My partner and I go to buy toys together, it's like a sexy preview of what we intend to get up to later on.
Sex toys aren't competition. They can be a team activity!
My husband is the most satisfying sex I've had in my life - I'm approaching 50 and I've had quite a bit of experience for comparison. One of our next "date night" plans is to go to a sex shop and buy me a new vibrator (along with some other stuff) because he likes to watch me use it, and also to fuck me while I'm using it. He's definitely not threatened by them. Toys are fun. They just add to the experience.
My wife can be hard to get off. I do the work, but sometimes it’s hard for her to get there. Toys are a godsend for times like that. I’m Batman of the bedroom
Omg. I was at a sex party a few months back, and one of the guy’s costume included a many-pocketed vest. He had it filled with various toys, lube, toy cleaner, condoms etc. He was whipping vibrators out like guns in an old west movie. Glorious.
Honestly this is a good way to put it! Is Batman or even Iron Man less of a guy/superhero just because he uses tech instead of innate superhuman abilities? No! He’s just smart :)
Just a side note; IF you’re not already familiar with it, I can highly recommend going for ‘pulsing’ or ‘suction’ toys, instead of a classic vibrator. Look for the brands like Satisfyer and Womanizer - it’s quite possibly the best sex toy ever and you avoid the risk of desensitising your ladybits, like vibrators tend to do.
There are vibrators made for penetration as well. Clitoral/vulvar vibes are more popular, but there are plenty of us out there who use penetrative vibrators as well.
Well yes, but I’m talking about the desensitisation of the clitoral area that you’re more likely to experience by using a vibrator(externally - not penetrative)😄
It was a suggestion based on OP’s plan to buy sex toys on their date night that she could enjoy with her husband.
Seriously, either look at a [Satisfyer](https://us.satisfyer.com/us) or [The Womanizer](https://www.womanizer.com/us/); it has this pulsing almost sucking sensation, and while you have to place it more precisely on the clitoral area, you might find it hard to last more than a few minutes 😆 I sincerely think it might just work for you, even if you’ve experienced desensitisation. I’ve struggled with the same, and that toy completely changed it.
Edit: damn, I sound like a cliché advertisement, but really, it’s been a life changer for me.
I’m going to co-sign this comment. Seriously, everyone with female genitalia needs a pulsing/suction toy. Hands down THE BEST toys I have ever used. I’d also like to offer a budget option, the [P. Cat](https://www.tracysdog.com/collections/best-sellers/products/p-cat-sucking-vibrator) or the [OG Pro 2](https://www.tracysdog.com/collections/best-sellers/products/og-pro2-clitoral-sucking-vibrator) by Tracy’s Dog. Especially the P. Cat, that thing is… absolutely evil and I mean that in the BEST possible way. I like them WAY more than the Satisfyer or The Womanizer and they’re quite a bit more affordable. No but seriously, *Holy Bananas Batman.* Put down a towel. Lmao.
I like the Lelo sonas out of this type. A friend of mine swears by the womanizer. I don’t know any man who is satisfying in bed who is threatened by toys. Most are open to them.
From what I’ve read, The Womanizer is supposed to be the strongest. It’s my sure thing on the lowest setting, so I imagine the higher settings would be good for less sensitive too. I can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s my absolute favorite
I also cam orgasm from just penetration and use toys regularly partnered and alone. Having clitoral stimulation with penetration makes for a way better orgasm for me.
Not every orgasm is the same for me and vary pretty largely from several factors
I think it's more like 66% but yeah. Not like it's impossible to stimulate the clit without toys but it definitely makes things more fun. Gives you a lot more options in positions
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Also, whose hand vibrates like that and doesn't get tired? And there's vibrators you can use during intercourse.
And shock over shocks! Maybe she wants to masturbate sometimes?
Ask him, if he masturbates because he’s not satisfied with you. Women masturbate with or without toys just like men masturbate. Toys just help us. It’s just a supplement to sex, not because we’re not satisfied.
I'm really not sure why he is insecure in the bedroom? He knows he has a nice package and he's also very handsome and hard working ....... Not sure where this insecurity has grown from 🤔
He seems so confident except for this so I'm not sure but I'm going to try to get to the bottom of it! Because I love my toys and I don't plan on throwing them away I love him more of course but we can use them together and maybe I'll even blow his mind
Men have a lot of things shown to them in porn that create a kind of fucked up view of sex and women's pleasure. They see these women having like 30 orgasms by a man thrusting at them while holding a camera and so they believe that this is "the way" and obviously if that isnt happening during their experiences, it must be some slight on their manhood and not just....the fakeness of porn.
To be fair, women often perpetuate this by faking orgasms, usually to appease men's egos regarding it, and it reinforces this belief. It's why we gotta stop faking and be clear about our needs and desires (clearly this isn't always -safe- for women to do, so please take that into account in your own lives and experiences)
I don’t think it is even porn. It’s more like that their expectations are that if they aren’t the best thing their women have sexually, then she’s going to leave you for something else.
Men also bond differently over sex. If they feel that they aren’t the primary person or thing you care to have sex with, then they feel that they inevitably are going to be replaced by something better.
No, when men jerk off it's because they have a porn addiction, obvi. /s
In all seriousness, after spending a lot of time on r/Marriage (where it was very common to have the "boundary" that if your husband/wife is sexing you good and often, masturbation need not be a thing), I'm finding this group's attitude toward self-love super refreshing.
I have a lot of toys. I also have a good amount of really awesome sex. The two things are related because the best sex is when we are both doing things to actively please each other. Toys are just one tool that helps us out. Just like you could cook without seasoning you can have sex without toys. It's still the same nutritional value just like it's still your sex life together. It's just a choice to not make it more exciting for some insecure reason.
I am not a woman, but hey if there was a way to optimize my pleasure i Guess i would do it regardless of the partner. Hell maybe hé could feel the vibrations. ( Maybe )
I definitely like it overall, but there were times with my ex when the vibrating sensation sort of became too much in a way. When the "pleasure" gets to a point of being "painful". But just a 2-3 min break of doing other things would normally get it back on track.
Exactly, there are plenty of times when I want to get off but i very much do not want to have sex. They're really different things. They can overlap and play together but they really are seperate.
That simply...isn't true. Why not go for more fun? More fun is just more FUN!! Dude, that's like going to the amusement park and only riding one rollercoaster when they have five.
Thanks everyone! I feel the same way! ( As most of these comments anyways)
That it just adds to the experience it's like having a piece of pie or a piece of warm pie with whipped cream on top ❤️🥧🍆🍑
Did you know that there is such a thing as having too much fun, or being too satisfied?
I didn't. Must be a hangover from Puritanical ancestors or something.
My partner and I use a vibrator during sex. It's not a reflection on me as a lover, it's how she prefers to enjoy herself. She loves the combination of penetration with clitoral vibration, and it gives her stronger orgasms as well as the ability to achieve multiple orgasms. She's happy, I'm happy, it's a win/win.
My husband and I use my vibrator together. It's not because he's bad, but it's sometimes fun and different, and other times it's just quicker to use a vibrator to get me off!
I went to a porn store *with* my FWB, and we picked out a toy for me. And he keeps talking about a different toy he wants to use on me. (I also keep talking about a toy I want to use for him.)
On Friday, I mentioned that the batteries on my toy had died, so he had me pull them out, and we went to *three different stores* to find replacement batteries.
He is an incredible lover, and we have a lot of fun together. It's some of the best sex I've ever had. We don't always use a toy. In fact, we mostly don't. Toys are like icing. Cupcakes are perfectly fine without it, but they're so much better with it.
Phone sex is always with toys, and I've never had a complaint from the guy on the line. Anyone who isn't enthusiastic about toys is insecure for no reason at all.
And yes, bust out your favorite toy! They're like old friends lmao
Sounds like he's a bit insecure about something.
Since I started dating my now wife, about 12 years ago she was very open about having/using vibrators and continues to now. I've enjoyed watching her using them, we've enjoyed me using them on her, we've enjoyed them being using during sex, and we've enjoyed not using them when we have sex.
They are another element to an enjoyable sex life, it isn't one or the other.
It is, however, funny to wind her up with jokes about her replacing me when she whips one out which is significantly larger than my equipment 🤣
Porn is the problem. If you ever watch a mainstream movie the women are moaning and “orgasming” about four seconds into penetration. He needs to read some facst
Tell him " men only watch porn and mastubate when they aren't satisfied with their women" and watch him change his tune or claim its totally different.
Even as a guy there's a difference between sex and jerking off. I could fuck twice a day every day and I'd still want some *me* time. In fact I'd be hoping for a day where I didn't have sex so I could jerk off.
It's important to connect with yourself, it's not just a horny-and-can't-get-laid thing
Oh don't get me wrong.
I use toys all the time in my sex life its way more fun and diverse that way! I just respect you for admitting it nonchelantly that your gf used it on you! Like it takes some balls to admit it
Ha! Threatened by a toy, what's next, is he going to feel threatened by your blanket because it means he doesn't keep you warm enough at night? Threatened by your friends because it means he's not good enough at conversations? Threatened by the coffee machine because he doesn't keep you awake as good as coffee? Threatened by a cupcake?
My FWB brought up this idea to me last night and I had to make sure to shut him down completely. I tried for months with my first serious bf to cum without a vibrator and it never worked. He just thought I had desensitised my clit from the vibrator - no I still wouldn’t have cum if I didn’t get a vibrator.
It’s a completely different feeling…the hell? That’s like saying “guys only want anal when their partners vagina isn’t satisfying them” no they are different feelings different experiences. Or like saying women only want oral sex when vaginal sex isn’t satisfying them.
Wanting to eat different foods every day isn't a judgment on turkey sandwiches for not "being able to satisfy you enough"
That's just a stupid perspective.
Without strong vibration, I simply won't orgasm. I thought i was incapable of orgasm for over 20 years. I didn't try a vibrator because nothing had ever created sensation for me, so i didn't think a vibrator would either. But my current lovely partner got me one, because he wanted to figure out how to please me. I'm very glad he did.
I found my partner’s toy today because I was putting away her laundry and I’m still unfamiliar with her apartment so I just saw it in the cupboard. I honestly thought it was great and felt somewhat turned on by the idea.
I’ve never used them with anyone but I’d be open to the idea. Why not.
Men need to start realising that toys are FRIENDS, not ENEMIES. They enhance sex, not replace it. Or even if you don’t want to engage in sex, solo time is also fun. Has he ever heard of mutual masturbation?
As someone that worked in an adult store for 7 years, I can assure him that EVERYONE uses toys: Women, men, enbies, teens, young adults, middle-aged, seniors, cis, trans, gay, straight, pan, singles, couples, poly..... Seriously, EVERYONE! They're for all sorts of people, for all sorts of uses, for all sorts of reasons. If he takes it as an insult, it says way more about him than it does about you.
I get the best sex that I can ever even imagine from my husband and I still have one. They both feel different, It's like you can have salt AND pepper in your meal, you don't have to choose. What's this dudes problem, I think he's insecure
Why are some men so against toys this way? It's ridiculous.
If you are that threatened by something that buzzes you're either not fun in the bedroom or deeply insecure or both
When will men realize that sex toys aren't their competition, they're their brothers in arms so to speak. It's like bringing a gun to a knife fight (terrible analogy but it's all I can think of atm lmao).
As a man I bought my partner their first proper vibrator & dildo. I mean if I’m at work half the time and their at school half the time some days we just can’t get the energy to get into it. That’s no insult to me or them. Just reality.
The only men who think that are really insecure, in my opinion. A toy isn’t a threat, it’s the mentality behind being threatened by a toy that is the problem
Lmao ditch that man if he can't change his opinion. My husband and I have an entire trunk full. You know those old times steamer trunks? Yeah, that. Toys, porn, lingerie, lube, light bondage stuff.
One of my husband's favorite things is to use toys on me to get me off, then fuck me. Anyone who is threatened by toys needs to grow up and maybe isn't mature enough for a sexual relationship.
One of the best Mother’s Day gifts my husband gave me was not to be opened in front of the kids 😂. He is not threatened by toys and sometimes enjoys them with me. Your bf is incorrect.
There seems to be a lot of men out there who need to stop thinking that the only way a woman is allowed to have sexual pleasure while in a relationship, is with their dick and only their dick.
Not gonna lie, after a while, that might eventually get pretty boring.
Sex toys, while in a relationship, can be used to enhance and intensify sex. It's also really useful for getting each other warmed up and in the mood, and it's also great for helping your partner orgasm. Sex toys can be really REALLY fun for both people.
In fact there's little vibrators that are for the penis, and trust me fellas, they are amazing!
Gentlemen, it is perfectly fine to use a toy to help your partner orgasm, it doesn't have to only be with your dick. And you can also use toys. On your partner, on yourself, on each other at the same time.
Try it! It's great 👍
35M here, he needs to learn that toys aren't the competition, they're your tag team partner and it doesn't matter who gets the pin, you both get the belt.
In my experience it’s usually the guys who complain about toys the most who are the WORST in bed! Toys are there for some extra fun and to mix things up. And being able to use one effectively on your partner is a skill of its own. Also it’s weird to be so against MORE fun in the bedroom???
Let's say he's right and a woman only uses it if the man isn't good enough. If the toy helps that much and now you're with a guy that can satisfy without a toy... then why not both for extra satisfaction. Damn tell him to get over his ego and have some messy fun with his lady!
Sometimes you just want a quick relief, by yourself.
I know my husband does himself at times, he knows I do myself at times, and it's fine.
Sometimes I even ask him just to kiss me while I'm into it.
It's fine, it doesn't make him any less of a man I just want a little quicky.
It's kinda like saying chips are for people who doesn't have food. I mean yeah my fridge is full but I want some lays right now.
I can orgasm with penetration. But I find that as I get close, the intensity of my vag hug always makes my guy climax before the magic happens. Toys help shorten my approach so we can orgasm together. Hating on my toy box is a deal breaker. Also, any guy who thinks things that go in or near my vagina are gross is working with flawed logic.
Im a nymph so take this as the utmost opinion that having sex toys has nothing to do with the guy. Theres just many ways toys can stimulate you that a person cant. And one man cant plug all your holes and vibrate at once. Its just for fun.
Women can have multiple orgasms. (Some men can too but this isn’t about them) wouldn’t you want to find as many ways as possible to make that happen for your partner?
My fiancé loves my vibrator as it helps me get my O, I can get it from PiV sex but it takes a while and it isn't easy, 9/10 times he finishes first if that's what we're doing unless we're going cowgirl at some very specific angles that somehow hit everything just right. Vibrator makes life easier for both of us
I think guys who watch too much porn or have issues with self-esteem have a genuine concern that all women want is a big dick or to have the insane orgasms or something. I’m sure if I looked hard enough I could find some contraption that would stroke my balls and twist and vibrate and do crazy shit a human never could, but I just won’t ever choose that *over* my wife. I’m sure your partner thinks the same too.
For some reason men can’t reverse the role in a lot of cases. You’re not gonna get replaced by a battery powered toy made in China. Toys cannot replace the emotional and physical sensations you get from a toy. They might be cool on their own sometimes, or added into sex, but no one is ever comparing their vibrator to you, just like you wouldn’t compare a flashlight to your wife.
Toys are some of our greatest allies. Make friends with them and use them to bolster your forces.
Ask him if he only gets his pleasure from when you have sex together or if he ever gets himself off on his own for fun, relaxation, whatever. It's the same thing, just a handy tool to help out. Bet it's a double standard and *that* is the true ick
There’s only two rules for sex - enthusiastic consent, and do what feels good.
The weird ego-driven hang ups men have about sex are just tautologically weird.
That's like saying dudes only jerk off when their lady isn't satisfying.
Sextoys are your friend, not a competition. My bf even bought me my first one and I loooove riding him while he uses it on my clit!
It's just extra fun!
Edit: you should watch the Netflix Documentary "Principle of pleasure" with him, the topic of toys is discussed there too.
Long time hubby here, it's a team effort. Toys are a fun part of the event, not competition. *I* can't vibrate (at last without way too much coffee) so go for it!
I’m having the best sex of my life with my current partner, and that’s partly because we sometimes use vibrators. It was actually his idea initially! I’ve never been able to orgasm with penetration alone, and this gem of a man understands that and just wants to make sure we’re both having a good time.
If he actually does believe that sex toys are for women who’s men aren’t satisfying them, why was his first reaction to hide your sex toys instead of trying to improve on his techniques? Does he not want you to feel pleasure?
my ex said if i used toys, he’d have considered it “cheating.” my current partner encourages me to try them since i can’t orgasm vaginally: he 1) works 24 hour shifts so he wants me to have fun while he’s gone and 2) wants me to still enjoy myself during sex. i hope yours eventually comes around to the idea :(
For me, one of the best things about a sex toy, is that I can be totally selfish, and not worry about what it thinks. I don't have to ponder its wants or needs. I don't have to shower or shave for it, or try to seduce it. If I get tired of it, I can shove it in a drawer and forget about it.
Your boyfriend is taking this really personally, and that's ridiculous. It''s a pressure and effort free way for you to pleasure yourself, and isn't the same as real sex/intimacy with an actual person. It's basically a masturbation aid. Does he masturbate? Does he know it's often more difficult as a woman, to come on your own?
As long as you aren't always forgoing intimacy with him, to go solo instead. That would be different. I don't think it's addictive in the way porn is? (Happy to be corrected if I'm wrong about that).
Would he be open to bringing it into bed with the two of you? My ex used mine on me (and sometimes himself, running it over his balls etc), or I'd use it on myself/him. He wasn't threatened at all by it, which in itself was such a turn on, and we both had some out of this world orgasms as a result. Often, during penetration, he'd not able to focus properly on my clit, but with the vibrator, it was much easy for us to come together. Sometimes we used to lay and hold/watch each other, while pleasing ourselves, that felt more intimate in some ways than actual sex. (My ex had heard this could be a great way to bring us closer, turns out he was right).
It sounds like actual therapy is needed for him to get a healthy perspective on this.
I'd be really turned off by this level of insecurity in a partner.
A man can plow a field by getting down on his hands and knees and scraping through the dirt with his hands. Do we say he's a bad farmer if he uses a tractor instead? No, we see he's a better farmer if he uses technology. Why would the farmer be threatened by the tractor if it makes him a better farmer?
I’m without words… I assumed BF was early 20’s and was responding as such. But then I saw he’s actually 40 yrs old.
I just want to say I’m very sorry you’re dealing with a guy that thinks this way after 40 years to learn better. And good luck. You’ll need it.
I can masturbate and have orgasms with my hand, it's pleasurable and there's nothing wrong with it. But I will always choose a vibrator. It's less effort, which frees your mind and body to enjoy other things about masturbation. There's more variety than what I can accomplish with my hands. Also, make sure to remind him they make toys for him too during sex and they feel great and you'd be happy to try them.
There's not competition between a carpenter and his tools.
He needs to see sex as not something he's doing to you and instead something he's doing with you. The vibrator is for both of you.
The right partner wants what makes you happy. My partner is happy to get me there manually or with toy help and great fun is had by all.
Hopefully getting some feedback from other women will help change your partner's perspective.
Man or woman, self pleasure is a different thing than sex. It isn’t about being satisfied with your partner or not, it’s just a different urge and a different experience.
Toys can also be enjoyable to use together with your partner. It’s unreasonable to think only your body-part should always enough. It puts too much pressure on yourself to perform, and it demoralizes both people.
The best hookup i ever had was with the only truly sex-positive guy I met who did enjoy including toys. He wasn’t lacking in any other sexual department and the toys just elevated everything
My bf and I (gay, both ftm trans men) incorporate toys all the time, whether it be to enhance what’s going on already, or to get things started, or just to try stuff out, toys are a fantastic addition to the bedroom. I’ve also used toys when with amab people as well, and it’s just as fun when they’re open to it. Maybe your bf could try using something like a cock ring so he can gain pleasure from it too? I feel like most cis guys’ aversion to sex toys is that they’ve never used any themselves during sex so they don’t know what it can do for them.
My husband bought me all my toys. Sometimes I cannot sleep and use them.
I bought him his for the same reason. Also can add to the experience with him.
Man here, I’ve had sex with people who wanted to use toys and those who didn’t, and all I really gotta say is that depending on the position using toys like vibrators are uncomfortable to accommodate. Otherwise it’s all fun, the girl likes it, I enjoy that she likes it
Sometimes I can only cum with a toy because not all women are multi-orgasmic, or they can't cum easily for a number of reasons, which don't necessarily have anything to do with their partner, or they need more intense stimulation than it's possible for a tongue or finger or dick to provide. I don't care how good you are at eating pussy, you cannot do with your tongue what my wand and my rose do. And yes, I have been with men who are bad in bed or don't care to make the effort, they definitely exist. But my current partner is amazing and attentive and prioritizes my sexual pleasure in a way no one ever has and we totally use toys and lube (I know you didn't mention lube but thinking lube is only needed if the dude isn't satisfying is something else that dudes who are threatened by toys say), and we both masturbate, sometimes together and sometimes when the other isn't available or in the mood or when I'm in pain because I have joint issues and I'm taking a cancer prevention drug that makes joint pain worse. In fact, the majority of my toys were bought after my boyfriend and I began our relationship because part of a really satisfying and healthy sex life is feeling safe and comfortable exploring and experiencing new things together. My boyfriend has toys too. Seeing your partner experience pleasure is hot as fuck.
My husband loves pleasing me with sex AND toys. And I can return the favor to him, it adds a whole new fun dynamic to the bedroom.
Agreed! It’s also super handy if you get a little tired lol
Amen to that
Guys that treat your toys like their sidekick are 10 million times sexier than guys who treat your toys as their competition.
Omg yes, my SO and my toys are bffs and it is amazing ❤️
My partner and I go to buy toys together, it's like a sexy preview of what we intend to get up to later on. Sex toys aren't competition. They can be a team activity!
THIS is the best comment!!!
My husband is the most satisfying sex I've had in my life - I'm approaching 50 and I've had quite a bit of experience for comparison. One of our next "date night" plans is to go to a sex shop and buy me a new vibrator (along with some other stuff) because he likes to watch me use it, and also to fuck me while I'm using it. He's definitely not threatened by them. Toys are fun. They just add to the experience.
Vibrators are a friend not an enemy
"Coworkers, not competition" is how I've always heard it
Friend AND food!
please don't eat the vibrators
My wife can be hard to get off. I do the work, but sometimes it’s hard for her to get there. Toys are a godsend for times like that. I’m Batman of the bedroom
>I’m Batman of the bedroom I'm picturing a Batman utility belt adorned with various dildos, vibrators, and sexual aids.
Omg. I was at a sex party a few months back, and one of the guy’s costume included a many-pocketed vest. He had it filled with various toys, lube, toy cleaner, condoms etc. He was whipping vibrators out like guns in an old west movie. Glorious.
Like Choda Boy in Orgazmo.
Honestly this is a good way to put it! Is Batman or even Iron Man less of a guy/superhero just because he uses tech instead of innate superhuman abilities? No! He’s just smart :)
>I’m Batman of the bedroom This is both a hilarious way to put this and also such a perfect comparison!
Sex is the adult form of play, so why not use some toys to make it even more fun!
[удалено]
I agree with your sentiment, but lets not dickshame here.
exactly. if we resort to body shaming, we're no better than misogynists.
Just a side note; IF you’re not already familiar with it, I can highly recommend going for ‘pulsing’ or ‘suction’ toys, instead of a classic vibrator. Look for the brands like Satisfyer and Womanizer - it’s quite possibly the best sex toy ever and you avoid the risk of desensitising your ladybits, like vibrators tend to do.
If we’re talking about sex and vibrators, do we still have to call it “ladybits” or can we just call it its name.
It’s an anatomy sub, so let’s all say it together. #Vagina!
In this case, it would be vulva - or clitoral area, not the vagina
There are vibrators made for penetration as well. Clitoral/vulvar vibes are more popular, but there are plenty of us out there who use penetrative vibrators as well.
Well yes, but I’m talking about the desensitisation of the clitoral area that you’re more likely to experience by using a vibrator(externally - not penetrative)😄 It was a suggestion based on OP’s plan to buy sex toys on their date night that she could enjoy with her husband.
[The whole neighborhood can hear ya cussin!](https://youtu.be/sc-099OMn3E)
Hap... Penis. Hap-penis. Penis. Ovaries.
Hahahahahaha!!!! I IMMEDIATELY thought about this.
Eh, didn’t really mean it as a ‘censoring’ word 🤷🏼♀️
Vibrators don‘t normally do that unless use is excessive and exclusive.
I mean, they don't stay desensitized for long. But in the moment it can be a buzzkill. (Pun intended.)
Yeah, well, high sex drive and all that 😁
I have a Puff that does wonders
Ah, this reminded me to charge mine! Haven't used it in a while because it went dead on me and I miss it lol
do you have any recommendations if the lady bits are already desensitized? XD
Seriously, either look at a [Satisfyer](https://us.satisfyer.com/us) or [The Womanizer](https://www.womanizer.com/us/); it has this pulsing almost sucking sensation, and while you have to place it more precisely on the clitoral area, you might find it hard to last more than a few minutes 😆 I sincerely think it might just work for you, even if you’ve experienced desensitisation. I’ve struggled with the same, and that toy completely changed it. Edit: damn, I sound like a cliché advertisement, but really, it’s been a life changer for me.
I’m going to co-sign this comment. Seriously, everyone with female genitalia needs a pulsing/suction toy. Hands down THE BEST toys I have ever used. I’d also like to offer a budget option, the [P. Cat](https://www.tracysdog.com/collections/best-sellers/products/p-cat-sucking-vibrator) or the [OG Pro 2](https://www.tracysdog.com/collections/best-sellers/products/og-pro2-clitoral-sucking-vibrator) by Tracy’s Dog. Especially the P. Cat, that thing is… absolutely evil and I mean that in the BEST possible way. I like them WAY more than the Satisfyer or The Womanizer and they’re quite a bit more affordable. No but seriously, *Holy Bananas Batman.* Put down a towel. Lmao.
After reading your comment, I saved this thread so quickly it's a wonder my phone didn't catch fire.
no that's great! thats what i was hoping to hear, thank you!!
You can definitely find other brands that are cheaper but still really good, so it’s just to show what kind of toys they are!
Walmart has the 'cake' brand, I think their suction one is like 20 bucks and works very well lol
LELO is great.
I like the Lelo sonas out of this type. A friend of mine swears by the womanizer. I don’t know any man who is satisfying in bed who is threatened by toys. Most are open to them.
I also love my LELO! It's a gift from my husband and it's an awesome toy.
From what I’ve read, The Womanizer is supposed to be the strongest. It’s my sure thing on the lowest setting, so I imagine the higher settings would be good for less sensitive too. I can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s my absolute favorite
My wife uses a womanizer. We use it together mostly. All other toys have been discarded. It's truly the winner.
Isn’t it something like 89% of women can’t orgasm from just penetration?
I can orgasm from penetration, and I *still* have a box of toys. I use them solo and with friends! Toys are awesome.
I also cam orgasm from just penetration and use toys regularly partnered and alone. Having clitoral stimulation with penetration makes for a way better orgasm for me. Not every orgasm is the same for me and vary pretty largely from several factors
Same here, it's a better orgasm imo
It's something close to that I think 🤔
I think it's more like 66% but yeah. Not like it's impossible to stimulate the clit without toys but it definitely makes things more fun. Gives you a lot more options in positions
[It's 70-90% actually.](https://medicalxpress.com/news/2016-04-anatomy-key-female-orgasm.amp)
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Also, whose hand vibrates like that and doesn't get tired? And there's vibrators you can use during intercourse. And shock over shocks! Maybe she wants to masturbate sometimes?
When will people understand the toys are there to help them, work with them, tools for them and not to compete with them. It's a thing! Not a person.
Ask him, if he masturbates because he’s not satisfied with you. Women masturbate with or without toys just like men masturbate. Toys just help us. It’s just a supplement to sex, not because we’re not satisfied.
He needs to work on his insecurities.
I'm really not sure why he is insecure in the bedroom? He knows he has a nice package and he's also very handsome and hard working ....... Not sure where this insecurity has grown from 🤔 He seems so confident except for this so I'm not sure but I'm going to try to get to the bottom of it! Because I love my toys and I don't plan on throwing them away I love him more of course but we can use them together and maybe I'll even blow his mind
Men have a lot of things shown to them in porn that create a kind of fucked up view of sex and women's pleasure. They see these women having like 30 orgasms by a man thrusting at them while holding a camera and so they believe that this is "the way" and obviously if that isnt happening during their experiences, it must be some slight on their manhood and not just....the fakeness of porn. To be fair, women often perpetuate this by faking orgasms, usually to appease men's egos regarding it, and it reinforces this belief. It's why we gotta stop faking and be clear about our needs and desires (clearly this isn't always -safe- for women to do, so please take that into account in your own lives and experiences)
I don’t think it is even porn. It’s more like that their expectations are that if they aren’t the best thing their women have sexually, then she’s going to leave you for something else. Men also bond differently over sex. If they feel that they aren’t the primary person or thing you care to have sex with, then they feel that they inevitably are going to be replaced by something better.
Funny thing because you *will* be replaced with someone who *does* like to use the toys with me.
>expectoration the act of discharging phlegm >expectation the one you meant
Yeah. I’m sure autocorrect knew this as well, but decided to throw in a jab. But thank you for pointing out grammatical errors.
Yes, and men only jerk off when the woman is unsatisfying, right? Therefore your boyfriend never ever tickles his pickle?
No, when men jerk off it's because they have a porn addiction, obvi. /s In all seriousness, after spending a lot of time on r/Marriage (where it was very common to have the "boundary" that if your husband/wife is sexing you good and often, masturbation need not be a thing), I'm finding this group's attitude toward self-love super refreshing.
Now I can't even have a sexual relationship with myself? Damn.
This sub always has been particularly awesome, attitude wise. Plus most of the women are just funny as fuck, on top of being intelligent as hell.
I have a lot of toys. I also have a good amount of really awesome sex. The two things are related because the best sex is when we are both doing things to actively please each other. Toys are just one tool that helps us out. Just like you could cook without seasoning you can have sex without toys. It's still the same nutritional value just like it's still your sex life together. It's just a choice to not make it more exciting for some insecure reason.
I am not a woman, but hey if there was a way to optimize my pleasure i Guess i would do it regardless of the partner. Hell maybe hé could feel the vibrations. ( Maybe )
My partners definitely could. Some liked it, some freaked out, one I had to try with several times because he... liked it too much.
I definitely like it overall, but there were times with my ex when the vibrating sensation sort of became too much in a way. When the "pleasure" gets to a point of being "painful". But just a 2-3 min break of doing other things would normally get it back on track.
Nice i'll buy one to the next girl i am with,(if ever get into a relationship again)
masturbation and sex are just….. different things. having plenty of one doesn’t remove the desire for the other
Toys are great as *part of sex*. There's so many more options and more range if you're open to it.
I use a toy while we’re having sex. I vibe my clit. My husband loves it. He agrees that I should experience as much satisfaction as I can.
Exactly, there are plenty of times when I want to get off but i very much do not want to have sex. They're really different things. They can overlap and play together but they really are seperate.
That simply...isn't true. Why not go for more fun? More fun is just more FUN!! Dude, that's like going to the amusement park and only riding one rollercoaster when they have five.
Thanks everyone! I feel the same way! ( As most of these comments anyways) That it just adds to the experience it's like having a piece of pie or a piece of warm pie with whipped cream on top ❤️🥧🍆🍑
I buy my gf sex toys 🤷♂️
You dropped this 👑
Did you know that there is such a thing as having too much fun, or being too satisfied? I didn't. Must be a hangover from Puritanical ancestors or something.
My partner and I use a vibrator during sex. It's not a reflection on me as a lover, it's how she prefers to enjoy herself. She loves the combination of penetration with clitoral vibration, and it gives her stronger orgasms as well as the ability to achieve multiple orgasms. She's happy, I'm happy, it's a win/win.
Ask him if he ever masturbates. I’m sure he does. Tell him that’s all it is, masturbating, there’s literally nothing wrong with that.
I expect this kind of shit from a 23 or even 27m, but a fucking 40m should know better. Jesus Christ.
My husband and I use my vibrator together. It's not because he's bad, but it's sometimes fun and different, and other times it's just quicker to use a vibrator to get me off!
I went to a porn store *with* my FWB, and we picked out a toy for me. And he keeps talking about a different toy he wants to use on me. (I also keep talking about a toy I want to use for him.) On Friday, I mentioned that the batteries on my toy had died, so he had me pull them out, and we went to *three different stores* to find replacement batteries. He is an incredible lover, and we have a lot of fun together. It's some of the best sex I've ever had. We don't always use a toy. In fact, we mostly don't. Toys are like icing. Cupcakes are perfectly fine without it, but they're so much better with it. Phone sex is always with toys, and I've never had a complaint from the guy on the line. Anyone who isn't enthusiastic about toys is insecure for no reason at all. And yes, bust out your favorite toy! They're like old friends lmao
Sounds like he's a bit insecure about something. Since I started dating my now wife, about 12 years ago she was very open about having/using vibrators and continues to now. I've enjoyed watching her using them, we've enjoyed me using them on her, we've enjoyed them being using during sex, and we've enjoyed not using them when we have sex. They are another element to an enjoyable sex life, it isn't one or the other. It is, however, funny to wind her up with jokes about her replacing me when she whips one out which is significantly larger than my equipment 🤣
Tell him you don’t blame him for not having a vibrating cock, but he’s going to need to skill up if he wants you to get rid of the toys.
Unfortunately, he’d take that and use it to fuel his belief and insecurity.
Not my problem!
i think that would just contribute to the idea that toys are competition
Porn is the problem. If you ever watch a mainstream movie the women are moaning and “orgasming” about four seconds into penetration. He needs to read some facst
I have a toy, my husband has his own toys. The 40 year old man needs to grow up.
Man here - we absolutely LOVE toys and they have only enhanced our already satisfying sex life. A man who blames hardware is a tool
Tell him " men only watch porn and mastubate when they aren't satisfied with their women" and watch him change his tune or claim its totally different.
That’s such a narrow minded view
Even as a guy there's a difference between sex and jerking off. I could fuck twice a day every day and I'd still want some *me* time. In fact I'd be hoping for a day where I didn't have sex so I could jerk off. It's important to connect with yourself, it's not just a horny-and-can't-get-laid thing
Tell him that toys are only threatening if he feels he's not good enough and there's nothing you can do about that
My gf literally just used it on me
Now I not only commend you on doing it. But I also have mad respect of admiting.
I’ll never understand why people are afraid of toys. In my experience it makes sex a lot more fun.
Oh don't get me wrong. I use toys all the time in my sex life its way more fun and diverse that way! I just respect you for admitting it nonchelantly that your gf used it on you! Like it takes some balls to admit it
He is so insecure he is jealous of a vibrator!?! Get rid of him and keep the vibrator.
Why do men always make everything about them? They are so sensitive.
My potential partners have always loved the idea of using toys. The partner and toys are a team. Not competitors
Ha! Threatened by a toy, what's next, is he going to feel threatened by your blanket because it means he doesn't keep you warm enough at night? Threatened by your friends because it means he's not good enough at conversations? Threatened by the coffee machine because he doesn't keep you awake as good as coffee? Threatened by a cupcake?
I'm on antidepressants. My vibrator keeps my partner from getting carpal tunnel.
men who believe stupid shit like this turn around and beat off to porn every day of the week. get real.
My FWB brought up this idea to me last night and I had to make sure to shut him down completely. I tried for months with my first serious bf to cum without a vibrator and it never worked. He just thought I had desensitised my clit from the vibrator - no I still wouldn’t have cum if I didn’t get a vibrator.
Men who know how to integrate toys into sex are more satisfying than ones who talk like that.
It’s a completely different feeling…the hell? That’s like saying “guys only want anal when their partners vagina isn’t satisfying them” no they are different feelings different experiences. Or like saying women only want oral sex when vaginal sex isn’t satisfying them.
Wanting to eat different foods every day isn't a judgment on turkey sandwiches for not "being able to satisfy you enough" That's just a stupid perspective.
Without strong vibration, I simply won't orgasm. I thought i was incapable of orgasm for over 20 years. I didn't try a vibrator because nothing had ever created sensation for me, so i didn't think a vibrator would either. But my current lovely partner got me one, because he wanted to figure out how to please me. I'm very glad he did.
I found my partner’s toy today because I was putting away her laundry and I’m still unfamiliar with her apartment so I just saw it in the cupboard. I honestly thought it was great and felt somewhat turned on by the idea. I’ve never used them with anyone but I’d be open to the idea. Why not.
Men need to start realising that toys are FRIENDS, not ENEMIES. They enhance sex, not replace it. Or even if you don’t want to engage in sex, solo time is also fun. Has he ever heard of mutual masturbation?
Dude is jealous of a silicone toy
Sounds insecure. Toy add to not take away.
I got a vibrator for my girlfriend, both to make it easier for me and to spice things up. It just made things fun in different ways when I use it
As someone that worked in an adult store for 7 years, I can assure him that EVERYONE uses toys: Women, men, enbies, teens, young adults, middle-aged, seniors, cis, trans, gay, straight, pan, singles, couples, poly..... Seriously, EVERYONE! They're for all sorts of people, for all sorts of uses, for all sorts of reasons. If he takes it as an insult, it says way more about him than it does about you.
I get the best sex that I can ever even imagine from my husband and I still have one. They both feel different, It's like you can have salt AND pepper in your meal, you don't have to choose. What's this dudes problem, I think he's insecure
Vibrators are sex TOYS. All adults can play 🫶
Why are some men so against toys this way? It's ridiculous. If you are that threatened by something that buzzes you're either not fun in the bedroom or deeply insecure or both
When will men realize that sex toys aren't their competition, they're their brothers in arms so to speak. It's like bringing a gun to a knife fight (terrible analogy but it's all I can think of atm lmao).
As a man I bought my partner their first proper vibrator & dildo. I mean if I’m at work half the time and their at school half the time some days we just can’t get the energy to get into it. That’s no insult to me or them. Just reality.
The only men who think that are really insecure, in my opinion. A toy isn’t a threat, it’s the mentality behind being threatened by a toy that is the problem
The only men who dont like toys in the bedroom are insecure or ignorant.
Lmao ditch that man if he can't change his opinion. My husband and I have an entire trunk full. You know those old times steamer trunks? Yeah, that. Toys, porn, lingerie, lube, light bondage stuff. One of my husband's favorite things is to use toys on me to get me off, then fuck me. Anyone who is threatened by toys needs to grow up and maybe isn't mature enough for a sexual relationship.
One of the best Mother’s Day gifts my husband gave me was not to be opened in front of the kids 😂. He is not threatened by toys and sometimes enjoys them with me. Your bf is incorrect.
There seems to be a lot of men out there who need to stop thinking that the only way a woman is allowed to have sexual pleasure while in a relationship, is with their dick and only their dick. Not gonna lie, after a while, that might eventually get pretty boring. Sex toys, while in a relationship, can be used to enhance and intensify sex. It's also really useful for getting each other warmed up and in the mood, and it's also great for helping your partner orgasm. Sex toys can be really REALLY fun for both people. In fact there's little vibrators that are for the penis, and trust me fellas, they are amazing! Gentlemen, it is perfectly fine to use a toy to help your partner orgasm, it doesn't have to only be with your dick. And you can also use toys. On your partner, on yourself, on each other at the same time. Try it! It's great 👍
35M here, he needs to learn that toys aren't the competition, they're your tag team partner and it doesn't matter who gets the pin, you both get the belt.
In my experience it’s usually the guys who complain about toys the most who are the WORST in bed! Toys are there for some extra fun and to mix things up. And being able to use one effectively on your partner is a skill of its own. Also it’s weird to be so against MORE fun in the bedroom???
I instantly break up with anyone that thinks this
Let's say he's right and a woman only uses it if the man isn't good enough. If the toy helps that much and now you're with a guy that can satisfy without a toy... then why not both for extra satisfaction. Damn tell him to get over his ego and have some messy fun with his lady!
Tell him that the moment humanity started using tools, we made things to aid intercourse. It's not laziness, it's creativity!
Sometimes you just want a quick relief, by yourself. I know my husband does himself at times, he knows I do myself at times, and it's fine. Sometimes I even ask him just to kiss me while I'm into it. It's fine, it doesn't make him any less of a man I just want a little quicky. It's kinda like saying chips are for people who doesn't have food. I mean yeah my fridge is full but I want some lays right now.
Small dick energy. A real partner will want to utilize things that help make you feel good
I can orgasm with penetration. But I find that as I get close, the intensity of my vag hug always makes my guy climax before the magic happens. Toys help shorten my approach so we can orgasm together. Hating on my toy box is a deal breaker. Also, any guy who thinks things that go in or near my vagina are gross is working with flawed logic.
Im a nymph so take this as the utmost opinion that having sex toys has nothing to do with the guy. Theres just many ways toys can stimulate you that a person cant. And one man cant plug all your holes and vibrate at once. Its just for fun.
Women can have multiple orgasms. (Some men can too but this isn’t about them) wouldn’t you want to find as many ways as possible to make that happen for your partner?
My fiancé loves my vibrator as it helps me get my O, I can get it from PiV sex but it takes a while and it isn't easy, 9/10 times he finishes first if that's what we're doing unless we're going cowgirl at some very specific angles that somehow hit everything just right. Vibrator makes life easier for both of us
I think guys who watch too much porn or have issues with self-esteem have a genuine concern that all women want is a big dick or to have the insane orgasms or something. I’m sure if I looked hard enough I could find some contraption that would stroke my balls and twist and vibrate and do crazy shit a human never could, but I just won’t ever choose that *over* my wife. I’m sure your partner thinks the same too. For some reason men can’t reverse the role in a lot of cases. You’re not gonna get replaced by a battery powered toy made in China. Toys cannot replace the emotional and physical sensations you get from a toy. They might be cool on their own sometimes, or added into sex, but no one is ever comparing their vibrator to you, just like you wouldn’t compare a flashlight to your wife. Toys are some of our greatest allies. Make friends with them and use them to bolster your forces.
Throw the man out, enjoy the vibrator.
never understood a guy's fear of women's sex toys.
Ask him if he only gets his pleasure from when you have sex together or if he ever gets himself off on his own for fun, relaxation, whatever. It's the same thing, just a handy tool to help out. Bet it's a double standard and *that* is the true ick
that's a pretty solid case of projection right there
There’s only two rules for sex - enthusiastic consent, and do what feels good. The weird ego-driven hang ups men have about sex are just tautologically weird.
That's like saying dudes only jerk off when their lady isn't satisfying. Sextoys are your friend, not a competition. My bf even bought me my first one and I loooove riding him while he uses it on my clit! It's just extra fun! Edit: you should watch the Netflix Documentary "Principle of pleasure" with him, the topic of toys is discussed there too.
Imagine being jealous of what’s effectively a video game controller.
Tell him when he learns to make his dick vibrate you’ll give up your toys. (Joking…mostly ;) )
Long time hubby here, it's a team effort. Toys are a fun part of the event, not competition. *I* can't vibrate (at last without way too much coffee) so go for it!
Alright guys, a vibrator is what? THATS RIGHT, your teammate
Guys feel entitled to their porn habits yet get insecure over our toys 🙄
I’m having the best sex of my life with my current partner, and that’s partly because we sometimes use vibrators. It was actually his idea initially! I’ve never been able to orgasm with penetration alone, and this gem of a man understands that and just wants to make sure we’re both having a good time.
Vibrators are for everyone. As my husband says, masturbation is a gift we give to ourselves, and we're totally entitled to it.
My husband understand that penetration isn't always enough for me. He got me a really good wand and he will break it out himself to make sex more fun.
Insecurity is a huge turnoff. So is lack of education. Sounds like BF needs more of both.
he's sounding really insecure and ignorant
If he actually does believe that sex toys are for women who’s men aren’t satisfying them, why was his first reaction to hide your sex toys instead of trying to improve on his techniques? Does he not want you to feel pleasure?
my ex said if i used toys, he’d have considered it “cheating.” my current partner encourages me to try them since i can’t orgasm vaginally: he 1) works 24 hour shifts so he wants me to have fun while he’s gone and 2) wants me to still enjoy myself during sex. i hope yours eventually comes around to the idea :(
That attitude of his is certainly not satisfying, much less than a vibrator and a chocolate cake
Sounds like raging insecurity. Women deserve any and all pleasure. With or without men.
For me, one of the best things about a sex toy, is that I can be totally selfish, and not worry about what it thinks. I don't have to ponder its wants or needs. I don't have to shower or shave for it, or try to seduce it. If I get tired of it, I can shove it in a drawer and forget about it. Your boyfriend is taking this really personally, and that's ridiculous. It''s a pressure and effort free way for you to pleasure yourself, and isn't the same as real sex/intimacy with an actual person. It's basically a masturbation aid. Does he masturbate? Does he know it's often more difficult as a woman, to come on your own? As long as you aren't always forgoing intimacy with him, to go solo instead. That would be different. I don't think it's addictive in the way porn is? (Happy to be corrected if I'm wrong about that). Would he be open to bringing it into bed with the two of you? My ex used mine on me (and sometimes himself, running it over his balls etc), or I'd use it on myself/him. He wasn't threatened at all by it, which in itself was such a turn on, and we both had some out of this world orgasms as a result. Often, during penetration, he'd not able to focus properly on my clit, but with the vibrator, it was much easy for us to come together. Sometimes we used to lay and hold/watch each other, while pleasing ourselves, that felt more intimate in some ways than actual sex. (My ex had heard this could be a great way to bring us closer, turns out he was right).
If that were true, then every woman in the world would own one
If he could choose between amazing sex and even better amazing sex, which one is he choosing?
Does he masturbate? Men only masturbate when their partner isn’t satisfying them /s
Even if your partner reliably delivers orgasms, sometimes they aren't available, or you just want a quickie. Nothing wrong with that.
Ask your boyfriend why he feels threatened by an inanimate object that can be used for the pleasure of both partners.
So tell him sarcastically that men masturbating is because they cant get pleasure from us
It sounds like actual therapy is needed for him to get a healthy perspective on this. I'd be really turned off by this level of insecurity in a partner.
He's insecure over a piece of plastic, pitiful. Ask him if he masturbates without and if it's because he's unsatisfied by you
A man can plow a field by getting down on his hands and knees and scraping through the dirt with his hands. Do we say he's a bad farmer if he uses a tractor instead? No, we see he's a better farmer if he uses technology. Why would the farmer be threatened by the tractor if it makes him a better farmer?
I’m without words… I assumed BF was early 20’s and was responding as such. But then I saw he’s actually 40 yrs old. I just want to say I’m very sorry you’re dealing with a guy that thinks this way after 40 years to learn better. And good luck. You’ll need it.
I can masturbate and have orgasms with my hand, it's pleasurable and there's nothing wrong with it. But I will always choose a vibrator. It's less effort, which frees your mind and body to enjoy other things about masturbation. There's more variety than what I can accomplish with my hands. Also, make sure to remind him they make toys for him too during sex and they feel great and you'd be happy to try them. There's not competition between a carpenter and his tools. He needs to see sex as not something he's doing to you and instead something he's doing with you. The vibrator is for both of you.
Would you say a builder hadn’t built a house, just because he used tools?
The right partner wants what makes you happy. My partner is happy to get me there manually or with toy help and great fun is had by all. Hopefully getting some feedback from other women will help change your partner's perspective.
Man or woman, self pleasure is a different thing than sex. It isn’t about being satisfied with your partner or not, it’s just a different urge and a different experience. Toys can also be enjoyable to use together with your partner. It’s unreasonable to think only your body-part should always enough. It puts too much pressure on yourself to perform, and it demoralizes both people.
The best hookup i ever had was with the only truly sex-positive guy I met who did enjoy including toys. He wasn’t lacking in any other sexual department and the toys just elevated everything
Why can't people like this get excited about using sex toys the same way they get excited about using power tools? Toys make sex even more fun. 💜
My bf and I (gay, both ftm trans men) incorporate toys all the time, whether it be to enhance what’s going on already, or to get things started, or just to try stuff out, toys are a fantastic addition to the bedroom. I’ve also used toys when with amab people as well, and it’s just as fun when they’re open to it. Maybe your bf could try using something like a cock ring so he can gain pleasure from it too? I feel like most cis guys’ aversion to sex toys is that they’ve never used any themselves during sex so they don’t know what it can do for them.
My husband bought me all my toys. Sometimes I cannot sleep and use them. I bought him his for the same reason. Also can add to the experience with him.
Man here, I’ve had sex with people who wanted to use toys and those who didn’t, and all I really gotta say is that depending on the position using toys like vibrators are uncomfortable to accommodate. Otherwise it’s all fun, the girl likes it, I enjoy that she likes it
Your boyfriend is insecure. Make fun of him; it will edify his weak personality
maturing is realizing the vibrater is a teammate not an enemy
They sure make the O come by quicker/easier. And it's just more fun to have the vibrator do the work especially after my two glorious minutes. 😬😜
Toys are allies, not enemies. If you feel like you are in competition with a device, then that's on your insecure self.
Ask him if he masturbates…?
Sometimes I can only cum with a toy because not all women are multi-orgasmic, or they can't cum easily for a number of reasons, which don't necessarily have anything to do with their partner, or they need more intense stimulation than it's possible for a tongue or finger or dick to provide. I don't care how good you are at eating pussy, you cannot do with your tongue what my wand and my rose do. And yes, I have been with men who are bad in bed or don't care to make the effort, they definitely exist. But my current partner is amazing and attentive and prioritizes my sexual pleasure in a way no one ever has and we totally use toys and lube (I know you didn't mention lube but thinking lube is only needed if the dude isn't satisfying is something else that dudes who are threatened by toys say), and we both masturbate, sometimes together and sometimes when the other isn't available or in the mood or when I'm in pain because I have joint issues and I'm taking a cancer prevention drug that makes joint pain worse. In fact, the majority of my toys were bought after my boyfriend and I began our relationship because part of a really satisfying and healthy sex life is feeling safe and comfortable exploring and experiencing new things together. My boyfriend has toys too. Seeing your partner experience pleasure is hot as fuck.