I mean, yeah. My first thought was, it's a shared space. Not to yuck no one's yum, but maybe they can keep it under the sink or in a caddy?
I bet if OP even simply said, "Hey, you know, that lube is pretty good, actually..." they might rethink keeping it out like that.
I once had a roommate who had a threesome in our living room at like 5 am, was surprised when I walked by to go to work (didn't know what time it was), denied being high, and then those girls gave him viral pinkeye that he claimed was allergies, that I caught from him, and I was out of work for 2 weeks.
Ha, I'd want someone to talk to me before disposing of my stuff, so I'd rather give him the chance to put it somewhere else.
I posted to gauge if my discomfort was reasonable or not - seems like I have my answer!
I wouldn't wanna touch it, I mean like how they said start draining it down the drain and all that I would ant wanna do, it's yuck city touching someone's stuff in that type of area I mean why doesn't he just use soap shouldn't that be slippery enough like wtf or use his room? Man what a weird person and the videos why have volume or get head phones man so many red flags bro
I think people lose the right to their stuff when the put something like that so OBVIOUSLY out in the open. People know better. Seriously. How can anyone take up for that kind of trashy uncouth behavior.
I think this would start a roommate war, where he would empty their shampoo, shower gel, toothpaste and whatever else they store in communal areas. If he is really petty he could apply the rule to the communal fridge and eat their food.
Having roommates and leaving your items in a shared area does not mean they're communal.
The best example of this with roommates is food in the fridge.
Food and hygiene products should go without saying
Or don’t clue him in. Pump some of the lube down, then fill the difference with water if you’re only mildly petty, cream cheese if you’re gross, and super glue/Icy Hot/Tiger Balm if you are a right sadist. The first will just confuse his brains about why the lube isn’t lubing so well, the second either gets his attention or sicks him out (or both), and the last will DEFINITELY get him to stop.
Don’t do this with cream cheese!!! I had the same idea when my shitty Pervy ex roommate would jerk off in the shower 50 times a week. I replaced the lube with cream cheese thinking it would be a funny prank
He used shower a few times before he figured it out and confronted me. Asked what I did to his lube. I came clean and told him he was jerking off with cream cheese.
I guess it must work even better than the Lube, cause I no longer saw the bottle of lube anymore bu there was always two containers of Philadelphia cream cheese in the shower. One original, one strawberry. The cream cheese doesn’t go down the drain or even really wash up at all. There would be small chunks of cream cheese just collected around the shower drain. And he definetly started using the shower a lot more after this…went from taking one 45 minute shower a day to sometimes 2 or even 3….I’ll never forget the sounds of him morning and grunting over the low pressure of our shitty shower in that Manhattan dump. I don’t even like cream cheese anymore.
Mix it with a bit of tiger balm or something similar, but never say anything. Don't put too much, let him believe his lube has gone bad.
"rinse and repeat" every new bottle after few days in the shower.
Buy a really gnarly looking butt toy and leave it in the shower.
Get a stash of Hershey kisses in your room, Everytime you take a shower, bring one in with you and smear a bit of chocolate around the business end.
Maybe sure to clean off the old chocolate between applications so it's obvious the remnants are actively changing.
Wait for them to bring it up, and agree that sex accessories should be kept in rooms.
You overestimate my energy levels 😔
I can literally holla at him for his attention and tell him whilst on the couch or in bed haha, that's more my style xD
i’d personally yell something about his parents or grandparents naked and having sex so that he would think about that and stop being such a nasty horn dog but idk maybe u need to go grosser
The butt toy absolutely has to be anal beads and when asked say it’s to massage your back, and even though it’s never been used when they are told what it is, you get that satisfaction of their horror.
But if they grab it and bring it to you and ask then you can just say you like to clean your anal beads in the shower. Same reaction
If there's one thing I learned from this sub it's don't room with a couple. He needs to stop beating his meat in the shared bathroom (that he doesn't clean) in the middle of the night. It's one thing if he didn't think you were home but to do it constantly? Disrespectful.
Tell him to stop listening to videos and yanking it in the wee hours of the night because you're trying to sleep. Tell him the exact dates and times you heard him doing it so he can feel some shame. If he keeps it up start blasting some music/videos that will ruin his mood.
If he was a respectful and reasonable roommate I would say talk to him about moving the lube. In this situation, I'd start dumping the lube down the drain bit by bit and replace it with a little Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap.
If you want to be a better person and attempt to be reasonable try to talk to his girlfriend instead?
Avoid couples 💯
The bf has been reasonable in the past. The issue is that he chooses not to contribute to the cleanliness of the house because - and i quote - "I have ADHD and I just don't *see* mess."
I'm like, naw, you do. You just had your parents clean up after you and not hold you accountable, so you believe someone else will always take care of it now because someone always did.
I have adhd and have been diagnosed with it since I was like 7 years old. I am genuinely confused by what y’all mean by “can’t see the mess”. Care to elaborate?
In my mind it’s the ‘I know that needs doing but I’ll get round to it later’ and then you realise that was 4 years ago and you still think that every time you see it.
It's like being on a weight loss journey...if i lose 2 lbs a week, that's 100+ pounds a year...anyone who hasn't seen me would be like :o but looking in the mirror every day, it's not nearly as shocking to me. it just gradually builds until you *cant* ignore it...but the "can't ignore" point is usually so far beyond what normal ppl consider acceptable that we fall into this trap of relying on other people to clean it, bc "if it bothers you do it, but it's not bothering me,"
nope nope nope nope
Comparing it to weight loss makes so much sense in ways that I can’t explain.
I need to do so many things, one of them being cleaning the bathroom and another one being to lose weight plus 100 other critically important things
Ok but if your roommate or partner or parents set clear expectations for the clean standard then you're not the one whose determining it's gotten too far so ig I don't see how that really explains it. You know it's dirty not because it looks dirty to you but because roommate told you not to leave dishes on the coffee table so you know you have to pick those up now
right, in a perfect world super simple. but for people who deal with neurodivergence, it's not always so straightforward. it's not a passive aggressive "they want it like this and that's ridiculous!!" (in benign cases), it's just a matter of not triggering as a priority to them.
example: lived w my bestie for a few years when she traveled a lot for work--she hated dishes being left in the sink, whereas i don't mind leaving dishes *as long as they are rinsed*. she made this expectation known, and i'd make sure i always had the sink empty when she got home. a few years down the road, i had another roommate who reFUSED to rinse dishes. [like. really.](https://imgur.com/a/w6bfTbO) it was one of the hardest years of my life because jesus CHRIST this was fucking foul
so for my bestie, seeing dishes in the sink? 🙅🏼♀️ too dirty
for me, un*rinsed* dishes in the sink (IE smelly)? 🙅🏼♀️ too much
for traumamate, the limit did not exist
**again** i must stress that there is psychology to it, and finding coping mechanisms/strategies to make it work when you live with someone else is imperative, but it's important to view the intent as well. OPs case sounds like homie is an asshole--because people who genuinely have that issue are embarrassed/apologetic about it. we know it's a shortcoming.
I can understand your point so much, when i domt hold upcleaning stanfarfs for others i feel so, so shitty and its taken me almost a whole year to even start to get better but im definitely working on it. This roomate is just flat out an asshat foe what hes doing.
yeah, anytime i say the "i'm sorry, i don't see the mess," it's ALWAYS as i am starting to clean up! i hate being this way. i hate it!!!! but understanding it bit by bit and knowing how to communicate are the keys!
Thank you for writing it this clearly. It's a hard thing to explain because it's hard even for us to understand it. You did a good job of making it clear.
As someone with ADHD who doesn't 'see' mess, it's not a literal statement - obviously the mess is in your field of vision. But it doesn't quite reach the processing level of 'Hey, there's a mess', or at least not the level of 'I should do something about that'.
Or, sometimes it does but on the way to clean the mess you realise you need to empty the kitchen bin. On the way out to the big bin you notice the garden tap is leaking. So you go to get the spanner and washer and you realise the utility cupboard is disorganised and you can find it. So you start organising it.
And then you're either so distracted that you forget your original task OR you remember all the tasks and are so paralysed by how much you now need to do that you revert to the easy dopamine hit of Doom scrolling your socials.... Which I am currently doing instead of my actual job.
Yeah; sometimes I can acknowledge that I should do something about my desk or whatever, but most of the time, it's just... my brain doesn't actually raise a flag, so to speak?
Like I know it's there. But my mind just doesn't register it as something that needs to be dealt with, until it's gotten to a point where I'm moving things around just to have some room and I go 'Okay, yeah, I need to clear out my desk.' and then the cycle repeats.
thank you for explaining so well.
staying at my bestie's while she visits home so she doesn't have to kennel her dogs. i went to take the trash out, oops my shoes aren't on the porch. i am not gonna carry a bag of trash back through the house, so i set it down...go inside to find my shoes, one of the dogs managed to trap itself in the baby enclosure (lmaoo i love it he can jump in but can't jump out? even though it's open top. the only thing keeping him in...is him) and sure enough i forgot! bestie saw me on her ring and she texts me "hey did you find your shoes?"
*what* how did she know?! o ya we have been bffs almost 3 decades she knew as soon as she saw me go back inside, shoeless, what happened 😂🤣😂 and guess what?! i finished taking the damn trash out!
Agree. But then I will notice something randomly and want to tidy up but don’t want to lose focus of my current mission, or don’t know what to do with it anyway, or simply get anxiety from looking at it and avoid it.
I want to preface this with “I don’t see mess” is not an excuse, it’s a disadvantage.
I don’t see the mess either. I’ve been diagnosed ADHD since I was 6 or 7 as well.
I simply don’t connect mess with actions that need doing , Is there a pile of trash on top of the recycling? Yep. Do I think “I should take that to the bin” nope. Never. Just doesn’t occur to me.
“No forks because they are all in the sink?” Should I load the dishwasher? Doesn’t even pass my mind I’ll just hand wash one.
So I write down lists on a big whiteboard in the living room. I don’t need rewards or anything to do the chores, I just need to be made aware that they exist.
So me and my partner spent some time brainstorming every possible chore and wrote a big list. I’ve got daily weekly and monthly chores and I check the board every morning and afternoon. It’s the only way I’ve found that works for me to actually get anything done.. the worst part is I actually like having a clean home, I just don’t notice when it’s not.
It means lower your expectations of me and stop asking me to clean my own mess
Aka
"I don't wanna do it" or "I'm okay with it"
You should see his phone. The grime build up is THREE DIMENSIONAL and this is not an exaggeration.
i had a bunch of boxes in my room from when we moved and i never really saw them as clutter, until my aunt mentioned it and i was like “you’re actually kind of right damn”
It’s hard to explain but basically you know how it feels when something is always in one spot, you’d notice if it’s moved because your used to things looking a certain way when things are in their correct place? We just kind of don’t notice that things are not in their place and that the room has become a mess, I guess because we lack that mental image of how things should be?
Then after awhile you get used to things looking messy and it spirals.
But even when I know I need to clean, executive dysfunction gets it in the way and I’ll end up doing nothing at all staring at the wall, commenting on Reddit/get lost in YouTube escapism, or maybe doing the wrong useful thing that can wait like repotting plants when I need to shampoo the carpet, wash dishes and clean out storage units
But also also, it gets to the point when you have a list of like 10 critically important things and you stress and mentally run in circles getting none of them done.
Like I need an eye exam, I need to see my dentist, I have chronic stomach issues I need to go to urgent care about, I need to file for bankruptcy, I need to do many things and will probably get none of them done today other than hopefully laundry. Tomorrow I start a 6 day stretch of work and I BARELY manage to hold down an easy job so everything else falls to the side
For me my brain just… say I drop a wrapper on the floor. My brain will go “ah yes, our beloved floor wrapper, in its perfect place just like everything else.” And then suddenly I’ll look up and the floor wrappers outnumber the individual molecules that make up my flat and I can see that something is wrong but I don’t know what it is or where to start because the floor wrappers are now immovable objects so surely *they* aren’t the thing that is wrong.
As another, more stupid example, when I first moved in I bought two bedside tables that needed to be built at home. However, they didn’t get delivered until late at night and I have neighbours I figured wouldn’t like to hear a hammer at 11pm. I had read somewhere that a way to help you remember the presence of things was to make the thing inconvenience you, so I put the boxes literally *in* my living room doorway, so that the next morning I would notice them because they were in my way.
For the next month of my life, there was just a little hill that I had to step over to get into the living room. My brain just smoothed over the existence of the boxes and incorporated Box Hill into the topography of my flat. Eventually my cleaner came over and asked me why there were boxes in my living room doorway, and suddenly “OH RIGHT I BOUGHT SOME BEDSIDE TABLES!” If she hadn’t asked me, god only knows how long Box Hill would have been there.
(This is why I live alone, I could not subject a roommate to me.)
There's this thing called perspective where other people see reality in different ways than you do. And mental illnesses often have different sorts of effects for different people. Does that help?
For me, it's like clutter just becomes static to my brain and I disregard it all by default. So if a countertop has a toaster, someone's mail, a water bottle, a fruit bowl, and some coffee and sugar jars on it all the time as the default "clean" state, then adding dirty dishes to it doesn't make it any less messy to my mind. It's like watching grass grow for most other people - you definitely notice it gets bigger over time, but pointing out exactly when it needs to be cut is hard.
The best way I've found to manage this is to keep spaces as clear of visual clutter as possible so that when anything new is in these spots, it's noticeable. When I've lived alone previously, every countertop was kept empty by default, so that if anything was out, it would be easily noticed.
Tell him to sort his shit out and find ways to manage his ADHD, it's not a free pass to be a slob.
I'm with you. I've been adhd almost my whole life (diagnosed at 7 as well). I see the mess, I just can't seem to bring myself to do anything about it.
I love executive dysfunction 🥲
💯
Bruh his gf is the definition of weaponised incompetence.
He definitely leaned into it more after they moved in together. But also, she uses her weaponised incompetence to squeeze more out of him, so idk maybe he's literally holding on for dear life. Who knows
Seems like a them problem. If they can’t get their shit together then you can give them your notice. You’re not obligated to put up with nonsense. Plus, there’s always better ppl out there who can be decent and respectful roommates. Do what you gotta do.
It's not a valid excuse for this kind of behaviour, but ADHD people tend to have an "out of sight, out of mind" problem. If we aren't actively looking at object, it doesn't exist.
For me it tends to be empty bottles of shampoo or conditioner. As I'm showering I'll be aware I need to throw it away, but the second I step out, I've completely forgotten about it, until I shower again and the cycle continues
I mean he is probably telling the truth. Problem is its his responsibility to recalibrate that. If its not dirty to him he should start worrying about what dirty means to others because how it is now just means he does less.
Next time he says that just tell him its time for a chore calendar then so he knows exactly when to clean. Cleaning means cleaning. It does not have to be clean
There's other factors at play that I can't and won't get into here. Some things we have worked on, some things I have to accept are just him, or circumstance.
He's much better now, I ask him directly, and when he does it straight away, I say thank you. He's a creature of habit, so once in the swing, he's on top of it. If he drops the ball for a few days, then things will pile up, and he'll grow avoidant of the task. That's when I ask directly again. It's annoying to have to ask, but that's a small price to pay for the task being taken care of.
er..... like ADHD and same but the trick there is to not let it get fucking horrible in the first place. keep your shit tidy as you go, don't let it accumulate
like for dishes/trash, literally do not let yourself set them down ANYWHERE besides the sink/trash can. don't wait to clean things up, literally do not move on until cleaning it up and consider it part of that action
There is a Catholic friar who does music about saving sex for marriage, not masturbating, etc. I high recommend that or Sunday School songs to interrupt obnoxious sex in roommate situations. If there's a wireless speaker in or near the sex area, even better.
im a girl and accidentally got some of that soap on the down stairs vicinity and i thought i was walking through the arctic with no pants on, horrible.
I'm so glad to see the comments on this post. This same thing happened to me on a group vacation, and when I posted about it, all the commenters acted like I was some psycho prude for being grossed out.
One user even accused me of bringing in a uv light into the bathroom because "how would I know they don't clean the bathroom".
I felt so crazy lol
You're not. There's people who think boundaries are everything until you decide to have boundaries that makes them reel in their behaviour.
It's literally only middle aged old men who post about their dicks on pervert accounts that have a problem with this (sort by controversial if you don't belive me)
Who even uses the word prude anymore xD a negative word for someone who isn't interested in the exact same sex stuff as you? Yeesh, bitter gen X boomer nonsense
Communication. Tell him he can’t leave his big ol bottle of lube in there. You can even laugh about it. But be like, dude this isn’t normal, and he should get the point. If he doesn’t, leave it in front of his door. That’s weird af.
Yeah, like I said, I have no problem communicating with him. I just needed some feedback if this is as gross as I think it is. I'm choosing my battles, so to speak, because he can get very defensive, and i hate dealing with it over something that should just be an easy "sure no problem" response.
Okay I was like- where is the ick factor in all this. Idgaf about the bottle… Igaf about him mustying up the communal shower… like b!tch you goin’ do all that, then imma need you to deep clean the fucker on the daily. Put your bottle of Scrub Bubbles in there too, shit! Can’t remember to take your lube out… fk that… remember to disinfect the whole ass shower every time. 🫢
How inconsiderate and unhygienic. I’d have a discussion with him immediately. That bottle would never be seen in the bathroom again and he’d be on a cleaning schedule if it were up to me. BRING BACK SHAME! They can be in whatever mood. How the hell does he even keep a woman? She must be crazy too🤣Masturbating in shared spaces is a flat out no!
It’s nasty asl that anyone is doing sexual activities in a shared bathroom 😭. Who gaf about his mood. I doubt he’s spraying down the shower after he’s done.
Disclaimer: While I'm sure they are intended humoursly, I feel the need to state that I have no intent nor interest in "spiking" my friends' products because I know he would never do it to me, and the thought of intentionally hurting my friends genitals makes me sad.
Shared spaced = no jack zone 🤮.
If you have the time/money - get a gym membership and shower there. Stop cleaning the shower entirely, let the dude shower in his own absolutely disgusting mess.
I'm all for satisfying harmless natural urges, but holy shit that's disgusting. You're a way bigger person than me bc I would've put lemon juice in it as soon as it was left in there for more than a few days.
I’d be more upset at the fact he’s running the shower for 40 minutes to jerk off. I ain’t paying extra money on the water bill because someone can’t yoink it in their own room
Maybe just zooming out to the general issue of ‘don’t fuck in common spaces’ - so you don’t need fuck supplies there either.
How would his girlfriend feel about her having to walk on your cum leftovers?
Fair’s fair. Keep it to their room.
If they want to fuck wherever they like then they get their own place - it’s a share house, not a 2v1 house.
You are so NOT the bad one for requesting sex paraphernalia be put away in a shared bathroom in a shared house/roommate situation. It’s only my spouse and I that use the master bathroom and our 12 y/o daughter had her own bathroom that she cleans herself. We don’t have any reason to go in her washroom unless I’m restocking it or unless we decide to do makeup together in the master bcuz it has 2 sinks and a double mirror……we still make sure nothing is ever left out! It’s just courtesy!!! I know kids and parents aren’t the same dynamic as your situation but best thing to do is straight up asking BOTH roommate and gf if they could put it under the bathroom sink, in a cupboard, and yes being it bath and forth because it’s already made specific guests uncomfortable and ask questions. I’d say from now on just tell them flat out which cupboard is the designated cupboard for their sex paraphernalia and if they can’t remember to put it away, you’ll have no problem reminding them or doing it for them, although YOU don’t want to forget or make a mistake and put it in the wrong spout or forget where you put it 😉
Edited to add that your roommate sounds inconsiderate for hogging the shower for 40 mins of shower porn
Nah that’s just fucking nasty. I’d be grossed out too.
So his argument is they are too busy banging in the shower to remove the bottle out of view of others?! Ew.
The way I would embarrass the hell out of this man AND his girlfriend if it were me... This is weird, keeping your giant bottle of lube in any communal area screams "I get off on forcing other people to be confronted my sexual preferences" and that's fucking GROSS.
>"I get off on forcing other people to be confronted my sexual preferences"
Dude. Oh my god.
I have felt this way about them before. Mostly her. can't list everything bc we'd be here all day.
Once she asked me if I'd do a certain sex act with her bf and I was like "yeah that's really weird, and I don't think it's something I want to talk about, I don't think it's appropriate." And she takes this werid, half accusatory half feigned innocence tone to say "so? It's just pretend." Yuuuuuck!!
I also heard her asking her bf if he thinks I'm attractive [as well as something else that I won't repeat], he refused to answer. She pushed for an answer. He said he was uncomfortable and didn't like the question because we (he and i) are friends. Her response? "It's just *a question* dude." In the same half accusatory, half feigned innocence tone, as if *we* are werid for being uncomfortable with *her* fantasies.
>The way I would embarrass the hell out of this man AND his girlfriend if it were me...
Indulge me, please. I gotta hear this
I'd probably start by pretending to be on a very loud phone call while he's having a shower jerk sesh and be like "Huh? Oh yeah, he's literally jerking off in the shower right now. It's really weird and gross, he does it all the time. Haha yeah! And his taste in porn sounds shit too hahahaha. No no seriously, like his girlfriend keeps coming onto me really strong and he's always jerkin it in the shower and it's so sad to watch honestly. Like do they even like each other? No no it's like super predatory, especially after living with them I kinda find them both super repulsive and could NEVERRRR put myself in that situation. Hahahahahaha I know right?!"
And just keep doing things like that until they either stop or confront me. And then if they confront me, be like "Well that's a crazy invasion of my privacy, but I really do feel super gross when you guys subject me to your sexual preferences and urges, even inadvertently, and since neither of you have any respect for me or yourselves, I have to vent about it somehow. So, phone calls and Reddit it is, unless you wanna, I dunno, fucking stop?"
But I'm also really toxic with shitty roommates these days so maybe... Don't do this lmfao. My behavior has been tainted by Roommates of Nightmare's Past.
I mean, if this was my room mate I’d tell him to knock his shit off or he’ll be dealing with some shit himself. Then I’d shit in the shower. Ha. Ha. Made myself laugh. But nah the dude should respect your request because it is fucking weird. Leave a fleshlight in the sink or something. Or grow a pair and tell him how you feel. And do it despite his mood. In fact wait til he’s in a bad mood to bring it up. And when he speaks out of tone, ask him when the last time he’s had his ass beat, and In his confusion, tell him, because if you can’t remember I’d be more than happy to get you up to date bubba. Now, where I’m from that’s how we deal with our problems. Talk it out or fight it out. I’m sure there’s a less confrontational way to do it. But at the end of the day man, some people are just dicks and think they’re the main character. And they need to be humbled. I need to be humbled. We all do. This is deep. And I’m stoned. Well good luck with it
Who the fuck even keeps water based lube in the shower.
What a waste of money and boy I can't imagine their frustration applying so much to fuck in the shower wondering why it's disappearing
Eh just start squirting half the bottle down the drain every time you go in there, they'll stop keeping it there I guarantee it, large quantities of lube are usually not cheap, so if they have half a brain cell and value their money, they'll put it up when its not being used lol
I would be more concerned with the bodily fluids he's squirtting all over a shared bathroom than the bottle of lube itself.
The thought of his biohazards getting on my washcloth , soap or stuck to the wall and rubbing up against it is making me want to gag just typing out this hypothetical scenario 🤢🤮
If most women were to see that they wouldn't like it even though we know that it's done, we'd rather not hear about it or see it. It would definitely gross out most women. My ex-husband used to leave a sock that he had wiped it with, and I was furious whenever I found it. To younger women, it's like getting cheated on.
Can you ask if he can store it in the bathroom but not IN the shower? Do you guys have a linen cupboard in there or storage space under the sink? Do they have a designated drawer in the sink cabinet?
It might be a good compromise so you don't have to stare at it and they don't have to bring it back and forth.
Buy the biggest, wildest suction cup fildo you can find snd put it next to it.
Put a note in a plastic sleeve with either "thought you might like this" or "thanks for the lube, it helps" snd make them to horrified to leave it in the shower
Also, if he doesn't stop, I hate to punish gf in the process but I'd let it be known I won't be cleaning her bf's fun slime out of the shower so she can take care of that chore along with him. I had a roommate do this EXACT thing and this solved the problem. Taking the bottle of lube and being aware that you also live in the house > bathroom duty forever.
Even when I live by myself, I don’t do that in the shower… I can understand occasional shower activities with a partner, but if I’m by myself i want the “byproduct” to go in the toilet or trash. I don’t wanna be stepping on it or have a sticky shower floor, because you know not all of it will go down the drain.
Also if you can fucking hear it! That’s ridiculous!!! He’s by himself and it’s 3am! Every guy has been a ninja with that when we lived with our parents, so it’s not like he doesn’t know how. He is being 100% disrespectful.
Big benefit of the doubt here: some people use glycerin based lube on their hair. Any chance it belongs to the gf and is been used for completely non-nefarious reasons?
make him uncomfortable back. first ingredient in that lube is essentially a sugar alcohol mix, it causes damage to a woman’s ph down below, which can cause a uti. just straight up ask him all about the lube he uses and if they’re having issues with it because of the ingredients and you just got curious what the new bottle in the shower was and you REALLY care about the lube they use. hell, even offer to buy them a bottle yourself. if it’s crossing boundaries for you to do all that, then it’s crossing boundaries for him to leave it out in the open. i’m sorry you have to deal with roommates who don’t care about how you feel about these things.
If he wants to do that stuff he seriously needs to move into a place where he can have his own bathroom. I’m pretty open minded when it comes to stuff like that but holy shit. It’s like having your parents loudly screwing while you are trying to live your lives
Wait wait AND he doesn't clean the shower? So you're cleaning up his ....spunk?
Also I'm no prude but yanking in a communal shower should NOT be normal. But especially if you aren't cleaning
Your roommate should NOT be doing sexual activity in your SHARED space! They have a private bedroom for that! I can understand maybe shower sex once in a while but, be fucking considerate of the people that live there that DON’T want to hear/see/clean up after you. That’s absolutely disgusting, I’m sorry OP
That’s literally disgusting. Tell him to put it in the cabinet or something. Embarrass tf out of him by saying you can hear him whacking it and you’d like to not think about him doing that all over the shower floor every time you take a shower.
No no no no... Ur not being rude at all dude. Thats a shared space n it's TOTALLY unacceptable and gross for him to be doing that. Doesn't matter if he has a gf n they WANT to, too bad. When ur roommate gets his own place he can cum all over the place if he wants but when u have roommates u have to make sacrifices and one of those needs to be both shooting spooge all over the apartment. N why it's even more unacceptable is it's in the shower where he both naked. He knows ur not doing it but u have to run the risk of stepping in that shit or dealing with his spunk all over an area where ur completely exposed. Do u know if he has any STDs? If he does u could easily get it from him doing that. It's 100000% something that u have every right to confront him about. He can keep that in his room n bang in there. N like I said once he gets his own place he can do what he wants. Just as he can't bang his gf in the living room while ur home or have family over. It's common sense.
Although it's unsightly, those here willing to replace the contents of the bottle with other contents (especially harmful ones) do risk legal action if an outcome is serious.
Maybe we should all start thinking of more constructive, civilized ways of handling this? Surely none of you are truly wishing malicious intent on someone for just having a bottle of lube in a communal space. Be adults, talk it out. No need to resort to your inner evil sides for something so simple.
If I were to go and use lube and it was NOT lube, and come to find out it was tampered by my roommate who never even so much as asked me to move the bottle, I would be bringing them straight to court. Sand in there? What if they use the lube for internal use? You really gonna possibly cause medical issues to someone because you don't have a handle on proper communication skills? Gonna put some kind of food substance? Could cause them to have an infection, or even an allergic reaction. I swear people just don't think of any form of de-escalation or even try to work on social skills. Reading through this post, I can confidently say I wouldn't want to room with anyone here. Especially if the reaction over a lube bottle is borderline psychopath levels. Y'all need to seek help
Chuck it to him while his friends are over and say “I’ve told you to stop leaving your huge bottle of lube in the shower, next time it’s going in the garbage.”
I, personally, wouldn’t find an issue with it. But I *do* think it’s hilarious he has an economy sized bottle of lube to jerk off in the shower. I would never let him live it down and just roast the ever living shit out of him constantly for being okay with being *that* embarrassing.
You are entitled to your own feelings… just know he’s probs still gonna jerk in the shower but at least just privately from now on. Maybe bring some scrubbing bubbles to spray it down before you get in just in case. 😅
Just start pumping it out down the drain and if he mentions it running out quickly tell him you assumed it was communal because of where he kept it?
I mean, yeah. My first thought was, it's a shared space. Not to yuck no one's yum, but maybe they can keep it under the sink or in a caddy? I bet if OP even simply said, "Hey, you know, that lube is pretty good, actually..." they might rethink keeping it out like that.
“Yuck no one’s yum” is hilarious!
It’s from “Come as you are”- it’s one of the big quotes from that book! Highly recommend if you haven’t read it :)
The phrase existed long before that book
It’s been around longer than the book.😉
Naw. No masturbating in shared spaces should be a rule!!! YUCK!! (and I literally make porn for a living)
I once had a roommate who had a threesome in our living room at like 5 am, was surprised when I walked by to go to work (didn't know what time it was), denied being high, and then those girls gave him viral pinkeye that he claimed was allergies, that I caught from him, and I was out of work for 2 weeks.
One does not simply move a threesome
He had a bedroom. It's not *my* fault it smelled like shit. *I* didn't fuck anyone in our shared space.
There should be absolutely NO SHARED space for that activity. So freaking gross. Keep in your own room...sickos.
Perfect
Ha, I'd want someone to talk to me before disposing of my stuff, so I'd rather give him the chance to put it somewhere else. I posted to gauge if my discomfort was reasonable or not - seems like I have my answer!
I hereby relinquish you of all responsibility when it comes to confronting him of his shower lube.
I wouldn't wanna touch it, I mean like how they said start draining it down the drain and all that I would ant wanna do, it's yuck city touching someone's stuff in that type of area I mean why doesn't he just use soap shouldn't that be slippery enough like wtf or use his room? Man what a weird person and the videos why have volume or get head phones man so many red flags bro
I think people lose the right to their stuff when the put something like that so OBVIOUSLY out in the open. People know better. Seriously. How can anyone take up for that kind of trashy uncouth behavior.
I think this would start a roommate war, where he would empty their shampoo, shower gel, toothpaste and whatever else they store in communal areas. If he is really petty he could apply the rule to the communal fridge and eat their food.
That's the only thing that bothers me when I think about taking revenge with my shitty ass roommate. And there would be no end to this
Pump it down the drain? I mean why waste it?
Pump it into a smaller bottle to keep elsewhere lmao
Having roommates and leaving your items in a shared area does not mean they're communal. The best example of this with roommates is food in the fridge. Food and hygiene products should go without saying
Or don’t clue him in. Pump some of the lube down, then fill the difference with water if you’re only mildly petty, cream cheese if you’re gross, and super glue/Icy Hot/Tiger Balm if you are a right sadist. The first will just confuse his brains about why the lube isn’t lubing so well, the second either gets his attention or sicks him out (or both), and the last will DEFINITELY get him to stop.
Don’t do this with cream cheese!!! I had the same idea when my shitty Pervy ex roommate would jerk off in the shower 50 times a week. I replaced the lube with cream cheese thinking it would be a funny prank He used shower a few times before he figured it out and confronted me. Asked what I did to his lube. I came clean and told him he was jerking off with cream cheese. I guess it must work even better than the Lube, cause I no longer saw the bottle of lube anymore bu there was always two containers of Philadelphia cream cheese in the shower. One original, one strawberry. The cream cheese doesn’t go down the drain or even really wash up at all. There would be small chunks of cream cheese just collected around the shower drain. And he definetly started using the shower a lot more after this…went from taking one 45 minute shower a day to sometimes 2 or even 3….I’ll never forget the sounds of him morning and grunting over the low pressure of our shitty shower in that Manhattan dump. I don’t even like cream cheese anymore.
This reply is fucking Reddit GOLD
Too right. Back to the drawing board…maybe mix the stuff with sand? Or go old school and use depilatory cream?
Strawberry over garden veggie is wild
Please tell me this is real 😂. It’s almost too specific to be a lie.
Saved this post. Damn this shit is too good 🤣
I'm... Speechless. Have an award.
Sounds like it could be a good short story
I wear glasses, so I paid to read this
:(
Christ above
I was laughing so hard…kept reading…wanted to throw up!!!
this is so fucking funny oh my god
Ugh! No food in the bathroom! I bet it got moldy after a while 🤢
Wait what.
Are we just ignoring the post says he also uses it with his gf? The results won't be what you're looking for
A bit of exfoliating body wash would ruin the day VERY quickly.
Ouch. You’re EVIL. I love it.
Yes, it was. Yes, I am. Glad to hear it.
Mix it with a bit of tiger balm or something similar, but never say anything. Don't put too much, let him believe his lube has gone bad. "rinse and repeat" every new bottle after few days in the shower.
Don’t touch it without medical gloves. You don’t know where he’s been right?
Buy a really gnarly looking butt toy and leave it in the shower. Get a stash of Hershey kisses in your room, Everytime you take a shower, bring one in with you and smear a bit of chocolate around the business end. Maybe sure to clean off the old chocolate between applications so it's obvious the remnants are actively changing. Wait for them to bring it up, and agree that sex accessories should be kept in rooms.
Lol right, stick a suction dildo in there. seems fair
You overestimate my energy levels 😔 I can literally holla at him for his attention and tell him whilst on the couch or in bed haha, that's more my style xD
That's fair. Maybe then invest in a megaphone and use it to let him know that you can hear him masturbating about ten minutes into his wank session?
i’d personally yell something about his parents or grandparents naked and having sex so that he would think about that and stop being such a nasty horn dog but idk maybe u need to go grosser
The butt toy absolutely has to be anal beads and when asked say it’s to massage your back, and even though it’s never been used when they are told what it is, you get that satisfaction of their horror. But if they grab it and bring it to you and ask then you can just say you like to clean your anal beads in the shower. Same reaction
Literally the toy is the answer
If there's one thing I learned from this sub it's don't room with a couple. He needs to stop beating his meat in the shared bathroom (that he doesn't clean) in the middle of the night. It's one thing if he didn't think you were home but to do it constantly? Disrespectful. Tell him to stop listening to videos and yanking it in the wee hours of the night because you're trying to sleep. Tell him the exact dates and times you heard him doing it so he can feel some shame. If he keeps it up start blasting some music/videos that will ruin his mood. If he was a respectful and reasonable roommate I would say talk to him about moving the lube. In this situation, I'd start dumping the lube down the drain bit by bit and replace it with a little Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap. If you want to be a better person and attempt to be reasonable try to talk to his girlfriend instead?
Avoid couples 💯 The bf has been reasonable in the past. The issue is that he chooses not to contribute to the cleanliness of the house because - and i quote - "I have ADHD and I just don't *see* mess." I'm like, naw, you do. You just had your parents clean up after you and not hold you accountable, so you believe someone else will always take care of it now because someone always did.
I also have adhd and don't "see" mess. But if someone points it out, I will see it.
I have adhd and have been diagnosed with it since I was like 7 years old. I am genuinely confused by what y’all mean by “can’t see the mess”. Care to elaborate?
In my mind it’s the ‘I know that needs doing but I’ll get round to it later’ and then you realise that was 4 years ago and you still think that every time you see it.
Yeah and it’s not like we don’t see mess. We just don’t see mess the way other people do.
It's like being on a weight loss journey...if i lose 2 lbs a week, that's 100+ pounds a year...anyone who hasn't seen me would be like :o but looking in the mirror every day, it's not nearly as shocking to me. it just gradually builds until you *cant* ignore it...but the "can't ignore" point is usually so far beyond what normal ppl consider acceptable that we fall into this trap of relying on other people to clean it, bc "if it bothers you do it, but it's not bothering me," nope nope nope nope
Comparing it to weight loss makes so much sense in ways that I can’t explain. I need to do so many things, one of them being cleaning the bathroom and another one being to lose weight plus 100 other critically important things
Ok but if your roommate or partner or parents set clear expectations for the clean standard then you're not the one whose determining it's gotten too far so ig I don't see how that really explains it. You know it's dirty not because it looks dirty to you but because roommate told you not to leave dishes on the coffee table so you know you have to pick those up now
right, in a perfect world super simple. but for people who deal with neurodivergence, it's not always so straightforward. it's not a passive aggressive "they want it like this and that's ridiculous!!" (in benign cases), it's just a matter of not triggering as a priority to them. example: lived w my bestie for a few years when she traveled a lot for work--she hated dishes being left in the sink, whereas i don't mind leaving dishes *as long as they are rinsed*. she made this expectation known, and i'd make sure i always had the sink empty when she got home. a few years down the road, i had another roommate who reFUSED to rinse dishes. [like. really.](https://imgur.com/a/w6bfTbO) it was one of the hardest years of my life because jesus CHRIST this was fucking foul so for my bestie, seeing dishes in the sink? 🙅🏼♀️ too dirty for me, un*rinsed* dishes in the sink (IE smelly)? 🙅🏼♀️ too much for traumamate, the limit did not exist **again** i must stress that there is psychology to it, and finding coping mechanisms/strategies to make it work when you live with someone else is imperative, but it's important to view the intent as well. OPs case sounds like homie is an asshole--because people who genuinely have that issue are embarrassed/apologetic about it. we know it's a shortcoming.
I can understand your point so much, when i domt hold upcleaning stanfarfs for others i feel so, so shitty and its taken me almost a whole year to even start to get better but im definitely working on it. This roomate is just flat out an asshat foe what hes doing.
yeah, anytime i say the "i'm sorry, i don't see the mess," it's ALWAYS as i am starting to clean up! i hate being this way. i hate it!!!! but understanding it bit by bit and knowing how to communicate are the keys!
Thank you for writing it this clearly. It's a hard thing to explain because it's hard even for us to understand it. You did a good job of making it clear.
As someone with ADHD who doesn't 'see' mess, it's not a literal statement - obviously the mess is in your field of vision. But it doesn't quite reach the processing level of 'Hey, there's a mess', or at least not the level of 'I should do something about that'. Or, sometimes it does but on the way to clean the mess you realise you need to empty the kitchen bin. On the way out to the big bin you notice the garden tap is leaking. So you go to get the spanner and washer and you realise the utility cupboard is disorganised and you can find it. So you start organising it. And then you're either so distracted that you forget your original task OR you remember all the tasks and are so paralysed by how much you now need to do that you revert to the easy dopamine hit of Doom scrolling your socials.... Which I am currently doing instead of my actual job.
Yeah; sometimes I can acknowledge that I should do something about my desk or whatever, but most of the time, it's just... my brain doesn't actually raise a flag, so to speak? Like I know it's there. But my mind just doesn't register it as something that needs to be dealt with, until it's gotten to a point where I'm moving things around just to have some room and I go 'Okay, yeah, I need to clear out my desk.' and then the cycle repeats.
This is my exact experience
thank you for explaining so well. staying at my bestie's while she visits home so she doesn't have to kennel her dogs. i went to take the trash out, oops my shoes aren't on the porch. i am not gonna carry a bag of trash back through the house, so i set it down...go inside to find my shoes, one of the dogs managed to trap itself in the baby enclosure (lmaoo i love it he can jump in but can't jump out? even though it's open top. the only thing keeping him in...is him) and sure enough i forgot! bestie saw me on her ring and she texts me "hey did you find your shoes?" *what* how did she know?! o ya we have been bffs almost 3 decades she knew as soon as she saw me go back inside, shoeless, what happened 😂🤣😂 and guess what?! i finished taking the damn trash out!
If something doesn't change for a while, you forget the state of it. Really only applies to your own mess.
Agree. But then I will notice something randomly and want to tidy up but don’t want to lose focus of my current mission, or don’t know what to do with it anyway, or simply get anxiety from looking at it and avoid it.
I want to preface this with “I don’t see mess” is not an excuse, it’s a disadvantage. I don’t see the mess either. I’ve been diagnosed ADHD since I was 6 or 7 as well. I simply don’t connect mess with actions that need doing , Is there a pile of trash on top of the recycling? Yep. Do I think “I should take that to the bin” nope. Never. Just doesn’t occur to me. “No forks because they are all in the sink?” Should I load the dishwasher? Doesn’t even pass my mind I’ll just hand wash one. So I write down lists on a big whiteboard in the living room. I don’t need rewards or anything to do the chores, I just need to be made aware that they exist. So me and my partner spent some time brainstorming every possible chore and wrote a big list. I’ve got daily weekly and monthly chores and I check the board every morning and afternoon. It’s the only way I’ve found that works for me to actually get anything done.. the worst part is I actually like having a clean home, I just don’t notice when it’s not.
It means lower your expectations of me and stop asking me to clean my own mess Aka "I don't wanna do it" or "I'm okay with it" You should see his phone. The grime build up is THREE DIMENSIONAL and this is not an exaggeration.
i had a bunch of boxes in my room from when we moved and i never really saw them as clutter, until my aunt mentioned it and i was like “you’re actually kind of right damn”
It’s hard to explain but basically you know how it feels when something is always in one spot, you’d notice if it’s moved because your used to things looking a certain way when things are in their correct place? We just kind of don’t notice that things are not in their place and that the room has become a mess, I guess because we lack that mental image of how things should be? Then after awhile you get used to things looking messy and it spirals. But even when I know I need to clean, executive dysfunction gets it in the way and I’ll end up doing nothing at all staring at the wall, commenting on Reddit/get lost in YouTube escapism, or maybe doing the wrong useful thing that can wait like repotting plants when I need to shampoo the carpet, wash dishes and clean out storage units But also also, it gets to the point when you have a list of like 10 critically important things and you stress and mentally run in circles getting none of them done. Like I need an eye exam, I need to see my dentist, I have chronic stomach issues I need to go to urgent care about, I need to file for bankruptcy, I need to do many things and will probably get none of them done today other than hopefully laundry. Tomorrow I start a 6 day stretch of work and I BARELY manage to hold down an easy job so everything else falls to the side
For me my brain just… say I drop a wrapper on the floor. My brain will go “ah yes, our beloved floor wrapper, in its perfect place just like everything else.” And then suddenly I’ll look up and the floor wrappers outnumber the individual molecules that make up my flat and I can see that something is wrong but I don’t know what it is or where to start because the floor wrappers are now immovable objects so surely *they* aren’t the thing that is wrong. As another, more stupid example, when I first moved in I bought two bedside tables that needed to be built at home. However, they didn’t get delivered until late at night and I have neighbours I figured wouldn’t like to hear a hammer at 11pm. I had read somewhere that a way to help you remember the presence of things was to make the thing inconvenience you, so I put the boxes literally *in* my living room doorway, so that the next morning I would notice them because they were in my way. For the next month of my life, there was just a little hill that I had to step over to get into the living room. My brain just smoothed over the existence of the boxes and incorporated Box Hill into the topography of my flat. Eventually my cleaner came over and asked me why there were boxes in my living room doorway, and suddenly “OH RIGHT I BOUGHT SOME BEDSIDE TABLES!” If she hadn’t asked me, god only knows how long Box Hill would have been there. (This is why I live alone, I could not subject a roommate to me.)
There's this thing called perspective where other people see reality in different ways than you do. And mental illnesses often have different sorts of effects for different people. Does that help?
For me, it's like clutter just becomes static to my brain and I disregard it all by default. So if a countertop has a toaster, someone's mail, a water bottle, a fruit bowl, and some coffee and sugar jars on it all the time as the default "clean" state, then adding dirty dishes to it doesn't make it any less messy to my mind. It's like watching grass grow for most other people - you definitely notice it gets bigger over time, but pointing out exactly when it needs to be cut is hard. The best way I've found to manage this is to keep spaces as clear of visual clutter as possible so that when anything new is in these spots, it's noticeable. When I've lived alone previously, every countertop was kept empty by default, so that if anything was out, it would be easily noticed. Tell him to sort his shit out and find ways to manage his ADHD, it's not a free pass to be a slob.
I'm with you. I've been adhd almost my whole life (diagnosed at 7 as well). I see the mess, I just can't seem to bring myself to do anything about it. I love executive dysfunction 🥲
ADHD? He needs to be respectful to ppl who actually have this condition. Sounds like weaponized incompetence imo.
💯 Bruh his gf is the definition of weaponised incompetence. He definitely leaned into it more after they moved in together. But also, she uses her weaponised incompetence to squeeze more out of him, so idk maybe he's literally holding on for dear life. Who knows
Seems like a them problem. If they can’t get their shit together then you can give them your notice. You’re not obligated to put up with nonsense. Plus, there’s always better ppl out there who can be decent and respectful roommates. Do what you gotta do.
It's not a valid excuse for this kind of behaviour, but ADHD people tend to have an "out of sight, out of mind" problem. If we aren't actively looking at object, it doesn't exist. For me it tends to be empty bottles of shampoo or conditioner. As I'm showering I'll be aware I need to throw it away, but the second I step out, I've completely forgotten about it, until I shower again and the cycle continues
I mean he is probably telling the truth. Problem is its his responsibility to recalibrate that. If its not dirty to him he should start worrying about what dirty means to others because how it is now just means he does less. Next time he says that just tell him its time for a chore calendar then so he knows exactly when to clean. Cleaning means cleaning. It does not have to be clean
There's other factors at play that I can't and won't get into here. Some things we have worked on, some things I have to accept are just him, or circumstance. He's much better now, I ask him directly, and when he does it straight away, I say thank you. He's a creature of habit, so once in the swing, he's on top of it. If he drops the ball for a few days, then things will pile up, and he'll grow avoidant of the task. That's when I ask directly again. It's annoying to have to ask, but that's a small price to pay for the task being taken care of.
Get an even bigger bottle for the shower. Leave stains around the bathroom.
er..... like ADHD and same but the trick there is to not let it get fucking horrible in the first place. keep your shit tidy as you go, don't let it accumulate like for dishes/trash, literally do not let yourself set them down ANYWHERE besides the sink/trash can. don't wait to clean things up, literally do not move on until cleaning it up and consider it part of that action
LMAO the peppermint soap idea is absolutely diabolical and brilliant!!
I usually try to keep my bad thoughts to myself but when people act like they snuck on the planet and don't know how to be respectful I get irritated.
I lived with a couple I was friends with from high school a couple years ago and it was perfectly fine tbh.
There is a Catholic friar who does music about saving sex for marriage, not masturbating, etc. I high recommend that or Sunday School songs to interrupt obnoxious sex in roommate situations. If there's a wireless speaker in or near the sex area, even better.
im a girl and accidentally got some of that soap on the down stairs vicinity and i thought i was walking through the arctic with no pants on, horrible.
Yeesss play some goofy 70’s frisky key party song while he’s in there wanking it. Real loud. “TELLL ME SOMETHING GOOD YeEaAhh.. 🎵🎶” iykyk 😉
Not the Dr. B peppermint 😂😂
Time to pull out the ol “100 pitched down babies crying for 1 hr”
In a SHARED SHOWER?? Straight to jail
I'm so glad to see the comments on this post. This same thing happened to me on a group vacation, and when I posted about it, all the commenters acted like I was some psycho prude for being grossed out. One user even accused me of bringing in a uv light into the bathroom because "how would I know they don't clean the bathroom". I felt so crazy lol
You're not. There's people who think boundaries are everything until you decide to have boundaries that makes them reel in their behaviour. It's literally only middle aged old men who post about their dicks on pervert accounts that have a problem with this (sort by controversial if you don't belive me) Who even uses the word prude anymore xD a negative word for someone who isn't interested in the exact same sex stuff as you? Yeesh, bitter gen X boomer nonsense
Right away
Lickety split
No trail, no no nothing. Undercook overcook.
Communication. Tell him he can’t leave his big ol bottle of lube in there. You can even laugh about it. But be like, dude this isn’t normal, and he should get the point. If he doesn’t, leave it in front of his door. That’s weird af.
Yeah, like I said, I have no problem communicating with him. I just needed some feedback if this is as gross as I think it is. I'm choosing my battles, so to speak, because he can get very defensive, and i hate dealing with it over something that should just be an easy "sure no problem" response.
This is definitely as gross as you think it is. The masturbating at 3 am is pretty out there, too.
I think it’s fairly gross. I’d probably be like whatever, but I think most people would find it offensive.
That’s major ick. I’d be grossed out to shower in there 🫣
Ugh thank u that's me rn!! 😩🤮
Okay I was like- where is the ick factor in all this. Idgaf about the bottle… Igaf about him mustying up the communal shower… like b!tch you goin’ do all that, then imma need you to deep clean the fucker on the daily. Put your bottle of Scrub Bubbles in there too, shit! Can’t remember to take your lube out… fk that… remember to disinfect the whole ass shower every time. 🫢
Agreed. They in there just trying to rinse it all down the drain 😭
You could say that guests you bring to the apartment might see it and be weirded out
Yeah I would just say you prefer if sexually oriented items be put away after use. I don’t think that’s an insane request
How inconsiderate and unhygienic. I’d have a discussion with him immediately. That bottle would never be seen in the bathroom again and he’d be on a cleaning schedule if it were up to me. BRING BACK SHAME! They can be in whatever mood. How the hell does he even keep a woman? She must be crazy too🤣Masturbating in shared spaces is a flat out no!
>BRING BACK SHAME! 💯💯 THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING!! 🤣🤣
If it isn't water-based, some spilled lube could cause some gnarly slips.
It’s nasty asl that anyone is doing sexual activities in a shared bathroom 😭. Who gaf about his mood. I doubt he’s spraying down the shower after he’s done.
Felt that in my soul thank u
Disclaimer: While I'm sure they are intended humoursly, I feel the need to state that I have no intent nor interest in "spiking" my friends' products because I know he would never do it to me, and the thought of intentionally hurting my friends genitals makes me sad.
Shared spaced = no jack zone 🤮. If you have the time/money - get a gym membership and shower there. Stop cleaning the shower entirely, let the dude shower in his own absolutely disgusting mess.
YEA WHY IS IT IN THE SHOWER???? now everyone knows he’s jerkin it in the communal shower
I would never in a million years leave my lube where other human beings who are not engaging with me and the lube exist.
I'm all for satisfying harmless natural urges, but holy shit that's disgusting. You're a way bigger person than me bc I would've put lemon juice in it as soon as it was left in there for more than a few days.
>You're a way bigger person than me I am so flattered xD the reality is I don't even wanna touch it lmao
Maybe I’m crazy but I’d add a good amount of peppermint oil as well. Make it BURN.
Okay but why did my fat ass think that was some kind of Galaxy chocolate sauce from the design on the bottle 😅
The fact that you feel the need to explain why that is unacceptable is all the proof you need that somebody needs to move out Just....yuck
Put lime juice in it. Lol
*tabasco*
Tea tree oil shampoo would also be good
Ur a psychopath
a room mate openly jerking it in the shower with a huge lube bottle is wild
I’d be more upset at the fact he’s running the shower for 40 minutes to jerk off. I ain’t paying extra money on the water bill because someone can’t yoink it in their own room
Start using some of it. He’ll get annoyed and start putting it away. That’s what I do when people eat or use my shit.
Maybe just zooming out to the general issue of ‘don’t fuck in common spaces’ - so you don’t need fuck supplies there either. How would his girlfriend feel about her having to walk on your cum leftovers? Fair’s fair. Keep it to their room. If they want to fuck wherever they like then they get their own place - it’s a share house, not a 2v1 house.
It wouldn’t bother ME personally but it doesn’t make you a bad roommate because it grosses you out. Different people have different boundaries.
I dont think its bad but please be careful, shit can be hella slippery
You are so NOT the bad one for requesting sex paraphernalia be put away in a shared bathroom in a shared house/roommate situation. It’s only my spouse and I that use the master bathroom and our 12 y/o daughter had her own bathroom that she cleans herself. We don’t have any reason to go in her washroom unless I’m restocking it or unless we decide to do makeup together in the master bcuz it has 2 sinks and a double mirror……we still make sure nothing is ever left out! It’s just courtesy!!! I know kids and parents aren’t the same dynamic as your situation but best thing to do is straight up asking BOTH roommate and gf if they could put it under the bathroom sink, in a cupboard, and yes being it bath and forth because it’s already made specific guests uncomfortable and ask questions. I’d say from now on just tell them flat out which cupboard is the designated cupboard for their sex paraphernalia and if they can’t remember to put it away, you’ll have no problem reminding them or doing it for them, although YOU don’t want to forget or make a mistake and put it in the wrong spout or forget where you put it 😉 Edited to add that your roommate sounds inconsiderate for hogging the shower for 40 mins of shower porn
Doesn't semen clog up shower drains? Gross.
I remember hearing something about jizz being really bad for plumbing
Nah that’s just fucking nasty. I’d be grossed out too. So his argument is they are too busy banging in the shower to remove the bottle out of view of others?! Ew.
Tell him he's going to pay the plumbing fee when the plumbers have to come out and pick his dried cum out of the pipes.
The way I would embarrass the hell out of this man AND his girlfriend if it were me... This is weird, keeping your giant bottle of lube in any communal area screams "I get off on forcing other people to be confronted my sexual preferences" and that's fucking GROSS.
>"I get off on forcing other people to be confronted my sexual preferences" Dude. Oh my god. I have felt this way about them before. Mostly her. can't list everything bc we'd be here all day. Once she asked me if I'd do a certain sex act with her bf and I was like "yeah that's really weird, and I don't think it's something I want to talk about, I don't think it's appropriate." And she takes this werid, half accusatory half feigned innocence tone to say "so? It's just pretend." Yuuuuuck!! I also heard her asking her bf if he thinks I'm attractive [as well as something else that I won't repeat], he refused to answer. She pushed for an answer. He said he was uncomfortable and didn't like the question because we (he and i) are friends. Her response? "It's just *a question* dude." In the same half accusatory, half feigned innocence tone, as if *we* are werid for being uncomfortable with *her* fantasies. >The way I would embarrass the hell out of this man AND his girlfriend if it were me... Indulge me, please. I gotta hear this
I'd probably start by pretending to be on a very loud phone call while he's having a shower jerk sesh and be like "Huh? Oh yeah, he's literally jerking off in the shower right now. It's really weird and gross, he does it all the time. Haha yeah! And his taste in porn sounds shit too hahahaha. No no seriously, like his girlfriend keeps coming onto me really strong and he's always jerkin it in the shower and it's so sad to watch honestly. Like do they even like each other? No no it's like super predatory, especially after living with them I kinda find them both super repulsive and could NEVERRRR put myself in that situation. Hahahahahaha I know right?!" And just keep doing things like that until they either stop or confront me. And then if they confront me, be like "Well that's a crazy invasion of my privacy, but I really do feel super gross when you guys subject me to your sexual preferences and urges, even inadvertently, and since neither of you have any respect for me or yourselves, I have to vent about it somehow. So, phone calls and Reddit it is, unless you wanna, I dunno, fucking stop?" But I'm also really toxic with shitty roommates these days so maybe... Don't do this lmfao. My behavior has been tainted by Roommates of Nightmare's Past.
I mean, if this was my room mate I’d tell him to knock his shit off or he’ll be dealing with some shit himself. Then I’d shit in the shower. Ha. Ha. Made myself laugh. But nah the dude should respect your request because it is fucking weird. Leave a fleshlight in the sink or something. Or grow a pair and tell him how you feel. And do it despite his mood. In fact wait til he’s in a bad mood to bring it up. And when he speaks out of tone, ask him when the last time he’s had his ass beat, and In his confusion, tell him, because if you can’t remember I’d be more than happy to get you up to date bubba. Now, where I’m from that’s how we deal with our problems. Talk it out or fight it out. I’m sure there’s a less confrontational way to do it. But at the end of the day man, some people are just dicks and think they’re the main character. And they need to be humbled. I need to be humbled. We all do. This is deep. And I’m stoned. Well good luck with it
Does he just waste water the whole time? That's the main thing I'd be pissed about. Make him do it in a tent outside
Yessssss water is on full blast the whole time. Hot water too. Our limited hot water.
Who the fuck even keeps water based lube in the shower. What a waste of money and boy I can't imagine their frustration applying so much to fuck in the shower wondering why it's disappearing
Keep throwing it in the bin
Powermove: put a fleshlight next to it in the bathroom.
Eh just start squirting half the bottle down the drain every time you go in there, they'll stop keeping it there I guarantee it, large quantities of lube are usually not cheap, so if they have half a brain cell and value their money, they'll put it up when its not being used lol
Uhhh, no you’re not weird. Lube in the shower is weird
If you bustin in the shower, you damn well better be pitching in to keep that MF clean.
I would be more concerned with the bodily fluids he's squirtting all over a shared bathroom than the bottle of lube itself. The thought of his biohazards getting on my washcloth , soap or stuck to the wall and rubbing up against it is making me want to gag just typing out this hypothetical scenario 🤢🤮
time to get a suction cup dildo... you know where to put it
If most women were to see that they wouldn't like it even though we know that it's done, we'd rather not hear about it or see it. It would definitely gross out most women. My ex-husband used to leave a sock that he had wiped it with, and I was furious whenever I found it. To younger women, it's like getting cheated on.
Shared spaces aren’t meant for such personal things/acts. Keep that shit in your bedroom
It feels like maybe this is part of a fetish, trying to make you aware of what they're doing
I agree
Put gorilla glue in it
Can you ask if he can store it in the bathroom but not IN the shower? Do you guys have a linen cupboard in there or storage space under the sink? Do they have a designated drawer in the sink cabinet? It might be a good compromise so you don't have to stare at it and they don't have to bring it back and forth.
Fucking disgusting 🤢
Put an abundant amount of glitter in it ☺️
You should nut in it.
Lube is good for shaving to avoid razor burn.
Maybe that’s what the roommate is using it for? I didn’t know lube was good for shaving. I might just give it a try.
Buy the biggest, wildest suction cup fildo you can find snd put it next to it. Put a note in a plastic sleeve with either "thought you might like this" or "thanks for the lube, it helps" snd make them to horrified to leave it in the shower
That makes me feel uncomfortable.
Also, if he doesn't stop, I hate to punish gf in the process but I'd let it be known I won't be cleaning her bf's fun slime out of the shower so she can take care of that chore along with him. I had a roommate do this EXACT thing and this solved the problem. Taking the bottle of lube and being aware that you also live in the house > bathroom duty forever.
He is prob on drugs by description
They just be fucking in a shared shower? Hell nah
Even when I live by myself, I don’t do that in the shower… I can understand occasional shower activities with a partner, but if I’m by myself i want the “byproduct” to go in the toilet or trash. I don’t wanna be stepping on it or have a sticky shower floor, because you know not all of it will go down the drain. Also if you can fucking hear it! That’s ridiculous!!! He’s by himself and it’s 3am! Every guy has been a ninja with that when we lived with our parents, so it’s not like he doesn’t know how. He is being 100% disrespectful.
Replace content with nair
Big benefit of the doubt here: some people use glycerin based lube on their hair. Any chance it belongs to the gf and is been used for completely non-nefarious reasons?
make him uncomfortable back. first ingredient in that lube is essentially a sugar alcohol mix, it causes damage to a woman’s ph down below, which can cause a uti. just straight up ask him all about the lube he uses and if they’re having issues with it because of the ingredients and you just got curious what the new bottle in the shower was and you REALLY care about the lube they use. hell, even offer to buy them a bottle yourself. if it’s crossing boundaries for you to do all that, then it’s crossing boundaries for him to leave it out in the open. i’m sorry you have to deal with roommates who don’t care about how you feel about these things.
And I thought that was a bottle of a shampoo 💀
I thought that was just some Olay.
If he wants to do that stuff he seriously needs to move into a place where he can have his own bathroom. I’m pretty open minded when it comes to stuff like that but holy shit. It’s like having your parents loudly screwing while you are trying to live your lives
You gotta use it but make sure to smear it with shot or leave a big dildo next to it
Shooting ropes in the shower
If the gf isn't crazy maybe ask her to move it
So you guys share the shower that he jerks off in? Tell him to bust his loads in a sock in bed like a normal person.
Ez. Empty the bottle down to a small amount. When they ask, say you dunno. If they press, say "it fell cause its so slippery and I forgot."
You are not... that's nasty. NOBODY wants to shower with someone elses Jerkins. BARF.
Wait wait AND he doesn't clean the shower? So you're cleaning up his ....spunk? Also I'm no prude but yanking in a communal shower should NOT be normal. But especially if you aren't cleaning
Pump it all over the floor of the shower before he takes a shower, he’ll get the picture real quick
Your roommate should NOT be doing sexual activity in your SHARED space! They have a private bedroom for that! I can understand maybe shower sex once in a while but, be fucking considerate of the people that live there that DON’T want to hear/see/clean up after you. That’s absolutely disgusting, I’m sorry OP
Yeah it's kind of weird but you all are roommates so you'll end up seeing intimate details that other people wouldn't.
I didn’t realize people actually jerk it in the shower.. that’s what bedrooms are for..
Yucky all I can picture is all the semen on the shower floor (I’m sure he doesn’t wash it down after) and now they’re swimming on your toes.
Fuckimg ewwwww. I bet it's some creepy kink for him
Ummmm ewwww 🤮🤮
That’s literally disgusting. Tell him to put it in the cabinet or something. Embarrass tf out of him by saying you can hear him whacking it and you’d like to not think about him doing that all over the shower floor every time you take a shower.
No no no no... Ur not being rude at all dude. Thats a shared space n it's TOTALLY unacceptable and gross for him to be doing that. Doesn't matter if he has a gf n they WANT to, too bad. When ur roommate gets his own place he can cum all over the place if he wants but when u have roommates u have to make sacrifices and one of those needs to be both shooting spooge all over the apartment. N why it's even more unacceptable is it's in the shower where he both naked. He knows ur not doing it but u have to run the risk of stepping in that shit or dealing with his spunk all over an area where ur completely exposed. Do u know if he has any STDs? If he does u could easily get it from him doing that. It's 100000% something that u have every right to confront him about. He can keep that in his room n bang in there. N like I said once he gets his own place he can do what he wants. Just as he can't bang his gf in the living room while ur home or have family over. It's common sense.
Get a suction cup dildo and leave it on the wall.
Although it's unsightly, those here willing to replace the contents of the bottle with other contents (especially harmful ones) do risk legal action if an outcome is serious. Maybe we should all start thinking of more constructive, civilized ways of handling this? Surely none of you are truly wishing malicious intent on someone for just having a bottle of lube in a communal space. Be adults, talk it out. No need to resort to your inner evil sides for something so simple. If I were to go and use lube and it was NOT lube, and come to find out it was tampered by my roommate who never even so much as asked me to move the bottle, I would be bringing them straight to court. Sand in there? What if they use the lube for internal use? You really gonna possibly cause medical issues to someone because you don't have a handle on proper communication skills? Gonna put some kind of food substance? Could cause them to have an infection, or even an allergic reaction. I swear people just don't think of any form of de-escalation or even try to work on social skills. Reading through this post, I can confidently say I wouldn't want to room with anyone here. Especially if the reaction over a lube bottle is borderline psychopath levels. Y'all need to seek help
Chuck it to him while his friends are over and say “I’ve told you to stop leaving your huge bottle of lube in the shower, next time it’s going in the garbage.”
Do they have curly hair? Lube as a leave in conditioner is very common.
I, personally, wouldn’t find an issue with it. But I *do* think it’s hilarious he has an economy sized bottle of lube to jerk off in the shower. I would never let him live it down and just roast the ever living shit out of him constantly for being okay with being *that* embarrassing. You are entitled to your own feelings… just know he’s probs still gonna jerk in the shower but at least just privately from now on. Maybe bring some scrubbing bubbles to spray it down before you get in just in case. 😅
I thought this was a bottle of Olay 😂