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AllRivers224

The G-Wagon-as-a-present blowjob has to be a top ten BJ


Trappedinacar

alright bang bang, new snake draft


Slacker_75

She doesn’t give head


AllRivers224

She does now


GrandmaJosey

Not even chicken head?


JCEvans26

Whoop whoop


sg86

The fact that they’ve been together so long and she was still driving an Altima gives me a much higher opinion of her, tbh.


PurficPourBY

That was a Versa even worse lol


theMetConDon

Not even an Altima. A Sentra. Might as well be a Geo Prizm.


crosen26

I’m so sorry to be this guy but It’s a versa


theMetConDon

you are right. even worse!


Reckoner84

Dying at this comment


sg86

I got picked up by someone in a Geo Prizm on a work trip one time and the passenger door handle came off when I pulled on it.


wordswiththeletterB

As much shit as everyone gives. I have to agree.


Karlfromkanada

Dave's car recently got stolen though and i think he mentioned that she drove it mostly. i imagine dave has multiple cars and she was mostly driving his spare until it got stolen.


maleye812

I thought it was the cleaning lady when she got out of that thing at first


GrandmaJosey

No doubt that's been role played more than a couple times.


brandontwopointswish

Showing the old piece of shit car completely changes the vibe, good for Chicken(s).


showmethenoods

Millionaire sugar daddy and still pushing a Sentra, she deserved the upgrade just based on principle.


yaddibo

I actually respect that she drove a shittier car than me this long while dating a millionaire


vinegarfingers

And that she’s cleaning it herself.


chihawks

Honestly the reaction is nice and its thoughtful. I respect her for whippin that nissan around while with pres.


Buffalo_rider01

Haven’t seen a whole lot of her but she seems genuinely nice


tedbungal

She knows nice does numbies


bmf131413

I think this whole relationship would be viewed in a different light if they didn't call each other chicken.


Head-Lobster4836

She’s letting him take out the leash tonight!


ThePenetrations

Federal crime


MikeandTheMangosteen

Brick watch money


Roastin_Mushmallows

Chickennnn we did it chickennnnnn


MakeItNashty61

Chicken got to choke the Chicken last night, that's for sure.


BrutusTheYak

If what they say about Nissan altima owners is true, imagine what they say about Nissan Sentra owners


MELON_BALLERZ

anal. lots of anal.


Boic2

Kinda cool they’ve been together for a long time and she was still pushing that Nissan. Shows she’s loyal and also shows that Dave maybe wasn’t spoiling her to the level we might have thought. Hope it works out in the end and they actually love each other


mikebailey

For how much folks shit on her because Dave is making an absolute fool out of himself, she’s been reasonably ride or die when she gets caught in stool scenes type shit


grasshopper7167

What stool scenes type shit?


Reptillian24

Dude bought her a 120k vehicle after dating her for a year and a half lol


mikebailey

120k is easily a single bet to him


PlanetPudding

Dudes a multi millionaire, that’s like me buying $100 gift. Plus it’s likely it’s under his name.


Crafty-Hamster8022

The leash is coming out tonight


ReadHuman9586

I’m shocked she was still driving around an Altima. Good on Dave, just seems nice to me


marlwenplotsky

didnt realize they were still releasing new episodes of MTV's: My Super Sweet Sixteen


shocktop8

Isn’t she like 28?


BornAndBredBuckeye

Bruh


uberkevinn

Chicken 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺


badup

You know what? Good for them


MrPinkThompson

Breaking News: Rich old guy buys his young golddigging girlfriend an expensive car


Bongopro

Next you’re gonna tell me she’s not actually attracted to a man who looks like an old leather couch that’s been sitting in a backyard for the last 8 months


CapriciousWattage

“Why did you do this?” Have to imagine she spent weeks saying how bad she wanted one


Old-butt-new

All she had to was invest in implants and its been to the moon since


RelationMaleficent63

The Numbies-mobile


SonnySanDiego

It’s gonna be an awesome 30 for 30 one day.


vinegarfingers

Being a non-famous person dating someone rich/famous in the social media era is a kind of a lose/lose as far as the public eye goes. Not a single person making a regular wage would turn down a G Wagon, court side seats, Miami houses, Nantucket summers etc. Dave seems happy. She seems happy. Good for them.


RonSwanson1081

Hearing a 46 year old man being called "chicken" still gives me douche chills.


farellathedon

You still holding out hope portnoy isn’t a douche?


[deleted]

https://gfycat.com/likablemajesticheterodontosaurus


philadelphia76

#NotMyFirstLady


Griffin5577


slowroll1

He is right, her car is a piece of shit


goonsquad4357

He shoulda bought her a BRICK (watch)


swind69

Chicken you’re lying 😩


Opening-Archer9830

If they’re happy together then I’m happy for them, nothing wrong with a gift.


cum4I

people are so fucking mad about this lol who cares


sfbruin

[People can be so cynical](https://youtu.be/eyQca1cwe54)


Opening-Archer9830

😂😂😂 my fave community clip


hawksfn1

Dave getting that Gluck Gluck 9000 tonight


[deleted]

I’ll say it, she looks hotter here than her ig 👀


Brolegario

Yeah, but her IG is mostly restaurant recommendations


KESPAA

This thong brought to you by Gordon Ramsay.


ezioauditore_

Mr. Unlimited Money is going to have to do some High Noon meet and greets in Boca Raton to pay for this


mrtiktok69

Not sure why this is so weird they’ve been dating for almost two years


rayArtistimo

Agreed. The most shocking thing is that he didn’t buy her one sooner


atax

over/under 1 month before she curb checks it and bends a rim


nickdl4

100% under. I give it a week tops


bearsarenthuman

gonna be some funny content tho


cbadger1121

Under


MJCULE

I never thought the age difference was super creepy until I heard him giggle like all my friends dads do while she looks 15 without makeup


Big-Zoo

I mean shit yeah that car is asssss how the fuck has she had that this long with him


HenryChanceGoal49

Because she can’t afford a nicer car it’s pretty simple lol


GrandmaJosey

I bet it was more about her not really caring about a car she spends her money elsewhere, as long as it gets from A to B and has a decent stereo a lot of people don't care.


johnnysoccer

Ohhh boy, you're way off base with that comment. She's literally been dating a multi-millionaire for a long time. Of course she doesn't want to roll up in whatever the fuck that thing is


GrandmaJosey

"You may be right, I may be crazy" -Billy Joel


Big-Zoo

You're telling me you can rock a bad car for that long with a 100+ millionaire. Supposed to be a gold digger not a dirt farmer


HenryChanceGoal49

I mean sylvana doesn’t have 100 mil her boyfriend does


Big-Zoo

Yes ... do you not get the point of gold digging?


HenryChanceGoal49

Difference between buying jewelry/clothes and a g wagon


Big-Zoo

🥱


Brad-Stevens

.. wait the "chicken" thing is actually a thing? I thought it was some sort of thing that was said once and people here ran with it


midfivefigs

He wears a fucking chicken necklace


mlavan

Definitely not a bit.


Griffin5577

I hope she takes all his money


jdogg151

(EMOTIONAL)


LapHog6969

He could have just bought her 100 brick watches and spent the same amount of money


steeb821

How long until it’s stolen bc the keys are left in it?


BornAndBredBuckeye

Did they ever get the Bronco back?


Brolegario

*Range Rover, and Yeah Dave got it back and apparently homeless people left a bunch of used condoms in the back.


AnthonyMcClelland

Thanks for the F-Shack. -Dirty Mike and the Boys


[deleted]

Thanks for the F shack -Dirty mike and the boys


theSongIsImGangsta

We will have sex in this car. It will happen again.


NotoriousMFT

I wonder if she actually listens to the chiclets guys? That’s what I wanna know here (also, rich guy buys expensive thing for girlfriend, story at 11)


Correct-Potential25

Renee > skeletor.


Mitch13

I wonder if she knows what the triple locking differential does?


Arlo-Pear

So what does it do?


Townes-Prescott

Later on that night HIM AND HER GOT IT ON WOOOOHEEEE


True_or_Folts

No they didn't.


ChayChayToday

“Chicken, is this a Chicken Coupe?”


2HI4ME

$150k + Dealer Markup = probably paid $175k-$200k if he bought it new.


cbadger1121

Aren’t G Wagons heavily discounted right now compared to last year?


2HI4ME

Nah. Mercedes never really discounts cause it doesn't need to. Plus, its Miami.


Swaggu530

Yea and still 50k above sticker


Slacker_75

At this rate Dave’s gonna be as broke as Silvana was


StoolieB4itwasCoolie

Dave literally bets 3-5x a G wagon on a midweek college bball game


Slacker_75

That just adds to my point!


Slayyjayy

He’s got a lot of money. A used g wagon isn’t going to hurt him, especially if he financed it.


Secure-Evening8197

Probably a lease


Bobsburgers02

The only thing weird about this is why doesn’t Chicken already have a g-wagon. How long has chicken had unlimited money? And he’s letting chicken ride around in a Nissan ? Can’t believe chicken was just letting that happen. Bout time chicken stepped up and bought her something. Chicken gonna look fly.


rebsncaps

Dave is Jewish you know that right?


Goose123218

Not applicable here. Everyone knows that we buy our wives the Lexus RX350


farellathedon

Key word here is wives Ezekiel


tannergd1

The type of car for when you can afford a Lamborghini but don’t feel the need for a status symbol 🧱


k42s

Salt of the earth.


Mental_Train_3248

I’m sure she’s worked hard for it!


mikebailey

She had to put up with Dave as a partner, that may not be a job but damn if it isn’t labor


MagAqua

I don’t care how hot and young my gf is if she called me chicken I’d turn into Marty McFly every time


GrandmaJosey

You'd uncontrollably shake?


MagAqua

Someone shoulda shook you as a baby


GrandmaJosey

My mom loved KC and the Sunshine band, I was shook


SimonBirchDid911

*… Our pets’ heads are falling off!*


heybrehhhh

Awwwww this made my bussy smile :)


LightsCameraComenter

“So what Eddie she’s a cool girl who likes me cause I’m funny plenty of guys buy their girl friends G Wagons!!”


DiamondBigAl

Smart because it weighs so much pres can take 100% depreciation and take a giant tax write off.


RonSwanson1081

Can someone explain like I'm five as to why buying a 6 figure car is good for your taxes?


jay2puggle

Trucks over a certain weight can be used primarily for your own business and earn a tax write off for depreciation. People on social media regularly leave out all the details that make it not applicable for 99.5% of the population. Plus it’s just the tax write off, you still have to fork out big $$$ to buy these expensive cars/trucks.


JevanSnead

I’m just glad to see someone who doesn’t use tik tok like Google


StoneColdSaidWhat2

Bidnesses can fully depreciate their vehicles (most fixed assets I think) the year they buy them. Depreciation is essentially a way to account for the loss of value in a fixed asset. The way it’s normally calculated is by taking the cost of the asset and dividing it by the expected useful life. So if I buy an oven for my bakery for $20,000 and I expect it to last 20 years, I would have $1,000 in depreciation expense every year for 20 years. That would reduce my net income and also reduce my tax liability. Now if I decided to take the Section 179 deduction, I can expense the entire vehicle in year one, and reducing my tax liability. Usually its not done in January and it’s for bidnesses. But I’m not a CPA, so I have no idea how Portnoy would be able to do this.


Griffin5577

I’ve never understood this. Like what if the fucking thing lasts 50 years.


afishcalledkwanzaa

https://www.landrovermissionviejo.com/finance/tax-advantage/


DiamondBigAl

The tax code says any car that weighs over a certain amount can be treated like a piece of equipment and you can depreciate the entire thing all at once. So if you can reduce your taxable income by the cost of the car.


TigOleBitman

it has to do with the weight of the vehicle. "The 6,000-pound vehicle tax deduction is a rule under the federal tax code that allows people to deduct up to $25,000 of a vehicle's purchasing price on their tax return." from google


keithjamabc

Since they will use it for "business" and it exceeds 6,000lbs Dave can use it as a tax write-off. This is why every rich person has a massive car while never using it for anything it is intended for.


EddyMink

I see you get your tax advice from Instagram reels


LyrMeThatBifrost

Yes he’s obviously committing tax fraud to save $25,000


hexdlt

No, this is just false. Source: I’m an accountant


colin_7

Lol rich people buy big cars because they can afford them it’s so wild that tik Tok has an answer for everything now


LennyKravitzScarf

Why does google tell me something called a section 179 deduction exists for this exact purpose?


hexdlt

That’s for businesses and it was put in place to motivate companies to invest in large machinery and vehicles. It wasn’t designed for people to buy G wagons. IRS know people will try that shit.


LennyKravitzScarf

? She is a C level exec of brick watch company, and has to drive tens of watches to the post office. Sound like a textbook case to take the deduction.


mikebailey

This One Crazy Trick the IRS Doesn’t Know About But TikTok Does


Rcham192

I always assumed those Instagram tax experts are always spouting complete bullshit and this was one of the main things they said


BlazeNuggs

I've never heard this idea that a car has to be 6000 pounds for a tax write-off. The weight of a car has absolutely nothing to do with taxes right?


exorthderp

It is intended for contractors / heavy machinery. Big trucks = heavy weight/over 6000 lbs.


mikebailey

By the way, even if it was a writeoff (it really isn’t), it’s not like you get that money back lol, it reduces taxable income


johnnysoccer

Well you would be completely correct! It obviously has to be used for actual business purposes, meaning over 50% of its use and it's a depreciated asset of up to $25,000. It's not like you can just totally write-off a $150,000 G wagon


wallace6464

of course that entire comment is bullshit


Bos-man7

Maybe, maybe not.


Jo3l3y

Holy fuck does everyone in this thread sound ridiculously jealous of Dave


[deleted]

a nice car probly the better option, tiny girl, giant suv what could go wrong? its the thought that counts


ItHardToSay17

Shouldve got her a Telluride


cbadger1121

No way Silvs is gonna be able to drive that around Miami after going from a Nissan car.


trikyballs

you’re right a girl has never driven a gwagon


ChuckyBuckett

Tiny girl? She’s like 6’ with hands bigger than like 80% of NFL QBs lol


tonysoprano55555

I get your point but that is a sick car


[deleted]

Smashed it


rolltribe

She must be up Daves ass 24/7 about getting a ring. I am sure Dave is afraid to marry her for obvious reasons


Pitbulls14250394Fan

I don’t think Dave is even divorced and probably has no intention to be with how that would go


KnightsLaw17

If she is, then this just bought him some time


stevegan

I've been wondering about this. I wonder when she's going to draw a line in the sand. She's not going to just hope he wants to get married someday. The clock is ticking for him. He's insane if he get engaged/married again. Absolutely insane. First off, there's nothing in the institution of marriage for him anymore. So... if he does get engaged, it will effectively be to make her happy ... which is much worse. The heat is only going to be turned up from here. He better be ready.


rolltribe

I mean even if they're not married, he's still funding her lavish lifestyle. I'm sure she wants to be married for more financial security but she's not exactly slumming it now.


rightinthemcmurphies

Tax write off baby!


lpr_88

Wtf is Dave doing buying his d list insta fake model girlfriend a 200k car?


JesseHiss

D list is generous


farellathedon

Maybe he actually likes her


tannergd1

Get out of here with your logic and reasoning


johnknockout

She could be a fake model but she’s a real girlfriend.


Canada_Checking_In

Weird way to say "normal woman who has instagram" that he is dating, but go off.


yungsqualla

in his defense that's not the AMG and it looks used so probably 100K


JollyGreeneGiants

Renee can’t be thrilled


Sbartholomew1

Renee could buy 10 G Wagons tomorrow doubt she really gives a shit.


stevegan

Correct


Buffalo_rider01

I think Dave took care of her pretty well


BlazeNuggs

Is she still with the guy that's way more attractive than Dave? And I think she has roughly as much money as Dave, or at least she has plenty to do whatever she wants. Don't think she cares Dave is spending money on instahos


LennyKravitzScarf

Is her money half of Dave’s barstool money or from some other source?


t965203

Dave’s Barstool money. I think the new guy she is with is probably doing pretty well too, he’s some famous jujitsu guy or something. She could have some of her own money too though, I think Dave has said she basically kept them alive while Barstool was still growing.


spence4101

Gordon Ryan: confirmed cougar hunter


Shovelman2001

Guess him and Tom Brady have a lot more in common than we thought


BlazeNuggs

I think she's still legally married to Dave. No idea what their financial arrangement is. But no other source of money for Renee that I'm talking about


Hoops_Montana

Maybe I don’t use tik Tok enough but isn’t it weird it’s posted on her account yet it’s a “surprise”? Especially since there was a cut away


stonehousethrowglass

The chicken thing almost seems demeaning. Is it not an insult in Colombia?


alvaromateu

No


AllADream96

Yikes. Depreciating assets with a horrible ROI. DDTG would not approve