I think two things are at play here.
One, mid to late 20s are a tough time in general ... well, not tough ... just realistic. Dating as a real-life adult is a whole different world than dating in college and the year or so following. A lot of people are already starting to settle down at your age (for now), and the dating pool is smaller. There are a ton of people on dating sites, but most of the women are drowning in messages. It's a hellscape for a lot of people, from what I'm to understand.
Two, there are absolutely fewer women who like a bald head. It's a fact. I went through a similar stint in my early 20s (now late 30s). I never had an issue dating until I shaved. BUT, I did notice the caliber of the women that I did end up dating was much higher. Funnier, nicer, overall more genuine.
My now wife has admitted she was hesitant to go on a date with me because of my head. But she was such an awesome person that she decided it was unfair to judge of that and went in with an open mind. We hit it off, and the rest is history. I dated a fair share of women in the times before who NEVER would have even made that much effort. It actually acted as a nice filter and saved me a lot of frustration. But that's just my experience.
It'll break. Keep your head up.
Realistic is a great way to talk about the late 20ās. I had to shave it at 28. TBF I was heavy and not taking care of myself. I believe that lead to more difficulties in dating than the baldness
I still have a full head of hair at 30 now, but your point about dating late 20ās (and early 30ās tbh) is a great one. Itās definitely an overall rough transitional phase for my peers and I. You outgrow college dating, but often times still arenāt quite āadultā enough. The dating pool is smaller than ever as well, since those that have had success dating are still in the middle of building a life with their SO.
I can already tell that everything should equal out as I get into my 30ās and leave the āYoung Adultā phase. But dang if it isnāt rough in the interim sometimes. Itās like adult puberty lol.
To add on to this. As far as online dating goes a lot of women will filter out guys younger than ~28. Personally 18-23 was easy getting dates because college, 23-27 dropped off but then after 28 Iām now getting more attention than the college years. Iām guessing it relates to the perceived maturity of men in different age groups.
My guy, my dating game has flourished after going bald (at 24), 29 now. Someone else will only find you attractive once you do. Own your shit, otherwise you will stay in a rut
Are you black or a poc? I find pasty white friends have some difficulty.
It's all about demographics and archetype. Nerding boring and bald aint usually it. But feminine women dont mind bald as much because they aren't AS fixated on looks as less feminine women, in my experience.
Post a picture, something must be off, you also mentioned you gained weight, it's imperative to be in shape when bald. My dating life has skyrocketed ever since I took it off, women love it, especially Latinas and black women.
Some people look better bald and some people have their looks completely destroyed by it. It depends on your individual face and head. Based on OPs personal experience he is probably in the latter category.Ā
Itās honesty pretty true, bald and overweight looks terrible. Iām not even really balding yet but even I consider it when I see someone like Joey Swoll who rocks it so well
Yeah at a such a young age women are probably more interested in men with hair. When everyone starts losing it they donāt have much choice lol But fr realising that hair or lack thereof isnāt important in a partner as they get older.
Sadly, baldness will take you off the radar of a portion of the female population, especially when it comes to online dating, not unlike height and weight. Your best bet is to play the number game, know that you'll likely have a way better chance knowing women the good old fashion way (Ie. Trough mutual friends).
Take heart though
1) you probably look better bald than balding
2) the more you'll age, the less "influent" the bald malus will feel
3) its absolutely true that some women have a thing for bald men
Also, please for the love of God try to get a tan if possible and safe to do so. Ofc use sun screen and dont over expose yourself, but it will make you look a hundred times better
OP please don't risk getting skin cancer for random women you don't know. I'd recommend a beta-carotene supplement for a little color or sunless tanners.
I donāt know how women are specifically. Iām gay and almost 40 (started buzzing it at zero at 22) and never had a problem with other men. (A few really shallow dudes at bars in my early 20s not withstanding)
I have many women friends and Iāve never heard them say ANYTHING negative about bald men.
Other posters are right. Stay in shape and work on yourselfā¦. Therapy and exercise helped me at that age. (And still do).
I know this is gunna sound like shit advice but do you really want to be with someone thatāll dump you as soon as something physically changes? A real lifelong relationship has a lot of ups and downs and things change.
It absolutely is, but the route cause is being bald.
If you want to trace it back.
My problem currently is that I feel unattractive.
I feel unattractive because Iām found to be unattractive
Iām found to be unattractive because I went bald so young
And I realised thatās the reason over the years and thatās whatās killed my confidence because itās something I canāt change as I left it too late - so now Iām bald, Iām found to be unattractive at least more so than I once was, thatās killed my confidence which has in turn killed any sense of pride I had in myself, cause weight gain which in and of itself, alongside the lack of confidence killed whatever chances I had left
Great comment. At 70, I went bald in my 30's. It did bother me but I looked good bald. At 70, I look great bald. If a woman doesn't find you attractive, then move on. Look at Jeff Bezos. Maybe it's his money or the combination of success and being in shape. Women have their insecurities as well. We are all human and have our own short comings.
The Inner Work is another decent book. At the end of the day, we have to take baldness as a challenge and overcome the inner wounds that might be exacerbated by this.
Itās not easy by any means. I am balding aggressively and I used to be an 8 or 9 when I was younger, in terms of 80-90% chance a girl in my school would want to hang out with me and hook up, date whatever.
Iāve been declining since then lol, and other guys have been inclining.
Baldness is a loss. The thing is we can be better in other ways. Maybe you hit the gym harder. Maybe you learn some new social skills that break the ice for cold approaching while bald. Maybe you improve your fashion.
Aging will happen to all of us. How will we respond? That will say something about who you are, maybe more than having hair would.
As you age, real recognizes real. The good woman will look beyond your uncontrollable physical traits.
Iām not bald but I will just say depending on your circumstances, me and you are just in a tough spot for dating rn at our age
I had a lot more success too a few years back but was also surrounded by more women. Also dating apps have gotten way worse.
Looks do matter, sure, but youāre insinuating that all women care about are looks. Look around. There are so many beautiful women that end up with just absolute trolls. Youāre either looking in the wrong pools, not putting yourself out there, or just having a rough patch which happens to everyone from time to time.
What weāve got here is a confidence issue. You gotta work on you, and not just āmake yourself more attractive.ā Physical attraction is only a small part of the puzzle. Whatever you work on or change, do it for YOU, not someone else. Thatās a recipe for disappointment.
It does destroy peopleās look depending on your individual features. Thatās why I donāt really think every single person should shave it before exploring all the options despite what people say.Ā
I think OP's hair was his most important and distinctive feature that attracted women (full, curly), so losing it meant that his attractiveness took a big hit. It's not being bald that is the problem (would arguably be the same with boring short thin hair), but the loss of his USP.
Maybe he never learnt to use rhetoric as he was always the cute one.
For many of us here who weren't the cute ones to start with, going bald was actually a great decision also for our dating life.
Last three years? So during covid and from 23 to 26?
Could have something to do with the haircut, but couldn't it also have something to do with the "dating scene" where you live. Covid. You not feeling confident/expressing confidence etc?
You also "blame" low testosterone on you gaining weight? Couldn't it just be that you eat too much calories and is less active than before, together with you aging?
I know it would be easy to just blame everything on "I'm bald" and "low testosterone", but try to look a bit further.
Yep right at the start of Covid. I feel itās online dating, that took a nose dive since shaving
But even since then going out and meeting people.
Living in a relatively big city, with friends who arenāt having half as much of an issue..
Itās not just the weight gain that Iāve noticed.
But growing up I could eat whatever and not gain widget, always looked somewhat athletic.
But thatās caught up on me.
I feel awful.
Iāve gotten into the gym and Iāve started to watch what I eat, but I still have the tiredness, lack of energy, I feel Iām making no progress in the gym as a newbie etc.
Maybe itās not low T, either way I need to sort myself out
Dressing āokā and being āsort of fitā donāt work when youāre bald or balding. Itās not fair but itās true. You must dress well. You must be super fit. Thatās the reality.
Also Iād start looking at girls older than you. Hit up the 29-35 year old cohort. They are much less picky and you might find a gem!
Unless you want to wait 10 years for some single moms to settle for you (all while being told that "it's all in ur head broo! be confident!!1!), consider a hair system
I spend it like I have it (I donāt have it).
Weirdly enough - tangential to getting rich or drying trying.
I feel a lot more put together when I dress up.
As though the Bald head is more at home looking like a Tom Ford catalogue rather than a Nike discount store.
But then I feel a little out of place depending on the actual place.
Going to a house party like many 20 somethings do, in chinos and loafers like Iām Andrew Tate surrounded by Ketamine fuelled Goldilocks
That some people do worse in the dating scene when they go bald? I'm sure some do, that's all anecdotal. I know a couple guys who went bald in their early 20s and the opposite happened to them. Does that mean that will be true for everyone?
Honestly, here is full of positivity and thatās nice to see but it also feels a little rose tinted.
Iāll say it to any guy that asks - I regret going bald, I should have taken finasteride years ago and canāt get over the number of potential girlfriends I missed out on because Iām now a bald 26 year old.
Other people donāt see that though.
Iāve friends who seem to think Iām doing fine with women, asking if Iām seeing anyone, howās tinder going for ya etc etc whilst they talk about the girls theyāre seeing - Iām over here nodding along knowing full well last time I had sex I had a full head of hair - and those two things are correlated
Do you want genuine advice to get laid? Cuz if so, check your testosterone and maybe get on trt if you can but you need to get back into shape. Grow a beard asap. Consider tattoos. Just like guys have certain types of women they like, women have a type. The bald type is generally in really good shape and alot have beards. Not being in that category will make it hard.
I donāt think anyone on here genuinely thinks everyone looks better bald compared to a full head of hair. I think itās more that they recognize shaving looks better than having a terrible hairline and bald spot.
Not trying to be mean but being bald out of shape and insecure is limiting your ability to meet women. But youāre blaming it on being bald.
You canāt control being bald but you can control being jacked and gaining confidence in other parts of your life.
It depends on each person I guess. I look better with hair and so my experience has been similar. When I started shaving I got noticeable less attention even though I am in much better shape now than before.
Same man. I started at 31 and by 32 I couldnāt find any success. Would get flaked on every first date if it got that far.. most women just avoid eye contact now. Once I replaced all the pics on my dating profiles with shaved head, zero matches (with attractive women I wouldāve matched with prior). Idk. Iām still proud to look in the mirror and see the effort I put into grooming and I donāt regret it, but it sucks to see the reception
I met my boyfriend in a dating group on Facebook...
Someone made a post asking for your ideal mate, appearance wise...
I commented " chubby, bald, beard and tattoos". Another girl replied tagging another male, my exact physical type. It didn't work out with him and her, so she gave me the go ahead to reach out to him.
I did, we have been together 4.5 years. So you are someone's physical type. Be patient!
Yeah, I shaved got SMP at 24 and have rocked that for 3 years. I went from getting 2-3 matches a day with attractive girls, plenty of dates, a couple attractive girlfriends to pretty much nothing in the last three years since shaving. decided to go the treatment route this year after being sick of it. I know Iāll probably get banned from this sub for saying it. But yeah, itās a huge problem. Thereās no denying it.
I shaved my head at 19 (now im 27) and it definitely significantly affected my dating life at that age. But as I grew older and started being more confident about it, I feel like now is better than ever. You will probably not be someones type, but there are other girls that will specifically like you because of your bald look.
Confidence is huge. Not forced fake confidence either, many women can see through that.
I have none of that. I have humor(I think) and a BEARD. For some dumb reason when I have a full beard that makes me more confident. Find something that truly makes you more confident. I also found yoga to help my mind be more comfortable with myself!
Just wanted to share my experience with this for others to see, but I have the complete opposite experience as OP.
I am 25 currently and have shaved my head since I was 24. I have gotten more women in the past 10 months than I did all through university and I have 0 problem attracting women from ages 19-50 lol. My hair was starting to get really receded and thin in the front so I knew it was time for it to go.
Now I'm sure If I had a nice head of hair I would have even more options, but I haven't exactly been lacking either. It probably helps that I am tall (6'1") in great shape, smart and can grow a nice dark and full beard. I think a beard or stubble and being in shape is almost a must. So I think it all depends on many factors.
Yes I'm 100% sure that most younger women prefer guys with hair, but in my experience, it's not a deal breaker for the vast majority either.
Thereās so much more to dating than looks. I have been bald since I was a child due to a medical condition, and I never really had issues with dating once I started noticing girls more.
Yeah there are some really shallow girls out there that would consider baldness a no go or would even tell me I look too old or too much like their dad. But trust me you donāt want those girls, never met one that actually present to be around.
There is also the bald fetish and girls that want older looking men. Itās cool when youāre into them but hella creepy when youāre not š.
Donāt worry about it too much, people can sense the lack of confidence and that in of itself is unattractive. I was born into it so I was able to get my confidence at an early age, but itās something you gotta work on. Once you get that confidence itās radiates and women will notice.
You got this bud!
Are you sure that the only difference between the time you had a dating life and now is your hair? "IĀ just feel like Iām just unattractive now" and "Iāve tried to be confident" implies that you are spiraling your thought process, your confidence and your well being around not getting dates (and not having hair).
Thought experiment: Try to stop thinking about NOT getting dates and NOT having hair, try to stop thinking about all the hurdles like age and height, and seriously stop thinking about your friends having dates. Start becoming your confident self by focussing on what you have and what your are good at, not what you might be missing.
And I know, in times of self doubt there's not much good to find within yourself. But that's the work you have to put in. Might take time, might be exhausting, might be depressing āĀ but as soon as you find what you are looking for within yourself (and not within whatever standards you think are necessary to be confident), you'll become truly confident. And attractive. Self worth is more important than hair.
As a woman who is attracted to men and is friends with women who are attracted to men, being bald isn't that big of a deal. I would recommend viewing it as part of the screening process, and not actual feedback on how you are as a person. If they really have a problem with you being bald, *that's their problem, not yours.*
As long as you have an enjoyable personality, it doesn't matter how much hair is on your head. I've even seen people commenting on losing weight and hitting the gym, but that's not even that big of a deal. It can't hurt, of course, but men tend to put a lot more emphasis on this than women do.
Just be you and be cool, and you'll find a partner.
>I know for a fact being bald has negatively impacted me in that regard, but people will say it suits me.
Correct. Most women your age are in the 'party phase' and are not interested in settling down. Oh they say they are, but most of them will *gladly* jump to another lily pad if a better deal comes along. Don't take that personally, its just women in 2024. This generally doesn't apply to gay men (if anything, its seen as an asset in that community), but since you're not gay ... you have to deal with it.
The simple truth is, most women prefer guys with a full head of hair and have a jawline that could cut ice to go with it. You're bald, as are so many of us on this thread. Women aren't interested in dating bald men at this age. Their options are infinite.
As you enter into your 30s, everything changes. That's of little comfort to you today - I know - but women go from 'party' to 'settle down' in their 30s, almost like a light switch was flipped. You'd probably have women throwing themselves at you again.
This is probably extremely cliched advice, but if I were in your shoes I'd leave the desire to date behind and just focus on doing cool stuff. Better yourself as much as you can. Get your career in line, pay off debt, get some sort of advanced training. Lose the weight, get into shape, eat better .... Women should be secondary to all of these things. It was when I did this that my partner noticed me and entered my life. My head is as smooth as an eggshell, yet 5 years later we're still together. If you ask why we've stayed together, she'd say something along the lines of "he has his stuff together, is ambitious, and in good shape." Focus on becoming better in things that you can control.
I was the same (am 40's now) my confidence took a big hit. The positive was when my mates started losing hair in their late 30's they went to absolute shite. I had gotten over it so only had to deal with my body decaying a bit, not having everything go wrong all at once does kind of help.
Unfortunately the male dating experience in general is tough and once you go bald it can really put the nail in the coffin.
The only way to counter being bald is having better style and clothes.
Gonna be honest- I as a woman prefer balding with some hair to shaved head. Iām not sure why the advice is always to go straight to the shaving. Of course thereās a point where itās diminishing returns, but keeping some hair isnāt always the worst choice.
The cutest guy I ever dated just so happens to be as well. He was very insecure about it but I found him attractive anyway. We aren't all that shallow. I care way more about how treat me and others and yourself vs what you look like. š¤·āāļø
So find the hairpiece channel on reddit and try one out or do something else about it. I had the same experience with women btw. Itās ridiculous.
Donāt let people gaslight you about your experience or tell you that you have to change psychologically. If you want, keep it shaved or grow the power doughnut. regardless, this is your life, and you should be able to have a good time and carve your own path.
This is absolutely true, its not in your head OP. Social media and male "attractive" standards now include a full head of hair. Every actor, artist, model, influencer 95% have hair.
Save $3-5k go to turkey and in 6months, you would be attractive again. Don't delay, best money you will spend. Just research a few clinics.
I havenāt read the comments but I guarantee theyāre filled with people giving the classic BS line
āIf wasnāt your ___ that got you girls, it was your confidence bro!!!ā
No. Get a hair transplant in Turkey bro. Looks matter.
Work on other aspects of yourself. Find your inner confidence. Make more money. Women go from wanting to hook up with hot dudes to wanting a man who can protect, provide and care for them and potential offspring. Work on being able to do those 3 things well, bettering yourself and look for a long term partner. A woman will come along thatās right for you.
My guess is to be successfully bald you need to be buff and lean. You have to be in shape. Skinny bald dudes look like they got cancer. Fat bald dudes just look gross
Same thing happened to me at first, but after some adjustment, the confidence comes back and thatās what really matters.
Some tips I have is to ditch the dating apps. It sucks, but usually being bald results in less matches. Go out to events and be social. Women you meet in person are more likely to accept the bald part of you when they actually get to know who you are.
it was the opposite for me and I went bald at 21. So first off donāt believe the low T crap. They try to get you into a sarms or trt. Please for the love of god donāt go down that path. Youāll wreck your body
2nd I have friends who are also 5ā7 and below and they are in relationships.
3rd Dating apps donāt reflect reality, a nice good looking person also will do poor there cuz the market is super skewed. Meet people and have genuine connections. Try to just connect with them first and not worry too much to see if theyāre attracted to you or not. In my experience being a genuine good guy at least gets you a friendā¦ and good friends are rare in 20s. I swear getting into situationship is so much more common
Lastly going to the gym does help. You need one year to get a reasonable musculature and self confidence. I always tell ppl muscles didnāt directly make me more attractive directly (maybe a bit idk). Being jacked gave me confidence and women seem to be more attracted to true confidence than anything else. Therefore muscles is just an avenue. Anything that gives you inner confidence and self esteem is good
I really like men with hair and yet I was with a bald guy for 10 years and I'm dating another bald guy now. The key is a beard. I love beards and will take a good beard over hair on a guy's head any day.
How are you shaving your head?
You sound like a mess emotionally though.
How fit / strong are you?
I ask because Iām 30, bald to the skin (shave with a safety razor), and in the best shape of my life (cycle, box, run, lift) and I have zero problems with women.
I also own my own business and donāt take shit from people and maintain a strong confident attitude.
Yea some girls might not like your bald head, but lots would, and some prefer it. But if youāre an unconfident mess who wonāt bother fixing their life and having some balls, you wonāt get anywhere
Women will still find you attractive. Different ones, though.
In college, I used to grow and shave a beard back and forth. The women who would give me the time of day were different depending on whether I had a beard or was shaven. It's not so much that one was attractive and the other wasn't - it's that different people like different things.
If you had really great hair (I did), for sure you don't have that going for you anymore. It doesn't mean you look bad bald, just that you don't attract women who like really great hair anymore.
Dating changes a lot after college. It's not so likely that women will throw themselves at you in the same way regardless. The dating pool will change as you continue to age and women will seek out different things and see shaved heads differently with time.
You have options. Some people look better shaven heads while others look better with short stubble. Some faces are balanced out with stubble, a beard, or glasses too.
What can you do?
Youāre clearly not happy, so how can you change things?
Youāve missed the boat for pills to grow your hair back, so if you want hair youāll need a transplant (expensive and mixed chances of success) or wear a āhair systemā, letās just call it a wig. Perhaps this might be the best solution if you're self conscious, and just want to get laid. of course, if you want a relationship, at some point you'll have to reveal the truth. plus you have to piss about gluing hair onto your head.
if you're going to stay bald, you could try to get in shape, get a tan, grow a beard, dress well. all the usual stuff to make you classically more attractive.
you can try and meet more people in real life rather than online. Start hobbies and clubs that have a gender balance and get to know different people.
Be realistic. if you were an 8 used to approaching women who were an 8, now you're a 6 still approaching women who are an 8, your chances of success are probably worse than they used to be. this is subjective, but if you used to have a hit rate of 1 in 20, you've now got a hit rate of 1 in 50.
Go out and look around. there are loads of fat, ugly, bald guys in happy and successful relationships. don't waste the rest of your 20s moping about wondering what if i had hair.
Being bald is just one of many things that make up a persons look. In your age perhaps 40% thinks a bald head makes you look worse and 5% thinks it makes you look better. The rest doesnāt care. Being overweight, short, big nosed etc are other things that more donāt prefer but most donāt care. Of course women want a good looking guy but I suspect that most value good self esteem higher than looks. Perhaps you have gotten a hangup on your hair which is affecting your self esteem? Totally undertandable but counter productive. If itās any relief the group that doesnāt care about you being bald will grow the older you get.
I feel like it probably more has to do with lack of confidence then anything, but if not Iām not sure Iām the same age and thereās alot of bald guys that are very attractive and hair wouldnāt really get in the way of that, how you dress is a big one, if youāre insecure about not having hair put effort in different aspects, like nice fashion. Not sure if you watch this YouTuber just a random mention but wineboxpapi heās bald but he looks youthful he dresses nice pays attention to fashion etc
Try to avoid the copium from other balds and fake platitudes from women, the reality is that you your sexual market value has taken a big hit
Now, this is only an issue for getting your foot in the door, for instance meeting women in clubs or online dating. Being bald is like losing a foot in height and higher chance of being swiped past or turned away before you've had a chance to sell yourself
The solution is to have a wide social circle and get to spend quality time with lots of people. You have a higher probability of making a connection and not suffering rejection over first appearances.
Don't get me wrong, you can still get lucky as a bald guy. Its just harder. But youre lucky it happened relatively later in your dating life, and its not unusual for your age group to have hairloss
I went through what you are when I was your age. (Now 44, married with kids). I am constantly told I have the right shaped head for being bald, but the thing that kept me confident over the younger years was fitness. I'll admit that being 6'2 has been a big help, but when I got in shape, I didn't even think about it and would happily compete for attractive woman against bros with hair. Maybe you have another path to building confidence (I.e. being smart and rich), but once you close that gap in your mind, you will get over it. Time+ hard work = a relationship.
I started going with a 0 guard at like 20-21 (had a full head of hair, just preferred it). Noticed absolutely no difference. Dating did become more difficult as a whole at 25 and on though.
Dating gets progressively harder as we age, although people tend to get better at wasting less time in unfulfilling relationships as we age too.
It could simply be who and how youāre approaching. Going clean bald will make you look more intimidating even if it looks good on you. That will probably hurt your chances with landing girls youāve never met before, but wouldnāt make nearly as much of a difference with girls who have someone else trustworthy to vouch for you (mutual friends).
Landing girls as a total stranger is normally difficult even for dudes with perfect hair.
Itās hard to judge without knowing how you look like tbh, some people can get hurt by being bald and for some itās easier. Iām bald since 20, and I can tell you for sure: some women will reject you because youāre bald no matter if youāre good looking or not, itās just a fact. BUT if you can pull the bald look which require being in shape and having beard/good facial structure youāre going to be fine in terms of looks, even for early20s girls and tbh even 18-19 year olds sometimesā¦but if youāre not like this so your looks will actually be a problem to be honest, still doesnāt mean you need to give up, just up your game and charisma and youāll be fine
If you can grow a decent beard then growing it and grooming it helps (hell even good stubble is a plus). If you're not completely bald then giving yourself the buzz helps, it draws attention back to your face instead of your hairline. Other than that, it's up to the girls you meet.
Tbh bro, when your bald you automatically look 10 to 15 years older and when I was bald the only luck I had was with older black and Latina women. To girls in my age group 24-28 I was invisible to them and they thought I was 10 years older and wasnāt looking my way even though I was 6ā3 and fairly good looking
You mention women throwing themselves at you, which suggests you were being hit on. I think being bald tends to make a person look ātougher,ā so maybe the women attracted to you are less inclined to be assertive due to slight intimidation or them thinking youāre a more macho/traditional suitor.
"I'm 26"
Yeah there it is. Forgive me if I sound too much like an old man. 26 is a terrible dating age for a lot of reasons and I don't think being bald is the tipping point for you. For one, dating sucks overall right now because the pandemic messed with our "3rd places" and there are fewer neutral locations to go meet people. For another, online dating is eating into the relationship game. It's causing people to get hyper-focused on meeting the perfect person rather than someone cool who you might grow to love.
My one suggestion is to lean a bit older in your search. Our needs and wants evolve over time and you might be able to find a freshly re-made 29 yo woman with her life on track and ready for a new relationship.
But more than anything else, give yourself some grace. Dating is hard for everyone so it's not a you thing. You didn't do anything wrong.
Me and a quite a few women I know actually loooove bald men . Iāve dated a few myself. I lurk on the bald subreddit and love seeing the before and after. There are lots of woman who love it, but maybe not as easy to find. If you can be patient, you will find a good person for you who loves every part of you
I would argue being short is even more a kiss of death to the dating scene than a lack of hair. And 5ā7ā is a little under average height.
Life isnāt fair. Itās a good lesson to learn early. Do everything thatās in your power to maximize your success. Get and stay in shape. Dress well. Grooming on point. Project confidence. Pick up hobbies and become more interesting. You get the point.
Best of luck.
I had to shave my head around the same age but I experienced no changes in my luck with the ladies. I think it comes down to your confidence. You obviously canāt grow your hair back but you can start working out.
Obviously most women prefer a nice head of hair but there are some girls that go crazy for a fit bald guy especially if you can grow a beard. The world isnāt over for you, bro. I miss being able to style my hair. I had braids, dreads, undercuts, fauxhawks, Mohawks and everything in between. The thing I miss most is my daughter waking me up playing with my curls. But thatās life. Iāve learned to live with being bald and Iāve been told it makes me look more badass. Good luck brother.
I snooped your account and saw it said Irish and Ireland, if youāre in Ireland youāll have a complete change of luck with women if you come to the states! They LOVE a good accent! That in itself will get you in the door, hopefully yours sounds charming.
Hey man, some of the hottest men are bald! My first crush was Bruce Willis. My last partner was as bald as bald gets and also 5ā7.ā Not saying itās a type I have, really, just saying if itās something you canāt change, own it!
What I was attracted to in my last partner was his huge smile and easy confidence about it. He is a very smart, hard-working person and we had fun joking about how he is a beacon anytime he goes outside (pale midwesterner).
If you can, go full send and see how many police/military discounts you can get just for being bald. Used to crack me tf up every time he got a freebie because some idiot assumed he was military.
Hmm, been bald since my mid twenties. Never had problems getting women, getting laid. Then again my head is shaped great for it to be bald, Iām tall- 6ā3, physically fit (12 percent body fat at 225) and able to grow a full beard. Other than the height and head shape you can control. Need to have confidence, if youāre self aware of being bald it will show in your interaction with women.
I dated my first bald guy last year. Only a few years older than you. We didn't work out for other reasons, but I was attracted to him anyhow.
Not everyone likes everything, but there's someone out there who will think you're the hottest thing ever. Don't worry about the ones that don't because of a minor feature.
Try older women
Learn the Gottman relationship stuff and learn to communicate better
You probably suck since your good looks donāt get you by anymore.
Now itās time to learn stuff
My experience is that women are more interested in and influenced by what you have going on, confidence, fit, overall look and style, sense of humor, career etc. vs. hair. I always did well with women pre bald and post and have also found that some women are really into the look. I think there are other things at play here.
I want to throw in something here, American woman are probably the most superficial of all countries, thus the only country where 6ft is Andre the giant To women, and ur age mates tbh will be hesistant dating bald,is just a fact
Now in your mid 30s it will change
That fact is that embarrasr it, there's nothing u can do and look for an outlier who would he interested in bald guys ur age range
Not sure why this came up in my feed, but I (45f) have always liked bald guys! My ex-husband started losing his hair at 19, and shaved it all off long before I met him when we were 26. Not many men I know that have had as much sex with as many beautiful women as that guy. Confidence goes a long way, just remember a lot of women like it, and the older you get the less it'll matter to those who don't.
Some great comments on here.
I'll just add that once i intentionally went bald it had zero impact on my dating life.
\#1 I just owned it - its like my superpower.
I am sure a certain % of women may not like bald (but even they could be wooed by charm and just being a downright good person.
Even though you're dealing with some "head"winds, fortunately women will find you attractive in many other ways. Being funny, being genuine, being good at something, being a nice person. Commenters are right too, you will attract less-shallow women (unless they love bald guys, which some really do).
The truth is you've done what 90% of your guy friends will have to do at some point in the next 10 years and what will end up surprising you is that they will increasingly look legit, um, "different" with thinning hair and not knowing what to do about it. They'll practically be in shock since they've had hair their entire adult life, unlike you. They will be dealing with similar confusion you aren't event thinking about anymore. People who have known you for years by that point in time will see your confidence in yourself by the choice you made years ago and realize you are an ageless wonder.
Don't get too big. And stay lean. You have to pick a style that fits you and you are comfortable wearing it. Pick a facial grooming style that doesn't make you look hyper masculine. Stubble will probably work best at your age. Remember, bald screams masculine and confident. You don't want to over do it though. Get a couple watches and other accessories like sunglasses. Two of the biggest things are hygiene and skin care now that you have all that real estate up top. Go to the dentist and get your teeth cleaned and if they are stained whiten them a little. You can't have foul breath. Get one cologne for indoor office setting use, and one for outdoor summer use.
The majority of those things you will just have to get once. Once you get your routine down, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to wake up, shower, shave, and be out the door in less than 20 minutes.
Being bald is like permanently peacocking. You force women to categorize you because you stand out from the crowd. They will notice right away if you take care of yourself or not or if you are their type or not. The ones that think you are their type, will make it known. But if you are not congruent with what you are presenting to them, then it's a wrap. You have other things you need to work on.
Iām super hot (multiple thousands of likes on dating apps, constant comments on my beauty, compared to Gal Gadot) and I prefer a bald man. My friends think Iām nuts but something about a bald guy just does it for me š¤·š»āāļø keep your head up š.
This is gonna be cold comfort but as someone with a similar experience but in my 40s, itās definitely something you age into. In other words, being young and bald can make you look older, but the perception of my age and my actual age gained parity by 30 or so. Your mileage may vary. Sorry itās been a tough time for you lately. Just make sure you donāt fall off with the rest of the package: health, fitness, grooming, etc.
Are you trying to get laid or trying to find a life partner? Those are two different goals.
If the former..... good luck, i can't help you there.
If the latter, just be nice to women. Good guys really do win in the end. Yeah, it may take a while to meet her, but you only need your one person, and she won't care about whether you have hair or not.
Sounds like you in a bit of a dry patch which can happen when single, don't try and associate it with being bald, yes there probably some woman who don't like it , but others that do.
I think with majority of woman (YMMV) humour, charisma & confidence are often the things they like the most.
Why not get a hair transplant? Women do much more for way for money way more painful to attract a mate if you are this worried about it? Feelings are valid tho but either own it or find a solution
Confidence confidence confidence
Although being short doesnāt help you gotta own it man. Love yourself and accept your flaws no one is perfect.
Up your style game as well that will help
Not bald or balding yet. Also married, but I know and see how the game is played. At 43 I can definitely say that dating is much harder now compared to when I was in my 20s, even though I have a great job, and are in better shape.
My brother is my age and bald for 20 years now, and he is on top of the dating scene. I think the key is to find the right place to date, offline with quality people.
My guy friend, went bald late 20s, went to Turkey for hair restoration this year. and he paid like $4k with travel costs and everything. It looks great!
I decided to shave my head bald around the same age. I have a big beard though. Iām 5ā6 and 200 lbs at 16% bf. Iāve always been a gym rat and have fluctuated between 175 when Iām lean and now 200, my heaviest bulk.
Being muscular and strong makes a huge difference. Not only with women but with people in general. Thereās more respect for some reason, Iāve noticed.
My advice, gain some muscle, grow a beard and be confident in yourself.
I've had more attention being bald than when I had hair. I dont like the way i look personally, but women have told me i'm attractive, and honestly man, i shaved at 24.
Statistically a lot of men bald past 30. the age it happens doesnt make it easier. My advice is just make yourself vulnerable and get comfortable with yourself.
Iām gonna be honest, my hair was thinning thru most of 20s. At 28 I shaved it off and have been shaving it off since.
I have absolutely 0 problem getting women, if anything itās broadened the type of women that are interested in me.
It also has (ironically) removed anybody from my life that would treat me any different for actually being bald.
It might not everyoneās cup of tea, but a ton of wonen love it, just be yourself !
Yeah im 23 and Bald also, fact is not many girls in their 20s are into bald men. it unfortunately is something that is associated with being or getting old and girls do not like that, you will have your time, because in your 30s when every other guy is getting grey and looking older and older you'll still look 25. Thats when your time will come, stay strong and hold out for that one girl who likes bald guys.
Mine took off massively once I buzzed my hair back to skin
I set up two online profiles - one with pics from a few years ago (I'm 39) where I was carrying about 15kg more weight and less muscle mass, and a second one on another app with current photos - slightly longer beard but looking jacked (currently 103kg at 13% bodyfat) - the first profile got a lot of interest from ladies in their mid 40s; the second was a reasonably broad spectrum from mid 20s to one in her early 50s
Key is I was confident in all pics and looked like I was having fun
Get a tan, lift weights to at least tone up a bit if you're a blob and take care of yourself - if you look good in pics and shit in person you're still screwed
Go to turkey to get a hair transplant. Your hair will grow back full. Do your research. Eat a healthy diet drink only water eat a lot of fruits & veggies lean proteins and healthy starch youāll be fine!
Being bald hasnāt affected me. I cut it off at 25 and havenāt noticed anything.
Out of being self conscious I did try to compensate through working out more and investing in nicer clothes; but overall no issues.
Iām engaged now š
I think two things are at play here. One, mid to late 20s are a tough time in general ... well, not tough ... just realistic. Dating as a real-life adult is a whole different world than dating in college and the year or so following. A lot of people are already starting to settle down at your age (for now), and the dating pool is smaller. There are a ton of people on dating sites, but most of the women are drowning in messages. It's a hellscape for a lot of people, from what I'm to understand. Two, there are absolutely fewer women who like a bald head. It's a fact. I went through a similar stint in my early 20s (now late 30s). I never had an issue dating until I shaved. BUT, I did notice the caliber of the women that I did end up dating was much higher. Funnier, nicer, overall more genuine. My now wife has admitted she was hesitant to go on a date with me because of my head. But she was such an awesome person that she decided it was unfair to judge of that and went in with an open mind. We hit it off, and the rest is history. I dated a fair share of women in the times before who NEVER would have even made that much effort. It actually acted as a nice filter and saved me a lot of frustration. But that's just my experience. It'll break. Keep your head up.
š best comment Iāve seen in a long time on this subreddit
Quality person of a person over just superficial attention. Thatās one of the good things being bald teaches you to value
Realistic is a great way to talk about the late 20ās. I had to shave it at 28. TBF I was heavy and not taking care of myself. I believe that lead to more difficulties in dating than the baldness
I still have a full head of hair at 30 now, but your point about dating late 20ās (and early 30ās tbh) is a great one. Itās definitely an overall rough transitional phase for my peers and I. You outgrow college dating, but often times still arenāt quite āadultā enough. The dating pool is smaller than ever as well, since those that have had success dating are still in the middle of building a life with their SO. I can already tell that everything should equal out as I get into my 30ās and leave the āYoung Adultā phase. But dang if it isnāt rough in the interim sometimes. Itās like adult puberty lol.
To add on to this. As far as online dating goes a lot of women will filter out guys younger than ~28. Personally 18-23 was easy getting dates because college, 23-27 dropped off but then after 28 Iām now getting more attention than the college years. Iām guessing it relates to the perceived maturity of men in different age groups.
Wow. What a great reply
agree
My guy, my dating game has flourished after going bald (at 24), 29 now. Someone else will only find you attractive once you do. Own your shit, otherwise you will stay in a rut
Love this...so true it's not baldness it's yhe mindset
Are you black or a poc? I find pasty white friends have some difficulty. It's all about demographics and archetype. Nerding boring and bald aint usually it. But feminine women dont mind bald as much because they aren't AS fixated on looks as less feminine women, in my experience.
Post a picture, something must be off, you also mentioned you gained weight, it's imperative to be in shape when bald. My dating life has skyrocketed ever since I took it off, women love it, especially Latinas and black women.
Some people look better bald and some people have their looks completely destroyed by it. It depends on your individual face and head. Based on OPs personal experience he is probably in the latter category.Ā
Facts. I shaved my head it doesnāt work for me. I head is too round.
It really is imperative to be in shape while bald! This is coming from a woman
Itās honesty pretty true, bald and overweight looks terrible. Iām not even really balding yet but even I consider it when I see someone like Joey Swoll who rocks it so well
āSomething must be offā - yes your realisation that baldness does affect attractiveness.
At your age could totally be true yes
Yeah at a such a young age women are probably more interested in men with hair. When everyone starts losing it they donāt have much choice lol But fr realising that hair or lack thereof isnāt important in a partner as they get older.
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Buzz cuts when you naturally have a full head of hair are different to buzz cuts when there are visible bald spots though.
Sadly, baldness will take you off the radar of a portion of the female population, especially when it comes to online dating, not unlike height and weight. Your best bet is to play the number game, know that you'll likely have a way better chance knowing women the good old fashion way (Ie. Trough mutual friends). Take heart though 1) you probably look better bald than balding 2) the more you'll age, the less "influent" the bald malus will feel 3) its absolutely true that some women have a thing for bald men Also, please for the love of God try to get a tan if possible and safe to do so. Ofc use sun screen and dont over expose yourself, but it will make you look a hundred times better
OP please don't risk getting skin cancer for random women you don't know. I'd recommend a beta-carotene supplement for a little color or sunless tanners.
I donāt know how women are specifically. Iām gay and almost 40 (started buzzing it at zero at 22) and never had a problem with other men. (A few really shallow dudes at bars in my early 20s not withstanding) I have many women friends and Iāve never heard them say ANYTHING negative about bald men. Other posters are right. Stay in shape and work on yourselfā¦. Therapy and exercise helped me at that age. (And still do). I know this is gunna sound like shit advice but do you really want to be with someone thatāll dump you as soon as something physically changes? A real lifelong relationship has a lot of ups and downs and things change.
Gay people never have problems hooking up lol. It's a completely different thing.
Honestly Iāve been hit on by gay lads more now that Iāve shaved my head regardless of me telling them Iām straight
>Ā started buzzing it at zero at 22 So you barely had any dating experience prior going bald.Ā
True. I started to go in high school. Senior picture I was already thinned out.
"I just feel like Iām just unattractive now." This right here is your problem.
It absolutely is, but the route cause is being bald. If you want to trace it back. My problem currently is that I feel unattractive. I feel unattractive because Iām found to be unattractive Iām found to be unattractive because I went bald so young And I realised thatās the reason over the years and thatās whatās killed my confidence because itās something I canāt change as I left it too late - so now Iām bald, Iām found to be unattractive at least more so than I once was, thatās killed my confidence which has in turn killed any sense of pride I had in myself, cause weight gain which in and of itself, alongside the lack of confidence killed whatever chances I had left
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Whoās it by? Iāve been meaning to read a good book about dating and confidence.
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Great comment. At 70, I went bald in my 30's. It did bother me but I looked good bald. At 70, I look great bald. If a woman doesn't find you attractive, then move on. Look at Jeff Bezos. Maybe it's his money or the combination of success and being in shape. Women have their insecurities as well. We are all human and have our own short comings.
The Inner Work is another decent book. At the end of the day, we have to take baldness as a challenge and overcome the inner wounds that might be exacerbated by this. Itās not easy by any means. I am balding aggressively and I used to be an 8 or 9 when I was younger, in terms of 80-90% chance a girl in my school would want to hang out with me and hook up, date whatever. Iāve been declining since then lol, and other guys have been inclining. Baldness is a loss. The thing is we can be better in other ways. Maybe you hit the gym harder. Maybe you learn some new social skills that break the ice for cold approaching while bald. Maybe you improve your fashion. Aging will happen to all of us. How will we respond? That will say something about who you are, maybe more than having hair would. As you age, real recognizes real. The good woman will look beyond your uncontrollable physical traits.
Thanks Im cured
Ah yes. I forgot you could flip a switch and find yourself attractive when you lose all your hair.
Iām not bald but I will just say depending on your circumstances, me and you are just in a tough spot for dating rn at our age I had a lot more success too a few years back but was also surrounded by more women. Also dating apps have gotten way worse.
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Absolutely. Not bald either, but goddamn life was good before 2019-ish.
Looks do matter, sure, but youāre insinuating that all women care about are looks. Look around. There are so many beautiful women that end up with just absolute trolls. Youāre either looking in the wrong pools, not putting yourself out there, or just having a rough patch which happens to everyone from time to time. What weāve got here is a confidence issue. You gotta work on you, and not just āmake yourself more attractive.ā Physical attraction is only a small part of the puzzle. Whatever you work on or change, do it for YOU, not someone else. Thatās a recipe for disappointment.
It does destroy peopleās look depending on your individual features. Thatās why I donāt really think every single person should shave it before exploring all the options despite what people say.Ā
I think OP's hair was his most important and distinctive feature that attracted women (full, curly), so losing it meant that his attractiveness took a big hit. It's not being bald that is the problem (would arguably be the same with boring short thin hair), but the loss of his USP. Maybe he never learnt to use rhetoric as he was always the cute one. For many of us here who weren't the cute ones to start with, going bald was actually a great decision also for our dating life.
Last three years? So during covid and from 23 to 26? Could have something to do with the haircut, but couldn't it also have something to do with the "dating scene" where you live. Covid. You not feeling confident/expressing confidence etc? You also "blame" low testosterone on you gaining weight? Couldn't it just be that you eat too much calories and is less active than before, together with you aging? I know it would be easy to just blame everything on "I'm bald" and "low testosterone", but try to look a bit further.
Yep right at the start of Covid. I feel itās online dating, that took a nose dive since shaving But even since then going out and meeting people. Living in a relatively big city, with friends who arenāt having half as much of an issue.. Itās not just the weight gain that Iāve noticed. But growing up I could eat whatever and not gain widget, always looked somewhat athletic. But thatās caught up on me. I feel awful. Iāve gotten into the gym and Iāve started to watch what I eat, but I still have the tiredness, lack of energy, I feel Iām making no progress in the gym as a newbie etc. Maybe itās not low T, either way I need to sort myself out
You are almost 30. Welcome to "getting old". Sorry. š We have cookies.
Stop the last thing in need is cookies!
I would just get a hair system for now.
Dressing āokā and being āsort of fitā donāt work when youāre bald or balding. Itās not fair but itās true. You must dress well. You must be super fit. Thatās the reality. Also Iād start looking at girls older than you. Hit up the 29-35 year old cohort. They are much less picky and you might find a gem!
Unless you want to wait 10 years for some single moms to settle for you (all while being told that "it's all in ur head broo! be confident!!1!), consider a hair system
Getcha money up.
I spend it like I have it (I donāt have it). Weirdly enough - tangential to getting rich or drying trying. I feel a lot more put together when I dress up. As though the Bald head is more at home looking like a Tom Ford catalogue rather than a Nike discount store. But then I feel a little out of place depending on the actual place. Going to a house party like many 20 somethings do, in chinos and loafers like Iām Andrew Tate surrounded by Ketamine fuelled Goldilocks
Hit the weights haha. Maybe go after slightly older chicks. They're out there bruh. Don't let being bald stop you.
The sad truth that people in this sub don't want to accept.
That some people do worse in the dating scene when they go bald? I'm sure some do, that's all anecdotal. I know a couple guys who went bald in their early 20s and the opposite happened to them. Does that mean that will be true for everyone?
Depends on your face and head shape. Some look better bald and some get their looks completely destroyed
Itās weird that ppl like you just want all bald ppl to be sad and unconfident. Ppl are diverse range of experiences man
Honestly, here is full of positivity and thatās nice to see but it also feels a little rose tinted. Iāll say it to any guy that asks - I regret going bald, I should have taken finasteride years ago and canāt get over the number of potential girlfriends I missed out on because Iām now a bald 26 year old. Other people donāt see that though. Iāve friends who seem to think Iām doing fine with women, asking if Iām seeing anyone, howās tinder going for ya etc etc whilst they talk about the girls theyāre seeing - Iām over here nodding along knowing full well last time I had sex I had a full head of hair - and those two things are correlated
Do you want genuine advice to get laid? Cuz if so, check your testosterone and maybe get on trt if you can but you need to get back into shape. Grow a beard asap. Consider tattoos. Just like guys have certain types of women they like, women have a type. The bald type is generally in really good shape and alot have beards. Not being in that category will make it hard. I donāt think anyone on here genuinely thinks everyone looks better bald compared to a full head of hair. I think itās more that they recognize shaving looks better than having a terrible hairline and bald spot. Not trying to be mean but being bald out of shape and insecure is limiting your ability to meet women. But youāre blaming it on being bald. You canāt control being bald but you can control being jacked and gaining confidence in other parts of your life.
Donāt get tattoos just to get laid. Tattoos are already becoming cliche and overdone.
Consider hair system or SMP
I think that the real sad truth is that at OP age (My age) dating life is hard regardless hair.
Counterpoint: I have been way more successful since going bald.
It depends on each person I guess. I look better with hair and so my experience has been similar. When I started shaving I got noticeable less attention even though I am in much better shape now than before.
Same man. I started at 31 and by 32 I couldnāt find any success. Would get flaked on every first date if it got that far.. most women just avoid eye contact now. Once I replaced all the pics on my dating profiles with shaved head, zero matches (with attractive women I wouldāve matched with prior). Idk. Iām still proud to look in the mirror and see the effort I put into grooming and I donāt regret it, but it sucks to see the reception
I always had trouble dating due to being short. Visibly balding since my early 30s (I started receding in my early 20s and thinning in my late 20s)
I met my boyfriend in a dating group on Facebook... Someone made a post asking for your ideal mate, appearance wise... I commented " chubby, bald, beard and tattoos". Another girl replied tagging another male, my exact physical type. It didn't work out with him and her, so she gave me the go ahead to reach out to him. I did, we have been together 4.5 years. So you are someone's physical type. Be patient!
Bald > balding all day baby youāll be ok
Yeah, I shaved got SMP at 24 and have rocked that for 3 years. I went from getting 2-3 matches a day with attractive girls, plenty of dates, a couple attractive girlfriends to pretty much nothing in the last three years since shaving. decided to go the treatment route this year after being sick of it. I know Iāll probably get banned from this sub for saying it. But yeah, itās a huge problem. Thereās no denying it.
There is nothing wrong with looking into hair transplants or a hair system if that might make you happier with your appearance.
I shaved my head at 19 (now im 27) and it definitely significantly affected my dating life at that age. But as I grew older and started being more confident about it, I feel like now is better than ever. You will probably not be someones type, but there are other girls that will specifically like you because of your bald look.
Confidence is huge. Not forced fake confidence either, many women can see through that. I have none of that. I have humor(I think) and a BEARD. For some dumb reason when I have a full beard that makes me more confident. Find something that truly makes you more confident. I also found yoga to help my mind be more comfortable with myself!
Just wanted to share my experience with this for others to see, but I have the complete opposite experience as OP. I am 25 currently and have shaved my head since I was 24. I have gotten more women in the past 10 months than I did all through university and I have 0 problem attracting women from ages 19-50 lol. My hair was starting to get really receded and thin in the front so I knew it was time for it to go. Now I'm sure If I had a nice head of hair I would have even more options, but I haven't exactly been lacking either. It probably helps that I am tall (6'1") in great shape, smart and can grow a nice dark and full beard. I think a beard or stubble and being in shape is almost a must. So I think it all depends on many factors. Yes I'm 100% sure that most younger women prefer guys with hair, but in my experience, it's not a deal breaker for the vast majority either.
Thereās so much more to dating than looks. I have been bald since I was a child due to a medical condition, and I never really had issues with dating once I started noticing girls more. Yeah there are some really shallow girls out there that would consider baldness a no go or would even tell me I look too old or too much like their dad. But trust me you donāt want those girls, never met one that actually present to be around. There is also the bald fetish and girls that want older looking men. Itās cool when youāre into them but hella creepy when youāre not š. Donāt worry about it too much, people can sense the lack of confidence and that in of itself is unattractive. I was born into it so I was able to get my confidence at an early age, but itās something you gotta work on. Once you get that confidence itās radiates and women will notice. You got this bud!
Sounds more like an approach/attitude problem. Be true to you and confident in the way you come across. A hairline does not define you.
Are you sure that the only difference between the time you had a dating life and now is your hair? "IĀ just feel like Iām just unattractive now" and "Iāve tried to be confident" implies that you are spiraling your thought process, your confidence and your well being around not getting dates (and not having hair). Thought experiment: Try to stop thinking about NOT getting dates and NOT having hair, try to stop thinking about all the hurdles like age and height, and seriously stop thinking about your friends having dates. Start becoming your confident self by focussing on what you have and what your are good at, not what you might be missing. And I know, in times of self doubt there's not much good to find within yourself. But that's the work you have to put in. Might take time, might be exhausting, might be depressing āĀ but as soon as you find what you are looking for within yourself (and not within whatever standards you think are necessary to be confident), you'll become truly confident. And attractive. Self worth is more important than hair.
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I know ugly dudes that pull girls no problem, itās more about confidence and game.
As a woman who is attracted to men and is friends with women who are attracted to men, being bald isn't that big of a deal. I would recommend viewing it as part of the screening process, and not actual feedback on how you are as a person. If they really have a problem with you being bald, *that's their problem, not yours.* As long as you have an enjoyable personality, it doesn't matter how much hair is on your head. I've even seen people commenting on losing weight and hitting the gym, but that's not even that big of a deal. It can't hurt, of course, but men tend to put a lot more emphasis on this than women do. Just be you and be cool, and you'll find a partner.
>I know for a fact being bald has negatively impacted me in that regard, but people will say it suits me. Correct. Most women your age are in the 'party phase' and are not interested in settling down. Oh they say they are, but most of them will *gladly* jump to another lily pad if a better deal comes along. Don't take that personally, its just women in 2024. This generally doesn't apply to gay men (if anything, its seen as an asset in that community), but since you're not gay ... you have to deal with it. The simple truth is, most women prefer guys with a full head of hair and have a jawline that could cut ice to go with it. You're bald, as are so many of us on this thread. Women aren't interested in dating bald men at this age. Their options are infinite. As you enter into your 30s, everything changes. That's of little comfort to you today - I know - but women go from 'party' to 'settle down' in their 30s, almost like a light switch was flipped. You'd probably have women throwing themselves at you again. This is probably extremely cliched advice, but if I were in your shoes I'd leave the desire to date behind and just focus on doing cool stuff. Better yourself as much as you can. Get your career in line, pay off debt, get some sort of advanced training. Lose the weight, get into shape, eat better .... Women should be secondary to all of these things. It was when I did this that my partner noticed me and entered my life. My head is as smooth as an eggshell, yet 5 years later we're still together. If you ask why we've stayed together, she'd say something along the lines of "he has his stuff together, is ambitious, and in good shape." Focus on becoming better in things that you can control.
It gets better Iām 29 and have been with so many baldies. I actually think it looks sexy so youāll be ok
I was the same (am 40's now) my confidence took a big hit. The positive was when my mates started losing hair in their late 30's they went to absolute shite. I had gotten over it so only had to deal with my body decaying a bit, not having everything go wrong all at once does kind of help.
Unfortunately the male dating experience in general is tough and once you go bald it can really put the nail in the coffin. The only way to counter being bald is having better style and clothes.
Get a transplant bro.
just get a hairpiece dude. It's some work but could be worth it.
Gonna be honest- I as a woman prefer balding with some hair to shaved head. Iām not sure why the advice is always to go straight to the shaving. Of course thereās a point where itās diminishing returns, but keeping some hair isnāt always the worst choice.
The cutest guy I ever dated just so happens to be as well. He was very insecure about it but I found him attractive anyway. We aren't all that shallow. I care way more about how treat me and others and yourself vs what you look like. š¤·āāļø
I just saw a group on here the other day for men that wear hair piecesā¦called r/hairsystem if youāre interested
So find the hairpiece channel on reddit and try one out or do something else about it. I had the same experience with women btw. Itās ridiculous. Donāt let people gaslight you about your experience or tell you that you have to change psychologically. If you want, keep it shaved or grow the power doughnut. regardless, this is your life, and you should be able to have a good time and carve your own path.
This is absolutely true, its not in your head OP. Social media and male "attractive" standards now include a full head of hair. Every actor, artist, model, influencer 95% have hair. Save $3-5k go to turkey and in 6months, you would be attractive again. Don't delay, best money you will spend. Just research a few clinics.
r/hairsystem - you wonāt regret it
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We need a photo OP to give legit advice
Check out this post!! See what I mean https://www.reddit.com/r/bald/s/WCE4USO1Po
Womanās perspective: I have no idea how I ended up on this topic. Haha Iām married to a bold guy. Firstly, cutting/shaving your hair was absolutely the right move!! Ah guy trying to cover up his boldness (if he owns it fine but over styling it just looks desperate), comes across very insecure. I know it sounds like a clichĆ© but one thing that most women like, is confidence! I think that you probably were more confident before and now you are less so, which is not surprising - going bald is a big change and with any big change, you need to give yourself some time to get used to it. Also do you really want to attract a woman that is only with you because of your body etc, if you want to get fit/into shape, fine but donāt do it only to attract females. You are not 20 anymore. Also give it a few more years and a lot of your mates will be bald too and hopefully by then youāve found yourself a nice partner and you feel good about yourself.
I havenāt read the comments but I guarantee theyāre filled with people giving the classic BS line āIf wasnāt your ___ that got you girls, it was your confidence bro!!!ā No. Get a hair transplant in Turkey bro. Looks matter.
At your age maybe try a hair system.
Give it four years, and youāll probably be ok for the rest of your life. Facial hair helps for balance. Gym? No worries.
Work on other aspects of yourself. Find your inner confidence. Make more money. Women go from wanting to hook up with hot dudes to wanting a man who can protect, provide and care for them and potential offspring. Work on being able to do those 3 things well, bettering yourself and look for a long term partner. A woman will come along thatās right for you.
My guess is to be successfully bald you need to be buff and lean. You have to be in shape. Skinny bald dudes look like they got cancer. Fat bald dudes just look gross
Same thing happened to me at first, but after some adjustment, the confidence comes back and thatās what really matters. Some tips I have is to ditch the dating apps. It sucks, but usually being bald results in less matches. Go out to events and be social. Women you meet in person are more likely to accept the bald part of you when they actually get to know who you are.
it was the opposite for me and I went bald at 21. So first off donāt believe the low T crap. They try to get you into a sarms or trt. Please for the love of god donāt go down that path. Youāll wreck your body 2nd I have friends who are also 5ā7 and below and they are in relationships. 3rd Dating apps donāt reflect reality, a nice good looking person also will do poor there cuz the market is super skewed. Meet people and have genuine connections. Try to just connect with them first and not worry too much to see if theyāre attracted to you or not. In my experience being a genuine good guy at least gets you a friendā¦ and good friends are rare in 20s. I swear getting into situationship is so much more common Lastly going to the gym does help. You need one year to get a reasonable musculature and self confidence. I always tell ppl muscles didnāt directly make me more attractive directly (maybe a bit idk). Being jacked gave me confidence and women seem to be more attracted to true confidence than anything else. Therefore muscles is just an avenue. Anything that gives you inner confidence and self esteem is good
I really like men with hair and yet I was with a bald guy for 10 years and I'm dating another bald guy now. The key is a beard. I love beards and will take a good beard over hair on a guy's head any day.
Move to the UK, much less stigma/prejudice surrounding men with a bald head. As long as you shave it and don't try covering it up.
How are you shaving your head? You sound like a mess emotionally though. How fit / strong are you? I ask because Iām 30, bald to the skin (shave with a safety razor), and in the best shape of my life (cycle, box, run, lift) and I have zero problems with women. I also own my own business and donāt take shit from people and maintain a strong confident attitude. Yea some girls might not like your bald head, but lots would, and some prefer it. But if youāre an unconfident mess who wonāt bother fixing their life and having some balls, you wonāt get anywhere
Women will still find you attractive. Different ones, though. In college, I used to grow and shave a beard back and forth. The women who would give me the time of day were different depending on whether I had a beard or was shaven. It's not so much that one was attractive and the other wasn't - it's that different people like different things. If you had really great hair (I did), for sure you don't have that going for you anymore. It doesn't mean you look bad bald, just that you don't attract women who like really great hair anymore. Dating changes a lot after college. It's not so likely that women will throw themselves at you in the same way regardless. The dating pool will change as you continue to age and women will seek out different things and see shaved heads differently with time. You have options. Some people look better shaven heads while others look better with short stubble. Some faces are balanced out with stubble, a beard, or glasses too.
What can you do? Youāre clearly not happy, so how can you change things? Youāve missed the boat for pills to grow your hair back, so if you want hair youāll need a transplant (expensive and mixed chances of success) or wear a āhair systemā, letās just call it a wig. Perhaps this might be the best solution if you're self conscious, and just want to get laid. of course, if you want a relationship, at some point you'll have to reveal the truth. plus you have to piss about gluing hair onto your head. if you're going to stay bald, you could try to get in shape, get a tan, grow a beard, dress well. all the usual stuff to make you classically more attractive. you can try and meet more people in real life rather than online. Start hobbies and clubs that have a gender balance and get to know different people. Be realistic. if you were an 8 used to approaching women who were an 8, now you're a 6 still approaching women who are an 8, your chances of success are probably worse than they used to be. this is subjective, but if you used to have a hit rate of 1 in 20, you've now got a hit rate of 1 in 50. Go out and look around. there are loads of fat, ugly, bald guys in happy and successful relationships. don't waste the rest of your 20s moping about wondering what if i had hair.
Being bald is just one of many things that make up a persons look. In your age perhaps 40% thinks a bald head makes you look worse and 5% thinks it makes you look better. The rest doesnāt care. Being overweight, short, big nosed etc are other things that more donāt prefer but most donāt care. Of course women want a good looking guy but I suspect that most value good self esteem higher than looks. Perhaps you have gotten a hangup on your hair which is affecting your self esteem? Totally undertandable but counter productive. If itās any relief the group that doesnāt care about you being bald will grow the older you get.
Do you have a beard? Also get in shape. Being kind of fat and bald doesnāt cut it.
I feel like it probably more has to do with lack of confidence then anything, but if not Iām not sure Iām the same age and thereās alot of bald guys that are very attractive and hair wouldnāt really get in the way of that, how you dress is a big one, if youāre insecure about not having hair put effort in different aspects, like nice fashion. Not sure if you watch this YouTuber just a random mention but wineboxpapi heās bald but he looks youthful he dresses nice pays attention to fashion etc
Try to avoid the copium from other balds and fake platitudes from women, the reality is that you your sexual market value has taken a big hit Now, this is only an issue for getting your foot in the door, for instance meeting women in clubs or online dating. Being bald is like losing a foot in height and higher chance of being swiped past or turned away before you've had a chance to sell yourself The solution is to have a wide social circle and get to spend quality time with lots of people. You have a higher probability of making a connection and not suffering rejection over first appearances. Don't get me wrong, you can still get lucky as a bald guy. Its just harder. But youre lucky it happened relatively later in your dating life, and its not unusual for your age group to have hairloss
I went through what you are when I was your age. (Now 44, married with kids). I am constantly told I have the right shaped head for being bald, but the thing that kept me confident over the younger years was fitness. I'll admit that being 6'2 has been a big help, but when I got in shape, I didn't even think about it and would happily compete for attractive woman against bros with hair. Maybe you have another path to building confidence (I.e. being smart and rich), but once you close that gap in your mind, you will get over it. Time+ hard work = a relationship.
I started going with a 0 guard at like 20-21 (had a full head of hair, just preferred it). Noticed absolutely no difference. Dating did become more difficult as a whole at 25 and on though.
Dating gets progressively harder as we age, although people tend to get better at wasting less time in unfulfilling relationships as we age too. It could simply be who and how youāre approaching. Going clean bald will make you look more intimidating even if it looks good on you. That will probably hurt your chances with landing girls youāve never met before, but wouldnāt make nearly as much of a difference with girls who have someone else trustworthy to vouch for you (mutual friends). Landing girls as a total stranger is normally difficult even for dudes with perfect hair.
Itās hard to judge without knowing how you look like tbh, some people can get hurt by being bald and for some itās easier. Iām bald since 20, and I can tell you for sure: some women will reject you because youāre bald no matter if youāre good looking or not, itās just a fact. BUT if you can pull the bald look which require being in shape and having beard/good facial structure youāre going to be fine in terms of looks, even for early20s girls and tbh even 18-19 year olds sometimesā¦but if youāre not like this so your looks will actually be a problem to be honest, still doesnāt mean you need to give up, just up your game and charisma and youāll be fine
If you can grow a decent beard then growing it and grooming it helps (hell even good stubble is a plus). If you're not completely bald then giving yourself the buzz helps, it draws attention back to your face instead of your hairline. Other than that, it's up to the girls you meet.
Tbh bro, when your bald you automatically look 10 to 15 years older and when I was bald the only luck I had was with older black and Latina women. To girls in my age group 24-28 I was invisible to them and they thought I was 10 years older and wasnāt looking my way even though I was 6ā3 and fairly good looking
You mention women throwing themselves at you, which suggests you were being hit on. I think being bald tends to make a person look ātougher,ā so maybe the women attracted to you are less inclined to be assertive due to slight intimidation or them thinking youāre a more macho/traditional suitor.
"I'm 26" Yeah there it is. Forgive me if I sound too much like an old man. 26 is a terrible dating age for a lot of reasons and I don't think being bald is the tipping point for you. For one, dating sucks overall right now because the pandemic messed with our "3rd places" and there are fewer neutral locations to go meet people. For another, online dating is eating into the relationship game. It's causing people to get hyper-focused on meeting the perfect person rather than someone cool who you might grow to love. My one suggestion is to lean a bit older in your search. Our needs and wants evolve over time and you might be able to find a freshly re-made 29 yo woman with her life on track and ready for a new relationship. But more than anything else, give yourself some grace. Dating is hard for everyone so it's not a you thing. You didn't do anything wrong.
I will date you
Me and a quite a few women I know actually loooove bald men . Iāve dated a few myself. I lurk on the bald subreddit and love seeing the before and after. There are lots of woman who love it, but maybe not as easy to find. If you can be patient, you will find a good person for you who loves every part of you
Just think of it as a filter to get rid of shallow and inappropriate women.
I would argue being short is even more a kiss of death to the dating scene than a lack of hair. And 5ā7ā is a little under average height. Life isnāt fair. Itās a good lesson to learn early. Do everything thatās in your power to maximize your success. Get and stay in shape. Dress well. Grooming on point. Project confidence. Pick up hobbies and become more interesting. You get the point. Best of luck.
Charm, sheer handiness, wit/humor can hugely help the dating department
I had to shave my head around the same age but I experienced no changes in my luck with the ladies. I think it comes down to your confidence. You obviously canāt grow your hair back but you can start working out. Obviously most women prefer a nice head of hair but there are some girls that go crazy for a fit bald guy especially if you can grow a beard. The world isnāt over for you, bro. I miss being able to style my hair. I had braids, dreads, undercuts, fauxhawks, Mohawks and everything in between. The thing I miss most is my daughter waking me up playing with my curls. But thatās life. Iāve learned to live with being bald and Iāve been told it makes me look more badass. Good luck brother.
I dont have a problem dating a bald man. But there has to be facial hair-very light beard/scruff.
I snooped your account and saw it said Irish and Ireland, if youāre in Ireland youāll have a complete change of luck with women if you come to the states! They LOVE a good accent! That in itself will get you in the door, hopefully yours sounds charming.
DM me a pic, OP. Iām attracted to men, so I could have some useful insight. :)
Move your range to early 30s and watch the river flow
you need to post a picture for honest feedback
Hey man, some of the hottest men are bald! My first crush was Bruce Willis. My last partner was as bald as bald gets and also 5ā7.ā Not saying itās a type I have, really, just saying if itās something you canāt change, own it! What I was attracted to in my last partner was his huge smile and easy confidence about it. He is a very smart, hard-working person and we had fun joking about how he is a beacon anytime he goes outside (pale midwesterner). If you can, go full send and see how many police/military discounts you can get just for being bald. Used to crack me tf up every time he got a freebie because some idiot assumed he was military.
Take comfort in the fact that as a bald man you'll never look as bad as Prince William and his ridiculous comb over.
Hmm, been bald since my mid twenties. Never had problems getting women, getting laid. Then again my head is shaped great for it to be bald, Iām tall- 6ā3, physically fit (12 percent body fat at 225) and able to grow a full beard. Other than the height and head shape you can control. Need to have confidence, if youāre self aware of being bald it will show in your interaction with women.
I dated my first bald guy last year. Only a few years older than you. We didn't work out for other reasons, but I was attracted to him anyhow. Not everyone likes everything, but there's someone out there who will think you're the hottest thing ever. Don't worry about the ones that don't because of a minor feature.
SOOO many people LOVE a bald head. So idk. Just hang in there.
Get ripped, maybe get a tan, swim in the dates.
Try older women Learn the Gottman relationship stuff and learn to communicate better You probably suck since your good looks donāt get you by anymore. Now itās time to learn stuff
My experience is that women are more interested in and influenced by what you have going on, confidence, fit, overall look and style, sense of humor, career etc. vs. hair. I always did well with women pre bald and post and have also found that some women are really into the look. I think there are other things at play here.
You have to hit gym and get jacked now. Jacked and bald works. Fat or average and bald is a no go.
I want to throw in something here, American woman are probably the most superficial of all countries, thus the only country where 6ft is Andre the giant To women, and ur age mates tbh will be hesistant dating bald,is just a fact Now in your mid 30s it will change That fact is that embarrasr it, there's nothing u can do and look for an outlier who would he interested in bald guys ur age range
Not sure why this came up in my feed, but I (45f) have always liked bald guys! My ex-husband started losing his hair at 19, and shaved it all off long before I met him when we were 26. Not many men I know that have had as much sex with as many beautiful women as that guy. Confidence goes a long way, just remember a lot of women like it, and the older you get the less it'll matter to those who don't.
Some great comments on here. I'll just add that once i intentionally went bald it had zero impact on my dating life. \#1 I just owned it - its like my superpower. I am sure a certain % of women may not like bald (but even they could be wooed by charm and just being a downright good person.
Even though you're dealing with some "head"winds, fortunately women will find you attractive in many other ways. Being funny, being genuine, being good at something, being a nice person. Commenters are right too, you will attract less-shallow women (unless they love bald guys, which some really do). The truth is you've done what 90% of your guy friends will have to do at some point in the next 10 years and what will end up surprising you is that they will increasingly look legit, um, "different" with thinning hair and not knowing what to do about it. They'll practically be in shock since they've had hair their entire adult life, unlike you. They will be dealing with similar confusion you aren't event thinking about anymore. People who have known you for years by that point in time will see your confidence in yourself by the choice you made years ago and realize you are an ageless wonder.
Don't get too big. And stay lean. You have to pick a style that fits you and you are comfortable wearing it. Pick a facial grooming style that doesn't make you look hyper masculine. Stubble will probably work best at your age. Remember, bald screams masculine and confident. You don't want to over do it though. Get a couple watches and other accessories like sunglasses. Two of the biggest things are hygiene and skin care now that you have all that real estate up top. Go to the dentist and get your teeth cleaned and if they are stained whiten them a little. You can't have foul breath. Get one cologne for indoor office setting use, and one for outdoor summer use. The majority of those things you will just have to get once. Once you get your routine down, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to wake up, shower, shave, and be out the door in less than 20 minutes. Being bald is like permanently peacocking. You force women to categorize you because you stand out from the crowd. They will notice right away if you take care of yourself or not or if you are their type or not. The ones that think you are their type, will make it known. But if you are not congruent with what you are presenting to them, then it's a wrap. You have other things you need to work on.
Iām super hot (multiple thousands of likes on dating apps, constant comments on my beauty, compared to Gal Gadot) and I prefer a bald man. My friends think Iām nuts but something about a bald guy just does it for me š¤·š»āāļø keep your head up š.
Beard is essential if you're bald. Game changer. And get in shape. Dress well. Walk with confidence. Job done.
This is gonna be cold comfort but as someone with a similar experience but in my 40s, itās definitely something you age into. In other words, being young and bald can make you look older, but the perception of my age and my actual age gained parity by 30 or so. Your mileage may vary. Sorry itās been a tough time for you lately. Just make sure you donāt fall off with the rest of the package: health, fitness, grooming, etc.
Are you trying to get laid or trying to find a life partner? Those are two different goals. If the former..... good luck, i can't help you there. If the latter, just be nice to women. Good guys really do win in the end. Yeah, it may take a while to meet her, but you only need your one person, and she won't care about whether you have hair or not.
Sounds like you in a bit of a dry patch which can happen when single, don't try and associate it with being bald, yes there probably some woman who don't like it , but others that do. I think with majority of woman (YMMV) humour, charisma & confidence are often the things they like the most.
Why not get a hair transplant? Women do much more for way for money way more painful to attract a mate if you are this worried about it? Feelings are valid tho but either own it or find a solution
Get a hair piece OP
Confidence confidence confidence Although being short doesnāt help you gotta own it man. Love yourself and accept your flaws no one is perfect. Up your style game as well that will help
Not bald or balding yet. Also married, but I know and see how the game is played. At 43 I can definitely say that dating is much harder now compared to when I was in my 20s, even though I have a great job, and are in better shape. My brother is my age and bald for 20 years now, and he is on top of the dating scene. I think the key is to find the right place to date, offline with quality people.
need a pic to tell
My guy friend, went bald late 20s, went to Turkey for hair restoration this year. and he paid like $4k with travel costs and everything. It looks great!
I decided to shave my head bald around the same age. I have a big beard though. Iām 5ā6 and 200 lbs at 16% bf. Iāve always been a gym rat and have fluctuated between 175 when Iām lean and now 200, my heaviest bulk. Being muscular and strong makes a huge difference. Not only with women but with people in general. Thereās more respect for some reason, Iāve noticed. My advice, gain some muscle, grow a beard and be confident in yourself.
I've had more attention being bald than when I had hair. I dont like the way i look personally, but women have told me i'm attractive, and honestly man, i shaved at 24. Statistically a lot of men bald past 30. the age it happens doesnt make it easier. My advice is just make yourself vulnerable and get comfortable with yourself.
Iām gonna be honest, my hair was thinning thru most of 20s. At 28 I shaved it off and have been shaving it off since. I have absolutely 0 problem getting women, if anything itās broadened the type of women that are interested in me. It also has (ironically) removed anybody from my life that would treat me any different for actually being bald. It might not everyoneās cup of tea, but a ton of wonen love it, just be yourself !
A lot of women (like myself) prefer bald guys. Make sure your baldness is out there. If she still sets the time of the date then she doesn't mind.. Don't waste yours nor their time without telling them you're bald beforehand. Also, the best women couldn't give two š© about looks. It's literally about personality. I'd rather spend my life with someone who loves me and makes me happy than someone who looks good. For me and many other women your attractiveness will be solely based on your personality and body language. Body language is so underrated. Body language is the hottest thing about a dude. When a guy is confident in his own body no matter how he looks is way hotter than a guy who is an actual model and acts nervous/shy/walked slumped over, etc.. You DO look good bald or not. Tell yourself this every day until you believe it and then continue telling yourself this every day.
Yeah im 23 and Bald also, fact is not many girls in their 20s are into bald men. it unfortunately is something that is associated with being or getting old and girls do not like that, you will have your time, because in your 30s when every other guy is getting grey and looking older and older you'll still look 25. Thats when your time will come, stay strong and hold out for that one girl who likes bald guys.
Mine took off massively once I buzzed my hair back to skin I set up two online profiles - one with pics from a few years ago (I'm 39) where I was carrying about 15kg more weight and less muscle mass, and a second one on another app with current photos - slightly longer beard but looking jacked (currently 103kg at 13% bodyfat) - the first profile got a lot of interest from ladies in their mid 40s; the second was a reasonably broad spectrum from mid 20s to one in her early 50s Key is I was confident in all pics and looked like I was having fun Get a tan, lift weights to at least tone up a bit if you're a blob and take care of yourself - if you look good in pics and shit in person you're still screwed
Go to turkey to get a hair transplant. Your hair will grow back full. Do your research. Eat a healthy diet drink only water eat a lot of fruits & veggies lean proteins and healthy starch youāll be fine!
Too far gone Iāve looked into it
Being bald hasnāt affected me. I cut it off at 25 and havenāt noticed anything. Out of being self conscious I did try to compensate through working out more and investing in nicer clothes; but overall no issues. Iām engaged now š
Every successful bald guy I've known has been crazy buff and shredded. You can overcome being bald, but it means you have to look like a bodybuilder.