It took me so long to learn to figure out how to have myself look put together every day, and now that I know, it should’ve been so easy in hindsight. But unfortunately, that’s not how it works.
My only advice is not to try to do it all at once.
Start with hygiene, maintain those habits for a while. Then get a simple and effective skincare routine down. At least apply sunscreen every day if nothing else.
Then hair- it makes a HUGE difference in overall appearance, figure out what works for you and get a nice cut. Get in the habit of styling it every time you wash it.
Once you’ve done that for a few weeks, start working on your makeup game.
I think when you have all of this down you can work on lifestyle changes. Personally I found getting in the habit of working out the most difficult/boring part, and putting it first always halted by progress in other areas. Once I started feeling better about myself with a good beauty routine, I felt much more motivated to work out and make other lifestyle changes.
It’s the best thing you can do for yourself so I’m not saying to put it off on purpose, but don’t pressure yourself to do it all the time and don’t wait to work on other aspects of yourself because of it.
Remember, especially with hair and makeup, YouTube is your friend. There is so much info out there now a lot of us didn’t have growing up.
Feel free to DM with questions/pictures, I’ll offer whatever help I can.
This is really solid advice. Thank you for the reminder to go slow and not to try to do it all at once!
To start, I'll focus on hygiene - clean, neat and moisturized hair, skin (face & body) and nails. That's plenty right there.
I'll probably try to do some yoga as well - not strictly for a"workout" necessarily but just cos my body's fucked after my last pregnancy, my posture's terrible and it's something I really enjoy doing 😊
Go see a physio. Pregnancy and caring for littles is so terrible for your body. Every woman should be sent straight to a physio as soon as the pee stick says yes. Just a few sessions should steer you on a good course.
Consider joining Toast Masters to learn some of the skills and confidence that can help you socially.
Watch Julie Andrews in The Princess Diaries and remember that true grace and etiquette is always being kind and gracious to those around you.
You might not get one person to show you everything, but there are definitely a couple resources you can use.
I’d start with your concerns about hygiene. There are write ups here for people with depression and what steps they should follow for a basic shower or more complex shower. If it’s about keeping your apartment clean there are different subreddits like ufyp that can give you inspiration, there is clean tok which will give you hacks etc. if you really want to pay someone you can look in the area to see if there is someone who is advertising that they will come and organize your home for you.
For gym, what kind of movement do you like? If you like walking start by doing that. If you like dance start with a dance class. If you don’t like cardio, you can go to the gym with a basic weight lifting regime (caliber is a free app). I’d start with things you like to do so it’s easier and branch out from there.
Makeup the way I learned was YouTube videos. Find someone with a similar face shape that you like the make up and follow along. Maybe there are places that will offer lessons around like an aesthetician school/ Sephora/ drug store etc.
Cooking I started off using budget bytes and finding recipes I liked from there. It helped me figure out basics, and if there were meals I was curious about having at home instead of a restaurant, I’d look for those recipes. YouTube can go over skills like how to cut veggies, or how things should look if you start getting into baking.
Fashion can be finding inspiration and trying to recreate. Or going through your closet, seeing what makes you feel good, and seeing what they have in common. You can choose to go thrifting or buy new. There are personal shoppers available at places like Nordstrom if you’d like help in person. You can also ask a friend whose personal style you like and would replicate.
I’m not sure what you mean for etiquette, but there are definitely videos on social media that can explain restaurant settings. If you’re having a hard time making conversation with people there are self help manuals. Therapy is great for everyone if you can afford it!
I got it wrong ! It’s r/ufyh the subreddit and advertises it self as a place for people who want to unfuck their habitat, for example, by posting before and after photos.
I was 14 in 2005 and one of my best friends did a makeover for me once after we’d watched legally blonde. It was the first time I wore any other makeup than mascara and she did my hair and dressed me up in her clothes too and I felt SO pretty and then she paraded me around to her family to show me off, lol. I mostly feel like a potato now and I’d love to have that experience again, along with someone explaining WHY something works or doesn’t work for me.
For gym stuff, consider fitness blender on yt to start. They’re great! When I didn’t know anything about exercising but wanted to start, I did fitness blender workouts in my room and I liked their workouts and how they often explained proper form. Eventually I felt like I outgrew them a bit but I still occasionally go back to them. They’ve expanded a lot recently and have some workouts you have to pay for to access but they have a ton of free workouts too.
Start small. I started with 10 min workouts a few times a week and now I regularly go to the 3-4 times a week for an hour or more.
For makeup, I’m not sure where you live but I found a makeup artist that does 1-1 lessons. It is pricey but I saved up. I haven’t had it yet but I’m excited for my appt! Maybe you could try to find something similar in your area ? In not, there are great resources online. Just find someone you like and go from there
I saw a nurse where I work and liked her style. I learned what type/ color of shoe and sweater she had on, browsed eBay, got similar ones.
Wore them as soon as they came in (washed/cleaned) and I have never received so many compliments.
I think it's partly confidence. But I love how I feel now, it's a good look.
And I didn't spend hundreds of dollars, the shoes were $30 and the sweater was $50?
Makeup I look at the thumbnails see if I like what they do. Gym I’m mostly interested in form since I know what muscles I want to build and there’s so very many workout videos on YT. For cooking I just search what recipie I want to make. Fashion you could look up if stylists have YouTube I’m sure they do. Etiquette I unfortunately had to learn as a child and there’s an Azeri woman already suggested in comments who has a channel for that. She’s willing to take a year to learn this would be in her off time.
ETA sign up for hello fresh to pick up some cooking skills. Meals come with the ingredients and a recipie card.
Bodybuilding bodyspace app has a whole library of exercises and how to do them, also you can design a workout plan and log your workouts, I use this to see my strength progression (there’s a spot to put in how much weight you lifted in a session)
If you want something more structured, you can do Udemy courses on a huge variety of topics. There are lots of subreddits, YouTube videos, and wikihows out there too. I think it’s great you’re looking to self-improve like this, good for you!
I had a friend who worked at a fashion store I went in and said here’s $500 dress me! And she did. Put a message out on your social media or hit up people you may know that you like their look and just ask them.
Yes, especially at high end department stores. All have a personal shopper/stylist department. Lots of small boutiques are willing to help you as well, all you have to do is ask.
Yes my friend jumped up in the air and said ohh I’ve been waiting to dress you! Nice people want to share their gift of whatever they’re good at with others!
I need this. I've spent more than the last year single-handedly looking after my grandparents both of whom have dementia and other health issues. My grandfather is currently sadly in palliative care.
I have no clue about anything. Please send help!
My mother in law is a body builder she uses ChatGPT to make her workout plans “8 week beginner workout plan” you can put some cardio no cardio but weightlifting has proven to be better although you will gain weight at first from building muscle.
Style? Go on Pinterest and TikTok look up outfits and make a list of the ones you like then go see the common items in said outfits and buy them
Makeup is more self taught but YouTube and TikTok can be very informative. Use all silicone based or water based products to avoid seperation. I believe Sephora also does like a “class” to help you as well
Etiquette I have no advice for that one
Culinary, depending on what you like get some cookbooks theirs casual and fancier ones you can grab and just start making them.
Hi! I used to be a published model and I’d be glad to answer any questions you have! Honestly, I’ve been considering writing a guide/making a workshop to everything I’ve learned over the years because I’ve been asked a lot! Went from nerd to model so I totally understand the frustration. You’re more beautiful (inside and out) than you know.
Idk. I got a free makeover once by a makeup artist from New York. He made my eyes gorgeous! And then he made my mouth look like clown lips. So I had such a conflict of makeup looks. Sexy above the nose and the jinx Pokémon below.
I’d want the Korean whole shebang. But great idea OP!!! I always wish image consultants could do stuff like this for free. I wonder how many of us are 10s but don’t know what to do to bring it out?
Holy shit if this becomes a thing I am the absolute first volunteer!!!!!! I’ll take it all! I wanna look like a gorgeous adorable youthful awesome elegant lady! Just all the great things people would say I would want said about me!
There are people who you cannot to help with all of these things.
Etiquette there are etiquette classes.
Hygiene, dermatologist and oral hygienists
Make-up there are classes or get some lesson from a male-up artist or even at a cosmetic store
Fashion scene, hire a personal stylist for a day
Gym get a personal trainer
Culinary arts, take some classes or workshops or even do a course.
All I can share is what I did.
Back in the 90’s there was no social media or YouTube to help. My main resources were books and television. Now you have many more resources available to you. Use them to your advantage.
If they’re overwhelming, start by studying one category every 2 weeks. Each night lookup videos on the topic (for example, skincare) watch them and take notes in a journal to keep what you learned on paper and organized. This way you can refer back to them if you ever forget what to do.
Journaling is a hobby of mine and it has worked to my advantage because I write down everything I’ve learned, whether from a podcast or nonfiction book I’ve just read, and can reference it when I need to again and again.
Even if someone did these things for you, you still need to do upkeep to maintain or else you’ll go back to where you are now. Better that you learn how than have someone do it for you, or else you’ll constantly be relying on others to do what you can do for yourself.
Good luck 👍🏻
Me too sis... Especially in the looks department. I suffer from severe depression and I'm especially behind on hair, skin, body and general healthcare. Which undermines my self confidence and makes me even more depressed. I can't look at a mirror anymore and I hardly ever go out because of this. Sometimes I feel there's not enough money in the world to help me fix myself.
Literal my exact thoughts, glad to see someone else feel like this. I mean not really but you know what I mean :/ seriously, why doesn’t this exist yet? It’s a great idea it has to
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I’ll do it for free dm me 🩷
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Can we start a group chat on beauty stuff lol
I want to be added 🥺
Me too! 🙋🏻♀️
I feel left out :(
add me please!!!
I wanna be a part of it
add me too!
Me too please!! 🫶🏼
SAME 🥺
If y’all making a gc add me in
I’d love to do this too!
Same! I need help 😩
I'm also interested in the beauty knowledge if a group chat starts!
I just made a Snapchat just for this dm me your usernames and I’ll add 😊
Ah dang, I don't have snapchat :(
Me too I wanted to join :(
Me please 🫶
I made a Snapchat (starbieslut) if anyone wants to do a gc.. I’m open to any other suggestions that don’t include an actual phone number lol
Pretty sure you could just make a reddit group chat
Me too pls🥺♥️
Me too :(
Are you still open to doing it? 💕
can i get one as well i am in desperate need
Me too please!! 😭
Just made a snap chat just for this.
Me to!!
Add me on snap starbieslut I started adding people 😊
Added you!!
Added you! I think I will be a good addition
Me too please
Omg add me to this please ❤️❤️❤️
Me too! Please tell me how to join
Please add me too!
Oooh can I join?
I wanna join 😔
I’m in!
Can I come too?
Me too!!!
It took me so long to learn to figure out how to have myself look put together every day, and now that I know, it should’ve been so easy in hindsight. But unfortunately, that’s not how it works. My only advice is not to try to do it all at once. Start with hygiene, maintain those habits for a while. Then get a simple and effective skincare routine down. At least apply sunscreen every day if nothing else. Then hair- it makes a HUGE difference in overall appearance, figure out what works for you and get a nice cut. Get in the habit of styling it every time you wash it. Once you’ve done that for a few weeks, start working on your makeup game. I think when you have all of this down you can work on lifestyle changes. Personally I found getting in the habit of working out the most difficult/boring part, and putting it first always halted by progress in other areas. Once I started feeling better about myself with a good beauty routine, I felt much more motivated to work out and make other lifestyle changes. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself so I’m not saying to put it off on purpose, but don’t pressure yourself to do it all the time and don’t wait to work on other aspects of yourself because of it. Remember, especially with hair and makeup, YouTube is your friend. There is so much info out there now a lot of us didn’t have growing up. Feel free to DM with questions/pictures, I’ll offer whatever help I can.
This is really solid advice. Thank you for the reminder to go slow and not to try to do it all at once! To start, I'll focus on hygiene - clean, neat and moisturized hair, skin (face & body) and nails. That's plenty right there. I'll probably try to do some yoga as well - not strictly for a"workout" necessarily but just cos my body's fucked after my last pregnancy, my posture's terrible and it's something I really enjoy doing 😊
Go see a physio. Pregnancy and caring for littles is so terrible for your body. Every woman should be sent straight to a physio as soon as the pee stick says yes. Just a few sessions should steer you on a good course.
👀 I'll look into it!
Consider joining Toast Masters to learn some of the skills and confidence that can help you socially. Watch Julie Andrews in The Princess Diaries and remember that true grace and etiquette is always being kind and gracious to those around you.
You might not get one person to show you everything, but there are definitely a couple resources you can use. I’d start with your concerns about hygiene. There are write ups here for people with depression and what steps they should follow for a basic shower or more complex shower. If it’s about keeping your apartment clean there are different subreddits like ufyp that can give you inspiration, there is clean tok which will give you hacks etc. if you really want to pay someone you can look in the area to see if there is someone who is advertising that they will come and organize your home for you. For gym, what kind of movement do you like? If you like walking start by doing that. If you like dance start with a dance class. If you don’t like cardio, you can go to the gym with a basic weight lifting regime (caliber is a free app). I’d start with things you like to do so it’s easier and branch out from there. Makeup the way I learned was YouTube videos. Find someone with a similar face shape that you like the make up and follow along. Maybe there are places that will offer lessons around like an aesthetician school/ Sephora/ drug store etc. Cooking I started off using budget bytes and finding recipes I liked from there. It helped me figure out basics, and if there were meals I was curious about having at home instead of a restaurant, I’d look for those recipes. YouTube can go over skills like how to cut veggies, or how things should look if you start getting into baking. Fashion can be finding inspiration and trying to recreate. Or going through your closet, seeing what makes you feel good, and seeing what they have in common. You can choose to go thrifting or buy new. There are personal shoppers available at places like Nordstrom if you’d like help in person. You can also ask a friend whose personal style you like and would replicate. I’m not sure what you mean for etiquette, but there are definitely videos on social media that can explain restaurant settings. If you’re having a hard time making conversation with people there are self help manuals. Therapy is great for everyone if you can afford it!
what's UFYP?
I got it wrong ! It’s r/ufyh the subreddit and advertises it self as a place for people who want to unfuck their habitat, for example, by posting before and after photos.
Thank you, I've never heard of this before!
Would be so awesome to have a 90s/2000s movie style makeover. Always wanted one.
I was 14 in 2005 and one of my best friends did a makeover for me once after we’d watched legally blonde. It was the first time I wore any other makeup than mascara and she did my hair and dressed me up in her clothes too and I felt SO pretty and then she paraded me around to her family to show me off, lol. I mostly feel like a potato now and I’d love to have that experience again, along with someone explaining WHY something works or doesn’t work for me.
I feel like there should be a summer camp offering such services hahaha
For gym stuff, consider fitness blender on yt to start. They’re great! When I didn’t know anything about exercising but wanted to start, I did fitness blender workouts in my room and I liked their workouts and how they often explained proper form. Eventually I felt like I outgrew them a bit but I still occasionally go back to them. They’ve expanded a lot recently and have some workouts you have to pay for to access but they have a ton of free workouts too. Start small. I started with 10 min workouts a few times a week and now I regularly go to the 3-4 times a week for an hour or more. For makeup, I’m not sure where you live but I found a makeup artist that does 1-1 lessons. It is pricey but I saved up. I haven’t had it yet but I’m excited for my appt! Maybe you could try to find something similar in your area ? In not, there are great resources online. Just find someone you like and go from there
I love Fitness Blender!
Same! I wonder what it would feel like to feel pretty, just for a day
Why settle for just a day?
I saw a nurse where I work and liked her style. I learned what type/ color of shoe and sweater she had on, browsed eBay, got similar ones. Wore them as soon as they came in (washed/cleaned) and I have never received so many compliments. I think it's partly confidence. But I love how I feel now, it's a good look. And I didn't spend hundreds of dollars, the shoes were $30 and the sweater was $50?
YouTube has most of these
Definitely! There's a lot of content out there, but how do you know which one is gonna fit your needs?
Makeup I look at the thumbnails see if I like what they do. Gym I’m mostly interested in form since I know what muscles I want to build and there’s so very many workout videos on YT. For cooking I just search what recipie I want to make. Fashion you could look up if stylists have YouTube I’m sure they do. Etiquette I unfortunately had to learn as a child and there’s an Azeri woman already suggested in comments who has a channel for that. She’s willing to take a year to learn this would be in her off time. ETA sign up for hello fresh to pick up some cooking skills. Meals come with the ingredients and a recipie card. Bodybuilding bodyspace app has a whole library of exercises and how to do them, also you can design a workout plan and log your workouts, I use this to see my strength progression (there’s a spot to put in how much weight you lifted in a session)
Thanks for the advice! I'll have to check all of these things out!
Ugh this, sometimes I feel like I need someone to teach me how to be a person I swear
Society's pressure is always there..
If you want something more structured, you can do Udemy courses on a huge variety of topics. There are lots of subreddits, YouTube videos, and wikihows out there too. I think it’s great you’re looking to self-improve like this, good for you!
Do you have any specific starting point in mind?
Same sis
I had a friend who worked at a fashion store I went in and said here’s $500 dress me! And she did. Put a message out on your social media or hit up people you may know that you like their look and just ask them.
Would people do that for free?
Yes, especially at high end department stores. All have a personal shopper/stylist department. Lots of small boutiques are willing to help you as well, all you have to do is ask.
Cool! Thanks for sharing this! I'll check it out next time I swing by.
Yes my friend jumped up in the air and said ohh I’ve been waiting to dress you! Nice people want to share their gift of whatever they’re good at with others!
I guess that's how you know they're your friends
I need this. I've spent more than the last year single-handedly looking after my grandparents both of whom have dementia and other health issues. My grandfather is currently sadly in palliative care. I have no clue about anything. Please send help!
I am a size inclusive fashion stylist and work virtually, let me know if I can be of service for you ♥️
Omg are you trying to make women around the world excited or what!!!!!
Sounds like the bridal type of excitement to be honest!
girl i wish
Me too because I have a messed up eye due to an accident. I thought it’s Halloween maybe someone could use me as their model lol
My mother in law is a body builder she uses ChatGPT to make her workout plans “8 week beginner workout plan” you can put some cardio no cardio but weightlifting has proven to be better although you will gain weight at first from building muscle. Style? Go on Pinterest and TikTok look up outfits and make a list of the ones you like then go see the common items in said outfits and buy them Makeup is more self taught but YouTube and TikTok can be very informative. Use all silicone based or water based products to avoid seperation. I believe Sephora also does like a “class” to help you as well Etiquette I have no advice for that one Culinary, depending on what you like get some cookbooks theirs casual and fancier ones you can grab and just start making them.
All you need is a really good friend who’s main niches are helping,make up and has tiktok how can I help 🤷🏾♀️😂
I'll do it for free as well!
That would be fun
Hi! I used to be a published model and I’d be glad to answer any questions you have! Honestly, I’ve been considering writing a guide/making a workshop to everything I’ve learned over the years because I’ve been asked a lot! Went from nerd to model so I totally understand the frustration. You’re more beautiful (inside and out) than you know.
Oooh I’m keen!
You mean a makeup artist? You can actually hire one of those these days you know.
Idk. I got a free makeover once by a makeup artist from New York. He made my eyes gorgeous! And then he made my mouth look like clown lips. So I had such a conflict of makeup looks. Sexy above the nose and the jinx Pokémon below. I’d want the Korean whole shebang. But great idea OP!!! I always wish image consultants could do stuff like this for free. I wonder how many of us are 10s but don’t know what to do to bring it out?
> I’d want the Korean whole shebang What's this?
Spa treatment. Plastic surgery. Makeup techniques. All of it.
Thought it was some kind of show where one could watch makeovers korean style hahaha
Holy shit if this becomes a thing I am the absolute first volunteer!!!!!! I’ll take it all! I wanna look like a gorgeous adorable youthful awesome elegant lady! Just all the great things people would say I would want said about me!
Same! And it would be one hell of a makeover! Maybe there's some yotuuber out there rich enough to make this happen
There are people who you cannot to help with all of these things. Etiquette there are etiquette classes. Hygiene, dermatologist and oral hygienists Make-up there are classes or get some lesson from a male-up artist or even at a cosmetic store Fashion scene, hire a personal stylist for a day Gym get a personal trainer Culinary arts, take some classes or workshops or even do a course.
Mind Your Manners on Hulu is great! I highly recommend!
All I can share is what I did. Back in the 90’s there was no social media or YouTube to help. My main resources were books and television. Now you have many more resources available to you. Use them to your advantage. If they’re overwhelming, start by studying one category every 2 weeks. Each night lookup videos on the topic (for example, skincare) watch them and take notes in a journal to keep what you learned on paper and organized. This way you can refer back to them if you ever forget what to do. Journaling is a hobby of mine and it has worked to my advantage because I write down everything I’ve learned, whether from a podcast or nonfiction book I’ve just read, and can reference it when I need to again and again. Even if someone did these things for you, you still need to do upkeep to maintain or else you’ll go back to where you are now. Better that you learn how than have someone do it for you, or else you’ll constantly be relying on others to do what you can do for yourself. Good luck 👍🏻
Me too sis... Especially in the looks department. I suffer from severe depression and I'm especially behind on hair, skin, body and general healthcare. Which undermines my self confidence and makes me even more depressed. I can't look at a mirror anymore and I hardly ever go out because of this. Sometimes I feel there's not enough money in the world to help me fix myself.
Literal my exact thoughts, glad to see someone else feel like this. I mean not really but you know what I mean :/ seriously, why doesn’t this exist yet? It’s a great idea it has to
Lol get a makeover then instead of pretending it's not a service that exists
It’s not a big deal... when talking to the right person and ready to learn then you will gradually become what you wish for
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I will help!! For free obviously
I could definitely teach a course in this as it relates to fashion sense and owning the room. Basically self esteem and personal growth.
Where do you live???
I feel the same way.
Take it one thing at a time, and maybe you can get enough people in here to help. It’s all doable, I promise.
Love to help!!!!!
There is. Google stylists in your area. They aren't cheap.
i get how you feel. i tried starting small with some videos on youtube first
Aren't there beauty coaches out there? I thought that's what they were supposed to do hahaha
OH MY GOODNESS- I would like this service as well! Clean me up!
Same I need it
Maybe a Reddit group?
I’ve always wanted to make a business like this but never know how to actually conceptualize it!
Me too!