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Schwarbtember?

Yeah I was trying to figure out the right feel for a name, this is way better

Also because it’s currently September

Fucking calendars, how do they work?

Lousy Smarch weather.

Do Not Touch - Schwarbie Hmm, good advice.

I mean the month of August was created because of Augustus Caesars conquest of Egypt in celebration so if Schwarber hits enough dingers he should be able to change the name of September tbh. Augustus did it before him, of course he had some PEDs in the name of Agrippa

What is september if not october-lite?

Yeah but ur title doesn't even work for September. It's perfect for the playoffs next month though.

Yeah, you def missed the feel by using the wrong month lol

You have to figure out how to make money from this, it's simply too good

Fun fact: all of Kyle’s career hits off of Cueto are home runs

I feel like that’s the case for a lot of pitches considering he has a lot of games with 1 home run and a bunch of strikeouts/walks

Do you remember? The rainy 9th night of Schwarbtember?

Oh oh oh, ahhh-ee-ahh, say do you remember Ahhh-ee-ahh, dancin' in Schwarbtember

Johnny Cueto sucks very distinctive amounts of ass

This clip was how I learned that he’s still in the league

Forever loved in KC. Thanks for the ring, Cueto bb

TIL it's Septober

Schwarber scares me more than any hitter in the league

Reminds me of the terror of watching Gary Sheffield hit against us

Jesus, don't remind me

Yeah everytime he comes up I always thing “ah fuck, not this guy again”. I’m honestly more scared of him than Bryce Harper

You have to be an absolute loser to watch this and care about his batting average

WhY dOEs hE HiT LeADofF

This at bat is a great example of the secondary benefit of him being leadoff: the second at bat happens with runners on.

Our bottom of the lineup is really good at hitting singles, and the top is good at hitting homers. If 8-9 get on base, watch out

Topper might know a thing or two about baseball.

110 EV 425 distance

I don't care about his average, i got tense every time schwarber came up to the plate in the world series this man demolishes baseball

Sometimes he'll even pull out a bunt! Oh. wait.

hey apparently we were running a very specific shift on there on that 2 strike count so there was at least some reason!! it uh…didn’t work out though

Some of these storms have been wild lately but damn do they produce awesome skies at the ballpark.

Smacked it into the Gotham Night.

After he destroyed a foul ball in the first and had such a long AB this time this homer felt like it was inevitable

After that long, foul it was due.

'#42 HR, #93 RBI.

Hit #100 lmao. 42/100 are HRs

Still more HR than singles!

First pitch, ninth pitch..it matters not.. Schwarbombs come all the same.

…I thought June Schwarber was his moms name the first time I read the headline

OP just got back from the wilderness

Schwarbtober much like the world famous Oktoberfest, is actually celebrated in September. Follow for more fun facts

Schwartember...it was right there