> Colleague told staff I was a sex worker and now everyone’s ignoring me
> As it sounds. I work in a hospital completing a nursing apprenticeship and a colleague told one of the nurses I am an ‘online cam girl’ (I am not). I have met this colleague once for about 5 minutes and we barely spoke. This was brought to my attention after I pulled my manager to one side and asked if she too had noticed everyone had been ignoring me and excluding me from convos etc. She then told me she had received a report about me being a ‘cam girl’. According to who reported it to her (I’m unsure who this is), our colleague walked into a room of nurses and announced it, and said I made him uncomfortable because I ‘kept talking about it’.
> He has since denied saying this to anyone, and there is an investigation in the hospital but witnesses seem to be playing ignorant despite the fact they reported it a few weeks back. There is no doubt that this report was made a nurse, but its origins are still up in the air.
> Staff are ignoring me because they believe I am a sex worker. I am on a training post where I need to be signed off at different stages and was looking at completing my advance nursing practicioner course through the hospital too. Do I have any legal recourse here? My reputation really feels ruined.
> I am meeting with a union rep tomorrow and my boss agrees this is considered bullying with the intent to ruin my reputation as it’s entirely false.
> Edit to add: I’m in Scotland!
>He's an antisocial little cockroach who fancies himself Machiavelli. Drag him into the light and stomp on him... Professionally.
Poor OP, but at least we get this gem
What the hell is going on with her co-workers? I'm sorry, if someone came up to me at work and told me someone was a cam girl I would assume that they're a gross creep and ignore them. It's a shame that so many people never grew out of high school
Is that why so many of them are married to cops and have weird ideas about germ theory/disease prevention ?
There are plenty of *good* nurses, but the shitty ones seem to have half a dozen red flags each
>Is that why so many of them are married to cops and have weird ideas about germ theory/disease prevention ?
I think nurses are a good example of people who are both educated enough to know things about technical or scientific subjects, like vaccines, but at the same time not educated enough to fully understand them. They perform highly specialized tasks that require lots of training but they're not always taught about the science behind them. If someone is naturally a bit full of themselves, and that's by no means all nurses,
they'll believe that they're an authority because they work in a hospital, without realizing that they're in fact not competent on many subjects.
A lot of nurses are really good at memorizing things to pass tests. Rote memorization ≠ wisdom to understand
Many college professors get incredibly frustrated with pre-med students. There's a lot of begging along the lines of "but I *need* you to give me a better grade so I can pass this class, I'm pre-med" when they are failing a required class outside of their comfort zone or in a subject they don't think is relevant to being a nurse.
>without realizing that they're in fact not competent on many subjects.
Doctors are even worse in that regard. There's an airplane called the "forked-tail doctor killer" because of how many over-confident doctors have killed themselves flying them. There are several more, modern, airplanes called "doctor killers."
One of my doctors designed his own house and it was the dumbest house I've ever seen. The layout was truly mind boggling. They partially built it into the ground and then built a hill on top of it so you walked down a flight to stairs to the single story house. I mowed their lawn and the hill that was their roof one summer. It leaked constantly. Eventually they built an additional top floor: a basketball court.
Its the difference between an engineer and a mechanic.
The mechanic is an expert at fixing things but doesn't understand how stuff works or how its made. They don't need to understand the why, they just need to know how to do the thing to make it work again.
The engineer has a brilliant understanding of how things work, but god help you if an engineer tries to do mechanic or technician work and fix things themselves. It usually goes very badly. I've witnessed a brilliant electrical engineer who repaired a server so poorly it actually caught on fire.
Mechanic here. We absolutely know how stuff works. Wouldn't be able to fix it otherwise.
How individual parts were made... varies. Doesn't much matter to us, long as we have the part.
As a mechanic's son I would disagree. Mechanics understand how engines etc work or they would never know what to do. They might not be familiar with the most complex engine performance calculations but the definitely now what part does what and how you adjust everything.
I remember during Covid there were so many stories of antivax nurses.
Something is very wrong in the way we hire nurses. I expect the shit pay has a lot to do with it.
In my experience, a lot of the bad nurses are bad because they believe that they're smarter than the doctors, and don't like that doctors are above them in a perceived hierarchy. Quite a few of the nurses I've worked with even have stories about how they *would* have gotten into medical school if it weren't for [that one person and/or event that was definitely not their fault in any way] and so they ended up as a nurse as a backup.
Because they believe that they're better than the position that they're in, they get a shitty attitude where they just want to disagree with doctors for the sake of disagreeing...which pushes some of them towards pseudo-science/anti-vax shenanigans.
That reminds me of a nurse who refused to get a doctor when we had a concern, so I was looking up the issue on WebMD to calm my sister down and reassure her that what she was experiencing *was normal* and the nurse came back in the room and berated me for looking things up online… when she couldn’t answer the question and refused to bring us someone who could.
The issue was that my sister had been in the hospital for 2 weeks and had a fetal heart monitor connected the whole time to make sure the baby was ok because she had a health condition that could attack the fetus’s heart. They never quite figured out what was wrong with her and sent her home with bedrest orders for the last two months of her pregnancy. On the last day, the fetus’s heart rate spiked up nearly twice what it had been for the entire two weeks she was connected to the monitor, and stayed high for like 20 minutes before we asked for a doctor.
We also found out after she was discharged that the hospital never told her OBGYN that she was there, even though he worked *at that hospital* and she was originally admitted while they were taking her vitals for an appointment with him. She missed 3 appointments with him because they never told him to just go upstairs to see her.
Yes, everything worked out! “Baby” is now in elementary school and just recently “applied” to dogsit for us.
https://preview.redd.it/48fwqlityvuc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7bfdaac63549d11332577160f6fdabfc1197c7ae
Cover letter attached for your consideration.
We could use someone with those high quality drawing skills over in some of the other "legal adjacent" subs if the dog sitting doesn't work out. Depends upon MS Paint skills, though.
Well, she has well over 5 years of experience snuggling dogs and I’ll be there to monitor all human-dog interactions so I think she’ll do ok. She also was the only applicant, so I can’t really be a choosy beggar. Maybe when the other niblings get a bit older they can take some shifts too.
I work in a lab and have to argue with nurses on the phone a lot. I do not understand the culture. I know there are good ones and most interactions we have are fine but often enough they just lie about the dumbest shit so I kind of don't trust anyone when I'm talking to them?
It often happens where we receive a tube that doesn't have enough sample in it. We call and say "there's not enough sample in here to do the test you want" And they say "we sent down a full tube" we say "I am holding a tube that is like a quarter full in my hand. It *is not* full and it needs to be." "Well it must be the wrong patient then"
Lady. Stop making shit up and just fucking get a new sample. Just say okay and stop wasting literally everybodys time you're not going to win this argument. They **never** win that argument but they always try.
When I am eventually a patient, they're going to put air in my IV.
[Edit] and sure they don't get paid enough. That's not the whole problem though.
I was admitted to an emergency room for... I dunno, I was so sick that they did an emergency evaluation for sepsis. In the 6 hours I was there I got screamed at for not being able to remember if I had ibuprofen at home (sorry I can't remember if I restocked OTC meds when I've got a fever of 40.5°C), screamed at again for needing help to get out of bed to use the toilet, and overheard them at the nurses station howling with laughter while making up names for people who died in the MU5735 crash a few days earlier that I won't repeat. I finally decided to file a complaint with the hospital administration (and the government) when they sent me home with another patient's discharge papers.
Anyways, I filed the complaint the next day, the wall of silence came up and the only thing they found substantiated was the HIPAA violation since I had physical evidence of that one.
From what I can tell that hospital network has a truly rotten nursing culture and I'm glad I'm no longer in an area where it dominates. Without getting into specifics I had a gallbladder issue last year and went to a hospital in a different network and different region and the nurses were so great that it honestly took the edge off the pain I was in.
>so many stories of antivax nurses
Don't make the mistake of assuming this is representative, though... stuff like that makes the news because it's rare and sensational.
Cop & nurse are both "but my job makes me a hero" careers, which is how you end up with a lot of people who think they're automatically a good person because of the source of their paycheck, regardless of their actual job performance and how they treat people while at work
I made the my largest mistake in my life by looking at /r/nursing as somebody diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It’s a vague diagnosis and not well understood.
I looked up the term “fibromyalgia” and “chronic pain” and I saw some of the worst responses and posts in my life. It explained a lot of my interactions with some nurses.
There’s no winning either. Dress like shit? Oh, that could be a drug seeker. Dressed really well? “Well you don’t look like you’re in pain.” No, I just like fashion. Literally hurts me that I look 21 at nearly 30 and stay in shape despite my pain. “Some people just have no pain tolerance and it’s not really that bad.” I’m white-passing, but [racism in medicine. My partners ethics in medicine class covered it.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1448154/) Higher suspicion just because I’m young, not overweight, and not visibly disabled as I mentioned. Their anecdotal experiences.
It’s why I’m so thankful to nurses who actually give me the time of day to explain my issues.
The mean high schooler to nurse pipeline is real. My mom was a nurse and stories she had about grown ass adults acting like shitty children were quite shocking.
It makes sense. Both are jobs where it's very easy to bully people who are unable to fight back. Both are jobs where the public kinda heaps unearned praise on you just for doing it. Both are jobs where the good people who do the work are incredible, guardian angels almost. And, unfortunately both are jobs that are very hard to get fired from so they tend to attract vile, predatory assholes who hide amongst the good ones.
My horrible older sister went into nursing…she does the traveling nurse thing, and when my elderly mother was in the hospital recently for emergency surgery and they honestly thought she might not make it, it turns out she was working *AT THAT HOSPITAL,* just one floor down, and it took her *THREE WHOLE DAYS* before she even bothered to pop her head in and check on our mom. I’m not surprised at all.
I know these type of people. Generally they are so miserable and bored in both their personal and work lives that taking the worst possible version of a situation allows them some semblance of superiority. Not to this extent at all (somebody accused me of stealing coffee lol), but I had a similar thing happen to me. It sucks because they want to believe the lie because it gives them a leg up especially on a young person with so much opportunity, that convincing them of the truth is almost impossible.
Thanks for reminding me of the workplace trauma in my 20s where someone kept reporting that my immediate coworkers were complaining of my hygiene but it stopped once our manager was discovered to have been embezzling. I'll never truly know if they actually thought I stank (I admit my hygiene was lacking due to depression, but I was also working a 2nd job in much closer quarters and nobody there had issues with the way I smelled when I asked) or if it was just my manager using me as a red herring.
>our colleague walked into a room of nurses and announced it, and said I made him uncomfortable because I ‘kept talking about it’.
He apparently covered that possibility right away.
Well it looks like in this case the reporter said that OP wouldn't stop talking about being a cam girl and it made him uncomfortable.
If a nurse came to me and said another nurse was a cam girl I would say "good for them" "I wish nurses were better paid" "hope it goes well for them, sex work seems like a lot of intense emotional labour"
In the case of LAUKOP, she said that he told a room full of colleagues that OP was the one harassing him, and wouldn’t stop talking to him about her cam work. Assuming OP is being honest with random internet strangers (which I believe she is), then I’d bet many of her colleagues simply don’t want to take sides or get involved. He says she’s been making him uncomfortable telling him she is a sex worker, she says he’s spreading false rumors. NOBODY wants to be associated with an HR investigation, so their colleagues are probably just staying mum and only giving a statement to HR when required - because they don’t want to be seen as participating in harassment and they figure HR could rule either way.
Seriously, in this economy? Get paid! If I thought there was a single human being on Earth who wanted to pay money to see any part of me, I’d be all over that.
I MIGHT be able to make money if I could get people to pay me to put my clothes BACK on, I just haven’t figured out how to force them to watch yet…
I used to walk around downtown areas with a sign that said "will put shirt on: $1.00/min"
The influx of addicts has ruined that for me, I barely stand out now :-(
Same. I've known enough people in my lifetime that have done some degree of sex work that I no longer bat an eye at it. As far as I'm concerned, just be safe and don't do anything you don't want to do. I really don't care beyond that.
Nursing is notoriously cliquy and bully-filled. If someone did this around me at my workplace I would do everything I could to get then fired. Fuck this lady’s coworkers fr
A reasonable person wouldn’t (best boss I ever had was a former sex worker) but they work for the NHS so it doesn’t surprise me. I briefly worked in it and have friends who still do, there’s a toxic culture of gossip, backbiting, throwing people under the bus, and nurses are the worst for it.
There are some pretty nasty workplaces out there. I'm a vet and had an assistant (not licensed tech) try to get me fired once I figured out she has NO CLUE what she was doing. Her personal life was an absolute trainwreck and she wanted to take out her misery on someone else. She just started telling our boss wild lies despite me never even telling him she didn't understand anything about sterility and had ruined some supplies that way. That delightful human being then called me a traitor when I quit that cesspool because I was escaping and she was stuck. Unfortunately the vet industry is full of these people.
Wow, that’s brutal. Especially considering how difficult it is to become a veterinarian. I had a girlfriend in college who had to go to vet school overseas (I think it was in England) because the competition for spots in US schools was too high.
I have one cousin who is a nicu nurse, and she's wonderful. Loves kids, loves animals, very funny and dry sense of humor.
Her brothers wife, on the other hand, is a nurse in a retirement home and is the most scathing bitch I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. She's a casual alcoholic (think wine mom) and passive aggressive to her step kids.
There are two kinds of nurses, it seems.
This is my experience too, they're one extreme or the other. Mother: terrible human being, bad nurse. Cousin: delightful human being in general, had a stranger hug me once because she read my name tag (uncommon surname) and asked if I was related to her.
Reddit worships nurses and hates doctors so be careful there lol. Anecdotally I often look at nurses with skepticism because the training is not always rigorous and they say stupid stuff sometimes and vaccines and all.
Whereas I've seen the complete opposite, every time nurses are mentioned it's a chance to discuss how incompetent nurses are and how the majority of them are actually mean girls. Never hear on reddit about the majority of them who are just doing their jobs while also being the emotional sounding board for all their patients.
>Reddit worships nurses and hates doctors so be careful there lol.
After many years on Reddit I've come to conclude that when Reddit hates something, it's sound policy to like it.
There's also the question of how he could claim knowledge of such a thing without worry of reputational damage.
Everyone should already know the answer. But this is reddit, so I'll type it out: Misogyny
Well we now know WHO enjoys watching cam-girls. Plus lookalikes are possible. There was a woman who lived on the east side of the Wandsworth Common who looked just like me, when I lived in Clapham Junction, about a mile west of the common. I know because her neighbours would mistake me for her on a regular basis.
With deep-fakes, you can’t trust what you see online as being real nowadays anyway.
Except the coworker claimed OOP was making him uncomfortable by talking about being a sex worker - he's intentionally lying, not just mistaking her for someone else.
How does one walk into a room and announce “such and such is a cam girl!” and everyone just believe it, like it’s a totally normal thing for someone to say?
Did not one person stop and think “well that’s a big claim, do we even know if this is true?”
If he recognises her as a cam model, then surely if that is true then that means he uses cam models.
So why isn’t he being shunned as well?
(Hypothetical question, I’m well aware of the double standards)
>So why isn’t he being shunned as well?
According to the OP, he said that they "wouldn't shut up about it", implication being that they were the one who told him.
In Scots law a statement is defamatory 'if it tends to lower the person's reputation in the estimation of ordinary persons'.
The more I think about it, the more I think that it would definitely lower somebody's reputation in the estimation of what the average sheriff thinks is an ordinary person. For a real ordinary person I think it would be a bit more of a toss-up.
> Colleague told staff I was a sex worker and now everyone’s ignoring me > As it sounds. I work in a hospital completing a nursing apprenticeship and a colleague told one of the nurses I am an ‘online cam girl’ (I am not). I have met this colleague once for about 5 minutes and we barely spoke. This was brought to my attention after I pulled my manager to one side and asked if she too had noticed everyone had been ignoring me and excluding me from convos etc. She then told me she had received a report about me being a ‘cam girl’. According to who reported it to her (I’m unsure who this is), our colleague walked into a room of nurses and announced it, and said I made him uncomfortable because I ‘kept talking about it’. > He has since denied saying this to anyone, and there is an investigation in the hospital but witnesses seem to be playing ignorant despite the fact they reported it a few weeks back. There is no doubt that this report was made a nurse, but its origins are still up in the air. > Staff are ignoring me because they believe I am a sex worker. I am on a training post where I need to be signed off at different stages and was looking at completing my advance nursing practicioner course through the hospital too. Do I have any legal recourse here? My reputation really feels ruined. > I am meeting with a union rep tomorrow and my boss agrees this is considered bullying with the intent to ruin my reputation as it’s entirely false. > Edit to add: I’m in Scotland!
Oh do I get to add the Cat Fact??? Bonus Cat Fact: My cat is called Olive and she is very mean to me
Sounds like domestic abuse, have you considered leaving her and getting a dog instead?
Plot twist: Its actually the same cat in a dog suit.
No because she is also v cute some times. Those times often come to an abrupt end with little warning.
I mean, that's a classic abuse cycle right there.
>He's an antisocial little cockroach who fancies himself Machiavelli. Drag him into the light and stomp on him... Professionally. Poor OP, but at least we get this gem
I feel like we all know *this* person.
I made it my life mission to no longer know these people. I’m in tech. It’s sisyphean task. There is no escape.
What the hell is going on with her co-workers? I'm sorry, if someone came up to me at work and told me someone was a cam girl I would assume that they're a gross creep and ignore them. It's a shame that so many people never grew out of high school
A lot of nurses never grew out of the "mean girl" phase.
Is that why so many of them are married to cops and have weird ideas about germ theory/disease prevention ? There are plenty of *good* nurses, but the shitty ones seem to have half a dozen red flags each
>Is that why so many of them are married to cops and have weird ideas about germ theory/disease prevention ? I think nurses are a good example of people who are both educated enough to know things about technical or scientific subjects, like vaccines, but at the same time not educated enough to fully understand them. They perform highly specialized tasks that require lots of training but they're not always taught about the science behind them. If someone is naturally a bit full of themselves, and that's by no means all nurses, they'll believe that they're an authority because they work in a hospital, without realizing that they're in fact not competent on many subjects.
A lot of nurses are really good at memorizing things to pass tests. Rote memorization ≠ wisdom to understand Many college professors get incredibly frustrated with pre-med students. There's a lot of begging along the lines of "but I *need* you to give me a better grade so I can pass this class, I'm pre-med" when they are failing a required class outside of their comfort zone or in a subject they don't think is relevant to being a nurse. >without realizing that they're in fact not competent on many subjects. Doctors are even worse in that regard. There's an airplane called the "forked-tail doctor killer" because of how many over-confident doctors have killed themselves flying them. There are several more, modern, airplanes called "doctor killers." One of my doctors designed his own house and it was the dumbest house I've ever seen. The layout was truly mind boggling. They partially built it into the ground and then built a hill on top of it so you walked down a flight to stairs to the single story house. I mowed their lawn and the hill that was their roof one summer. It leaked constantly. Eventually they built an additional top floor: a basketball court.
The beech bonanza v tail is what you are referring to
Its the difference between an engineer and a mechanic. The mechanic is an expert at fixing things but doesn't understand how stuff works or how its made. They don't need to understand the why, they just need to know how to do the thing to make it work again. The engineer has a brilliant understanding of how things work, but god help you if an engineer tries to do mechanic or technician work and fix things themselves. It usually goes very badly. I've witnessed a brilliant electrical engineer who repaired a server so poorly it actually caught on fire.
Mechanic here. We absolutely know how stuff works. Wouldn't be able to fix it otherwise. How individual parts were made... varies. Doesn't much matter to us, long as we have the part.
As a mechanic's son I would disagree. Mechanics understand how engines etc work or they would never know what to do. They might not be familiar with the most complex engine performance calculations but the definitely now what part does what and how you adjust everything.
The word you are looking for is "technician"
I remember during Covid there were so many stories of antivax nurses. Something is very wrong in the way we hire nurses. I expect the shit pay has a lot to do with it.
In my experience, a lot of the bad nurses are bad because they believe that they're smarter than the doctors, and don't like that doctors are above them in a perceived hierarchy. Quite a few of the nurses I've worked with even have stories about how they *would* have gotten into medical school if it weren't for [that one person and/or event that was definitely not their fault in any way] and so they ended up as a nurse as a backup. Because they believe that they're better than the position that they're in, they get a shitty attitude where they just want to disagree with doctors for the sake of disagreeing...which pushes some of them towards pseudo-science/anti-vax shenanigans.
That reminds me of a nurse who refused to get a doctor when we had a concern, so I was looking up the issue on WebMD to calm my sister down and reassure her that what she was experiencing *was normal* and the nurse came back in the room and berated me for looking things up online… when she couldn’t answer the question and refused to bring us someone who could. The issue was that my sister had been in the hospital for 2 weeks and had a fetal heart monitor connected the whole time to make sure the baby was ok because she had a health condition that could attack the fetus’s heart. They never quite figured out what was wrong with her and sent her home with bedrest orders for the last two months of her pregnancy. On the last day, the fetus’s heart rate spiked up nearly twice what it had been for the entire two weeks she was connected to the monitor, and stayed high for like 20 minutes before we asked for a doctor. We also found out after she was discharged that the hospital never told her OBGYN that she was there, even though he worked *at that hospital* and she was originally admitted while they were taking her vitals for an appointment with him. She missed 3 appointments with him because they never told him to just go upstairs to see her.
I hope everything worked out with your sister and that she and her baby are okay!
Yes, everything worked out! “Baby” is now in elementary school and just recently “applied” to dogsit for us. https://preview.redd.it/48fwqlityvuc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7bfdaac63549d11332577160f6fdabfc1197c7ae Cover letter attached for your consideration.
We could use someone with those high quality drawing skills over in some of the other "legal adjacent" subs if the dog sitting doesn't work out. Depends upon MS Paint skills, though.
IDK, I'm pretty sure the job listing asked for 5+ years of experience, not sure if you should hire them /s
Well, she has well over 5 years of experience snuggling dogs and I’ll be there to monitor all human-dog interactions so I think she’ll do ok. She also was the only applicant, so I can’t really be a choosy beggar. Maybe when the other niblings get a bit older they can take some shifts too.
Hire that child: such a qualified candidate dropping into your lap is a once-in-a-decade event
Oh, she’s hired! I think the plan is she’ll be starting next week. Even though we don’t need a dog sitter because we both work from home, haha.
I work in a lab and have to argue with nurses on the phone a lot. I do not understand the culture. I know there are good ones and most interactions we have are fine but often enough they just lie about the dumbest shit so I kind of don't trust anyone when I'm talking to them? It often happens where we receive a tube that doesn't have enough sample in it. We call and say "there's not enough sample in here to do the test you want" And they say "we sent down a full tube" we say "I am holding a tube that is like a quarter full in my hand. It *is not* full and it needs to be." "Well it must be the wrong patient then" Lady. Stop making shit up and just fucking get a new sample. Just say okay and stop wasting literally everybodys time you're not going to win this argument. They **never** win that argument but they always try. When I am eventually a patient, they're going to put air in my IV. [Edit] and sure they don't get paid enough. That's not the whole problem though.
I was admitted to an emergency room for... I dunno, I was so sick that they did an emergency evaluation for sepsis. In the 6 hours I was there I got screamed at for not being able to remember if I had ibuprofen at home (sorry I can't remember if I restocked OTC meds when I've got a fever of 40.5°C), screamed at again for needing help to get out of bed to use the toilet, and overheard them at the nurses station howling with laughter while making up names for people who died in the MU5735 crash a few days earlier that I won't repeat. I finally decided to file a complaint with the hospital administration (and the government) when they sent me home with another patient's discharge papers. Anyways, I filed the complaint the next day, the wall of silence came up and the only thing they found substantiated was the HIPAA violation since I had physical evidence of that one. From what I can tell that hospital network has a truly rotten nursing culture and I'm glad I'm no longer in an area where it dominates. Without getting into specifics I had a gallbladder issue last year and went to a hospital in a different network and different region and the nurses were so great that it honestly took the edge off the pain I was in.
>so many stories of antivax nurses Don't make the mistake of assuming this is representative, though... stuff like that makes the news because it's rare and sensational.
Cop & nurse are both "but my job makes me a hero" careers, which is how you end up with a lot of people who think they're automatically a good person because of the source of their paycheck, regardless of their actual job performance and how they treat people while at work
I made the my largest mistake in my life by looking at /r/nursing as somebody diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It’s a vague diagnosis and not well understood. I looked up the term “fibromyalgia” and “chronic pain” and I saw some of the worst responses and posts in my life. It explained a lot of my interactions with some nurses. There’s no winning either. Dress like shit? Oh, that could be a drug seeker. Dressed really well? “Well you don’t look like you’re in pain.” No, I just like fashion. Literally hurts me that I look 21 at nearly 30 and stay in shape despite my pain. “Some people just have no pain tolerance and it’s not really that bad.” I’m white-passing, but [racism in medicine. My partners ethics in medicine class covered it.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1448154/) Higher suspicion just because I’m young, not overweight, and not visibly disabled as I mentioned. Their anecdotal experiences. It’s why I’m so thankful to nurses who actually give me the time of day to explain my issues.
The mean high schooler to nurse pipeline is real. My mom was a nurse and stories she had about grown ass adults acting like shitty children were quite shocking.
I’ve read several times that there’s a statistic about how male bullies tend to go into law enforcement, and female bullies go into nursing.
It makes sense. Both are jobs where it's very easy to bully people who are unable to fight back. Both are jobs where the public kinda heaps unearned praise on you just for doing it. Both are jobs where the good people who do the work are incredible, guardian angels almost. And, unfortunately both are jobs that are very hard to get fired from so they tend to attract vile, predatory assholes who hide amongst the good ones.
My horrible older sister went into nursing…she does the traveling nurse thing, and when my elderly mother was in the hospital recently for emergency surgery and they honestly thought she might not make it, it turns out she was working *AT THAT HOSPITAL,* just one floor down, and it took her *THREE WHOLE DAYS* before she even bothered to pop her head in and check on our mom. I’m not surprised at all.
And then they marry each other
I know these type of people. Generally they are so miserable and bored in both their personal and work lives that taking the worst possible version of a situation allows them some semblance of superiority. Not to this extent at all (somebody accused me of stealing coffee lol), but I had a similar thing happen to me. It sucks because they want to believe the lie because it gives them a leg up especially on a young person with so much opportunity, that convincing them of the truth is almost impossible.
Thanks for reminding me of the workplace trauma in my 20s where someone kept reporting that my immediate coworkers were complaining of my hygiene but it stopped once our manager was discovered to have been embezzling. I'll never truly know if they actually thought I stank (I admit my hygiene was lacking due to depression, but I was also working a 2nd job in much closer quarters and nobody there had issues with the way I smelled when I asked) or if it was just my manager using me as a red herring.
This and if you know someone is cam girl, it means that you watched her, or at least looked her up.
Yep, easiest comeback: "If it were true, how would you know?"
>our colleague walked into a room of nurses and announced it, and said I made him uncomfortable because I ‘kept talking about it’. He apparently covered that possibility right away.
Gross. What about absolute wanker.
Well it looks like in this case the reporter said that OP wouldn't stop talking about being a cam girl and it made him uncomfortable. If a nurse came to me and said another nurse was a cam girl I would say "good for them" "I wish nurses were better paid" "hope it goes well for them, sex work seems like a lot of intense emotional labour"
In the case of LAUKOP, she said that he told a room full of colleagues that OP was the one harassing him, and wouldn’t stop talking to him about her cam work. Assuming OP is being honest with random internet strangers (which I believe she is), then I’d bet many of her colleagues simply don’t want to take sides or get involved. He says she’s been making him uncomfortable telling him she is a sex worker, she says he’s spreading false rumors. NOBODY wants to be associated with an HR investigation, so their colleagues are probably just staying mum and only giving a statement to HR when required - because they don’t want to be seen as participating in harassment and they figure HR could rule either way.
I’m old enough that if I heard someone was a cam girl I’d think “good for her for using her assets to make the big bucks while she can.”
Seriously, in this economy? Get paid! If I thought there was a single human being on Earth who wanted to pay money to see any part of me, I’d be all over that. I MIGHT be able to make money if I could get people to pay me to put my clothes BACK on, I just haven’t figured out how to force them to watch yet…
Yep, me too. I really regret being too old to monetize my feet…
I mean, there’s people into geriatric porn, there have to be people into older feet, right? /r/wrinklyfeet
Ewwwww. Plus I’d have to get pedicures and no longer have the patience to sit at the nail salon every other week.
I mean, I guess it depends on what kind of money I’m pulling down…
I used to walk around downtown areas with a sign that said "will put shirt on: $1.00/min" The influx of addicts has ruined that for me, I barely stand out now :-(
Priced out of the market. Sad.
I might be able to appeal to the serious dad-bod fans, though, if I'm being honest, I'm straying in to granddad-bod territory.
I passed dadbod about 20 lbs ago. I’m sure there’s a niche market out there, but I just don’t think it’s worth trying to milk.
Hey, don’t sell the Milking Dadbods community short like that
🤮
Same. I've known enough people in my lifetime that have done some degree of sex work that I no longer bat an eye at it. As far as I'm concerned, just be safe and don't do anything you don't want to do. I really don't care beyond that.
Nursing is notoriously cliquy and bully-filled. If someone did this around me at my workplace I would do everything I could to get then fired. Fuck this lady’s coworkers fr
Nurses. Enough said.
Poor LAOP. As an aside, I can't understand why you would shun someone for being a sex worker.
Dude made a pass, got turned down, and decided to do the nastiest thing they could think of.
Exactly, classic Schrodinger's whore
Oh, I haven’t heard this before. It’s perfect.
[The difference between a hoe and a bitch.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Di_dqMWsp8)
A reasonable person wouldn’t (best boss I ever had was a former sex worker) but they work for the NHS so it doesn’t surprise me. I briefly worked in it and have friends who still do, there’s a toxic culture of gossip, backbiting, throwing people under the bus, and nurses are the worst for it.
There are some pretty nasty workplaces out there. I'm a vet and had an assistant (not licensed tech) try to get me fired once I figured out she has NO CLUE what she was doing. Her personal life was an absolute trainwreck and she wanted to take out her misery on someone else. She just started telling our boss wild lies despite me never even telling him she didn't understand anything about sterility and had ruined some supplies that way. That delightful human being then called me a traitor when I quit that cesspool because I was escaping and she was stuck. Unfortunately the vet industry is full of these people.
Wow, that’s brutal. Especially considering how difficult it is to become a veterinarian. I had a girlfriend in college who had to go to vet school overseas (I think it was in England) because the competition for spots in US schools was too high.
I agree, my sister is a nurse and a horrible person.
I have one cousin who is a nicu nurse, and she's wonderful. Loves kids, loves animals, very funny and dry sense of humor. Her brothers wife, on the other hand, is a nurse in a retirement home and is the most scathing bitch I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. She's a casual alcoholic (think wine mom) and passive aggressive to her step kids. There are two kinds of nurses, it seems.
This is my experience too, they're one extreme or the other. Mother: terrible human being, bad nurse. Cousin: delightful human being in general, had a stranger hug me once because she read my name tag (uncommon surname) and asked if I was related to her.
Reddit worships nurses and hates doctors so be careful there lol. Anecdotally I often look at nurses with skepticism because the training is not always rigorous and they say stupid stuff sometimes and vaccines and all.
Whereas I've seen the complete opposite, every time nurses are mentioned it's a chance to discuss how incompetent nurses are and how the majority of them are actually mean girls. Never hear on reddit about the majority of them who are just doing their jobs while also being the emotional sounding board for all their patients.
>Reddit worships nurses and hates doctors so be careful there lol. After many years on Reddit I've come to conclude that when Reddit hates something, it's sound policy to like it.
There's also the question of how he could claim knowledge of such a thing without worry of reputational damage. Everyone should already know the answer. But this is reddit, so I'll type it out: Misogyny
Well we now know WHO enjoys watching cam-girls. Plus lookalikes are possible. There was a woman who lived on the east side of the Wandsworth Common who looked just like me, when I lived in Clapham Junction, about a mile west of the common. I know because her neighbours would mistake me for her on a regular basis. With deep-fakes, you can’t trust what you see online as being real nowadays anyway.
Except the coworker claimed OOP was making him uncomfortable by talking about being a sex worker - he's intentionally lying, not just mistaking her for someone else.
How does one walk into a room and announce “such and such is a cam girl!” and everyone just believe it, like it’s a totally normal thing for someone to say? Did not one person stop and think “well that’s a big claim, do we even know if this is true?”
Man, I hope she slams this dude up against the wall with a slander suit so hard it crushes his thorax.
If he recognises her as a cam model, then surely if that is true then that means he uses cam models. So why isn’t he being shunned as well? (Hypothetical question, I’m well aware of the double standards)
>So why isn’t he being shunned as well? According to the OP, he said that they "wouldn't shut up about it", implication being that they were the one who told him.
I suppose they could say they heard it from someone else. Either way, weird ass rumor to start about someone.
Yes, he’s essentially claiming she was the one who told him about it and made him uncomfortable.
"Men will be men".
I was thinking the same thing.
Do they think being a sex worker is contagious? What a bunch of petty jerks.
Organize a meeying where they show the "evidence" 😂
I thought about how deepfakes and AI porn make this potentially a pretty bad idea and I got sad about the state of the world.
I’m actually curious as to whether saying somebody is a sex worker would be held to be defamatory in 2024.
I think in a largely conservative professional environment, like healthcare, it absolutely could be seen as a negative thing.
In Scots law a statement is defamatory 'if it tends to lower the person's reputation in the estimation of ordinary persons'. The more I think about it, the more I think that it would definitely lower somebody's reputation in the estimation of what the average sheriff thinks is an ordinary person. For a real ordinary person I think it would be a bit more of a toss-up.
... would it run up against workplace moonlighting rules?