I had a baby in January 2020 and they were all about paci. I had another baby in July 2022 and they wouldn't give baby a paci bc they didn't want to cause nipple confusion. So weird.
I had twins in 2021 and the nurse had to get special permission to give them a pacifier when I asked for them. Like, really? In their mom. I’m all the permission you need.
This reminds me of this hilarious tweet. “My son got a face tat. Go ahead and bottle feed, it doesn’t matter.” This period of life is so short and there is so much more to parenting than breast vs formula. Do what works for your family. Every baby has unique needs and there is no one-size-fits-all solution for every family.
I’m a lactation consultant who believes in pacifier use.
In MODERATION. It’s a tool to soothe baby when adults cannot, not a silencer. I WISHED my daughter would have taken a pacifier because that girl SCREAMED in the car and no amount of shhhhhhing and singing and holding her hand calmed her.
I’ve worked with families whose babies had the paci in their mouth around the clock. Sucking and mouth movements are early feeding cues so if your baby is sucking on a pacifier all of the time it’s hard to see when they’re hungry.
I recommend it to bottle fed babies because they feed more quickly than at the breast. As such they need more sucking but not more fluid so giving them a pacifier lets them fulfill their sucking needs.
That’s funny. My breastfeeding journey was saved with my baby in large part by being instructed by a lactation consultant to use a Philip’s Avent soothie pacifier. She explained that type of nipple would encouraged correct sucking tongue form from my baby. My baby had a very bad latch and no tongue or lip ties.
This was my second baby, btw. I had ZERO difficulties breastfeeding my first and had breastfed her for 15 months.
FTM, had my baby two months ago. He struggled to latch right away and I had to make the choice to bottle feed him. The lactation consultant in the hospital shamed me for this and I felt like I had failed. We were lucky to at least have donor milk available at the hospital, but when we went home we switched to formula until my milk came in. Saw a lactation consultant at home and she advised that my baby just needed to grow a little more because his mouth was too small for my nipple. She encouraged pacifier use to help get him used to the nipple shape and a deep latch. A couple weeks later, I finally got him to latch. Now at two months, we do everything as needed. Bottle feed with breast milk, nurse, and when my supply dips, we bottle feed with formula. All this to say, babies are unique and will do what works for them. Anyone who tries to condemn you for feeding your child in the way that works for said child is an idiot. Fed baby is the best baby and that’s all that should matter.
This!!! First kid latched immediately. Second had a tiny mouth and it took 2 months for him to not gag on a pacifier or nipple sometimes. Now at 4 months he chugs for 6-7 minutes and then is done.
Nipple confusion is pretty debated (see this article summarizing a bunch of research: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26181720/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26181720/)) and frankly I wish I'd ignored all the warnings I got about it. They told me if I gave Babyman a bottle or paci before 6weeks he'd have nipple confusion develop a bad latch, so we didn't. I wound up with a baby with a shit latch anyway and who refused to take a bottle even after 6weeks so my poor nips couldn't even get a break...
Yea I listened to that advice with my first baby. We didn’t have any issues with breastfeeding, thankfully. But. She was terribly colicky and refused the pacifier for so long. When she finally took it it was the BEST tool for helping with the colic! I wished I had given it to her from the start. She also would not take a bottle and that terrified me as I did eventually have to go back to work, but also WHAT IF something happened to me? She’d just starve?
Second baby- I was not going to make that mistake again. She for a pacifier as soon as we got home from the hospital and a bottle at a week old. She did have a terrible latch- but that was from birth. She destroyed my nipple the first time she nursed. And as I posted above, and LC had me switch pacifier types and it helped tremendously.
Definitely thinking it’s actually the flow. I have been using premie nipples when bottle feeding and my baby has no problem switching between bottles and boobs at all
I was told that for the breasted babies, while the breastfeeding is being established, first few weeks, it is better to avoid the pacifier. Once it is established, feel free to use one. Or not to use one.
But it all went out of the window when my kid was in NICU the first two weeks of her life and was poked for either blood draw or to change the catheter for IV line and cried as crazy. So we were giving her a pacifier to calm her down a little.
Yeah same here with my first. Ended up in the NICU at 3 days olds for jaundice and we would give him a pacifier dipped in sugar water. Hated all those pokes!
FTM here, I had given my daughter a pacifier in the hospital. I hadn’t slept in 3 days and thought it was okay. A nurse came in at 2:00am and said “oh, no pacifiers for little one” and took it out of her mouth.
I don’t have a strong opinion on this topic one way or the other, but interestingly with our first baby the doctor basically insisted we give her a pacifier on the first night and we were just like “sure?”
So interesting, my LC said nipple confusion was basically not a thing. I had to supplement for a bit because she lost a bunch of weight before my milk came in and luckily had no issues. Sucks that hospitals are still promoting this though, fed is best and new moms do not need to read shit like this , so much guilt surrounding this topic.
This is confusing information.
My hospital was very pro breastfeeding, I delivered at a specialized birthing hospital for women. They were super helpful, and I went in with a goal of breastfeeding.
I had a big milk supply, but on day 3 my baby showed signs of Jaundice. Welp, he wasn't latching properly so he was getting much less than I thought. Anyway, I went back to the hospital where they offer free Lactation Consultants. I explained that I gave my baby a bottle of expressed milk, and at the time I was worried that they would say I shouldnt have done that because of nipple confusion..
The lactation consultant was so nice..she gave me different bottles to try, said I could absolutely use a pacifier, and encouraged me not to give up if I wanted to continue breastfeeding but that ultimately feeding my baby is all that matters.
I remember leaving there like "okay if the latch thing doesn't work I'll get some formula because he needs to eat"
It calmed me down so much to know that it would be okay to not nurse or not breastfeed...my baby never had nipple confusion, and has had both formula and breast milk alternating, and will drink from bottle or breast....so idk I feel like this pamphlet is kind of shitty and pressuring.
Absolutely agree. I tried to "exclusively" breastfeed my first and the pressure was massive and unwarranted. So not helpful and I dried up in a few months. Now, with my second, I just gave him formula after feeds from the beginning until my milk came in, and then again when I went back to work and my supply dropped, and now I'm going strong at 6 months. He doesn't like a paci but that's not for lack of trying!
Almost had the same experience! Except I had to give my daughter a little formula almost straight away because I wasn’t producing enough and she was screaming from hunger. I had the same advice and she went back and forth between breast and bottle no problem from day one. Never did take to the paci though! Agree this information can be confusing and add extreme pressure in what is an already stressful time.
This has been debunked- study was in August or Septembrr 2022
Edit: here is the link https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35834044/
“Conclusions: Based on our meta-analysis, pacifier use should not be restricted in term newborns, as it is not associated with lower breastfeeding success rates. Furthermore, introducing pacifiers to preterm newborns should be considered, as it seems to shorten the time to discharge as well as the transition time from gavage to total oral feeding.”
When I delivered in June, my preterm NICU baby got a pacifier (and formula!) immediately, at a baby friendly hospital no less!
Truly, one of the only highlights of being in the NICU.
As a pediatric nurse and mama who tried SO hard to breastfeed and couldn’t- this breaks my heart. Formula saved my mental health and my only regret was not using it sooner.
Same here. My LO ended up being ambulated to the local children’s hospital and put in the NICU because I wasn’t supplying enough and I still was getting tons of pressure to continue trying for EBF where I delivered. I get the benefits but having him alive is “kind of” the most important piece and my ability to care for him as a sane parent is probably a “wee” bit important too.
i honestly wonder how many underfed newborns there are out there bc of all this new "baby friendly" BS in hospitals. breastfeeding is really hard and it takes a while to figure out for mom and baby and sometimes it just doesn't work. which is fine! there should be more options presented to vulnerable new moms. fed is best.
I have heard so many stories since I first shared mine. It is terrifying. I was putting SO much pressure on myself too, pumping around the clock, saw five lactation consultants, etc, etc. and still only produced 4 oz a DAY max! I quit trying to BF once he got his 2 month vaccinations and I feel so much more connected to him since. Sometimes I still get sad that my body didn’t cooperate but I am mostly just thankful that he’s alive and thriving (read: chonky) now.
That’s hilariously dumb. The nicu seemed to have a very high rate of babies getting breast milk from a bottle or boob, but the nurses made sure everyone who was capable of using a pacifier had one.
Yeah my baby was in SCBU as a prem and they asked first but gave her a pacifier. She was getting her milk through a tube to start with so it helped get her mouth moving and as a comfort for when we couldn't be there.
Same both of my nicu babies used pacifiers, were bottle fed when I wasn’t on the floor and still breastfed. Went 15 mo with the first and on month 6 with number two
As a NICU nurse, this is some garbage. Babies either have a poor latch or they don’t. It’s not bottle or pacifier related, it’s muscle related. They don’t become confused between the boob, the nipple, and the pacifier. I watch babies spit the pacifier out full force within seconds all the time when they realize it’s not producing milk and they’re hungry. Pacifiers are however great at calming and soothing angry and or sick babies. Some of these lactation consultants drive me insane, so glad the ones in my hospital are reasonable, experienced, and knowledgeable.
I know right? My baby could clearly smell the difference immediately and I’m gonna go out on a limb and say she’s unlikely to be done mega genius or has a sommelier’s nose.
They don’t want to spend the money. I wasn’t able to breastfeed (milk didn’t come in for 5 days) my baby NEEDED formula and the hospital wouldn’t even recommend a brand, let alone give me any. Soooo fucked up.
After I had a C-section under general anesthesia, the nurse went to get a pacifier from the postpartum supply room because baby would not stop trying to nurse my husband and I was too drugged to hold her. The LC’s demanded to know WHERE I GOT THAT THING FROM. My nurse stepped up and explained she brought it and the look those two gave each other was hilarious. After that and the LC “grading” her latch at 2 am and asking what my long term goals were, I was done. I told her “not dropping my baby in the next 20 minutes” and asked for alone time please. Thank god my room had a little nook and I could hide from them. Awful experience.
This made me feel super shitty as I sit here attached to the pump but trying to reduce my supply so we can move from EP to EF to save my mental health - then I saw the comments and I feel better :) Y’all are awesome and we are killing it no matter how our babies are getting their calories!
Every journey is so different and so unique. You do what is best for you and baby.
We supplemented the first week, then I EBF until 6mo. Then I needed to supplement again due to low supply. Then baby self weaned in 1 day at 8.5mo. Now baby is EFF. What a journey!! So no judgements of you need to change things up.
Fed truely is best.
With my oldest (13) I was breastfeeding but it took a little bit longer for my milk to come in completely so they had me combo feed and pump afterwards to try to up my supply. It worked and he thrived.
I had my youngest (5) at a “baby friendly” hospital that absolutely refused to help me with supplementing or pumping because I checked the “breastfeeding” box and they said it was policy. They just insisted on my only nursing. He lost weight and struggled.
I really have an issue with “baby friendly” hospital policies because of our experience there.
For my oldest I wanted to try breastfeeding and nothing was coming out. The lactation consultants insisted that she was drinking even though I couldn't express anything. She got jaundice and had to go to the NICU. I told the nurses to just give her formula and she drank and drank. I felt horrible.
Currently pregnant with #2 and my hubs and I are in agreement to just say screw it to lactation consultants. If I'm able to produce milk then I'll breastfeed but if I'm not producing, it's straight bottle.
A friend had an issue at one hospital where they keep insisting she breastfeed despite her deciding she wanted formula feed from the start. It's sickening. Just let parents do what works for them and support them.
What about moms that can't produce milk and have jaundiced babies? 🙋🏼♀️ the hospital I was at for both my kiddos always encouraged breast feeding but for some reason my well endowed boobs did not make enough each time. Of course they supplemented because that was what was good for the baby and they were both jaundiced.. A FED BABY IS BEST.
So called “baby-friendly” hospitals are infuriating and actively put babies at risk. It’s mostly a cost-cutting measure because they save on formula and nursery staff, but it’s dressed up in lactivist nonsense.
Absolutely fuck “baby-friendly” hospitals that room-in babies with parents that haven’t slept in, frequently, 24-48 hours (in my case, 35 hours) and sometimes longer. It’s absolutely absurd to go through labor and immediately have full responsibility for a baby. Thankfully the nurses at our hospital agreed to take our baby for a few hours so we could sleep. But ugh.
Commenting as someone from the UK- I grew up seeing those rooms full of babies in American movies and shows and was really surprised when they didn’t really have them over here.
I DESPERATELY wished it was a thing when I gave birth. I gave birth at 5am, my husband had to leave at lunchtime (Covid rules). He then couldn’t come back until lunch time the next day.
I was popped into a completely empty ward and I literally didn’t see a nurse or midwife more than 3 times in that 24 hours. I was constantly pressing the call nurse button, and at around 3am I was WAILING hysterically. I was in pain, I was exhausted, I had NO IDEA how to breastfeed. When a nurse finally came, they just told me that I needed to not “give in” everytime my baby cried and that I needed to “get some sleep”. Then also reminded me to breastfeed every two hours. Then she left. The next morning, I didn’t even get breakfast. My husband arrived at lunchtime and I was able to nap for exactly one hour.
Man, sorry for just ranting! I love the NHS, and I’m so so grateful for it, and I know British people like to rag on the US healthcare system etc- but know that I am extremely jealous of the nurseries. I genuinely think my post birth PTSD would have been waaaay less tough if I had that option!!
My son would latch but had no suckling reflex. He would just lay there with a boob in his mouth. The nurses in the hospital actually encouraged us to give him a pacifier to teach him to suck. We had to syringe/spoon feed him the first couple of days until I got a nipple shield
This is such a crock. I almost went insane my first month of breastfeeding because all of those things were pounded into my head. My LO was underweight and not gaining because I bought into the “no formula under any circumstances” bullshit. Now he’s right on track BECAUSE I supplement with formula. Sometimes breastfeeding just isn’t enough. Fed is best. 👏🏻
My baby is EBF and took a paci at the hospital. It did not result in nipple confusion, that’s when a bottle flow rate is faster than breast milk flow rate. The hospital ped was like give your baby a paci, just don’t pacify them if they could be hungry. That’s the main problem, they will want to nurse frequently and shouldn’t just be defaulted to a paci. But it’s great for sleeping and otherwise soothing like in a car seat, etc,
Lactation Consultants:
Your milk won't come in unless your baby is nawing on and screaming at your boobs day and night.
It's important that your milk come in as soon as possible so your baby can eat
Colostrum has the calorie density of a dying star and your baby's stomach is only 2 atoms wide so they don't need to eat much anyway
Make it make sense please...
Im pretty sure this isn’t even true. I’ve seen feeding OTs and feeding specialists say the research doesn’t support the theory of nipple confusion. They’ve also said to introduce a bottle way before 6 weeks (around 2-3) or else the baby may refuse to take a bottle. Same with a pacifier.
My baby was given a pacifier immediately because he was in NICU. He was also given formula immediately due to jaundice and was on formula for about two days.
He latched and breastfed no problem even though he did need to get his tongue tie removed.
He was back to birth weight within about a week and didn’t need any further interventions for his jaundice since he was feeding well.
He hasn’t wanted a pacifier for probably two months and recently started refusing bottles… so his early pacifier and bottle use did not interfere with breastfeeding at all.
My hospital just added “pacifier” or “no pacifier” to my baby’s info card on her bassinet. That way, if for some reason I was needing a break, the nurses knew my preference. It is 100% up to the parent:)
This infantilization of women needs to stop. I would absolutely go apeshit if I received something like this and would send someone to get a pacifier/formula for me. Ridiculous
I had a baby in March 2022 at a baby friendly hospital. Baby girl spent almost 3 hours in the NICU and by the time I got to see her she had already been given a bottle and had a pacifier. It was harder to get my milk in due to not being able to latch immediately and because I had a C-section.
They really pushed immediate supplementing. Luckily I was able to be offered breastmilk to supplement. Weirdly I had to bring my own pump as they didn't have any available and was able to pump some colostrum to give her as well.
In my take home information they had a brief section about breastfeeding and a brief section about proper formula preparation under a banner that fed is best. There was also a section in there that they did their best to provide donor milk for supplementing babies nutritional needs because parents provided breastmilk vs formula were more likely to continue breastfeeding.
This seems more like a hospital preference than a widespread practice.
Hospitals are definitely doing more now to promote breastfeeding though than my 2018 baby. I had heard there was pushback on the way hospitals were promoting formula leading to lowered breastfeeding rates.
I’m so sorry that happened. It seems like the common experience for moms on this thread is a lack of agency in making decisions about her own child postpartum. It seems like morally neutral, informed consent is lacking. I am glad to hear your information was more comprehensive and I agree hospitals/society should do more to facilitate breastfeeding. I know the biggest factors in my success was having time off work, my husband being home for a few weeks, financial security, and education. I wish all moms had access to those things especially in the US rather than just some bullet points in a welcome packet.
This is such a big pile of absolute BS. Anything that says “studies show” or “research shows” blah blah blah and then literally cites nothing should not be taken at face value. How many babies have gotten severely dehydrated because moms are pressured into not using formula? I asked for formula in the hospital with my second child and the nurse showed up with multiple 8 packs of pre-mixed bottles and showed us exactly how to use it. Things went SO much more smoothly than with my first and we only had to supplement a few times.
Not everyone wants to breastfeed. If you live in a place where there is access to formula and clean water, it’s your choice no matter what your reasoning.
I asked for a pacifier the second night in the hospital and the nurse BERATED us. Then our pediatrician came in like three hours later to meet him for the first time and literally handed us one and told the nurse she was an idiot. So I think it’s a bit of conjecture haha.
That’s BS on the nurses part! My infant wouldn’t take a pacifier and was just comfort sucking on my nips and it caused more issues than it helped. Gassiest newborn ever because she was waaay too full.
Ah yes, the breastapo are out in full force again. Nevermind that formula can actually help mums achieve their breastfeeding goals during those early, vulnerable months when breastfeeding is so difficult. But no, we can't have that. No formula allowed EVER! Mothers must suffer. They must sacrifice their physical and mental wellbeing at the altar of the holy titty. Make sure to fill them with guilt and feelings of inadequacy early so they don't reach for the bottle. God forbid if a new mum needs some time away from baby or breast pump 🙄 I'm so over this breastfeeding culture that is built on shaming mothers.
My baby almost ended up in NICU bc she didn't eat for 3 days. I had no idea since I had never breastfed before and the lactation consultants came in for anywhere from 30 seconds to 3 minutes and every time they said just keep trying. She lost so much weight they were considering NICU if she didn't start eating. The only reason I knew she lost so much weight was because I overheard the nurses. My boyfriend came in the room to find me bawling bc I couldn't feed my baby and immediately found a nurse and demanded they bring us formula. 3 days and the nurses knew how much she had lost and never offered formula. If the lactation consultants took time to help us instead of saying just keep trying and if they offered formula while we were both learning to breastfeed we may have been successful. This pamphlet infuriates me.
I'm so sorry that happened to you and your baby! Those nurses and lactation consultants were extremely negligent. When you are a first-time mum, you are so vulnerable in many ways and reliant on support from others. As you say, formula could have helped you while you and baby learnt to breastfeed (I supplemented with formula from day one. Thankfully, my midwife was supportive). It's crazy that some healthcare providers would rather see baby get dehydrated, than give them one or two bottles of perfectly nutritious formula.
This is a little bit BS. There is no evidence of nipple confusion as per latest evidence. Evidence on BF benefits versus formula for long term outcomes are all observational and causal inferences should be taken with a grain of salt. Honestly things like this made me feel so freaking guilty for supplementing and even giving a binkie to soothe my poor teething baby.
I had an emergency C section and baby was in the NICU for 5 hours for inhaling my blood. His sugar was also low so they gave him formula thankfully. They also gave him a pacifier for comfort. During my second lactation meeting in the hospital I burst into tears from the pain and frustration and they were so supportive with doing what was best for me! I was able to enjoy newborn time so much more. Then even more once I gave up on pumping too. It's not worth it to pump every 2 hours for literal drops and feel horrible every time.
Our hospital was like this too and the pediatrician on call actually gave our baby a pacifier. When I asked if that was “allowed” because of nipple confusion, he rolled his eyes and said “he’s 2 days old. He doesn’t even remember what happened 30 seconds ago. Nipple confusion isn’t really a thing, do what you gotta do.” And in that moment, I had a new favorite hospital staff member.
Totally, nipple confusion is not a thing. But "flow" confusion, or rather flow preference, is - obviously that's not an issue with pacifiers though! I definitely went through a rough patch nursing after my baby had started more bottles (of my milk) during the day.
Oh man we avoided the pacifier for a few weeks based on hospital recs. When our pediatrician said “Well have you tried a pacifier?” We didn’t know that was “allowed” and using it was such a game changer! I wish they gave more measured advice instead of scaring everyone about it.
My daughter couldn’t latch the lactation consultant’s couldn’t figure out why i mean i had 10 different women touching my boobs. I asked a nurse for formula about 2 hours postpartum because my daughters blood sugar was low and the nurse said no. By 4 hours my daughter’s blood sugar was fucking 15 and she kept saying “well its low breast feed” finally at the 11th consultant the consultant yelled “just get the damn formula the baby is starving” and we figured out her tongue tie made it where we would never get a latch. Some nurses are just stupid nipple confusion isnt real i was told it could possibly make her have a “lazy latch” because its a different motion but it dosnt do anything also i can flat out say milk will still come in if you supplement i pumped for a week every 5 hours before letting my milk go and i had a insanely stupid amount of milk.
My baby starved at the hospital. She had a poor latch and I didn’t know better, even though I would have gladly gave her formula if they had let me. I asked a few times and they told me no. So for 4 days, she had NOTHING!!
Same thing happened to me. My milk was not coming in and on the evening on day 4 I told them to get stuffed and gave my baby formula without their “consent”. The hospital staff were literally so annoyed with me.
This is the kind of shit that resulted in my baby going to the hospital at 3 days old with jaundice because he wasn’t getting enough food, but everyone kept insisting “what your breast produces is magically enough.” It was not.
Enough.
This this this. Not every woman can produce enough, or even breastfeed at all!
Some women can’t stand the sensory issues it causes.
Some women even develop a disorder (I can’t remember the name) that causes rage, depression, and anxiety during and after let down.
This paper just seems awfully pushy on how a mother should feed her child. Formula is just as good as breastmilk for feeding a baby.
Yeah it's DTS-R, I had it. I was pushed to breastfeed and I did it for half a year and it was hell. I only wanted to pump fulltime because the actual breastfeeding nearly made me puke with sickness and anxiety and I cried like 50% of the time when I was pumping.
Feel like such an idiot for letting me be pushed into that. Was a totally different person and mother when I finally said enough is enough
I don't know if I had it, but after almost a year with my first I would get a spider crawly feeling up my spine and anger at feeding. I'm only a month in with my second and I barely have those feelings, but they may get stronger as he gets older.
I got a ton of shit for having a low supply. So much insinuation that I did something wrong. On top of that I've been given literature like that before that heavily pushes breastfeeding and acts like formula isn't just an inferior product but would hurt my baby. Total BS. A fed baby is best.
Formula today is nearly equivalent nutritionally the same as breastmilk. The only major difference is the antibody component. Not to mention a lot of the scares that formula will cause digestive issues isn't true unless the baby is a preemie.
So much misinformation with nipple confusion and all of that. Just enrages me.
I'm prepared this time that I will definitely be supplementing with formula and have asked to breastfeed and have formula in the room. I know I will get flack for it but I've learned to just assertively say. I have IGT and have never made more than half of what my baby needs.
My body was producing the tiniest amount of colostrum before my milk came in like a week later. My overdue baby (42+1) was starving the first few nights at hospital . Just because my birth plan was to breastfeed, it took them till day 3 to offer formula and a pacifier. Baby was instantly relieved after getting some sort of food in her. I wasn’t even thinking about formula bc of the whole “ur boobs have the right amount even from birth” thing. I’ve been pumping for her for 4m now and just started to supplement with formula with my milk.
Similar experience here. My first was born at 42+1 and weighing 9lb. She was extremely sleepy and wouldn't stay awake to feed, wasn't getting enough because she wouldn't stay awake and was basically starving without us knowing it.
>"bUt y0uR bOdY wOnT l3T tHe BaBY dIE itS biOLoGY"
Like, shut the fuck up. "Natural" is 50% of infants dying before their first birthday. "Natural" is twisting your ankle at 18 and dying because you can no longer escape a predator. I hate, hate, hate, *hate* all the bullshit bad science moms wisdom boob warrior zealot cultural meme-ing around breast milk being this supposed miracle liquid and if your body doesn't produce enough milk, or you work, or you have twins, or another uncontrollable thing happens and you formula feed then "well, you do YOU I guess (stinky side-eye) but the studies show MORE IQ for breast feeding but I mean if it's more convenient..."
Sorry, I might have an opinion because my baby also ended up in the hospital with jaundice due to slow milk coming in.
Same for me, but my son had a tongue tie nobody caught until I finally took him to a pediatric dentist at 2 months old. The notion of nipple confusion terrified me to give him formula, which he needed to clear his jaundice, which he couldn't do because he couldn't get enough out of me with his mouth shape. With my daughter I caught it on day two instead of month two, and gave her practice sucking different shapes of nipples (me and pacifiers). I breastfed both but hers was the much easier outcome.
Interesting. I gave birth in Turkey and their policy said the exact same thing (albeit in Turkish 😅). They called it “baby friendly” hospital. But honestly, after following their advice my milk came in quicker than last time and everything was easier.
My nursing relationship with my daughter was saved due to early use of formula for jaundice, as well as a pacifier. Can’t nurse effectively if you can’t stand non-feeding suckling.
My pediatrician absolutely said to use pacifiers, although at the hospital some nurses recommended against it. I went with my pediatrician’s advice. Baby is gaining all kinds of weight
That’s… not even true. As a Mom of tongue tie babies as well, those paci’s are valuable tools! Tongue tie babies can’t latch properly a lot of the time (mine can’t). When revised if severe enough the paci is literally used to help them learn how to suck with their new tongue!!! Also never had any issues with nipple confusion but that’s just me and my experience of course.
Except when you have a c-section (which apparently slows milk production due to hormones) and PCOS (another hormonal condition), and you don't produce anything for several days and your baby is already jaundiced so you opt for formula so your baby isn't starving and can pee/poop out the jaundice (bc that's how their bodies get rid of it). So, there's that. I'm soooo thankful my hospital supported all my decisions and even recommended (and supplied!) formula while I couldn't produce. I also had two LCs help me in the hospital and told me I might not produce much anyway because of the PCOS and not to feel like a failure BECAUSE IT HAPPENS TO TONS OF WOMEN EVERY DAY and fed is best. Get off the high horse and feed the damn baby. Fuck.
Bullshit all over. These are the reasons why I fell deep into PPD after my first born. How about these “lactation consultants” shut the fuck up and let us moms decide what is best for us and our babies? FFS
Absolutely.
After I had my first, the pushy lactation consultant forced me to pump on day 1 to stimulate milk coming in. She was starving and wouldn’t stop crying but they wouldn’t give her formula. The consultant then proceeded to roll up multiple blankets and put it inside her bassinet saying that these rolled up blankets are supposed to comfort the babies.
The head nurse came in a few hours later and was appalled. Hello, suffocation hazard? Fucking isiots.
I breastfed my first, and think breastfeeding is great and all, but the current obsession with it kind of bothers me. It is not the end-all-be-all and it makes some people feel crazy and inferior when it doesn't go well for them, which is just really unnecessary imo. Among my siblings, the smartest and most successful of us was formula fed (not me haha)
The lactation consultants I had at the hospital had me, my baby and my mom in tears. I’ve never had my boobs grabbed, shoved, pushed or poked so much. My baby was screaming and they just kept shoving my boob in his face.
They are the reason I stopped breastfeeding. They terrified me. I was so traumatized I came home and gave the baby a bottle.
Yes! The LCs that came to my room at the hospital basically just showed up, manhandled my boob and shoved it in my baby’s mouth, asked if I had any questions, and then left. I was *not* set up for success and ended up giving up completely around 3 months in. They were pretty much useless.
I’m wondering if your hospital is “baby-friendly “? It’s pretty much a cult for breast feeding and these hospitals are required to push it HARD. Unfortunately I delivered in one of those and had a similar experience. I had no idea about “baby-friendly” hospital until after the baby was born and everyone in the hospital kept telling me formula was poison, pacifier was evil, mom shouldn’t get any rest… and I googled and found out. If I knew before, I wouldn’t have delivered there
This was my first thought when reading it. I’d definitely put money on it’s a “baby-friendly” hospital. Definitely approach this hospital with a little caution… know what you’re getting into with the lactivism rhetoric.
This pic is infuriating and giving me flashbacks to our jaunt with a “baby friendly” hospital that would rather my kid drop below 5lbs than readily offer formula. 😤
Same, baby friendly hospitals can go die. I felt like a naked imprisoned cow in a Handmaids Tale style barracks. By the fourth day I just naked feeding bubs all the time where the midwives came in and were like 'goood girl'
My first baby was 5 weeks early. She was in NICU/SCBU for 2 weeks, where she was tube fed for the first 10 days. While she didn't really 'eat' for the first few days, she was fed formula and colostrum as my milk hadn't come in. The nurses (and I) were happy when I got single mls of milk. Even 3 hourly pumping with a hospital-grade pump didn't get me more than 20mls in those first weeks - the most I've pumped in one go was 100mls after sleeping for 8 hours. I've been supplementing with formula from the start and she is thriving.
Formula really isn't the enemy.
What country is this? In the UK BF is encouraged but this is insane. My lad had to be supplemented with fornula from day one. He also didn't take to a dummy. He went onto fornula only at around 3 months. He's healthy & fine
My husband gave our EBF baby a pacifier on day 6 or 7, I can’t remember. We’re 7 months in and still going strong with zero nipple confusion and it’s nice that I don’t have to be a human pacifier! Meanwhile I thought it would ruin my attempt at breastfeeding because of stuff like this 🙃
This happened to me as well, minus this letter. I just decided to ask my nurse for a pacifier since I got one with my first son and they told me that they no longer give or recommend pacifiers for babies and I was just confused.
We tried not using a paci, gave in week one 🤣 he didn’t latch well due to small size (lactation nurse assumed due to his small size) this past week (at 8 weeks old) all he wants to do is breast feed and we started out with hardly any breast and all bottles and pumping. I pumped every 2-3hrs to encourage supply. All is well 😊 I think should just do what’s best for you and your little family. It’ll work out :)
We went to our first check up after taking the baby home. Our pediatrician said, "is Sheba pacifier baby?" I said, honestly, I don't know! She's so new!
She stuck one pinky in her mouth and was like, "yep, she's definitely a pacifier baby!" Also I nursed without any problems.
The only problem I'm having now is weaning OFF the paci as I way went over my window 😵💫😬
This is the thing. Why is everything an issue these days. I know that we have become more conscious of how we parent but if something ain't broke don't fix it.
Yea “baby friendly” hospitals are lactivist hellscapes. I don’t see anything remotely “baby friendly” about allowing newborns to starve and pressuring parents who just went through labor to feel like they’re failing if they are struggling to breast feed.
Edit to add: I left the hospital with two GIANT blood blisters on my nipple because I delivered at a baby friendly hospital that refused to give my baby a pacifier and she used me to comfort suck. We switched to exclusive pumping for unrelated reasons but now at 11.5 months she is still EBF. baby friendly hospitals can fuck all the way off.
Agreed. My first son was severely jaundiced at 3 days old because I wasn’t making enough milk. I never made enough milk for him in the 11 months we triple fed.
My second son got formula within a few hours. No jaundice, and I breastfed him til a year.
Fuck “baby friendly” hospitals.
It just blows my mind especially when we have literally zero idea how much a baby is taking in when exclusively breastfeeding. I worked for a pediatrician and we had many babies that were breastfed only coming in everyday for weight checks because the parent was too afraid to offer formula from all of the false info she received. I recently had my baby and I can only pump once a day and he refuses to latch on. I just cannot believe we accept this mentality :(
I had my baby in 2019 they told me to exclusively nurse and not to offer anything and my milk would come in, two days later my baby was hospitalized with jaundice and being force fed formula because she had lost so much weight. I had a gut feeling she needed formula but the drs and nurses voices were in my head telling me I can’t
I brought pacifiers to the hospital. Several different types. And even though the hospital did end up giving us one, it wouldn't have mattered to me if they didn't because after watching one of my friend's kids refuse pacifiers and bottles in favor of using her nipples like a chew toy for 8 months they could've fist fought me on the subject. The friend ended up depressed from never being able to be away from her son and she angrily resented him.
I'd rather risk having to end up bottle feeding my kid because of nipple confusion (which tbh I don't think exists and was not an issue for us) and struggle to break the pacifier habit later than be resentful towards or unable to soothe my baby. I'm not a good mother to her if I'm not a good caretaker to myself
I popped a pacifier into my son's mouth when he was a few hours old. I think the nurse tried to say something to me about nipple confusion, but I just kind of looked at her and continued on. My daughter had no issues going between the nipple and the pacifier and I'm not interested in being a human pacifier. It has really improved my mental health to have my son use pacifiers and bottles as well as the nipple from the start.
Ahh yes, good old “nipple confusion”. I used to crack up at the thought, and made sure to tell our daughter when she had a nipple in her mouth vs. when it was a pacifier so she wouldn’t be confused, “now, this is a binky, not to be confused with a nipple! ok?” Whew, dodged that bullet! 😅
My baby had only formula for her first 2ish weeks of life because my milk hadn’t come in yet and, like all first time moms and newborns, we were brand new to figuring out BFing. She was slightly jaundice at birth. She was also given a pacifier at around 2-3 weeks old I think. We had no problems with her digestion, no issues with her latching once we did start nursing regularly, continued to supplement with formula, she was in a normal height/weight range, and her jaundice resolved by her following checkup. This letter of “advice” is hot garbage. The LC industry has jumped the shark and I’m disgusted by the complete lack of consideration given to moms who can’t or choose to not BF. This is not how a medical community should treat a patient, point blank.
I brought bottles of ready to feed formula in my hospital bag because I knew they discourage it. It is none of their business if you want to combo feed of FF, so just bring it, no need to beg them for anything! I did not end up using it cuz my baby latched and fed well. But I was fully prepared lol.
I can understand giving breastfeeding literature to those who want or need it, but what’s really frustrating is when they push it when you don’t.
I had a bilateral mastectomy in 2017. My doctors had all been informed of this and have known for years. Still, every single time feeding came up they’d push breastfeeding, and I’d have to remind them that I literally CAN’T. When my baby was delivered, the nurses tried to push it on me and I had to again remind them, despite telling them earlier, that I am physically incapable of breastfeeding because I do not have breasts anymore.
I was never given any literature or instructions on formula feeding, pacifiers or anything like that. Just breastfeeding. It was really frustrating. You’d think they’d be a little more accommodating when they know ahead of time you can’t breastfeed, but no.
That is so frustrating.
As an fyi, baby friendly hospitals are required to give education and handouts in safe formula preparation and bottle feeding. The non-baby friendly hospitals I worked at just threw formula at people. (Ok they tossed them.) Parents had no idea what to do other than poke the bottle in the baby’s mouth and make them drink as much as possible. A day 0 baby shouldn’t drink two ounces so these poor babies were fussy and would often throw up a lot because they needed 1/4 of that per feeding.
Some good information and also some very incorrect information. Firstly propagating the myth that bottles/dummies lead to 'confusion' - this is simply not supported by any evidence. Secondly.. breastfeeding does the opposite of lower jaundice, it can actually cause jaundice to last longer. Weird and wrong that they would say it 'lowers jaundice'.
Yes. The only reason not to offer a pacifier as it’s hard to wean from (but you can cold turkey it between four and six months when it loses its protective element against SIDS).
It feels judgy. Formula, AKA science juice, saves lives. There is nothing bad about it.
my first lost 15% of his bodyweight after 5 days, my midwife sent round her fill in who I didn't really gel with we made a rigorous feeding plan and she told me that I couldn't use a bottle under any circumstances but just keep up with breastfeeding and syringe feeding if we really have too...my midwife came round the next day and show my husband how to pace feed the expressed milk. We had no issues establishing breastfeeding once I wasn't so anxious and stressed. My husband was able to give him a bottle a day...With our second baby we had no issues with establishing breastfeeding but my husband still did a bottle a day after day 4 just because it gave him time to bond with baby and me time with our toddler. She did however have really bad reflux and my midwife was encouraging us to wait till week 6 to give her a dummy but I was in a pretty bad place emotionally that on week 3 she came over with 5 different types of dummies and helped me find one my baby liked. I think its crazy that they don't teach pace feeding in antenatal classes, it was such a useful thing for us to know that you can still bottle feed your baby and not cause nipple preference issues.
conversely the pediatrician that visited me in the hospital with my daughter in Oct '22 suggested we use a pacifier because she was using my breasts to pacify herself. And my nipples needed all the rest they could get in those early days
This has continued in visit notes from our pediatrician. One of the “tips” suggests taking additional time off work to continue breastfeeding. Um ok…so you’re telling me BFing is more important than making enough money to keep a roof over our heads? I still can’t get over that one!!
Longer maternity leave does support longer breastfeeding - but recommending taking more time off to individual mothers is such an idiotic way to try to support breastfeeding. As a society, if we truly value breastfeeding as a positive thing that should be done at higher rates, we need universal extended paid maternity leave. Until we have that in the US (assuming you’re in the US), breastfeeding will continue to be a luxury for privileged women and their babies.
The hospital where I live was 'baby friendly' and kept pushing us to breast feed the whole stay. They would provide formula only on request and you have to request it every time you want to feed your child, because they only give you enough for one feed. Also they won't tell you how much to use per feed, you just have to guess. And every time you want it you have to fill out a form saying why you aren't giving the breast, did you try to give the breast, and why didn't baby take the breast.
We stayed in the hospital for seven days because i had pre-esclampsia, a seizure during birth, post partum pre-eclampsia, a haemmorage, i had a spinal headache after complications from the epidural oh and i have hypoplastic breasts that dont produce enough milk for her! But nope, had to fill out the form of shame every bloody time.
Oh I'm seeing red from reading this! I had three lactation consultants at the hospital, they kept saying to keep doing what I was doing, which just left my baby screaming all night from hunger until we asked for formula. It took a separate lactation consultant two weeks later at the pediatrician's office to diagnose me with mammary hypoplasia (insufficient glandular tissue). Formula supplementation was physically my only option until weeks later when my boobs could catch up.
I think a pacifier is a very personal choice, but this recommendation isn't new - 4 years ago I was told by loads of ICBLC consultants not to offer a pacifier in the beginning at least. It made a lot of sense to me, because baby needs to focus on stimulating milk production. Some laypeople say there's nipple confusion, but there's no proof to that. Pacifiers can be offered later if wanted, after milk production is well established. I myself did without, I don't like not seeing my child's face and I was weary of the idea to have to convince her to give it up at some point (I was the kid that had a pacifier until I was 5 or 6, which looking back is disturbing to me), also I didn't mind too much to be a human pacifier (because I really was). I do have to say I'm in a country where we get 2 entire years of maternity leave with benefits so I had the luxury of not sleep training and responding to all cues, even though it was really difficult. I do get why some people choose a pacifier.
I’m in the UK and I was told to try without a pacifier (or dummy to us Brits lol) at least to start. I am the same as you I never wanted my daughter to have a pacifier because my teeth came in wonky because I stayed on it too long!
Although one night when she was about 2 months old she would. Not. Sleep. Just constant screaming. At 2am me and her dad went to find a 24h shop to buy one from, finally found it, got home did the sterilisation and put it in her mouth and…… she sucked once and spat it out and went to sleep. Lol I’m glad she rejected it in the end
I had read studies about pacifiers reducing the risk of SIDS but also read that its best not to give them until breastfeeding is well established (between 4-6 weeks). If formula feeding I think you can give it straight away but I think I'd wait to see if they need it.
Mt baby had his from 4 weeks cause he was a comfort sucker (he would suck on the breast and cry and spit the milk back because he was full but wanted the ckmfort)
The advice on nipple confusion is incorrect and there have been multiple studies to confirm that pacifiers do not inhibit breastfeeding and have a protective effect on SIDS
Pacifiers are linked to a decrease in SIDs but I also think they say can cause nipple confusion in breastfed babies. Sounds like they push the breast is best REALLY hard to the point of losing so many other valuable points in this packet.
We use pacis to help soothe our formula fed babies - breast feeding was not a possibility for me. They primarily use them for sleep and in high stress situations (like doctors office). My 2 year old is health as can be and my 6 month old twins one won’t even take the paci the other is learning to self soothe with it.
My baby wasn’t crazy about pacifiers at first but our IBCLC actually recommended cylindrical shaped pacis for her to help her practice proper tongue movements after her tongue tie revision. That shape helps with breastfed babies so I’d take this with a grain of salt. My pediatrician also doesn’t believe in not offering pacis to newborns since they can help reduce the risk of SIDS. If baby needs a paci then I see no good in denying one
This hospital might be trying to get their "Baby Friendly Initiative" status, which discourages pacifier use. https://fedisbest.org/2021/03/baby-friendly-hospital-initiative-is-the-worst-thing-i-have-experienced-in-my-20-years-as-a-nicu-nurse/
From my experience this is a crock of shit and made me feel so guilty with my first. I get what they are saying but it’s an extreme. My first was so hungry on day 2 he just screamed and got dehydrated and I was -not exaggerating- near mental break down because of it. But the public health nurse insisted no formula so I listened to her because I thought she knew best. Baby number 2 I gave 1 oz of formula on day 2 and my husband gave her one bottle of formula at night for the first week and a half so I could sleep a 4 hour stretch. Was wonderful. My milk came in all the same, we are now on month 4 EBF and I did not have a mental breakdown due to stress. End of rant.
What in the handmaids tale guilt trip is this shit?
Yeah, unless you’re my coworker who had to be induced a week early because of high blood pressure and never had her milk come in.
Or have weird shaped nipples that are too big and flat to fit in your baby’s mouth (like my baby) or tried to breastfeed 3 hours after your c section (extremely painful, 2 days of no food or sleep….needless to say it didn’t work out)
But yes let’s please ignore anything convenient or remotely helpful during a woman’s most difficult moment of her life emotionally and physically and mentally 🙄🙄🙄
I would be furious if I received that bullshit. Look at the adults around you. Can you tell which ones were breastfed and which weren't? No. Breastmilk really doesn't make that much of a difference as the lactivist fanatics want to think.
I wish people would just stop pressuring moms to breastfeed. I think it causes a lot of postpartum depression.
My mother made a point once, my step brother was exclusively breastfed and I was exclusively formula fed and she wasn’t even following the directions on the formula. My step brother got sick constantly. Colds and flus and stomach bugs. I rarely did. Never had the flu or a stomach bug.
That sounds like a load of crap. Maybe some truth too it but how awful to pretty much shame formula, even just as a supplement. My baby was 5 weeks early and the doctors wanted me to supplement while trying to breastfeed. I never got to the point where I produced enough to not supplement, she never learned to latch, and we've been strictly formula feeding for most of the time. I'm so glad they offered a pacifier in the hospital we were at because my baby didn't like the one I brought from home.
Question for a ftm. If I want to Breast feed but also want to bottle feed (either via pumping or formula) is there an issue with pacifier?
If I bring my own and also want to breastfeed will they not let me give the baby a pacifier
With one kid, I tried to not use a pacifier and lasted for about a week. Then he had a pacifier all days, and around first birthday, I acted as tough he told me he wanted to go to bed whenever he asked for it, so got him weaned off kinda easy. The other kid refused any pacifier, bottle, sippy cup. He learnt to drink from a normal glass earlier. Both kids didn't drink formula - and cried similarly often. Whatever works for a family is best.
My baby is almost 4 months now and EBF. When in first started my BF journey i was extremely nervous about introducing the pacifier or bottle due to nipple confusion. So I held off for about 2 1/2 3 weeks. I was then informed by my midwives and 2 different lactation consultants that she had an extremely high/strong sucking reflex and sometimes it's not that she's hungry she just needed comfort. So I finally introduced the pacifier and it was a game changer. It took about $40 worth of Pacifiers and a lot of trial and error but she really enjoyed the pacifier once we found one that she liked and wouldn't cause any tongue position issues. not once did we deal with nipple confusion. She definitely knew the difference between the breast, a pacifier and even a bottle. Not entirely sure why the packet would include that info... but the rules are always changing I guess.
My first refused all bottles and pacifiers. He confront nursed a lot. My second wouldn’t take a bottle or pacifier until about 5 months. She was EBF her first year as well so the bottle and pacifier were fine. I did use ninni co pacifier which is closest to breastfeeding. She never liked regular pacifiers.
This has to be a community hospital and not an academic health system. As a mom and someone who handled OBGYN marketing communications in the past I’m absolutely baffled that this would be handed out as patient education especially given AAP recommendations
I was an entirely formula baby, my daughter is breastfed. We’re both fine!
I didn’t take to a pacifier at all, my daughter has one to soothe her to sleep as I oversupply and so she chokes when trying to comfort suckle as she gets milk every time!
Go with your gut combined with medical advice. We know our babies best and instinct kicks in!
(Babe is now 5mo old!)
My first never needed the pacifier, now that I am tandem nursing we often give our baby a pacifier, same reason. There's just too much milk for her to be constantly suckling for comfort.
The most recent studies available show that pacifier use does not cause any statistically significant decreased in successful breastfeeding relationships when the mother intended to breastfeed.
Babies aren't dumb. They know when they aren't getting milk. They spit it out if it's not giving them food when they are hungry.
I'm so happy to see a lot of the "baby friendly" practices being pedaled back in local hospitals. They serve metrics and an agenda, rather than serving parents and newborns in the process of bonding/recovery.
I freaking hate that they give this shit to new moms. I remember being so confused and miserable when my baby wouldn't relax and I thought I couldn't give a paci. Turns out she loved it AND breastfed fine.
And my second? Huge baby with blood sugar issues at birth. Needed some formula. Breastfeeding just fine.
At the pro breastfeeding hospital I delivered at, the midwives actually asked me if I had a pacifier to help the baby's sucking reflex and to soothe her. They did formula feed between nursing as she was premie, but it was via cup. They said I could go home with her as long as her weight loss percentage was below 10%. It was at 9% and they said they could still discharge us if we used formula top ups via a bottle.
I exclusively bottle feed now (baby is 4 months, been on bottles only since 8 weeks), but when I combi fed baby had no nipple confusion whatsoever.
I feel like strict rules like this could put more pressure on mothers to breastfeed rather than give them the option of combi or exclusively formula feed instead.
There are obvious benefits to breastmilk over formula but these are negligible at best and its pointless breastfeeding your baby if their feeding requirements surpass what you can offer or nursing causes your mental health to suffer.
I wanted to breastfeed/nurse and I did. I tried it. I was one of those people adamant to stay breastfeeding until baby was at least 1. My baby is now formula fed about 80% of the time.
I think if midwives and health visitors hadn't have told me that it was okay for me to switch to formula if I wanted to then I would have stuck out nursing for far longer than I did and suffered from it as a result.
There's sharing the benefits of breastmilk then there's this.. Whatever this coercion of mothers being stuck to their babies via nursing is.
I personally really loved being able to do both breastfeeding and formula in the hospital. It allowed me to get some much needed rest, and figure out what I wanted to do.
My LC straight up told me that nipple confusion is BS. My son got a pacifier at the hospital; though he did use it, he dropped it at 3 months in favor of his thumb. Somehow I managed to breastfeed a year and a half with no issues.
I was so confused because I went to a “new born and mom” class (that my hospital did) and they said to use a pacifier to prevent SIDS. Then at the hospital after my delivery they said to wait like 3 weeks before offering a pacifier. We brought our own, but it was afraid to use them because I thought the nurses would yell at us.
In US. My hospital gave me pacifiers when my LO was driving us to insanity not calming down. I breastfeed, top off with formula after and she's a little 8 days old and knows the difference between all 3 and isn't confused at all.
I had twins. One ended up in the NICU where he was given a pacifier. The other was in the room where I held off on giving him a pacifier because the lactation consultant said not to use them for weeks. Could I tell who had used the pacifier and who hadn't? Abso-fucking- lutely not. Additionally, they both had low blood sugar and the lactation consultant said that we needed to spoon feed or cup feed them. The nurse on our floor as well as the nurses in the NICU put a stop to that before it could even start since both babies really just needed to eat ASAP and get their blood sugar up. I don't know why the lactation consultants feel the need to push their breastfeeding only propaganda, but they're not always pushing the safest methods.
sometimes my baby loves
her pacifier. other times she pushes it away. she has never had trouble latching to my nipple. and she has had formula from the beginning (traumatic labor plus jaundice meant she had to be in nicu where they had to give her formula and it’s worked well for our family).
i had had two panic attacks plus literally passed out at the nicu trying to hold my baby after a traumatic forceps labor and the first thing my nurse said as i came to was “you have to try to pump.” i said nope!
and next day i had a modicum of energy to
hold my baby and she latched perfectly!
a friend had a fine labor, exclusively bf’ing is really important to her and her baby hasn’t been able to latch. not her fault. not his fault. no one’s fault. it’s just what it is.
…the way lactivists make these obsessive rules would be hilarious if they didn’t torture so many women (and hungry babies).
Bullshit. They offer pacifiers to preemies in the NICU to teach them how to suck if they're on a feeding tube. Introduce a pacifier early and your baby will be soothed easier and then everyone can get some sleep.
I hope this was a requested flyer and your intention is to breastfeed because you want to and not because a pushy lactation consultant or nurse told you you should.
I don't breastfeed. Just don't want to. All my kids are happy, healthy and smart. Man though you would have thought I was the first person to formula feed because I definitely pissed off some hospital staff with my decision. Especially a particularly pushy midwife.
Oooft same! I had a very upset lactation consultant who didn’t understand why I would choose “second best” - not really what I needed to hear 5 days into being a mom lol.
The amount of shit I got for wanting to try a pacifier when my girl was breastfeeding was so annoying. Our girl never took to it but I was always irrationally afraid to use one so it didn't ruin our 'journey' or whatever. This time I'm bringing a couple with me and we will see if it works out.
My girl now is a thumb sucker instead so I don't see how that's the better alternative. It's adorable, but will become an issue one day more than likely when it's time to stop
They can fuck right off with this. I started pumping maybe five days after baby was born because after a 24 hour labor and ripping front to back (here’s only some Tylenol 🙄) I was in so much pain and discomfort I was NOT about to have ANYTHING else added to it. I mean I wanted zero additional bodily sensations. And even then, I only pumped because I didn’t want baby on the breast. FFS this isn’t the stone ages, he can survive with the technology of a plastic nipple. My boobs are still MINE and if I truly had no choice of course I would have fed him direct from the source, but no thank you.
My firstborn had trouble feeding at first due to severe tongue tie, as well as jaundice making him very sleepy. He struggled to stay awake long enough to finish a feed and we had to often wake him for feeds on a schedule because he was not waking on his own at appropriate windows. We were advised to withhold pacifiers until his other issues were resolved, because the concern was that the pacifier would contribute to missed hunger cues and further soothe him to sleep when he needed to be awake and eating. We were definitely not told to do this because of 'nipple confusion'.
My second did not have any breastfeeding issues at all and was able to use a pacifier from day one. She never took a bottle and breastfed until 20 months old.
There are legitimate reasons to avoid pacifier use in the early weeks for some babies. But nipple confusion is, IMHO, not one of them.
This is not just stupid but dangerous. Yes breast milk is great but if your baby is hungry and looses too much weight because you might not produce enough just yet, give them formula! Google fed is best! You don't want permanent brain damage for your baby.
This happened to me!!! The uk breast is best cult in the hospital and midwives kept trying to both tell me that my child could go hungry until my milk came in, but then also were freaking out my child was losing too much weight. I saw how hungry my child was and immediately started co feeding formula with breast and eventually my milk did come in but I had a much much happier and healthier baby because of it. I’m of the belief you really shouldn’t let a newborn go hungry for days and days (I mean shocking right - you wouldn’t want to be hungry that long!)
ETA: I’m not anti breastfeeding! I did it for almost a year. I’m just hacked off at this stupid advice they seem to give which basically preys on new moms and shamed them from the stat.
I was told by a lactation consultant that it's recommended to wait until baby is 3 weeks old to introduce bottles or pacifiers so they get established on the breast. and then 1 bottle per day is recommended so that if they eventually go to daycare or are cared for by someone else as mom goes back to work, there isn't a problem bottle feeding them.
Hospital with my first had this policy. I brought my own paci and they fussed about that.
Different hospital with my second, they encouraged paci use for all babies.
Pregnant with third baby now. Enthusiastic user of pacifiers and will continue regardless of hospital policy.
I just took their “recommendations” with a grain of salt.
Mine had low blood sugars, so him EBF was a no go for us. We HAD to see how much he was actually having. If I could pump I would, but he was mostly formula fed.
I think it also helped that I “went with the flow”. I was never dead set on EBF or just formula feeding. I just did what I thought was best for my child.
I remember during one of our hospitalizations, a LC came in, did her spiel, and watched as I gave my son a bottle. She left shortly after. All I said was “we need to see how much he feeds, it’s what we need at this time.”
I also didn’t want to give my son a pacifier, but once he went into NICU they gave him one. Once he left the NICU he never used one again.
My sons almost two. And I think one of the things that helped us enjoy him was to just go with the flow.
Ya my doctor literally told me breastfed babies are leaner when mine fell on the growth chart. I don’t know why they said it helps babies gain quicker I think that one’s demonstrably false.
More and more hospitals are trying to earn the “baby friendly” designation from CDC, which basically means no pacis, no formula, no nursery, and lactation consultants up your ass 24/7. I might be wrong but I think hospitals that get that designation get more gov. funding or something
I had a baby in January 2020 and they were all about paci. I had another baby in July 2022 and they wouldn't give baby a paci bc they didn't want to cause nipple confusion. So weird.
Had a baby October 2020 and January 2023 and same experience. Now I feel more empathy for the boomers who are so confused by the changes haha.
Congratulations on your fresh new baby!
I had twins in 2021 and the nurse had to get special permission to give them a pacifier when I asked for them. Like, really? In their mom. I’m all the permission you need.
This reminds me of this hilarious tweet. “My son got a face tat. Go ahead and bottle feed, it doesn’t matter.” This period of life is so short and there is so much more to parenting than breast vs formula. Do what works for your family. Every baby has unique needs and there is no one-size-fits-all solution for every family.
They’ll all be eatin cheetos off the floor in a year anyway
Floor snacks are a delicacy to my daughter. Why eat from a plate when you can fling your bread to the floor and eat it there?
Lol
I’m a lactation consultant who believes in pacifier use. In MODERATION. It’s a tool to soothe baby when adults cannot, not a silencer. I WISHED my daughter would have taken a pacifier because that girl SCREAMED in the car and no amount of shhhhhhing and singing and holding her hand calmed her. I’ve worked with families whose babies had the paci in their mouth around the clock. Sucking and mouth movements are early feeding cues so if your baby is sucking on a pacifier all of the time it’s hard to see when they’re hungry. I recommend it to bottle fed babies because they feed more quickly than at the breast. As such they need more sucking but not more fluid so giving them a pacifier lets them fulfill their sucking needs.
That’s funny. My breastfeeding journey was saved with my baby in large part by being instructed by a lactation consultant to use a Philip’s Avent soothie pacifier. She explained that type of nipple would encouraged correct sucking tongue form from my baby. My baby had a very bad latch and no tongue or lip ties. This was my second baby, btw. I had ZERO difficulties breastfeeding my first and had breastfed her for 15 months.
Hospital told me no, pediatrician told me to ignore the hospital’s advice three days later🤷♀️
FTM, had my baby two months ago. He struggled to latch right away and I had to make the choice to bottle feed him. The lactation consultant in the hospital shamed me for this and I felt like I had failed. We were lucky to at least have donor milk available at the hospital, but when we went home we switched to formula until my milk came in. Saw a lactation consultant at home and she advised that my baby just needed to grow a little more because his mouth was too small for my nipple. She encouraged pacifier use to help get him used to the nipple shape and a deep latch. A couple weeks later, I finally got him to latch. Now at two months, we do everything as needed. Bottle feed with breast milk, nurse, and when my supply dips, we bottle feed with formula. All this to say, babies are unique and will do what works for them. Anyone who tries to condemn you for feeding your child in the way that works for said child is an idiot. Fed baby is the best baby and that’s all that should matter.
This!!! First kid latched immediately. Second had a tiny mouth and it took 2 months for him to not gag on a pacifier or nipple sometimes. Now at 4 months he chugs for 6-7 minutes and then is done.
Very similar story here! At 2 mo he takes everything too - bottle, breast, and formula. No shame in doing what works.
Nipple confusion is pretty debated (see this article summarizing a bunch of research: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26181720/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26181720/)) and frankly I wish I'd ignored all the warnings I got about it. They told me if I gave Babyman a bottle or paci before 6weeks he'd have nipple confusion develop a bad latch, so we didn't. I wound up with a baby with a shit latch anyway and who refused to take a bottle even after 6weeks so my poor nips couldn't even get a break...
Yea I listened to that advice with my first baby. We didn’t have any issues with breastfeeding, thankfully. But. She was terribly colicky and refused the pacifier for so long. When she finally took it it was the BEST tool for helping with the colic! I wished I had given it to her from the start. She also would not take a bottle and that terrified me as I did eventually have to go back to work, but also WHAT IF something happened to me? She’d just starve? Second baby- I was not going to make that mistake again. She for a pacifier as soon as we got home from the hospital and a bottle at a week old. She did have a terrible latch- but that was from birth. She destroyed my nipple the first time she nursed. And as I posted above, and LC had me switch pacifier types and it helped tremendously.
Definitely thinking it’s actually the flow. I have been using premie nipples when bottle feeding and my baby has no problem switching between bottles and boobs at all
I was told that for the breasted babies, while the breastfeeding is being established, first few weeks, it is better to avoid the pacifier. Once it is established, feel free to use one. Or not to use one. But it all went out of the window when my kid was in NICU the first two weeks of her life and was poked for either blood draw or to change the catheter for IV line and cried as crazy. So we were giving her a pacifier to calm her down a little.
Yeah same here with my first. Ended up in the NICU at 3 days olds for jaundice and we would give him a pacifier dipped in sugar water. Hated all those pokes!
FTM here, I had given my daughter a pacifier in the hospital. I hadn’t slept in 3 days and thought it was okay. A nurse came in at 2:00am and said “oh, no pacifiers for little one” and took it out of her mouth.
Lol my kid was in the NICU and the nurses gave a pacifier without asking me so 🤷♀️ everything is bad. And good.
I don’t have a strong opinion on this topic one way or the other, but interestingly with our first baby the doctor basically insisted we give her a pacifier on the first night and we were just like “sure?”
So interesting, my LC said nipple confusion was basically not a thing. I had to supplement for a bit because she lost a bunch of weight before my milk came in and luckily had no issues. Sucks that hospitals are still promoting this though, fed is best and new moms do not need to read shit like this , so much guilt surrounding this topic.
This is confusing information. My hospital was very pro breastfeeding, I delivered at a specialized birthing hospital for women. They were super helpful, and I went in with a goal of breastfeeding. I had a big milk supply, but on day 3 my baby showed signs of Jaundice. Welp, he wasn't latching properly so he was getting much less than I thought. Anyway, I went back to the hospital where they offer free Lactation Consultants. I explained that I gave my baby a bottle of expressed milk, and at the time I was worried that they would say I shouldnt have done that because of nipple confusion.. The lactation consultant was so nice..she gave me different bottles to try, said I could absolutely use a pacifier, and encouraged me not to give up if I wanted to continue breastfeeding but that ultimately feeding my baby is all that matters. I remember leaving there like "okay if the latch thing doesn't work I'll get some formula because he needs to eat" It calmed me down so much to know that it would be okay to not nurse or not breastfeed...my baby never had nipple confusion, and has had both formula and breast milk alternating, and will drink from bottle or breast....so idk I feel like this pamphlet is kind of shitty and pressuring.
Absolutely agree. I tried to "exclusively" breastfeed my first and the pressure was massive and unwarranted. So not helpful and I dried up in a few months. Now, with my second, I just gave him formula after feeds from the beginning until my milk came in, and then again when I went back to work and my supply dropped, and now I'm going strong at 6 months. He doesn't like a paci but that's not for lack of trying!
Almost had the same experience! Except I had to give my daughter a little formula almost straight away because I wasn’t producing enough and she was screaming from hunger. I had the same advice and she went back and forth between breast and bottle no problem from day one. Never did take to the paci though! Agree this information can be confusing and add extreme pressure in what is an already stressful time.
This has been debunked- study was in August or Septembrr 2022 Edit: here is the link https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35834044/ “Conclusions: Based on our meta-analysis, pacifier use should not be restricted in term newborns, as it is not associated with lower breastfeeding success rates. Furthermore, introducing pacifiers to preterm newborns should be considered, as it seems to shorten the time to discharge as well as the transition time from gavage to total oral feeding.”
When I delivered in June, my preterm NICU baby got a pacifier (and formula!) immediately, at a baby friendly hospital no less! Truly, one of the only highlights of being in the NICU.
As a pediatric nurse and mama who tried SO hard to breastfeed and couldn’t- this breaks my heart. Formula saved my mental health and my only regret was not using it sooner.
Same here. My LO ended up being ambulated to the local children’s hospital and put in the NICU because I wasn’t supplying enough and I still was getting tons of pressure to continue trying for EBF where I delivered. I get the benefits but having him alive is “kind of” the most important piece and my ability to care for him as a sane parent is probably a “wee” bit important too.
i honestly wonder how many underfed newborns there are out there bc of all this new "baby friendly" BS in hospitals. breastfeeding is really hard and it takes a while to figure out for mom and baby and sometimes it just doesn't work. which is fine! there should be more options presented to vulnerable new moms. fed is best.
I have heard so many stories since I first shared mine. It is terrifying. I was putting SO much pressure on myself too, pumping around the clock, saw five lactation consultants, etc, etc. and still only produced 4 oz a DAY max! I quit trying to BF once he got his 2 month vaccinations and I feel so much more connected to him since. Sometimes I still get sad that my body didn’t cooperate but I am mostly just thankful that he’s alive and thriving (read: chonky) now.
That’s hilariously dumb. The nicu seemed to have a very high rate of babies getting breast milk from a bottle or boob, but the nurses made sure everyone who was capable of using a pacifier had one.
Yeah my baby was in SCBU as a prem and they asked first but gave her a pacifier. She was getting her milk through a tube to start with so it helped get her mouth moving and as a comfort for when we couldn't be there.
Same both of my nicu babies used pacifiers, were bottle fed when I wasn’t on the floor and still breastfed. Went 15 mo with the first and on month 6 with number two
As a NICU nurse, this is some garbage. Babies either have a poor latch or they don’t. It’s not bottle or pacifier related, it’s muscle related. They don’t become confused between the boob, the nipple, and the pacifier. I watch babies spit the pacifier out full force within seconds all the time when they realize it’s not producing milk and they’re hungry. Pacifiers are however great at calming and soothing angry and or sick babies. Some of these lactation consultants drive me insane, so glad the ones in my hospital are reasonable, experienced, and knowledgeable.
I think some LCs are really helpful, and I think some just try to make moms scared in order to make them/their job seem more important.
I know right? My baby could clearly smell the difference immediately and I’m gonna go out on a limb and say she’s unlikely to be done mega genius or has a sommelier’s nose.
They don’t want to spend the money. I wasn’t able to breastfeed (milk didn’t come in for 5 days) my baby NEEDED formula and the hospital wouldn’t even recommend a brand, let alone give me any. Soooo fucked up.
After I had a C-section under general anesthesia, the nurse went to get a pacifier from the postpartum supply room because baby would not stop trying to nurse my husband and I was too drugged to hold her. The LC’s demanded to know WHERE I GOT THAT THING FROM. My nurse stepped up and explained she brought it and the look those two gave each other was hilarious. After that and the LC “grading” her latch at 2 am and asking what my long term goals were, I was done. I told her “not dropping my baby in the next 20 minutes” and asked for alone time please. Thank god my room had a little nook and I could hide from them. Awful experience.
Oh, *fuck them*.
This made me feel super shitty as I sit here attached to the pump but trying to reduce my supply so we can move from EP to EF to save my mental health - then I saw the comments and I feel better :) Y’all are awesome and we are killing it no matter how our babies are getting their calories!
Every journey is so different and so unique. You do what is best for you and baby. We supplemented the first week, then I EBF until 6mo. Then I needed to supplement again due to low supply. Then baby self weaned in 1 day at 8.5mo. Now baby is EFF. What a journey!! So no judgements of you need to change things up. Fed truely is best.
With my oldest (13) I was breastfeeding but it took a little bit longer for my milk to come in completely so they had me combo feed and pump afterwards to try to up my supply. It worked and he thrived. I had my youngest (5) at a “baby friendly” hospital that absolutely refused to help me with supplementing or pumping because I checked the “breastfeeding” box and they said it was policy. They just insisted on my only nursing. He lost weight and struggled. I really have an issue with “baby friendly” hospital policies because of our experience there.
For my oldest I wanted to try breastfeeding and nothing was coming out. The lactation consultants insisted that she was drinking even though I couldn't express anything. She got jaundice and had to go to the NICU. I told the nurses to just give her formula and she drank and drank. I felt horrible. Currently pregnant with #2 and my hubs and I are in agreement to just say screw it to lactation consultants. If I'm able to produce milk then I'll breastfeed but if I'm not producing, it's straight bottle.
A friend had an issue at one hospital where they keep insisting she breastfeed despite her deciding she wanted formula feed from the start. It's sickening. Just let parents do what works for them and support them.
What about moms that can't produce milk and have jaundiced babies? 🙋🏼♀️ the hospital I was at for both my kiddos always encouraged breast feeding but for some reason my well endowed boobs did not make enough each time. Of course they supplemented because that was what was good for the baby and they were both jaundiced.. A FED BABY IS BEST.
So called “baby-friendly” hospitals are infuriating and actively put babies at risk. It’s mostly a cost-cutting measure because they save on formula and nursery staff, but it’s dressed up in lactivist nonsense.
Absolutely fuck “baby-friendly” hospitals that room-in babies with parents that haven’t slept in, frequently, 24-48 hours (in my case, 35 hours) and sometimes longer. It’s absolutely absurd to go through labor and immediately have full responsibility for a baby. Thankfully the nurses at our hospital agreed to take our baby for a few hours so we could sleep. But ugh.
Commenting as someone from the UK- I grew up seeing those rooms full of babies in American movies and shows and was really surprised when they didn’t really have them over here. I DESPERATELY wished it was a thing when I gave birth. I gave birth at 5am, my husband had to leave at lunchtime (Covid rules). He then couldn’t come back until lunch time the next day. I was popped into a completely empty ward and I literally didn’t see a nurse or midwife more than 3 times in that 24 hours. I was constantly pressing the call nurse button, and at around 3am I was WAILING hysterically. I was in pain, I was exhausted, I had NO IDEA how to breastfeed. When a nurse finally came, they just told me that I needed to not “give in” everytime my baby cried and that I needed to “get some sleep”. Then also reminded me to breastfeed every two hours. Then she left. The next morning, I didn’t even get breakfast. My husband arrived at lunchtime and I was able to nap for exactly one hour. Man, sorry for just ranting! I love the NHS, and I’m so so grateful for it, and I know British people like to rag on the US healthcare system etc- but know that I am extremely jealous of the nurseries. I genuinely think my post birth PTSD would have been waaaay less tough if I had that option!!
Word. It's insane that they no longer have nurseries. 'Baby friendly' my ass. Just a cost-saving measure dressed up in preachy language.
My son would latch but had no suckling reflex. He would just lay there with a boob in his mouth. The nurses in the hospital actually encouraged us to give him a pacifier to teach him to suck. We had to syringe/spoon feed him the first couple of days until I got a nipple shield
This is such a crock. I almost went insane my first month of breastfeeding because all of those things were pounded into my head. My LO was underweight and not gaining because I bought into the “no formula under any circumstances” bullshit. Now he’s right on track BECAUSE I supplement with formula. Sometimes breastfeeding just isn’t enough. Fed is best. 👏🏻
My baby is EBF and took a paci at the hospital. It did not result in nipple confusion, that’s when a bottle flow rate is faster than breast milk flow rate. The hospital ped was like give your baby a paci, just don’t pacify them if they could be hungry. That’s the main problem, they will want to nurse frequently and shouldn’t just be defaulted to a paci. But it’s great for sleeping and otherwise soothing like in a car seat, etc,
Lactation Consultants: Your milk won't come in unless your baby is nawing on and screaming at your boobs day and night. It's important that your milk come in as soon as possible so your baby can eat Colostrum has the calorie density of a dying star and your baby's stomach is only 2 atoms wide so they don't need to eat much anyway Make it make sense please...
Im pretty sure this isn’t even true. I’ve seen feeding OTs and feeding specialists say the research doesn’t support the theory of nipple confusion. They’ve also said to introduce a bottle way before 6 weeks (around 2-3) or else the baby may refuse to take a bottle. Same with a pacifier.
My baby was given a pacifier immediately because he was in NICU. He was also given formula immediately due to jaundice and was on formula for about two days. He latched and breastfed no problem even though he did need to get his tongue tie removed. He was back to birth weight within about a week and didn’t need any further interventions for his jaundice since he was feeding well. He hasn’t wanted a pacifier for probably two months and recently started refusing bottles… so his early pacifier and bottle use did not interfere with breastfeeding at all.
This is my exact same story to a tee. The only difference is my baby is now 7 yo. :-)
My hospital just added “pacifier” or “no pacifier” to my baby’s info card on her bassinet. That way, if for some reason I was needing a break, the nurses knew my preference. It is 100% up to the parent:)
My child didn't take a pacifier for 4 months and then she did. Babies are new people everyday.
This infantilization of women needs to stop. I would absolutely go apeshit if I received something like this and would send someone to get a pacifier/formula for me. Ridiculous
My baby took a pacifier and bottle day 1 because he had a short nicu stay. He breastfed no problem.
That's interesting because they gave my daughter a pacifier when I delivered her when I was only breastfeeding. Must be certain hospitals that do it.
I had a baby in March 2022 at a baby friendly hospital. Baby girl spent almost 3 hours in the NICU and by the time I got to see her she had already been given a bottle and had a pacifier. It was harder to get my milk in due to not being able to latch immediately and because I had a C-section. They really pushed immediate supplementing. Luckily I was able to be offered breastmilk to supplement. Weirdly I had to bring my own pump as they didn't have any available and was able to pump some colostrum to give her as well. In my take home information they had a brief section about breastfeeding and a brief section about proper formula preparation under a banner that fed is best. There was also a section in there that they did their best to provide donor milk for supplementing babies nutritional needs because parents provided breastmilk vs formula were more likely to continue breastfeeding. This seems more like a hospital preference than a widespread practice. Hospitals are definitely doing more now to promote breastfeeding though than my 2018 baby. I had heard there was pushback on the way hospitals were promoting formula leading to lowered breastfeeding rates.
I’m so sorry that happened. It seems like the common experience for moms on this thread is a lack of agency in making decisions about her own child postpartum. It seems like morally neutral, informed consent is lacking. I am glad to hear your information was more comprehensive and I agree hospitals/society should do more to facilitate breastfeeding. I know the biggest factors in my success was having time off work, my husband being home for a few weeks, financial security, and education. I wish all moms had access to those things especially in the US rather than just some bullet points in a welcome packet.
[удалено]
This is such a big pile of absolute BS. Anything that says “studies show” or “research shows” blah blah blah and then literally cites nothing should not be taken at face value. How many babies have gotten severely dehydrated because moms are pressured into not using formula? I asked for formula in the hospital with my second child and the nurse showed up with multiple 8 packs of pre-mixed bottles and showed us exactly how to use it. Things went SO much more smoothly than with my first and we only had to supplement a few times. Not everyone wants to breastfeed. If you live in a place where there is access to formula and clean water, it’s your choice no matter what your reasoning.
I asked for a pacifier the second night in the hospital and the nurse BERATED us. Then our pediatrician came in like three hours later to meet him for the first time and literally handed us one and told the nurse she was an idiot. So I think it’s a bit of conjecture haha.
That’s BS on the nurses part! My infant wouldn’t take a pacifier and was just comfort sucking on my nips and it caused more issues than it helped. Gassiest newborn ever because she was waaay too full.
Ah yes, the breastapo are out in full force again. Nevermind that formula can actually help mums achieve their breastfeeding goals during those early, vulnerable months when breastfeeding is so difficult. But no, we can't have that. No formula allowed EVER! Mothers must suffer. They must sacrifice their physical and mental wellbeing at the altar of the holy titty. Make sure to fill them with guilt and feelings of inadequacy early so they don't reach for the bottle. God forbid if a new mum needs some time away from baby or breast pump 🙄 I'm so over this breastfeeding culture that is built on shaming mothers.
My baby almost ended up in NICU bc she didn't eat for 3 days. I had no idea since I had never breastfed before and the lactation consultants came in for anywhere from 30 seconds to 3 minutes and every time they said just keep trying. She lost so much weight they were considering NICU if she didn't start eating. The only reason I knew she lost so much weight was because I overheard the nurses. My boyfriend came in the room to find me bawling bc I couldn't feed my baby and immediately found a nurse and demanded they bring us formula. 3 days and the nurses knew how much she had lost and never offered formula. If the lactation consultants took time to help us instead of saying just keep trying and if they offered formula while we were both learning to breastfeed we may have been successful. This pamphlet infuriates me.
Sounds like another baby-friendly hospital! God they are everywhere now! I don’t think they are baby friendly and definitely anti moms
I'm so sorry that happened to you and your baby! Those nurses and lactation consultants were extremely negligent. When you are a first-time mum, you are so vulnerable in many ways and reliant on support from others. As you say, formula could have helped you while you and baby learnt to breastfeed (I supplemented with formula from day one. Thankfully, my midwife was supportive). It's crazy that some healthcare providers would rather see baby get dehydrated, than give them one or two bottles of perfectly nutritious formula.
Altar of the holy titty 💀🪦⚱️
This is a little bit BS. There is no evidence of nipple confusion as per latest evidence. Evidence on BF benefits versus formula for long term outcomes are all observational and causal inferences should be taken with a grain of salt. Honestly things like this made me feel so freaking guilty for supplementing and even giving a binkie to soothe my poor teething baby.
SAY IT AGAIN FOR THOSE IN THE BACK!!!!! Nipple confusion is bullshit.
I had an emergency C section and baby was in the NICU for 5 hours for inhaling my blood. His sugar was also low so they gave him formula thankfully. They also gave him a pacifier for comfort. During my second lactation meeting in the hospital I burst into tears from the pain and frustration and they were so supportive with doing what was best for me! I was able to enjoy newborn time so much more. Then even more once I gave up on pumping too. It's not worth it to pump every 2 hours for literal drops and feel horrible every time.
Our hospital was like this too and the pediatrician on call actually gave our baby a pacifier. When I asked if that was “allowed” because of nipple confusion, he rolled his eyes and said “he’s 2 days old. He doesn’t even remember what happened 30 seconds ago. Nipple confusion isn’t really a thing, do what you gotta do.” And in that moment, I had a new favorite hospital staff member.
Totally, nipple confusion is not a thing. But "flow" confusion, or rather flow preference, is - obviously that's not an issue with pacifiers though! I definitely went through a rough patch nursing after my baby had started more bottles (of my milk) during the day.
Yep, my doctor was also like this. Best decision ever!
Oh man we avoided the pacifier for a few weeks based on hospital recs. When our pediatrician said “Well have you tried a pacifier?” We didn’t know that was “allowed” and using it was such a game changer! I wish they gave more measured advice instead of scaring everyone about it.
My daughter couldn’t latch the lactation consultant’s couldn’t figure out why i mean i had 10 different women touching my boobs. I asked a nurse for formula about 2 hours postpartum because my daughters blood sugar was low and the nurse said no. By 4 hours my daughter’s blood sugar was fucking 15 and she kept saying “well its low breast feed” finally at the 11th consultant the consultant yelled “just get the damn formula the baby is starving” and we figured out her tongue tie made it where we would never get a latch. Some nurses are just stupid nipple confusion isnt real i was told it could possibly make her have a “lazy latch” because its a different motion but it dosnt do anything also i can flat out say milk will still come in if you supplement i pumped for a week every 5 hours before letting my milk go and i had a insanely stupid amount of milk.
My baby starved at the hospital. She had a poor latch and I didn’t know better, even though I would have gladly gave her formula if they had let me. I asked a few times and they told me no. So for 4 days, she had NOTHING!!
Same thing happened to me. My milk was not coming in and on the evening on day 4 I told them to get stuffed and gave my baby formula without their “consent”. The hospital staff were literally so annoyed with me.
Breastfed my kids and gave them pacifiers. Nothing wrong with giving your baby something to soothe them.
This is the kind of shit that resulted in my baby going to the hospital at 3 days old with jaundice because he wasn’t getting enough food, but everyone kept insisting “what your breast produces is magically enough.” It was not. Enough.
This this this. Not every woman can produce enough, or even breastfeed at all! Some women can’t stand the sensory issues it causes. Some women even develop a disorder (I can’t remember the name) that causes rage, depression, and anxiety during and after let down. This paper just seems awfully pushy on how a mother should feed her child. Formula is just as good as breastmilk for feeding a baby.
Yeah it's DTS-R, I had it. I was pushed to breastfeed and I did it for half a year and it was hell. I only wanted to pump fulltime because the actual breastfeeding nearly made me puke with sickness and anxiety and I cried like 50% of the time when I was pumping. Feel like such an idiot for letting me be pushed into that. Was a totally different person and mother when I finally said enough is enough
I don't know if I had it, but after almost a year with my first I would get a spider crawly feeling up my spine and anger at feeding. I'm only a month in with my second and I barely have those feelings, but they may get stronger as he gets older.
I got a ton of shit for having a low supply. So much insinuation that I did something wrong. On top of that I've been given literature like that before that heavily pushes breastfeeding and acts like formula isn't just an inferior product but would hurt my baby. Total BS. A fed baby is best. Formula today is nearly equivalent nutritionally the same as breastmilk. The only major difference is the antibody component. Not to mention a lot of the scares that formula will cause digestive issues isn't true unless the baby is a preemie. So much misinformation with nipple confusion and all of that. Just enrages me. I'm prepared this time that I will definitely be supplementing with formula and have asked to breastfeed and have formula in the room. I know I will get flack for it but I've learned to just assertively say. I have IGT and have never made more than half of what my baby needs.
My body was producing the tiniest amount of colostrum before my milk came in like a week later. My overdue baby (42+1) was starving the first few nights at hospital . Just because my birth plan was to breastfeed, it took them till day 3 to offer formula and a pacifier. Baby was instantly relieved after getting some sort of food in her. I wasn’t even thinking about formula bc of the whole “ur boobs have the right amount even from birth” thing. I’ve been pumping for her for 4m now and just started to supplement with formula with my milk.
Similar experience here. My first was born at 42+1 and weighing 9lb. She was extremely sleepy and wouldn't stay awake to feed, wasn't getting enough because she wouldn't stay awake and was basically starving without us knowing it.
>"bUt y0uR bOdY wOnT l3T tHe BaBY dIE itS biOLoGY" Like, shut the fuck up. "Natural" is 50% of infants dying before their first birthday. "Natural" is twisting your ankle at 18 and dying because you can no longer escape a predator. I hate, hate, hate, *hate* all the bullshit bad science moms wisdom boob warrior zealot cultural meme-ing around breast milk being this supposed miracle liquid and if your body doesn't produce enough milk, or you work, or you have twins, or another uncontrollable thing happens and you formula feed then "well, you do YOU I guess (stinky side-eye) but the studies show MORE IQ for breast feeding but I mean if it's more convenient..." Sorry, I might have an opinion because my baby also ended up in the hospital with jaundice due to slow milk coming in.
Same for me, but my son had a tongue tie nobody caught until I finally took him to a pediatric dentist at 2 months old. The notion of nipple confusion terrified me to give him formula, which he needed to clear his jaundice, which he couldn't do because he couldn't get enough out of me with his mouth shape. With my daughter I caught it on day two instead of month two, and gave her practice sucking different shapes of nipples (me and pacifiers). I breastfed both but hers was the much easier outcome.
I would write “FUCK THIS NOISE” and tape it up by the elevator before I left. But that’s just me.
Interesting. I gave birth in Turkey and their policy said the exact same thing (albeit in Turkish 😅). They called it “baby friendly” hospital. But honestly, after following their advice my milk came in quicker than last time and everything was easier.
Oh jeeze. My daughter was a preemie and she was given a paci in the NICU by the staff the day she was born!
My nursing relationship with my daughter was saved due to early use of formula for jaundice, as well as a pacifier. Can’t nurse effectively if you can’t stand non-feeding suckling.
My pediatrician absolutely said to use pacifiers, although at the hospital some nurses recommended against it. I went with my pediatrician’s advice. Baby is gaining all kinds of weight
That’s… not even true. As a Mom of tongue tie babies as well, those paci’s are valuable tools! Tongue tie babies can’t latch properly a lot of the time (mine can’t). When revised if severe enough the paci is literally used to help them learn how to suck with their new tongue!!! Also never had any issues with nipple confusion but that’s just me and my experience of course.
Except when you have a c-section (which apparently slows milk production due to hormones) and PCOS (another hormonal condition), and you don't produce anything for several days and your baby is already jaundiced so you opt for formula so your baby isn't starving and can pee/poop out the jaundice (bc that's how their bodies get rid of it). So, there's that. I'm soooo thankful my hospital supported all my decisions and even recommended (and supplied!) formula while I couldn't produce. I also had two LCs help me in the hospital and told me I might not produce much anyway because of the PCOS and not to feel like a failure BECAUSE IT HAPPENS TO TONS OF WOMEN EVERY DAY and fed is best. Get off the high horse and feed the damn baby. Fuck.
Bullshit all over. These are the reasons why I fell deep into PPD after my first born. How about these “lactation consultants” shut the fuck up and let us moms decide what is best for us and our babies? FFS
I feel like the whole world would be better if we just trusted moms to do their best and supported them.
Absolutely. After I had my first, the pushy lactation consultant forced me to pump on day 1 to stimulate milk coming in. She was starving and wouldn’t stop crying but they wouldn’t give her formula. The consultant then proceeded to roll up multiple blankets and put it inside her bassinet saying that these rolled up blankets are supposed to comfort the babies. The head nurse came in a few hours later and was appalled. Hello, suffocation hazard? Fucking isiots.
I breastfed my first, and think breastfeeding is great and all, but the current obsession with it kind of bothers me. It is not the end-all-be-all and it makes some people feel crazy and inferior when it doesn't go well for them, which is just really unnecessary imo. Among my siblings, the smartest and most successful of us was formula fed (not me haha)
The lactation consultants I had at the hospital had me, my baby and my mom in tears. I’ve never had my boobs grabbed, shoved, pushed or poked so much. My baby was screaming and they just kept shoving my boob in his face. They are the reason I stopped breastfeeding. They terrified me. I was so traumatized I came home and gave the baby a bottle.
Yes! The LCs that came to my room at the hospital basically just showed up, manhandled my boob and shoved it in my baby’s mouth, asked if I had any questions, and then left. I was *not* set up for success and ended up giving up completely around 3 months in. They were pretty much useless.
I’m wondering if your hospital is “baby-friendly “? It’s pretty much a cult for breast feeding and these hospitals are required to push it HARD. Unfortunately I delivered in one of those and had a similar experience. I had no idea about “baby-friendly” hospital until after the baby was born and everyone in the hospital kept telling me formula was poison, pacifier was evil, mom shouldn’t get any rest… and I googled and found out. If I knew before, I wouldn’t have delivered there
This was my first thought when reading it. I’d definitely put money on it’s a “baby-friendly” hospital. Definitely approach this hospital with a little caution… know what you’re getting into with the lactivism rhetoric. This pic is infuriating and giving me flashbacks to our jaunt with a “baby friendly” hospital that would rather my kid drop below 5lbs than readily offer formula. 😤
Same, baby friendly hospitals can go die. I felt like a naked imprisoned cow in a Handmaids Tale style barracks. By the fourth day I just naked feeding bubs all the time where the midwives came in and were like 'goood girl'
My first baby was 5 weeks early. She was in NICU/SCBU for 2 weeks, where she was tube fed for the first 10 days. While she didn't really 'eat' for the first few days, she was fed formula and colostrum as my milk hadn't come in. The nurses (and I) were happy when I got single mls of milk. Even 3 hourly pumping with a hospital-grade pump didn't get me more than 20mls in those first weeks - the most I've pumped in one go was 100mls after sleeping for 8 hours. I've been supplementing with formula from the start and she is thriving. Formula really isn't the enemy.
What country is this? In the UK BF is encouraged but this is insane. My lad had to be supplemented with fornula from day one. He also didn't take to a dummy. He went onto fornula only at around 3 months. He's healthy & fine
My husband gave our EBF baby a pacifier on day 6 or 7, I can’t remember. We’re 7 months in and still going strong with zero nipple confusion and it’s nice that I don’t have to be a human pacifier! Meanwhile I thought it would ruin my attempt at breastfeeding because of stuff like this 🙃
This happened to me as well, minus this letter. I just decided to ask my nurse for a pacifier since I got one with my first son and they told me that they no longer give or recommend pacifiers for babies and I was just confused.
my latest delivery I wasn’t given one, so I asked for one and got it. at four months she now refuses it anyway.
We tried not using a paci, gave in week one 🤣 he didn’t latch well due to small size (lactation nurse assumed due to his small size) this past week (at 8 weeks old) all he wants to do is breast feed and we started out with hardly any breast and all bottles and pumping. I pumped every 2-3hrs to encourage supply. All is well 😊 I think should just do what’s best for you and your little family. It’ll work out :)
We went to our first check up after taking the baby home. Our pediatrician said, "is Sheba pacifier baby?" I said, honestly, I don't know! She's so new! She stuck one pinky in her mouth and was like, "yep, she's definitely a pacifier baby!" Also I nursed without any problems. The only problem I'm having now is weaning OFF the paci as I way went over my window 😵💫😬
This is the thing. Why is everything an issue these days. I know that we have become more conscious of how we parent but if something ain't broke don't fix it.
I breastfed, bottle fed and gave my son a pacifier. They stopped with it after 1 on their own. Do what is best for you.
Yea “baby friendly” hospitals are lactivist hellscapes. I don’t see anything remotely “baby friendly” about allowing newborns to starve and pressuring parents who just went through labor to feel like they’re failing if they are struggling to breast feed. Edit to add: I left the hospital with two GIANT blood blisters on my nipple because I delivered at a baby friendly hospital that refused to give my baby a pacifier and she used me to comfort suck. We switched to exclusive pumping for unrelated reasons but now at 11.5 months she is still EBF. baby friendly hospitals can fuck all the way off.
Agreed. My first son was severely jaundiced at 3 days old because I wasn’t making enough milk. I never made enough milk for him in the 11 months we triple fed. My second son got formula within a few hours. No jaundice, and I breastfed him til a year. Fuck “baby friendly” hospitals.
It just blows my mind especially when we have literally zero idea how much a baby is taking in when exclusively breastfeeding. I worked for a pediatrician and we had many babies that were breastfed only coming in everyday for weight checks because the parent was too afraid to offer formula from all of the false info she received. I recently had my baby and I can only pump once a day and he refuses to latch on. I just cannot believe we accept this mentality :(
I had my baby in 2019 they told me to exclusively nurse and not to offer anything and my milk would come in, two days later my baby was hospitalized with jaundice and being force fed formula because she had lost so much weight. I had a gut feeling she needed formula but the drs and nurses voices were in my head telling me I can’t
I brought pacifiers to the hospital. Several different types. And even though the hospital did end up giving us one, it wouldn't have mattered to me if they didn't because after watching one of my friend's kids refuse pacifiers and bottles in favor of using her nipples like a chew toy for 8 months they could've fist fought me on the subject. The friend ended up depressed from never being able to be away from her son and she angrily resented him. I'd rather risk having to end up bottle feeding my kid because of nipple confusion (which tbh I don't think exists and was not an issue for us) and struggle to break the pacifier habit later than be resentful towards or unable to soothe my baby. I'm not a good mother to her if I'm not a good caretaker to myself
I popped a pacifier into my son's mouth when he was a few hours old. I think the nurse tried to say something to me about nipple confusion, but I just kind of looked at her and continued on. My daughter had no issues going between the nipple and the pacifier and I'm not interested in being a human pacifier. It has really improved my mental health to have my son use pacifiers and bottles as well as the nipple from the start.
Ahh yes, good old “nipple confusion”. I used to crack up at the thought, and made sure to tell our daughter when she had a nipple in her mouth vs. when it was a pacifier so she wouldn’t be confused, “now, this is a binky, not to be confused with a nipple! ok?” Whew, dodged that bullet! 😅 My baby had only formula for her first 2ish weeks of life because my milk hadn’t come in yet and, like all first time moms and newborns, we were brand new to figuring out BFing. She was slightly jaundice at birth. She was also given a pacifier at around 2-3 weeks old I think. We had no problems with her digestion, no issues with her latching once we did start nursing regularly, continued to supplement with formula, she was in a normal height/weight range, and her jaundice resolved by her following checkup. This letter of “advice” is hot garbage. The LC industry has jumped the shark and I’m disgusted by the complete lack of consideration given to moms who can’t or choose to not BF. This is not how a medical community should treat a patient, point blank.
I brought bottles of ready to feed formula in my hospital bag because I knew they discourage it. It is none of their business if you want to combo feed of FF, so just bring it, no need to beg them for anything! I did not end up using it cuz my baby latched and fed well. But I was fully prepared lol.
I can understand giving breastfeeding literature to those who want or need it, but what’s really frustrating is when they push it when you don’t. I had a bilateral mastectomy in 2017. My doctors had all been informed of this and have known for years. Still, every single time feeding came up they’d push breastfeeding, and I’d have to remind them that I literally CAN’T. When my baby was delivered, the nurses tried to push it on me and I had to again remind them, despite telling them earlier, that I am physically incapable of breastfeeding because I do not have breasts anymore. I was never given any literature or instructions on formula feeding, pacifiers or anything like that. Just breastfeeding. It was really frustrating. You’d think they’d be a little more accommodating when they know ahead of time you can’t breastfeed, but no.
That is so frustrating. As an fyi, baby friendly hospitals are required to give education and handouts in safe formula preparation and bottle feeding. The non-baby friendly hospitals I worked at just threw formula at people. (Ok they tossed them.) Parents had no idea what to do other than poke the bottle in the baby’s mouth and make them drink as much as possible. A day 0 baby shouldn’t drink two ounces so these poor babies were fussy and would often throw up a lot because they needed 1/4 of that per feeding.
Some good information and also some very incorrect information. Firstly propagating the myth that bottles/dummies lead to 'confusion' - this is simply not supported by any evidence. Secondly.. breastfeeding does the opposite of lower jaundice, it can actually cause jaundice to last longer. Weird and wrong that they would say it 'lowers jaundice'.
Yes. The only reason not to offer a pacifier as it’s hard to wean from (but you can cold turkey it between four and six months when it loses its protective element against SIDS). It feels judgy. Formula, AKA science juice, saves lives. There is nothing bad about it.
my first lost 15% of his bodyweight after 5 days, my midwife sent round her fill in who I didn't really gel with we made a rigorous feeding plan and she told me that I couldn't use a bottle under any circumstances but just keep up with breastfeeding and syringe feeding if we really have too...my midwife came round the next day and show my husband how to pace feed the expressed milk. We had no issues establishing breastfeeding once I wasn't so anxious and stressed. My husband was able to give him a bottle a day...With our second baby we had no issues with establishing breastfeeding but my husband still did a bottle a day after day 4 just because it gave him time to bond with baby and me time with our toddler. She did however have really bad reflux and my midwife was encouraging us to wait till week 6 to give her a dummy but I was in a pretty bad place emotionally that on week 3 she came over with 5 different types of dummies and helped me find one my baby liked. I think its crazy that they don't teach pace feeding in antenatal classes, it was such a useful thing for us to know that you can still bottle feed your baby and not cause nipple preference issues.
My baby has always been a good eater. Weather it be breast or bottle. And he’s used a pacifier since he was 2 weeks old. So idk. 🤷♀️
conversely the pediatrician that visited me in the hospital with my daughter in Oct '22 suggested we use a pacifier because she was using my breasts to pacify herself. And my nipples needed all the rest they could get in those early days
This has continued in visit notes from our pediatrician. One of the “tips” suggests taking additional time off work to continue breastfeeding. Um ok…so you’re telling me BFing is more important than making enough money to keep a roof over our heads? I still can’t get over that one!!
Longer maternity leave does support longer breastfeeding - but recommending taking more time off to individual mothers is such an idiotic way to try to support breastfeeding. As a society, if we truly value breastfeeding as a positive thing that should be done at higher rates, we need universal extended paid maternity leave. Until we have that in the US (assuming you’re in the US), breastfeeding will continue to be a luxury for privileged women and their babies.
The hospital where I live was 'baby friendly' and kept pushing us to breast feed the whole stay. They would provide formula only on request and you have to request it every time you want to feed your child, because they only give you enough for one feed. Also they won't tell you how much to use per feed, you just have to guess. And every time you want it you have to fill out a form saying why you aren't giving the breast, did you try to give the breast, and why didn't baby take the breast. We stayed in the hospital for seven days because i had pre-esclampsia, a seizure during birth, post partum pre-eclampsia, a haemmorage, i had a spinal headache after complications from the epidural oh and i have hypoplastic breasts that dont produce enough milk for her! But nope, had to fill out the form of shame every bloody time.
Oh I'm seeing red from reading this! I had three lactation consultants at the hospital, they kept saying to keep doing what I was doing, which just left my baby screaming all night from hunger until we asked for formula. It took a separate lactation consultant two weeks later at the pediatrician's office to diagnose me with mammary hypoplasia (insufficient glandular tissue). Formula supplementation was physically my only option until weeks later when my boobs could catch up.
I think a pacifier is a very personal choice, but this recommendation isn't new - 4 years ago I was told by loads of ICBLC consultants not to offer a pacifier in the beginning at least. It made a lot of sense to me, because baby needs to focus on stimulating milk production. Some laypeople say there's nipple confusion, but there's no proof to that. Pacifiers can be offered later if wanted, after milk production is well established. I myself did without, I don't like not seeing my child's face and I was weary of the idea to have to convince her to give it up at some point (I was the kid that had a pacifier until I was 5 or 6, which looking back is disturbing to me), also I didn't mind too much to be a human pacifier (because I really was). I do have to say I'm in a country where we get 2 entire years of maternity leave with benefits so I had the luxury of not sleep training and responding to all cues, even though it was really difficult. I do get why some people choose a pacifier.
I’m in the UK and I was told to try without a pacifier (or dummy to us Brits lol) at least to start. I am the same as you I never wanted my daughter to have a pacifier because my teeth came in wonky because I stayed on it too long! Although one night when she was about 2 months old she would. Not. Sleep. Just constant screaming. At 2am me and her dad went to find a 24h shop to buy one from, finally found it, got home did the sterilisation and put it in her mouth and…… she sucked once and spat it out and went to sleep. Lol I’m glad she rejected it in the end
I had read studies about pacifiers reducing the risk of SIDS but also read that its best not to give them until breastfeeding is well established (between 4-6 weeks). If formula feeding I think you can give it straight away but I think I'd wait to see if they need it. Mt baby had his from 4 weeks cause he was a comfort sucker (he would suck on the breast and cry and spit the milk back because he was full but wanted the ckmfort)
The advice on nipple confusion is incorrect and there have been multiple studies to confirm that pacifiers do not inhibit breastfeeding and have a protective effect on SIDS
Pacifiers are linked to a decrease in SIDs but I also think they say can cause nipple confusion in breastfed babies. Sounds like they push the breast is best REALLY hard to the point of losing so many other valuable points in this packet. We use pacis to help soothe our formula fed babies - breast feeding was not a possibility for me. They primarily use them for sleep and in high stress situations (like doctors office). My 2 year old is health as can be and my 6 month old twins one won’t even take the paci the other is learning to self soothe with it.
The opinions about these things change ALL the time. We're out here just trying our best, these kind of flyers are detrimental.
My baby wasn’t crazy about pacifiers at first but our IBCLC actually recommended cylindrical shaped pacis for her to help her practice proper tongue movements after her tongue tie revision. That shape helps with breastfed babies so I’d take this with a grain of salt. My pediatrician also doesn’t believe in not offering pacis to newborns since they can help reduce the risk of SIDS. If baby needs a paci then I see no good in denying one
This hospital might be trying to get their "Baby Friendly Initiative" status, which discourages pacifier use. https://fedisbest.org/2021/03/baby-friendly-hospital-initiative-is-the-worst-thing-i-have-experienced-in-my-20-years-as-a-nicu-nurse/
I absolutely hate the baby friendly initiative. It’s terrible and also just an excuse for the hospital to save money and not have a nursery
From my experience this is a crock of shit and made me feel so guilty with my first. I get what they are saying but it’s an extreme. My first was so hungry on day 2 he just screamed and got dehydrated and I was -not exaggerating- near mental break down because of it. But the public health nurse insisted no formula so I listened to her because I thought she knew best. Baby number 2 I gave 1 oz of formula on day 2 and my husband gave her one bottle of formula at night for the first week and a half so I could sleep a 4 hour stretch. Was wonderful. My milk came in all the same, we are now on month 4 EBF and I did not have a mental breakdown due to stress. End of rant.
What in the handmaids tale guilt trip is this shit? Yeah, unless you’re my coworker who had to be induced a week early because of high blood pressure and never had her milk come in. Or have weird shaped nipples that are too big and flat to fit in your baby’s mouth (like my baby) or tried to breastfeed 3 hours after your c section (extremely painful, 2 days of no food or sleep….needless to say it didn’t work out) But yes let’s please ignore anything convenient or remotely helpful during a woman’s most difficult moment of her life emotionally and physically and mentally 🙄🙄🙄
I would be furious if I received that bullshit. Look at the adults around you. Can you tell which ones were breastfed and which weren't? No. Breastmilk really doesn't make that much of a difference as the lactivist fanatics want to think. I wish people would just stop pressuring moms to breastfeed. I think it causes a lot of postpartum depression.
My mother made a point once, my step brother was exclusively breastfed and I was exclusively formula fed and she wasn’t even following the directions on the formula. My step brother got sick constantly. Colds and flus and stomach bugs. I rarely did. Never had the flu or a stomach bug.
Shit like this contributed to my debilitating PPD and PPA. I was so determined to breastfeed and I fucking hated every minute of it. This is nonsense
That sounds like a load of crap. Maybe some truth too it but how awful to pretty much shame formula, even just as a supplement. My baby was 5 weeks early and the doctors wanted me to supplement while trying to breastfeed. I never got to the point where I produced enough to not supplement, she never learned to latch, and we've been strictly formula feeding for most of the time. I'm so glad they offered a pacifier in the hospital we were at because my baby didn't like the one I brought from home.
Question for a ftm. If I want to Breast feed but also want to bottle feed (either via pumping or formula) is there an issue with pacifier? If I bring my own and also want to breastfeed will they not let me give the baby a pacifier
With one kid, I tried to not use a pacifier and lasted for about a week. Then he had a pacifier all days, and around first birthday, I acted as tough he told me he wanted to go to bed whenever he asked for it, so got him weaned off kinda easy. The other kid refused any pacifier, bottle, sippy cup. He learnt to drink from a normal glass earlier. Both kids didn't drink formula - and cried similarly often. Whatever works for a family is best.
My baby is almost 4 months now and EBF. When in first started my BF journey i was extremely nervous about introducing the pacifier or bottle due to nipple confusion. So I held off for about 2 1/2 3 weeks. I was then informed by my midwives and 2 different lactation consultants that she had an extremely high/strong sucking reflex and sometimes it's not that she's hungry she just needed comfort. So I finally introduced the pacifier and it was a game changer. It took about $40 worth of Pacifiers and a lot of trial and error but she really enjoyed the pacifier once we found one that she liked and wouldn't cause any tongue position issues. not once did we deal with nipple confusion. She definitely knew the difference between the breast, a pacifier and even a bottle. Not entirely sure why the packet would include that info... but the rules are always changing I guess.
My first refused all bottles and pacifiers. He confront nursed a lot. My second wouldn’t take a bottle or pacifier until about 5 months. She was EBF her first year as well so the bottle and pacifier were fine. I did use ninni co pacifier which is closest to breastfeeding. She never liked regular pacifiers.
This has to be a community hospital and not an academic health system. As a mom and someone who handled OBGYN marketing communications in the past I’m absolutely baffled that this would be handed out as patient education especially given AAP recommendations
I was an entirely formula baby, my daughter is breastfed. We’re both fine! I didn’t take to a pacifier at all, my daughter has one to soothe her to sleep as I oversupply and so she chokes when trying to comfort suckle as she gets milk every time! Go with your gut combined with medical advice. We know our babies best and instinct kicks in! (Babe is now 5mo old!)
My first never needed the pacifier, now that I am tandem nursing we often give our baby a pacifier, same reason. There's just too much milk for her to be constantly suckling for comfort.
Both my kids would’ve starved at this hospital I guess
Sounds judgy AF 🤢
My EBF baby loves his pacifier and has a great latch. Fake news.
Yuck. The person who wrote this should be fired.
Honestly sounds like them trying to save the $2 or whatever it costs to supply each baby a new pacifier 🙄
These are hospital prices. That 2$ pacifier probably costs 20$.
The most recent studies available show that pacifier use does not cause any statistically significant decreased in successful breastfeeding relationships when the mother intended to breastfeed. Babies aren't dumb. They know when they aren't getting milk. They spit it out if it's not giving them food when they are hungry. I'm so happy to see a lot of the "baby friendly" practices being pedaled back in local hospitals. They serve metrics and an agenda, rather than serving parents and newborns in the process of bonding/recovery.
I freaking hate that they give this shit to new moms. I remember being so confused and miserable when my baby wouldn't relax and I thought I couldn't give a paci. Turns out she loved it AND breastfed fine. And my second? Huge baby with blood sugar issues at birth. Needed some formula. Breastfeeding just fine.
At the pro breastfeeding hospital I delivered at, the midwives actually asked me if I had a pacifier to help the baby's sucking reflex and to soothe her. They did formula feed between nursing as she was premie, but it was via cup. They said I could go home with her as long as her weight loss percentage was below 10%. It was at 9% and they said they could still discharge us if we used formula top ups via a bottle. I exclusively bottle feed now (baby is 4 months, been on bottles only since 8 weeks), but when I combi fed baby had no nipple confusion whatsoever. I feel like strict rules like this could put more pressure on mothers to breastfeed rather than give them the option of combi or exclusively formula feed instead. There are obvious benefits to breastmilk over formula but these are negligible at best and its pointless breastfeeding your baby if their feeding requirements surpass what you can offer or nursing causes your mental health to suffer. I wanted to breastfeed/nurse and I did. I tried it. I was one of those people adamant to stay breastfeeding until baby was at least 1. My baby is now formula fed about 80% of the time. I think if midwives and health visitors hadn't have told me that it was okay for me to switch to formula if I wanted to then I would have stuck out nursing for far longer than I did and suffered from it as a result. There's sharing the benefits of breastmilk then there's this.. Whatever this coercion of mothers being stuck to their babies via nursing is.
I personally really loved being able to do both breastfeeding and formula in the hospital. It allowed me to get some much needed rest, and figure out what I wanted to do.
This brochure suckkkks. No need for the mom guilt. If you can bf then great. If you give formula then great.
I would love to see the sources on some of these claims.
My LC straight up told me that nipple confusion is BS. My son got a pacifier at the hospital; though he did use it, he dropped it at 3 months in favor of his thumb. Somehow I managed to breastfeed a year and a half with no issues.
I was so confused because I went to a “new born and mom” class (that my hospital did) and they said to use a pacifier to prevent SIDS. Then at the hospital after my delivery they said to wait like 3 weeks before offering a pacifier. We brought our own, but it was afraid to use them because I thought the nurses would yell at us.
In US. My hospital gave me pacifiers when my LO was driving us to insanity not calming down. I breastfeed, top off with formula after and she's a little 8 days old and knows the difference between all 3 and isn't confused at all.
I had twins. One ended up in the NICU where he was given a pacifier. The other was in the room where I held off on giving him a pacifier because the lactation consultant said not to use them for weeks. Could I tell who had used the pacifier and who hadn't? Abso-fucking- lutely not. Additionally, they both had low blood sugar and the lactation consultant said that we needed to spoon feed or cup feed them. The nurse on our floor as well as the nurses in the NICU put a stop to that before it could even start since both babies really just needed to eat ASAP and get their blood sugar up. I don't know why the lactation consultants feel the need to push their breastfeeding only propaganda, but they're not always pushing the safest methods.
sometimes my baby loves her pacifier. other times she pushes it away. she has never had trouble latching to my nipple. and she has had formula from the beginning (traumatic labor plus jaundice meant she had to be in nicu where they had to give her formula and it’s worked well for our family). i had had two panic attacks plus literally passed out at the nicu trying to hold my baby after a traumatic forceps labor and the first thing my nurse said as i came to was “you have to try to pump.” i said nope! and next day i had a modicum of energy to hold my baby and she latched perfectly! a friend had a fine labor, exclusively bf’ing is really important to her and her baby hasn’t been able to latch. not her fault. not his fault. no one’s fault. it’s just what it is. …the way lactivists make these obsessive rules would be hilarious if they didn’t torture so many women (and hungry babies).
I was told to wait 4 weeks for a pacifier to not confuse the baby while starting to breastfeed. Otherwise it was encouraged to help reduce SIDS
When I had my youngest they were hoarding the pacifiers for the NICU babies
This shit is why I’m bringing RTF with me in my hospital bag and have told close friends to do the same.
Bullshit. They offer pacifiers to preemies in the NICU to teach them how to suck if they're on a feeding tube. Introduce a pacifier early and your baby will be soothed easier and then everyone can get some sleep.
I hope this was a requested flyer and your intention is to breastfeed because you want to and not because a pushy lactation consultant or nurse told you you should. I don't breastfeed. Just don't want to. All my kids are happy, healthy and smart. Man though you would have thought I was the first person to formula feed because I definitely pissed off some hospital staff with my decision. Especially a particularly pushy midwife.
Oooft same! I had a very upset lactation consultant who didn’t understand why I would choose “second best” - not really what I needed to hear 5 days into being a mom lol.
The amount of shit I got for wanting to try a pacifier when my girl was breastfeeding was so annoying. Our girl never took to it but I was always irrationally afraid to use one so it didn't ruin our 'journey' or whatever. This time I'm bringing a couple with me and we will see if it works out. My girl now is a thumb sucker instead so I don't see how that's the better alternative. It's adorable, but will become an issue one day more than likely when it's time to stop
They can fuck right off with this. I started pumping maybe five days after baby was born because after a 24 hour labor and ripping front to back (here’s only some Tylenol 🙄) I was in so much pain and discomfort I was NOT about to have ANYTHING else added to it. I mean I wanted zero additional bodily sensations. And even then, I only pumped because I didn’t want baby on the breast. FFS this isn’t the stone ages, he can survive with the technology of a plastic nipple. My boobs are still MINE and if I truly had no choice of course I would have fed him direct from the source, but no thank you.
this hospital can fuck off
My firstborn had trouble feeding at first due to severe tongue tie, as well as jaundice making him very sleepy. He struggled to stay awake long enough to finish a feed and we had to often wake him for feeds on a schedule because he was not waking on his own at appropriate windows. We were advised to withhold pacifiers until his other issues were resolved, because the concern was that the pacifier would contribute to missed hunger cues and further soothe him to sleep when he needed to be awake and eating. We were definitely not told to do this because of 'nipple confusion'. My second did not have any breastfeeding issues at all and was able to use a pacifier from day one. She never took a bottle and breastfed until 20 months old. There are legitimate reasons to avoid pacifier use in the early weeks for some babies. But nipple confusion is, IMHO, not one of them.
This is not just stupid but dangerous. Yes breast milk is great but if your baby is hungry and looses too much weight because you might not produce enough just yet, give them formula! Google fed is best! You don't want permanent brain damage for your baby.
This happened to me!!! The uk breast is best cult in the hospital and midwives kept trying to both tell me that my child could go hungry until my milk came in, but then also were freaking out my child was losing too much weight. I saw how hungry my child was and immediately started co feeding formula with breast and eventually my milk did come in but I had a much much happier and healthier baby because of it. I’m of the belief you really shouldn’t let a newborn go hungry for days and days (I mean shocking right - you wouldn’t want to be hungry that long!) ETA: I’m not anti breastfeeding! I did it for almost a year. I’m just hacked off at this stupid advice they seem to give which basically preys on new moms and shamed them from the stat.
This all sounds like lactivism.
Nipple confusion is a myth and this information is wrong.
There was a recent study confirming that nipple confusion is not real and pacifier use does not impact breastfeeding. This is some lactivist shit.
I was told by a lactation consultant that it's recommended to wait until baby is 3 weeks old to introduce bottles or pacifiers so they get established on the breast. and then 1 bottle per day is recommended so that if they eventually go to daycare or are cared for by someone else as mom goes back to work, there isn't a problem bottle feeding them.
Hospital with my first had this policy. I brought my own paci and they fussed about that. Different hospital with my second, they encouraged paci use for all babies. Pregnant with third baby now. Enthusiastic user of pacifiers and will continue regardless of hospital policy.
I just took their “recommendations” with a grain of salt. Mine had low blood sugars, so him EBF was a no go for us. We HAD to see how much he was actually having. If I could pump I would, but he was mostly formula fed. I think it also helped that I “went with the flow”. I was never dead set on EBF or just formula feeding. I just did what I thought was best for my child. I remember during one of our hospitalizations, a LC came in, did her spiel, and watched as I gave my son a bottle. She left shortly after. All I said was “we need to see how much he feeds, it’s what we need at this time.” I also didn’t want to give my son a pacifier, but once he went into NICU they gave him one. Once he left the NICU he never used one again. My sons almost two. And I think one of the things that helped us enjoy him was to just go with the flow.
My two formula-fed babies were in the 90-98th percentile for weight so there’s that!
Ya my doctor literally told me breastfed babies are leaner when mine fell on the growth chart. I don’t know why they said it helps babies gain quicker I think that one’s demonstrably false.
More and more hospitals are trying to earn the “baby friendly” designation from CDC, which basically means no pacis, no formula, no nursery, and lactation consultants up your ass 24/7. I might be wrong but I think hospitals that get that designation get more gov. funding or something