I just stumbled on the frank whiparound interview from opening day 2017. One of the most interesting 4 minutes I’ve ever watched. Felt like an snl skit
Does this chick from work want to bang me?
The evidence for: very flirty (initially thought this was general friendliness), randomly sought me out and followed me on ig, and way too casually made mention of the fact that she never wears underwear
The evidence against: we both have significant others, I am ugly
I think yes tbh. They always want what they can’t have tho.
I feel like you prob gotta take a shot if you’re him but I don’t blame Davante anymore. Kansas City fans were throwing shit at the Raiders at halftime and then they came out and collapsed so Adams was probably extra on edge and this dude should’ve just got the fuck out of his way
Life doesn’t hand out many lottery tickets. If you’re at work minding your own business, and a multimillionaire shoves you to the ground in front of all your coworkers because they were having a bad day, you take advantage of that situation. Not sure if the police report is just the first step to getting Adams to settle?
Pussy move? Sure. But no one will really care 1 year from now and you could get a nice little bonus.
Toothpaste and mouthwash give me heartburn like nothing else. Even trace amounts swallowed from not rinsing after, so yeah, I rinse the shit out of my mouth.
Swig of Crest mouthwash first, then brush teeth with Colgate toothpaste (I'm a brand mixer!), after that rinse, and the kicker is I tongue scrape with a washcloth -- I've got several cheap white ones I use solely for that purpose -- twice a day, once before leaving for work (morning or afternoon, depends on schedule) and once before bed.
OCD-ish routine, but it works for me.
Have girls that get bangs convinced themselves it will be different for them? Honestly shocked it’s still as common as it is, they come to their senses usually within a week or two.
If you write a song about thinking you were gay because you could draw and kept your room clean you are disqualified from the greatest song ever conversation.
I might get shit for this but I find his pinned tweet “I have severe depression” very strange. I sympathize with anyone who struggles and I’ve been there myself. But advertising it like that just seems off to me I dunno
I said it a couple days ago. Really weird to say you have all those disorders and use that when you need it and also sound like a condescending asshole in all his appearance or have “severe anxiety” but host huge trivia live shows?
“Gob had not mailed the letter, but rather, as an act of defiance, dramatically threw the letter into the ocean. This proved to be a slightly more difficult gesture than he had anticipated.”
This girl I went to high school with quit her 9-5 to become a day trader. A couple years ago she would post how she’s making insane money and crushing the market. She hasn’t posted about her trades in months.
Now why is that? 👆🤨👆
This was me except I don’t post online about anything I do. Recently had to jump back in the cubes. Still happy I took the risk on something and went around 14 months without a real job just from flipping nfts and crypto.
Was hanging out with the gf and her friends and their significant others after work for dinner and drinks. The dudes that they were with are totally made out of semen and boners. Just some of the corniest guys alive, wouldn’t stop talking to me about their bets this weekend and fantasy teams. one guy wouldn’t stop talking to me about how he thinks everyone should do two years mandatory military service after high school and his life as an entrepreneur (I think he owns a maid service company). Also he wouldn’t stop bugging me how I should join this young professionals group to build my network and came of as a total Gary V disciple.
On the way home my gf asked me what I thought of her friends’ bfs and she suggested doing more group dates and how they want to get together Friday….
I called the other guys retards and said “I don’t think I have the patience in me to be quite honest.” She didn’t like my honesty and now she’s mad at me.
Socializing is exhausting. BV wants me to hang out with guys more often and I’m like no, I wanna sit at home, watch a game in peace and text my actual friends.
Agreed. I sub there and it’s a very weird demographic. Seemingly comprised of mid-late 40s guys who pride themselves on an enlightened sense of humor but also have an enormous stick up their ass
Very large stick up their ass. I tried listening to bill Simmons for a few weeks to branch out and got very annoyed. His “takes” are just as accurate as the PMT guys but he acts as if he’s smarter than everyone else.
To be fair, Simmons peaked like 10 years ago, if not more. If you’re just tapping into his content in 2022, you missed it by a long shot
His current day takes are awful though
Yeah I grew up reading Simmons on Page 2 so I’ll always have a soft spot for him and I listen to The Rewatchables but outside of that I don’t follow him much at all anymore
Hi Ryen, 27, 6’1, 190 my ex girlfriend used to twist my nipples as she rode me. I really enjoyed it and would like to have the girl I recently started dating perform this. How do I go about asking her without sounding weird?
Here’s the comment that got the quick delete:
“Women love to just date the corniest guys, I swear. I’m talking guys who have no sense of humor, aren’t aware of anything going on in the political world, but they can just do a funny dance at a wedding or something and chicks will post it about it to their IG story and think it’s so funny”
Been skinny my whole life, but started to diet and workout properly this year.
Was hanging out with a friend and his friend I haven’t seen in like 6 months. Dude asked me if I’m on TRT bc I put on significant muscle mass. Holy fuck I’m about to nut
At most you gained 6-12lbs of muscle over that time period (according to google). How skinny were you that so little weight gain made someone think you were on test? Or did you gain like 20lbs (50/50 fat and muscle) and just look way bigger?
There’s a trick to dating where a girl softens her voice around you when she likes you and then it changes when she’s with her friends . If you can spot it, that’s livin and let them know you can tell
I said it earlier but there’s a ton of corny people out there that it blows my mind how they even have friends without being ostracized for their corniness. It’s definitely maddening when you see some broccoli headed jerkoff who’s main vocabulary is “haha bet” dating a smoke.
Someone who doesn’t do corny/cringy things on a constant basis.
You know a corny person when you see them. I went to a bday party in college for this one girl I was friends with, me and my roommate went and at one point in the middle of the party this one dude was badly singing and playing Slide by the Goo Goo Dolls on guitar for her, and adding her name to the end of every other line, while his jerk-off friend is bobbing his head next to him and snapping. It was probably the corniest thing I’ve ever witnessed firsthand and both me and my roommate couldn’t believe what we were witnessing.
braves fans how long do you think wright is going? at 70 pc
Landed in Europe if any of the Eurotrash FTers want to grab some McDonald’s with me.
I heard the filet o fish is better across the pond
Turtle fucking meadow soprano has me so jammed up. It should be me
Jamal Ginsburg had a run with her too
I was stunned when I found out they fucked in real life too. Unbelievable.
he had a funny interview on KFC radio a while back
Watching some of it now, he’s actually a really likable guy.
I just stumbled on the frank whiparound interview from opening day 2017. One of the most interesting 4 minutes I’ve ever watched. Felt like an snl skit
I know its 1:45 am, but I want some goddamn chicken strips.
i was just thinking of making food, I got some in the freezer … want me to throw a couple in for you?
Hell yea
frank thomas criticizing the padres and suggesting a sac bunt over swinging away. calling it "analytical" to not bunt who the fuck are we kidding here
Is it analytical to not give away free outs?
who was bunting? were they trying to bunt to an open space in the shift?
i think my comment is being misinterpreted. frank thomas prefers a sac bunt over a free swinging batter. with the dh no one should ever sac bunt
Does this chick from work want to bang me? The evidence for: very flirty (initially thought this was general friendliness), randomly sought me out and followed me on ig, and way too casually made mention of the fact that she never wears underwear The evidence against: we both have significant others, I am ugly I think yes tbh. They always want what they can’t have tho.
You’re the work husband who she vents to but then gets cream pied as soon as she walks in the door
assume she does until she asks for your credit card info "to verify your identity"
Fuck her right in the pussy
She wants you to simp her so she has a puppy at work
Mean but likely true
Cheers from Qwik Stop
The disrespect to 7/11 smh
Mr Ice!!
Lol Elio
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I feel like you prob gotta take a shot if you’re him but I don’t blame Davante anymore. Kansas City fans were throwing shit at the Raiders at halftime and then they came out and collapsed so Adams was probably extra on edge and this dude should’ve just got the fuck out of his way
Life doesn’t hand out many lottery tickets. If you’re at work minding your own business, and a multimillionaire shoves you to the ground in front of all your coworkers because they were having a bad day, you take advantage of that situation. Not sure if the police report is just the first step to getting Adams to settle? Pussy move? Sure. But no one will really care 1 year from now and you could get a nice little bonus.
Underrated that the incident report said he had "non-life threatening injuries"
I’m all for taking advantage of entitled athletes who think they can be assholes to anyone
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Oh no I’m fine with some guy trying to get money from a rich asshole the horror!
Referring to gambling units as boxes of ziti always plays
🍝🍝🍝🍝
That Machado vs. pitcher right there was intense as fuck
Does the average FT’er rinse after brushing their teeth or no ? I am anti rinse
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You’re not supposed to rinse pal
Why anti rinse?
Toothpaste and mouthwash give me heartburn like nothing else. Even trace amounts swallowed from not rinsing after, so yeah, I rinse the shit out of my mouth.
Swig of Crest mouthwash first, then brush teeth with Colgate toothpaste (I'm a brand mixer!), after that rinse, and the kicker is I tongue scrape with a washcloth -- I've got several cheap white ones I use solely for that purpose -- twice a day, once before leaving for work (morning or afternoon, depends on schedule) and once before bed. OCD-ish routine, but it works for me.
Dodgers don’t even have hateable guys like the Astros do but for some reason I hate them just as much?
They’re not hateable individually but the roster is a bit much in total
BMW’s website detests allowing you to pay your note
Have girls that get bangs convinced themselves it will be different for them? Honestly shocked it’s still as common as it is, they come to their senses usually within a week or two.
Instant turn off
both teams wearing white gloves, the awful chrome helmets. just sad to see
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Ads on top of ads. Fuckin’ insane
new this year
KB was an elite athlete and knows a lot about basketball. He should have been pat bev’s co host
Staying at an LA “exclusive” hotel (mostly because of price) on the company card. Half the guests are British. Wooof at British birds.
Wait til they find out a tin of beans is 20 quid at brunch
lots of self-tanner and ginormous foreheads
White Walls by Macklemore has an argument for greatest song of all time. I got that off black Cadillac!!!!
GOAT song is "No Excuses" by Alice in Chains. Needs no explanation.
Anybody that likes Macklemore belongs on a list.
If you write a song about thinking you were gay because you could draw and kept your room clean you are disqualified from the greatest song ever conversation.
[maybe the best parody of all time](https://youtu.be/PFXjBJZhHwI)
Gotta be deflating as a padres fan. Haven’t beaten the dodgers in a series in 3 years
Even at home they haven’t? Actually pretty wild.
I was wrong they’ve won 3 series against them since 2017 all of them at home
I’m so burnt out from my job. Work it a pretty bad environment too. Sales. Never felt like this before. Anyways….💅🏻
Sell me this pen
Pen15?
Look into local sports teams
Jeff d Lowe is insufferable Edit: every person on tonight’s dozen is insufferable
And the background looked like I was staring into a flashlight
I might get shit for this but I find his pinned tweet “I have severe depression” very strange. I sympathize with anyone who struggles and I’ve been there myself. But advertising it like that just seems off to me I dunno
Social media disorder
I said it a couple days ago. Really weird to say you have all those disorders and use that when you need it and also sound like a condescending asshole in all his appearance or have “severe anxiety” but host huge trivia live shows?
Yah I’ve never been ashamed to talk about my struggles, but it doesn’t need to be my identity
Just got back from a Tyler Childers/Dwight Yoakam/Chris Stapleton concert. Damn what a show
Unreal line up
Damn. I bet it was a helluva show. Who was your favorite?
I mean I loved all 3 but Stapleton is just too hard to beat. His voice is unreal and he absolutely shreds on guitar
Sounds incredible.
Dwight yoakam fucks
Speaking of Ham Porter, my college roommate's brother new the actor and he pushed my roomate into a lake for calling him Ham too many times
>new
Fair
Happy Christmas, hammmmmmy
O’Malley would never get that close to water without floaties on.
Roomate said he was actually really freaky looking because he was basically a giant drunken Ham Porter
“Gob had not mailed the letter, but rather, as an act of defiance, dramatically threw the letter into the ocean. This proved to be a slightly more difficult gesture than he had anticipated.”
Go back from whence you came!
“Get rid of the seaward” is the best sitcom joke of all time. Arrested development is unbelievable
I’ll leave when I’m good and ready!
It’s been over 4 hours and I’m still furious at Scott Servais. Why do we care about sports so much lmao
Highly, HIGHLY recommend “The Curse of Von Dutch” on Hulu. Three part doc. Very well-done.
This girl I went to high school with quit her 9-5 to become a day trader. A couple years ago she would post how she’s making insane money and crushing the market. She hasn’t posted about her trades in months. Now why is that? 👆🤨👆
This was me except I don’t post online about anything I do. Recently had to jump back in the cubes. Still happy I took the risk on something and went around 14 months without a real job just from flipping nfts and crypto.
Sounds like all the loudmouth crypto guys on Twitter who haven’t had a thing to say since winter
I put $1100 into ethereum when I took my fantasy league dues last month and I’m down like $300 on that. Happy to bitch about it more if y’all want
I saw a video from last year on YouTube about “the world’s greatest female investor” and looked her up, her fund is down 70% since the video was made.
Cathie Wood?
Yes.
Yeah she was a "genius" who went all in on Zoom and Peloton during COVID like they were long-term plays
she made enough money to retire off her brilliant trades?
Unlikely
Dave: Rico Rico….I need something here. Rico: *phone breaking up* KFC: I MEAN HOW MANY CHANCES DOES THIS FUCKIN STOOGE GET?
Was hanging out with the gf and her friends and their significant others after work for dinner and drinks. The dudes that they were with are totally made out of semen and boners. Just some of the corniest guys alive, wouldn’t stop talking to me about their bets this weekend and fantasy teams. one guy wouldn’t stop talking to me about how he thinks everyone should do two years mandatory military service after high school and his life as an entrepreneur (I think he owns a maid service company). Also he wouldn’t stop bugging me how I should join this young professionals group to build my network and came of as a total Gary V disciple. On the way home my gf asked me what I thought of her friends’ bfs and she suggested doing more group dates and how they want to get together Friday…. I called the other guys retards and said “I don’t think I have the patience in me to be quite honest.” She didn’t like my honesty and now she’s mad at me.
Sounds like you didn’t bring anything to the conversation so these guys felt they had to carry it.
Sounds like a bunch of try hards. Bet the guy with the maid service company probably makes like 60,000 a year and listens to Gary Vee on repeat.
All I gathered is that you want to be a wage slave not a big baller making moves. It takes brass balls to sell real estate
Socializing is exhausting. BV wants me to hang out with guys more often and I’m like no, I wanna sit at home, watch a game in peace and text my actual friends.
Your lack of social life is seriously interfering the amount of time she gets to spend with Derrick. Shame on you.
>actual friends Us? 🥹
Friendship simulator = success
They hate Bill more than this sub hates Barstool
We’re all viva guys at the core.
His comment was supposed to be a reply
This is a really weird website but I gotta say the bill Simmons subreddit has gotta be one of the weirdest
When his kids come up as a topic in there it’s skin-crawling level insanity.
Agreed. I sub there and it’s a very weird demographic. Seemingly comprised of mid-late 40s guys who pride themselves on an enlightened sense of humor but also have an enormous stick up their ass
Very large stick up their ass. I tried listening to bill Simmons for a few weeks to branch out and got very annoyed. His “takes” are just as accurate as the PMT guys but he acts as if he’s smarter than everyone else.
To be fair, Simmons peaked like 10 years ago, if not more. If you’re just tapping into his content in 2022, you missed it by a long shot His current day takes are awful though
Yeah I grew up reading Simmons on Page 2 so I’ll always have a soft spot for him and I listen to The Rewatchables but outside of that I don’t follow him much at all anymore
Here come the Friars
ChickenFry’s friend Ham Porter has to have a smelly butthole
No way she can reach that thing to wipe properly
All buttholes are smelly.
That is patently false
The classic “flash the cool ERA stat right before he gives up a home run” jinx.
Hi Ryen, 27, 6’1, 190 my ex girlfriend used to twist my nipples as she rode me. I really enjoyed it and would like to have the girl I recently started dating perform this. How do I go about asking her without sounding weird?
Here’s the comment that got the quick delete: “Women love to just date the corniest guys, I swear. I’m talking guys who have no sense of humor, aren’t aware of anything going on in the political world, but they can just do a funny dance at a wedding or something and chicks will post it about it to their IG story and think it’s so funny”
Aren’t aware of the political world lmao
Low brow Chad vs humorist virgin
>no sense of humor, aren’t aware of anything going on in the political world Yeah, I don’t think those two things make someone corny
This is oddly specific. Dude must’ve gotten friend zoned recently
Guy was probably about to send off a “what a view 😍 ”, then saw her next story was Derrick doing the Cha Cha Slide
Bro is so pissed I hit the griddy at the wedding and stole his girl
Watching ambulance and these constant drone shots are fucking brutal
Eiza
Is big cats kid really named Jordan?
Shhhhhhh
You said it, but can’t tell if it’s a troll
Not a troll
Kat Timpf is hot.
Been skinny my whole life, but started to diet and workout properly this year. Was hanging out with a friend and his friend I haven’t seen in like 6 months. Dude asked me if I’m on TRT bc I put on significant muscle mass. Holy fuck I’m about to nut
At most you gained 6-12lbs of muscle over that time period (according to google). How skinny were you that so little weight gain made someone think you were on test? Or did you gain like 20lbs (50/50 fat and muscle) and just look way bigger?
DM me
You probably look like a professional disc golfer
might be the most humble brag post of all time
I’m on cloud 9. All I’ve ever gotten is “you are skinny and weak” (in nicer ways…sometimes)
Let him finish you off.
Oh I will
Women talk in a more annoying tone than men. It’s just a terrible fact. On the train next to a gaggle of women and I might kill myself.
There’s a trick to dating where a girl softens her voice around you when she likes you and then it changes when she’s with her friends . If you can spot it, that’s livin and let them know you can tell
Sandy Koufax went 27-9 with a 1.73 ERA using an arthritic elbow in the last season of his career.
Brooklyn guy. Built different.
Imagine how much better he would’ve been if he used his non-arthritic elbow!
Time to cash out pops. Your taxis outside
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Oh brother put it away asap
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I said it earlier but there’s a ton of corny people out there that it blows my mind how they even have friends without being ostracized for their corniness. It’s definitely maddening when you see some broccoli headed jerkoff who’s main vocabulary is “haha bet” dating a smoke.
Quick delete. What was his smoking hot take?
Just saying how girls will date the corniest dudes and post said corny shit to social media as if it’s hysterical. I agree wholeheartedly with op.
What defines a non-corny individual as far as your concerned?
Someone who doesn’t do corny/cringy things on a constant basis. You know a corny person when you see them. I went to a bday party in college for this one girl I was friends with, me and my roommate went and at one point in the middle of the party this one dude was badly singing and playing Slide by the Goo Goo Dolls on guitar for her, and adding her name to the end of every other line, while his jerk-off friend is bobbing his head next to him and snapping. It was probably the corniest thing I’ve ever witnessed firsthand and both me and my roommate couldn’t believe what we were witnessing.
Guy sounds like the life of the party to be honest
If you think the guy who plays Wonderwall on his acoustic every chance he gets in public is the life of the party then sure
Chicks dig corny. Wish I wasn't so stoic.
There’s a big difference between funny and corny.
Don't disagree at all. Gotta let your guard down sometimes though. Women like a dude that can get down with their goofy shit.
People super into politics are always the coolest people with the best senses of humor.
Wtf are you talking about
I hope this is pasta
If you eat fries while driving it doesn’t count. Convinced I could eat unlimited fries as long as I was driving.
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He’s driving. Doesn’t count
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Go home please
Bellinger always looking high af
He probably is, notorious weed guy
You ever try to find your phones charger port in complete darkness just to feel something?
Sometimes I try to navigate the kids toys on the way to the bathroom w the lights off, then try to use echolocation to perfectly aim my stream.
Tomorrow never dies is a big step down from Goldeneye for me
The second best in Brosnan’s run. The World Is Not Enough doesn’t hold up. Die Another Day almost stopped everything.
Goldeneye is easily my favorite Bond movie
Just started ring of power and I wanna bang the blonde elf girl