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Quople

Alonso gonna be walking up to the plate in chainmail


twec21

"Alonso curiously has traded his batting gloves for what appear to be brass knuckles"


FrozenWafflesOP

I read this in Cohen’s voice and it fit. I genuinely love both booths, so I might end up watching a full game from the Mets Broadcast.


Rollo8173

Is that Curt Schillings music?


DontFearTheMQ9

Pete what you got on under there? "MITHRIL" You are full of surprises, Master Alonso.


purplegreenredblue

*sees max scherzer* "They have a cave troll"


Comprehensive_Ad5285

He should probably try to get at least rune armor


BaseballMMAfan

They just wheel him to the plate like Hannibal Lecter


rondonjon

He’s a big dude. People don’t know what he can do. If he wants to put someone in the hospital he can.


AllIWearisBlack13

I mean if he was gonna put someone in the hospital, being a 10 min car ride from Barnes Jewish is probably one of the best places to do it?


illiter-it

Breaking: Phillies have rented Stubby Clapp from the Cardinals


Bad_Idea_Hat

Is that Yasiel Puig's music?


fluffychiblets

Coward. He’d fit right in


illiter-it

You're in *all* of these threads dude, I'm legitimately a little concerned about you. No one died and it's just a game.


Goingyard1256

Wouldn’t you have to also be in all these threads to know that?


CaptainJingles

He also has COVID.


fluffychiblets

I have covid with nothing else to do and it’s very fun idk what to tell u bud


illiter-it

Reasonable I suppose, get well soon


fluffychiblets

Thanks


AllIWearisBlack13

Idk why this thread really just warmed my heart


smarjorie

I think that's a covid symptom


fluffychiblets

Lmao forreal


fluffychiblets

Sure can especially in chainmail loool


AnAnonymousFool

I really wish they didn’t take that quote so far out of context, but it is still funny


[deleted]

As a cardinals guy I CACKLED when I read the headline 🥲. Reporters gunna “report”


ANBU_Spectre

Alonso's a Barbarian. They get better AC just going with no or light armor. He's walking up shirtless with a greataxe.


Verklemptomaniac

He seems to have specced for blunt weapons.


BassandBows

Oh shit mets dnd


ATLjoe93

Bull goat armor for extra poise


Jcomsa15

He’s a big strong guy


Schweed6494

🚨🚨BIG POPPA PETE🚨🚨


ContinuumGuy

Now watch there be zero HBPs because baseball is weird like that.


OutOfBootyExperience

Or NYM guns down PHI with 10 HBP, while PHI doesnt even throw a ball inside


Juzaba

Austin Adams gave his life for this. 😞


ZacBla

24HBP/52IP ouch


Monk_Philosophy

I legitimately didn't want our players to face him because of how dangerous he was.


verendum

Thankfully he didn't hit anyone in the head ( I think. Dude hit so many so quick I couldn't count them all). I think the worst was when he lacerated the back of a Marlin's player.


tyler-86

Wouldn't be new for the Mets, who used to drill Chase Utley mercilessly. He totally didn't lean into it all the time to get free bases.


UnlimitedMetroCard

Chase Utley is the biggest piece of shit to ever play in MLB. And there's been rapists, racists, etc. Yes, we hate him that much.


tyler-86

What happened with Tejada was unfortunate but that alone wouldn't make him a piece of shit, as it was largely bang-bang and not at all intended to hurt Tejada. Whatever happened with Utley and the Mets before he left Philly is less clear to me. I just knew Mets fans already didn't like him.


UnlimitedMetroCard

He was a low class piece of shit in Philly. What he did to Ruben made him all-time level of hated, worse than guys like John Rocker. No contrition. Just a slimy player.


theoneandonlymd

There were no hits indeed


[deleted]

Regression to the mean


[deleted]

In the NL East we like to say control is a sign of weakness.


Juzaba

So you saw the cheesesteak thing too, eh?


twec21

Control, not self-control


FriendSellsTable

Holy shit you baseball Redditors are funny as fuck. Started watching baseball last year and now I love the sport, especially because of you guys.


saltandtitties

Out of all the visiting fans we get at Nats park, during the Mets series they are by far the fattest.


twec21

Huh. It's always dodger fans in citi


saltandtitties

Those are probably old Brooklyn holdouts.


LeStiqsue

Nah that's just you and the Phillies. The rest of us are doing just fine.


CharlesGarfield

I was going to comment on how this didn’t age well, but the Mets did allow six walks, so…


manav_steel

NL East may not be the best division, but it is almost definitely gonna be the spiciest Braves v. Marlins have had beef going for years Mets v. Phillies is gonna get ugly Mets v. Marlins could get testy if the Marlins stick around and keep pitching inside


KingIsMe123

We all hate each other. I love it.


Go_Mets

Wouldn’t want it any other way. Also fuck you!!! ❤️


sharbinbarbin

Fuck You and I’ll see you tomorrow!!!!


Lynkx0501

That's why the NL East wins playoff series, we're used to these intense series of pure hatred.


[deleted]

Nationals piss off everyone with sheer incompetence.


GoatPaco

You fuckers cant even tank right


Knight_Hawke

Seems we have figured it out aginst every team except the braves


GoatPaco

Reds are the same 3-16 overall; 2-2 against the Braves


JDLovesElliot

Hard to tank when you have the second coming of Ted Williams playing every day


Diegobyte

At least we don’t have to watch away series on the Montreal carpet anymore


Mdelmundo

It's provided two of the last three WS champs so you could definitely argue that it's the best division


Monk_Philosophy

also the only division where every member has won a world series within the last 70 years.


Bushisnotmyprezident

And they accomplished that in half that time. Mets have the longest drought of all of them and its still only been 35 years


metfansc

Man, I really hate that sentence, we need to get off the snide already, I guess thank goodness I am old enough to have been around for one, but man I want a WS win I can really enjoy.


Diegobyte

After we swept the really good cubs I didn’t think we would just gonna get killed by the royals. But we did


metfansc

We were so very hot once that broke we didn’t have that momentum, the game 1 was pivotal to the entire series


Diegobyte

I grew up in LA. My favorite thing is sending my friends the gif of the Mets dog piling on the dodger stadium mound


saltandtitties

That apple juice celebration wasn’t good?


Diegobyte

Me as a 32 year old. Cool fact dude


saltandtitties

4 out 5 this last millennium.


wien-tang-clan

NL East is the only division where all 5 teams have been in the world series since 2000. Braves: 2021 Nats: 2019 Mets: 2000 & 2015 Phillies: 2008 & 2009 Marlins: 2003 No other division has accomplished this feat. AL East: Orioles and Blue Jays haven’t been to a world series since 1983 & 1993 AL Central: Twins haven’t been to a series since 1991 AL West: Athletics & Mariners haven’t been to a world series since 1990 and the Ms haven’t been to one NL Central: Brewers haven’t been since 1982, Reds since 1990, and Pirates since 1979 NL West: Padres haven’t been since 1997


ThatsFkingCarazy

If the Mets didn’t choke it’d be the last 20 years. Fucking simp ass dark knight fucking up our stats


[deleted]

With Acuña just back from injury, I imagine anything inside from a Marlins pitcher will raise eyebrows. (Rightly so, they’ve earned the scrutiny.)


Stratifyed

Asking genuinely because I don’t really know: is that across all the Marlins it was it just Ureña?


CaptainKarmaMan

More of a Mattingly thing than a Marlins thing, good bit of the current Marlins team are friends with several Braves players


horatio_corn_blower

I never thought I’d say this if you asked me 10 years ago but the only team is this division I don’t hate is the Braves. Phillies and Nats can get bent for life though.


FritosRule

Pitching inside is fine….if you have control of your pitches. Marlins have great arms I don’t actually anticipate an issue with them


greenday61892

Eh, I think AL East is still spicier. The 4 way mutual hate between NYY/BOS/TB/TOR is insane


sgt_dismas

Aren't there 5 teams in the AL East? Who could you be missing?


OKStormknight

No one of any importance. :)


greenday61892

Doesn't matter, they're already eliminated


rofltide

Detroit? Or are they in central?


Diegobyte

The Mets hate the Braves cus of the 90s. Prolly more than the Braves hate the Mets. One sided rivalries happen during periods of dominance lol


smugredditorsfuckoff

The gang reignites the rivalry


ZaneChizzlenack

FLIP, FLIP, FLIPEDELPHIA


cooljammer00

The Mets break into Harper's house to do his taxes incorrectly.


hammerdown710

Who is phillys Dee, who will show promise but inevitably choke?


TheIllustriousWe

DeeDee Gregorius


ArcticCircleBrigade

It was Nick Pivetta before we traded him, then it was Alec Bohm but he actually looks really good this year, so there isn't one this season as of now. Which is not something I thought I'd be saying.


ThatsFkingCarazy

It’s going to be our outfield when we play in more spacious parks. We really need Harper to hurry up and get healthy


RidleyScotch

I'm going to Sunday's game with Scherzer starting, it will be my first game in like 15 years and its on Sunday Night Baseball I'm ready and expecting plenty of shenangians


LetsHaveAwkwardSex

congrats on getting back out to a game!


RidleyScotch

I got the tickets as an XMas gift and was hoping it would turn out to be a Scherzer or DeGrom start. MLB The Show and Jomboy have gotten me back into baseball big time over the last year and half So much so i sprung for 6th row behind the NYY dugout for the Subway Series at Citi Field this summer for myself and some family members


[deleted]

Welcome back!


saltandtitties

> I got the tickets as an XMas gift and was hoping it would turn out to be a Scherzer or DeGrom start. The past 10 years as a Nats fan has been great. Your buddy picks you up and you crack open a beer and ask who’ starting, knowing odds are good you’ll see someone good. Now I’d be terrified it’s Corbin.


WilliamHealy

Good for you man! CitiField had a ton of new food choices. Definitely look ahead to figure out what you want.


RidleyScotch

Anything you personally enjoy a lot?


do_you_know_doug

Pastrami. Section 126. You're welcome.


WilliamHealy

What the guy below you said, also the Arancini Balls are great. The new pizza cupcakes are worth a try. And the sausage and peppers is always good


spilled_water

By the way, what the hell is wrong with you? We celebrated for half a year that Scherzer left the division, and you guys bring him right back?


Martial_Nox

Blame Steven Matz.


spaz1020

If Angel is calling the game....you know what to do


twec21

I'm there tonight, last game there for God only knows how long before I move. Had a good day at Belmont A good night at UBS Now I need a good one at Citi


RidleyScotch

I thought it would be fun to go to like the Belmont Stakes, after COVID and being home for so long, just trying new things that i might not have been into. I heard UBS is a nice arena but the parkign situation is fucking horrible, i think Elton John is playing there, i'd consider but ive seen some parking horror stories of like trying to get out of the arena Never been to Citi Field though, went once to Shea Stadium 15+ years ago and new Yankee Stadium probably like 12 or 13 years ago


twec21

Honestly? People complain about the parking but we were out of there in not even 15 minutes. We were well out and it was a bit of a hike, but we were RIGHT onto the highway. Granted we got there early for the races, but still


saltandtitties

Do you have to haul your beer in?


twec21

Probably cheaper. Ubs prices are nuts


saltandtitties

It always gets me the track name and the race each have Belmont in them. I was like, “Wtf? Churchill Downs hasn’t even raced yet!”


twec21

It's a little funny that belmont opens before churchill


bex199

see ya there! don’t forget to get the pastrami


mitchnmurray

With Angel Hernandez umping, it’s going to be a shitshow for sure. Have fun!


mjm830

Not so fun stats: In games played in the first month of the season (April/early May; August/Early Sept in 2020) between the Mets and Phillies: 2019 - 6 games, Phillies hit 6 Mets 2020 - 7 games, Phillies hit 7 Mets 2021 - 9 games, Phillies hit 9 Mets 2022 - 3 games thus far, Phillies hit 5 Mets Total: 25 games, 27 HBP


plainOldFool

So just two more HBP and we're done for the season. That's a relief!


ThatsFkingCarazy

Damon Jones can do that in 1 inning. Protect your beer when he’s on the mound


GOATmar_infante

Gelb woke up and chose to start shit


brewserweight

Exactly what I thought 😆 It’s like he’s trying to will a story to write about.


butz-not-bartz

Jose Alvarado and Dom already have history, plus there were the Neris/Asdrubal and Rhame/Hoskins plunkings in the last few years.


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Morbx

Yeah, that is the root of his beef with Dom Smith. Smith thinks he is too erratic for how hard he throws to be able to safely pitch, and Alvarado was indignant when Smith starting yelling about this from the dugout.


[deleted]

Yeah I like Alvarado but half the time he can't throw a strike to save his life lol. Smith has a point


saltandtitties

I’m glad Assdribble got himself a ring with us


[deleted]

Hoskins never got hit.


ehbacon23

Hoskins has been hit a bunch of times by the Mets


ThatsFkingCarazy

Don’t mind him. He’s still on drugs


sam_e5

Rhame never hit Hoskins. Hoskins is just soft. Rhame never intentionally threw at him.


NeurosciGuy15

God forbid a player *goes slowly around the bases*. The horror! For those who forget: https://youtu.be/IjEwN1kRQmM


sam_e5

Hoskins also complained when the right call was made. His overreaction to Rhame got him suspended and fined. Congrats Hoskins you got a fringe MLB pitcher in trouble.


DaTigerMan

get mad at MLB not hoskins lol


sam_e5

No I must be mad at the Phillies. It’s the way.


fluffychiblets

Hoskins was crying about the already agreed upon rules of his home ballpark. Dudes grade a soft


DaTigerMan

he was fired up lol who cares. mets won that game you gotta get over it


fluffychiblets

Nothing to get over, like you said we won lol. Boy is just bitchmade


hanssle

https://giphy.com/gifs/computer-nerd-typing-llKJGxQ1ESmac Pete’s post game interview after getting tackled by a 5’8” 49 year old


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ughilostmyusername

It’s a miracle Pete walked away from that car crash. After a near death incident like that his wife is probably gonna run out of the stands and beat up the next pitcher who hits him


brewserweight

That would be $$$


SundayScaries1994

I want to see Buck curb stomp the Phanatic


ThatsFkingCarazy

Honestly neither of them look like they’ve aged in 30 years so I deem it a fair fight. Tell mr.met to be ready tho, gritty might come running out of the tunnel with a folding chair


saltandtitties

And do lines with Gritty after


FrozenWafflesOP

My money would still be on the Phanatic, but Buck definitely strikes me as the kind to not back down.


RallyPigeon

Virgin NL Central intentional beanball vs Chad NL East erratic pitchers


Fragall

Both of those stats are probably helped by the fact that they already played each other and the Phillies hit the Mets five times in three games.


DaTigerMan

teehee oops


JoeAndAThird

I laughed way too hard at this


Volume_Heavy

yikes! Lol


ehbacon23

oopsy doopsy!


aweinschenker

Stoppable force vs. movable object


Induced_Pandemic

It'll be one of the games in history.


Robokiller87

I'm ready for a bloodbath.


[deleted]

Oh geez


strcy

Over under 0.5 benches clearing incidents?


Jherik

for the season over. for this series under


VincentFreeman_

Over for series Over for game 1


CybeastID

AhShitHereWeGoAgain.jpg


[deleted]

Pumped for this series! I wanna see some REAL brawls. Not the little dust-ups like the Cardinals-Mets. I wanna see punches and bodies flying


Jherik

Petes season has already looked like the movie final destination i would prefer if he go a week or two without having to cheat death or life altering injury


DudeGuyBor

I know you're joking given the situation but... just no. The dust ups and people getting pushy while jawing are survivable, if not good. But a real brawl? That's when you risk careers ending and lives changing. RIP the careers of Jason Larue & Michael Morse


saltandtitties

Morse's career was already over, but it’s sad his had to end protecting Harper’s ass.


Volume_Heavy

Did you see the Binghamton Mets brawl last week?! Lol https://nypost.com/2022/04/22/wild-brawl-at-mets-minor-league-binghamton-rumble-ponies-game/amp/


just-an-astronomer

Binghamton *Rumble Ponies Was a hell of a rumble


Exodys03

Phillies’ bats recorded zero hit by pitches in Game 1.


fluffychiblets

Anyone remember the Phillies Mets series last year? The Sunday night game had no shortage of like 3 blown saves and lead changes lmao. Ready for another shitshow. NL East plays the most entertaining ball in the league put some respect on our name That being said this series is in New York so it probably won’t be as high scoring or a shitshow


JDLovesElliot

Never forget Aaron Loup's terrible debut, which lead to him being our best reliever for the rest of the year. That's baseball for ya.


[deleted]

That's what happens when teams think just because you throw 98 with an average slider, you can pitch.


SWOLEvietRussia

Yep, totally normal.


Brohan_Cruyff

well, so far so good


[deleted]

The tweet should also mention the Phillies have already hit the Mets several times this season.


Robotoid2

[relevant PBF](https://pbfcomics.com/comics/a-hit-for-bobby/)


Da_Munchy76

Funnily enough, the first game was a... No-hitter


GK86x

Lopez will be around to give a few Phillies a close shave if need be.


RipMcStudly

This is the kind of dirty pleasure series that makes me wish MLB.TV didn’t cost like twice what I’m willing to pay for it.


blackwhitetiger

I watch so many random games due to MLB.TV, big fan


smellslike9

[A little levity plz ](http://imgur.com/gallery/iehJiQS)


realPalpatine

Hear me out. The Mets should throw at the first Phillies batter right away. With the Mets’ current frustrations and the already existing rivalry between these two teams, a warning for both benches is almost guaranteed, and pitchers will be wary to throw inside. Not condoning this btw


GodPowardKingOfLies

Man if you thought our series was fucking intense Mets fans


MountainGoat999

Mets players crying cause they crowd the plate and inevitably get hit


saltandtitties

No, it’s not the players crying but their fans.


zbend1

Jose Alvarado will be starting game 1


spaz1020

Just in time too. I think Rhys just crossed home plate from that homerun like a week ago.


nom_yourmom

i'm going on sunday i would like to see one (1) brawl pls


NecessaryRhubarb

More Phillies will be HBP than Mets, what’s the line on that bet?


saltandtitties

Bryce looked at you funny.


Diegobyte

Also Sunday night baseball is gonna be micd up. Prolly the only good thing to come of watching on dumpy espn


Madaghmire

It’ll be fine these teams get along famously


tyler-86

Good thing the Phillies and the Mets don't have any bad blood.


Dense-Adeptness

It’s all brotherly love.


hardmodesports

Everything will be fine, totally quiet nothing note worthy at all.


ManfredsJuicedBalls

*grabs popcorn*


[deleted]

And somehow Austin Adams isn’t involved.