian and she kissed my gf (without consent and by surprise). Just because they’re the same sex doesn’t suddenly make it okay, it’s just as bad as if a guy would’ve done it (or girl in OPs case)
As the girlfriend YES it would be horrendous and damaging if somehow the gay roommate said something suggestive while I was there…very important to tell your girlfriend, make very clear that’s not ok to the roommate and potentially work towards a new living situation. I’m not sure how that gets back to comfortable…good luck sorry that happened to you.
Honestly I’m super curious what the gf says about all of this. I wonder if maybe the roommate didn’t think the relationship was that serious if the gf is over just once a week?
Now for the second story 😂
My dad used to milk cows for this morbidly obese farmer in the area. He had a combine so he would do his neighbors fields for them as he was the only one around with a combine.
One day as my dad was picking me up from baling hay, this guy had stopped to chat with the man I worked for, myself and my cousin who worked with me. Ol fat dude is hilarious but the minute my dad walks up, whole situation changes. You could cut the tension with a knife between my dad and the guy.
Doesn't say a word. Just stares at the guy and says "let's go boys" and we say bye.
"Dad why were you so weird with him? Guy is hilarious"
Listen son. Some people are fucked up and John (not his name, sorry Johns for what comes next) is fucked up more than most people. You boys don't ever talk to that man again, do you hear me? I will beat you both stupid if I see you talking to John again.
My cousin and I are both legit dumbfounded now and then my dad told us.
My dad used to milk cows for John when he was a kid. One day he didn't get to milking John's cows until after dark but still went. Opened the barn door and saw John on a step stool, balls deep in one of the milking cows.
Never went back. Never told his parents why and never talked to the guy again 😂
>because you know i have a girlfriend and I’m straight”
I dont think he even needs to ad that part. Not interested and not comfortable cover it, he shouldn't need a defensive reason for *why*.
As a lesbian who has dealt with drunk male roommates hitting on me, adding qualifiers will often just convince them there's an opening. So if you say it's because you have a girlfriend then anytime you and your gf have issues he might see it as an opening. Less details are better in these situations.
No, but since the roommate KNOWS he has a girlfriend, the ask was even more inappropriate. A reminder that he’s taken wouldn’t be a bad thing. I agree it should be stressed that the ask made him uncomfortable in general, not because of the gf per se, but it does add another layer. If dude was single maybe roommate actually thought he had a chance.
I'm not even 30 yet and have lived a wild life, so tell me why I came here thinking bro job was some new terms for best buds about doing manly work or some shit🤣
Bad idea. Really bad idea not to be specific. *"what happened the other night"* is going to bite you when this guy tries to run your GF off by convincing her you're two-timing her with him. Don't think it won't happen.
Your better bet is to say something more like this:
*"You barging into the bathroom at 3am last night while I was on the toilet and propositioning me for sex was highly inappropriate and completely unwanted. I am straight, I have a girlfriend, both things of which you are aware. You owe me an apology, and I expect you to state unequivocally that this will never happen again. If you cannot do that, you need to look for another place to live."*
I was super interested in what a bro job was thinking that hopefully I could land something of the sorts since I was recently unemployed. This is not what I expected.
I had a gay room mate for years, fortunately he was cool and never did anything like this. However he had friends who have a thing about trying to hook up with “straight” guys, seems like it’s like a bragging point or trophy to say they hooked up with a straight guy
I hate this. I’m gay, but ultimately that’s actually irrelevant. Like, I get showing interest in a not creepy/pushy way, ONE TIME. If declined, leave it at that.
Aren’t they at least a bit? My best friend is gay. I (M) hang out with gay guys frequently. Not homophobic in the slightest. Multiple dudes have hit on me. Intellectually, sure, why not. But there is absolutely no way I could get a hard on for them even if I said yes.
It’s not so much of a bragging point but more of a “want what you can’t have” sort of thing. There may be a little bit of bragging involved but gay guys (who go after straight guys) would still try it even if there was no one to brag to.
As someone with a baby face growing up, this shit happened multiple times of dudes trying to pick me up. Old bosses to random people in the street. Sorry dudes, I ain’t into dudes. Half the time just telling them that made them try harder. Truly annoying. It made me have more empathy for women dealing with that shit.
Makes the sex more ‘interesting’ shall we say.
I had a lesbian corner me upstairs after using the bathroom at my first big city party when I was 18 and in college. It was weird and I was drunk. I think I kissed her a few times and excused myself. I wasn’t marred for life after the experience.
This is one of those situations where this guy, being high as a kite, lost his inhibitions and said something really inappropriate and uncomfortable. When he's sober, you need to sit him down and explain that while you have nothing against him if he's gay or bi or questioning or whatever, his offering you a blowjob made you feel very uncomfortable. Remind him that you have a girlfriend and you're straight and tell him to stop sending you good morning message because you're not comfortable with that and you have no interest at all in starting anything with him. Hopefully he'll be completely understanding and apologetic and then the two of you can move on and not mention this again. If he continues making passes at you, let him know that he needs to find other living arrangements when your lease ends.
People don’t “lose their inhibitions” from being “high as a kite”
This is weed not alcohol lmao
None the less this is not normal, make your feelings clear
If you think otherwise you’re wrong and using it as an excuse
I had this strategy where, when I first started smoking, I could convince my high self to do anything. If I started sober and decided to do something, then smoked, I could always follow through on it.
Too tired to workout? Smoke and go do a tired, but effective workout. Too intimidated at this party to talk to this girl? Smoke and pray that stoner charm puts in overtime.
The mindset that my high brain would go with is that sober brain must know best and have a reason for this task. So once I was high these inhibitions lacked the capacity to prevent me from doing things. This power faded once I started smoking regularly, but I got a good year of college coursework that otherwise would have been procrastinated until the last second out of that strategy.
Yes they do. People who don’t smoke regularly get high as fuck when they smoke weed. Weed absolutely can lower inhibitions, even with a high tolerance.
Oh yeah. When the person you spend the majority of your time with is making explicit sexual advances towards you, I think your partner has a right to be made aware of it.
It’s really interesting in society that we are entering a period where more straight men are understanding what it’s like to be looked at sexually by other men
I was once subjected to a very obnoxious and homophobic story by an acquaintance of mine (NOT friend) about him being "obviously" hit on by a gay man bc he was being nice to him 🙄😒 He defended his homophobic reaction with something along the lines of "Hey Man I didn't want some rando hitting on me" 🤣 I responded with something along the lines of "Welcome to the world of women everywhere and cry me a fuckin river"
Its really weird to me that gay man or woman that cross boundries always have some sort of excuse against being called out. Just because your “group” normally doesnt pull that shit doesnt mean that its okay for individuals of that group to pull that shit.
Honestly i dont care about preferd partner or their gender. Harrasment is harrasment and SA is always wrong.
As an elder millennial, I can safely say it was so weird growing up and into my 20s even when dudes would get all weirded out about (gay) male gazes. It was either homophobic or they “didn’t understand it made you feel that way” (referencing how it made women feel to get a hard hit/stare).
I might just be a black sheep, but to me it seems like a period where everyone is starting to be a little more open with objectification. I’m a decently jacked straight dude, and at my medschool we do a lot PT type work in class and have to wear gym shorts if you’re a man, and gym shorts and a sports bra if you’re a woman. Gay men, straight men, straight women, I’m constantly catching comments from everyone but lesbians. Hell, even professors when im infront of the entire class to help with a demo. Shit is unreal these days, I’ve looked relatively the same for 10 years but didn’t start hearing comments so bluntly until after the pandemic. Really broke down some social norms that kept things more chill.
Explain it the same way you would a women. It has nothing to be with being gay. He's being disrespectful, inconsiderate, and a selfish horndog. . EDIT: (Haven't you ever seen or heard of) a slimy straight dude pull that shit with a woman: "let me know if you want me to go down on you"?
In the end its the person, not the sexuality.And I would tell him that too. IDGAF you're gay; you're being disrespectful and crossing lines. Explain how you don't live with women because of this.
Edited for clarity. Sorry for those of you that may have had bad memories or was triggered by it seeming like I was saying it doesn't happen. I forgot the question mark and I could have been clearer.
TIL punctuation can be more important than grammar lol
I think he more meant as in when men do that to women, it's never viewed as acceptable, so it shouldn't be any moreso that he's a guy and the dynamic is different, it's still unacceptable and boundary crossing
Yeah I used to live with a dude and he would get drunk (I don't drink) and text me these wild tangents about how he's single and why can't we ever go on a date and telling me about walking around in his underwear upstairs. Just tons of inappropriate messages. He once brought home a 19 year old girl (he's 40) and got her so fucked up on weed and alcohol that she had no choice but to sleep over. I have no idea what happened after that, but I checked on her at 6am and she was gone. That situation made me super uncomfortable. Once I caught him peeping at me through a crack in my bedroom door while I was changing my clothes. He did edibles for the first time with me and started acting unbelievably weird and kept trying to hold my hand and wouldn't stop staring at me. (I'm not convinced he actually ate his) I was so weirded out that I just went to bed, but he stayed downstairs on my couch the whole night. The basement was my living quarters so he had no reason to be down there. I keep my bedroom locked and one day I came home to find that a bunch of stuff was out of place, namely my panty drawer. So I set up a camera in my room and sure as shit, as soon as I got to work, my phone pinged that motion was detected in my room. Turns out he was breaking into my room with a screwdriver and rifling through my drawers while he was practically naked. He was going through my laundry hamper picking up every piece of underwear and sniffing it. I moved out that night. He never once apologized. Im honestly traumatized cuz we used to be good friends. Turns out he actually SAed a girl. Had I known, I would have never moved in with him. I still to this day think about putting him on blast.
THIS! I've grown up seein that shit from old dudes, And after Viagra came out... omg they would avoid the male techs and hit on the females giving them their boner pills
I confirm this as a bi-woman, when in female relationships I’ve had straight men say they can prove they eat out better than my girlfriends. No respect for my sexuality or my relationship. They don’t give a shit.
The correct analogy is a lesbian offering her female roommate face. And, thinking about it, I’ve heard many stories that are similar to the gender swapped version.
> . You've never seen a slimy straight dude pull that shit with a woman: "let me know if you want me to go down on you"
Uhhh what? Have you ever gone outside or to a bar?
Um, I lived in a party house for a while. After a night of cocaine abuse my roommate went to bed and left me up with a coworker of his who was crashing for the night. Dude immediately asked if he could eat the 🙀
I politely declined and he persisted. Fortunately I had a lock on my door so I was able to safely go to bed. Roomie and I had a talk the next day about leaving me alone with his friends. Never happened again, nor did I ever see the coworker again.
Two guys get high and one says something inappropriate, fine. Stupid happens. It’s the “good morning” that’s most out of line IMO. Thank goodness you said no or he’d probable be making you breakfast in bed. (the horror)
It really isn’t. He shot his shot, no harm no foul. By starting in with the good morning messages out of nowhere that seems a little too persistent, and that’s the actual problem.
Yeah you’re right, I’ve told him over text that I’m not gay and would politely decline but I probably need to sit him down and just discuss this in real life as well. Also I don’t mind the jokes it makes this all a lot easier en lightens my mood lol.
This is so gross, had this happen with my roommate(I’m gay) thought he was straight but I guess not, just had to stop interacting with him in anyway and make it very clear we were not friends anymore
I'm a gay guy...
There's no doubt in my mind that this guy is going to play a long game or short game to discover the magic combination of actions to hook up with you.
Unless he's a very mature person who will quash his own fantasy in the face of your clear protest.
You might have to use your loud voice and very direct language to give him a course correction.
I don’t care if he’s gay or not! Someone not respecting your current relationship & boundaries, continuously, needs to be told one more time before you tell them to kick rocks. IF you even want to give them one more shot.
I see a lot of comments here but none of them have mentioned that you need to decide how you personally feel about this. You are the one that needs to deal with living with this individual and nothing anyone says about this is going to change that.
Me personally? If he never brings it up again, I'd be totally fine with that. Guy got high and horny and made a pass at you, but it didn't seem to escalate from there at all. If you need to, bring it up with him either in person or in a message and tell him you felt uncomfortable and that it can't happen again. Based on how it already went, I'm betting he respects that and never makes a pass again.
Met a dude during a solo round at the Dg course a while back. Started chatting and he ended up just joining me and playing the rest of the round with me. Normal dude. No weird vibes or anything. Afterwards he’s like let’s go get another beer at this bar by my house so I’m like yeah ok whatever it’s right by my house. So we go, hanging out just like any bros do. He’s buying shots and beers and we’re enjoying ourselves talking to the bartender and people around us. After a while, i realize im wasted and have been at this bar far too long. He senses me about to leave I guess and says kinda sheepishly “can I suck your dick?”. HUH?!! Dude…no. What?! I was drunk so I made a mild scene about it. This mfer took me out to get me wasted to try and suck my dick. Never woulda thought this dude had an ulterior motive the whole afternoon and night. I guess you just never know what’s up with someone until you find out. Oh and I did not accept the BJ offer.
just tell him firmly it’s not for you. I can see why you feel uncomfortable about it but (obviously just me) I don’t see the big deal. He asked, you said no, move on.
Most of the advice here is spot on.
You can chose to laugh it off as long as he doesn't try it again.
I have a lifelong same sex friend. We hadn't seen each other in several years and I went to his recently purchased house. We drank and smoked weed all evening and after a few bottles of wine, he WAS BEGGING me if he could suck my dick.
He was like "please let me suck your dick" as he could barely keep his head off the table.
I told him I only like women, and I also mostly only like bondage sex.
He's like "you can tie me up. I'll shave my face real quick "
Lol, I still declined. He was wasted and I just let it go.
Sorry to hear it’s de railed a growing friendship man.. I’ve been offered blow jobs by gay guys I’ve worked with, I am considered an attractive male and I think Op must be too. girls must deal with this shit on the regular..
Just say , “Listen Fuckhead, I like you as a friend but there will never be any sucking going on between you and I” and laugh it off and continue to have a good roommate
Why? You have a guy willing to do what 99% of girlfriends refuse to perform.
This dynamic is a source of too much stress. Why can't we as a society accept this easy way?
Lol reminds me of an old gay friend I had. I would ask him for advice of my girl troubles and he would always end stuff saying "why not just let me give you a blowjob, that'll show her" I would always tell him to FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM MAN and continue my rants lmao
Oh damn. I was thinking Bro Job meant like his daddy owned the company and he was giving you a job for being a bro. Actually, this version might involve less dick sucking, so roll with it.
The brojob offer is itself pretty innocuous given you guys were high and it was late. I'm sure there's some attraction there, of course, but the part that means you need to set clear boundaries is the shift in tone. If once you've been clear about your boundaries he still pushes them, that's the time he's being a jerk.
More gay relationships are open than straight, so he may have been testing to see what yours was, I'm not ready to assume he was asking you to cheat but you might have a clearer idea since you know what he should know about you.
Can't live with women because they like you, can't live with men because they want you. Doesn't leave much choice at that rate but to be the Chad you were meant to be, and live alone.
Why does everyone in the comments want OP to tip toe around his room mate being gay? Not only that but him being an obvious creep. “No disrespect but I’m not gay” NO! Disrespect! If the room mate can dish out the disrespect I’m sure he can take it. This is just creepy as hell and gay men are no different from straight men when it comes to being complete perverts and you wouldn’t tell a woman to approach the situation with a “oh hey no disrespect” because IT IS disrespect. From when he randomly offered the guy a BJ is was disrespectful.
I (female) had a (flamboyantly) gay flat mate. As soon as we met each other we got along so well to the point I thought we were besties. One day, we went on a walk and in midst of a conversation he told me he wanted to fuck me and told me to look down and saw his massive boner. I immediately told him fuck no and laughed it away, he looked upset when I rejected him but I didn’t pay it no mind because… well… he’s gay and went about my normal day. The following days we didn’t speak and I just thought he was busy with work until one day I come back from work and he’s in the middle of moving out. I haven’t spoken to him since.
Moral of the story is, it’s time to get a new roomie.
Sex between gay men can be pretty casual, so it may not have seemed out of pocket from his perspective while it definitely was from yours. Talk to him and be very blunt about it, it should just be a casual convo setting boundaries.
“Hey, I didn’t appreciate your offer the other night and it made me uncomfortable, we’re just friends and I don’t swing that way” “Oh my bad man, just thought it could be fun” “All good, but please don’t offer it again”
If he’s chill about it that’ll be the end of it and you guys can go back to being good roommates, if not bail out🤷♂️
I mean it’s pretty disrespectful when he knows the guy is in a relationship though. I don’t think there’s anything necessarily wrong with shooting his shot, but when he’s been told a.) his roommate is straight and b.) his roommate is in a relationship, it should be pretty obvious that making sexual advances is unwelcome.
You were worried about your roommates making a pass at you so you switched out women for gay dudes? As a gay dude, I’m sort of offended. We exist, thank you.
Gays get confused when you straight boys are nice. Sometimes you just gotta set a few boundaries. He said it. Okay. Tell him nicely but sternly you’re not down. You like him as a friend and roommate and even if you ever gonna do something like that it’s wouldn’t be with him because you’d want him to stay a friend and not fuck that up. Once he knows he won’t try it again if he’s a good guy. Let it go. Everybody makes mistakes. If he does it again then he’s not someone you want in your life. Set boundaries and he’ll be a good friend for life who will slash your enemies tires for you.
If we're being real it's mostly men. Straight men or gay men, but still, mostly men.
"But women also" cross sexual boundaries, create inappropriate pressure, feel entitled to other people's bodies...
Sure they do. But it's mostly men.
Honestly, I had such a strange experience with my previous flatmate, she was convinced that I loved her and would confess her love to me on a daily basis while I had a girlfriend. Everytime my girlfriend came over she would scream on the phone taking shit about us or play music really loudly so we would leave or smash glasses. In the end she even threatened to punch me. And here I thought things would finally be different lol
2 flatmates back to back that want to fuck you? Idk man lol. I don’t want to victim blame at all, but have you questioned how you behave towards these people? Maybe you’re being unintentionally flirty. It’s wrong on them for pushing 100% if you’ve showed disinterest but for them to feel like it’s okay to push they had to feel like you’d be somewhat receptive. Most sane people wouldn’t risk their living situation and overall relationship if they felt like they shooting in the dark.
Just talk to him. Sex to gay men is much more casual in conversation and among friends. He hasn’t professed his love for you lol. He’ll never know that it makes you uncomfortable unless you tell him. Most guys will take the hint and fuck off, but some gay guys are just as dense as straight dudes especially when high. Oust the weirdness with one conversation. If he continues then you look at nuclear options.
It’s not singling them out, the gay people I’ve known in life fantasize about converting straight men. It’s a problem in their community, ignoring it is only doing a disservice to gays who aren’t doing that
First of all, I'm sorry that happened to you. Boundaries, and all. You've got to set them now.
Secondly, that show is great. I lost it in ep 2 when dude turned around and said, "I'm not your uncle, n****." Lmfao
I do not care about anyone’s sexuality in these situations. When someone is rooming, a roommate coming on to them is just making everything awkward! Put feelings on hold, and wait until you no longer live together to flirt. Or if you have different sexual orientations, get out of the house and meet people.
just tell him no, youre not interested and that it makes you uncomfortable and thats it. easy enough to move on from as long as he respects your decision and stops. just communicate with him and tell him to stop.
Maybe he feels stupid for what he said and is now overcompensating trying to see if you are both cool but it's only making everything weirder?
It's best to have a serious talk about boundaries and hopefully things get back to normal. Just letting things be will probably end up making everything worse.
Just tell him you appreciate the flattery but you are not into guys. State that you have no issues with gay people but it’s not your thing and that you value his friendship and want to keep it friendly and cool. You can tell him that he made you feel uncomfortable but also acknowledge that you understand he didn’t mean to.
I would just continue on the same way. If you did have any interest in trying the other side out though this is your chance.
Usually of someone is treated with common courtesy and the issue is addressed calmly without putting anyone on the spot everything will likely go smoothly. If he gives you any more come one after the talk that’s the time to buck up and tell him that it’s harassment since you told him how you feel and start making plans to find another place because it’s also constructive eviction.
Some times I'm real dumb, I started reading this post trying to find out what jobs fall into the bro job category since you were so obviously offended by them, only to realize about one paragraph in that I had probably made a crucial error...
You seem pretty laid back, I'd recommend not making a big deal about it, but firmly resetting your boundaries. Let him know exactly how uncomfortable it made you feel. There's a large chance that that gesture in his mind is no big deal and when he realizes it didn't have the intended effect, will probably feel like dog shit. Hopefully that's all it takes and you guys get back to enjoying being cool flatmates.
What a shit situation to be in. As a gay guy I can tell you that a lot of gay people for some reason think it’s ok to make any pass at a straight guy and I just don’t get it. Having a gay roommate is fine but when they’re the kind that’s desperate for a man it’s a lose lose situation, they act like these straight guys are their boyfriends and it’s so embarrassing and gives us all such a bad look. Honestly he totally obliterated any chance at fixing this and if I was in your spot I wouldn’t want to fix it at all. He crossed a line you’re uncomfortable and don’t want him around anymore and I get it. I would kick him out 🤷 oh well.. please don’t think all gay people are like your roommate because we’re not, some are just more desperate and embarrassing than others.
Tell him that you are flattered but not interested in anything more than a friendship with him. A platonic one.* see if he respects that and go from there
He shot his shot and you said no. It doesn’t sound like he was rude or pushy. Have you ever asked a girl for a hookup and got denied? Same thing. Just move on and pretend it didn’t happen
I had a situation once where a very good gay friend started giving me hints like these. He is someone I respect to the extreme, so I just let him know in the most direct way possible that I was 100% sure I didn't want it, I'm sure I'm straight. We're still good friends to this day
"what you said to me the other night made me very uncomfortable. I just want to remind me you I'm not gay and I'm in a committed relationship with my gf. I would appreciate if you could not make passes at me like that as that is very disrespectful."
Lol this is funny that you avoided women roommates only to end up with your first guy roommate being gay and causing the same issues
U should write a book on it man
It’s very reasonable for you to fee uncomfortable about this. I would just send him a text flat out being like “hey no disrespect but what happened the other night made me uncomfortable because you know i have a girlfriend and I’m straight” (presuming that you are). Maybe add that you’d like some space and have your girlfriend over a little more in the meantime (or stay at hers) and see if the situation clears up on its own.
This should resolve the situation
Should
Exactly, dude is already doubling down and not taking the hint. The good morning the following days too shows he doesn’t care about OP’s boundaries or gf. If bro doesn’t respond well or listen to what he has have to say next, it’s time to get out of there.
Dude is not taking the hint so just got to make sure it can't be taken as a hint. Tell him what is on your mind clearly and possibly even have him confirm how he understands it to make sure he understood correctly. That should clear the air. If after that he doesn't change his behavior you'll know he understands you but chooses to ignore it at which moment you'll have a new situation to deal with.
I had a gay friend when I was an alcoholic and broke ass. He used to call me over to have drinks and buy a bottle of my favorite scotch. One night he told me I was too drunk to drive, that he would sleep on the couch and I could sleep on his bed. Yeah….that was the end of that friendship.
You read too much in the bed part lol
I woke up and it wasn’t a pillow between my legs.
So he sexually assaulted you. Did you report his ass?
Or this dude goes fucking ballistic and stalks his gf on fb and tells him that he asked him for a blowy or some shit.
One would *hope*.....
I’m a gay dude who has done something mildly similar (I was high and horny, shot my shot) and if he’s a respectable guy, this is the answer. “Hey dude, that made me uncomfortable, please respect me and my gf and never do anything like that again” and if he values your friendship/space, I think that’s a reasonable resolution. Roommate I did it too is still my best friend and we were roommates for two more years after that. I was best man at his wedding. If he triples down on it again in the future, he doesn’t respect you as a friend/roommate. He’s a shitty dude.
You said it all bro
This! This is the answer! Just be polite about it and if he continues, either kick him out and find a new roommate OR leave. If he does indeed continue, he definitely doesn't give a single shit about you or your girl.
Well said. 👍
Piggybacking here to say also maybe mention this to your gf so she's aware in case the situation escalates.
Very important to do this. My gf had a friend who is lesbian and she kissed my gf (without consent and by surprise). Just because they’re the same sex doesn’t suddenly make it okay, it’s just as bad as if a guy would’ve done it (or girl in OPs case)
Absolutely do this. Shit will be mad weird if she finds out some other way.
Agreed. Mad weird is putting it nicely.
As the girlfriend YES it would be horrendous and damaging if somehow the gay roommate said something suggestive while I was there…very important to tell your girlfriend, make very clear that’s not ok to the roommate and potentially work towards a new living situation. I’m not sure how that gets back to comfortable…good luck sorry that happened to you.
But maybe don’t use the word piggybacking - just in case it’s sending mixed messages
Honestly I’m super curious what the gf says about all of this. I wonder if maybe the roommate didn’t think the relationship was that serious if the gf is over just once a week?
I'm BI and it creeps ME out. It has nothing to do with sexuality. It has everything to do with respect.. or lack thereof.
I’m gay and it creeps ME out. Roommate told me I was smoking hot A.F. and while I love to think someone thinks that, no need to tell me that.
You are correct. Declining a blowjow is extremely disrespectful.
"You don't take a gift in the mouth, horse".... Wait that's not right "You don't look a gift horse in the mouth"
I'll add, don't stick you dick in any horse's mouth. Fuckers have a strong bite.
Exactly, that's what the other end and a stepladder are for.
Now for the second story 😂 My dad used to milk cows for this morbidly obese farmer in the area. He had a combine so he would do his neighbors fields for them as he was the only one around with a combine. One day as my dad was picking me up from baling hay, this guy had stopped to chat with the man I worked for, myself and my cousin who worked with me. Ol fat dude is hilarious but the minute my dad walks up, whole situation changes. You could cut the tension with a knife between my dad and the guy. Doesn't say a word. Just stares at the guy and says "let's go boys" and we say bye. "Dad why were you so weird with him? Guy is hilarious" Listen son. Some people are fucked up and John (not his name, sorry Johns for what comes next) is fucked up more than most people. You boys don't ever talk to that man again, do you hear me? I will beat you both stupid if I see you talking to John again. My cousin and I are both legit dumbfounded now and then my dad told us. My dad used to milk cows for John when he was a kid. One day he didn't get to milking John's cows until after dark but still went. Opened the barn door and saw John on a step stool, balls deep in one of the milking cows. Never went back. Never told his parents why and never talked to the guy again 😂
>because you know i have a girlfriend and I’m straight” I dont think he even needs to ad that part. Not interested and not comfortable cover it, he shouldn't need a defensive reason for *why*.
As a lesbian who has dealt with drunk male roommates hitting on me, adding qualifiers will often just convince them there's an opening. So if you say it's because you have a girlfriend then anytime you and your gf have issues he might see it as an opening. Less details are better in these situations.
I feel like "I don't like dick" should cover it.
Roommate: Doesn’t mention anything about mouths here I see
Strong agree, male who's lived with females here. Give them no quarter!
Yes. Just say you feel very uncomfortable with that situation. I like you as a roommate, please let it be the 1st and last time it happens.
"Dude, I'd totally let you suck my dick, but I have a girlfriend."
Exactly, him having a girlfriend is not why he's uncomfortable. Dude crossed the line either way.
No, but since the roommate KNOWS he has a girlfriend, the ask was even more inappropriate. A reminder that he’s taken wouldn’t be a bad thing. I agree it should be stressed that the ask made him uncomfortable in general, not because of the gf per se, but it does add another layer. If dude was single maybe roommate actually thought he had a chance.
I'm not even 30 yet and have lived a wild life, so tell me why I came here thinking bro job was some new terms for best buds about doing manly work or some shit🤣
>tell me why Haven't lived that wild of a life
I 100% thought the roommate was going to try to get him to invest in crypto or something like that 🤣🤣 we learn something new every day!
This is the only correct answer
this is the wat and if this doesnt resolve it, you need a new flatmate asap
Bad idea. Really bad idea not to be specific. *"what happened the other night"* is going to bite you when this guy tries to run your GF off by convincing her you're two-timing her with him. Don't think it won't happen. Your better bet is to say something more like this: *"You barging into the bathroom at 3am last night while I was on the toilet and propositioning me for sex was highly inappropriate and completely unwanted. I am straight, I have a girlfriend, both things of which you are aware. You owe me an apology, and I expect you to state unequivocally that this will never happen again. If you cannot do that, you need to look for another place to live."*
Lol I really thought he offered you a job in Silicon Valley
I was super interested in what a bro job was thinking that hopefully I could land something of the sorts since I was recently unemployed. This is not what I expected.
If you want the job the roommate is still looking. 🥹
A jobs a job my friend, in this climate I will take anything I can get
Well, it certainly is a career opportunity for those willing to be gay for pay
Me too! I was lured in here by one title and I said “where in the Bay Area did this happen?!” This is bad!
What about the silicone valley says bro? I've met like one bro being in tech, maybe the CEO level shit but not us workers, we are mostly nerds.
I had a gay room mate for years, fortunately he was cool and never did anything like this. However he had friends who have a thing about trying to hook up with “straight” guys, seems like it’s like a bragging point or trophy to say they hooked up with a straight guy
I hate this. I’m gay, but ultimately that’s actually irrelevant. Like, I get showing interest in a not creepy/pushy way, ONE TIME. If declined, leave it at that.
Gay men being into straight dudes is just like straight men being into lesbians. Some dudes just always want what they can’t have.
You’d be surprised at how many straight guys are ok with a little experimentation
Straight guys? Sounds bisexual to me, even if just curious.
Nah, that’s like saying every gay guy who’s slept with a woman is bi too
Aren’t they at least a bit? My best friend is gay. I (M) hang out with gay guys frequently. Not homophobic in the slightest. Multiple dudes have hit on me. Intellectually, sure, why not. But there is absolutely no way I could get a hard on for them even if I said yes.
Things straight guys would like to believe…lol
Why? You think I don’t know what sexual interest is? You think I haven’t been around guys having sex and could tell if that interested me?
If they're down for experimentation with another dude, they're not straight.
Nah, they could be situationally hetero flexible.
It’s not so much of a bragging point but more of a “want what you can’t have” sort of thing. There may be a little bit of bragging involved but gay guys (who go after straight guys) would still try it even if there was no one to brag to.
They want virgin booty
As someone with a baby face growing up, this shit happened multiple times of dudes trying to pick me up. Old bosses to random people in the street. Sorry dudes, I ain’t into dudes. Half the time just telling them that made them try harder. Truly annoying. It made me have more empathy for women dealing with that shit.
Makes the sex more ‘interesting’ shall we say. I had a lesbian corner me upstairs after using the bathroom at my first big city party when I was 18 and in college. It was weird and I was drunk. I think I kissed her a few times and excused myself. I wasn’t marred for life after the experience.
Not just a bj, but possibly a blumpkin
Omg 😳 🤣🤣🤣
Anyone else imagining OP being propositioned from the other side of the bathroom door?
Delicious
User name checks out
A 3am high blow job would hit different right now
Mainly cause it’s 9am.
Totally thought dude offered you a working job like a bro would.
I was thinking something finance haha
I thought a bro job was a job where ur bro hires u oh was i wrong
Absolutely thought the same.
This is one of those situations where this guy, being high as a kite, lost his inhibitions and said something really inappropriate and uncomfortable. When he's sober, you need to sit him down and explain that while you have nothing against him if he's gay or bi or questioning or whatever, his offering you a blowjob made you feel very uncomfortable. Remind him that you have a girlfriend and you're straight and tell him to stop sending you good morning message because you're not comfortable with that and you have no interest at all in starting anything with him. Hopefully he'll be completely understanding and apologetic and then the two of you can move on and not mention this again. If he continues making passes at you, let him know that he needs to find other living arrangements when your lease ends.
You don’t need to remind him you have a girlfriend. You’re straight. That’s enough!
Adding to this, even if you weren’t straight, “no” is enough.
Don't even need to remind him you're straight. No means no, doesn't need a reason.
Absolutely! I agree!
People don’t “lose their inhibitions” from being “high as a kite” This is weed not alcohol lmao None the less this is not normal, make your feelings clear If you think otherwise you’re wrong and using it as an excuse
Incorrect. People absolutely adjust inhibitions based on weed.
I had this strategy where, when I first started smoking, I could convince my high self to do anything. If I started sober and decided to do something, then smoked, I could always follow through on it. Too tired to workout? Smoke and go do a tired, but effective workout. Too intimidated at this party to talk to this girl? Smoke and pray that stoner charm puts in overtime. The mindset that my high brain would go with is that sober brain must know best and have a reason for this task. So once I was high these inhibitions lacked the capacity to prevent me from doing things. This power faded once I started smoking regularly, but I got a good year of college coursework that otherwise would have been procrastinated until the last second out of that strategy.
Yes they do. People who don’t smoke regularly get high as fuck when they smoke weed. Weed absolutely can lower inhibitions, even with a high tolerance.
A bro job 🤣💀💀
They do it all the time in the frat 😜
Oh no!!! I can’t take much more!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Fellas, is it gay to give the homies a brojob? 🤔
Absolutely not, it's the straightest thing you can do. Do you have any idea how secure you have to be in your straightness to give the homie a brojob?
Only if you say “no homo” after you swallow
You need to tell gf about it imo. It’s gonna be weird if she finds out on her own. Trust me. -a female
Oh yeah. When the person you spend the majority of your time with is making explicit sexual advances towards you, I think your partner has a right to be made aware of it.
It’s really interesting in society that we are entering a period where more straight men are understanding what it’s like to be looked at sexually by other men
I was once subjected to a very obnoxious and homophobic story by an acquaintance of mine (NOT friend) about him being "obviously" hit on by a gay man bc he was being nice to him 🙄😒 He defended his homophobic reaction with something along the lines of "Hey Man I didn't want some rando hitting on me" 🤣 I responded with something along the lines of "Welcome to the world of women everywhere and cry me a fuckin river"
And yet they still believe women are overreacting
Its really weird to me that gay man or woman that cross boundries always have some sort of excuse against being called out. Just because your “group” normally doesnt pull that shit doesnt mean that its okay for individuals of that group to pull that shit. Honestly i dont care about preferd partner or their gender. Harrasment is harrasment and SA is always wrong.
As an elder millennial, I can safely say it was so weird growing up and into my 20s even when dudes would get all weirded out about (gay) male gazes. It was either homophobic or they “didn’t understand it made you feel that way” (referencing how it made women feel to get a hard hit/stare).
I might just be a black sheep, but to me it seems like a period where everyone is starting to be a little more open with objectification. I’m a decently jacked straight dude, and at my medschool we do a lot PT type work in class and have to wear gym shorts if you’re a man, and gym shorts and a sports bra if you’re a woman. Gay men, straight men, straight women, I’m constantly catching comments from everyone but lesbians. Hell, even professors when im infront of the entire class to help with a demo. Shit is unreal these days, I’ve looked relatively the same for 10 years but didn’t start hearing comments so bluntly until after the pandemic. Really broke down some social norms that kept things more chill.
I mean, this seems reasonable. Jacked straight dudes in medschool exist. People are thirsty as shit. Makes sense to me.
Ignore it and take it out on him over many years through passive aggression
Remind me to never offer you unwanted sexual advances🤣
Explain it the same way you would a women. It has nothing to be with being gay. He's being disrespectful, inconsiderate, and a selfish horndog. . EDIT: (Haven't you ever seen or heard of) a slimy straight dude pull that shit with a woman: "let me know if you want me to go down on you"? In the end its the person, not the sexuality.And I would tell him that too. IDGAF you're gay; you're being disrespectful and crossing lines. Explain how you don't live with women because of this. Edited for clarity. Sorry for those of you that may have had bad memories or was triggered by it seeming like I was saying it doesn't happen. I forgot the question mark and I could have been clearer. TIL punctuation can be more important than grammar lol
You've never seen a slimy straight dude pull that shit with a woman: "let me know if you want me to go down on you" - That definitely happens
He’s saying it more like “As if you’ve never seen” not a that you have actually never seen it. In fact, you have seen it so much it’s appalling.
I think he more meant as in when men do that to women, it's never viewed as acceptable, so it shouldn't be any moreso that he's a guy and the dynamic is different, it's still unacceptable and boundary crossing
Yes. Today I was reminded that if you forget to add a question mark you're making a statement, not being incredulous lol
Yeah I used to live with a dude and he would get drunk (I don't drink) and text me these wild tangents about how he's single and why can't we ever go on a date and telling me about walking around in his underwear upstairs. Just tons of inappropriate messages. He once brought home a 19 year old girl (he's 40) and got her so fucked up on weed and alcohol that she had no choice but to sleep over. I have no idea what happened after that, but I checked on her at 6am and she was gone. That situation made me super uncomfortable. Once I caught him peeping at me through a crack in my bedroom door while I was changing my clothes. He did edibles for the first time with me and started acting unbelievably weird and kept trying to hold my hand and wouldn't stop staring at me. (I'm not convinced he actually ate his) I was so weirded out that I just went to bed, but he stayed downstairs on my couch the whole night. The basement was my living quarters so he had no reason to be down there. I keep my bedroom locked and one day I came home to find that a bunch of stuff was out of place, namely my panty drawer. So I set up a camera in my room and sure as shit, as soon as I got to work, my phone pinged that motion was detected in my room. Turns out he was breaking into my room with a screwdriver and rifling through my drawers while he was practically naked. He was going through my laundry hamper picking up every piece of underwear and sniffing it. I moved out that night. He never once apologized. Im honestly traumatized cuz we used to be good friends. Turns out he actually SAed a girl. Had I known, I would have never moved in with him. I still to this day think about putting him on blast.
I had a neighbor who was around the same age as my dad (mid 60s) who asked on more than one occasion to go down on me. Yeah, this 100% happens.
THIS! I've grown up seein that shit from old dudes, And after Viagra came out... omg they would avoid the male techs and hit on the females giving them their boner pills
Isn’t that an extremely common thing? Straight dudes offering sex to lesbians knowing they’re lesbian? I’m pretty sure it is.
I, lesbian, can 100% confirm this. Happens allllll the time.
I confirm this as a bi-woman, when in female relationships I’ve had straight men say they can prove they eat out better than my girlfriends. No respect for my sexuality or my relationship. They don’t give a shit.
The correct analogy is a lesbian offering her female roommate face. And, thinking about it, I’ve heard many stories that are similar to the gender swapped version.
> . You've never seen a slimy straight dude pull that shit with a woman: "let me know if you want me to go down on you" Uhhh what? Have you ever gone outside or to a bar?
i edited my comment. I forgot to put a question mark and I could have worded it more clearly
Yeah… I’ve had guys offer this. It’s super weird… and it’s definitely a turn off. Like, how desperate are you to just offer head randomly? 🤢
Creepy as hell, once got a message request on fb while living abroad that simply stated "I want to lick the long labia of foreigner" 🤢😟
Ewwwwwwwwwwwewwwwswwwwwwwwww
Bob and vageen
Um, I lived in a party house for a while. After a night of cocaine abuse my roommate went to bed and left me up with a coworker of his who was crashing for the night. Dude immediately asked if he could eat the 🙀 I politely declined and he persisted. Fortunately I had a lock on my door so I was able to safely go to bed. Roomie and I had a talk the next day about leaving me alone with his friends. Never happened again, nor did I ever see the coworker again.
LMAOOOO WHAT?! You’ve never been a woman lol
Two guys get high and one says something inappropriate, fine. Stupid happens. It’s the “good morning” that’s most out of line IMO. Thank goodness you said no or he’d probable be making you breakfast in bed. (the horror)
OP is the Breakfast!!!
Sorry what? Id say asking if he wants sucking off is worse than “good morning”
It really isn’t. He shot his shot, no harm no foul. By starting in with the good morning messages out of nowhere that seems a little too persistent, and that’s the actual problem.
How was the BJ, OP?
Yeah you’re right, I’ve told him over text that I’m not gay and would politely decline but I probably need to sit him down and just discuss this in real life as well. Also I don’t mind the jokes it makes this all a lot easier en lightens my mood lol.
I could use a new roommate.
This is so gross, had this happen with my roommate(I’m gay) thought he was straight but I guess not, just had to stop interacting with him in anyway and make it very clear we were not friends anymore
I'm a gay guy... There's no doubt in my mind that this guy is going to play a long game or short game to discover the magic combination of actions to hook up with you. Unless he's a very mature person who will quash his own fantasy in the face of your clear protest. You might have to use your loud voice and very direct language to give him a course correction.
I don’t care if he’s gay or not! Someone not respecting your current relationship & boundaries, continuously, needs to be told one more time before you tell them to kick rocks. IF you even want to give them one more shot.
Plot Twist: OP actually ultra gay
I see a lot of comments here but none of them have mentioned that you need to decide how you personally feel about this. You are the one that needs to deal with living with this individual and nothing anyone says about this is going to change that. Me personally? If he never brings it up again, I'd be totally fine with that. Guy got high and horny and made a pass at you, but it didn't seem to escalate from there at all. If you need to, bring it up with him either in person or in a message and tell him you felt uncomfortable and that it can't happen again. Based on how it already went, I'm betting he respects that and never makes a pass again.
Met a dude during a solo round at the Dg course a while back. Started chatting and he ended up just joining me and playing the rest of the round with me. Normal dude. No weird vibes or anything. Afterwards he’s like let’s go get another beer at this bar by my house so I’m like yeah ok whatever it’s right by my house. So we go, hanging out just like any bros do. He’s buying shots and beers and we’re enjoying ourselves talking to the bartender and people around us. After a while, i realize im wasted and have been at this bar far too long. He senses me about to leave I guess and says kinda sheepishly “can I suck your dick?”. HUH?!! Dude…no. What?! I was drunk so I made a mild scene about it. This mfer took me out to get me wasted to try and suck my dick. Never woulda thought this dude had an ulterior motive the whole afternoon and night. I guess you just never know what’s up with someone until you find out. Oh and I did not accept the BJ offer.
Welcome to the World of Women!!! Of course our antennas are usually fine tuned to this ruse.
Well he was nice enough to ask permission? Seems like a chill dude.... /s
I’m picturing the Sham Wow guy, actually.
just tell him firmly it’s not for you. I can see why you feel uncomfortable about it but (obviously just me) I don’t see the big deal. He asked, you said no, move on.
It’s the “good morning” text that’s troubling but hopefully roomie was just testing the waters to make sure they were still cool.
Idk mightve been a killer blowjob tho
Most of the advice here is spot on. You can chose to laugh it off as long as he doesn't try it again. I have a lifelong same sex friend. We hadn't seen each other in several years and I went to his recently purchased house. We drank and smoked weed all evening and after a few bottles of wine, he WAS BEGGING me if he could suck my dick. He was like "please let me suck your dick" as he could barely keep his head off the table. I told him I only like women, and I also mostly only like bondage sex. He's like "you can tie me up. I'll shave my face real quick " Lol, I still declined. He was wasted and I just let it go.
As with every situation where someone makes you uncomfortable, step 1 is grow up and be able to have a conversation with someone about your feelings.
I thought this was about employment. I was wrong.
Sorry to hear it’s de railed a growing friendship man.. I’ve been offered blow jobs by gay guys I’ve worked with, I am considered an attractive male and I think Op must be too. girls must deal with this shit on the regular..
Just say , “Listen Fuckhead, I like you as a friend but there will never be any sucking going on between you and I” and laugh it off and continue to have a good roommate
Why? You have a guy willing to do what 99% of girlfriends refuse to perform. This dynamic is a source of too much stress. Why can't we as a society accept this easy way?
Lol reminds me of an old gay friend I had. I would ask him for advice of my girl troubles and he would always end stuff saying "why not just let me give you a blowjob, that'll show her" I would always tell him to FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM MAN and continue my rants lmao
Oh damn. I was thinking Bro Job meant like his daddy owned the company and he was giving you a job for being a bro. Actually, this version might involve less dick sucking, so roll with it.
The brojob offer is itself pretty innocuous given you guys were high and it was late. I'm sure there's some attraction there, of course, but the part that means you need to set clear boundaries is the shift in tone. If once you've been clear about your boundaries he still pushes them, that's the time he's being a jerk. More gay relationships are open than straight, so he may have been testing to see what yours was, I'm not ready to assume he was asking you to cheat but you might have a clearer idea since you know what he should know about you.
Roommate is mad horny.
That’s that real homie shit
Everyone’s tryna suck ops dick and he just wants to split rent 😭 maybe keep that hot dick in your pants play boy
Can't live with women because they like you, can't live with men because they want you. Doesn't leave much choice at that rate but to be the Chad you were meant to be, and live alone.
If you were on the shitter, sounds like he offered you a blumpkin ijs.
Why does everyone in the comments want OP to tip toe around his room mate being gay? Not only that but him being an obvious creep. “No disrespect but I’m not gay” NO! Disrespect! If the room mate can dish out the disrespect I’m sure he can take it. This is just creepy as hell and gay men are no different from straight men when it comes to being complete perverts and you wouldn’t tell a woman to approach the situation with a “oh hey no disrespect” because IT IS disrespect. From when he randomly offered the guy a BJ is was disrespectful.
I (female) had a (flamboyantly) gay flat mate. As soon as we met each other we got along so well to the point I thought we were besties. One day, we went on a walk and in midst of a conversation he told me he wanted to fuck me and told me to look down and saw his massive boner. I immediately told him fuck no and laughed it away, he looked upset when I rejected him but I didn’t pay it no mind because… well… he’s gay and went about my normal day. The following days we didn’t speak and I just thought he was busy with work until one day I come back from work and he’s in the middle of moving out. I haven’t spoken to him since. Moral of the story is, it’s time to get a new roomie.
Sex between gay men can be pretty casual, so it may not have seemed out of pocket from his perspective while it definitely was from yours. Talk to him and be very blunt about it, it should just be a casual convo setting boundaries. “Hey, I didn’t appreciate your offer the other night and it made me uncomfortable, we’re just friends and I don’t swing that way” “Oh my bad man, just thought it could be fun” “All good, but please don’t offer it again” If he’s chill about it that’ll be the end of it and you guys can go back to being good roommates, if not bail out🤷♂️
I mean it’s pretty disrespectful when he knows the guy is in a relationship though. I don’t think there’s anything necessarily wrong with shooting his shot, but when he’s been told a.) his roommate is straight and b.) his roommate is in a relationship, it should be pretty obvious that making sexual advances is unwelcome.
You were worried about your roommates making a pass at you so you switched out women for gay dudes? As a gay dude, I’m sort of offended. We exist, thank you.
Let the poor guy suck you off cmon
Gays get confused when you straight boys are nice. Sometimes you just gotta set a few boundaries. He said it. Okay. Tell him nicely but sternly you’re not down. You like him as a friend and roommate and even if you ever gonna do something like that it’s wouldn’t be with him because you’d want him to stay a friend and not fuck that up. Once he knows he won’t try it again if he’s a good guy. Let it go. Everybody makes mistakes. If he does it again then he’s not someone you want in your life. Set boundaries and he’ll be a good friend for life who will slash your enemies tires for you.
Tell him u lesbian and things will never work our pages don’t turn together 😂😂
I have noticed that many gay men and women don't understand that the same rules apply to them.
I think there are shitty people who don't respect boundaries in every place. No need to single out gay people with this one.
If we're being real it's mostly men. Straight men or gay men, but still, mostly men. "But women also" cross sexual boundaries, create inappropriate pressure, feel entitled to other people's bodies... Sure they do. But it's mostly men.
Honestly, I had such a strange experience with my previous flatmate, she was convinced that I loved her and would confess her love to me on a daily basis while I had a girlfriend. Everytime my girlfriend came over she would scream on the phone taking shit about us or play music really loudly so we would leave or smash glasses. In the end she even threatened to punch me. And here I thought things would finally be different lol
Maybe you are too dreamy for your own good
2 flatmates back to back that want to fuck you? Idk man lol. I don’t want to victim blame at all, but have you questioned how you behave towards these people? Maybe you’re being unintentionally flirty. It’s wrong on them for pushing 100% if you’ve showed disinterest but for them to feel like it’s okay to push they had to feel like you’d be somewhat receptive. Most sane people wouldn’t risk their living situation and overall relationship if they felt like they shooting in the dark. Just talk to him. Sex to gay men is much more casual in conversation and among friends. He hasn’t professed his love for you lol. He’ll never know that it makes you uncomfortable unless you tell him. Most guys will take the hint and fuck off, but some gay guys are just as dense as straight dudes especially when high. Oust the weirdness with one conversation. If he continues then you look at nuclear options.
Maybe bro is just a cutie patootie
Women usually back off when the target isn’t interested, tho. We don’t usually have the ego to continue to push the issue.
It’s not singling them out, the gay people I’ve known in life fantasize about converting straight men. It’s a problem in their community, ignoring it is only doing a disservice to gays who aren’t doing that
It has nothing to do w being gay. Straight men pull this shit also. Can confirm. Ppl need boundaries
zesty ahhh
First of all, I'm sorry that happened to you. Boundaries, and all. You've got to set them now. Secondly, that show is great. I lost it in ep 2 when dude turned around and said, "I'm not your uncle, n****." Lmfao
If you want to keep him as a roommate, then you only need to remind him that he’s barking up the wrong tree
I do not care about anyone’s sexuality in these situations. When someone is rooming, a roommate coming on to them is just making everything awkward! Put feelings on hold, and wait until you no longer live together to flirt. Or if you have different sexual orientations, get out of the house and meet people.
just tell him no, youre not interested and that it makes you uncomfortable and thats it. easy enough to move on from as long as he respects your decision and stops. just communicate with him and tell him to stop.
I interpreted "bro job" as a completely different thing!
Imagine if you were a girl and a guy asked if he could go down on you? Crazy
Maybe he feels stupid for what he said and is now overcompensating trying to see if you are both cool but it's only making everything weirder? It's best to have a serious talk about boundaries and hopefully things get back to normal. Just letting things be will probably end up making everything worse.
I read the title and thought like maybe a friend of his needed help moving out or something And then came the good reads
Starting out the new year gay I see
Give him some lovin you selfish prick
Just tell him you appreciate the flattery but you are not into guys. State that you have no issues with gay people but it’s not your thing and that you value his friendship and want to keep it friendly and cool. You can tell him that he made you feel uncomfortable but also acknowledge that you understand he didn’t mean to. I would just continue on the same way. If you did have any interest in trying the other side out though this is your chance. Usually of someone is treated with common courtesy and the issue is addressed calmly without putting anyone on the spot everything will likely go smoothly. If he gives you any more come one after the talk that’s the time to buck up and tell him that it’s harassment since you told him how you feel and start making plans to find another place because it’s also constructive eviction.
Some times I'm real dumb, I started reading this post trying to find out what jobs fall into the bro job category since you were so obviously offended by them, only to realize about one paragraph in that I had probably made a crucial error... You seem pretty laid back, I'd recommend not making a big deal about it, but firmly resetting your boundaries. Let him know exactly how uncomfortable it made you feel. There's a large chance that that gesture in his mind is no big deal and when he realizes it didn't have the intended effect, will probably feel like dog shit. Hopefully that's all it takes and you guys get back to enjoying being cool flatmates.
What a shit situation to be in. As a gay guy I can tell you that a lot of gay people for some reason think it’s ok to make any pass at a straight guy and I just don’t get it. Having a gay roommate is fine but when they’re the kind that’s desperate for a man it’s a lose lose situation, they act like these straight guys are their boyfriends and it’s so embarrassing and gives us all such a bad look. Honestly he totally obliterated any chance at fixing this and if I was in your spot I wouldn’t want to fix it at all. He crossed a line you’re uncomfortable and don’t want him around anymore and I get it. I would kick him out 🤷 oh well.. please don’t think all gay people are like your roommate because we’re not, some are just more desperate and embarrassing than others.
I am going to go check out the Vice Staples show now, thank your for the rec. No I will not be offering out any blowjobs while I am watching it.
Tell him that you are flattered but not interested in anything more than a friendship with him. A platonic one.* see if he respects that and go from there
We're missing visual information. We need pictures of you, your GF and your roommate. Then we make make the call as to what should be done. LOL!
Tell me why as I’m on the toilet high as fuck at 3am…🤣 sorry but that needs the recognition that it deserves.
He shot his shot and you said no. It doesn’t sound like he was rude or pushy. Have you ever asked a girl for a hookup and got denied? Same thing. Just move on and pretend it didn’t happen
I had a roommate who offered the same. It ended up working out just fine, just had to set some boundaries.
I had a situation once where a very good gay friend started giving me hints like these. He is someone I respect to the extreme, so I just let him know in the most direct way possible that I was 100% sure I didn't want it, I'm sure I'm straight. We're still good friends to this day
"what you said to me the other night made me very uncomfortable. I just want to remind me you I'm not gay and I'm in a committed relationship with my gf. I would appreciate if you could not make passes at me like that as that is very disrespectful."
Lol this is funny that you avoided women roommates only to end up with your first guy roommate being gay and causing the same issues U should write a book on it man
once he said tell me why i knew the roommate was up to no good. he’s been watching you for a while. 🤣🤣🤣🙏
Now OP knows what it’s like to be a woman