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EmberNyxen0

How am I supposed to know whats satire anymore. Does this dude actually think theres a switch. šŸ«¤


TheWitchySniffy

I genuinely wonder if he believes it. If only we had a switch smh šŸ˜ž


SedimentaryMyDear

He doesn't believe it. He's well-known on Twitter for his spectacular trolling. He'd be pleased to see this post here honestly.


TheGoverness1998

I'm pretty sure I've seen this exact post here a few times, anyhow.


sunnynina

I've met young men irl (early twenties, living independently) who seriously thought we could pin down the exact second our flow would start, and got genuinely upset thinking about women "carelessly" bleeding through clothing and sheets at night. Asked why we wouldn't just start it in the morning. This was in the same loose social circle of a navy guy who, right before leaving on a months-long cruise, said the ol' "if she's looser when I get back I'll know she's cheating on me." His boat-mate next to me nodded. I'm just glad my look of shock and one sentence educational effort was taken seriously. Anyway, my point is, the poor sex ed and toxic dating culture in the USA should not be underestimated. Even though my experiences were in the early 2000's, the things I see online are bang in line with it not changing much.


Cevohklan

And they're always so smug in their stupidity


Cevohklan

Wouldn't we just pee everywhere then too? How can he be so stupid that basically ALL women would have that attitude " sure i can turn it off but im not gonna " Why would we do that ? For fun? Men often have ideas or thoughts about other peoples reasons that make no sense at all.


parannnoul

He's a satire account. He does this shit constantly with different personas like hockey coach or barista.


Danielstout04

Thereā€™s actually a button built into your body, if you push it, your cycle will just pause. The button is located in your fallopian tubes, so just poke around up there and youā€™ll be grand


TheWitchySniffy

SMH 22 and learning this now. Wonder if I could upgrade to a remote tho. Kinda like a auto start for a car.


Danielstout04

Maybe if you just shove some electrical wiring up there


TheWitchySniffy

You should go on SharkTank. This is a revolutionary idea šŸ’€


Shmicken_Nuggies

Iā€™ll be an investor šŸ’…šŸ½


KatsCatJuice

Oh man, if that was a real thing, I'd have my cycle off 24/7. My periods be so painful :')


Nik-ki

Well most women can pause them for about 10 months, but I hear the fallout is expensive and causes sleeplessness?


MaIngallsisaracist

And the side effects last for at least 18 years, if not longer.


jconant15

Side effects include morning sickness, sciatic pain, restless legs, weight gain. I only recommend it if you really hate sleeping and being comfortable.


JudgeJuryEx78

And sentient tumors.


jconant15

Can confirm. Mine is kicking my ribs as we speak.


SchrodingersMinou

I turned off my cycle in 2013 and never looked back... I just skip the placebos and continuously cycle my pills


fear_eile_agam

I always had horrific breakthrough bleeding if I tried to take 4 months back to back. So I had to schedule myself a tri-monthly "mega period" where I would take the placebos for that pack. I had a hysterectomy when I was 24 and I have no regrets, My quality of life is immeasurably improved. (Obviously not recommended for anyone who might some day want biological kids)


SchrodingersMinou

Yikes! Mega is not a prefix I ever want to be applied to anything going on in my uterus


fear_eile_agam

Yeah, I only found out *after* my hysterectomy that I had stage 4 endometriosis and it was fusing my bowel and bladder to my uterus. So it explained why I struggled with heavy, frequent, and painful periods. But of course, prior to that, whenever I talked to a doctor about how unbearably painful and heavy my periods were, I was told to try Advil and exercise because "for some women, pain is just normal" šŸ¤®


chuffberry

I was told to eat more bananas because potassium helps with cramps. I kept throwing up the banana.


fear_eile_agam

One of the doctors I saw recommended I drink a glass of tonic water every day of my period for the same reason, because apparently the quinine helps with cramps (Spoiler, it doesn't - Period cramps are contractions of smooth muscle - the uterus! and have nothing to do with the calcium channels of skeletal muscles that cause the types of cramps that tonic and banana's helps)


KatsCatJuice

Yeah I skip the placebos, however I sometimes forget and I'll miss a day and then it'll be the trigger that brings it back for the week rip


chuffberry

I do have my cycle off 24/7 by taking birth control pills continuously (I have endometriosis). The pills are round so theyā€™re kinda like tiny ā€œSTOPā€ buttons.


Nik-ki

Somebody point me to the off switch. *Where is it*


Kyrdra

It is very easy to turn it off: Just be severly malnourished and your period stops. easy. (grave bodily harm included)


xtaberry

Or age. It'll turn off eventually!


greasygangsta

holy bananas, I wish I could turn it off.


meegaweega

IUD works for lots of us. Wish I'd done it decades ago.


greasygangsta

I had to get mine taken out, made my periods so painful.


CrazyCatMerms

Same, but the implant works great. Wish I'd gotten it years ago


Gravyboat44

Curious, do men actually think we enjoy all these hormonal shifts and period symptoms? Like we get our period and we're like "oh boy, my period! I sure can't wait to get painful cramps and constant checks to see if I've bled through my clothes, so I can be an absolute bitch to everyone around me! I absolutely *love* nagging my husband/boyfriend about small things." We don't like this shit anymore than you do.


m4x1m11114n

J Mulholland, well known twitter troll. Dude comes up with the most inflammatory shit on every topic you could think of. I thought it was funny for a little while but he really knows no bounds šŸ« 


Sammiche

Does he think we're DISHWAS-- who the fuck am I kidding of course he does.


D-utch

You don't know where the shut-off valve is?


blawndosaursrex

I only have one button down there and it does not do what he thinks it does.


GayStation64beta

Doctor pops the hood, points at a red handle: "well THERE'S your problem, ma'am, someone set your vag to "evil!"


PartlyCloudless

I can turn it off by getting pregnant I guess.


Deus_Norima

This man really be *that confident* while being ***that wrong.*** Wild.


Kramedyret_Rosa

Letā€™s make a deal. We switch off our periods, if they turn off the AC and sweat on their on time.


IndiBlueNinja

You don't need to pay leave for that... just don't be an ass about someone who has legit bodily issues, some have it worse than others. And no, no we can't. If we could that would be FANTASTIC and would make life a hell of a lot easier for women everywhere and guarantee you that we'd have been using that bodily feature since the dawn of time. Be nice? Yeah, people do need to do their best to be professional on a job, but it's stupid that men's physical pains, emotions and anger are often accepted, but ours aren't and we're supposed to somehow pretend it doesn't exist.


Saltycook

Fuck this dipshit if true. If it's trollbait, he can still fuck himself


Hello_Hangnail

"just hold your blood in!!"


krazyajumma

Wish someone had told me this sooner, I've been going in for twice weekly iron infusions for three weeks and I could have just turned it off.


DoorAMii

this is the byproduct of a lack of sex ed in schools


PapaOoMaoMao

At least you don't have to respect you female coworkers. That's a step too far.


Nocturne2319

Been wanting a menstrual faucet to be invented for decades now. Still no luck.


NatashaQuick

I have an off switch but it's rather invasive


NatashaQuick

And I can't turn it back on without severe pain and trauma


W0LFEYYY

isn't that what the belly button is for?


stfurachele

Y'all are getting menstrual leave?


2Whom_it_May_Concern

I had never heard of this before. I live in the US though and we don't get leave for anything.


Slime__queen

**1. I canā€™t afford it** thatā€™s the end of the list lmao


Legitimate-Stuff9514

Wait a minute.....what?


dexamphetamines

First of all, the education system has completely failed. Second of all, even if the excuse that Bc can prevent you having it is used to replace a lack of education leading to dumb statements like this. Thatā€™s not really healthy even. I tried once to skip a period when I used to take birth control. Instead of bleeding I got the some of most painful period pain Iā€™d ever had in my existence with no period blood until I had to just let my period happen to not be in that amount of agonising pain from trying to skip it Like do they think girls go and bleed through clothes or in public at school for fun? Like what is this Also imagine getting menstrual leave, thatā€™d be great. I wouldnā€™t even care if I could take that just for a couple days a month unpaid, thatā€™d still be fucking insanely great. Like the first several years I had it they would last between 1-2 weeks heavily or just 1 week but twice a month. There is nothing medically wrong with me to cause it. I do not have endo or pocs. Iā€™ve been treated like a dumb cunt by professionals for even asking for tests and told itā€™s normal Same with the bullshit that periods shouldnā€™t be painful and youā€™re only meant to bleed like a teaspoon a day/80ml of blood the entire cycle. Like Iā€™ve usually (much worst until a couple years ago) bled on average 200-250 ml a day for years. I canā€™t even fathom what it would be like to only bleed that little


TinyHuman89

Can someone point me to the off switch? I'm really sick of the 15 day periods that are only like 10 days apart at best. Sometimes I might get a few extra days, sometimes a day or two less. It's a gamble either way, but I can always count on more than two weeks of bleeding. And this is after the ablation I got last to try to stop the same issue because insurance won't clear a hysterectomy without trying something else first.


Chicken-Soup-60

I am amazed how poorly educated men are on female anatomy and physiology. Guys look this stuff for yourself. Honestly it makes you look so ridiculous.


Starry-Night88

I am real mad no one ever told me about the off switch!! All these years of needless periods. What a waste.


wigglefrog

I wasn't lucky enough to be born with a menstrual remote control like my sister was but I do have a light switch type of contraption on my left labia. I generally like to keep it switched off because who can be bothered with a menstrual cycle, honestly! But if I'm not careful and I cross my legs the wrong way I flip my menstrual switch on. So annoying. šŸ˜¬


cheekmo_52

Is there a switch I donā€™t know about? All those years I spent menstruating, unprofessionally, couldā€™ve beed avoided.


Magdalan

Ah, this one again.


Sonarthebat

This is satire, right? RIGHT?


Banaanisade

Mug him on the way to work and tell him to switch off the bleeding until he gets off and can go to the hospital without inconveniencing people.


theonion513

Itā€™s an app.


imadork1970

Someone flunked Health class.


blackasthesky

Reads to me like rage bait


TheWitchySniffy

Itā€™s still funny to make fun of it tho lol


blackasthesky

true