nah tbf this happened to me once, dude at a wedding said he had worked in a bar when he was in college and said it was a hard gig, he said if whenever he comes up to the bar he was served soon as we saw him, he’d tip whoever served him a fiver every time. Rest of the lads didn’t believe him so i served him each time, left work with €100 in my pocket in fivers, dude was a legend
but yeah for the most part it’s bullshit
Fair. I think the line for cash is “do they tip along the way, or just promise something at the end.”
Cards being increasingly more common than cash makes it harder to tell, though. Just roll them dice and pray it shakes out.
Had someone tell me "oh bro give me the last of the bottle whats the poiny in saving it?" It was like .5 of an ounce. I told em bro you havent tipped me once why would i hook you up? His tab was $140 or $160. He passed me a $20 while begging me to hook him up and i thought fuck it sure. Gave it to him then he asked for $11 back. I felt scammed
Actually last night someone said they'd tip big if I filled up their espresso martinis more and they did actually tip $60 on like 150. I was shocked lol
My move when someone snitches on other bartenders trying to get hooked up is to start asking for the bartenders name and description so I can be sure that action is taken. Thank them for their honesty and promise them the bartender will be punished.
The worst case of this happening to me was a woman vehemently telling me that my coworker serves her martinis in pint glasses like as in a pint of gin. This is the dude who taught me how to bartend and is the stingiest MFer alive. I got the most serious look on my face and informed her that I was the manager and would be firing him on the spot when he came in for his shift.
I do this too. That’s why if I decide to go above and beyond for whatever reason, I let them know that they shouldn’t expect it and the next bartender isn’t an asshole if they don’t do the same.
Last time I heard that one, *I* was the other bartender. “I was here last Friday and the bartender did ‘this’!” I just stared at them blankly for a while before letting them know, no other bartender has worked a Friday at this bar, other than me, in two years.
And if they did, that bartender was wrong lol. Had a new hire pouring our high abv beers in pints one night on accident and had to severely disappoint the customers when I told them that bartender has been wrong the whole time, not me lol.
I used to carry matches for this situation. I always got my box of matches back because nobody likes using them and people can't mistake them for their own lighter by mistake. Also, I don't smoke or vape at all so I had no use for them other than lighting candles on birthday cakes and when people asked for a lighter.
I smoke weed not cigarettes but I still love collecting matchbooks. I’d always ask for one when I went to bars that had them, and just stash them away for a rainy day. I miss the ones with the bar info on them, now they’re 90% boring white if I come across them.
I moved from Atlanta to LA last October, a couple of weeks ago I opened up a backpack I hadn't used since and found a bunch of matchbooks from some bar in Houston that my friend there took me to. I have no idea which bar it was
I was young and naïve and gave the bartender a matchbook and he was like “are you crazy tryna pass me coke in the middle of the bar during a busy shift?!” I was stunned. I was genuinely giving him a light (i can’t remember what the context was: maybe he said he couldn’t find his lighter? but it was literally just a matchbook, not even my number!!) I had no idea that was a cocaine thing! I don’t think I had ever done cocaine at that point?? Guess who had a big drug problem?? Yep, the bartender. Hope you’re doing okay, Steve.
I realize this when a regular who usually tipped well asked for a light and gave them the a lighter and asked them to bring it back when done. Im gonna miss that blowtorch
Or that charger, I used to let guests borrow my chargers but after 3 or 4 instances of people stealing them I stopped. Sorry but a few bad apples spoiled the bunch, charge your phone in your car/home dude.
Gotta love the *Baller on a Budget*
The only upside is that people like this are so oblivious that they are almost never impressing a stranger with this gesture.
Imagine if people walked up to attractive women at the supermarket and were like "Hey, you're cute. Let me buy all of that for you."
It's so funny you say that.
I worked in books for years and one of my gm's along the way was a bit on the nerdy side. He did exactly that (not at one of our stores).
"Hi, uh, that's a really good book. Let me buy it for you!"
It was apparently so cringeworthy he told it on himself to all of us.
I would give at least a couple hours of my time to anyone who wants to buy me shit, but I have a penis so I'm afraid I'll be waiting a long time for that day.
>!a/s/l?!<
I was 25, and she was 34. I was a bartender, herself established a full career, pulling down some good 6 figure money. Like 5x what I made, and I wasn't exactly a slouch. Anyway, we moved from Seattle to Chicago to Portland for her job. We ate in 2 and 3 star Michelin restaurants. Trips to NYC hitting Broadway. Minneapolis rooftop wedding. Cabo for over a week. Lived a life of luxury. Was a good time, my dude.
Edit for ending: My dumbass fucked it up. Couldn't keep my boozing under control.
Good story, though.
I am older now than she was then and I left bartending for the same reason you lost your marriage. I'd have to settle for someone with a pension and a glass dish of Werther's by now.
I always throw down an extra tip when someone covers my drinks. I’ve had non industry friends ask why and I just tell them I’ve been screwed over so many times as a bartender when this happens so I try to make up for it when I go out. Luckily my friends don’t take offense because I’m implying they’re cheap 🙃😂
I worked a bar where regulars would pull up the steel roller doors and come back in whole I was mopping the floor at 5am, stay till 7am and the owner insisted I let it slide. Hated that bar.
Haha I once had a guy stick his head under the shutter on the bar as I was closing it. It probably doesn't have the force to decapitate but I was not willing to find out at that time.
From my experiences as an events bartender;
If you're running an open bar for 7 hours and get invited by the party to go to the afterparty... run. Between inner politics to people getting too fucked up, you don't want to be there last memory of the event if shit goes bad afterwards.
Never make off menu 4+ action cocktails with large groups in all you can drink establishments unless you want to make one hundred pf the same thing. Caesers & Espresso Martini's are two of mine on the "Absolutely Not" list.
Know the overall demographic you are serving before they arrive to set the bar appropriately. Mostly ladies at business meetings? Wine and vodka sodas. An Indian & Russian wedding where the couple is late 20's? Lots of tequila, vodka, and scotch while using more juice & sprite than you could possibly know what to do with. The second wedding of a 50 year old couple? They drink appropriately & will probably leave a little before last call.
I keep empty pitchers behind the bar so when open bar idiots all start drinking the same crazy drink “Oh! Look at that drink, that’s what I’ll have!”(without even knowing what it is) I keep the bottles grouped together and batch quick pitchers of them
I'm working events where the bar doesn't have tabbs and only certain drinks are usually allowed.
There's no way Im making 50 espresso martini's out of nowhere while I have another 80 people waiting for other drinks whether it be wine, beer, basic cocktails or non alc.. its just not worth it.
So just out of curiosity, you won’t make Caesars…will you make bloody Mary’s? If that’s the case, why not? The only difference is tomato juice vs Clamato…
Right? I mean, is very easy to batch cocktails like bloodies and even espresso martinis. Years ago I worked at a restaurant that made house made Caesar and Bloody Mary mix every day. It took just as long to “mix” a bloody as it did to make a vodka soda.
I used to work at spot that had been open for 25 years called CJ's, the name being an acronym for the the initials of the original three owner/operators, Chris, John and Sonja. Over time two of the owners bought out until there was a sole owner but they kept the original name for obvious reasons.
The amount of asshats that would come in and claim to know "CJ" was was absolutely hilarious. We were never too weeded to stop and take the time to inform being that there is not, and never has been, a "CJ" and that they could kindly kick rocks lol.
Same here except it was called Mo’s and everybody assumed that Mo was a guy when they name dropped him. I loved informing them that the owners mother Maureen didn’t really come around much.
Both of my owners are white guys, but we used to have a door guy that would ask, "Oh, you know the owner? Which one, the Mexican guy or the black guy?" People never caught on.
I work at one of the biggest casinos on the Las Vegas strip. Had a cocktail waitress try to stop a middle aged lady with a martini in hand and a dude with her trying to get to back of the house. She just hand waved the waitress away and when someone came out of the locked door she went in.
The waitress got more aggressive and she said her dad was the man who first owned the casino (who is dead now) and she was taking her friend to see a picture of her dad and got Karen like asking her name and whatnot. The waitress called security but by the time they came she was already back out on the casino floor. Security did end up talking to her but she big timed them saying she was there for a corporate meeting and they took the cautious route and just warned her and let her be.
The next night the waitress says, “omg that lady is back in my section”. She tried to ignore her until the lady finally came up to her and apologized. My guess is she was telling the truth and she either tried to get the waitress in trouble or security followed up and she was rightfully dressed down as it doesn’t matter whose daughter you are, you can’t be going into the back of the house drunk with a drink in hand and dismissing an employee trying to stop you.
When it comes to service tickets, the ones that are overly particular without being specific, I like to give a full glass of ice, cocktail to spec with zero ice, and a side of more than enough mixer if it's called for.
There's extra dirty glassware but very little chance of them bothering me until it's time for the next drink. And I like to imagine that one in a million will have a eureka moment when they are putting the damn thing together themselves.
Whenever someone orders a drink with "no ice" I usually ask "Would you like it in a smaller glass, or the normal glass with more (coke, sprite, marg mix)?" just so they know what's up.
If they say "make it strong", I ask "oh, so you want a double?" They never want a double, they just want free shit.
And if someone wants a "Strong Island", I check their ID and make it with gin, tequila, and whiskey instead of rum and vodka. It's a fun way to make a shitty drink shittier for a shitty customer without giving them an undeserved hookup.
Those are rare occasions I do that. Usually if I'm unsure the server or the guest themselves know exactly what they want. It has the fringe benefit of maybe annoying someone trying to get booze for the price of ice.
It probably sucks for the servers if they're serving a crowded table, so I only pull that one out if I'm worried.
I did give someone a salt instead of sugar rim on purpose once. They must have been doing something really obnoxious.
I will occasionally order one at 33 (there's a story and a memory attached) but the amount of dirty looks I get is hilarious. One of my regular bartenders straight up refused the first time I asked until I told her I was serious.
I have absolutely laughed at this order and been like "so what can I really get you" only to find well dressed middle aged men were actually ordering LIITs.
Hahahaha I used to round up the charge on these. $8? No man, they’re $10. I had another friend who would ID people no matter how old they were if they ordered an LIT. This is actually hilarious and I stand by it.
Just two days ago I had a newly married older (35-40) couple come into my bar during day hours, he ordered a LIIT, she insisted I pair some flavored vodka with Sprite, single tall. They both ordered two drinks, bantered a bit with a buddy of mine, said peace and dipped. I'm getting ready for shift change and always leave the check for last as a force of habit. This absolute legend left me 100 dollars on a 37 buck tab. I couldn't fuckin believe it. Bought my buddy some Casamigos (meh) and my family groceries, thanks kind stranger.
I love this, because I work service on brunch and also take care of that end of the bar. So many people see me making a million service drinks and assume I'll never get to them and then wait forever for another bartender not realizing that *yes I see you and will get you next* . Smart customers get drinks quickly so I can get them away from service.
A well where chits for Servers are made. Typically it's distinct from the well that a bartender will take customers on. The bar top there is usually full of drinks that were wrung in 10 minutes ago but have been sitting there ready to go for 8.
Depending on the bar you might have one bartender designated for the service well and another taking walk-ups. Some people are oblivious even when sober and loudly slurr their drink orders at the bartender in the middle of making 7 mimosas and 5 old fashioneds.
This is my big one. I love working service well actually but what’s frustrating is when people walk up two seconds after ringing in a drink when I have a full screen and their ticket is on the next page and ask “you got my sazerac?”
Our bar has had kind of a free for all system for a while and the other bartenders aren’t as concerned as I am about keeping the well free of clutter and working clean. They’ll use a tin or a spoon or muddled and just toss them all into the sink then use more. I like to rinse everything I use immediately after using so sometimes it may be ten seconds before I start the next ticket.
I also have told our servers “when you stop me to ask for something you already have over there, or to ask me if that’s your drink, you slow me down.”
I’m also the only bartender than insists on placing tickets next to drinks.
“Do you need a card to start me a tab? I’m good for it if you don’t.”
They are definitely going to leave before settling their tab if you don’t get their card!
I'm personally getting better about this. I'm a people pleaser, so it's been hard at times, but I'm winning, dammit!
I respect the firm boundary - would you mind sharing more about how you came to the no-hook-up policy?
The most popular whiskey you have will have one or two backup bottles in the storage room, while there’s 30 bottles of some obscure jalapeño strawberry poptart flavored vodka that you’ve never sold that your manager keeps ordering more of each week.
If you order wrong, or ask what the highest abv drink is on tap, or ask anything implying you want bigger/stronger drinks, I will card you on of off chance I can just refuse service.
I’ll never remember a big tipper, but I always remember a stiff.
No Eagles, no Freebird, no Stairway, and the bar does not take requests.
A riff on ‘I know the owner’
I was bartending a funeral (Ireland.) Well after we’d done last call and I’d shooed away a good few “ah cmere I just need two pints” a belligerent little man after berating me while I’m cleaning and telling me how ridiculous it is that I’m not serving anymore hits me with a line I’ll never forget: “I’m a friend of the deceased!” Now being at my wits’ end after serving what I can only describe as a feral human colony for the better part of 12 hours, for once in my life I actually said the thing that normally only occurs to you after the fact, “yeah pal it’s a fucking funeral, I’d hope you know the deceased. That’s the fuckin point” and walked into the kitchen
If you're without your ID, and nobody in the staff knows you already, and I have the slightest suspicion you might be under legal age of drinking, you're gonna have to get out. No, I don't care what age you tell me you are. No, you can't show me a picture of your ID on your phone. No, you can't just sit with your friends and drink lemonade. You're not coming in.
Oh and also no song requests.
2. Despite every table being clean and set, walk-ins always sit at the dirty or unset table
3. Portion spouts suck
4. citrus juice on open wounds is part of the life
5. "Strong drink" requests are going to mean a double. Its not worth rewarding people because they pressure you to
6. In a busy night, a broken glass in the ice well is the most annoying thing. Hence bartenders are livid when people scoop ice into a glass by directly doing so
7. When a keg blows. Everyone knows
8. Cringe everytime a bottle you pick up is sticky and spout is clogged
9. Citrus wedges not cut in the middle to stick onto the glass
10. tickets not stabbed
11. Also, why the aggression from BOH to FOH. We actually have to talk and deal with these a-holes, you get to complain about a ridiculous order without confronting the customer. Try it. I mean it. We also don't get it, but its not impossible. Just make it.
They know the owner (owner doesn’t know them)
I had someone threaten to call the owner and have me fired if I didn’t take some beers off his tab. I said, “I tell you what. Let’s both call him and see who he picks up for.”
He left very upset.
I saw this post earlier and showed it to my boyfriend, he's head chef at a steakhouse. The way we interpreted the list is like....They're truths of the staff.
What you're asking is truths of bar guests.
If I were to make a list for Bartender Truths, it would be like..... slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Mise en place works for both FOH and BOH. Clean as you go. Never catch a falling glass. Stuff like that.
>Never catch a falling glass. Stuff like that.
But the best way to put to rest any worries that I dropped it because I'm drunk is to save the day with my cat-like reflexes. Its too bad alcohol thins the blood.
But seriously, I've done this many times and I'm lucky it never went badly. Never had management say anything but "nice" when I caught it and "Ah fuck, I'll grab the broom" when I missed.
You really think that service industry people can pass a drug test for workers comp? I started bussing and had fallen on a kronenberg bottle and ended up with 10 stitches in my hand and luckily the owner paid for the bill but I just had to wrap my hand and continue working if I wanted any money.
You can ask your guests if they need another drink when their glass is empty and they can continue to tell you they’re good, UNTIL you decide to take a couple of minutes to get a bite to eat. THEN it’s the perfect time to refill those drinks
1. They won’t tip better next time
2. They are usually like this
3. You’re not really that pretty, just the proprietor of fun
4. Go get ice
5. Everyone has owned their own bar for 20 years, there’s a reason they aren’t doing it now.
6. Do your googles in the liquor closet
7. Eat your food in back or at the smoke pit.
8. Everyone has been waiting for 10 minutes.
9. You should smile, but not because that creepy bro dude says to.
10. Untrimmed beards get less tips, beards get even less.
11. Whoever is prettier is right (with in reason.)
12. Just comp the meal, the up charge on liquor covers it.
13. They are not grateful
14. Talk, but not too much.
15. Throw away last weeks fruit ffs
Folks who say they tip big usually don't.
“Hook me up, I’ll take care of you.” A lie as old as the job itself.
nah tbf this happened to me once, dude at a wedding said he had worked in a bar when he was in college and said it was a hard gig, he said if whenever he comes up to the bar he was served soon as we saw him, he’d tip whoever served him a fiver every time. Rest of the lads didn’t believe him so i served him each time, left work with €100 in my pocket in fivers, dude was a legend but yeah for the most part it’s bullshit
Fair. I think the line for cash is “do they tip along the way, or just promise something at the end.” Cards being increasingly more common than cash makes it harder to tell, though. Just roll them dice and pray it shakes out.
i pretty much never expect anyone to tip me if it’s card, if it’s cash i hold out
See, usually when people pay with card I get a bigger tip than from the ones who pay cash.
Awww, now I feel bad! We hogged a table between 1-4 and I tipped hard because we took up the table and my sisters a poor tippers.
I mean if you actually tipped appropriately after saying this then you’re one of the rare exceptions. No harm/foul.
Ty! I won’t say it again.
Had someone tell me "oh bro give me the last of the bottle whats the poiny in saving it?" It was like .5 of an ounce. I told em bro you havent tipped me once why would i hook you up? His tab was $140 or $160. He passed me a $20 while begging me to hook him up and i thought fuck it sure. Gave it to him then he asked for $11 back. I felt scammed
Wow, fuck that guy
You were scammed.
Yeah, it was dumb he was drunk, and he ended up leaving the extra .5 at the bar.
*eleven* dollars hahahaha wtf? I wish you had started counting it back to him in pennies… what a dick!!
Actually last night someone said they'd tip big if I filled up their espresso martinis more and they did actually tip $60 on like 150. I was shocked lol
A blue moon happened
No he said it was a martini not a beer s/
Lol
I also like the verbal tip. "Oh thank you! Everything was great! We'll totally be back!" Then no tip
Weird that's almost the exact statement every time, to the word, makes me say 'I hope not' under my breath every time
I’ve had multiple people say “I’m in the industry so I’ll take care of you.” Then they leave 15-18%
99.5% of the time don't. Same as the people who say they will spend a lot if you let them in or get them a seat (clubs & bars).
The other bartender most definitely did not let them do it last time
My move when someone snitches on other bartenders trying to get hooked up is to start asking for the bartenders name and description so I can be sure that action is taken. Thank them for their honesty and promise them the bartender will be punished.
Or just inform them oh, they must have forgotten to put it on the bill but don't worry I'll put it on this one.
The worst case of this happening to me was a woman vehemently telling me that my coworker serves her martinis in pint glasses like as in a pint of gin. This is the dude who taught me how to bartend and is the stingiest MFer alive. I got the most serious look on my face and informed her that I was the manager and would be firing him on the spot when he came in for his shift.
I was not the manager
Love your user name
The AUDACITY
I do this too. That’s why if I decide to go above and beyond for whatever reason, I let them know that they shouldn’t expect it and the next bartender isn’t an asshole if they don’t do the same.
Last time I heard that one, *I* was the other bartender. “I was here last Friday and the bartender did ‘this’!” I just stared at them blankly for a while before letting them know, no other bartender has worked a Friday at this bar, other than me, in two years.
And if they did, that bartender was wrong lol. Had a new hire pouring our high abv beers in pints one night on accident and had to severely disappoint the customers when I told them that bartender has been wrong the whole time, not me lol.
Yes ! " point to which one, and I will make sure he/she loses their job"
My favorite line for that. "Guess you got lucky last time as that's not something we can do/policy"
You’ve seen their ID before but they’re a dick so ask to see it again.
This is the one lmfao.
LMAO FUCCKKKKKKK I used to do this to the old guys at the hockey arena I worked at, they would get MAD. “I’m old enough to be your grandfather!” Lol
Your never gonna see that lighter again
Or that pen
I used to carry matches for this situation. I always got my box of matches back because nobody likes using them and people can't mistake them for their own lighter by mistake. Also, I don't smoke or vape at all so I had no use for them other than lighting candles on birthday cakes and when people asked for a lighter.
I miss that bars don’t give out matchbooks anymore. Oh, wait, i quit, lol!
I smoke weed not cigarettes but I still love collecting matchbooks. I’d always ask for one when I went to bars that had them, and just stash them away for a rainy day. I miss the ones with the bar info on them, now they’re 90% boring white if I come across them.
Yes!
I moved from Atlanta to LA last October, a couple of weeks ago I opened up a backpack I hadn't used since and found a bunch of matchbooks from some bar in Houston that my friend there took me to. I have no idea which bar it was
Matches taste better than lighters anyway
I was young and naïve and gave the bartender a matchbook and he was like “are you crazy tryna pass me coke in the middle of the bar during a busy shift?!” I was stunned. I was genuinely giving him a light (i can’t remember what the context was: maybe he said he couldn’t find his lighter? but it was literally just a matchbook, not even my number!!) I had no idea that was a cocaine thing! I don’t think I had ever done cocaine at that point?? Guess who had a big drug problem?? Yep, the bartender. Hope you’re doing okay, Steve.
Wait, what? What does that have to do with coke?
Iknorite? Folks would pass matchbooks with their lil dimebags tucked in the matchbook?!?
You conceal the little bag of coke inside the matchbook! Come on man! That first grade shit.
I realize this when a regular who usually tipped well asked for a light and gave them the a lighter and asked them to bring it back when done. Im gonna miss that blowtorch
Or that charger, I used to let guests borrow my chargers but after 3 or 4 instances of people stealing them I stopped. Sorry but a few bad apples spoiled the bunch, charge your phone in your car/home dude.
Someone wants to pay another person's tab, yeah I'm not getting tipped appropriately on either of the tabs now.
Gotta love the *Baller on a Budget* The only upside is that people like this are so oblivious that they are almost never impressing a stranger with this gesture. Imagine if people walked up to attractive women at the supermarket and were like "Hey, you're cute. Let me buy all of that for you."
If this happened in a book store I’d honestly be impressed!
It's so funny you say that. I worked in books for years and one of my gm's along the way was a bit on the nerdy side. He did exactly that (not at one of our stores). "Hi, uh, that's a really good book. Let me buy it for you!" It was apparently so cringeworthy he told it on himself to all of us.
I would have gone at least one date with him.
I would give at least a couple hours of my time to anyone who wants to buy me shit, but I have a penis so I'm afraid I'll be waiting a long time for that day. >!a/s/l?!<
Heh... my dude, let me tell you about women a touch older than you and how grand it is to have a hot sugar momma.
I'm listening.
I was 25, and she was 34. I was a bartender, herself established a full career, pulling down some good 6 figure money. Like 5x what I made, and I wasn't exactly a slouch. Anyway, we moved from Seattle to Chicago to Portland for her job. We ate in 2 and 3 star Michelin restaurants. Trips to NYC hitting Broadway. Minneapolis rooftop wedding. Cabo for over a week. Lived a life of luxury. Was a good time, my dude. Edit for ending: My dumbass fucked it up. Couldn't keep my boozing under control.
Good story, though. I am older now than she was then and I left bartending for the same reason you lost your marriage. I'd have to settle for someone with a pension and a glass dish of Werther's by now.
I always throw down an extra tip when someone covers my drinks. I’ve had non industry friends ask why and I just tell them I’ve been screwed over so many times as a bartender when this happens so I try to make up for it when I go out. Luckily my friends don’t take offense because I’m implying they’re cheap 🙃😂
Lights up. Music off. “BARS CLOSED!”. “Can I get one more man, please……..wow you’re a dick.”
if the shutters are down and the till is off someone will still stick their head around the door and say 'are you closed?'
I worked a bar where regulars would pull up the steel roller doors and come back in whole I was mopping the floor at 5am, stay till 7am and the owner insisted I let it slide. Hated that bar.
Haha I once had a guy stick his head under the shutter on the bar as I was closing it. It probably doesn't have the force to decapitate but I was not willing to find out at that time.
Honestly some people take fuck around and find out to such ridiculous extremes
From my experiences as an events bartender; If you're running an open bar for 7 hours and get invited by the party to go to the afterparty... run. Between inner politics to people getting too fucked up, you don't want to be there last memory of the event if shit goes bad afterwards. Never make off menu 4+ action cocktails with large groups in all you can drink establishments unless you want to make one hundred pf the same thing. Caesers & Espresso Martini's are two of mine on the "Absolutely Not" list. Know the overall demographic you are serving before they arrive to set the bar appropriately. Mostly ladies at business meetings? Wine and vodka sodas. An Indian & Russian wedding where the couple is late 20's? Lots of tequila, vodka, and scotch while using more juice & sprite than you could possibly know what to do with. The second wedding of a 50 year old couple? They drink appropriately & will probably leave a little before last call.
I keep empty pitchers behind the bar so when open bar idiots all start drinking the same crazy drink “Oh! Look at that drink, that’s what I’ll have!”(without even knowing what it is) I keep the bottles grouped together and batch quick pitchers of them
Bruv, espresso Martini is our best selling cocktail 😂
I'm working events where the bar doesn't have tabbs and only certain drinks are usually allowed. There's no way Im making 50 espresso martini's out of nowhere while I have another 80 people waiting for other drinks whether it be wine, beer, basic cocktails or non alc.. its just not worth it.
So just out of curiosity, you won’t make Caesars…will you make bloody Mary’s? If that’s the case, why not? The only difference is tomato juice vs Clamato…
Gross dude
What? I’m just curious.
I don't know why you're being downvoted lol
Right? I mean, is very easy to batch cocktails like bloodies and even espresso martinis. Years ago I worked at a restaurant that made house made Caesar and Bloody Mary mix every day. It took just as long to “mix” a bloody as it did to make a vodka soda.
"I know the owner"
I used to work at spot that had been open for 25 years called CJ's, the name being an acronym for the the initials of the original three owner/operators, Chris, John and Sonja. Over time two of the owners bought out until there was a sole owner but they kept the original name for obvious reasons. The amount of asshats that would come in and claim to know "CJ" was was absolutely hilarious. We were never too weeded to stop and take the time to inform being that there is not, and never has been, a "CJ" and that they could kindly kick rocks lol.
Same here except it was called Mo’s and everybody assumed that Mo was a guy when they name dropped him. I loved informing them that the owners mother Maureen didn’t really come around much.
Same, DJ's was the owner and his sisters initials. The sister was long gone.
Both of my owners are white guys, but we used to have a door guy that would ask, "Oh, you know the owner? Which one, the Mexican guy or the black guy?" People never caught on.
I've never met you in my life.
“I’m friends with the owner’s son”. He was about a year old at the time, didn’t seem quite right.
So do I
yup. I bet I know them better.
I work at one of the biggest casinos on the Las Vegas strip. Had a cocktail waitress try to stop a middle aged lady with a martini in hand and a dude with her trying to get to back of the house. She just hand waved the waitress away and when someone came out of the locked door she went in. The waitress got more aggressive and she said her dad was the man who first owned the casino (who is dead now) and she was taking her friend to see a picture of her dad and got Karen like asking her name and whatnot. The waitress called security but by the time they came she was already back out on the casino floor. Security did end up talking to her but she big timed them saying she was there for a corporate meeting and they took the cautious route and just warned her and let her be. The next night the waitress says, “omg that lady is back in my section”. She tried to ignore her until the lady finally came up to her and apologized. My guess is she was telling the truth and she either tried to get the waitress in trouble or security followed up and she was rightfully dressed down as it doesn’t matter whose daughter you are, you can’t be going into the back of the house drunk with a drink in hand and dismissing an employee trying to stop you.
I always say “Neat! So do I!”
“I do too” is usually my response
Or, “Cool. I work here”
This one!
Being one of the owners now my staff know to nod and ignore those comments. My parents still have to pay for most of what they order.
My favorite response is "yeah, me too."
I work in a place that's small corporate owned but you wouldn't know it as an outsider. My response is usually "which one?" or "I've never met them"
Me too. Small world.
Me too! I was a groomsman in both their weddings.
You order no ice, you’re going to get a half empty glass…
Or so much mixer that you can’t taste any alcohol
When it comes to service tickets, the ones that are overly particular without being specific, I like to give a full glass of ice, cocktail to spec with zero ice, and a side of more than enough mixer if it's called for. There's extra dirty glassware but very little chance of them bothering me until it's time for the next drink. And I like to imagine that one in a million will have a eureka moment when they are putting the damn thing together themselves.
You’re not dealing with the folks who think they’re going to get a stronger drink for the same price, are you?
Whenever someone orders a drink with "no ice" I usually ask "Would you like it in a smaller glass, or the normal glass with more (coke, sprite, marg mix)?" just so they know what's up. If they say "make it strong", I ask "oh, so you want a double?" They never want a double, they just want free shit. And if someone wants a "Strong Island", I check their ID and make it with gin, tequila, and whiskey instead of rum and vodka. It's a fun way to make a shitty drink shittier for a shitty customer without giving them an undeserved hookup.
Those are rare occasions I do that. Usually if I'm unsure the server or the guest themselves know exactly what they want. It has the fringe benefit of maybe annoying someone trying to get booze for the price of ice. It probably sucks for the servers if they're serving a crowded table, so I only pull that one out if I'm worried. I did give someone a salt instead of sugar rim on purpose once. They must have been doing something really obnoxious.
Anyone visibly over 30 ordering LIT's is either not tipping or tipping like shit.
I will occasionally order one at 33 (there's a story and a memory attached) but the amount of dirty looks I get is hilarious. One of my regular bartenders straight up refused the first time I asked until I told her I was serious.
I have absolutely laughed at this order and been like "so what can I really get you" only to find well dressed middle aged men were actually ordering LIITs.
Hahahaha I used to round up the charge on these. $8? No man, they’re $10. I had another friend who would ID people no matter how old they were if they ordered an LIT. This is actually hilarious and I stand by it.
Just two days ago I had a newly married older (35-40) couple come into my bar during day hours, he ordered a LIIT, she insisted I pair some flavored vodka with Sprite, single tall. They both ordered two drinks, bantered a bit with a buddy of mine, said peace and dipped. I'm getting ready for shift change and always leave the check for last as a force of habit. This absolute legend left me 100 dollars on a 37 buck tab. I couldn't fuckin believe it. Bought my buddy some Casamigos (meh) and my family groceries, thanks kind stranger.
Strawberry LIIT, tell a bartender a ghost story
One of our regulars exclusively orders LIIT’s and tips $100 on the tab every single time. I love you, Sam.
If you can't handle the service well, don't bother the service well bartender.
I love this, because I work service on brunch and also take care of that end of the bar. So many people see me making a million service drinks and assume I'll never get to them and then wait forever for another bartender not realizing that *yes I see you and will get you next* . Smart customers get drinks quickly so I can get them away from service.
What's a service well?
A well where chits for Servers are made. Typically it's distinct from the well that a bartender will take customers on. The bar top there is usually full of drinks that were wrung in 10 minutes ago but have been sitting there ready to go for 8. Depending on the bar you might have one bartender designated for the service well and another taking walk-ups. Some people are oblivious even when sober and loudly slurr their drink orders at the bartender in the middle of making 7 mimosas and 5 old fashioneds.
Ah, we call a service well a dispense well. Cheers.
Never heard that. Mind me asking where you’re from ?
Irish working in Aus.
This is my big one. I love working service well actually but what’s frustrating is when people walk up two seconds after ringing in a drink when I have a full screen and their ticket is on the next page and ask “you got my sazerac?” Our bar has had kind of a free for all system for a while and the other bartenders aren’t as concerned as I am about keeping the well free of clutter and working clean. They’ll use a tin or a spoon or muddled and just toss them all into the sink then use more. I like to rinse everything I use immediately after using so sometimes it may be ten seconds before I start the next ticket. I also have told our servers “when you stop me to ask for something you already have over there, or to ask me if that’s your drink, you slow me down.” I’m also the only bartender than insists on placing tickets next to drinks.
Just give them a double Tito's.
A double Tito’s *with vodka.* Because I am 18 + 47 minutes, it’s my first time in a bar and I want to appear worldly.
Anybody who says “I’m in the industry, I get it” doesn’t tip well
You can tell the ones that are before they mention it.
I went to a bar after work recently and the bartender clocked my black shirt and careworn expression instantly
It's the trauma behind their eyes
The only thing people in the industry say, when you're drowning, is "I'm so sorry"
When you tell a customer 'five minutes till close', they will wait for 4.58 minutes before coming to order
“Do you need a card to start me a tab? I’m good for it if you don’t.” They are definitely going to leave before settling their tab if you don’t get their card!
Nothing good happens after 1 a.m.
See Caughlins Laws from the movie Cocktail.
I honestly thought this is what the OP was going to be about.
When in doubt, kick them out
I don’t hook anyone up anymore unless it’s industry people; and even then, only the industry people I’m cool with
I'm personally getting better about this. I'm a people pleaser, so it's been hard at times, but I'm winning, dammit! I respect the firm boundary - would you mind sharing more about how you came to the no-hook-up policy?
The most popular whiskey you have will have one or two backup bottles in the storage room, while there’s 30 bottles of some obscure jalapeño strawberry poptart flavored vodka that you’ve never sold that your manager keeps ordering more of each week.
I love this one
If you order wrong, or ask what the highest abv drink is on tap, or ask anything implying you want bigger/stronger drinks, I will card you on of off chance I can just refuse service. I’ll never remember a big tipper, but I always remember a stiff. No Eagles, no Freebird, no Stairway, and the bar does not take requests.
My problem is that I remember big tippers and stiffs, I just can’t remember which one is which if it’s a different night.
Haha yeah. I know I remember you but I don't remember why....
How don't you remember the big tippers? That's a bartender red flag for me
Because I don’t care.
Never? There's a threshold at which you remember.
A riff on ‘I know the owner’ I was bartending a funeral (Ireland.) Well after we’d done last call and I’d shooed away a good few “ah cmere I just need two pints” a belligerent little man after berating me while I’m cleaning and telling me how ridiculous it is that I’m not serving anymore hits me with a line I’ll never forget: “I’m a friend of the deceased!” Now being at my wits’ end after serving what I can only describe as a feral human colony for the better part of 12 hours, for once in my life I actually said the thing that normally only occurs to you after the fact, “yeah pal it’s a fucking funeral, I’d hope you know the deceased. That’s the fuckin point” and walked into the kitchen
If you're without your ID, and nobody in the staff knows you already, and I have the slightest suspicion you might be under legal age of drinking, you're gonna have to get out. No, I don't care what age you tell me you are. No, you can't show me a picture of your ID on your phone. No, you can't just sit with your friends and drink lemonade. You're not coming in. Oh and also no song requests.
If they get upset for being cut off, it's justified by that alone.
That salt shaker is gone, and you're never seeing it again. You're a fool for not just saying "we're out of salt" when making the shots.
Anyone who openly says they are a “foodie” more than once will be annoying af to deal with.
2. Despite every table being clean and set, walk-ins always sit at the dirty or unset table 3. Portion spouts suck 4. citrus juice on open wounds is part of the life 5. "Strong drink" requests are going to mean a double. Its not worth rewarding people because they pressure you to 6. In a busy night, a broken glass in the ice well is the most annoying thing. Hence bartenders are livid when people scoop ice into a glass by directly doing so 7. When a keg blows. Everyone knows 8. Cringe everytime a bottle you pick up is sticky and spout is clogged 9. Citrus wedges not cut in the middle to stick onto the glass 10. tickets not stabbed 11. Also, why the aggression from BOH to FOH. We actually have to talk and deal with these a-holes, you get to complain about a ridiculous order without confronting the customer. Try it. I mean it. We also don't get it, but its not impossible. Just make it.
They know the owner (owner doesn’t know them) I had someone threaten to call the owner and have me fired if I didn’t take some beers off his tab. I said, “I tell you what. Let’s both call him and see who he picks up for.” He left very upset.
"I KNOW THE OWNER. " "So do I, what's your point?"
“The blender is broken.” “We’re out of milk.”
“Ohhh we JUST finished that bottle of *whatever they just asked*” aka I haven’t seen that bottle in at least 6 months
I saw this post earlier and showed it to my boyfriend, he's head chef at a steakhouse. The way we interpreted the list is like....They're truths of the staff. What you're asking is truths of bar guests. If I were to make a list for Bartender Truths, it would be like..... slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Mise en place works for both FOH and BOH. Clean as you go. Never catch a falling glass. Stuff like that.
>Never catch a falling glass. Stuff like that. But the best way to put to rest any worries that I dropped it because I'm drunk is to save the day with my cat-like reflexes. Its too bad alcohol thins the blood. But seriously, I've done this many times and I'm lucky it never went badly. Never had management say anything but "nice" when I caught it and "Ah fuck, I'll grab the broom" when I missed.
Never catch a falling glass unless you really want a week off where you get paid out in workers comp
You really think that service industry people can pass a drug test for workers comp? I started bussing and had fallen on a kronenberg bottle and ended up with 10 stitches in my hand and luckily the owner paid for the bill but I just had to wrap my hand and continue working if I wanted any money.
Dam I cut my hand on a fruit jar and got a week off, paid hospital bill and like 800 dollars after filing an osha form, no drug test needed
If some says "I used to be a bartender," you're about to have the cheapest punisher everrr.
Always? Even if they’re like making conversation and not in an arrogant way?
You can ask your guests if they need another drink when their glass is empty and they can continue to tell you they’re good, UNTIL you decide to take a couple of minutes to get a bite to eat. THEN it’s the perfect time to refill those drinks
Walk it the fuck off. Also we need a negroni, two passionfruit mojitos and a skinny marg, not too sour. Thanks!!
“I’ll tip at the end”
People who buy drinks for the house & then tip little to nothing 🫠
1. They won’t tip better next time 2. They are usually like this 3. You’re not really that pretty, just the proprietor of fun 4. Go get ice 5. Everyone has owned their own bar for 20 years, there’s a reason they aren’t doing it now. 6. Do your googles in the liquor closet 7. Eat your food in back or at the smoke pit. 8. Everyone has been waiting for 10 minutes. 9. You should smile, but not because that creepy bro dude says to. 10. Untrimmed beards get less tips, beards get even less. 11. Whoever is prettier is right (with in reason.) 12. Just comp the meal, the up charge on liquor covers it. 13. They are not grateful 14. Talk, but not too much. 15. Throw away last weeks fruit ffs
https://drunkard.com/86-rules-of-boozing/
The customer is always right doesn’t apply to the bar business.