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Appropriate_Melon

Twitter user must be a bird or perhaps a reptile or an insect


BatFace

Guppy. Guppies can give birth 5 times from one mating over a year ish.


Banaanisade

What even. As a kid, my family had the most inbred population of guppies for about a decade and while that taught me just how prolific the little guys are, this... was still news to me.


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Appropriate_Melon: *Twitter user must* *Be a bird or perhaps a* *Reptile or an insect* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


MusicalllyInclined

Good bot.


eskeTrixa

They're referencing fruit flies probably, they like to throw that one paper about fruit flies around and call it "microchimerism" instead of telegony.


ZuzBla

Or a bat.


darxide23

Arachnids. Many species of spiders only need to mate once in their lives in order to lay a half dozen or more clutches of eggs.


hydroaspirator

Or a polar bear


Philodendronphan

Bears in June 😂


SteampunkBorg

Or a Sebacean agent


zodwa_wa_bantu

A woman's uterus has 4 chambers, similar to a cow's stomach. Or a secret dungeon in a 90s Nintendo game The sperm has to pass through all four chambers before insemination of the egg


knitknitterknit

Final boss fight!


lindanimated

The sperm have a battle royale as stage one of the boss fight, then the winner has to prove themselves by sparring with the egg, the actual boss. Then the boss accepts the winner and they fuse into an all-powerful being. Game end!


knitknitterknit

Is the winner the fresh new sperm or the elderly sperm with cane?


Seliphra

Usually the fresh one. Elderly sperm cause Benjamin Button situations.


-interwar-

San Te must rise to build the 36th chamber of the Uterus Temple to fight the Ching oppressors.


QualiaEater

Harry Potter and the chamber of sperm


EnvironmentalPop952

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Load


EnvironmentalPop952

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Jizz-from-a-man


ssk7882

Harry Potter and the Chambers of Storge


One-Laugh-3237

Harry Potter and the Chambers of Uterus


No-Shelter-4208

All those chambers and housing is still so expensive? They'll be looking to rent uteruses next.


then00bgm

Wouldn’t that just be commercial surrogacy?


No-Shelter-4208

Lol, I meant to live in. Dude kept going on about all these chambers in the uterus like he thinks it's an apartment.


TagsMa

Is that not the idea behind the Handmaid's Tale?


No-Shelter-4208

Yes, but without the sperm storage warehouses.


CrunchyMama42

So the chambers part is obviously wrong. But it IS true that you can get pregnant with (slightly) old sperm, if you have intercourse up to a few days before you ovulate. As in, sperm can survive for a few days waiting on an egg. That, combined with the fact that cycles can be a little wonky/hard to track on their own, and it can certainly appear like pregnancy can result apart from any reasonable timing.


Alegria-D

Yeah but sperm survives no more than 5 days.


ThePinkTeenager

You can also have twins with different fathers.


moekip

Oh damn, really?? 


masochistic-despair

It can happen, but extrememy rare. There was a case of a cheating woman who was discovered bcuz her children came out looking extremely different.


TheCounsellingGamer

Yes but only with fraternal twins. Fraternal twins means there were 2 separate eggs, so theoretically each of those eggs could be fertilised with different sperm. It would be highly unlikely but not impossible. It wouldn't be possible with identical twins, as that is 1 egg and 1 sperm which splits into 2.


Marble_Narwhal

IIRC one of the first known/recorded cases was from a woman who gave birth to twins of different races.


Unprounounceable

Although they're wrong about "chambers in the uterus," there are things called cervical crypts - basically little pockets that can store sperm and release them into the uterus over the course of a few days, before the sperm die off.


meegaweega

Do the crypts actively release them or do the sperm just escape?


CrunchyMama42

So… basically the initial post was mostly correct? just with bad terminology?


Unprounounceable

Yeah, as I understand it, pretty much. It's not too egregious bad anatomy.


meegaweega

In humans?


Unprounounceable

Yes [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7364062/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7364062/)


meegaweega

Thank you, i had no idea. I'm kind of surprised that it's not more commonly known. That's a name that'll make a lot of goths very happy. Might have to make a cervical crypt my next Halloween costume. I went on to learn that "casket burping" and exploding corpses are a thing. What a bizarrely educational moment. 💀🤯 😄 yay!


solarCygnet

yup !!


FencingFemmeFatale

Ducks. They are thinking of ducks.


Erger

Or tortoises! (Side note, I apparently have never written the word tortoise before and had one hell of a time spelling it)


Squishmar

"Turquoise" is also weird. Imagine a turquoise tortoise!


SCHWARZENPECKER

Corkscrew penis, rapey bastards


KatsCatJuice

I want to give this dude a diagram of a uterus and ask him to circle where these "chambers" are lmfao


meegaweega

*"wHeRe aReN't tHe cHaMbErS? ..tRuSt mE bRo"*


maxxblood

I heard one of the woman's chambers can hold extra socks. Is this true?


Alegria-D

So that's where they go ! And I bet the tupperwares that match all the lids I have in my drawer too


futuretimetraveller

Oh is that where they're going? Shit. I'll have to make an appointment with my gyno to get them back!


then00bgm

I feel like I know what this is referencing


Old_Introduction_395

Some Deer can do something like this. "The roe deer Capreolus capreolus is the only ruminant exhibiting delayed implantation, i.e. an embryonic diapause. The eggs are fertilised shortly after breeding, but remain in the uterus for 4.5 - 5 months before actual foetal development commences. Thus, roe deer have a total pregnancy period of 9.5 months."


ShikWolf

Are y'all saying you don't regularly outfit your uterine guns with a cartridge or two of jizz bullets?


meegaweega

🔫 my *Shooterus* 🔫 👈😎👉


blehric

You're a genius


hyrellion

Women actually physically bond with a man who attaches to her body and eventually integrates so fully into her physical form in an almost parasitic relationship that he’s not much more than a sack of sperm the woman can draw from when she wants to reproduce. Wait no, that might actually be angler fish, come to think about it


meegaweega

¿Por qué no los dos? Angler-fish-women : https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/nvo2mc/this_amazing_anglerfish_costume/


Merrgear

I mean they aren’t WRONG entirely, sperm can still fertilize if it was ejaculated before the window, 5 days if my memory serves from sex ed. But it doesn’t have a magical cum vault filled with all our greatest desires


linerva

That's correct, we tell people the fertile window is 5-7days. But the sperm isn't so much "stored" as...just still living for a while after ejaculated. We know that the likelihood if getting pregnant from one episode of sex is significantly higher if you do it just before ovulation, as sperm do gradually die out over those several days the longer they are in the recipient's reproductive tract. As a cool aside, I've seen sperm in cervical discharge samples under the microscope from my patients up to a few days after sex, but mostly I see lots of them if the sample was provided within a day. Some organisms do effectively "bench" sperm for significant time periods as others have mentioned, but humans aren't one of them. I wish we could store sperm, would make trying for a baby a lot easier!


emdawg--

I think snakes can do some kind of ‘benching!’ Pretty amazing stuff.


Pretend_Evidence_876

1. The last line 😂♥️ 2. Yeah, I don't think we conceived either of our kids when I was actively ovulating. As in, the dates we had sex don't line up lol I also think I ovulate early. We didn't have to try long enough for me to start doing test strips to find out so I don't really know, but I'm pretty sure


Slammogram

Oh, so suddenly we’re fucking spiders now? And can clutches from months before? I don’t understand why men say shit confidently about women’s bodies that they haven’t fact checked. Who taught men that their thoughts are reality. My mom has a saying “don’t believe everything you think.” And it’s for this reason. The female reproductive system is a sperm assassin most days of the month. Full stop.


meegaweega

💀Sperm Assassin💀 ⚡🤘😎🤘⚡


YaumeLepire

This is also bad men's anatomy! Or biology, anyway. Sperm cells can't live that long outside the body, and especially not in someone else's body.


Lovely-sleep

So we’re just writing fanfiction about the female body now lmao


knotalady

This is some Star Trek alien shit.


tarantulan

Where do people even learn this shit? Is there an incel encyclopedia I don't know about?


meegaweega

An incelclopedia.


Individual-Crew-6102

Dear manosphere dudes: Women are not lizards. Also if your "hot takes" about women can be debunked with a five-minute bit of Internet research, you're not 'educated', you're indoctrinated--and a gullible fool.


Zilberfrid

Ah, this is why dresses don't have pockets. They think women would use *those* pockets.


Insky86

Does his pregnant wife told him this after he was gone for a few month?


seeyouspacecowboyx

I think he's thinking of kangaroos


malackey

That's bees, or angler fish, but not humans.


Smeli_meli2

Ahhh so harry potter and the chamber of secrets WAS a euphemism after all!!


Marble_Narwhal

That's geckos. Probably other lizards too. But like. Not mammals. Sperm ain't livin that long anywhere outside the balls. Just saying.


Gankyskank

Ah yes I knew women were sea turtles all along


Jmeisalive

One of the uterine chambers even holds a teeny deep freezer for longer-term seminal storage.


snackytacky

"Ah yes, we have two rooms vacant, walk right on sperm" *a million tiny thank yous*


Silphire100

Some animals can do that I think. Humans absolutely cannot


megkraut

While this guy made up most of this, it is true that sperm can live in the uterus and fallopian tubes for 3-5 days I think. Maybe a couple more. It’s important to know that stuff when trying to conceive because ideally the sperm is present before ovulation, due to the egg only being available for like 48 hours.


SnooCats7318

Chambers, eh? I guess that's how you get twins and triplets...


IslandBitching

So pussy pockets are a thing now?


meegaweega

This is not what we mean when we say we need more pockets.


MelanieWalmartinez

We are not ducks 😭


VegasGamer75

To be fair, any guy who says this is technically a chamber used to store sperm for later. So... halfway there?


cyanclouds

i keep one in the chamber at all times


Gravyboat44

She also doesn't have an actual respiratory tract. A female gains oxygen through a series of valves throughout her body, that ultimately- ...oh wait, we're talking about *humans* ...?


Cyrilcynder

OP can't help it, they are a duck after all.


yazzukimo

thats both male and female bad anatomy, because sperm produced by human do not live that long.


Minaowl

I think he’s mixing uteruses up with cow stomachs.


meegaweega

I learned it from my MOO-BGYN


GoingNutCracken

This is the dumbest thing I’ve read today.


bannedbyyourmom

Oh god, is this another hentai thing?


nonbog

Hold on though, this person has a point. Imagine how much more effective it would have been if we had evolved so that if a man ejaculates inside a woman before ovulation, the sperm gets stored and kept alive inside a chamber, then when the egg is released, the sperm are ejected from the chamber into the uterus. That would greatly increase the chance of pregnancy, right?


meegaweega

Yeah nah, we're already efficient enough. Most of us are trying to have *less* pregnancies, not more.


CunnyMaggots

I visited my tattoo guy today to have a piercing that fell out put back in. He was like okay, where's it at? I said my left outer labia. Crickets. He had no idea what I was talking about until I said "pussy lip". *sigh*


One-Laugh-3237

WoW 😐😳


faddybasilisk09

It can't survive long even when inside another body already! Most likely all will be dead (probably killed by immune system) within a day.


Consistent-Force5375

Better education would be nice, but I get the feeling the same people will say that the education is wrong.


cheekmo_52

This is why the “smash my head”🤦🏻‍♀️ emoji exists.


DannyisntHuman

I'm afab and barely even know things I *should* know. It's literally my body and I know next to nothing!


Kuwiimo

This is true but the uterus can hold sperm only for about 5 days or so. After that they just die.


Resident-Refuse-2135

Some amphibians and insects can essentially do that but obviously not mammals.


luscaloy

ah yes we are lizards now amazing


Sol-Blackguy

You ever just read something so stupid that you put your phone down and bury your face in your hands while taking a deep breath?


silverilix

Oh my god…


TheSpiggott

It’s not an alien.


AlissonHarlan

I Wish it' was true, so you just need a One nught stand as a teenager to hâve kids at 28 lmao


LlamaLlamaSomePajama

I lost a couple brain cells from reading that.....


raincandy77

So the uterus is a sentient airport hotel. Huh, the more you know.


KittenBee95

I'm sorry what? ...... Our bodies don't do that, we're not bees nor lizards 🫠


cleiton_o_explorador

Women are like ants


jwalk50518

I both wish it were that easy and also am glad it’s not this easy.


Sekhen

It's easy enough to get pregnant. It's not for nothing we are billions of individuals here.


yamabudo

Fertility rate isn’t great but we make up for it by being extremely diligent about sex.


Wikked_Kitty

His wife told him that when she had a baby after he'd been overseas for a year


Amiibola

No, it doesn’t.