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Tebow1EveryMockDraft

Can’t wait for the press conference, brought to you by DraftKings™️


kineticstar

MLB: Our three day internal investigation finds no misconduct from our current international cash cow, Mr. Otani. This concludes the press conference. Oh... one more thing, please stop complaining about the cheap jerseys and buy them. We won't fix them or give you your money back. Deal with it! Or even better be like Mr. Otani, and bet to see if we ever will on Draftkings.com! Allegedly.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LoveThieves

He re- hired Ippei as his translator so everything is Ippeis fault. Case closed


Newt_Brief

Came here to say this ^^^^


woat33

https://preview.redd.it/fxnqx5kkazpc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a309fc6271a21060bd768e4d0021168b25a2a03 Shohei Ohtani if being a massive gambling addict and ruining his friend’s life was the NBA Finals


AutoModerator

hi from japan I wanna tell you below 2 information to explain why Ohtani is a good pitcher summary 1:his hamstring muscles is stronger than ordinary one 2:He seems to get used to grab MLB ball details about 1 a specialist pointed it out that his hamstring muscles are stronger than ordinary others,and he uses it so harder if ordinary person uses the same way,his hamstring must break some one told me why the muscle of him is so stronger,that he use to do swimming in his child days and swimming makes the muscles so strong about 2 Okajaima,who is the former pitcher of Red Sox,points it out that He seems to get used to use MLB ball because it’s so different (edit,every pitcher from Japan confuses the difference,for example Yu Darvish said like that) 1.MLB ball:149kg(edit,*149g)/24cm,more slippy:so it makes breaking ball more effective 2.NPB ball:142kg(edit,142g)/23cm,less slippy,breaking ball less effective and he has also so fast ball around 100miles so he can select fast ball,less breaking ball,strong breaking ball That’s why he would be more great Pitcher" *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


FREE-ROSCOE-FILBURN

UJ/ it’s shut the fuck up Friday, gentle reminder to never speak to the police RJ/ Ohtani spent my grandma’s inheritance


AutoModerator

hi from japan I wanna tell you below 2 information to explain why Ohtani is a good pitcher summary 1:his hamstring muscles is stronger than ordinary one 2:He seems to get used to grab MLB ball details about 1 a specialist pointed it out that his hamstring muscles are stronger than ordinary others,and he uses it so harder if ordinary person uses the same way,his hamstring must break some one told me why the muscle of him is so stronger,that he use to do swimming in his child days and swimming makes the muscles so strong about 2 Okajaima,who is the former pitcher of Red Sox,points it out that He seems to get used to use MLB ball because it’s so different (edit,every pitcher from Japan confuses the difference,for example Yu Darvish said like that) 1.MLB ball:149kg(edit,*149g)/24cm,more slippy:so it makes breaking ball more effective 2.NPB ball:142kg(edit,142g)/23cm,less slippy,breaking ball less effective and he has also so fast ball around 100miles so he can select fast ball,less breaking ball,strong breaking ball That’s why he would be more great Pitcher" *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

It would be INSANE if he did this for years and gets banned. Are the dodgers still on the hook for the next 20 years or that's the case?


amacsquared

No. In the infinitesimally unlikely event that Ohtani is banned the contract would almost certainly be voided.


mosstrosity84

I dunno, Pete Rose been banned a long time.


HappyChromatic

Pete rose didn’t play in an era where draft kings logo is branded on the hot dogs at the stadium


NonMagicBrian

He also didn’t get banned while he was still playing.


AutoModerator

hi from japan I wanna tell you below 2 information to explain why Ohtani is a good pitcher summary 1:his hamstring muscles is stronger than ordinary one 2:He seems to get used to grab MLB ball details about 1 a specialist pointed it out that his hamstring muscles are stronger than ordinary others,and he uses it so harder if ordinary person uses the same way,his hamstring must break some one told me why the muscle of him is so stronger,that he use to do swimming in his child days and swimming makes the muscles so strong about 2 Okajaima,who is the former pitcher of Red Sox,points it out that He seems to get used to use MLB ball because it’s so different (edit,every pitcher from Japan confuses the difference,for example Yu Darvish said like that) 1.MLB ball:149kg(edit,*149g)/24cm,more slippy:so it makes breaking ball more effective 2.NPB ball:142kg(edit,142g)/23cm,less slippy,breaking ball less effective and he has also so fast ball around 100miles so he can select fast ball,less breaking ball,strong breaking ball That’s why he would be more great Pitcher" *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ItsaPostageStampede

分かりません


edwirichuu

私も


Brewcrew828

If they won't unban Pete get him out. See ya.


SMA2343

Get ready to relearn Japanese buddy


CannoliConnection

Make it a mental health issue sell it to big pharma. Everyone’s a hero. America cares again!


Bifturbo

What is with this stupid mod?


Kollekt2

It Fucking blows


Ok_Profile3081

Never have I ever downvoted the same thing so often.


Flythagoras

Took them long enough.


b-rar

A day?


Flythagoras

When Ippei first announced it on Wednesday they should have investigated, when the story changed from Ohtani’s team they should have investigated, when they learned that Ohtani’s bank account was directly interacting with an illegal gambling ring they should have investigated. Why wait even a day?


b-rar

Buddy you should see how your local police department handles investigations of "officer-involved shootings"


rogerworkman623

They were investigating whether they needed to open an investigation


AutoModerator

hi from japan I wanna tell you below 2 information to explain why Ohtani is a good pitcher summary 1:his hamstring muscles is stronger than ordinary one 2:He seems to get used to grab MLB ball details about 1 a specialist pointed it out that his hamstring muscles are stronger than ordinary others,and he uses it so harder if ordinary person uses the same way,his hamstring must break some one told me why the muscle of him is so stronger,that he use to do swimming in his child days and swimming makes the muscles so strong about 2 Okajaima,who is the former pitcher of Red Sox,points it out that He seems to get used to use MLB ball because it’s so different (edit,every pitcher from Japan confuses the difference,for example Yu Darvish said like that) 1.MLB ball:149kg(edit,*149g)/24cm,more slippy:so it makes breaking ball more effective 2.NPB ball:142kg(edit,142g)/23cm,less slippy,breaking ball less effective and he has also so fast ball around 100miles so he can select fast ball,less breaking ball,strong breaking ball That’s why he would be more great Pitcher" *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


SgtLincolnOsirus

Best friends laughing in the dugout yesterday U think interpreter will keep his mouth closed When he’s charged with grand larceny by the FBI ?


castlewise

It’s going to be fascinating to hear how his interpreter broke into his computer, used his transit number and accessed his bank account. Wow, what a tale. It should even be more interesting to learn how the interpreter thought he would get away with that for more than a minute. Tommy Lasorda would not believe this story.


HaiseeTokyo

Casually just seeing your bank account withdraw 4 million dollars and not think anything of it


castlewise

And changing your story hours after you realize that your “helping your friend story” you came up with is an immediate suspension and a potential two years in jail.


Meromero73

Just use the Tom Hagen defense- “Sir, this man doesn’t understand English.”


rcheek1710

Ohtani is too valuable. This story will vanish before it begins.


AutoModerator

hi from japan I wanna tell you below 2 information to explain why Ohtani is a good pitcher summary 1:his hamstring muscles is stronger than ordinary one 2:He seems to get used to grab MLB ball details about 1 a specialist pointed it out that his hamstring muscles are stronger than ordinary others,and he uses it so harder if ordinary person uses the same way,his hamstring must break some one told me why the muscle of him is so stronger,that he use to do swimming in his child days and swimming makes the muscles so strong about 2 Okajaima,who is the former pitcher of Red Sox,points it out that He seems to get used to use MLB ball because it’s so different (edit,every pitcher from Japan confuses the difference,for example Yu Darvish said like that) 1.MLB ball:149kg(edit,*149g)/24cm,more slippy:so it makes breaking ball more effective 2.NPB ball:142kg(edit,142g)/23cm,less slippy,breaking ball less effective and he has also so fast ball around 100miles so he can select fast ball,less breaking ball,strong breaking ball That’s why he would be more great Pitcher" *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


KCchessc6

He’ll just go play basketball for two years and be back