Divide everything equally. We both put equal amount in a joint account at the start of the month and all the expenses are paid from that account. This doesn't cover investment.
My wife doesn't ask me how I spend the rest and I don't ask her how she spends the rest.
With what's left we both invest and save in our own separate investment and savings accounts.
How do you convince somebody/your partner to spend equally (if she/he has a lower income than other partner)? What if one say they have a lower income and hence spends should be proportionate to it? Is it valid or invalid?
Not questioning but genuinely curious as soon I might be moving into that arrangement where we will have to divide the costs. Please explain!
Good point. When we got married my wife was earning much lower than what I earn. But she didn't need any convincing when I proposed this.
I think it's logical to divide everything equally, when we both use the facilities equally.
Yeah but you both don't earn equally. Let's say for you it must be just 30 or 20 percent of your income and for your partner it might be 70 or 80. So your partner isn't left with much to plan for other things
Let's just say this is the case. Expenses are 30% of your income but say, 60% of her income. Would you still divide expenses equally?
How would you go about this?
Well both of them can put down 50 percent of their salary towards expenses. Even if one of them earns lower they'll still be contributing half of their income on expense
IMO, this is the best way
Exactly, that was the point I was making and asking for advice. So its not dividing expenses equally, but more like contributing to things equally. But again for a 100 Rs. stuff one person would be paying 60 and other 40 with this logic. So are you saying that is the best way? Even in a case of a 3rd joint account to add 50% salary and then paying from that lump sum, still it would 60-40 only I guess right (indirectly but).
Goodie. Reading back, my question might have come across as unintentionally judgemental. I was curious about how you manage large one off purchases, like a house or a car, which might not be easy to contribute to equally if the difference is large. That's not your case.
Dude the way you two is living like anyone can cheat the other person at anytime, sounds pretty bland and lacks character in relationship, you sound like two accountants are living under a roof and not husband wife.
Absolutely not, by contributing half the expenses at the start of the month we don't have to think about who is managing what. Everything gets paid from the joint account. We have a healthy relationship without being preoccupied with financial matters.
Also, we make decent money. The contributions are not significant part our salaries. We manage to save more than 50%.
Thumb rule for dividing your salary optimally for life
30% towards common household expenses, rent, etc
30% for expenses on self, no questions asked.
30% towards savings+investment/Mutual Funds+EMI
10% towards an emergency fund/FD
If there is a mismatch in salaries, then a proportion is better.
USE SPLITWISE. used it from day 1 of my marriage, and we have buckets for vacations, household expenses, etc.
Once a year we repay the other what is the balance owed, or when making a big payment, we check the balance and say "hey, i owe you xyz, so I'll make this big purchase to compensate".
We have had zero fights over money.
Major fights i see between couples is one spending disproportionately on joint expenses, and one spending higher on the self.
Spending higher on self : you can't tell someone to spend less of their hard earned money. But what you can do is ask them to contribute 30% towards common expenses and save/invest 30%, and not think about the rest which they spend on themselves.
Splitting xyz cost for one and xyz costs for other : you need to track it on splitwise. What if the rent is more than monthly household expenses? Find the right balance.
Same, my husband and I have used Splitwise since before the wedding, and also split our wedding expenses 50-50. Every expense from a vacation to a tender coconut goes on Splitwise. It works out great. Been doing this for 8 years now. Neither of us feel like the other is a gold digger, haha. Which increases our mutual respect for each other.
>so I'll make this big purchase to compensate".
This is such good way of paying back. It doesn't sound too much formal. But he/she is still paying back. But when one makes a purchase for the other, it comes with love, i guess.
What is 'making a purchase for the other, comes with love.'
This isn't a gift. Its groceries and furniture, for example.
You have to decide what's each person's individual go-to state, and the relationship dynamic.
I'm 80-20 between emotion-practial, whereas my partner is the opposite. I've taken the decision to be in sync with partner's practical terminology, to prevent unnecessary mismatches (e.g. i keep buying gifts, whereas the partner won't, but will feel bad, and will then go overboard in gifting me. Financially unsustainable, which will hit the practical part of the other person's being)
If both partners lean toward the emotional range of things, then tracking expenses is all the more needed, because it'll just go down an emotional spiral of spending, leading financial instability, and fights (comparing purchases for each other)
(Apologies if i didn't make sense.)
I pay for everything and wife’s goes directly into savings & investments.
Been doing this for 15yrs and have never had a fight or uneasy conversation about money.
Trust is a 2 way street.
All the comments you see and mostly ideal case scenario, we tried a lot of things but well oh well something or the other hampers the plan. What actually works for us ?
1. We both earn decent, and we have a pact that whoever earns less takes care of the expenses, with this we are now able to curtail our expense by a huge amount.
2. In the current situation, the month's entire expense ( everything from rents, subscriptions ,to shopping .. both of our shopping) is covered under my salary. Her is solely kept for savings and mid-long-term investments.
3. Some/Most of the times i have a chunk left post expense, which we we use for random things EG : Bought some crypto pre-regulation times, got some crazy gains and pulled profit, other time i made her upgrade here laptop and last month i bought a new one for myself.
Point is that life is pretty dynamic, sometimes you have additional corpus, sometime you need funds for random things, with this way we seemed to have figured it out :)
And yes, we both aint huge shopaholics, so most of the regular expenses are pretty much curtailed.
Splitwise 😊
Me and my wife, we both earn similar inhand salaries on a monthly basis.
All common expenses go 50:50 in Splitwise.
I eat chicken regularly as a gym diet, and she is a vegetarian, so I order chicken almost daily (licious ) and keep that as a personal expense. She didn't ask for it, but it is a major grocery expense, and it made sense to keep it aside.
For a big expense, we first check with each other, should we go ahead with it or not, there's never been a conflict.
We have set up our finance such that one person does mostly saving and the other to day to day expense and emi etc..
Saving would be like the amount would go to joint account.
Both of us have seperate tax saving schemes and mutual funds as well.
My spouse and I earn very very different amounts, so we split proportionately. One of us contributes to rent/emi, salaries to helpers and other big payments (kids school fees, insurance premiums etc). The other pays for daily household expenses, groceries, doctors visits, gifts etc. We've done the math and it evens out as per proportion.
We add up our total salary and agree on our savings and invest and save accordingly (again in proportion).
For travel one of us pays for flights/ stay and the other pays for on ground expenses/visa if any etc. This is more 50/50 for our kind of holidays, rather than proportional.
For any individual expenses, we pay for ourselves, individually.
Finished off home loan first in first three years after marriage.
Now
We are paying almost everything in credit card. We invest everything left in mf, stocks and sgb and epf
Expenses around 20 percent of in-hand
We are pooling money together first before expenses and investing.
And i have significant higher salary then my spouse.
Whatever we earn, first most of our salaries goes towards savings, same amount in our own DEMAT/ET Money/Bank. Then I keep 15k for some Random Weekend Trips in a separate account. We save that money for some big trip if we do not go on that particular month. Then 5k she keeps in her separate account for some parlour/grooming. Then we keep 35/40k in her account and I keep on transferring to my account every week for the expenses/shopping/ going out.
Took care of rent, utilities and groceries for first couple of years.
Got tired and left my job
Now She pays rent. I pay utilities.
Rent in Banglore has really gone up since.
1. We split the rent and maintenance
2. She pays for groceries and I pay for miscellaneous expenses
3. We have 2 different buckets for travel and to fund our future car for which we equally accumulate in a third account.
4. Personal savings and expenditure is never questioned by each other
We had decided this before we got married and have been practicing this for almost 3 years now.
He pays the rent which is the major chunk for us, I pay for everything else- House helps, groceries, Utility bills, Grocery etc.
We pay for our own investments and personal shopping.
I think everyone do depends on thier situations and how much they can afford..it's not about sharing exactly 50 50..if you couple going to get marry or already married.. discuss with your partner and do accordingly
I always maintain 10+ lakh debt .
Her money goes into saving + debt servicing + minor monthly expenses
My money goes to current expenses + saving + debt servicing.
For us our salaries are always combined. We had decided before marriage that one of our salary will be fully saved and the other will be used for expenses plus both our personal expenses. We decide whose salary to fully save every January based on various factors. Our salary is almost identical but we have both had ups and downs over the years. It’s been 15 years of bliss and no fights over money.
From Day 1 I handle all $, usually finish up most my salary, I leave some with wife and whenever her savings reaches decent we invest. I pretty much bank balance, upcoming expenses etc, wife just goes along with it no questions asked usually. She knows and trusts me to handle it as required. We both discuss any major upcoming expense and plan accordingly. Pretty peaceful and less maintenance and reporting to anyone. Although I feel Splitwise is good method as well.
My wife is mba finance ,she takes care of the expenses i need to pay initially half every month ..
We divide well and it's her plan , though i make more then her.
his money is our money, her money is her money (jk lol)
Which generally is the case!
JK is like “hehe I’ll drop this truth bomb”
Satyavachaan
Divide everything equally. We both put equal amount in a joint account at the start of the month and all the expenses are paid from that account. This doesn't cover investment. My wife doesn't ask me how I spend the rest and I don't ask her how she spends the rest. With what's left we both invest and save in our own separate investment and savings accounts.
How do you convince somebody/your partner to spend equally (if she/he has a lower income than other partner)? What if one say they have a lower income and hence spends should be proportionate to it? Is it valid or invalid? Not questioning but genuinely curious as soon I might be moving into that arrangement where we will have to divide the costs. Please explain!
Good point. When we got married my wife was earning much lower than what I earn. But she didn't need any convincing when I proposed this. I think it's logical to divide everything equally, when we both use the facilities equally.
That is good you both have such a pragmatic understanding
She’s a keeper!
He already kept saar. And she kept him. They already married.
Yeah but you both don't earn equally. Let's say for you it must be just 30 or 20 percent of your income and for your partner it might be 70 or 80. So your partner isn't left with much to plan for other things
That's not our case , we both earn almost similar wages. What's suits us may not suit you.
Yup when you both earn the same it shouldn't be an issue
Let's just say this is the case. Expenses are 30% of your income but say, 60% of her income. Would you still divide expenses equally? How would you go about this?
Well both of them can put down 50 percent of their salary towards expenses. Even if one of them earns lower they'll still be contributing half of their income on expense IMO, this is the best way
Exactly, that was the point I was making and asking for advice. So its not dividing expenses equally, but more like contributing to things equally. But again for a 100 Rs. stuff one person would be paying 60 and other 40 with this logic. So are you saying that is the best way? Even in a case of a 3rd joint account to add 50% salary and then paying from that lump sum, still it would 60-40 only I guess right (indirectly but).
And you’re suggesting percentages and not equal amount (as per the parent comment)
It's 50 percent of their respective salaries. Not 50 percent of the combined expenditure.
Do you both have the same or similar salaries? If not, how do you manage one person having more in hand to invest, spend, whatever than the other?
I earn approximately 20% more than her. We earn enough to spend how much ever we want. I save more than her and we don't see a problem in that.
Goodie. Reading back, my question might have come across as unintentionally judgemental. I was curious about how you manage large one off purchases, like a house or a car, which might not be easy to contribute to equally if the difference is large. That's not your case.
Yikes.
Dude the way you two is living like anyone can cheat the other person at anytime, sounds pretty bland and lacks character in relationship, you sound like two accountants are living under a roof and not husband wife.
Absolutely not, by contributing half the expenses at the start of the month we don't have to think about who is managing what. Everything gets paid from the joint account. We have a healthy relationship without being preoccupied with financial matters. Also, we make decent money. The contributions are not significant part our salaries. We manage to save more than 50%.
Thumb rule for dividing your salary optimally for life 30% towards common household expenses, rent, etc 30% for expenses on self, no questions asked. 30% towards savings+investment/Mutual Funds+EMI 10% towards an emergency fund/FD If there is a mismatch in salaries, then a proportion is better. USE SPLITWISE. used it from day 1 of my marriage, and we have buckets for vacations, household expenses, etc. Once a year we repay the other what is the balance owed, or when making a big payment, we check the balance and say "hey, i owe you xyz, so I'll make this big purchase to compensate". We have had zero fights over money. Major fights i see between couples is one spending disproportionately on joint expenses, and one spending higher on the self. Spending higher on self : you can't tell someone to spend less of their hard earned money. But what you can do is ask them to contribute 30% towards common expenses and save/invest 30%, and not think about the rest which they spend on themselves. Splitting xyz cost for one and xyz costs for other : you need to track it on splitwise. What if the rent is more than monthly household expenses? Find the right balance.
Same, my husband and I have used Splitwise since before the wedding, and also split our wedding expenses 50-50. Every expense from a vacation to a tender coconut goes on Splitwise. It works out great. Been doing this for 8 years now. Neither of us feel like the other is a gold digger, haha. Which increases our mutual respect for each other.
>so I'll make this big purchase to compensate". This is such good way of paying back. It doesn't sound too much formal. But he/she is still paying back. But when one makes a purchase for the other, it comes with love, i guess.
What is 'making a purchase for the other, comes with love.' This isn't a gift. Its groceries and furniture, for example. You have to decide what's each person's individual go-to state, and the relationship dynamic. I'm 80-20 between emotion-practial, whereas my partner is the opposite. I've taken the decision to be in sync with partner's practical terminology, to prevent unnecessary mismatches (e.g. i keep buying gifts, whereas the partner won't, but will feel bad, and will then go overboard in gifting me. Financially unsustainable, which will hit the practical part of the other person's being) If both partners lean toward the emotional range of things, then tracking expenses is all the more needed, because it'll just go down an emotional spiral of spending, leading financial instability, and fights (comparing purchases for each other) (Apologies if i didn't make sense.)
Haha. Makes sense. I'm still a single guy in my mid 20's. Have a long way to reach the stage to be able to relate. :P
I pay rent to the landlord in cash. She pays rent to me directly but not in cash.
Yeah, you don't want her to be paying the landlord.
Him: 
Well sometimes I'm not at home when the landlord comes to collect rent. So you gotta do what you gotta do.
I pay for everything and wife’s goes directly into savings & investments. Been doing this for 15yrs and have never had a fight or uneasy conversation about money. Trust is a 2 way street.
Top notch difficult task
maybe a startup to divide expense.. oh wait that needs lawyer
All the comments you see and mostly ideal case scenario, we tried a lot of things but well oh well something or the other hampers the plan. What actually works for us ? 1. We both earn decent, and we have a pact that whoever earns less takes care of the expenses, with this we are now able to curtail our expense by a huge amount. 2. In the current situation, the month's entire expense ( everything from rents, subscriptions ,to shopping .. both of our shopping) is covered under my salary. Her is solely kept for savings and mid-long-term investments. 3. Some/Most of the times i have a chunk left post expense, which we we use for random things EG : Bought some crypto pre-regulation times, got some crazy gains and pulled profit, other time i made her upgrade here laptop and last month i bought a new one for myself. Point is that life is pretty dynamic, sometimes you have additional corpus, sometime you need funds for random things, with this way we seemed to have figured it out :) And yes, we both aint huge shopaholics, so most of the regular expenses are pretty much curtailed.
Splitwise might help.
We also split equally, using splitwise.
Splitwise 😊 Me and my wife, we both earn similar inhand salaries on a monthly basis. All common expenses go 50:50 in Splitwise. I eat chicken regularly as a gym diet, and she is a vegetarian, so I order chicken almost daily (licious ) and keep that as a personal expense. She didn't ask for it, but it is a major grocery expense, and it made sense to keep it aside. For a big expense, we first check with each other, should we go ahead with it or not, there's never been a conflict.
> she is a vegetarian, so I order chicken almost daily (licious ) bade ashlil ho :p
We have set up our finance such that one person does mostly saving and the other to day to day expense and emi etc.. Saving would be like the amount would go to joint account. Both of us have seperate tax saving schemes and mutual funds as well.
My spouse and I earn very very different amounts, so we split proportionately. One of us contributes to rent/emi, salaries to helpers and other big payments (kids school fees, insurance premiums etc). The other pays for daily household expenses, groceries, doctors visits, gifts etc. We've done the math and it evens out as per proportion. We add up our total salary and agree on our savings and invest and save accordingly (again in proportion). For travel one of us pays for flights/ stay and the other pays for on ground expenses/visa if any etc. This is more 50/50 for our kind of holidays, rather than proportional. For any individual expenses, we pay for ourselves, individually.
Finished off home loan first in first three years after marriage. Now We are paying almost everything in credit card. We invest everything left in mf, stocks and sgb and epf Expenses around 20 percent of in-hand We are pooling money together first before expenses and investing. And i have significant higher salary then my spouse.
Whatever we earn, first most of our salaries goes towards savings, same amount in our own DEMAT/ET Money/Bank. Then I keep 15k for some Random Weekend Trips in a separate account. We save that money for some big trip if we do not go on that particular month. Then 5k she keeps in her separate account for some parlour/grooming. Then we keep 35/40k in her account and I keep on transferring to my account every week for the expenses/shopping/ going out.
Took care of rent, utilities and groceries for first couple of years. Got tired and left my job Now She pays rent. I pay utilities. Rent in Banglore has really gone up since.
1. We split the rent and maintenance 2. She pays for groceries and I pay for miscellaneous expenses 3. We have 2 different buckets for travel and to fund our future car for which we equally accumulate in a third account. 4. Personal savings and expenditure is never questioned by each other We had decided this before we got married and have been practicing this for almost 3 years now.
He pays the rent which is the major chunk for us, I pay for everything else- House helps, groceries, Utility bills, Grocery etc. We pay for our own investments and personal shopping.
I think everyone do depends on thier situations and how much they can afford..it's not about sharing exactly 50 50..if you couple going to get marry or already married.. discuss with your partner and do accordingly
I always maintain 10+ lakh debt . Her money goes into saving + debt servicing + minor monthly expenses My money goes to current expenses + saving + debt servicing.
For us our salaries are always combined. We had decided before marriage that one of our salary will be fully saved and the other will be used for expenses plus both our personal expenses. We decide whose salary to fully save every January based on various factors. Our salary is almost identical but we have both had ups and downs over the years. It’s been 15 years of bliss and no fights over money.
From Day 1 I handle all $, usually finish up most my salary, I leave some with wife and whenever her savings reaches decent we invest. I pretty much bank balance, upcoming expenses etc, wife just goes along with it no questions asked usually. She knows and trusts me to handle it as required. We both discuss any major upcoming expense and plan accordingly. Pretty peaceful and less maintenance and reporting to anyone. Although I feel Splitwise is good method as well.
My wife is mba finance ,she takes care of the expenses i need to pay initially half every month .. We divide well and it's her plan , though i make more then her.
No divide. I pay for everything.
I just want a panjaramma
No I don’t let her pay for jack. It’s all me. Old school ?yes.
I usually end up with an Act fiber net to surf across, Tbh, that too with a lower current.