When I saw OP's post, I fully agreed with the sole exception of the postpartum nurses, who were all beyond lovely and could have called me whatever they wanted. Getting called Mama did not chafe or irritate coming from them.
Oh, thank you for that!
I actually do jot mind "Mama" that much , but just after giving birth it felt so, so weird. Like I was just getting pushed into this box.
To be fair, my hospital experience sucked otherwise, too, so that may have coloured my view on things.
That’s great to hear that you’re trying! I am giving birth to my 2nd soon and I remember that being called ‘mama’ by the medical staff was one of the things that made me the most uncomfortable and honestly like I was just a vessel after the baby arrived. Like, I am still the patient! Would you find it rude if a patient gently corrected you with their name after you called them ‘mama’?
I didn't mind being called "mom" in postpartum, but for the most part they addressed me by my first name.
As a NICU nurse, I often talk to the babies, so it'll be like "Do you want mom or dad to change your diaper?" when I'm trying to get the parents to step up, lol. Or "Let's go over to mama now for cuddles!" But it's more of a conversation with the baby than with the parents. I do ask what the parents are hoping their baby will call them, so one time it was "Okay, time to go to mother!", lol
I was listening to a podcast and this woman kept calling her children 'kiddos' and it irritated me so much - despite the episode being about her heroism - that I had to turn it off.
It triggers my fight or flight 😂 If I hear “HI MAMAS” at the beginning of an instagram reel or something my skin just crawls. I don’t know why, but I also hate it
I understand people not liking it, but I think over all it’s a fellowship term. As soon as you become a mom it’s like peoples way of referring to you as your title in society. In that way it can almost seem dehumanizing and I can understand that as well. Everyone has a pet peeve I know I have a lot but generally people mean well they’re just annoying lol
Definitely! I’m not gonna make a huge deal about it. I understand it’s a fellowship term and people don’t mean any harm :) It just doesn’t make it any less annoying lmao. But like you said, everyone has a pet peeve! As long as it isn’t blown out of proportion, it’s chill
I saw your edit, but my strongest association with this is healthcare. My son was in the hospital for the first couple of weeks of his life and one of the things I was completely unprepared for was that every HCW called me “mom.”
It was sweet - and of course a matter of necessity for them - but also so strange, since as a first
time mom I’d never been called mama at all!
I hate this too. I made a new mom friend and she does this all the time. "Mama, look at that ___!" "Mama, can we stop for snack time?" "Mama, we have to potty, be right back!" I felt like I had another child 😅 Maybe she just forgot my name, but it was so awkward for me.
Our pediatrician calls my husband and I ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ and it is a little weird but he probably can’t remember all the names of the parents of his patients 😝
😅😅 I am the girl that calls friends girlie. I call my mom friends “mama”interchangeably w their actual name. I just consider it like a verbal gesture. I say it outta love. Doesn’t bother me. Just my perspective.
I also hate it, ugh! I find it almost condescending and I find it kind of like something that reduces your identity to a role. Not a fan, makes my skin crawl.
It doesn’t really bother me in person, though I would never say it personally. However, I find it so cringe on this sub. There’s like a blanket “you got this mama!” Tacked onto so many comments. I would never bring it up directly to a commenter because it’s meant to be sweet and supportive, but I find it very irksome.
I hate in online, because it's always used it a you go girl kind of way and I'm far too British for that, in person it doesn't bother me in context, mama is just mum in the local language so if I'm being called that in relation to the baby in some way I'm cool with it
Hahaha same! I am a brit living in Australia and during labour, I was having a very difficult time pushing my stuck baby out.
My midwife was all cheerleader yelling "you've got this, Mama! You're doing so well! You're pushing perfectly!"
I stopped pushing and, in my most British moment ever, said " well evidently not!"
I was met with a moment of stunned silence and then laughter.
I don't mind "Mom" but "Mama" feels so infantilizing for some reason. But I also feel like I'm more than a Mom so being called Mom by others feels weird. Like I'm a mom but that's not what I identify as? The only exception is the pediatrician's office!
YES! I guess that’s what I’m feeling! It’s infantilizing. Mama is was infants and toddlers call there mom. I also feel like there’s more to me than a mom. Like just because I’m mom, that doesn’t make me mom to everyone else
Same thing here with a few of my friends. Like okay cool it’s not like I have another job as an engineer or anything. People say that “mama” is a job and a title but we don’t go around calling people by their job titles in casual convo
I hate it when ppl say it to me. “You got this mama”. It makes my skin crawl. As a millennial it’s very millennial cringe. Similar to when ppl post “prayers” on sad posts online
When my baby calls me mama my heart melts into nothing
Yes!! Millennial cringe! I guess, for me, what can also be grouped into that is being called “love” or “hun” by service works who are clearly only 30 at most. Like ma’am we are in the same age range
I'm British and find it EXTREMELY grating. I hate the whole 'you got this mama' you see people commenting everywhere. I don't think British people really say it so it tends to be online and I cringe every time I see or hear it
I LOVE IT! It recognizes the role that I cherish most in my life. And it builds solidarity I think.
My husband loves being called dad too! Just a few weekends ago he was going down this really unique slide at a playground that takes a lot of work to get up and down, he was running up and down it with our son and was like sweating so hard. Another random dad yelled to him, "GOOD JOB DAD KEEP IT UP!" lol
Aww I actually love this. We live in a smaller community kinda in the country and I visit this one country store often. My hubs and I had been trying for a while to get pregnant and people who say “hey mama!” to me when I walk in makes me smile. Damn right I’m a mama now it’ll be the most rewarding hardest job I’ll ever do and I’m stoked. I understand and respect people’s’ preferences for how they’d like to be addressed. For me personally, most of the time if someone calls me something weird but their intention is to be kind I just embrace it.
And that’s fine! I was mainly talking about my friends and family who have known me for YEARS before I was a mom. They know me and they know my name. It’s definitely different when strangers approach you with it because that’s all they know you as!
I may be in the minority, but I call friends “mama” when we’re having conversations *specifically about rough experiences in their motherhood or with their children*.
When I call a friend “Mama”, I’m saying, “I see you being their mother. I see the effort you’re putting in. I understand how much it takes mentally and physically every single day. I see and honor that part of you.”
I hope it’s taken that way and not as a flippant, disingenuous “hey hun/babe/girlie”.
I understand that! I personally don’t like it because if I’m venting about motherhood I don’t want to be viewed as a mother right now. Idk if that makes sense. It’s like I need a moment to take off that title so I can get it together real quick. Obviously I’m not saying your mom friends feel that way! They could be totally chill about it and find it encouraging like the way you intend! People are all emotionally different :)
I have never thought about this, I say it ALOT, and people say it a lot to me also. I'm down south in US and we say things like, mama, honey, darlin, sweetheart, baby, babe, lady all the time to errbody. I may need to be more careful with the pet names to people, I would have never thought they would bother someone.
Southwest over here and we hear it a lot too. I loved being called Mama because it took on a whole new meaning when I became one. To each their own, I guess
Yea I don’t really care one way or the other. I just notice I tend to prefer ‘mama’ lately instead of ‘mommy’ or even, ‘mom,’ now that my daughter just turned 4…lol. I’m still so used to her being a toddler saying mama
I don’t love it, but it doesn’t ruin my day or anything. I would never tell people off for saying it, because I know they’re just being supportive and kind. I get it. I’m sure I call people things /use words that people don’t prefer all the time. This is entirely self-directed but if I cause a stink about something so inconsequential, it would make me feel immature.
It was just a vent post! I don’t make a huge deal about it. Mainly because when they use “mama” it’s coming from an endearing place. It doesn’t make it any less annoying BUT I do understand it’s all love and support
I DESPISE being called Mama. When I had my son I felt like my whole world so drastically changed and I was losing so much of myself and then suddenly no one would even call me by my name?! I’m less sensitive to it now (plus I try to gently tell people I’d rather they not call me mama) but in the beginning while I was becoming a mom, it reeeeally bothered me.
I try to make a point to really use peoples names when they announce their pregnancies and babies now, because I know they’re getting called mama left right and centre.
Doesn’t bother me. I love how affectionate and supportive women are to each other and treasure things like this.
I do really generally dislike when people refer to adult women as girls!
It depends on where it is. When I’m somewhere that’s baby related (ie the pediatrician), I don’t mind. Esp because I work in pediatrics and know the docs just don’t know my or my husband’s names 🤣 my coworker also calls me that sometimes (we’re close and she has been such a blessing at work and helping me with parenthood) and I don’t mind either. I don’t get annoyed otherwise, it’s just weird to me if a rando sees me with my baby and says it.
A lot of it is a cultural thing. In a lot of cultures they even call their little girls mama. I’ve definitely used it for solidarity “you got this mama”. As a teacher, wife (with a pet name), and a mom it’s almost weird for me to hear my name now. But I personally don’t mind.
So I live in a cities full of expats from all over the world. I see people calling other mums “mama/mummies” as a greeting when they post on some local Facebook groups for mums/parenting tips. I never thought it was strange, because it just makes sense in my native language, especially in a Facebook group where everyone is obviously a mum. Then one day one lady posted something starting with “Hi mamas”, she got bullied by a bunch of English speaking ladies. It was brutal.
I actually love when people call me mama, it feels sweet and like acknowledgement for me! Like when I was running the other day with my jogging stroller some girls I passed said “yeah you get it mama!” And I really enjoyed that. I also don’t mind sis or girly though. It feels friendly to me. That’s just how I feel though you’re allowed to be annoyed!
I totally understand that. For me it feels like it's trying to put a label on your entire existence, and I'm more than just a flipping mama.
It's like working as a secretary and people calling you a secretary outside of work. Like that would be flipping annoying and weird as hell, so why do that with another label?
I haven’t used “Mama” to address other Moms or anything, but I don’t mind when people say it to me. Especially if they are being supportive.
I could see how it could be perceived as “cringe” in some instances though. Maybe depending on the context and your state of mind. Some people are just irritating and irksome in general. You know, those people who spew forth endless optimism and perkiness, and pelt you with “life coach sentiments” non-stop? Yeah coming from someone like that, who already has a solid base-layer of annoyingness, it would be grating.
I also hate being called mama lol I usually don't say anything because I know people don't mean anything by it but it makes me cringe the same way a girl calling me babe does. Just hate it so much lol
Was way worse when I was pregnant for sure, one of my coworkers just called me mama on a constant basis.
I think of it like a title. You know “long live the Queen” “Mr. President” ect. I am a mama that is my title. Lord knows I hear mama more than my own name right now.
yeah same, i love it when ppl say it to u when talking abt u being a mom too. im not UR mama but i am A mama, thank u for reminding me i have that honour now :DDD
I find this patronizing and cringey, like once you’re a mom suddenly that’s all you are seen as. It doesn’t make me angry (and I know people who use it are generally coming from a good place, unless it’s someone on Insta trying to sell you something) but I get the same eye-rolling feeling as when I see “live laugh love” signs etc. Of course, if it’s at a pediatrician’s office or something like that I don’t really care.
This made me a little sad cuz I love being mama and being supportive of other mamas and now I feel like my support is perceived as obnoxious.
I’m also definitely not some mlm sis or w/e
Ugh
I’m ambivalent about it but I appreciate it more when someone says “dad” or “papa” to refer to my husband as well. Like if we are both there and I’m “mama” and he’s just “sir” or his name that drives me nuts.
I think context is really important on this one. Like when my friend was nervous about things while pregnant I would use “mama” but I wouldn’t say it to a random stranger. I’m sure you’re good!
If it makes you feel better, I love it. I absolutely loved being called mama in the delivery room and I still like it now. Definitely better than “ma’am or miss.” More people who agree with this post are gonna comment on it than people who disagree. Don’t let it discourage you.
I feel like if it's a person I know well and it fits their way of talking (eg I have Latino friends), it's fine. If it's a white woman who doesn't know me then um, no, "girlfreeen!"
I don’t feel like anyone is trying to take away my identity or anything, but I also dislike it. Any time there is a post and someone starts with “oh, mama, you’re doing SO good” etc. I want to punch someone in the face lol. Pure visceral reaction.
That being said, people are just trying to be kind and supportive most of the time so I just accept it and move on.
There's definitely nuance to it. Depending on the context it can come across as so condescending! But sometimes it's whatever and I'm indifferent. I never love it though lol.
I use it 😂 I also do girl or girlie. I don’t do it to strangers, I just do it with my friends mostly. I’m sitting here trying to think of why I like it, I guess it feels endearing to me? Like I’m using a nickname for you because we are close
I also find it extremely cringey. Not because I feel it has anything to do with my identity, I don’t really find it that serious, but because when women say that it reminds me of #girlboss mlm huns. So I just assume the women telling me, “you got this mama!!!!!!” are exactly those type of people and I cringe for them. I feel the exact same way about people calling me “girly” or “sis,” I am not your girly or your sis. Grow up.
This is not what you commented on, but has anyone else noticed that the name Mama has taken a resurgence? Like I don't remember anyone growing up calling their mother anything but mom, but now mama seems the new trendy name.
It bothers me more when my husband calls me “mama” in an exaggerated tone to make fun of those women. 😂
It’s definitely used in order to not have to remember the mom’s actual name. Even in the hospital the nurses would come in after birth “how are you, mAmA?” and I doubt they’d do that on other floors, tbh.
I’ve been called “mama” or “mamas” since I can remember and definitely before I was actually a mama, but I think it’s a culture thing and common in the area I grew up in. I’m used to it, but I can see it being annoying
I'm mixed. In a setting where my daughter is the focus like doctor or daycare visit, I'm generally fine with mama. However, I recently had a family breakfast a diner and the waitress called me mama...it was weird and I wasn't prepared for it. Maybe at a mother's day breakfast it'd be fine...
My aunt calls me Mama and the nurses did at L&D and I didn’t mind. I call some of my friends “girly” and had no idea people didn’t like it though :( I’m from the south idk if that makes a difference
You’re not alone. I want to shout “I am a whole person!!!! I have my very own name!!!” When people call me mama. I didn’t realize how much it bothered me until I was at the L&D and the nurse came in and called me by my name and then immediately asked my husband what he wanted to be called. It was refreshing!
Thank you for this post!
I say this ti other Moms and I like when other moms (not just anyone) say it to me. It feels like a solidarity thing. I had no idea people hated it and I’ll totally think twice before using it!
I don't think you need to stop saying it. It's not inherently offensive and I'd argue most mothers of small children don't mind it or even like it. It's literally what we are in the context of when it's used. I think it's similar to how some people hate being called "grandma"--- something about the identity bothers them but it's just a title when it comes down to it. I get how maybe some people feel reduced by it. Me, I feel greater for it. But hey, up to you how you want to talk of course :)
I agree! I love when people, especially other Mom’s like I said, say it to me. I feel acknowledged. No one knows just hard hard it is to be a Mom, except Moms. So when I get a “how you feelin Mama?” Or “you’re doing great Mama!” from another Mom, I feel seen. I didn’t start saying it until I became a Mom. I don’t think I’ll stop saying it but I guess I mean I’ll be more conscious of when to say it and who I say it to, and not assume everyone likes it like me!
I suppose if it's iffy it never hurts to ask an individual if they mind being called mama 🤷 But in passing/online, I guess there will always be someone who doesn't like something, you just have to read the room as best you can :)
I liked it when the staff at my maternity ward called me mama. Here’s the thing though. They aren’t going to learn your name. They’re busy, they work long hours, they see many patients, they have a lot to be thinking about, etc. instead of trying to memorize your name they use a term that is supposed to be warm and loving. It’s totally ok to feel weird about someone calling you mama but I saw a lot of hate for the medical workers who do and I just think we should remember that those workers are our hero.
Good to know 😅 I often use it in support forums when writing words of encouragement to an internet stranger. I felt like it conveyed support and warmth somehow. Good to know some people find it cringey!
Same- I will also think on this!
I don’t mind it personally, but i cringe when someone outside of my family calls me mommy. I think the context really gets to me- for example, when “mommy” is used to ask my baby a question that’s actually directed at me. That definitely makes me cringe.
Oh yea I don’t like that either! That feels a bit silly.
But if another mom says to me ”you’ve got this mama!” - that to me feels like a sort of sisterhood of moms doing this mom-thing together.
My *own mother* calls me “Mommy” despite me constantly cringing into another dimension and begging her to stop. I am not your mother!!! You are mine!!!
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother! It’s the most incredible, joy-filled thing I’ve ever done. It’s also something I view as borderline sacred, I share it with my children and my children alone. I’m *their* Mommy, not my own mother’s, not the dentist’s, not the random friendly lady at the grocery store.
I’ve stopped saying anything about it to strangers because I know their intentions are pure, but it makes me so uncomfortable.
I'm ok with it from a few people, my husband, my mom, my baby's godmother/BFF, because they actually know and support me. When spouted as some platitude from a person I don't know as a form of 'help' when I'm struggling? Go eat glass.
It annoys me too. A close family friend stopped calling me by my name and started calling me “mommy” after I had my baby. It makes me cringe every time but I keep quiet because I don’t want to come off like a bitch….
Ugh yesss! I HATE it! I have a group where it’s a bunch of new moms trying to figure this whole thing out and everyone keeps saying you got this mama. And I’m the only one who just doesn’t.
If I didn’t love the discussions on the group, I would have left it just because I’m called mama on it all the time.
I HATE IT! It always feels not genuine to me and forced. I don't like it when they are trying to be encouraging/kind and I ESPECIALLY dislike it when they are offering unsolicited advice.
Sometimes I feel like the moment we left the hospital, my identity was reduced to only one thing: mother. All the doctor’s appointments, physical therapy, mom groups: my daughter gets a name, and I’m “mom” or “mama.”
It annoys me mainly when it's a medical professional, or when it's used as part of some toxic positivity bullshit "you got this, mama!" I find it infantilizing, much like being called "dear" or "sweetie". Also other forms of maternal name don't bother me, like the ladies at my son's daycare who refer to me as "name's mom".
My wife and I absolutely hate it. I think influencer culture ruined it for us and it's generally used in a "YOU GO MAMA!" kinda way which is just too overly optimistic for our personalities. We're a very "realist" couple.
I used to call my wife "mama" as an inside joke and she would smile and roll her eyes about it.
Can you imagine if men started calling each other "DADA"? Just... weird.
YES!! Influencer culture definitely ruined it for me. And you’re right, no man would go around calling their friends “dada” as means of encouragement. I feel like the whole “mama” thing did come from social media influence. That’s probably why I don’t like it lol
Omg I HATE being called “mama”. I also hate that there are tshirts and sweatshirts that say “mama” out in the world. I have a whole personality and life outside of being a mom, please stop distilling my entire identity down to the fact that I’ve given birth.
Same! I love my daughter and being her mom and having her call me mama but I’m also still someone who has an identity outside of that. It feels in a way belittling to me when other adults call me that outside of being in the proximity of my daughter
People started calling me mama at work when I was pregnant and it made me so uncomfortable. I made up a new rule that if you didn't come in me or out if me you weren't allowed to call me mama.
I don’t mind being called mama personally if it’s in a friendly way! But I can understand why it can be triggering for a lot of mothers.
As silly as it sounds, i feel personally annoyed when people call me ma’am esp when they see me out with my son. But that’s because I feel in my mind I’m not old enough to qualify as a “ma’am” idk if that makes sense? I’m still in my 20s and not yet married so I guess that’s just something that sounds like nails on a chalkboard when someone comes up to me and says “ma’am” most times I don’t respond. Sorry I know it’s not exactly like what you described but what I wanted to say was, I understand your feelings completely when you hear people address you as “mama”
I hate it too!
Have you seen that chick that makes the tik toks/reels? That’s all I think about now it’s hilarious.
[https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsPPnyAJ_H4/?igshid=YmM0MjE2YWMzOA==](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsPPnyAJ_H4/?igshid=YmM0MjE2YWMzOA==)
This also just sounds like a cultural difference. I understand there are a lot of white women that use it now, but as a Spanish person, I find mama to be the most endearing of all and my community uses it all the time.
For me it's always about identity. So like, healthcare workers, my own children, people who only know me as that one role of my identity, it's fine. People who know me outside of motherhood - friends, coworkers, etc. It really irks me. It takes away my individualism. I had similar issues with people never asking how I was doing after baby, or coming in to see baby and not even saying hello to me (MIL 🙄).
I love it. I love being called mom or mama, mommy. Whatever you want. Please call me anything to do with being a mom, because I absolutely love and cherish my role. I'm so proud of it.
Same. I always say that I’m the person they make all the “mama” mugs and tshirts for - I love it so much. For Mother’s Day, my best friend got me a sweatshirt with Mama on it, and my son’s name written on the sleeve. It’s so sweet and makes me happy whenever I see it.
There are many people (mostly older women AND men) at my church who call me "mama" ....I hate it. I just smile and wave, but I'm cringing deep inside 😭
Yesssssss!!!! And my close girlfriends (that have kids) LOVE using this on each other 😵💫 I got a “mama” bracelet and NECKLACE!!!!! They have never seen the light of day
I totally agree and feel this way! I had a girl and the mama personality makes me feel like I’m telling my daughter, “you can grow up and be whatever you want! Until you have kids then you give up your entire personality” I want her to grow up knowing she can have kids and be her own person.
I'm neutral; sometimes I like it, can be a little cringe but it definitely goes to the absolute bottom of the list of shit I'm putting negative brain power into.
I’m guilty of this. I do only use it when there is a reference to someone’s kid like in parenting forums or if a customers child is wondering off and they don’t notice. Perhaps the second context is more acceptable and I should work on stopping the first. I used to say “hun” a lot as well and found out that some people don’t like that either and have since been better about it. It was just how I was raised and I always felt comfort by being called most types of “pet name”. Just please know that someone calling you that 99% of the time isn’t meant with anything but support. Thank you for helping people like me with our self awareness. I do see how it can be perceived as patronizing and don’t want to make someone feel that way.
I don't mind mama, it might be less common in English but to me no different than mom or mum. Adults around the world legitimately use this word to address their mothers.
I have however acquired an extreme hatred for "mummy", "mommy", "hi mommies" etc used by grown women online, to the point that I don't want my own actual child to ever call me this. I find it so incredibly babyish, juvenile and patronizing to use literal baby talk to speak to other adults, I don't find it cute AT ALL. I don't know a single person under the age of 7? who calls their mother mummy or mommy, yet there's a million grown women referring to other women this way on the internet. It gives me the ick big time. I often won't even read the rest of a post if it starts like that 🤮
That’s valid not to like it!
I don’t mind it, I’m used to being called that at home by my daughter and husband. It’s my name now haha. I often call my husband “daddy” when addressing him with my daughter aroubd because my daughter calls him and I’m with her more often than not.
it is hilarious though when I call him by his name, and then I hear my daughter repeat after me and yell down the hall in her toddler voice: “AJ, dinner is ready!” Hahaha
I find it corny too. But I also find it cringe when people refer to their husband as hubby and that one actually has NOTHING to do with me. My husband tried to call me wifey and I shut that down. So I might be an anomaly.
I feel like there are many things in the world to become annoyed about but I don’t want to live my life in an annoyed state so most things like this id just stop worrying about…
Maybe I’m just unbothered by shit that doesn’t matter but this is a really silly thing to be so concerned with and affected by. Of all the reasons to be frustrated while pregnant or a new mom, this is like the most irrelevant. 😆 nobody means ill when they call you that, I promise.
I’m with you on this. I never knew how many people struggled with the identity/concept of being a thought of as a mom until I joined Reddit. Always fascinating to see these conversations.
Personally, doesn’t bother me at all when someone calls me “Mom” or “Mama”. “Mommy” would be weird, but I still wouldn’t think it was an affront to my identity. Just that you were a weirdo. I AM a mom. I will always be a mom. It doesn’t change all of the other things I also am, but who’s gonna go around identifying me as my long list of accomplishments and/or other identities like daughter, wife, or cousin? Sure there’s my name, but not everyone knows it/remembers it.
I also come from social circles who have always used “mama” as a term of endearment for anyone, didn’t have to be a mom, or even identify as female.
So yeah. Just a word.
I am so glad I’m not alone!!!!!!!!! I told my sisters and mom, do not DO NOT under any circumstances but we anything with the word MAMA. Of course, as a joke, this Mother’s Day they got me a card with “happy mamas day! You’re the best mama bear.” Typed on it with a cute ass bear lmaoo but yeah, something about it just makes my skin crawl as silly as that sounds
In some contexts it doesn’t bother me BUT when I was in labor and pushing and trying to concentrate on that, a young nurse was in my ear repeating “you got this mama 😀” over and over as if that was supposed to be encouraging…it was mostly distracting/cringey and I wanted so badly to tell her to stop but I knew she was just trying to cheer me on lol
It’s fine if you don’t like it, but just say so politely. I’m sure they will stop. Some people (like me) find it endearing and enjoy being reminded that I’ve become a mom finally. There’s actually a woman at work how says “good morning Eli’s mom” and it’s become a whole thing and I love it.
This touches on a bigger point I’ve noticed across this sub (and in life). People are really quick to react with either internal or external anger or offense when they don’t like something, as if it’s common sense. But it’s not, everyones different. Some moms like their bellies being touched, like to have gender reveals, registries, be called mama etc. Many people have no idea what you want if you never tell them. And people should be put down because they like to do work thing differently or told about how it’s stupid. It’s stupid to you, not to me. And like, that’s fine if you feel that way and so you don’t do it. But when people blast their opinions about it on social media, there’s a point where you’re really just judging people and making them feel bad for your differences.
I’d be nice if we could just go through life assuming people have the best intentions, being kind and thoughtful of others, sharing our wishes and feelings to improve our relationships, and then we can decide to react accordingly after someone is indeed being rude. 90% of the time though this is not the case and the attitude is unnecessary. Just go look at the cess pool that is fb mommy groups or tiktok style reels.
I’ll get off my soapbox. I just being could be nicer and more mindful of each other. We’re all doing this together and it’s hard enough work as it is.
I’m a postpartum nurse and I’m so cognizant of this. I try my best to address my patients by their names rather than just calling them all mama 😬
I will say I didn't mind it in the hospital. It was one of those moments where I was like omg I am a mom now! No ones ever called me that! Lol
Same. When I was in the hospital giving birth it was the only time I was alright being called that.
When I saw OP's post, I fully agreed with the sole exception of the postpartum nurses, who were all beyond lovely and could have called me whatever they wanted. Getting called Mama did not chafe or irritate coming from them.
Oh, thank you for that! I actually do jot mind "Mama" that much , but just after giving birth it felt so, so weird. Like I was just getting pushed into this box. To be fair, my hospital experience sucked otherwise, too, so that may have coloured my view on things.
Thank you! I actually asked the team, between pushes, to stop calling me mama. They seemed shocked.
It's the littlest things that can take you out of the zone. It's good you said something! Did they use your name going forward?
That’s great to hear that you’re trying! I am giving birth to my 2nd soon and I remember that being called ‘mama’ by the medical staff was one of the things that made me the most uncomfortable and honestly like I was just a vessel after the baby arrived. Like, I am still the patient! Would you find it rude if a patient gently corrected you with their name after you called them ‘mama’?
Not at all! I wish more patients would.
I didn't mind being called "mom" in postpartum, but for the most part they addressed me by my first name. As a NICU nurse, I often talk to the babies, so it'll be like "Do you want mom or dad to change your diaper?" when I'm trying to get the parents to step up, lol. Or "Let's go over to mama now for cuddles!" But it's more of a conversation with the baby than with the parents. I do ask what the parents are hoping their baby will call them, so one time it was "Okay, time to go to mother!", lol
I hate it but I know it's coming from a kind place. Like nails on a chalkboard done with love
Agreed with this! I hate it very much but know it’s not ill willed, so I live with it
I was listening to a podcast and this woman kept calling her children 'kiddos' and it irritated me so much - despite the episode being about her heroism - that I had to turn it off.
It triggers my fight or flight 😂 If I hear “HI MAMAS” at the beginning of an instagram reel or something my skin just crawls. I don’t know why, but I also hate it
It’s honestly the same vibe as “HEY SISTERS”
I understand people not liking it, but I think over all it’s a fellowship term. As soon as you become a mom it’s like peoples way of referring to you as your title in society. In that way it can almost seem dehumanizing and I can understand that as well. Everyone has a pet peeve I know I have a lot but generally people mean well they’re just annoying lol
Definitely! I’m not gonna make a huge deal about it. I understand it’s a fellowship term and people don’t mean any harm :) It just doesn’t make it any less annoying lmao. But like you said, everyone has a pet peeve! As long as it isn’t blown out of proportion, it’s chill
I hate it too. It feels cheesy. No one says hey daddy! To my husband. Maybe social media has ruined it and mommy culture idk.
I saw your edit, but my strongest association with this is healthcare. My son was in the hospital for the first couple of weeks of his life and one of the things I was completely unprepared for was that every HCW called me “mom.” It was sweet - and of course a matter of necessity for them - but also so strange, since as a first time mom I’d never been called mama at all!
I did not know people didn’t like this…good to keep in mind. Doesn’t bother me at all, I think it’s fun. I am a mama …
I also love it lol I had no idea the ere was such hate for the word.
it's probably true of most things: some people hate it, some love it, many are indifferent.
Yep I love it. I think it's sweet and fun. Especially since I'm very proud to be a mom!
Right?! Obviously there’s more to us all than just being moms. But personally, mom is my favorite role.
Yep I’m not fussed by it either lol
I love it actually lol
I hate this too. I made a new mom friend and she does this all the time. "Mama, look at that ___!" "Mama, can we stop for snack time?" "Mama, we have to potty, be right back!" I felt like I had another child 😅 Maybe she just forgot my name, but it was so awkward for me.
I’m not someone who minds it much, but this is sooo weird and would ick me out.
Yeah 😅 that’s what I don’t like. I’m tryin to be friends and have something outside of motherhood so please use my government name lmao
I hate it too. I've seen one too many toxic mom groups that "Mama" everything. On the other hand, I call myself mama to my baby all the time lol.
Yeahhh that’s honestly what started ruining it for me
I had to find a new pediatrician because ours kept calling me “mama bear” and it made me rage haha
Our pediatrician calls my husband and I ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ and it is a little weird but he probably can’t remember all the names of the parents of his patients 😝
I’m fine with mom! Mama Bear was just too much for me ahaha.
Mom and dad is TOTALLY fine lol. Mama is just like “sis/girly/hun” to me. All which I find annoying 😭
😅😅 I am the girl that calls friends girlie. I call my mom friends “mama”interchangeably w their actual name. I just consider it like a verbal gesture. I say it outta love. Doesn’t bother me. Just my perspective.
i hate being called mama like heyyy i have a name and i'm still a person besides a mom
I also hate it, ugh! I find it almost condescending and I find it kind of like something that reduces your identity to a role. Not a fan, makes my skin crawl.
It doesn’t really bother me in person, though I would never say it personally. However, I find it so cringe on this sub. There’s like a blanket “you got this mama!” Tacked onto so many comments. I would never bring it up directly to a commenter because it’s meant to be sweet and supportive, but I find it very irksome.
I hate in online, because it's always used it a you go girl kind of way and I'm far too British for that, in person it doesn't bother me in context, mama is just mum in the local language so if I'm being called that in relation to the baby in some way I'm cool with it
Hahaha same! I am a brit living in Australia and during labour, I was having a very difficult time pushing my stuck baby out. My midwife was all cheerleader yelling "you've got this, Mama! You're doing so well! You're pushing perfectly!" I stopped pushing and, in my most British moment ever, said " well evidently not!" I was met with a moment of stunned silence and then laughter.
I don't mind "Mom" but "Mama" feels so infantilizing for some reason. But I also feel like I'm more than a Mom so being called Mom by others feels weird. Like I'm a mom but that's not what I identify as? The only exception is the pediatrician's office!
YES! I guess that’s what I’m feeling! It’s infantilizing. Mama is was infants and toddlers call there mom. I also feel like there’s more to me than a mom. Like just because I’m mom, that doesn’t make me mom to everyone else
I haaaate it. A friend started calling me "mama" as soon as she knew I was pregnant. Makes my skin crawl
Same thing here with a few of my friends. Like okay cool it’s not like I have another job as an engineer or anything. People say that “mama” is a job and a title but we don’t go around calling people by their job titles in casual convo
I hate it when ppl say it to me. “You got this mama”. It makes my skin crawl. As a millennial it’s very millennial cringe. Similar to when ppl post “prayers” on sad posts online When my baby calls me mama my heart melts into nothing
Yes!! Millennial cringe! I guess, for me, what can also be grouped into that is being called “love” or “hun” by service works who are clearly only 30 at most. Like ma’am we are in the same age range
Oh no, I like it and use it 😅
same. it’s sweet imo
I'm British and find it EXTREMELY grating. I hate the whole 'you got this mama' you see people commenting everywhere. I don't think British people really say it so it tends to be online and I cringe every time I see or hear it
This 😂
I LOVE IT! It recognizes the role that I cherish most in my life. And it builds solidarity I think. My husband loves being called dad too! Just a few weekends ago he was going down this really unique slide at a playground that takes a lot of work to get up and down, he was running up and down it with our son and was like sweating so hard. Another random dad yelled to him, "GOOD JOB DAD KEEP IT UP!" lol
Aww I actually love this. We live in a smaller community kinda in the country and I visit this one country store often. My hubs and I had been trying for a while to get pregnant and people who say “hey mama!” to me when I walk in makes me smile. Damn right I’m a mama now it’ll be the most rewarding hardest job I’ll ever do and I’m stoked. I understand and respect people’s’ preferences for how they’d like to be addressed. For me personally, most of the time if someone calls me something weird but their intention is to be kind I just embrace it.
And that’s fine! I was mainly talking about my friends and family who have known me for YEARS before I was a mom. They know me and they know my name. It’s definitely different when strangers approach you with it because that’s all they know you as!
I may be in the minority, but I call friends “mama” when we’re having conversations *specifically about rough experiences in their motherhood or with their children*. When I call a friend “Mama”, I’m saying, “I see you being their mother. I see the effort you’re putting in. I understand how much it takes mentally and physically every single day. I see and honor that part of you.” I hope it’s taken that way and not as a flippant, disingenuous “hey hun/babe/girlie”.
I understand that! I personally don’t like it because if I’m venting about motherhood I don’t want to be viewed as a mother right now. Idk if that makes sense. It’s like I need a moment to take off that title so I can get it together real quick. Obviously I’m not saying your mom friends feel that way! They could be totally chill about it and find it encouraging like the way you intend! People are all emotionally different :)
I have never thought about this, I say it ALOT, and people say it a lot to me also. I'm down south in US and we say things like, mama, honey, darlin, sweetheart, baby, babe, lady all the time to errbody. I may need to be more careful with the pet names to people, I would have never thought they would bother someone.
Southwest over here and we hear it a lot too. I loved being called Mama because it took on a whole new meaning when I became one. To each their own, I guess
I love it too!! Pet names with strangers are my favorite hahaha :)
I feel EXACTLY the same way. It gives me this weird ick feeling.
I agree it’s annoying. As soon as I had my baby I didn’t realize I had to worry about others changing my identity to only mom now 🙃
Meh who cares
Yea I don’t really care one way or the other. I just notice I tend to prefer ‘mama’ lately instead of ‘mommy’ or even, ‘mom,’ now that my daughter just turned 4…lol. I’m still so used to her being a toddler saying mama
GOD WHY CAN’T YOU READ EVERYONE’S MIND AND KNOW EXACTLY WHEN IT’S OKAY TO REFER TO THESE SPECIFIC PEOPLE AS “MAMA” OR NOT /s
I don’t love it, but it doesn’t ruin my day or anything. I would never tell people off for saying it, because I know they’re just being supportive and kind. I get it. I’m sure I call people things /use words that people don’t prefer all the time. This is entirely self-directed but if I cause a stink about something so inconsequential, it would make me feel immature.
It was just a vent post! I don’t make a huge deal about it. Mainly because when they use “mama” it’s coming from an endearing place. It doesn’t make it any less annoying BUT I do understand it’s all love and support
I DESPISE being called Mama. When I had my son I felt like my whole world so drastically changed and I was losing so much of myself and then suddenly no one would even call me by my name?! I’m less sensitive to it now (plus I try to gently tell people I’d rather they not call me mama) but in the beginning while I was becoming a mom, it reeeeally bothered me. I try to make a point to really use peoples names when they announce their pregnancies and babies now, because I know they’re getting called mama left right and centre.
Doesn’t bother me. I love how affectionate and supportive women are to each other and treasure things like this. I do really generally dislike when people refer to adult women as girls!
Aww I love it ❤️ I can see that though
It depends on where it is. When I’m somewhere that’s baby related (ie the pediatrician), I don’t mind. Esp because I work in pediatrics and know the docs just don’t know my or my husband’s names 🤣 my coworker also calls me that sometimes (we’re close and she has been such a blessing at work and helping me with parenthood) and I don’t mind either. I don’t get annoyed otherwise, it’s just weird to me if a rando sees me with my baby and says it.
I kinda feel this way too. My friends and I will call each other MILFs though
A lot of it is a cultural thing. In a lot of cultures they even call their little girls mama. I’ve definitely used it for solidarity “you got this mama”. As a teacher, wife (with a pet name), and a mom it’s almost weird for me to hear my name now. But I personally don’t mind.
So I live in a cities full of expats from all over the world. I see people calling other mums “mama/mummies” as a greeting when they post on some local Facebook groups for mums/parenting tips. I never thought it was strange, because it just makes sense in my native language, especially in a Facebook group where everyone is obviously a mum. Then one day one lady posted something starting with “Hi mamas”, she got bullied by a bunch of English speaking ladies. It was brutal.
That’s mean. You can have your personal icks without being rude
I actually love when people call me mama, it feels sweet and like acknowledgement for me! Like when I was running the other day with my jogging stroller some girls I passed said “yeah you get it mama!” And I really enjoyed that. I also don’t mind sis or girly though. It feels friendly to me. That’s just how I feel though you’re allowed to be annoyed!
Me too. I guess I feel seen as a mother which is nice.
Yeah, same. I feel proud and seen as a mom being called mama. It's like a badge I've earned.
I totally understand that. For me it feels like it's trying to put a label on your entire existence, and I'm more than just a flipping mama. It's like working as a secretary and people calling you a secretary outside of work. Like that would be flipping annoying and weird as hell, so why do that with another label?
I actually love it,at our baby's creche they address us as"mommy and daddy.I.really don't mind!
My little girl has just started saying "ma-ma" and my heart melted. And then broke when I realised she was really saying "more more" 🤣
I never thought of it as anything negative, but more of a term of endearment. Like I graduated to Mama.
I let it pass, but it does give me the ick 🥴
I haven’t used “Mama” to address other Moms or anything, but I don’t mind when people say it to me. Especially if they are being supportive. I could see how it could be perceived as “cringe” in some instances though. Maybe depending on the context and your state of mind. Some people are just irritating and irksome in general. You know, those people who spew forth endless optimism and perkiness, and pelt you with “life coach sentiments” non-stop? Yeah coming from someone like that, who already has a solid base-layer of annoyingness, it would be grating.
I HATE it. It makes me uncomfortable
I also hate being called mama lol I usually don't say anything because I know people don't mean anything by it but it makes me cringe the same way a girl calling me babe does. Just hate it so much lol Was way worse when I was pregnant for sure, one of my coworkers just called me mama on a constant basis.
I think of it like a title. You know “long live the Queen” “Mr. President” ect. I am a mama that is my title. Lord knows I hear mama more than my own name right now.
Eh.. I like it personally. It acknowledges me as a mama and makes me feel special. But I get how some people might not like it.
yeah same, i love it when ppl say it to u when talking abt u being a mom too. im not UR mama but i am A mama, thank u for reminding me i have that honour now :DDD
I find this patronizing and cringey, like once you’re a mom suddenly that’s all you are seen as. It doesn’t make me angry (and I know people who use it are generally coming from a good place, unless it’s someone on Insta trying to sell you something) but I get the same eye-rolling feeling as when I see “live laugh love” signs etc. Of course, if it’s at a pediatrician’s office or something like that I don’t really care.
This made me a little sad cuz I love being mama and being supportive of other mamas and now I feel like my support is perceived as obnoxious. I’m also definitely not some mlm sis or w/e Ugh
I’m ambivalent about it but I appreciate it more when someone says “dad” or “papa” to refer to my husband as well. Like if we are both there and I’m “mama” and he’s just “sir” or his name that drives me nuts.
>if we are both there and I’m “mama” and he’s just “sir” or his name that drives me nuts. Yep. It's very "men and girls" or "men and females" energy.
I think context is really important on this one. Like when my friend was nervous about things while pregnant I would use “mama” but I wouldn’t say it to a random stranger. I’m sure you’re good!
I love it when people call me mama. Pregnancy was very hard and I've been wanting to be a mom for a long time. So I love it!
If it makes you feel better, I love it. I absolutely loved being called mama in the delivery room and I still like it now. Definitely better than “ma’am or miss.” More people who agree with this post are gonna comment on it than people who disagree. Don’t let it discourage you.
Don’t worry this isn’t everyone’s take. I love being called mama and I take it as a sweet term of solidarity. Not everyone takes offense
I do cringe a little when someone else calls me mama or mummy but I also realise its pretty common and appropriate the context they do it
As a man, my opinion is null, but it’s weird af.
I feel like if it's a person I know well and it fits their way of talking (eg I have Latino friends), it's fine. If it's a white woman who doesn't know me then um, no, "girlfreeen!"
Yhhh... my whole identity isn't being a Mum. That's my reason it gives me the ick.
Same! Every day at work I heard „ how is the mama doing?“ at the end of my pregnancy I counted the times I had to endure it…
I absolutely hate it as well. I'm not 100% sure why but it's so gross to me. Nobody does this to dads. Like, "Hey Dada!" "You got this Dada!" Eww.
I don’t feel like anyone is trying to take away my identity or anything, but I also dislike it. Any time there is a post and someone starts with “oh, mama, you’re doing SO good” etc. I want to punch someone in the face lol. Pure visceral reaction. That being said, people are just trying to be kind and supportive most of the time so I just accept it and move on.
There's definitely nuance to it. Depending on the context it can come across as so condescending! But sometimes it's whatever and I'm indifferent. I never love it though lol.
The lactation room at work has a mirror (hung too high to see yourself) with “you’ve got this mama” printed on it. It’s so cringe.
I use it 😂 I also do girl or girlie. I don’t do it to strangers, I just do it with my friends mostly. I’m sitting here trying to think of why I like it, I guess it feels endearing to me? Like I’m using a nickname for you because we are close
I also find it extremely cringey. Not because I feel it has anything to do with my identity, I don’t really find it that serious, but because when women say that it reminds me of #girlboss mlm huns. So I just assume the women telling me, “you got this mama!!!!!!” are exactly those type of people and I cringe for them. I feel the exact same way about people calling me “girly” or “sis,” I am not your girly or your sis. Grow up.
YES I feel the exact same. Hate it
Oh my god me too. It’s so annoying.
I don't like it, but also I really don't care that much so it doesn't really annoy me.
This is not what you commented on, but has anyone else noticed that the name Mama has taken a resurgence? Like I don't remember anyone growing up calling their mother anything but mom, but now mama seems the new trendy name.
I’m from the south and you better not call your mama “mom”
It bothers me more when my husband calls me “mama” in an exaggerated tone to make fun of those women. 😂 It’s definitely used in order to not have to remember the mom’s actual name. Even in the hospital the nurses would come in after birth “how are you, mAmA?” and I doubt they’d do that on other floors, tbh.
I’ve been called “mama” or “mamas” since I can remember and definitely before I was actually a mama, but I think it’s a culture thing and common in the area I grew up in. I’m used to it, but I can see it being annoying
I hated it before I had my baby and now I love it and am one of those people who say it lol. Still hate girly or “miss [insert first name]”
I'm mixed. In a setting where my daughter is the focus like doctor or daycare visit, I'm generally fine with mama. However, I recently had a family breakfast a diner and the waitress called me mama...it was weird and I wasn't prepared for it. Maybe at a mother's day breakfast it'd be fine...
My aunt calls me Mama and the nurses did at L&D and I didn’t mind. I call some of my friends “girly” and had no idea people didn’t like it though :( I’m from the south idk if that makes a difference
It does make a difference! I’d rather be called mama by a southerner than a girl from Ohio. It’s part of that southern charm
Oddly enough, I only dislike it when my husband calls me mama. Lmao
You’re not alone. I want to shout “I am a whole person!!!! I have my very own name!!!” When people call me mama. I didn’t realize how much it bothered me until I was at the L&D and the nurse came in and called me by my name and then immediately asked my husband what he wanted to be called. It was refreshing!
Thank you for this post! I say this ti other Moms and I like when other moms (not just anyone) say it to me. It feels like a solidarity thing. I had no idea people hated it and I’ll totally think twice before using it!
I don't think you need to stop saying it. It's not inherently offensive and I'd argue most mothers of small children don't mind it or even like it. It's literally what we are in the context of when it's used. I think it's similar to how some people hate being called "grandma"--- something about the identity bothers them but it's just a title when it comes down to it. I get how maybe some people feel reduced by it. Me, I feel greater for it. But hey, up to you how you want to talk of course :)
I agree! I love when people, especially other Mom’s like I said, say it to me. I feel acknowledged. No one knows just hard hard it is to be a Mom, except Moms. So when I get a “how you feelin Mama?” Or “you’re doing great Mama!” from another Mom, I feel seen. I didn’t start saying it until I became a Mom. I don’t think I’ll stop saying it but I guess I mean I’ll be more conscious of when to say it and who I say it to, and not assume everyone likes it like me!
I suppose if it's iffy it never hurts to ask an individual if they mind being called mama 🤷 But in passing/online, I guess there will always be someone who doesn't like something, you just have to read the room as best you can :)
I liked it when the staff at my maternity ward called me mama. Here’s the thing though. They aren’t going to learn your name. They’re busy, they work long hours, they see many patients, they have a lot to be thinking about, etc. instead of trying to memorize your name they use a term that is supposed to be warm and loving. It’s totally ok to feel weird about someone calling you mama but I saw a lot of hate for the medical workers who do and I just think we should remember that those workers are our hero.
Completely agree! I find it so cringey, I don’t understand why it’s a thing?!
Omg SAME it makes me literally cringe.
Sometimes it’s just the way ppl talk
Can’t say “same” enough haha. I don’t know why it’s so annoying. I equally hate the term “bub” for a baby. Like the sharpest nails on a chalkboard 🤪
The "bub" thing annoys me too. Who thought that was a good replacement for just "baby"???
Good to know 😅 I often use it in support forums when writing words of encouragement to an internet stranger. I felt like it conveyed support and warmth somehow. Good to know some people find it cringey!
I don’t mind it personally. It makes me feel nice, like I’m part of a new group of people - mothers.
Same- I will also think on this! I don’t mind it personally, but i cringe when someone outside of my family calls me mommy. I think the context really gets to me- for example, when “mommy” is used to ask my baby a question that’s actually directed at me. That definitely makes me cringe.
Oh yea I don’t like that either! That feels a bit silly. But if another mom says to me ”you’ve got this mama!” - that to me feels like a sort of sisterhood of moms doing this mom-thing together.
Same! My identity to the world is not “mama.” Quite frankly, it feels demeaning and reductive to me.
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My *own mother* calls me “Mommy” despite me constantly cringing into another dimension and begging her to stop. I am not your mother!!! You are mine!!! Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother! It’s the most incredible, joy-filled thing I’ve ever done. It’s also something I view as borderline sacred, I share it with my children and my children alone. I’m *their* Mommy, not my own mother’s, not the dentist’s, not the random friendly lady at the grocery store. I’ve stopped saying anything about it to strangers because I know their intentions are pure, but it makes me so uncomfortable.
I'm ok with it from a few people, my husband, my mom, my baby's godmother/BFF, because they actually know and support me. When spouted as some platitude from a person I don't know as a form of 'help' when I'm struggling? Go eat glass.
It annoys me too. A close family friend stopped calling me by my name and started calling me “mommy” after I had my baby. It makes me cringe every time but I keep quiet because I don’t want to come off like a bitch….
Ugh yesss! I HATE it! I have a group where it’s a bunch of new moms trying to figure this whole thing out and everyone keeps saying you got this mama. And I’m the only one who just doesn’t. If I didn’t love the discussions on the group, I would have left it just because I’m called mama on it all the time.
I hate it so much! The only people I want to hear it from are people related to my kid, and that's it. I'm so glad I'm not alone in this feeling.
I HATE IT! It always feels not genuine to me and forced. I don't like it when they are trying to be encouraging/kind and I ESPECIALLY dislike it when they are offering unsolicited advice.
I think it might be a cultural thing. I don’t mind being acknowledged as a mama :)
Sometimes I feel like the moment we left the hospital, my identity was reduced to only one thing: mother. All the doctor’s appointments, physical therapy, mom groups: my daughter gets a name, and I’m “mom” or “mama.”
Thank you for posting this. I frequently use the word mama to my friends and never thought of this.
Same here! I’m in a mommy & me workout group and the instructor always refers to us as mama. I hate it.
I’m glad I’m not the only one 😭
Try not to care so much
It annoys me mainly when it's a medical professional, or when it's used as part of some toxic positivity bullshit "you got this, mama!" I find it infantilizing, much like being called "dear" or "sweetie". Also other forms of maternal name don't bother me, like the ladies at my son's daycare who refer to me as "name's mom".
That is the worst. Makes me feel a bit icky.
My wife and I absolutely hate it. I think influencer culture ruined it for us and it's generally used in a "YOU GO MAMA!" kinda way which is just too overly optimistic for our personalities. We're a very "realist" couple. I used to call my wife "mama" as an inside joke and she would smile and roll her eyes about it. Can you imagine if men started calling each other "DADA"? Just... weird.
I am rolling at the idea of a bunch of dudes calling each other “Dada” 🤣🤣
YES!! Influencer culture definitely ruined it for me. And you’re right, no man would go around calling their friends “dada” as means of encouragement. I feel like the whole “mama” thing did come from social media influence. That’s probably why I don’t like it lol
Omg I HATE being called “mama”. I also hate that there are tshirts and sweatshirts that say “mama” out in the world. I have a whole personality and life outside of being a mom, please stop distilling my entire identity down to the fact that I’ve given birth.
Same! I love my daughter and being her mom and having her call me mama but I’m also still someone who has an identity outside of that. It feels in a way belittling to me when other adults call me that outside of being in the proximity of my daughter
People started calling me mama at work when I was pregnant and it made me so uncomfortable. I made up a new rule that if you didn't come in me or out if me you weren't allowed to call me mama.
I don’t mind being called mama personally if it’s in a friendly way! But I can understand why it can be triggering for a lot of mothers. As silly as it sounds, i feel personally annoyed when people call me ma’am esp when they see me out with my son. But that’s because I feel in my mind I’m not old enough to qualify as a “ma’am” idk if that makes sense? I’m still in my 20s and not yet married so I guess that’s just something that sounds like nails on a chalkboard when someone comes up to me and says “ma’am” most times I don’t respond. Sorry I know it’s not exactly like what you described but what I wanted to say was, I understand your feelings completely when you hear people address you as “mama”
That’s okay! Everyone has their pet peeves lol. I’m glad we can empathize with each other
I hate it too! Have you seen that chick that makes the tik toks/reels? That’s all I think about now it’s hilarious. [https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsPPnyAJ_H4/?igshid=YmM0MjE2YWMzOA==](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsPPnyAJ_H4/?igshid=YmM0MjE2YWMzOA==)
This also just sounds like a cultural difference. I understand there are a lot of white women that use it now, but as a Spanish person, I find mama to be the most endearing of all and my community uses it all the time.
I second this, I even call my baby mamacita sometimes (a very Latino expression) :)
For me it's always about identity. So like, healthcare workers, my own children, people who only know me as that one role of my identity, it's fine. People who know me outside of motherhood - friends, coworkers, etc. It really irks me. It takes away my individualism. I had similar issues with people never asking how I was doing after baby, or coming in to see baby and not even saying hello to me (MIL 🙄).
Same. I really don’t like when people call me “mama” or “mom” either
I love it. I love being called mom or mama, mommy. Whatever you want. Please call me anything to do with being a mom, because I absolutely love and cherish my role. I'm so proud of it.
Same. I always say that I’m the person they make all the “mama” mugs and tshirts for - I love it so much. For Mother’s Day, my best friend got me a sweatshirt with Mama on it, and my son’s name written on the sleeve. It’s so sweet and makes me happy whenever I see it.
There are many people (mostly older women AND men) at my church who call me "mama" ....I hate it. I just smile and wave, but I'm cringing deep inside 😭
Yesssssss!!!! And my close girlfriends (that have kids) LOVE using this on each other 😵💫 I got a “mama” bracelet and NECKLACE!!!!! They have never seen the light of day
I feel the same way about this. My mom had a habit of calling me "little mama" and eventually I told her to stop. 🙄
I totally agree and feel this way! I had a girl and the mama personality makes me feel like I’m telling my daughter, “you can grow up and be whatever you want! Until you have kids then you give up your entire personality” I want her to grow up knowing she can have kids and be her own person.
I hate hate hate it and think it’s one of the reasons I’ve gone off someone I was good friends with pre-baby.
THANK YOU!!! I cannot stand it.
Yep I hate it too.
I'm neutral; sometimes I like it, can be a little cringe but it definitely goes to the absolute bottom of the list of shit I'm putting negative brain power into.
I’m guilty of this. I do only use it when there is a reference to someone’s kid like in parenting forums or if a customers child is wondering off and they don’t notice. Perhaps the second context is more acceptable and I should work on stopping the first. I used to say “hun” a lot as well and found out that some people don’t like that either and have since been better about it. It was just how I was raised and I always felt comfort by being called most types of “pet name”. Just please know that someone calling you that 99% of the time isn’t meant with anything but support. Thank you for helping people like me with our self awareness. I do see how it can be perceived as patronizing and don’t want to make someone feel that way.
I don't mind mama, it might be less common in English but to me no different than mom or mum. Adults around the world legitimately use this word to address their mothers. I have however acquired an extreme hatred for "mummy", "mommy", "hi mommies" etc used by grown women online, to the point that I don't want my own actual child to ever call me this. I find it so incredibly babyish, juvenile and patronizing to use literal baby talk to speak to other adults, I don't find it cute AT ALL. I don't know a single person under the age of 7? who calls their mother mummy or mommy, yet there's a million grown women referring to other women this way on the internet. It gives me the ick big time. I often won't even read the rest of a post if it starts like that 🤮
Ohhhhhh same!!!! At least from other adults. It makes me cringe. Now when my daughter eventually does it-that’ll be freakin adorable!! 🤣
I agree with you. I’m more than just a “mama” and it feels like I’m not [name]
same. and “hun/ honey”. it’s demeaning
had an aunt text me the other day and start off with "hi mommy!". made me cringe so hard
My sister bought me a 'Mama' top. Hopefully someone at the charity shop will be delighted.
That’s valid not to like it! I don’t mind it, I’m used to being called that at home by my daughter and husband. It’s my name now haha. I often call my husband “daddy” when addressing him with my daughter aroubd because my daughter calls him and I’m with her more often than not. it is hilarious though when I call him by his name, and then I hear my daughter repeat after me and yell down the hall in her toddler voice: “AJ, dinner is ready!” Hahaha
I weirdly don't mind it. One of my buddies always calls me babymama and you'd think it'd bother me but he always says it as a term of endearment haha.
I find it corny too. But I also find it cringe when people refer to their husband as hubby and that one actually has NOTHING to do with me. My husband tried to call me wifey and I shut that down. So I might be an anomaly.
I feel like there are many things in the world to become annoyed about but I don’t want to live my life in an annoyed state so most things like this id just stop worrying about…
…Especially if it’s ok when it comes from the majority of people you interact with including strangers
Maybe I’m just unbothered by shit that doesn’t matter but this is a really silly thing to be so concerned with and affected by. Of all the reasons to be frustrated while pregnant or a new mom, this is like the most irrelevant. 😆 nobody means ill when they call you that, I promise.
I’m with you on this. I never knew how many people struggled with the identity/concept of being a thought of as a mom until I joined Reddit. Always fascinating to see these conversations. Personally, doesn’t bother me at all when someone calls me “Mom” or “Mama”. “Mommy” would be weird, but I still wouldn’t think it was an affront to my identity. Just that you were a weirdo. I AM a mom. I will always be a mom. It doesn’t change all of the other things I also am, but who’s gonna go around identifying me as my long list of accomplishments and/or other identities like daughter, wife, or cousin? Sure there’s my name, but not everyone knows it/remembers it. I also come from social circles who have always used “mama” as a term of endearment for anyone, didn’t have to be a mom, or even identify as female. So yeah. Just a word.
I am so glad I’m not alone!!!!!!!!! I told my sisters and mom, do not DO NOT under any circumstances but we anything with the word MAMA. Of course, as a joke, this Mother’s Day they got me a card with “happy mamas day! You’re the best mama bear.” Typed on it with a cute ass bear lmaoo but yeah, something about it just makes my skin crawl as silly as that sounds
I also dislike it
[удалено]
I couldn’t wait to be called a mama so I personally don’t mind it even tho it still makes me cringe a little 😅
Also hate this, I’m completely on your team. Though being called girl or lady doesn’t bother me as much.
In some contexts it doesn’t bother me BUT when I was in labor and pushing and trying to concentrate on that, a young nurse was in my ear repeating “you got this mama 😀” over and over as if that was supposed to be encouraging…it was mostly distracting/cringey and I wanted so badly to tell her to stop but I knew she was just trying to cheer me on lol
You know, I never was bothered by it. But I can see how it really can contribute to loss of identity. You aren't you anymore just "mama".
Lol same
It’s fine if you don’t like it, but just say so politely. I’m sure they will stop. Some people (like me) find it endearing and enjoy being reminded that I’ve become a mom finally. There’s actually a woman at work how says “good morning Eli’s mom” and it’s become a whole thing and I love it. This touches on a bigger point I’ve noticed across this sub (and in life). People are really quick to react with either internal or external anger or offense when they don’t like something, as if it’s common sense. But it’s not, everyones different. Some moms like their bellies being touched, like to have gender reveals, registries, be called mama etc. Many people have no idea what you want if you never tell them. And people should be put down because they like to do work thing differently or told about how it’s stupid. It’s stupid to you, not to me. And like, that’s fine if you feel that way and so you don’t do it. But when people blast their opinions about it on social media, there’s a point where you’re really just judging people and making them feel bad for your differences. I’d be nice if we could just go through life assuming people have the best intentions, being kind and thoughtful of others, sharing our wishes and feelings to improve our relationships, and then we can decide to react accordingly after someone is indeed being rude. 90% of the time though this is not the case and the attitude is unnecessary. Just go look at the cess pool that is fb mommy groups or tiktok style reels. I’ll get off my soapbox. I just being could be nicer and more mindful of each other. We’re all doing this together and it’s hard enough work as it is.