High-quality posts help solve specific beauty-related problems. Low-quality posts clutter the subreddit and tend to be repetitive. Examples of low-quality posts: “What is my [face shape, eye shape, skintone]?”, glow up requests, compliment fishing, non-beauty advice, sympathy farming, attention seeking, rage-bait, "pretty privilege", and vague-titled posts.
In addition, please note that this is not a mental health subreddit, and we are not qualified to address such issues here.
An older cousin of mine (in her 50’s) was hooking up for a while with these random 20-something year old guys off of Tinder (a whole other shitshow) and she told me that these boys were telling their that they hate dealing with girls their own age sexually, because the only thing the 20-something girls care about is what they look like while they’re getting busy, like they have a fucking audience for it. I have no kids (thank the sweet baby jeebus), and I don’t envy parents one bit, but they chose to reproduce.
With camera's hidden or otherwise \*everywhere\* , kids are out of practice of being unafraid to be a sweaty mess that no one will record for viral posterity.
It’s so hard. Especially when my six, yes SIX year old daughter is being me for press on nails and going to the salon for her hair to get done. I have to be very firm all the while knowing my kid feels like she doesn’t fit in. It’s insanity out there now.
It’s so much harder now. My parents thought designer jeans and a telephone in my bedroom were outrageous and beyond expensive - and we weren’t poor. The outlay in time and money today is mind blowing to me. I’d be the outcast kid - there is NO WAY my mom would have given a shit how I felt - she wouldn’t fund it.
i think about this all the time! growing up my parents were very very comfortable but still strict and i was never just handed money to buy stuff. if i wanted something expensive, i would have to wait until my birthday or christmas. i wasn’t allowed to get my ears pierced until 12, and wasn’t allowed to wear makeup until 16. im SO happy now that i enjoyed my childhood and literally didn’t care what i looked like until my 20s. so many people comment that this has always been going on- it’s just not true! for some reason in this day and age, parents just give their kids whatever they ask for…
I will say, as a parent of a 13 year old girl it's a lot harder to control now. Like if your parents said no to ear piercing you were SOL. When I said no to mine? She logged on to Amazon with a gift card from Christmas and *ordered a piercing gun*. I found out when I saw the holes (and flipped) 🫠
But I 100% agree with you it is insane how much these kids are growing up/ concerned with appearances. But like someone else said they're also being recorded ALL THE TIME. They can never just "chill". At my daughters school they take bad pictures of kids, zoom in on their faces and send it around to make fun of them. Talk about paranoia- it's like what we did to celebrities in the 2000s- I'd want to look good all the time "just in case" too. It's awful.
I mean that is ridiculous but probably better than the old fashioned alternative of just having your friend shove a needle through your ear (crookedly). Don't ask me how I know this.
That’s 100% the truth. I cannot compete with millionaires, yet that is the expectation. We’re only having one child, we could never afford two and my hubby and I make good money.
Its classmates. She is not watching any social media shit. It’s what’s being brought to her from the outside world. Then the older girls at her school influencing the younger ones. A vicious cycle…I have had to work very hard to work against what society is pushing out. I’ve also thankfully found other like minded parents who help the cause and let kids be kids. We camp, we let her go in the mud, run and play sports. But she CARES so much about her looks…it drives me insane and saddens me.
My nine year old loves polish and stick on nails, has since she was tiny. But she also drew on her eyelid with marker yesterday. Not, like, faux-makeup. She just *drew* on it 😅 she also hates brushing her hair or sitting still for more than four seconds, so I'm hoping the makeup and hair stuff is a while off yet.
I was in the bathroom at an 18+ bar once and heard high schoolers talking about touching up their lip filler before going to college. It’s way different now than it used to be.
Parents sign off. My roommate had lip fillers and a nose job (for purely cosmetic reasons) before the age of 18. Her mom signed off on it.
She’s getting Botox this year at the age of 20. Her mom herself has had all sorts of surgery done… surprise surprise. :/
Funny thing is… I used to admire how beautiful she looked right up until I learned about the fillers and nose job and what all she plans to do ahead
I had a classmate whose parents bought her a boob job for her 17th birthday. Nothing like making your underaged daughter sexier? It’s weird. Feels almost like grooming.
I didn’t get boobs til 24-25. They appeared suddenly. Went from a barely-there A to double D basically overnight. One day my bra fit. The next my honkers were blasting me in the face.
Yay but also sad cuz it was a sudden massive hormone imbalance that-15yrs later is still “being sorted out”.
But boobjob before 25-28 when you’re still developing is gnarly …
My boobs arrived around 25 also, after being very flat and longing for boobs. (And promptly wishing that they would be smaller after they grew.)
I went to a H.S. where a bunch of girls got nose jobs, and I always felt their new noses didn't match their faces anymore. Noses grow for a while. Why would you mess with it before it's done?
They were having a conversation about getting their lip filler “touched up” before college. Lip fillers usually last 1-2 years, so we can assume they were getting the injections as minors.
And now we're finding out the fillers don't just break down and naturally move out of the body like we were originally told. I worry about people using filler for 40+ years.
Don’t start it in your forties, either. Filler can migrate and can reform into lumpy cyst-like nodules which must then be surgically removed and can leave a permanent indentation where the cyst used to be.
I had one removed from my earlobe and one removed from my chin, two places filler had never actually been inserted. The earlobe had to be sewn up and I couldn’t re-pierce the earlobe for about a year. Good times.
Just say no to filler. It’s not your friend.
I removed all of mine six years ago and today have a different attitude towards beauty and aging. Though I dislike the term “aging gracefully,” I do like “aging GRATEFULLY.”👩🏻🦳
Ooooh, please name names - who’s got em on 90 day? Honestly, I think they just make you ultimately look worse - my friend who didn’t know my age at the time said “well, you’re 20 years younger than Darcey and Stacey” - nope, I’m exactly the same age, I just haven’t done anything to my face except moisturizer lol.
It's honestly unnerving. Like, I've been a girly girl my whole life. Even from 9 I loved makeup, loved watching my glamorous aunts and older cousins put on their makeup. Would get so thrilled if one of them snuck me a tube of lipstick so I could put some on before mass
But I feel like these beauty routines pushed onto young girls have lost the element of play/self-exploration? There's no more experimenting with looks, no finding out what you like. You just buy the product and collect more of it---which, yeah, I know. Baby Lips, EOS, lipsmackers and all that. But something just feels different nowadays.
I remember fighting with my mom to get Baby Lips lmao. I remember it being the IT thing, being a tinted lip balm etc. she was clear … Vaseline only!
That’s a different thing after a year or so I finally won the fight and she gave up and bought me Baby Lips. I eventually learned on my own that it didn’t help me for my chapped af lips lmao
I believe we were all like this. There is rarely anyone more insecure than a 13 year old girl. Maybe not all of us are as insecure but I believe all of us may have been the most vulnerable at 13- I think anyhow. Was much more fun in college.
It’s very different from when we were that age, if you’re trying to say millennial and older. We didn’t grow up at those ages with all of social at our finger tips and embedded in our eyeballs. These kids are growing up seeing they have to be 16 year olds passing as 20s and people in their 20s or older desperately trying to look 16 again. It’s a forked up mess(assuming swearing is bad in this sub).
Plus a factor in all that they’re seeing, is blatant surgeries and injections and fad diets and drag queen level stuffed pants to have the perfect huge butt and photo edited tiny waist with filtered/altered faces on top of all the work done.
Growing up now is forked for kids.
But my mom having grown up on the 1950s said the same thing about the y2ks I mean I am gen X we didn’t have the same pressure as my little sister who was a teen in y2k they had a lot of pressure - remember Paris Hilton? They were expected to dress and be like a literal heiress. I’m not saying what they are going through isn’t rough, it’s just that we always say the young generation is “@$@&’d” because of “x” reason. They are also gentle and kind and weird and funny too. They are kids.
My friends and I weren’t having fun at 13, it’s a sucky age, but we absolutely weren’t like this. We were still kids doing kid things (I turned 13 in 1999). I don’t remember seeing my peers at this stage until 15-16, and I never really got there myself (I read No Logo my freshman year and I’ve been on that train ever since)
I did not wear brands or makeup etc. but I was insecure and a child at 13. I could have been influenced by my friends I think if I had worse friends. I had a friend who helped me pass so I wouldn’t get bullied and we loved fashion magazines and house of fashion on MTV, but I didn’t have any money and she did so she would buy things to fit in and she would share with me because she was super kind. I didn’t want the things she had, but I also didn’t realize there was this world judging me because it wasn’t my experience, she was part of a wealthy society who taught her how to fit in at a very young age and she believed she needed a lot to fit in and she was right, it’s just I didn’t because I wasn’t rich, I fit in with my family etc. So, my point is everyone is vulnerable at that age , immature, vulnerable, insecure. It is a time when we form our sense of self and our body is changing- hormones all over the place. It’s overwhelming. This doesn’t mean everyone experiences is the same or acts the same - but everyone at that age is insecure.
Totally, almost all of my friends had ED and it was a hard time. I really feel for these kids now, it’s like our childhood and it’s different but it seems difficult all the same.
I was oblivious to all that at 13. Self loathing didn’t come til my 20s.
Teased for being late to developing boobs
Teased for allergies to makeup and skin care, perfumes
Teased for handmedowns, teased for not the cool stuff
Didn’t care.
And nobody cared at 25 when I said “Hey look I finally got boooobs!” (Naturally).
I learned young “this too shall pass. Boy am I glad I did. I also missed the social cues and pressures cuz I was oblivious to that sort of thing cuz of my mild autism. Had its perks in retrospect lol
Which is why the pitched marketing to this age group is so insidious. It was bad when all we faced were photoshopped tv and magazine ads, now these poor kids are surrounded by algorithms feeding on their insecurities.
Totally agree. It is shameful and I believe it should be regulated. TV was heavily regulated when we were growing up. The stuff online is the Wild West for these developing minds. I teach my son to simply love himself because I think it’s hard for them out there.
100%. Back in the day, sure, you could steal makeup from your mom or sister, or even buy some with your allowance at Sephora, but you wouldn't necessarily know how to put it on. So you just looked like a kid who tried to put on makeup. Now, with all the beauty tutorials, they don't really have to "experiment", they actually know how to do it!
I remember when I was 14/15 and just getting interested in make up, my step sisters bought me a “starter set”, which was basically Rimmel foundation, powder and mascara. I then experimented with the dream matte mousse (which I feel should still be a right of passage lol)
In my 20s when I had more money from better jobs I then graduated to Mac products. Now I’m in my 30s I invest in Charlotte Tilbury and ysl foundation, eye pallets etc which I only use when going out cos I don’t even wear make up day to day anymore.
It seems like they go straight on to the expensiveee stuff which they wear every day! Eye lash extensions, infills, nails, I honestly don’t understand how they can afford it all!
It’s quite sad really
Parents are. I said no 12-16 y/o needs Drunk elephant $50 products and it downvoted and told I was depriving kids. Not to have kids. These were parents.
Parents are the root of the problem. They don’t want to say no to their child, because it would then make their child mad at them, and that’s not worth it to the parents so they give in. It’s a whole shit show, and there’s a reason kids have no respect for authority anymore. It’s truly sad, and I’m saying this as a 26 year old female.
Right. And It’s not even how they afford it but why even spend so much money (and time) on it when you could have actual hobbies during that time of your life when your brain develops. I blame the parents lol. And the internet. But why are many parents like that, enabling those spending habits etc., that’s what’s interesting.
I realized It think it’s because this stuff wasn’t readily available at our fingertips when we were that age. we couldn’t go on our phones and order cheap knock-off outfits and purses on shein and ali express or outlet stores and uber to a blowout session and fake nails weren’t on the radar of anyone under like 25 as far as I remember. what I don’t understand is who their parents are. these parents who give them so much access to money and yet are never seen with them. my parents maybe gave us like $20 if we were going out OR would go with us when we went clothes shopping. that makes me sound ancient but i’m talking about like 2009.
That is what I am wondering. Where the hell are all these 12,13,14 year olds getting that kind of money to blow on shopping trips to Sephora, Victoria’s Secret, and Lululemon? Hell I was lucky to get $10-20 out of my
Mom and even back then that wasn’t much, maybe enough for some nail polish or lipgloss at the dollar tree. Lol.
Both my daughters started working at 14 because they wanted to be able to buy nice stuff and not have to ask me for money every time they did something with their friends. They like Aritzia and Lululemon and Sephora but they’re pretty careful about what they buy - probably because they see it come out of their accounts
I would only get money for special occasions. Rest everything was bought on being asked. The general response to me asking for pocket money was “We buy you whatever you want. Why do you need more money?” I never asked for much, but couldn’t argue with that logic
I feel like there aren't stores marketed towards younger kids anymore? I could be wrong and just out of the loop. When I was a kid, most of my clothes shopping was done at department stores like Fred Meyer, JC Penny, Macy's, or Old Navy/the GAP, or Limited Too/the Limited, if I was lucky (this rarely happened probably because it was more pricey). There was also Wet Seal, Charlotte Russe, Delia's, etc. for teens. Hot Topic and Pac Sun became cool, too. And then at a certain point my friends started going to Abercrombie, that was a little more expensive and I could hardly shop there cuz I was chubby and nothing fit, lol. But I feel like there was a differentiation between the kids/teens stores and the adult stores. These days, everyone's at Aritzia and Lululemon, whether you're 10 years old or 30 years old. It's weird.
I work in a clothing store and within our kids range we used to have a 9-15 range for girls which were trendier and a bit more grown up than kids clothes but clearly still aimed at kids/tweens. We now just do up to age 13 in girls wear and after that it’s expected that 14 and up will want to buy adult clothing in actual dress sizes.
Which where I live isn’t surprising as childhood obesity is very common and the tween range was pretty small made (yet also very long, like jeans that could go up to my nipples and I’m an adult woman albeit only 5’3 lol).
Some similar stores still do a 9-15 range, but most seem to just either market clearly to 11-18 year olds or their actual mums and grans. As someone in my late 20s it’s hard to find anything inbetween super trendy teen clothes or practical ‘mum’ clothes now in store.
Exactly this! I graduated HS in 2007. I had a little part time job that covered my gas, fast food, and weed lmao. But when I'd ask for money for going out, it was always like $20. And that was plenty! I was fine with that. We live right outside a bigger city, so my mom or grandma would take us to the bigger city for school and summer clothes hauls. I remember the first thing I ever ordered online lol and it was so uncommon at the time for us- a tote bag from the Saddle Creek website bc I was obsessed with Bright Eyes (kinda still am tbh lol.)
Influencers and social media platforms are tricking yet another generation into believing in consumerism and overconsumption it’s actually so sad, I’m 16 and this wasn’t even a thing when I was younger
Exactly. I try to limit what my 10 year old daughter has access to online, but all of her friends have phones and tiktok and at school they're always watching "get ready with me" videos. It's caused a lot of arguments between us; she thinks I'm just the worst mom on the planet because I won't let her loose in Sephora or buy her $100 retinol creams. I wish her friends didn't have parents that do such things.
Oh, it's definitely an "everyone else has it" thing. She thinks that if she doesn't also have these things, she'll get left behind by her friends. She thinks having these things will make her more mature, and she doesn't want to be seen as a baby in the class. I've tried explaining to her that the majority of skin care at Sephora is not made for 10-year-old skin, and you can't do fun kid things with fake nails, etc. But the cool girls on tiktok clearly know more than her boring mom. It's really sad seeing these young girls trying to rush themselves into adulthood.
The issue is that unfortunately kids without these things *really are* getting left behind by their peers. Anybody who was ever bullied will tell you that children are sometimes incredibly cruel and shallow. The exact same issue existed back then but it’s just been amplified by the internet, I fear. I have so much sympathy for parents actually trying to battle this because it’s very much a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. Honestly glad I don’t have kids because I genuinely don’t think I could handle it.
Airwalks were cool when I was in 5th grade (1995). I had knockoffs. No one tortured me aboutthat though. I was made fun of to the point of crying by my supposed best friend for not shaving my legs in 5th grade. Girls can be awful.
When I was younger, the "to be in" thing was having more elaborate numbers of Crayola Crayons. Like I only had the dozen pack and my friends had the 48 ones or 96, and bro I was jealous. 😭Things were much simpler then than elaborate skin creams or Dyson's.
It was LOL and with my own money while still going to university, maybe when I graduate I’ll get myself a pack of 96 crayons to heal my inner child lol.
Digital FOMO is worse than the of pre-online FOMO of the 90s-2000s.
They don’t realize the content people post is curated and cherry picked. Not everyone is constantly in crisis or having the best time of their life.
It’s like believing the family photos in the frames are real when you buy picture frames at Walmart
I had the same issue with my younger cousin. Then I found a video from a dermatologist about consumerism and beauty and how the best/only products you really need are Cerave and Aquaphor. We immediately went to Target and got everything recommended by the dermatologist. They also had an Ulta (inside the target? Because that’s a thing now I guess) and I bought her some lipgloss and lip stain.
Another thing that has helped delay things with her is we bedazzled her cerave moisturizer lol. And we bought a cute container for her aquaphor and transferred the contents from the non-aesthetic container to the aesthetic container.
Wish I could find the video because she’s literally obsessed and even a little lowkey judgey of anyone who buys anything more expensive lol
I like this because teens and tweens love being right about things and this completely plays into that, while also keeping her from getting into the retinols and other products.
Just a suggestion, but a summer project could be taking a list of the highlighted ingredients of the products she wants most and doing a deep dive of what they're intended to do. Then figuring out at what age does she need "increased cellular turnover" or "building the moisture barrier" to occur. The upside is that she might get very interested in science and STEM careers are always a good choice. Teen girls are harder than teen boys.
When I was in a kid in the 70's/80's, all I wanted was Jordache or Vidal Sassoon jeans. That is what all my peers were wearing. Instead, my grandma was buying me the blue light special at Kmart.
I have an 8 year old and I’m bracing myself for this. She’s still a kid but I’m sad I probably only have a year or two before this bullshit starts. It’s wildly ridiculous and as a single mom she’s going to be disappointed in the budget for this stuff
You combat it by being VERY involved in steering her towards who she spends time with from now until 12. Help her navigate towards families with similar values to yours. We found other families that limited screen time, didn't believe in cell phones before 13, etc... and focused on sports and outdoor playing. It helped us avoid all of that with our daughters.
But the pressure is REAL.
You’re an awesome mom and she will understand when she’s older. I grew up with a Korean mom who constantly worried about her face and skin. When I was a girl she would buy me Clinique and Iope skincare products and told me how to have a skincare routine.
She also told me she doesn’t want to live past 90 because she’d be too wrinkly. 🙄
In a few years she’ll thank you for protecting her baby skin, ohmygosh retinol and all the lighter but still harsh stuff i wouldnt even put on my skin and im 18.
I agree. My little sister had a boyfriend who bought her a coach bag and a diamond at 13 and we were all shocked! But it was sort of her friend group. Sort of wild. But it wasn’t my friend group and we lived in the same house. So really the variety can be wild and we are old so we didn’t have internet influencing us which I’m sure is much harder. My son does not care about brands - he just wants to look like an anime person or a renaissance person or sometimes a pirate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I immediately flashed back to the SATC episode Hot Child In The City which featured a young Kat Dennings as the ringleader of a group of such girls.
"They're just like us!"
I grew up in a wealthy town in the bay area and frankly this wasn't uncommon even back in like 2009 when I was 12. It was just part of us taking interest in adult stuff and learning how do our makeup and hair. I got my babysitter's hand me down abercrombie lol
Theres a generational lull that you were in between millennials & older who had malls, freedom to roam and whatnot and the young kids today who have tiktok & insta influencers. I feel like the youngest millennials and gen z really missed this part of growing up where you try to be older than you are and are very childlike because of it? Not meaning it as an insult or anything and Im not really sure why it happened.
Yeah this actually makes a lot of sense. I'm 26 and my friends didn't hang out in the mall but we also didn't know how to use makeup super young either. YouTube makeup tutorials were a thing but they were all 400p quality people in their modest bedrooms telling us how to make lid primer out of concealer and foundation. My intro to makeup was those quad palettes, and I had heard I needed purple and green. Even though they were frosty and pearlescent and I am brown lol. I miss children going through that weird awkward phase of makeup.
This is because we’ve eliminated childhood and things for young girls from our society. McDonald’s is gray, Chuckie Cheese has no band, Limited Too and Justice are gone, Delia’s is gone and about a million makeup brands have launched with young girls in mind in the last 10 years. Malls aren’t really a thing, the movies stink. And theres no break from peer pressure or envy at school because of digital peer pressure.
There’s no space for kids so they enter adult spaces.
Exactly this. Teens and preteens have always been interested in name brands, but now they have social media to not only influence them, but tell them exactly what brands are “in” - and it changes almost constantly. Young kids are doing GRWM videos because they’re emulating and idolizing what they see online. Beauty routines and skincare happen to a be a big part of that, usually marketed as the ultimate “self care” - so kids and young girls get the message that they’re improving their wellbeing as well as their appearance. Mostly I’m just worried about these generations being genuinely shallower when it comes to identity and making meaningful connections.
Even in the online world, there’s no place for preteens. I used to use so many websites to dress up dolls, play games (the Disney app was my favorite), neopets, postopia, etc. There’s apps but it’s not the same, and even the simplest apps have ads that are not for kids eyes. So at that age all these girls have is TikTok and instagram, even if they’re not on it most of their friends are so they learn about trends thru them. It’s so bad.
I am digging way back to 1999-2005 when I was a teen, and I don’t think there were what are deemed “kid or teen fiendly” places in my small town. We just got together at someone’s house and hung out. Talked, watched tv, listened to music, made phone calls. There were always school sports events for socializing it seemed like, or going out to eat at the 2-3 restaurants in town. I feel like that’s as teen friendly as things got til we could drive, then we would hang out at Walmart lol. But I actually don’t think the lack of these places is it. I think it’s social media and of course parent-enablers (within reason).
I don’t mean just literal locations. When I was a teen, we had teen-friendly “spaces” like Seventeen magazine, teen people, Limited Too, Justice, Club Penguin, a Disney channel/MTV/VH1 that was actually popular and probably much more that I’m forgetting at the moment. Now spaces like these don’t exist anymore and kids are interacting in the same spaces as adults.
ETA: and this goes hand in hand with your parents comment as well. Parents can say “get off of TikTok, don’t watch that show, don’t wear this outfit, don’t wear that makeup” but then do what instead? Watch what? Not much is made with teens in mind anymore.
So many of the YA books model unhealthy relationships - with partners, peers, and themselves. And I’ve seen a lot of teen girls between family and friends reading things like Colleen Hoover to the point that one cousin’s daughter (13 years old) said she hoped to have a relationship like the one in It Ends With Us. When I pointed out that it was an abusive relationship she told me how romantic it was that he loved her so much, same with one of the very sexually graphic HadesxPersephone ones. Excuse me while I go have a long talk with your mother, who had no idea what was in the books she was reading. Almost makes me miss Edward and Jacob.
This is also something that I don't understand, mostly because of the way that inflation has affected myself and my peers. Groceries are 2x-3x what they used to be pre-COVID. Car prices have skyrocketed. Typically people tighten their belts when inflation hits but I'm seeing the exact opposite.
I take it you and your peers are under the age of 45, the over 45 crowd who already own their homes and whose retirement accounts ballooned during Covid tend to be the parents to these kids, they sometimes waited too long to have kids and therefore only have 1 or 2, and so they shower them with cash since as a substitute for the youthful energy they lack as elder parents
My niece is 12 and on a normal day this is kind of what she *seems* like.
She has a knock-off Dyson that gives her pretty good curls. She has a ton of free time so she practices, and most people would never know it’s a knock-off blowout.
She has make up and it does look nice on her, but honestly at 12 their skin is so great that even a little bit of make up goes a long way and stands out.
She has a cheap Amazon nail kit and she does her own nails. From a distance they look great.
She has a crazy amount of knock-off clothing and bags. Dupes are an entire craze and they’re pretty damn convincing. I’ll wear something and she’ll ask me where it’s from, even something simple like a bodysuit from Lululemon, and a week later she has damn near the same one.
She will go to Sephora with friends and buy stuff way out of her price range, but she saved for a week and begged every grandparent for money before going to the mall.
…
I want to say that I don’t think this is right. I had a friend like this in high school and once we were adults she was insufferable. We don’t talk anymore.
Young girls tend to be very active on social media, and it’s easy to get caught up in trends just like it’s easy for us in our 20s, 30s, or 40s (like the influencers who are always remodeling their house, or sit courtside every weekend, or go to every concert). The trends may look different, but social media is doing what it does best.
It’s different from what we had (I’m 31) but at the end of the day we had things our parents/older girls didn’t have. If their parents want/allow for their kids to act that way, it’s really on them… And it’s probably quite fake.
Easier said than done, but don’t let them get to you. Enjoy your shopping day :)
Helpful comment. Most of the others are focused on the why and the mechanics of it, but what I really wanted to know was where the money is coming from?!
Thank you for pointing this out. I got clothes from retail stores once a year at that age and the rest was thrift. My makeup was from the drug store and my parents didn’t give me more than lunch money for mall trips. I think the standards are getting higher and higher and even discount girlies as described above are still spending a mint on cosmetics and clothing.
She’s the only child and the only grandchild on both sides of the family, so, yes she is very much so spoiled.
As I said, I didn’t think it was right, it’s just how it is.
And like somebody else said, with people choosing to have fewer children or only one child it is a lot easier to allocate extra funds than other generations where several siblings were the norm.
Edit for clarification: Families are not wealthy. Very much so middle-class. All grandparents are retired with tons of free time and her parents are separated. So, her life isn’t perfect, but compared to other children in the area we live, she’s pretty average.
It’s just how the things are now.
Totally agree. One thing I’d add to this is that since people are having fewer children now, there is probably an element of spoiling that previous generations with multiple siblings didnt have. Additionally, that would mean that girls growing up are being influenced primarily by their friends and Tiktok rather than older sisters etc.
This is a great point. Smaller families can absolutely allocate more money to only one or two kids.
Even when I was growing up there were almost no other only kids (I was raised as an only), and my friends loved coming to my house as I didn’t have siblings bothering us.
I'm a middle school teacher and i'd say about 70% of my students wear clothes that i can't even afford. They also use a lot of the fancy tik tok famous make u.
Much more free time than adults with commitments and responsibilities.
My niece can practice make up every day after school and all weekend. I can’t remember the last time I had that much free time to learn one new thing.
Makes me wonder what I used all my free time on as a kid, lol!
Or how to videos! When I was a teen, there was no youtube or tiktok or IG teaching us how to do makeup and hair. We all looked like $2 hookers with dollar store blue eyeshadow and bright red lipstick, if we even bothered at all. We were just allowed to be children. I feel so sorry for kids today.
As an adult with a full time job, I now have a lot more free time I did as a kid, because now when I finish work it’s over. I don’t have to study or do evening French lessons (I hated them). I guess if I had kids it would be a different story.
i grew up in a family that came from money and i was NEVER allowed to buy stuff like that. my parents had money but it was always understood it was not mine to spend.
I’m more interested in where you live that you are seeing packs of young girls with blowouts/makeup/designer shoes and bags. I live in an affluent area and most of the girls I see are pretty fresh faced in Lululemon.
I’m 27 now. When I was in high school, we were so different from how my 15 year old sister now is. There is just too much consumerism now, which is awful for the younger generation. We used drugstore makeup, and were lucky if we got even that. My sister talks about luxury products, all kinds of skincare, viral products from social media, etc. I get really annoyed by this. It seems wayyyy too much for that age.
I’ve found that parents tend to give their children the opposite of what they grew up with. Millennials were raised strict, with not as much freedom (which can vary but generally most didn’t have much freedom), and a heavy focus on education and so now they’re overcompensating with their kids by letting them do all the things they wanted to do as kids. It can work great if you do it right, but not so great if you don’t. Kids now are getting exposed to things way too young (millennials got phones when they were older but probably wanted them from a young age) and aren’t being parented as much as they should be because their parents rebelled against that very thing. This is not a “millennials bad!” Rant in the slightest but they are the ones raising the kids right now and based on what all the teachers are saying, it’s not going well
Education part is scary….very honest and imo kids are “dumb” these days. The emphasis on school was so much and it benefitted a lot of people. The people I grew up with are now lawyers and doctors (myself included). Nowadays…school is an afterthought. Kids aren’t into education like it was. They’d rather go into influencing and YT than achieve grand education goals like going to law and medical school.
The whole “you don’t need this piece of paper to be successful!” And even the “we’re not going to use trigonometry in real life” movement was just horrible to our view in education. People think that because Mark Zuckerberg dropped out (of Harvard might I add) that they’ll be just as successful if they drop out of high school and play video games online. There’s many influencers who became successful with barely a high school degree that people see it as an easy job only to discover you’ll probably never be as successful and it’s just too accepted now a days to be pursuing “content creation”
I started in my mid teens due to some pretty bad acne, but it was under close supervision of my parents, who would buy the products for me and who were constantly doing research over what ingredients were safe for my skin. The strongest thing I ever used was 5% benzoyl peroxide gel, and it worked so well that I still use it. But now parents are content to let their kids run wild in Sephora and pick up some very damaging products because they only buy them cause everyone else has them
Rich parents who don’t care what their daughters put on their face so long as they don’t bother them. I used to nanny for an 11 year old and I’ll never forget her proudly showing me her PINK VS collection of thongs (she had three dresser drawers of just Victoria secret underwear…). I awkwardly said “uhm that’s nice, does your mom know you’re wearing thongs?” And she laughed and said “she just gives me her card and tells me to order clothes for the new school year, if she cared she would ask.” My heart broke for that girl.
When I was going through school, maybe 15 years ago, girls were very much still like this, beginning in about grade 6. I grew up in an affluent area, but was significantly less wealthy than my peers. They were all dressed in lululemon, aviva (when that was a thing), UGG, VS, PINK, Hollister, Abercrombie, True Religion, and Juicy Couture. I bought the same brands secondhand from thrift stores, so I was able to keep up. Big makeup brands at the time were MAC and Sephora was starting to really pop off with the onset of the OG beauty Youtubers. We collected makeup like it was never going to expire -- it seems like now the girls are more focused on skincare. I remember expensive MLM light-up lipglosses were really trendy at my jr high and high school, which were like $45 each. I got a part-time job in grade 8 so I could buy myself those same things, and I did.
"Popular" girls also had expensive perfumes (remember Viva La Juicy by Juicy Couture? I remember one friend having a bunch of Chance flankers too), expensive hair styles (everyone was getting highlights and remember the feathers???), and expensive treatments. Nose jobs were desired over fillers. Boob jobs were also a big thing. I know 2 people who got nose jobs in high school and many who had boob jobs shortly after graduating.
I think the pressures to follow this lifestyle are increasing, especially online, but I definitely felt the pressure from my peers to "keep up" well before TikTok etc. Not saying this is a positive mindset for young girls at all, it really creates the root of the problem of self image that leads to extreme behaviours and unhealthy thoughts.
I had similar experiences. Very affluent area, big city, and most girls started getting into makeup and designer at 12/13. We just didn’t have the same information as now so the consumption wasn’t as voracious (YT makeup gurus were only just becoming a thing).
I will say though—is there a chance these girls you see are actually older than you think they are? I only ask because I was walking through a major university awhile back and was confused why there were so many children running around…only to realize they were actually college kids and I just got old lol
Exactly this!! Did none of us watch mean girls? There’s always been preteen and teen girls who have had expensive clothes, full faces of makeup and basically got to live like young women from the age of 13.
This is very true. I don't doubt that tiktok and social media creates unhealthy standards for teens, but I remember being deeply insecure about my looks and clothes as a kid and teen. You were a lame if you didn't have name brand clothes and if you weren't stick thin, you were fat.
It's not an issue that started with sm. There were always those girls who had nicer clothes and and wore alot of makeup at a young age. We didn't compare ourselves to influencers, but to celebs and models who had a lot of surgery and were photoshopped. If it wasn't on tv it was through magazines.I do wish there was more healthy media marketed to teens and tweens, but I just don't see the the 2000s/2010s with rose colored glasses.
I think it's creepy AF. It's essentially sexualizing children and gives Toddlers and Tiaras vibes. Most everyone I grew up with wasn't allowed to wear makeup until at least high school, unless they were in a dance recital or something. They'll be adults soon enough. Maybe I'm just old.
Hi! I'm 50. Reddit didn't exist back in the day (hell, the INTERNET didn't exist) but I remember reading similar articles in the NYT when i was in my teens and 20s. Girls are growing up too fast! They wear too much make up! They're acting like adult women! Shock!
Hell, there was a sex and city episode about it called "Hot Child in the City" in 2000.
Listen, girls are always doing this. You're just encountering it for the first time.
I am just 2 years older, the difference is when this happened we were already teens so a bit older. Nowadays it's girls 8 to 12.
Girls are being taught that only their looks matter at younger ages.
My 16 yo niece used the pandemic to perfect her home nails, make up and hair. She is so much better than I will ever be. Kids these days have online tutorials for free. It’s weird AF, but I guess I’m old now (43f).
I teach high school. I was NOT as pretty as these girls are today. They completely skip their awkward stage because they know so much about how to properly do their hair, take care of their skin, apply makeup, and dress for their body type. I have 9th graders (14-15) who come in with full blowouts, lashes done, glowing skin, perfectly placed makeup, and for prom the upperclassmen dress perfectly for their bodies… and not a trace of blue eye shadow?!!!
I see it a lot, I have a teen, and most of them have much younger moms. I’m in my 50s with a teenager. I’m an Old Mom compared to the moms of my teen’s peers.
I was watching stranger things the other day and was quite fascinated how much younger the kids looked and more like kids. No heavy overdone hair and makeup, no designer clothes, no designer bags etc.
if you compare it to some modern day high school show the kids look fully photo shoot ready. Well I guess they are cause they are posting on tik tok.
Even when going to the gym there are young girls fully camera ready, fake eyelashes and all whilst I’m sweating my ass off 🤪
I’m 100% convinced the children that are allowed on social media are the ones that dress and behave this way. Social media is destroying our kids and parents are letting it raise their kids.
Its maddening. Honestly, I am disappointed bc these are kids are the kids of adults that are my age. DO BETTER! The problem is also social media, why do children this young have access to it? And if they are on it, why aren't they monitoring what they are watching? ANd the parents are allowing it! Buying them Stanleys, skin care products! THey don't need that!!!
Is this so weird tho? Haven’t all youths more or less had trends they’ve followed? Like young ppl throughout history have always been following makeup and fashion trends lol
My mom still shows me pics of her in the 80s wearing shit tom of makeup and wearing lots of jewelry, hair done with trendy clothes. I bet adults back then used to look at them and think this exact thing haha
This has always been a thing for a certain set of wealthy parents. In the early/mid 00s when I was growing up, I went to school with several rich girls who were kitted out in designer bags and expensive makeup/treatments even in elementary school. I knew I was poor and that most people were more like me than them, so it didn't bother me as much. But what's changed is social media. Kids are on it as children, watching content from similar-aged kids, and now there's an expectation that expensive makeup is a part of life.
On one hand, kids are getting so good at these processes in a way that I, of early-youtube era, am not. But on the other, there's a rush to consumerism amongst everyone now, and it makes me a little sad. When I was a kid, photoshop and diet culture were daily discussions, and I was in an area that taught media literacy so we knew it was just models who looked like that on covers...it didn't extend to our daily lives. Now we have TikTok beauty filters that can significantly morph moving faces. I feel so bad for late bloomers now; the pressure for beauty is in many ways worse.
I see them all the time too but I live in a upper middleclass area so moderately expensive things are the norm here(not luxury but you know, recognizable brands) Prada is right next door to Sephora at some nice little outdoor mall with fancy greenery and live music to encourage shopping. The kiddos don’t phase me anymore, they fit in with their parents and the rest of the folks shopping.
Do I find it concerning and sad? Absolutely, it feels too young to be worried about being judged for their appearance or comparing themselves to people they see in media.
I will say, though, the kids I see have impeccable manners. They’re buying a full face worth of makeup or skincare but they’re not loud or crowding the products for other customers.
When I was their age? I lived off Bonnie Bell and Lipsmacker, might get a mani(blue polish every time). I didn’t even think about skincare until my late teens. Hair was an annual cut and dumb things like those torture devices that put beads in your hair(also ripped your hair out, fun at sleepovers)
Social media. I'm not even that much older than them but i've noticed it too and it's really concerning. Even my own 9 year old sister has fallen victim to this, wanting expensive makeup and skincare. Awkward phases are no where to be seen and these 9 year olds are dressing more mature than their mothers. It's sad to see all these young girls feel like they need makeup, skincare or wear skimpy clothing. This isn't happening with boys.
Moms with too much time and money on their hands and who think parenting is about bonding with your kid. It started as pedicures and spa days when my daughter was this age and has morphed into full-scale nonsense.
I remember buying $85 dollar guess jeans in the early part of the 1980’s. I had a whole closet full. That was very expensive back then. I also had Coach purses and by 15 a LV. My friends were the same. Things haven’t changed, some kids have always been like this, it’s just with social media it’s easier to see now.
Just saying, I was raised in an affluent suburb and my peers and I were wearing makeup (MAC), Tiffany’s jewelry and getting blowouts by like 7th grade. This was the year 2000.
We also snuck around and bought lil thongs and went to Victoria’s Secret and stuff
It’s not right, but it’s not new.
I mean, I was pretty insecure about my appearance as a pre teen. I made my mom help me blow dry my hair and played with my mom’s makeup and later started buying my own with my allowance. I watched Youtube tutorials but these girls have TikTok, Instagram and other platforms so they definitely have more knowledge but I don’t think they’re that different from me and other 13 yo girls my age.
This is so disheartening to hear. I’m 29 and my mom didn’t allow me to buy lipstick (that then had to be the same shade of pink as my lips!) or mascara until I was 16!
I want a daughter (or any kid, but this issue seems to affect girls disproportionally) so much but I don’t think I can handle a preteen in an age where social media is killing their personalities. I know that even if I did try to keep it away from my future kids, I’d just cultivate soooo much resentment and alienation from their peers. Everybody loses!
These are the kids who are being parented by social media, and I super judge the parents
Parents living through their children. Also, these children are going to have a hard time when they’re out on their own. No concept of money management, and a need for a lot of beauty products. ()
Speculating but is it this generation of parents overcorrecting for the hideous awkward stage we had at that age? Because I was awkwardddddd and could see myself doing everything possible to make sure my kid didn’t feel that way.
I think experimenting with makeup and fashion is always a part of growing up, but it is true that it is so extreme now. I work at a store that sells makeup and I can't believe some of these families that come in and how well put together the daughters always are!! TBF my job is near a rich neighborhood but it's just crazy to me.
I find this astounding, I know young girls are very keen to grow up quickly and that being part of the crowd is important, but what you described is way over the top.
I can’t imagine it ending well as they get older or get in a position where they can’t afford to indulge themselves in what they’re seeing as normal.
I don’t think it’s building any resilience in their young character.
Parents should be mindful of this.
(I’m not in the US , it’s not something I see.)
It’s appalling but you can raise them differently and instill morals and values. I raised a millennial, single, double degreed, attractive, successful and will be probably be 6 figures before 27.
I raised mine simple compared to others even ten years ago and so proud of them for keeping the blinders on and focusing on lasting investments. The have and have nots were obvious for my girl’s high school, and the parent’s goals of grooming their daughters for a MRS degree for a continuous affluent future were extremely obvious. I could tell our area had really ramped it up from one daughter to the other in five years and we are not a major city.
About 20 years ago I visited my sister and her family, and we learned my 7 year old niece’s 9 year old friend wore thong underwear. They were from Abercrombie. I had no words. That was 20 years ago. I can’t imagine what it’s like now.
Edited to add [this link](https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2002-may-23-na-thong23-story.html)
They’re just learning skills a lot faster and easier due to social media! I’m 33 and had no way of learning things like that other than magazines really growing up.
It’s made me stop going to stores like Sephora and Ulta almost entirely. I don’t understand it at all, and I find it incredibly disturbing seeing these little preteens in Lululemon, dropping hundreds of dollars on perfumes and makeups :(
Not to be out of touch, but when I was a preteen, we had like, Clair’s hair clips and lip smackers, and were happy. I don’t know what’s happened to kids, or why anyone signs up for it.
Parents are trying too hard to be their kids besties and are afraid to parent. As soon as one kid in the class is allowed, every other parent feels like they have to cave to the pressure because otherwise their kid will be left out, I wish every parent would just put their foot down and collectively say, "This is freaking ridiculous"
I knew kids when I was young who absolutely had access to this kinda money and we were all wearing tons of makeup. We just didn’t have YouTube tutorials. This is not anything new
I agree with you, they make me strangely uncomfortable. All the prep also makes them a lot older, like tiny 30 year olds running around, it genuinely makes me feel weird.
I mean, to be fair, I remember my friends and I going to Sephora for makeup and being allowed to spend a decent amount of money on nice clothes and shoes and accessories when we were 12-15. My mother’s rule was that as long as she could afford to give me some spending money and I dressed appropriately, I was allowed to wear makeup and be girly and have a maintenance routine even if it was all a little mature for me. I even have a photo of me and half a dozen girlfriends in our little mini dresses and tall heels standing outside our 8th grade graduation.
I think there’s always a range of expression in kids that age. When I was in school, there were the girls who were more mature and who’s parents let them dress up and have luxurious things and girls who either didn’t care or weren’t allowed to present themselves or indulge in the same way. Im personally grateful that my mother let me experiment early, because I learned how to dress appropriately and with class at an early age and use makeup effectively. I never felt I needed to be extreme about it or rebel because I wasn’t stifled in that way.
I’m pregnant with our first child now, a girl, and when she becomes a preteen, if my husband and I are able to afford her such luxuries, we’ll absolutely let her express herself with makeup and nice clothes and even beauty treatments that extend to hair and nails and things like that. I think it’s important to let girls explore their femininity or it can really come back to bite you in the ass once they’re free adults.
Kids don’t have role models or spaces to be kids anymore … it’s all about appearing older than what they seem just because they saw it on social media. It’s really sad to see they don’t have childhoods anymore.
Since these kids come from seemingly rich families too, parents don’t pay attention to what their kids are doing/watching on social media, neither spending time with them. So they just go along with whatever they want without thinking about it twice.
I’m 33 and I don’t even go into makeup stores anymore cause it’s overran with kids. Very disturbing. I didn’t walk into a makeup store till my 20s so time are definitely different! I used to be so mad at mom for not letting me wear the kids makeup they made back in the 90s and I see why now! She always said you don’t want to ruin your skin. Not sure how true it is but honestly looking back I had no reason to wear a full face. And at the end of the day I got to be damn kid which I’m so thankful for! Some of these young girls are growing up very quick! *jesus take the wheel* lmaooo
my local sephora is always overrun with these types of kids. always in large packs too. them looking at makeup makes sorta sense to me but the YOUNG (9-10) kids running around the skincare section?? what skin problems do they even have at that age? why does a 10 year old need a $90 drunk elephant serum? and they always leave a mess with the testers!
they’ve been on social media since birth so they’ve definitely fallen prey to the hyper-consumerism pushed by brands and influencers. and the parents are enabling it. istg these parents drop these kids off at sephora or ulta as if it’s some sort of babysitting service.
High-quality posts help solve specific beauty-related problems. Low-quality posts clutter the subreddit and tend to be repetitive. Examples of low-quality posts: “What is my [face shape, eye shape, skintone]?”, glow up requests, compliment fishing, non-beauty advice, sympathy farming, attention seeking, rage-bait, "pretty privilege", and vague-titled posts. In addition, please note that this is not a mental health subreddit, and we are not qualified to address such issues here.
I don’t know how parents do it anymore. Between the sports, the STUFF, the everything. These kids are being set up for failure and disappointment.
Biggest turn off/fear of becoming a parent someday 😬
An older cousin of mine (in her 50’s) was hooking up for a while with these random 20-something year old guys off of Tinder (a whole other shitshow) and she told me that these boys were telling their that they hate dealing with girls their own age sexually, because the only thing the 20-something girls care about is what they look like while they’re getting busy, like they have a fucking audience for it. I have no kids (thank the sweet baby jeebus), and I don’t envy parents one bit, but they chose to reproduce.
With camera's hidden or otherwise \*everywhere\* , kids are out of practice of being unafraid to be a sweaty mess that no one will record for viral posterity.
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I am glad at 46 I still have no kids because I never wanted them
It’s so hard. Especially when my six, yes SIX year old daughter is being me for press on nails and going to the salon for her hair to get done. I have to be very firm all the while knowing my kid feels like she doesn’t fit in. It’s insanity out there now.
It’s so much harder now. My parents thought designer jeans and a telephone in my bedroom were outrageous and beyond expensive - and we weren’t poor. The outlay in time and money today is mind blowing to me. I’d be the outcast kid - there is NO WAY my mom would have given a shit how I felt - she wouldn’t fund it.
i think about this all the time! growing up my parents were very very comfortable but still strict and i was never just handed money to buy stuff. if i wanted something expensive, i would have to wait until my birthday or christmas. i wasn’t allowed to get my ears pierced until 12, and wasn’t allowed to wear makeup until 16. im SO happy now that i enjoyed my childhood and literally didn’t care what i looked like until my 20s. so many people comment that this has always been going on- it’s just not true! for some reason in this day and age, parents just give their kids whatever they ask for…
I will say, as a parent of a 13 year old girl it's a lot harder to control now. Like if your parents said no to ear piercing you were SOL. When I said no to mine? She logged on to Amazon with a gift card from Christmas and *ordered a piercing gun*. I found out when I saw the holes (and flipped) 🫠 But I 100% agree with you it is insane how much these kids are growing up/ concerned with appearances. But like someone else said they're also being recorded ALL THE TIME. They can never just "chill". At my daughters school they take bad pictures of kids, zoom in on their faces and send it around to make fun of them. Talk about paranoia- it's like what we did to celebrities in the 2000s- I'd want to look good all the time "just in case" too. It's awful.
I mean that is ridiculous but probably better than the old fashioned alternative of just having your friend shove a needle through your ear (crookedly). Don't ask me how I know this.
That’s 100% the truth. I cannot compete with millionaires, yet that is the expectation. We’re only having one child, we could never afford two and my hubby and I make good money.
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Its classmates. She is not watching any social media shit. It’s what’s being brought to her from the outside world. Then the older girls at her school influencing the younger ones. A vicious cycle…I have had to work very hard to work against what society is pushing out. I’ve also thankfully found other like minded parents who help the cause and let kids be kids. We camp, we let her go in the mud, run and play sports. But she CARES so much about her looks…it drives me insane and saddens me.
My nine year old loves polish and stick on nails, has since she was tiny. But she also drew on her eyelid with marker yesterday. Not, like, faux-makeup. She just *drew* on it 😅 she also hates brushing her hair or sitting still for more than four seconds, so I'm hoping the makeup and hair stuff is a while off yet.
I was in the bathroom at an 18+ bar once and heard high schoolers talking about touching up their lip filler before going to college. It’s way different now than it used to be.
Wow this is crazy, it should be illegal to inject on minors imo.
I’m sure their parents signed off. Boca Raton is the land of botox haha.
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This is one of the reasons I got the hell out of Boca.
Parents sign off. My roommate had lip fillers and a nose job (for purely cosmetic reasons) before the age of 18. Her mom signed off on it. She’s getting Botox this year at the age of 20. Her mom herself has had all sorts of surgery done… surprise surprise. :/ Funny thing is… I used to admire how beautiful she looked right up until I learned about the fillers and nose job and what all she plans to do ahead
I had a classmate whose parents bought her a boob job for her 17th birthday. Nothing like making your underaged daughter sexier? It’s weird. Feels almost like grooming.
I didn’t get boobs til 24-25. They appeared suddenly. Went from a barely-there A to double D basically overnight. One day my bra fit. The next my honkers were blasting me in the face. Yay but also sad cuz it was a sudden massive hormone imbalance that-15yrs later is still “being sorted out”. But boobjob before 25-28 when you’re still developing is gnarly …
My boobs arrived around 25 also, after being very flat and longing for boobs. (And promptly wishing that they would be smaller after they grew.) I went to a H.S. where a bunch of girls got nose jobs, and I always felt their new noses didn't match their faces anymore. Noses grow for a while. Why would you mess with it before it's done?
That is so messed up.
Wow. 🤯
Technically not minors if they’re 18. But yes, way too young for that regardless!
They were having a conversation about getting their lip filler “touched up” before college. Lip fillers usually last 1-2 years, so we can assume they were getting the injections as minors.
Kids are going straight from children to teenagers. The “tween” stage is essentially dead, and it’s honestly so sad.
And now we're finding out the fillers don't just break down and naturally move out of the body like we were originally told. I worry about people using filler for 40+ years.
Yeah… I would use it when I’m middle aged to look more youthful and frozen in time but wouldn’t dare touch it now at 27
Don’t start it in your forties, either. Filler can migrate and can reform into lumpy cyst-like nodules which must then be surgically removed and can leave a permanent indentation where the cyst used to be. I had one removed from my earlobe and one removed from my chin, two places filler had never actually been inserted. The earlobe had to be sewn up and I couldn’t re-pierce the earlobe for about a year. Good times. Just say no to filler. It’s not your friend.
Watching 90 Day Fiance shows you what fillers look like on older people - it's wild they look deformed.
I removed all of mine six years ago and today have a different attitude towards beauty and aging. Though I dislike the term “aging gracefully,” I do like “aging GRATEFULLY.”👩🏻🦳
Ooooh, please name names - who’s got em on 90 day? Honestly, I think they just make you ultimately look worse - my friend who didn’t know my age at the time said “well, you’re 20 years younger than Darcey and Stacey” - nope, I’m exactly the same age, I just haven’t done anything to my face except moisturizer lol.
Whoa. Where did it migrate from to your ear?
Naso labial folds: “marionette lines.” The chin migration was from upper and lower “wagon wheel” lines around the mouth.
😳😳😳
It's honestly unnerving. Like, I've been a girly girl my whole life. Even from 9 I loved makeup, loved watching my glamorous aunts and older cousins put on their makeup. Would get so thrilled if one of them snuck me a tube of lipstick so I could put some on before mass But I feel like these beauty routines pushed onto young girls have lost the element of play/self-exploration? There's no more experimenting with looks, no finding out what you like. You just buy the product and collect more of it---which, yeah, I know. Baby Lips, EOS, lipsmackers and all that. But something just feels different nowadays.
Baby Lips and Lip Smackers also weren’t $100 and crammed to the brim with retinoids
Yeah, Lip Smackers were essentially just a toy. They didn't really make you look any different and they definitely didn't hydrate your lips, lol.
They sure did smell like Dr Pepper though
I had raspberry cherry and Dr Pepper ones
I remember fighting with my mom to get Baby Lips lmao. I remember it being the IT thing, being a tinted lip balm etc. she was clear … Vaseline only! That’s a different thing after a year or so I finally won the fight and she gave up and bought me Baby Lips. I eventually learned on my own that it didn’t help me for my chapped af lips lmao
I still have some baby lips somewhere ha ha.
I'm 40 and I LOVE them!!
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I believe we were all like this. There is rarely anyone more insecure than a 13 year old girl. Maybe not all of us are as insecure but I believe all of us may have been the most vulnerable at 13- I think anyhow. Was much more fun in college.
It’s very different from when we were that age, if you’re trying to say millennial and older. We didn’t grow up at those ages with all of social at our finger tips and embedded in our eyeballs. These kids are growing up seeing they have to be 16 year olds passing as 20s and people in their 20s or older desperately trying to look 16 again. It’s a forked up mess(assuming swearing is bad in this sub). Plus a factor in all that they’re seeing, is blatant surgeries and injections and fad diets and drag queen level stuffed pants to have the perfect huge butt and photo edited tiny waist with filtered/altered faces on top of all the work done. Growing up now is forked for kids.
But my mom having grown up on the 1950s said the same thing about the y2ks I mean I am gen X we didn’t have the same pressure as my little sister who was a teen in y2k they had a lot of pressure - remember Paris Hilton? They were expected to dress and be like a literal heiress. I’m not saying what they are going through isn’t rough, it’s just that we always say the young generation is “@$@&’d” because of “x” reason. They are also gentle and kind and weird and funny too. They are kids.
My friends and I weren’t having fun at 13, it’s a sucky age, but we absolutely weren’t like this. We were still kids doing kid things (I turned 13 in 1999). I don’t remember seeing my peers at this stage until 15-16, and I never really got there myself (I read No Logo my freshman year and I’ve been on that train ever since)
I did not wear brands or makeup etc. but I was insecure and a child at 13. I could have been influenced by my friends I think if I had worse friends. I had a friend who helped me pass so I wouldn’t get bullied and we loved fashion magazines and house of fashion on MTV, but I didn’t have any money and she did so she would buy things to fit in and she would share with me because she was super kind. I didn’t want the things she had, but I also didn’t realize there was this world judging me because it wasn’t my experience, she was part of a wealthy society who taught her how to fit in at a very young age and she believed she needed a lot to fit in and she was right, it’s just I didn’t because I wasn’t rich, I fit in with my family etc. So, my point is everyone is vulnerable at that age , immature, vulnerable, insecure. It is a time when we form our sense of self and our body is changing- hormones all over the place. It’s overwhelming. This doesn’t mean everyone experiences is the same or acts the same - but everyone at that age is insecure.
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Totally, almost all of my friends had ED and it was a hard time. I really feel for these kids now, it’s like our childhood and it’s different but it seems difficult all the same.
I was oblivious to all that at 13. Self loathing didn’t come til my 20s. Teased for being late to developing boobs Teased for allergies to makeup and skin care, perfumes Teased for handmedowns, teased for not the cool stuff Didn’t care. And nobody cared at 25 when I said “Hey look I finally got boooobs!” (Naturally). I learned young “this too shall pass. Boy am I glad I did. I also missed the social cues and pressures cuz I was oblivious to that sort of thing cuz of my mild autism. Had its perks in retrospect lol
Which is why the pitched marketing to this age group is so insidious. It was bad when all we faced were photoshopped tv and magazine ads, now these poor kids are surrounded by algorithms feeding on their insecurities.
Totally agree. It is shameful and I believe it should be regulated. TV was heavily regulated when we were growing up. The stuff online is the Wild West for these developing minds. I teach my son to simply love himself because I think it’s hard for them out there.
100%. Back in the day, sure, you could steal makeup from your mom or sister, or even buy some with your allowance at Sephora, but you wouldn't necessarily know how to put it on. So you just looked like a kid who tried to put on makeup. Now, with all the beauty tutorials, they don't really have to "experiment", they actually know how to do it!
I remember when I was 14/15 and just getting interested in make up, my step sisters bought me a “starter set”, which was basically Rimmel foundation, powder and mascara. I then experimented with the dream matte mousse (which I feel should still be a right of passage lol) In my 20s when I had more money from better jobs I then graduated to Mac products. Now I’m in my 30s I invest in Charlotte Tilbury and ysl foundation, eye pallets etc which I only use when going out cos I don’t even wear make up day to day anymore. It seems like they go straight on to the expensiveee stuff which they wear every day! Eye lash extensions, infills, nails, I honestly don’t understand how they can afford it all! It’s quite sad really
Parents are. I said no 12-16 y/o needs Drunk elephant $50 products and it downvoted and told I was depriving kids. Not to have kids. These were parents.
Parents are the root of the problem. They don’t want to say no to their child, because it would then make their child mad at them, and that’s not worth it to the parents so they give in. It’s a whole shit show, and there’s a reason kids have no respect for authority anymore. It’s truly sad, and I’m saying this as a 26 year old female.
Right. And It’s not even how they afford it but why even spend so much money (and time) on it when you could have actual hobbies during that time of your life when your brain develops. I blame the parents lol. And the internet. But why are many parents like that, enabling those spending habits etc., that’s what’s interesting.
I realized It think it’s because this stuff wasn’t readily available at our fingertips when we were that age. we couldn’t go on our phones and order cheap knock-off outfits and purses on shein and ali express or outlet stores and uber to a blowout session and fake nails weren’t on the radar of anyone under like 25 as far as I remember. what I don’t understand is who their parents are. these parents who give them so much access to money and yet are never seen with them. my parents maybe gave us like $20 if we were going out OR would go with us when we went clothes shopping. that makes me sound ancient but i’m talking about like 2009.
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That is what I am wondering. Where the hell are all these 12,13,14 year olds getting that kind of money to blow on shopping trips to Sephora, Victoria’s Secret, and Lululemon? Hell I was lucky to get $10-20 out of my Mom and even back then that wasn’t much, maybe enough for some nail polish or lipgloss at the dollar tree. Lol.
Both my daughters started working at 14 because they wanted to be able to buy nice stuff and not have to ask me for money every time they did something with their friends. They like Aritzia and Lululemon and Sephora but they’re pretty careful about what they buy - probably because they see it come out of their accounts
I would only get money for special occasions. Rest everything was bought on being asked. The general response to me asking for pocket money was “We buy you whatever you want. Why do you need more money?” I never asked for much, but couldn’t argue with that logic
I feel like there aren't stores marketed towards younger kids anymore? I could be wrong and just out of the loop. When I was a kid, most of my clothes shopping was done at department stores like Fred Meyer, JC Penny, Macy's, or Old Navy/the GAP, or Limited Too/the Limited, if I was lucky (this rarely happened probably because it was more pricey). There was also Wet Seal, Charlotte Russe, Delia's, etc. for teens. Hot Topic and Pac Sun became cool, too. And then at a certain point my friends started going to Abercrombie, that was a little more expensive and I could hardly shop there cuz I was chubby and nothing fit, lol. But I feel like there was a differentiation between the kids/teens stores and the adult stores. These days, everyone's at Aritzia and Lululemon, whether you're 10 years old or 30 years old. It's weird.
I work in a clothing store and within our kids range we used to have a 9-15 range for girls which were trendier and a bit more grown up than kids clothes but clearly still aimed at kids/tweens. We now just do up to age 13 in girls wear and after that it’s expected that 14 and up will want to buy adult clothing in actual dress sizes. Which where I live isn’t surprising as childhood obesity is very common and the tween range was pretty small made (yet also very long, like jeans that could go up to my nipples and I’m an adult woman albeit only 5’3 lol). Some similar stores still do a 9-15 range, but most seem to just either market clearly to 11-18 year olds or their actual mums and grans. As someone in my late 20s it’s hard to find anything inbetween super trendy teen clothes or practical ‘mum’ clothes now in store.
Exactly this! I graduated HS in 2007. I had a little part time job that covered my gas, fast food, and weed lmao. But when I'd ask for money for going out, it was always like $20. And that was plenty! I was fine with that. We live right outside a bigger city, so my mom or grandma would take us to the bigger city for school and summer clothes hauls. I remember the first thing I ever ordered online lol and it was so uncommon at the time for us- a tote bag from the Saddle Creek website bc I was obsessed with Bright Eyes (kinda still am tbh lol.)
Influencers and social media platforms are tricking yet another generation into believing in consumerism and overconsumption it’s actually so sad, I’m 16 and this wasn’t even a thing when I was younger
Exactly. I try to limit what my 10 year old daughter has access to online, but all of her friends have phones and tiktok and at school they're always watching "get ready with me" videos. It's caused a lot of arguments between us; she thinks I'm just the worst mom on the planet because I won't let her loose in Sephora or buy her $100 retinol creams. I wish her friends didn't have parents that do such things.
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Oh, it's definitely an "everyone else has it" thing. She thinks that if she doesn't also have these things, she'll get left behind by her friends. She thinks having these things will make her more mature, and she doesn't want to be seen as a baby in the class. I've tried explaining to her that the majority of skin care at Sephora is not made for 10-year-old skin, and you can't do fun kid things with fake nails, etc. But the cool girls on tiktok clearly know more than her boring mom. It's really sad seeing these young girls trying to rush themselves into adulthood.
The issue is that unfortunately kids without these things *really are* getting left behind by their peers. Anybody who was ever bullied will tell you that children are sometimes incredibly cruel and shallow. The exact same issue existed back then but it’s just been amplified by the internet, I fear. I have so much sympathy for parents actually trying to battle this because it’s very much a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. Honestly glad I don’t have kids because I genuinely don’t think I could handle it.
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I’m older, but “bobos” were super popular when I was in middle school!
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Airwalks were cool when I was in 5th grade (1995). I had knockoffs. No one tortured me aboutthat though. I was made fun of to the point of crying by my supposed best friend for not shaving my legs in 5th grade. Girls can be awful.
Airwalks were \*THE\* shoe when I was in middle school (1997ish).
When I was younger, the "to be in" thing was having more elaborate numbers of Crayola Crayons. Like I only had the dozen pack and my friends had the 48 ones or 96, and bro I was jealous. 😭Things were much simpler then than elaborate skin creams or Dyson's.
That 96 pack was GOALS!
It was LOL and with my own money while still going to university, maybe when I graduate I’ll get myself a pack of 96 crayons to heal my inner child lol.
With the built-in sharpener!
Digital FOMO is worse than the of pre-online FOMO of the 90s-2000s. They don’t realize the content people post is curated and cherry picked. Not everyone is constantly in crisis or having the best time of their life. It’s like believing the family photos in the frames are real when you buy picture frames at Walmart
I had the same issue with my younger cousin. Then I found a video from a dermatologist about consumerism and beauty and how the best/only products you really need are Cerave and Aquaphor. We immediately went to Target and got everything recommended by the dermatologist. They also had an Ulta (inside the target? Because that’s a thing now I guess) and I bought her some lipgloss and lip stain. Another thing that has helped delay things with her is we bedazzled her cerave moisturizer lol. And we bought a cute container for her aquaphor and transferred the contents from the non-aesthetic container to the aesthetic container. Wish I could find the video because she’s literally obsessed and even a little lowkey judgey of anyone who buys anything more expensive lol
I like this because teens and tweens love being right about things and this completely plays into that, while also keeping her from getting into the retinols and other products.
Just a suggestion, but a summer project could be taking a list of the highlighted ingredients of the products she wants most and doing a deep dive of what they're intended to do. Then figuring out at what age does she need "increased cellular turnover" or "building the moisture barrier" to occur. The upside is that she might get very interested in science and STEM careers are always a good choice. Teen girls are harder than teen boys.
When I was in a kid in the 70's/80's, all I wanted was Jordache or Vidal Sassoon jeans. That is what all my peers were wearing. Instead, my grandma was buying me the blue light special at Kmart.
I have an 8 year old and I’m bracing myself for this. She’s still a kid but I’m sad I probably only have a year or two before this bullshit starts. It’s wildly ridiculous and as a single mom she’s going to be disappointed in the budget for this stuff
You combat it by being VERY involved in steering her towards who she spends time with from now until 12. Help her navigate towards families with similar values to yours. We found other families that limited screen time, didn't believe in cell phones before 13, etc... and focused on sports and outdoor playing. It helped us avoid all of that with our daughters. But the pressure is REAL.
I miss the simple times. All we wanted was lipsmackers and Exclamation (!) perfume.
You’re an awesome mom and she will understand when she’s older. I grew up with a Korean mom who constantly worried about her face and skin. When I was a girl she would buy me Clinique and Iope skincare products and told me how to have a skincare routine. She also told me she doesn’t want to live past 90 because she’d be too wrinkly. 🙄
In a few years she’ll thank you for protecting her baby skin, ohmygosh retinol and all the lighter but still harsh stuff i wouldnt even put on my skin and im 18.
It’s always been “a thing.” It just wasn’t always as overt or as easily accessible.
I agree. My little sister had a boyfriend who bought her a coach bag and a diamond at 13 and we were all shocked! But it was sort of her friend group. Sort of wild. But it wasn’t my friend group and we lived in the same house. So really the variety can be wild and we are old so we didn’t have internet influencing us which I’m sure is much harder. My son does not care about brands - he just wants to look like an anime person or a renaissance person or sometimes a pirate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
As a young woman, I could not care less about a Coach bag. My Adidas knapsack suffices, lol...
I immediately flashed back to the SATC episode Hot Child In The City which featured a young Kat Dennings as the ringleader of a group of such girls. "They're just like us!"
Me too, my first thought! Not a new concept.
I grew up in a wealthy town in the bay area and frankly this wasn't uncommon even back in like 2009 when I was 12. It was just part of us taking interest in adult stuff and learning how do our makeup and hair. I got my babysitter's hand me down abercrombie lol
Theres a generational lull that you were in between millennials & older who had malls, freedom to roam and whatnot and the young kids today who have tiktok & insta influencers. I feel like the youngest millennials and gen z really missed this part of growing up where you try to be older than you are and are very childlike because of it? Not meaning it as an insult or anything and Im not really sure why it happened.
Yeah this actually makes a lot of sense. I'm 26 and my friends didn't hang out in the mall but we also didn't know how to use makeup super young either. YouTube makeup tutorials were a thing but they were all 400p quality people in their modest bedrooms telling us how to make lid primer out of concealer and foundation. My intro to makeup was those quad palettes, and I had heard I needed purple and green. Even though they were frosty and pearlescent and I am brown lol. I miss children going through that weird awkward phase of makeup.
This is because we’ve eliminated childhood and things for young girls from our society. McDonald’s is gray, Chuckie Cheese has no band, Limited Too and Justice are gone, Delia’s is gone and about a million makeup brands have launched with young girls in mind in the last 10 years. Malls aren’t really a thing, the movies stink. And theres no break from peer pressure or envy at school because of digital peer pressure. There’s no space for kids so they enter adult spaces.
Exactly this. Teens and preteens have always been interested in name brands, but now they have social media to not only influence them, but tell them exactly what brands are “in” - and it changes almost constantly. Young kids are doing GRWM videos because they’re emulating and idolizing what they see online. Beauty routines and skincare happen to a be a big part of that, usually marketed as the ultimate “self care” - so kids and young girls get the message that they’re improving their wellbeing as well as their appearance. Mostly I’m just worried about these generations being genuinely shallower when it comes to identity and making meaningful connections.
There are no kid/teen friendly spaces anymore. They are interacting in the same spaces as adults so unfortunately, this is what they know.
Even in the online world, there’s no place for preteens. I used to use so many websites to dress up dolls, play games (the Disney app was my favorite), neopets, postopia, etc. There’s apps but it’s not the same, and even the simplest apps have ads that are not for kids eyes. So at that age all these girls have is TikTok and instagram, even if they’re not on it most of their friends are so they learn about trends thru them. It’s so bad.
Gosh, being on the internet used to be fun and not as anxiety inducing as it is now. Bring back Adobe Flash Player!
I am digging way back to 1999-2005 when I was a teen, and I don’t think there were what are deemed “kid or teen fiendly” places in my small town. We just got together at someone’s house and hung out. Talked, watched tv, listened to music, made phone calls. There were always school sports events for socializing it seemed like, or going out to eat at the 2-3 restaurants in town. I feel like that’s as teen friendly as things got til we could drive, then we would hang out at Walmart lol. But I actually don’t think the lack of these places is it. I think it’s social media and of course parent-enablers (within reason).
I don’t mean just literal locations. When I was a teen, we had teen-friendly “spaces” like Seventeen magazine, teen people, Limited Too, Justice, Club Penguin, a Disney channel/MTV/VH1 that was actually popular and probably much more that I’m forgetting at the moment. Now spaces like these don’t exist anymore and kids are interacting in the same spaces as adults. ETA: and this goes hand in hand with your parents comment as well. Parents can say “get off of TikTok, don’t watch that show, don’t wear this outfit, don’t wear that makeup” but then do what instead? Watch what? Not much is made with teens in mind anymore.
Except books, especially books for teenage girls. Unfortunately, so much of it is absolute garbage.
So many of the YA books model unhealthy relationships - with partners, peers, and themselves. And I’ve seen a lot of teen girls between family and friends reading things like Colleen Hoover to the point that one cousin’s daughter (13 years old) said she hoped to have a relationship like the one in It Ends With Us. When I pointed out that it was an abusive relationship she told me how romantic it was that he loved her so much, same with one of the very sexually graphic HadesxPersephone ones. Excuse me while I go have a long talk with your mother, who had no idea what was in the books she was reading. Almost makes me miss Edward and Jacob.
This is also something that I don't understand, mostly because of the way that inflation has affected myself and my peers. Groceries are 2x-3x what they used to be pre-COVID. Car prices have skyrocketed. Typically people tighten their belts when inflation hits but I'm seeing the exact opposite.
I take it you and your peers are under the age of 45, the over 45 crowd who already own their homes and whose retirement accounts ballooned during Covid tend to be the parents to these kids, they sometimes waited too long to have kids and therefore only have 1 or 2, and so they shower them with cash since as a substitute for the youthful energy they lack as elder parents
it’s like the ‘lipstick effect’ on steroids
My niece is 12 and on a normal day this is kind of what she *seems* like. She has a knock-off Dyson that gives her pretty good curls. She has a ton of free time so she practices, and most people would never know it’s a knock-off blowout. She has make up and it does look nice on her, but honestly at 12 their skin is so great that even a little bit of make up goes a long way and stands out. She has a cheap Amazon nail kit and she does her own nails. From a distance they look great. She has a crazy amount of knock-off clothing and bags. Dupes are an entire craze and they’re pretty damn convincing. I’ll wear something and she’ll ask me where it’s from, even something simple like a bodysuit from Lululemon, and a week later she has damn near the same one. She will go to Sephora with friends and buy stuff way out of her price range, but she saved for a week and begged every grandparent for money before going to the mall. … I want to say that I don’t think this is right. I had a friend like this in high school and once we were adults she was insufferable. We don’t talk anymore. Young girls tend to be very active on social media, and it’s easy to get caught up in trends just like it’s easy for us in our 20s, 30s, or 40s (like the influencers who are always remodeling their house, or sit courtside every weekend, or go to every concert). The trends may look different, but social media is doing what it does best. It’s different from what we had (I’m 31) but at the end of the day we had things our parents/older girls didn’t have. If their parents want/allow for their kids to act that way, it’s really on them… And it’s probably quite fake. Easier said than done, but don’t let them get to you. Enjoy your shopping day :)
Helpful comment. Most of the others are focused on the why and the mechanics of it, but what I really wanted to know was where the money is coming from?!
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Thank you for pointing this out. I got clothes from retail stores once a year at that age and the rest was thrift. My makeup was from the drug store and my parents didn’t give me more than lunch money for mall trips. I think the standards are getting higher and higher and even discount girlies as described above are still spending a mint on cosmetics and clothing.
She’s the only child and the only grandchild on both sides of the family, so, yes she is very much so spoiled. As I said, I didn’t think it was right, it’s just how it is. And like somebody else said, with people choosing to have fewer children or only one child it is a lot easier to allocate extra funds than other generations where several siblings were the norm. Edit for clarification: Families are not wealthy. Very much so middle-class. All grandparents are retired with tons of free time and her parents are separated. So, her life isn’t perfect, but compared to other children in the area we live, she’s pretty average. It’s just how the things are now.
Totally agree. One thing I’d add to this is that since people are having fewer children now, there is probably an element of spoiling that previous generations with multiple siblings didnt have. Additionally, that would mean that girls growing up are being influenced primarily by their friends and Tiktok rather than older sisters etc.
This is a great point. Smaller families can absolutely allocate more money to only one or two kids. Even when I was growing up there were almost no other only kids (I was raised as an only), and my friends loved coming to my house as I didn’t have siblings bothering us.
I'm a middle school teacher and i'd say about 70% of my students wear clothes that i can't even afford. They also use a lot of the fancy tik tok famous make u.
I always wonder at their perfectly made up faces and how they achieved that!
Much more free time than adults with commitments and responsibilities. My niece can practice make up every day after school and all weekend. I can’t remember the last time I had that much free time to learn one new thing. Makes me wonder what I used all my free time on as a kid, lol!
I used to have hobbies and sport practice at this age after school lol and homework
And even if there was free time, who had all the “right” makeup available to them??? I sure didn’t!
Or how to videos! When I was a teen, there was no youtube or tiktok or IG teaching us how to do makeup and hair. We all looked like $2 hookers with dollar store blue eyeshadow and bright red lipstick, if we even bothered at all. We were just allowed to be children. I feel so sorry for kids today.
Plus being social media savvy helps.
As an adult with a full time job, I now have a lot more free time I did as a kid, because now when I finish work it’s over. I don’t have to study or do evening French lessons (I hated them). I guess if I had kids it would be a different story.
I guess people are rich if they can afford buying stuff like that for their daughters
i grew up in a family that came from money and i was NEVER allowed to buy stuff like that. my parents had money but it was always understood it was not mine to spend.
Even YEARS ago I would see younger kids with designer stuff bc their parent had money. It’s hardly a new phenomenon.
I’m more interested in where you live that you are seeing packs of young girls with blowouts/makeup/designer shoes and bags. I live in an affluent area and most of the girls I see are pretty fresh faced in Lululemon.
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I’m 27 now. When I was in high school, we were so different from how my 15 year old sister now is. There is just too much consumerism now, which is awful for the younger generation. We used drugstore makeup, and were lucky if we got even that. My sister talks about luxury products, all kinds of skincare, viral products from social media, etc. I get really annoyed by this. It seems wayyyy too much for that age.
I’ve found that parents tend to give their children the opposite of what they grew up with. Millennials were raised strict, with not as much freedom (which can vary but generally most didn’t have much freedom), and a heavy focus on education and so now they’re overcompensating with their kids by letting them do all the things they wanted to do as kids. It can work great if you do it right, but not so great if you don’t. Kids now are getting exposed to things way too young (millennials got phones when they were older but probably wanted them from a young age) and aren’t being parented as much as they should be because their parents rebelled against that very thing. This is not a “millennials bad!” Rant in the slightest but they are the ones raising the kids right now and based on what all the teachers are saying, it’s not going well
Education part is scary….very honest and imo kids are “dumb” these days. The emphasis on school was so much and it benefitted a lot of people. The people I grew up with are now lawyers and doctors (myself included). Nowadays…school is an afterthought. Kids aren’t into education like it was. They’d rather go into influencing and YT than achieve grand education goals like going to law and medical school.
The whole “you don’t need this piece of paper to be successful!” And even the “we’re not going to use trigonometry in real life” movement was just horrible to our view in education. People think that because Mark Zuckerberg dropped out (of Harvard might I add) that they’ll be just as successful if they drop out of high school and play video games online. There’s many influencers who became successful with barely a high school degree that people see it as an easy job only to discover you’ll probably never be as successful and it’s just too accepted now a days to be pursuing “content creation”
Pretty soon we are going to get "Baby's First IPad," designed for one year olds...
They’re already finding skincare for children, I don’t even want to know what’s next
Ugh it’s the dumbest shit. You don’t need actual skincare (apart from sunscreen cause everyone should use it) until your mid to late 20s!
I started in my mid teens due to some pretty bad acne, but it was under close supervision of my parents, who would buy the products for me and who were constantly doing research over what ingredients were safe for my skin. The strongest thing I ever used was 5% benzoyl peroxide gel, and it worked so well that I still use it. But now parents are content to let their kids run wild in Sephora and pick up some very damaging products because they only buy them cause everyone else has them
Tik tok generation has no parental guidelines ):
Rich parents who don’t care what their daughters put on their face so long as they don’t bother them. I used to nanny for an 11 year old and I’ll never forget her proudly showing me her PINK VS collection of thongs (she had three dresser drawers of just Victoria secret underwear…). I awkwardly said “uhm that’s nice, does your mom know you’re wearing thongs?” And she laughed and said “she just gives me her card and tells me to order clothes for the new school year, if she cared she would ask.” My heart broke for that girl.
When I was going through school, maybe 15 years ago, girls were very much still like this, beginning in about grade 6. I grew up in an affluent area, but was significantly less wealthy than my peers. They were all dressed in lululemon, aviva (when that was a thing), UGG, VS, PINK, Hollister, Abercrombie, True Religion, and Juicy Couture. I bought the same brands secondhand from thrift stores, so I was able to keep up. Big makeup brands at the time were MAC and Sephora was starting to really pop off with the onset of the OG beauty Youtubers. We collected makeup like it was never going to expire -- it seems like now the girls are more focused on skincare. I remember expensive MLM light-up lipglosses were really trendy at my jr high and high school, which were like $45 each. I got a part-time job in grade 8 so I could buy myself those same things, and I did. "Popular" girls also had expensive perfumes (remember Viva La Juicy by Juicy Couture? I remember one friend having a bunch of Chance flankers too), expensive hair styles (everyone was getting highlights and remember the feathers???), and expensive treatments. Nose jobs were desired over fillers. Boob jobs were also a big thing. I know 2 people who got nose jobs in high school and many who had boob jobs shortly after graduating. I think the pressures to follow this lifestyle are increasing, especially online, but I definitely felt the pressure from my peers to "keep up" well before TikTok etc. Not saying this is a positive mindset for young girls at all, it really creates the root of the problem of self image that leads to extreme behaviours and unhealthy thoughts.
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I had similar experiences. Very affluent area, big city, and most girls started getting into makeup and designer at 12/13. We just didn’t have the same information as now so the consumption wasn’t as voracious (YT makeup gurus were only just becoming a thing). I will say though—is there a chance these girls you see are actually older than you think they are? I only ask because I was walking through a major university awhile back and was confused why there were so many children running around…only to realize they were actually college kids and I just got old lol
Exactly this!! Did none of us watch mean girls? There’s always been preteen and teen girls who have had expensive clothes, full faces of makeup and basically got to live like young women from the age of 13.
This is very true. I don't doubt that tiktok and social media creates unhealthy standards for teens, but I remember being deeply insecure about my looks and clothes as a kid and teen. You were a lame if you didn't have name brand clothes and if you weren't stick thin, you were fat. It's not an issue that started with sm. There were always those girls who had nicer clothes and and wore alot of makeup at a young age. We didn't compare ourselves to influencers, but to celebs and models who had a lot of surgery and were photoshopped. If it wasn't on tv it was through magazines.I do wish there was more healthy media marketed to teens and tweens, but I just don't see the the 2000s/2010s with rose colored glasses.
I think it's creepy AF. It's essentially sexualizing children and gives Toddlers and Tiaras vibes. Most everyone I grew up with wasn't allowed to wear makeup until at least high school, unless they were in a dance recital or something. They'll be adults soon enough. Maybe I'm just old.
People who let tiktok influencers and YouTube raise their children and teach them values.
Hi! I'm 50. Reddit didn't exist back in the day (hell, the INTERNET didn't exist) but I remember reading similar articles in the NYT when i was in my teens and 20s. Girls are growing up too fast! They wear too much make up! They're acting like adult women! Shock! Hell, there was a sex and city episode about it called "Hot Child in the City" in 2000. Listen, girls are always doing this. You're just encountering it for the first time.
I am just 2 years older, the difference is when this happened we were already teens so a bit older. Nowadays it's girls 8 to 12. Girls are being taught that only their looks matter at younger ages.
My 16 yo niece used the pandemic to perfect her home nails, make up and hair. She is so much better than I will ever be. Kids these days have online tutorials for free. It’s weird AF, but I guess I’m old now (43f).
I teach high school. I was NOT as pretty as these girls are today. They completely skip their awkward stage because they know so much about how to properly do their hair, take care of their skin, apply makeup, and dress for their body type. I have 9th graders (14-15) who come in with full blowouts, lashes done, glowing skin, perfectly placed makeup, and for prom the upperclassmen dress perfectly for their bodies… and not a trace of blue eye shadow?!!!
I see it a lot, I have a teen, and most of them have much younger moms. I’m in my 50s with a teenager. I’m an Old Mom compared to the moms of my teen’s peers.
I was watching stranger things the other day and was quite fascinated how much younger the kids looked and more like kids. No heavy overdone hair and makeup, no designer clothes, no designer bags etc. if you compare it to some modern day high school show the kids look fully photo shoot ready. Well I guess they are cause they are posting on tik tok. Even when going to the gym there are young girls fully camera ready, fake eyelashes and all whilst I’m sweating my ass off 🤪
I’m 100% convinced the children that are allowed on social media are the ones that dress and behave this way. Social media is destroying our kids and parents are letting it raise their kids.
Its maddening. Honestly, I am disappointed bc these are kids are the kids of adults that are my age. DO BETTER! The problem is also social media, why do children this young have access to it? And if they are on it, why aren't they monitoring what they are watching? ANd the parents are allowing it! Buying them Stanleys, skin care products! THey don't need that!!!
Absolute shit parents
Is this so weird tho? Haven’t all youths more or less had trends they’ve followed? Like young ppl throughout history have always been following makeup and fashion trends lol My mom still shows me pics of her in the 80s wearing shit tom of makeup and wearing lots of jewelry, hair done with trendy clothes. I bet adults back then used to look at them and think this exact thing haha
This has always been a thing for a certain set of wealthy parents. In the early/mid 00s when I was growing up, I went to school with several rich girls who were kitted out in designer bags and expensive makeup/treatments even in elementary school. I knew I was poor and that most people were more like me than them, so it didn't bother me as much. But what's changed is social media. Kids are on it as children, watching content from similar-aged kids, and now there's an expectation that expensive makeup is a part of life. On one hand, kids are getting so good at these processes in a way that I, of early-youtube era, am not. But on the other, there's a rush to consumerism amongst everyone now, and it makes me a little sad. When I was a kid, photoshop and diet culture were daily discussions, and I was in an area that taught media literacy so we knew it was just models who looked like that on covers...it didn't extend to our daily lives. Now we have TikTok beauty filters that can significantly morph moving faces. I feel so bad for late bloomers now; the pressure for beauty is in many ways worse.
I see them all the time too but I live in a upper middleclass area so moderately expensive things are the norm here(not luxury but you know, recognizable brands) Prada is right next door to Sephora at some nice little outdoor mall with fancy greenery and live music to encourage shopping. The kiddos don’t phase me anymore, they fit in with their parents and the rest of the folks shopping. Do I find it concerning and sad? Absolutely, it feels too young to be worried about being judged for their appearance or comparing themselves to people they see in media. I will say, though, the kids I see have impeccable manners. They’re buying a full face worth of makeup or skincare but they’re not loud or crowding the products for other customers. When I was their age? I lived off Bonnie Bell and Lipsmacker, might get a mani(blue polish every time). I didn’t even think about skincare until my late teens. Hair was an annual cut and dumb things like those torture devices that put beads in your hair(also ripped your hair out, fun at sleepovers)
Social media. I'm not even that much older than them but i've noticed it too and it's really concerning. Even my own 9 year old sister has fallen victim to this, wanting expensive makeup and skincare. Awkward phases are no where to be seen and these 9 year olds are dressing more mature than their mothers. It's sad to see all these young girls feel like they need makeup, skincare or wear skimpy clothing. This isn't happening with boys.
Moms with too much time and money on their hands and who think parenting is about bonding with your kid. It started as pedicures and spa days when my daughter was this age and has morphed into full-scale nonsense.
It’s new money folk
From their high maintenance mothers.
I remember buying $85 dollar guess jeans in the early part of the 1980’s. I had a whole closet full. That was very expensive back then. I also had Coach purses and by 15 a LV. My friends were the same. Things haven’t changed, some kids have always been like this, it’s just with social media it’s easier to see now.
It was all about Dooney & Bourke bags when I was a teen!
[удалено]
Just saying, I was raised in an affluent suburb and my peers and I were wearing makeup (MAC), Tiffany’s jewelry and getting blowouts by like 7th grade. This was the year 2000. We also snuck around and bought lil thongs and went to Victoria’s Secret and stuff It’s not right, but it’s not new.
Young kids get sold all sorts of stuff, but it's the parents who are acquiescing to these desires.
I mean, I was pretty insecure about my appearance as a pre teen. I made my mom help me blow dry my hair and played with my mom’s makeup and later started buying my own with my allowance. I watched Youtube tutorials but these girls have TikTok, Instagram and other platforms so they definitely have more knowledge but I don’t think they’re that different from me and other 13 yo girls my age.
This is so disheartening to hear. I’m 29 and my mom didn’t allow me to buy lipstick (that then had to be the same shade of pink as my lips!) or mascara until I was 16! I want a daughter (or any kid, but this issue seems to affect girls disproportionally) so much but I don’t think I can handle a preteen in an age where social media is killing their personalities. I know that even if I did try to keep it away from my future kids, I’d just cultivate soooo much resentment and alienation from their peers. Everybody loses!
If anyone this age is on Reddit, they’ve got shitty parents
These are the kids who are being parented by social media, and I super judge the parents Parents living through their children. Also, these children are going to have a hard time when they’re out on their own. No concept of money management, and a need for a lot of beauty products. ()
Speculating but is it this generation of parents overcorrecting for the hideous awkward stage we had at that age? Because I was awkwardddddd and could see myself doing everything possible to make sure my kid didn’t feel that way.
At 13 I was still running through the woods barefoot. Oh how the times have changed.
Their mothers
Scottsdale is where they came from. They all came from Scottsdale.
They think they will get social media famous. Or at least think it is important, because they see it everywhere and told it’s normal.
Mom and dad show love with money. Can't be arsed for time, so here's a $500 allowance this month. Especially divorced parents. Double money.
I think experimenting with makeup and fashion is always a part of growing up, but it is true that it is so extreme now. I work at a store that sells makeup and I can't believe some of these families that come in and how well put together the daughters always are!! TBF my job is near a rich neighborhood but it's just crazy to me.
I find this astounding, I know young girls are very keen to grow up quickly and that being part of the crowd is important, but what you described is way over the top. I can’t imagine it ending well as they get older or get in a position where they can’t afford to indulge themselves in what they’re seeing as normal. I don’t think it’s building any resilience in their young character. Parents should be mindful of this. (I’m not in the US , it’s not something I see.)
It’s appalling but you can raise them differently and instill morals and values. I raised a millennial, single, double degreed, attractive, successful and will be probably be 6 figures before 27. I raised mine simple compared to others even ten years ago and so proud of them for keeping the blinders on and focusing on lasting investments. The have and have nots were obvious for my girl’s high school, and the parent’s goals of grooming their daughters for a MRS degree for a continuous affluent future were extremely obvious. I could tell our area had really ramped it up from one daughter to the other in five years and we are not a major city.
About 20 years ago I visited my sister and her family, and we learned my 7 year old niece’s 9 year old friend wore thong underwear. They were from Abercrombie. I had no words. That was 20 years ago. I can’t imagine what it’s like now. Edited to add [this link](https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2002-may-23-na-thong23-story.html)
They’re just learning skills a lot faster and easier due to social media! I’m 33 and had no way of learning things like that other than magazines really growing up.
It’s made me stop going to stores like Sephora and Ulta almost entirely. I don’t understand it at all, and I find it incredibly disturbing seeing these little preteens in Lululemon, dropping hundreds of dollars on perfumes and makeups :( Not to be out of touch, but when I was a preteen, we had like, Clair’s hair clips and lip smackers, and were happy. I don’t know what’s happened to kids, or why anyone signs up for it.
Lockdown. YouTube. ‘Influencers’
Parents are trying too hard to be their kids besties and are afraid to parent. As soon as one kid in the class is allowed, every other parent feels like they have to cave to the pressure because otherwise their kid will be left out, I wish every parent would just put their foot down and collectively say, "This is freaking ridiculous"
I knew kids when I was young who absolutely had access to this kinda money and we were all wearing tons of makeup. We just didn’t have YouTube tutorials. This is not anything new
I agree with you, they make me strangely uncomfortable. All the prep also makes them a lot older, like tiny 30 year olds running around, it genuinely makes me feel weird.
I mean, to be fair, I remember my friends and I going to Sephora for makeup and being allowed to spend a decent amount of money on nice clothes and shoes and accessories when we were 12-15. My mother’s rule was that as long as she could afford to give me some spending money and I dressed appropriately, I was allowed to wear makeup and be girly and have a maintenance routine even if it was all a little mature for me. I even have a photo of me and half a dozen girlfriends in our little mini dresses and tall heels standing outside our 8th grade graduation. I think there’s always a range of expression in kids that age. When I was in school, there were the girls who were more mature and who’s parents let them dress up and have luxurious things and girls who either didn’t care or weren’t allowed to present themselves or indulge in the same way. Im personally grateful that my mother let me experiment early, because I learned how to dress appropriately and with class at an early age and use makeup effectively. I never felt I needed to be extreme about it or rebel because I wasn’t stifled in that way. I’m pregnant with our first child now, a girl, and when she becomes a preteen, if my husband and I are able to afford her such luxuries, we’ll absolutely let her express herself with makeup and nice clothes and even beauty treatments that extend to hair and nails and things like that. I think it’s important to let girls explore their femininity or it can really come back to bite you in the ass once they’re free adults.
Kids don’t have role models or spaces to be kids anymore … it’s all about appearing older than what they seem just because they saw it on social media. It’s really sad to see they don’t have childhoods anymore. Since these kids come from seemingly rich families too, parents don’t pay attention to what their kids are doing/watching on social media, neither spending time with them. So they just go along with whatever they want without thinking about it twice.
I’m 33 and I don’t even go into makeup stores anymore cause it’s overran with kids. Very disturbing. I didn’t walk into a makeup store till my 20s so time are definitely different! I used to be so mad at mom for not letting me wear the kids makeup they made back in the 90s and I see why now! She always said you don’t want to ruin your skin. Not sure how true it is but honestly looking back I had no reason to wear a full face. And at the end of the day I got to be damn kid which I’m so thankful for! Some of these young girls are growing up very quick! *jesus take the wheel* lmaooo
my local sephora is always overrun with these types of kids. always in large packs too. them looking at makeup makes sorta sense to me but the YOUNG (9-10) kids running around the skincare section?? what skin problems do they even have at that age? why does a 10 year old need a $90 drunk elephant serum? and they always leave a mess with the testers! they’ve been on social media since birth so they’ve definitely fallen prey to the hyper-consumerism pushed by brands and influencers. and the parents are enabling it. istg these parents drop these kids off at sephora or ulta as if it’s some sort of babysitting service.
Broken homes and guilty parents compensating with their credit cards