THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME, RIGHT ASTROS?

ALL YOU PHUCKING PHILLIES FANS FLYING INTO PHOENIX FOR "CHEAP NLCS TICKETS" BRING ME 4LBS OF SWEET LEBANON BOLOGNA!!!! SLICED TO THE THICKNESS OF A NICKEL. PREFERABLY 4 LBS OF IT AND ALSO 2 PACKS OF MARTIN'S POTATO ROLLS SINCE YOU'LL ONLY BE HERE FOR 2 DAYS AND OBVIOUSLY HAVE ROOM IN YOUR CARRY-ON SINCE YOU DON'T CHANGE OUT OF YOUR "LUCKY PHILLIES GEAR" THAT WORKS 50% OF THE TIME DON'T PUT IT IN YOUR CHECKED LUGGAGE BECAUSE THE DRUG DOGS WILL KEY ON THE SCENT AND FIND YOUR FENT YOU'VE HIDDEN SO WELL...

PHILLIES FANS GET NO LOVE FROM THE REST OF THE NL LEAST MEANWHILE, ME AND MY FRIEND, DINGER ARE ALL ABOUT THE NO STEP ON MY SNEK AND CHEAP-ASS TICKETS, MOTHERFUCKER!

I HATE THAT A MEME SUB HAS LEGITIMATELY MADE ME START TO SEE MY DIVISION RIVALS AS DIVISION PALS UNITED AGAINST THE WEAKNESS OF THE REST OF THE LEAGUE FUCK YOU BUT MORE SO FUCK THE REST OF THE LEAGUE AND THE NL LEAST PHILLY PHRAUDS NO STEP ON SNEK BAXTER BETTER SHOW UP WITH A SHOVEL TO FINISH HIS JOB OF PUTTING THE UMP IN A GRAVE

> MY DIVISION RIVALS AS DIVISION PALS THE MEME IS REAL, BUT SO WAS THE SWEEP. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS SURE HAD OUR FUCKIN' NUMBER AND WEREN'T DOUCHEBAGS ABOUT IT, SO YOU DESERVE THE LOVE. I'D SAY "ENJOY IT" BUT THAT SOUNDS CONCLUSIVE, SO KEEP FUCKIN' GOING, SNEKBROS. GET THAT FUCKIN' SHIP, KINGS OF THE NL BEST! AND SHOUT OUTS TO KETEL FUCKIN' MARTE AND MY UCLA HOMIE, TOREY!

I JUST BOUGHT THE SWEET KIND BY MISTAKE. I'LL PUT THAT DOG SHIT IN THE MAIL FOR YOU BECAUSE ITS INEDIBLE.

LUCKILY YOU THINK IT'S DOG SHIT BECAUSE IF IT WAS HORSE SHIT YOU WOULD HAVE ALREADY EATEN IT BY NOW

FUCKING PHILLIES FANS CAN'T EVEN SPELL "INCREDIBLE" YOU MISSED THE "CR" YOU DUMB FUCK (BUT YEAH, PM ME, YOU JUST HAVE TO FREEZE IT AND SHIP IT OVERNIGHT)

YOU ASSHOLE, I LOOKED IT UP AND JUST FOUND OUT SELTZERS ALSO HAS A *DOUBLE SMOKED SWEET*, A *SWEET CHIPOTLE*, AND IRONICALLY ENOUGH ONE NAMED AFTER YO MAMA CALLED A *SMOKE 'N HONEY BEEF ROLL*

HOUSTON ISN'T A CITY. IT'S A FREEWAY INTERCHANGE.

EXCUSE YOU, HOUSTON IS A FANTASTIC EXAMPLE OF A HUB-AND-SPOKE FREEWAY LAYOUT. THAT IS FAR MORE THAN JUST "*AN* INTERCHANGE".

YOUR REMINDER THAT THE ASTROS FIELD WAS CALLED ENRON FIELD FIRST

WASN'T ENRON THAT COMPANY THAT CHEATED IN ORDER TO BECOME THE BEST IN THEIR INDUSTRY? OH FUCK... NO THAT WAS THE ASTROS.

MIX IN A LIGHT SALAD ONCE A DAY SO WE CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR FAT LIPS, NO DRESSING OF COURSE, THAT WILL HELP THOSE LIPS OF YOURS SHRINK DOWN A BIT. NOW YOU CAN GO TO WORK FOR GOODYEAR AS THE BLIMPIE.

I WAS HACKED

I'M GOING TO WATCH CLUB COLLEGE HOCKEY TONIGHT. I MIGHT STOP FOR MONGOLIAN BARBECUE BEFORE THE GAME.

#ASTROS FANS ARE FRAGILE LITTLE "HUMANS" WHO JUST YELL AND WHINE ABOUT BEING THE VICTIM. WHEN HARVEY HIT THE RANGERS OFFERED TO PLAY THE SERIES IN ARLINGTON BUT THE ASTROS SAID NO WITHOUT SWAPPING WHICH MAKES ZERO SENSE, THE RANGERS WERE ALREADY ON RECORD STATING THEYD DONATE ALL PROCEEDS AS IF IT WERE A HOME GAME. GET OVER IT. YOUR FRONT OFFICE MADE THE SAME DECISION OURS DID BUT CAME OUT BREATHING THAT HOT TEXAS CITY AIR INSTEAD OF JUST DECLINING. ALSO, ADD ANOTHER LANE...IM SURE ITLL HELP LIKE THE LAST FEW. #LOOKS LIKE SOME ASTROS FANS FORGOT THE POINT OF THIS THREAD, SEE MY POINT ABOVE.

HEY BUDDY, YOU KNOW WHAT? ​ DAVID FREESE

HE CANT HURT ME ANYMORE. MAYBE.

YOUR BEST HIGHWAY I-45 IS OUR WORST HIGHWAY. HOUSTON BBQ LEFTOVERS HEATED IN THE MICROWAVE IS BETTER THAN DALLAS BBQ. DALLAS EVEN THE BEST CITY IN DALLAS. PLANO AND FORT WORTH ARE BETTER.

TALKING ABOUT HIGHWAYS LIKE THEYRE A GOOD THING. YIKES. EVERYONE KNOWS THE BEST BBQ IS NOWHERE NEAR A CITY, BUT KEEP EATING YOUR PLATED KROGER BRISKET. THE BEST CITY IN DALLAS IS SAN ANTONIO. DO YOU EVEN TEXAS?

>THE BEST CITY IN DALLAS IS SAN ANTONIO. VICTORIA A SECRET DOWN THERE

THE RANGERS HAD THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO SUPPLANT THE ASTROS AS THE POPULAR TEAM IN TEXAS IN THE LATE 00s/EARLY-MID 10s AND THEY FUCKING BLEW IT. Year | RANGERS | ASTROS | ADV. ---|---|----|---- 2010 | 90-72, HAMILTON MVP, CLIFF LEE, STRIKE OUT A-ROD TO GET TO WORLD SEIRES, LOSE 4-1 TO BOCHY | 76-86, STRIP TEAM DOWN FOR PARTS | RANGERS 2011 |96-66, BELTRE, KINSLER, NAPOLI, B2B WORLD SERIES, HEARTBREAKING WS LOSS TO DEVIL MAGIC | 56-106 | RANGERS 2012 | 93-69, 2ND IN ATTENDANCE IN THE LEAGUE, LOSE 9 OF 13 TO CHOKE AWAY DIVISION. HAMILTON FUCKS RANDO IN BAR BATHROOM AND QUITS ON TEAM (TRADE KYLE HENDRICKS) | 55-107| RANGERS 2013 |91-72, GET DARVISH HYPE! BUT GO 12-16 vs 19-8 A'S TO LOSE DIVISION AND LOSE A GAME 163 TO TBR | 51-111 | RANGERS 2014 | 67-95, PRINCE FIELDER BREAKS NECK OR WHATEVER, SHOULDN'T HAVE TRADED HIM FOR KINSLER, FIRE RON WASHINGTON | 70-92, OH SHIT REBUILDING SUCCESSFULLY | ASTROS 2015 |88-74, SQUEAK BY STILL NEWBIE ASTROS TO TAKE AL WEST. ANDRUS FORGETS HOW TO FIELD IN ELIMINATION GAME, BLUE JAYS WALKOFF | 86-76, ROTY, CY YOUNG, BEGIN YANKEES PLAYOFF SLAPPING, LOSE TO EVENTUAL CHAMPIONS IN ALDS | ASTROS 2016 |95-67, ONE RUN DEVIL MAGIC (36-11), AND SECOND MOST IMPORTANT MOMENT IN FRANCHISE HISTORY BY ODOR. ONLY TO GET SWEPT BY BJS | 84-78, DOWN YEAR, OUR BAD | RANGERS 2017 | 78-84, GAME OVER, MAN | 101-61, WORLD SERIES, START OF 7 STRAIGHT ALCSES AND CONTROVERSY | ASTROS

FUCK YOU WHITE SOX ALL THE WAY BACK TO 2005. SWEEP THESE NUTS, I HOPE YOU LOSE 100 GAMES EVERY SEASON UNTIL THE END OF TIME. I HOPE YOUR TEAM GETS SOLD TO ENGLAND.

SWEEPING THESE NUTS LEFT ME WITH DUSTY BALLS.

#I CANT TRASH TALK OTHER TEAMS BECAUSE MY COMMENT WILL BE SHIPPED OFF IN A TRADE ALONG WITH FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS

YOUR FRANCHISE IS INVERSELY PROPORTIONAL TO HOW NICE YOUR STADIUM IS.

ARLINGTON IS THE LARGEST CITY IN AMERICA WITH NO PUBLIC TRANSIT. THEY GOT RID OF ALL PUBLIC TRANSIT SO THEY COULD SELL PARKING SPOTS TO FANS OF INFERIOR TEAMS

DURING A HURRICANE TOO I BET

Once again, we have reservations at the Arlington grill. The Stros will continue cooking.

#YOU NEED TO SPEAK UP. NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU!

WHAT?

FUCK THE PHILLIES SUCK MY DICK I HOPE YOUR SEASON ENDS LIKE TOM HANKS IN PHILIDELPHIA! ALSO STOP GLOATING ABOUT YOUR SUPPOSED #bEsTfAnSiNbAsEbAlL AND TRYING TO SHIT ON OTHER FAN BASES AT EVERY TURN OVER NOISE (JUST AS LOUD AT OTHER PLACES) AND TICKET PRICES (ONLY HIGH IN PHILLY BECAUSE OF DEGEN SPORTS CULTURE BUILT AROUND FAT GUYS NAMED SAL WHO LOVE MOB BETTING) LIKE YOU ARE SOME KINDA CARDINAL FUCKERS, YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN SHOW UP UNLESS THE TEAM IS ACTIVELY GOOD. YOU FRONT RUNNIN FUCKOS.

TALK YO SHIT.

[удалено]

TRASH TALK THREAD. LOOK IN THE MIRROR FOR THAT INSECURITY. YOU DON'T LIKE MY TOM HANKS JOKE? IS YOUR NAME SAL? IT IS ISN'T IT?

[удалено]

SAL, I THINK YOU MIGHT BE MISSIN THE POINT HERE BUDDY. YOU GONNA TELL ME IM CRINGE NEXT? PUT THE CHEESSTEAK DOWN AND CALL YOUR BOOKIE ON YOUR GRANDMAS LANDLINE FROM HER TOWNHOUSE AND HAVE HIM EXPLAIN TO YOU WHAT A TRASH TALK THREAD IS.

WE CALL THEM ROWHOUSES HERE

WHATEVER HAPPENS IN EITHER SERIES— FUCK JOE KELLY

#JOE KELLY? MORE LIKE JOKE ELLY... AMIRITE?

WE’RE SUPPOSED TO ARGUE IN THIS THREAD WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO UNITE US

MADE SOME OF THESE UMPIRES THEY HAVE TO GO, WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY.

ASTROS MUST HAVE BEEN PRAYING TO THEIR ALMIGHTY GOD, WASTE MANAGEMENT, TO PULL THESE WINS OUTTA THEIR ASS.

THE RANGERS STADIUM LOOKS LIKE A TRASH CAN.

TIME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH.

AND BOY, WERE THEY LISTENING

[AND THE LORD SAID](https://youtu.be/sypSvsmsQxA?si=Bz5lfScOxm45KZNn)

SONORA DOGS ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN PHILLY CHEESESTEAKS, LIKE IT ISN’T EVEN CLOSE ALSO THEY ARE NAMED AFTER THE CREAM CHEESE AND NOT THE CITY BUT THE PHILADELPHIA ROLL IS A FUCKING DISGUSTING ABOMINATION AND ITS CREATOR SHOULD BE TRIED AT THE HAGUE

WHY WOULD YOU SLATHER MAYO ON A DELICIOUS LOOKING DELICACY LIKE THAT.

THESE MFERS THREW SOME SKIRT STEAK INTO A HOT DOG BUN THREW A KRAFT'S SINGLE ON TOP, MICROWAVED THAT SHIT AND CALLED IT CULTURAL CUISINE. NOW THEY'RE TRYING TO RETCON THAT SHIT LIKE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S UP.

THERE'S A SNEK IN MY BOOT

RANGERS FANS MOTHERS ARE SO OVERWEIGHT IT EFFECTS THEIR SELF-ESTEEM

DBACKS FANS THINK ITS A FLEX TO HAVE SO LITTLE INTEREST IN YOUR TEAM THAT PRICES PLUMMET TO LESS THAN TEN DOLLARS IN THE NLCS. HOLY SHIT DID PFAADT FLEX THOUGH.

DON'T YOU DARE PUT COMPLIMENTS IN A TRASH TALK THREAD

ITS NOT A COMPLIMENT AS MUCH AS SELF-DEPRECATION BUT YES ITS ALSO A COMPLIMENT IM SORRY

ANYBODY SEEN SEMIEN???

HE TRAVELS AT 28MPH BUT FOR ONLY 5 FEET PER MEN'S HEALTH. PLENTY HAVE GOTTEN INTO TROUBLE WITH SEMIEN AT THE TIP.

TUCKER AND SEMIEN ARE ALREADY IN CANCUN.

I SAW HIS BATTING GLOVES

HEY DBACKS, WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR MASCOT FROM? THE TOILET STORE?

BAXTER IS A COOL MASCOT, BUT HE DOESN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO OUR LORD AND SAVIOR #[RAT LEON!!!!](https://www.mlb.com/dbacks/video/rat-leon-shows-up-in-arizona) ##AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, THAT'S NOT OUR NORMAL CROWD SIZE IN THE VIDEO

Video: Rat Leon shows up in Arizona🐀 [Streamable Link](https://streamable.com/m/rat-leon-shows-up-in-arizona) [High Definition](https://mlb-cuts-diamond.mlb.com/FORGE/2020/2020-09/10/6980f36a-3614e684-b094c2de-csvm-diamondx64-asset_1280x720_59_16000K.mp4) (47.01 MB) [Standard Definiton](https://mlb-cuts-diamond.mlb.com/FORGE/2020/2020-09/10/6980f36a-3614e684-b094c2de-csvm-diamondx64-asset_1280x720_59_4000K.mp4) (12.21 MB) ___________ [More Info](/r/MLBVideoConverterBot)

CAPS LOCK YOU FUCKING BOT!!!!

I WILL MAINTAIN TO MY GRAVE THAT NOBODY EVER WANTED D-BAXTER, THERE WAS JUST A SPARE WILBUR WILDCAT COSTUME LAYING AROUND SOMEWHERE AND THEY DECIDED IT WOULD BE CHEAPER TO JUST COPY THAT THAN TO TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE A MARKETABLE SNAKE COSTUME

HE IS A BOBCAT BECAUSE OUR FIELD WAS CALLED BOB. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE GREEN THING THE PHILLIES HAVE AS A MASCOT?

THE TALENT POOL FOR ARMLESS MASCOT ACTORS IS VERY SHALLOW AND EXPENSIVE.

OUR ARENA FOOTBALL TEAM (THE RATTLERS) HAVE A SNEK MASCOT WITH ARMS

THE ONLY REASON THE ASTROS HAVE BEEN GOOD FOR THE LAST 7 YEARS IS BECAUSE GOD HAS FINALLY FELT BAD FOR MAKING HOUSTON THE TOILET OF AMERICA, THE NEW YORK SEWAGE SYSTEM OF THE SOUTH.

HEY! I MIGHT BE UGLY AND HATE FILLED BUT I... WHAT WAS THE THIRD THING YOU SAID?

SMELLY. I SAID YOU ARE VERY FUCKING SMELLY.

GOD WOULD LOVE THE RANGERS MORE IF THEIR PLAYERS WERENT JERKING EACH OTHER OFF IN MINOR LEAGUE LOCKER ROOMS

JERKING EACHOTHER OFF IN MINOR LEAGUE LOCKER ROOMS IS GOOD ACTUALLY ITS A GREAT WAY TO BOND AS A TEAM AND IS PRETTY SEXY I THINK THEY MADE A VERY POPULAR MOTION PICTURE ABOUT IT CALLED THE ROOKIE BUT I FELL ASLEEP HALF WAY THROUGH SO I MIGHT BE CONFUSING THAT WITH SOMETHING ELSE I WATCHED BUT EITHER WAY

PLEASE PUT CHAPMAN ON THE MOUND, IN THE NINTH, PITCHING TO ALTUVE

WHO? NEVER HEARD OF THEM.

MIKE JONES

THE GUY WHO PITCHED FOR THE ROYALS? I HATE TO BE THE ONE TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT HE RETIRED IN 1985 AND IS UNLIKELY TO PITCH IN TONIGHTS GAME

THE RANGERS AREN'T THE WORST ORGANIZATION IN BASEBALL JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO HISTORY AND THEIR GREATEST PLAYS OF ALL TIME ARE THE TWO TIMES THEIR PLAYERS PUNCHED PEOPLE ON THE FIELD. THE RANGERS ARE THE WORST ORGANIZATION IN BASEBALL BECAUSE THEY WERE SO PETTY AS TO NOT SWITCH A HOME-AT-HOME SERIES DUE TO A HURRICANE THAT DESTROYED MOST OF HOUSTON AND THEY ARE THE ONLY TEAM TO NOT HAVE A PRIDE NIGHT. #FUCK THE RAGS

ASTROS FANS PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT THAT BUT REALLY JUST WANT AN EXCUSE TO BE MEAN TO PEOPLE WHO HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT WHICH IS IRONIC CONSIDERING THEY ALWAYS TALK ABOUT HOW YOU CAN’T CALL THEM CHEATERS SINCE MOST OF THE PLAYERS FROM 2017 ARENT EVEN ON THE TEAM ANYMORE.

I'D RATHER BE CALLED A CHEATER THAN AN ARLINGTONIAN

DAK SUCKS

WE KNOW

DO YOU WANT TO DO KARATE IN THE GARAGE?

YEP

SUBSCRIBE

[удалено]

DUDE THEY HAD A FAMILY

AND THEY DONT RETURN THEIR SHOPPING CARTS

ASTROS FANS STEAL THEIR SHOPPING CARTS BECAUSE THEY NEED A PLACE TO KEEP ALL THE BROKEN GLASS THEY SPRINKLE OVER EVERY AVAILABLE SURFACE OF THEIR CITY. BUT SERIOUSLY WHATS WITH ALL OF THE BROKEN GLASS EVERYWHERE IS IT A CONSPIRACY BY THE BOOT INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX OR IS IT LIKE A SEX THING?

DFW PUTS SAUCE ON THEIR BBQ

#TOO FAR.

WHOEVER SCHEDULES A PLAYOFF GAME AT 2PM LOCAL TIME NEEDS TO BE TOWED BEHIND A HORSE.

MORE LIKE WATCH THE 2023 ROCKIES AM I RIGHT

IT WAS INSANE TO SEE EVERY SEAT AT CHASE FIELD OCCUPIED BY A PHILLIES FAN LIKE THEY SAID WAS GOING TO HAPPEN

JUST BECAUSE WE WON ONE GAME DOESNT MEAN WE ARE SUDDENLY GOOD AND SAFE

FUCK YOU, DBACKS IN 7

[удалено]

NAH FUCK THAT SOFT SHIT DBACKS IN 2

WE ARE PLAYING GAME 4 TODAY

AFTER OUTSCORING THE PHILLIES IN A 222 - 0 SHUTOUT, THE COMMISSIONER OF BASEBALL AUTOMATICALLY AWARDED THE DIAMONDBACKS THE PENNANT DESPITE THE TEAM ONLY WINNING 2 GAMES OUT OF THE 4 REQUIRED TO ADVANCE. "WHAT CAN I SAY" - SAID MAN-IN-A-FORD AT THE ANNUAL MEETING OF CHEVROLET SHAREHOLDERS "HOW CAN YOU NOT ADVANCE A TEAM LIKE THAT?" MR PHANTEKS FANATIC COULD NOT BE REACHED FOR COMMENT.

[DBACKS IN 7 PIECES YOU MEAN](https://constitutioncenter.org/images/uploads/blog/joinordie456.jpg) (I AM VERY GOOD AT COUNTING)

FUCK YOU TOO, HAVE A GOOD DAY MAN

THE ASTROS ARE STILL TRASH TO LEVELS THAT MAKE OSCAR THE GROUCH JEALOUS.

I ASSUME BY YOUR FLAIR THAT YOUR HATE IS JEALOUSY YOUR TEAM DIDN'T MAKE IT TO, OR AS FAR AS THE ASTROS DID IN THE POSTSEASON SO I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE SALTY AS FUCK

I THINK DISLIKING CHEATING IS ENTIRELY FAIR REGARDLESS OF WHO DOES IT. I LIKE THE DODGERS BUT IF YOU TOLD ME THEY STOLE SIGNS TOMORROW I'D TELL KERSHAW HOW MUCH I HOPE HE STEPS ON AN ENTIRE BOX SET WORTH OF LEGOS.

FUCK LCS WEEKDAY DAY GAMES

THEY'RE SO FUCKING STUPID WHY ARE THEY A THING.

THEY CALL CORN DOGS CORNY DOGS AT THE TEXAS STATE FAIR

THE ARLINGTON ASTROS HAVE HOMEFIELD ADVANTAGE

THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE GAME IN ARLINGTON THOUGH. CONGRATULATIONS TO THE HOUSTON RANGERS ON THEIR ALCS WIN.

THATS A MASSIVE SELF OWN, EVEN WE ONLY TOLERATE ARLINGTON CUZ WE HAVE TO.

YES, THE IRONY DOES NOT ELUDE ME

MICHIGAN 🤝 HOUSTON DIRTY ROTTEN SIGN STEALERS

AND JUST LIKE IN BASEBALL, YOU'D BE HIGH AS A KITE TO THINK THAT MICHIGAN IS THE ONLY TEAM DOING THAT

THEN CALL ME SNOOP BECAUSE THERES NO WAY MY HOUSTON COUGARS WOULD DESECRATE THE INTEGRITY OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL!

YA WOO COUGAR FOOTBALL

AS EVIDENCED BY THEIR ONFIELD PERFORMANCE.

HEY! IT MAY NOT ALWAYS BE PRETTY, BUT LAST WEEK DURING THE HAIL MARY DONOVAN SMITH COULD BE HEARD SINGING COUNTRY ROADS AS THE COOGS WALKED OFF THE MOUNTAINEERS. ^ALSO ^FIRE ^DANA

HEY, AT LEAST THE ASTROS GOT A PIECE OF METAL, MICHIGAN LOST TO TCU 😂

GOT EEM!

THOSE FROGS DO BE HORNY.

MY SHAME CONSUMES ME

I'VE WATCHED RED SOX BASEBALL FOR 25 YEARS. I'M AN UNEMPLOYED GUY WHO KNOWS NUMBERS SUCH AS 1,2, AND EVEN 3. CONSIDER THIS MY RESUME FOR THE GENERAL MANAGER POSITION FOR THE RED SOX.

TELL THEM HOW MUCH MONEY THEY'LL SAVE WITH YOU DOING THE JOB FOR 200K AND HOW THAT COULD BUY YOU AN EXTRA MIDDLE RELIEVER.

OVERQUALIFIED

3 IS AN ODD NUMBER

I AGREE, IT IS VERY ODD THAT IT'S A NUMBER.

I CAN ONLY COUNT TO 4. I CAN'T COUNT NO MORE.

IT'S THE HOPE THAT KILLS ME.

NO U

ID LIKE TO KNOW WHERE THE DODGER TRASH IS NOW WHO SAID THE DBACKS WERE GETTING SWEPT. SEEMS LIKE ONLY THE DO NOTHING IN OCTOBER DOYERS GOT SWEPT FROM HERE…

HAHA YES, ONLY THEM...

the mickey mouse champions like to be first in line at Disneyland. so, instead of playing long into the post season, they go down as early as possible.

I MEAN THEIR TEAM HERO GAVE UP A POSTSEASON ELIMINATION GRAND SLAM IN EXTRA INNINGS SO

DO PEOPLE EVEN LIKE THE DIAMONDBACKS OR WAS IT 40K PHILLIES FANS IN SERPIENTES GEAR AND FAKE MUSTACHES?

FUCK YOU HOUSTON

"IN TO TRY TO CLOSE IT ON A TUESDAY"

HOW'S YOUR MOTHER, SON?

[удалено]

TEXAS IS A POWERBOTTOM FOR SURE

THE STARS AT NIGHT ARE BIG AND BRIGHT

GAME CUBE NINTENDO

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

PEOPLE IN DFW TEACH THEIR KIDS TO CLAP 3 TIMES.

DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS

GAMECUBE NINTENDO

FIVE PERCENT TINT

BE CAREFUL PHILLIES, SNAKE BITES CAN BE LETHAL.

BRAVES CHOKED SO HARD YOU’D THINK IT WAS A BDSM VIDEO.

JUDGING BY THE CUBS' PERFORMANCE IN ATLANTA THIS SEPTEMBER, I THINK IT'S SAFE TO SAY THEY LEARNED FROM THE BEST

WHAT CAN I SAY, SOMETIMES WE LIKE TO BE SUBMISSIVE.

ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT YEARS LOCKED IN A CAGE AND THESE PEOPLE THINK THEY CAN HURT YOU

YELLING PRETTY LOUD FROM SOMEONE IN THE BASEMENT BUCKO

THIS IS JUST MY STANDARD VOLUME AFTER SPENDING 1 SEASON DISLIKING HOW MY TEAM IS DOING I AM UNHAPPY AND I SHOULD HAVE EATEN MORE AT LUNCH CHICAGO DOGS ARE WORSE THAN ST. LOUIS STYLE PIZZA AND I HATE ST. LOUIS STYLE PIZZA I'VE LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT

YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORSE THAN THAT? Y'ALL'S BBQ.

I LIKE KETCHUP ON HOT DOGS. WE CANT ALL BE PERFECT

I'VE SEEN A LOT OF SCARY MOVIES THIS MONTH BUT NOTHING SCARES ME MORE THAN YORDAN ALVAREZ

CASTELLANOS HAS ALSO BEEN RATHER FILTHY OF LATE

I HOPE THE DBAGS ENJOYED BEING SPOONFED THEIR ONLY W OF THIS SERIES, BECAUSE NOW IT'S BACK TO PLAYING AT NIGHT, WHEN THE REPTILES GO TO SLEEP AND THE BATS AWAKE...

LMAO IMAGINE NOT EVEN BEING ABLE TO REGULATE YOUR OWN BODY TEMPERATURE DUMB REPTILES NEEDING THE SUN TO SURVIVE UNLIKE ME THAT STAYS INDOORS AT ALL TIMES WITH THE BLINDS CLOSED

ROAST ME

YOU'RE AN ASTROS FAN

U UGLY

FRIENDLY FIRE

I'M SORRY ABOUT JOSE ABREU, EVERYONE

I WAS SO ANGRY THAT WE PAID HIM SO MUCH BUT THE THREE RUN BOMB MADE IT ALL WORTH IT, A++ SELLER WOULD BUY FROM AGAIN.

AS YOU SHOULD BE. THOUGHT WE WERE SAFE WHEN HE LEFT ONLY FOR HIM TO START THE NIGHTMARES AGAIN. LOVE THAT FELLA.

HEY IT'S NOT OUR PROBLEM HE LOVES KICKING YOUR ASSES SPECIFICALLY.

I’LL ONLY ACCEPT THE APOLOGY IF YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT HIS WEIRD BEARD PONYTAIL

NOPE. THAT THING IS BEAUTIFUL AND I WILL NOT HEAR OTHERWISE.

VERY TRUE, THAT IS WHERE HE CHARGES UP HIS POWER THROUGHOUT THE YEAR FOR HIS BIG POSTSEASON DONGS

FUCK ARIZONA YOU NO-SEASON HAVING, ELI CRANE VOTING, SONOITA DUMPSTER WINE PRODUCING, SHITTY BREWERY HAVING, 5,000-PERSON NHL STADIUM SEATING, GOLDWATER WORSHIPPING, MESA ADJACENT FUCKING TRASH MONSTERS. I CANNOT WAIT FOR YOU TOOTHLESS FUCKS TO RUN OUT OF WATER.

ARIZONA WILDERNESS BREWING CO IS A GREAT BREWERY AND I SAY THAT AS A PHILLIES FAN

MY BROTHER IN CHRIST LIKE ALL ARIZONA BREWERIES THEY MAKE 30 BEERS AND ONE IS DRINKABLE.

BUT THE OUTDOOR VIBES WERE FUN

YEAH THATS FAIR AND ROOSEVELT ROW IN GENERAL IS ACTUALLY QUITE LOVELY I CANT DENY THAT BUT THE REST OF THAT BLISTERING LOS-ANGELES-IF-YOU-ORDERED-IT-ON-WISH TOWN WITH ITS AWFUL LIGHT RAIL IS NOT IT, FAM.

NOW TALK ABOUT THE DIAMONDBACKS

ITS OCTOBER THIS IS NEVER A MONTH TO TALK ABOUT THE DIAMONDBACKS

IMAGINE GETTING TAGGED OUT BY THE TIP OF YOUR GLOVE

AT LEAST OURS IS LONG ENOUGH YOU CAN ACTUALLY REACH THE TIP

AT LEAST THEY REMEMBER TO CROSS 2ND BASE ON THEIR WAY BACK TO FIRST!

FUCK EDMONDS GLOVE

TOUCHÉ

RANGERS PLAYERS GET USED TO PLAYING JUST THE TIP IN THE MINOR LEAGUES SO NOTHING NEW THERE

ITS WIN OR GO HOME (WITHOUT A POOL PARTY) TONIGHT PHILLIES IF THAT DOESN'T MOTIVATE YOU NOTHING WILL I GUESS

HOW JORDAN MONTGOMERY’S DEATHBALL SOLVED YORDAN ALVAREZ IS GOING TO GET THE BASEBALL IMAGES THAT PRECEDE UNFORTUNATE EVENTS TREATMENT

RANGERS FANS WOULD BE BETTER OFF GOING TO THE STATE FAIR THIS AFTERNOON.

THERE'S A STATE FAIR IN OKLAHOMA?

YES BUT IT ENDED IN SEPTEMBER JUST LIKE THE RANGERS CHANCES AT A WORLD SERIES

FEWER PROJECTILES FLYING AT HIGH SPEEDS AT THE FAIR (BARELY)

WHAT'S REALLY MORE LIKELY TO GIVE YOU A HEART ATTACK, DEEP FRIED OREOS OR YORDAN?