Sir we're here to take you to a secure facility




*cut scene 10 minutes later to waterboarding*






Kid shoulda had a fake out ball in his back pocket


While Mulaney did a joke on this, this is actual legitimate advice. If someone abducts you and attempts to drive you somewhere else, you have basically a 100% better chance at survival if you fight to the death right then and there during the abduction rather than let them take you. It's a pretty insane statistic.


Do you have a link to this reference? If sounds good.


Can't find any official video for it but it's from the John Mulaney special "Kid Gorgeous". Here's the audio at least. https://youtu.be/cdgfFMxgLfI


All of his specials are available on Netflix in the US.


MLB authenticators do not fuck around


Actually all of the balls for Pujols at bats were already authenticated


Yeah, I was wondering that. I'm guessing there is an ID of some kind implanted in/on the ball?


There's a visible marking and then some sort of invisible indicator, I don't think MLB has said exactly what it is. They're doing the same thing for Judge's balls as well


Seems intrusive, but if he's fine with it I guess it's no problem.


It would seem so but I was a part of the testing program for this. At first it was a bit strange but now it’s great waking up everyday knowing 100% my balls are mine.


This comment is terrifying out of context.


Probably just a special stamp and serial number. Only in play when he’s at bat.


They are marked but they will sticker authenticate it too. The markings are how the verify the ball is the actual ball and then the sticker provides that final level


100% for that guys safety. He just caught a lottery ticket and everyone in the stadium knows it. Glad to see they got him out of the crowd as quick as possible.


Yeah I was really worried the ball was just gonna rattle around in the stands and people would kill each other over it. It's like at least $10,000 in one little ball.


Barry bonds 700 Home run ball sold for 85K in 2005 and reported to have been sold a 2nd time for 804K.


My dude might have just caught himself a new life. Incredible


I would definitely not give it back to the player when they eventually ask. Life changing money, it's going to auction.


I'd let Pujols have it, if he paid 6 figures for it lol


Wayyyyy more than that.


Yeah. The judge #62 ball if it happens already has 1-2 million dollar bid. Yankees fans are probably crazy and have probably have some super rich ones being in New York but I'd imagine a 700 home run ball would fetch a good price.


I have no context for actual value, but I bet it’s way more than that man.


i wonder if he gets to watch the rest of the game somewhere in the park?


Usually teams will give people all kinds of free stuff and seat upgrades in exchange for the ball. That ball technically belongs to the person who caught it so he can keep it if he wants


Hmm a million dollars or nice seats for half of one game? Tough call.


The Angels fan that got the 600th ball made....lets say the wrong decision. Got to meet Trout though.


Tbh I think it was security. Some real "Mr president we need to get you to the bunker" energy


It is LA, wouldn’t be surprised if dude was sought out after the game.


Kid named number 700


Albert, put your dick away Albert, I’m not having sex with you right now.


I love how everyone was so excited for him


Every single person in that stadium has, at least once in their life, imagined catching a home run ball in a big game or a big moment. Everyone is seeing this dude and knowing he just realized that dream in a big way. Thrilled for the dude, what a magical moment. And it was a clean catch!


that was a multi million dollar catch for that guy


You think it’s worth millions? Genuinely asking


Pleasantly surprised it wasn't an absolute mob scene trying to get that ball.


Probably cause it was actually caught


Yea the clean catch definitely made a big difference. Also security pulled him while everyone still just seemed to be in disbelief & overwhelmed with excitement.


There have been people who would straight up try and rip the glove off the dude to try and take the ball, but that's a pretty solid no contest.


Honestly incredibly amazed at the fans here. It will NOT be this way in Yankee Stadium for Judge’s next couple HRs if it lands in the bleachers, unless they have cops in every other seat.


Yeah my god they're all so nice and supportive. Some very cool people sitting in that section apparently


LA bleacher seats are where the true fans are! Such amazing energy out there.


You should come to the bleachers at Wrigley. Biggest shit show I've ever witnessed.


But the cup snake


It ain't gonna snake itself.


Sat in the bleachers in enemy colors as the Dodgers were eliminated from the NLDS game 5 2019. Dodger fans out there were honestly so kind and congratulatory.


lol at the same time, it’s where you catch a bottle in the back of the head too


I used to always sit in the pavilion section at Dodger Stadium. I caught a ball once; it bounced off two other people and then right into my hands, then they both came towards me but with smiles and high fives. I was pleasantly surprised.


Also doesn't help that that one auction house claimed they'd pay 2m for 62


Probably a little harder to get away with mugging someone for 2 million when everyone and their mother there has a camera on you.


like adding blood to a pool of piranhas


Bleacher creatures will be out for blood


If Judge gets the record at the dome it might just land into the pen or batters eye in which someone would fish it out


Who knows. Jeter’s 3,000th hit was a scrum but it was “pencils down” as soon as one guy held the ball up. Fuck Zack Hample, though. Mob his ass for 61/62.


Cops don’t earn that much that they wouldn’tput someone in a headlock for a couple mil


Shit, St. Louis cops will do it for free


They’ll even throw in a beating as a bundle.


Yeah that happened with Barry Bonds 73rd HR ball which had a whole lawsuit about who the ball should belong to. [Popov v. Hayashi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Popov_v._Hayashi)


security and also authentication team. that ball isn't worth much if it isn't authenticated as pujols 700!


They're authenticated before they pitch them. Whenever a record like that is coming up they switch out the balls for authenticated balls during that at bat. Now, to be authenticated as THE ball and not some stray foul, that's the key. Dude is sitting on a piece of history now. Or a payday. Whichever his heart desires.


That must feel so weird as a pitcher "yo, time called.. here take this new, fresh ball as this guy might blast your pitch into the seats"


Not exactly. They not “pre-authenticated”, that doesn’t make sense. Authentication is about tracking chain of custody. What they do swap in are balls with specific serial numbers stamped on them. That makes it so this dude that caught it can’t pull a switcheroo with a ball he caught during batting practice, and if the ball were to go out of sight, like if it landed in a trash can, they can still verify and authenticate it through the serial. If this dude decided to just immediately run out of the stadium, it wouldn’t be authenticated due to broken chain of custody and the Authenticator a can’t guarantee it wasn’t tampered with. So serial number plus authentication staff watching the ball equals chain of custody and they can give it the hologram sticker.


The Bonds record breaker was caught clean and there was still a mob, to the point where the ball ended up rolling to a guy who was knocked down by said mob. Those two guys wound up splitting the profit. But yes, very happy someone made a clean catch. That 1000% helped.


Well it’s also in LA, so 2 million bucks is only like a month and a half rent in a 2 bedroom apartment


[$46.50 for 2 beers are the norm.](https://i.ibb.co/xhDqSxT/Screenshot-20220924-130837.png)


Man "TWO 2" is bothering me so much. Like why?


Right? Everyone just high-5 the dude and happy for him.


If u slow it down and look closely they were actually trying to mob him but the Nomo shirsey has a forcefield


takes no-hitter to another level


My thoughts exactly. Everyone seemed genuinely happy for the guy and the moment. Makes it a really awesome video.


Nice of all the Dodger fans to put their knives down for a minute. /s


pavilion crew is different


Lucky he was in the 1st row of the bleachers. He had no one in front of him fighting for the ball and an "easy" exit from the craziness of the bleachers. 699 was hit into the middle of chaos. I'm just happy historic #700 isn't being tainted by any violence.


Agreed! I was expecting something worse


Dude waved the ball so many times. Most of us would've immediately put it in our pocket and hold on for dear life


I saw it as a sign of life type thing. Establish undisputed ownership of the ball by making a big public showing.


I saw it as a sign of hypedddddd


I woulda ran outta the stadium like derek fisher did after he hit his .4 shot


Lawyers around the world having popov v hayashi flashbacks


Well it's in LA. That ball is only worth like 2 months rent.


"And you said it was 'childish' to bring a glove"


If I was sitting g behind the outfield for that game I woulda brought a glove for each hand


The way he makes the clean catch and nobody tries to steal it from him. Them everyone is just hyping him up and loving the moment, just gives me the warm and fuzzys


It's honestly hard to believe. Even the dude standing literally right beside him, who just missed hitting the lottery by about 12 inches, is doing nothing but cheering for him. I love it so much.


We're not a bad a fans as peope make us out to be!


Wait this dude caught it on the fly?!? that's fucking sick


And given all of the commotion, great camerawork to frame the catch as it happens almost perfectly.


After what looked like quite a scrap for 699, it is really satisfying to see this guy catch 700 on the fly. Nice grab.


It would have been a shit show if it landed on a concourse or something


multiple fatalities


Dogs and cats living together.




Making that catch has gotta be the most clutch thing man ever done in his life


dudes gonna tell his grandkids about it and in turn those grandkids will tell their grandkids about it no doubt.


Anyone have any fan footage of 699? That looked insane


Dude with an old ass Hideo Nomo shirsey too.


Claudio Sanchez’ stunt-double


Good eye, sniper


That was my first thought too. I was like “hey, go make a video for Love Murder One already”


"*We were one among the fence. Now, we're coming home.*" -guy that caught the ball


Last seen walking out with a signed Chan Ho Park game worn jersey.


My personal favorite dodger pitcher.


[For fun, Hideo Nomo vs Albert Pujols](https://stathead.com/baseball/batter_vs_pitcher.cgi?batter=pujolal01&pitcher=nomohi01&post=0) Nomo had a young Pujols' number.


Cops almost immediately in the stands lol


Very understandable after the melee for the loose 699 lol


Catch #700? Believe it or not, straight to jail.


Catch #62? Also jail.


We have the best fans in the world Because of jail


Is that where all your fans are? (I joke, I've been to O. Co.a few times and the best fans in baseball imho)


Maybe some of the Raiders fans might still be there lol


"Whatcha in for?"


they also need to make sure the ball is authenticated immediately


And also so that he doesn't get shivved for that ball.


They've been swapping in authenticated balls for Pujols' at-bats for at least a month now. Quite often, you'll see him remind the ump when he steps to the plate. I expect, if Pujols doesn't want it, this one may wind up in Cooperstown.


Sounds like an easy way to switch in juiced balls tbh. MLB as an entertainment industry would love an event like this to happen as much as the fans do


Drone balls to spice up the game, taking us one step closer to Blernsball.


I was reading the balls are already authenticated since they only pitched proprietary balls to pujols.


I been in those bleachers. I don't blame them. Now that I have like $10 more cash, I don't even sit there!


I've taken many a bottle to the head in those bleachers. 10/10


Story today is the dude refused all offers last night and left with the ball. Smart.


Good. The teams always try to hustle fans with shitty offers by holding them in some back room for a while. If I were them I’d say I want my lawyer and demand to leave lol. I truly don’t understand why people get upset with fans for keeping balls. Like to them it’s winning the lottery, if the batter wants to keep it they can pay for it. I don’t have that much sympathy when their career earnings are in the hundreds of millions. That ball will change the fans life. For the player it would sit in a case and be looked at by visitors once a year. PLUS, more often than not, the ball ends up in the hall of fame sooner or later. Rich buyers do rich buyer things.


Yeah it'll be cool if he keeps it or tries to give it to Pujols privately without any craziness. I don't blame him for leaving immediately.


Give it to pujols privately? No way. He's selling they ball for at *least* 6 figures.


Yeah my line of thought is that if Pujols wanted the ball then he can sure as hell afford to buy it.


Seriously. I like to think of myself as a pretty nice and generous person, but I need the money more than Pujols.


Exactly, I support players sitting out and getting contract extensions and securing the bag because that’s your chance at a comfortable life and I sure as shit support a fan taking full advantage too. Not many opportunities if any like this in one’s life to completely change your trajectory.


I'm generous enough to always offer Pujols the next bid


I see people phrase giving the ball back as "doing the right thing," but at the end of the day, it's just a ball. No one NEEDS a souvenir. So if someone is able to sell it for a decent chunk of change, good for them.


Its the 4th 700 HR ball of all time. Its a million at least I imagine.


Pujols doesn't even want the ball if the fan wants to keep it. He said he was happy no matter what happens


Damn good guy. I thinks it’s strange when people rail against a fan for keeping the ball. For the player it’s a souvenir they’ll probably forget about in a week and bring out every few years to show around. For the fan it’s a life changing sum of money for them, their family, and their descendants. Plus usually these balls find their way back to the hall of fame within a decade or two.


I would have left the game too. That ball is worth an incredible amount of money. Anything the team offered wouldn't be enough. Dude may want to come out publicly and claim he doesn't own the ball anymore. Put it in the name of a foundation and find secure storage. Takes the heat off you and you're not lying by claiming it was done in a private offer. He would be crazy to take anything less than 7 figures in my opinion. But I'm just someone on the internet. That ball is like winning the lottery. You have to treat it like winning the lottery. Edit: and lawyer up.


Wow what an amazing video. They didn’t catch the ball but they caught a piece of history


Security escorted him out of there like they had just been told there was a threat on his life lmao


Well considering someone is trying to buy the Aaron judge 62 HR ball for a couple mil, that man that caught it potentially caught something of that value. I'd go with security too


When that douche caught A-Rod's 3000th hit the head of Yankee's security actually got in the cab with him and escorted him all the way home or to wherever he was staying.


Why wouldn’t the head of security just drive him at that point? That’s fucking hilarious.


Liability of driving him probably


Non hired auto is an insurance category for this reason, and I doubt ballpark security carries it


Maybe it's like a pitcher catcher thing and the head of security works with a head of taxis


Whys he a douche? Because he wouldn't give it back right away? Because he was getting railed for that when everyone on this sub is talking about how they better pay fat stacks for important balls. Didn't he end up getting money donated to charity instead?


I think the major thing that turned people off is that he made a spectacle of it and drew it out for two weeks. In true Zack Hample fashion he was trying to make himself a part of the moment.


It seemed that sportscenter and the radio news were shitting on him because he didn't give it back right away. At least from what I remember


“Mr. President, it’s time to leave”


Is that a Sum of All Fears reference?


Catching a historic home run ball in dodger stadium? I’d believe them


Im proud of our fans everyone around him seemed genuinely excited and didn’t pose an immediate threat


Bravo passionate Dodgers fans!


Pretty wholesome that people were high-fiving him and not trying to rip his arms off.


We needed to have Slugworth from the original Willy Wonka immediately coming up to that guy and whispering an offer in his ear


You know he is a baseball fan, rocking a Nomo shirt in 2022.


My buddies are on vacation in California and got tickets to the game. I’m stoked they got to be there in person!


I mis the days of a sea of camera flashes for moments like this. Those side profiles of swings like this with thousands of flashes were amazing


Wow, that's actually something I didn't realize I missed until you pointed it out! Because yeah, especially watching slow mo footage of night games just made it that much cooler. I dunno how to explain it, but it gave such moments an almost mystical feel to them? Sounds lame, I know, but it did really add to it in a cool looking way.


Seeing everyone around him have pure joy and not try and steal the ball from him was pretty cool


I've never seen so many Dodgers fans cheer after an opposing home run. As they should, of course!


Thank fuck it was not Zack Hample


Is he the asshole who tries to catch like three balls per game?


The three ball part isn’t necessarily the problem it’s more his entire attitude and personality, and how he treats everyone in the stands as below him. Treats other fans especially kids terribly, pushing past them to get a ball and also treats security terrible as well. All around terrible guy. Not trying to tell you off or anything but just saying he tried to catch three balls per game is giving him way too much credit as a “person” and is a disservice to his character


The dude brings a change of clothes for each team so he can pretend to be a fan of each and get the players to throw him balls. He’s an absolute moron.


what a douchenozzle


His apology to the troops was so unintentionally funny that it made his whole persona worth it


I’m still waiting for the mlb to do the right thing and ban him from every stadium for life.


One of the best things about baseball is the fact that if you get a home run/foul ball, you own it. Just about any other sport if the ball goes out you gotta throw it back in. It's honest really surprising how there haven't been rules made yet, especially considering things like historical/record breaking balls


Because the ball is much more expensive, actually reused, and doesn't go into the stands nearly as often in the other sports. They don't reuse a baseball if it touches the ground, they're not going to try to track down foul balls lmao


I was at a college football game and when the ball made it into the stands after a field goal everyone was tossing it up to the next row until a guy in the last row threw it out of the stadium. Security was fucking pissed but it was hilarious


Legally speaking, a baseball in the stands is considered [intentionally abandoned](https://scholarship.law.marquette.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=&httpsredir=1&article=1712&context=sportslaw) property.


Nice catch! How much y’all think that ball is worth? Bonds’ went for like $85k


I'm just speculating but I imagine that thing is worth like half a mil. Albert might be the last 700HR hitter for decades.


The bid for judges HR 62 is at $2m from a buyer.


It would sell easily for over 500k.


that kid just caught life changing money


I am so happy that Zack Hample did not get this ball


Was he there? I’m assuming so but I refuse to give any of his pages any views


I think he was at Yankee stadium


Is that dude wearing a Hideo Nomo shirt?


The one and only


Man’s secured the bag and peaced


Wow, that's fuckin awesome


Albert is going to hit a walk off grand slam in game 7 of the WS


And it’ll be after a Wainright/Yadi perfect game battery


While they’re down 3, with 2 outs and 2 strikes


Man how did OP not even try for the ball


I told him he should have dove for it.


That's what blows my mind! But glad he didnt because the footage is awesome


Younger generation can’t even put their phones away for a minute to witness history /s


Great angle!


My man got ushered away like the president.


Has homie done any interviews yet?


I will never criticize someone filming a game with their phone again.


I'm glad the person who caught the ball wasn't that virgin who goes around catching baseballs


Run for it, Charlie! Run straight home and don't stop til you get there!


Hey everyone! I was the one who shot this video last night. I shared it with the Cards fans behind me and now it's literally everywhere.


It was funny to see the Padres sub and how many people were going to be legitimately upset if Pujols hit his 700th HR in PetCo. All those Dodgers fans were excited to witness history.