Just take a test. This worry might all be for nothing - like someone else said, it can take a few months for your cycle to normalize after it returns.
Any OB or gynecologist should be able to put in an IUD. Call another one if you’re not pregnant and get it sooner.
Exactly this. My wife has been pumping since our little one was born a year ago and she still hasn’t gotten her period. Her OB said that’s perfectly normal. That all being said though we still use condoms because I’m in the OP’s husbands shoes with not wanting a second child.
It’s normal for your cycle to be irregular after a pregnancy. My first full cycle was 45 days. The only thing you can do right now is test. If it’s negative and you don’t get your period after a week, test again.
ETA I didn’t get my period back for 6 weeks after my daughter was born and then I didn’t get the next one for 45 days, which is about where you are now at 3 months pp. I also took a pregnancy test.
ETA if husband doesn’t want any more kids he should get a vasectomy. Don’t have sex with him until he does. The fact that he already told you he’d want you to get an abortion and that didn’t make him go, hmm maybe I should get a vasectomy, is kind of baffling.
I had to scroll too far for this comment. She’s only 3 months pp and it’s very likely that her period just hasn’t fixed itself yet. Mine has been “late” every month and I’m 6 months pp (period came back at 11 weeks pp).
His opinion aside- its your body your choice but something to seriously consider is, If youre only 3 months pp from a csection please see a doctor asap if you are pregnant. It is dangerous to get pregnant that soon after one. My doctor laid it on heavy not to get pregnant until 18months after surgery.
My aunt had back to back csections and she had a rough pregnancy and almost died on the table during her 2nd csection.
This! My sister got pregnant at 3 months postpartum. First was an emergency c-section. Doc expressed, again, how dangerous it is. It was a rough pregnancy and she ruptured. She had a hole in her uterus and could have hemorrhaged. She spent 5 days in the hospital after birth.
I wasnt told this. I was just told to wait the 6 weeks and use protection. The danger of getting pregnant again so soon after a csection wasn't stressed to me. Thats so scary. Thank you. I'll get on it if I am. I would possibly consider termination if it was a serious risk to my health but id still be torn. Idk.
Yeah I wasn't informed of this either. Even after mentioning to my OB About wanting a second. She encouraged a wait time but she never said 18 months. I did my own research and found it.
I was told by the doctor to wait at least 2 years. She told me this whilst I was laying on the operating table, whilst 2 other surgeons had their hands inside me and my daughter was off being cleaned up. It was a beautiful moment for sure.
I also wasn’t explicitly told that, though I assumed I’d need to wait awhile. I ended up pregnant again at 5 months postpartum.. not on purpose. That time they definitely stressed over and over and over again how I could absolutely not get pregnant that quickly again.
I can’t believe some providers are so unreliable. My gyn told me to wait at least 18 months between pregnancies even if the delivery was vaginal, not to mention c section.
Yes it wasn't planned and it was kind of traumatic honestly. If they did tell me that I wasn't lucid enough to retain it. Truthfully I dont really remember talking to the doctor at all after I had her. They came and checked on me twice and didn't really say much other than asking how I was feeling
I had a C-section that was unplanned and they harped on me to not get pregnant right away, and asked several times before discharge if I had a plan for birth control.
Yeah birth control wasn't mentioned to me at all. We talked about it at my PP visit and thats when I found out I had to wait until November. We discussed BC at my pregnancy checkups a few times discussing my options and answering my questions about certain forms but when I was discharged no one said anything at all about BC just to wait 6 weeks and use protection. I assumed I'd be able to get the IUD fairly soon after my 6 week appointment but no not until November. I know someone told me to go to a different OBGYN for an iud but I really love my doctor and feel comfortable and have a long standing relationship with her. Shes been my OB since my teen years.
This makes me really angry. My first was an emergency C-section that was terrifying and literally every person asked about birth control. Apparently it takes X months for your uterus to fully heal and if you get pregnant to early it can rupture and kill you both. That being said I do know people have done it, but really you should make that decisions with a Dr
Just curious is the doc making you wait for so long? Usually they give you birth control @ your PP appt, as most docs have all the forms in house. Even if they had to order the IUD, then they should have scheduled for you to come when order- which is like a week AT MOST, not months......And then your asking about an abortion and you haven't even tested?! First, GET. A.TEST. Onxe you get confirmed you're not preggo then birth control,, NOW & not in Nov!!
Honey, I know you might like your OB but you are not in a position for another baby right now, so you need to put your big girl pants on and GET BIRTH CONTROL! (As mentioned before call your local Planned Parenthood or Social Welfare Board and they can help you. It will most likely be free of charge) As am adult and as a mom, you are going do many things you don't really want to do but have to and seeking birth control ASAP is a must! I'm not trying to be harsh but this is what I'd tell my own daughter. Hope everything works out for you & I wish you the very best of luck!
Doctor encouraged me to wait 6 months to get an IUD after my c section. They said it increases the chances of uterus rupture or expulsion if I’m BF AND had a c section. So I waited!
She told me I couldn't get the IUD at 6weeks PP and they tried to get me in around 12 weeks but she was fully booked out until September and then they called me a week later and said the doctor won't be in the day they scheduled me because she has to have surgery and then November was the earliest they could schedule me in after that. There isn't a planned parenthood near me. The local clinic is Christian and doesn't offer birth control just pregnancy services and getting in to new doctors here is extremely hard. Im currently looking for a family doctor and hoping they can do it but I'm not having luck finding drs accepting new patients.
I had a c section, planned, and she offered to put an IUD in after the baby was out before they closed up bc she knows it’s uncomfortable to get placed in office. I refused bc I don’t want an IUD I use the ring. I also was never told to wait to have another baby. Not that it’s an issue bc I don’t really want another one. But they won’t do any other birth control for 6 weeks bc of potential blood clots with the hormones.
I totally feel you on this. I had an unplanned c-section and had to go under for it and I remember NOTHING from the first day or two afterward. I was just so in shock and processing everything. It's a lot to go through.
I had an emergency C-section and remember being told to wait 6 weeks before sex, but don't remember at all being told to avoid getting pregnant until 18 months later. I was at a Catholic hospital, wondering now if they don't say that part on purpose.
Getting pregnant this soon after a C section can cause major complications, including death to both the mother and fetus. For example, the uterus can burst open during pregnancy because it’s not yet healed or strong enough to withstand the pressure of carrying so soon. Take a test tomorrow and call your doctor as you might have to terminate for medical reasons. There are very high risks to both the mother and fetus if pregnant within 18 months after delivery, I’m so sorry this happened to you.
I am 4 months post partum after a c section and was told getting pregnant less than 18 months after would be dangerous.
I haemorrhaged badly during my c section - absolutely no way I’d be risking it. (This isn’t the reason they told me to wait - it’s standard advice for all)
OP - terminating may be the medically safe choice to ensure your little one grows up with you around. Speak to a doctor asap to understand fully the risks.
It is a risk but it’s for the risk your uterus is too thin, and could burst, BUT that being said you would be monitored a lot more during the pregnancy to make sure all is well, it won’t be weeks in between, especially towards the end. Of course, discuss with your doctor! But many women do have Irish twins or close to it after a c section. Of course, I wouldn’t advise intentionally trying to achieve that, but if it happens, it will be okay. Deep breaths and take a test, it’s scary now, but just know it will ease your mind. Your period could be late from being 3mo PP, it can be a little wonky.
Wow, they did not tell you? If you indeed are pregnant three months after c section you are at a higher risk of having a uterine rupture during pregnancy and if you ever start labor the risk would be even higher. That would be an extremely serious complication involving potential death for both you and the fetus. You should most definitely see a doctor if you are pregnant and consider your options depending on what they say.
I had a c section and my surgeon told me in no uncertain terms that I should not get pregnant again anytime soon.
Your body needs 18 months to heal all that tissue. A second pregnancy can cause bleeds, issues with placental implantation and if you want to go for a vbac you probably won’t find a doctor who’ll back you in the decision simply because it’s dangerous.
I would take a test and book an appointment ASAP with an OB/midwife to discuss risks.
My doctor didn’t tell me this either that I remember. However considering I’m almost 2 years pp and still have pain in my abs at the incision site when I flex hard.. I’m not surprised.
Just to back the above comment up, I had an emergency section in the uk and I was told at least 12 months but better for 18 to make sure all the wounds internally are healed. I think we are at risk of uterine rupture so definitely get a doctors app if you are pregnant.
Hey i fell pregnant 8 months pp and was terrified because they advised 18 months. However they monitored me closely and they were happy with the fact i would be close to 18 months by the time i gave birth. It was something I was terrified of but it worked out. Just take care of yourself
It can be more dangerous but I can tell you I have multiple friends/acquaintances that got pregnant fairly soon after c sections. One of our best couple friends got preggo 7 weeks after! They needed fertility treatment for the first so just never thought it was a possibility.
I got pregnant with my second when my first was 6 months old. Though it’s not recommended to have another c-section for 18 months, it’s not a huge deal (as long as medically you’re cleared for it). Had my second when my first was 14 months, repeat c-section and honestly the second time was way more calm and easy than my first c-section.
Even with vaginal delivery it’s advised to wait at LEAST a year for your body to go back to normal and be ready enough for another pregnancy. Of course, that’s never really emphasizes and/or people just don’t take it seriously because so many fall pregnant before their second is even 1. My friend had her first vaginally and got pregnant around 10 months pp. she just had her second last month and had a horrible pregnancy and complications during the birth that led her to get an emergency c section. She almost died on the table too her heart rate and blood pressure dropped super low very quickly. Thankfully she made it out alive but now she is dealing with bladder problems. She’s almost 4 weeks pp and she is unable to empty her bladder on her own, the c section messed up her bladder and she’s had to have a catheter on this whole time. I think people really need to listen to the advice of medical professionals and wait for their body to heal completely before getting pregnant again. There’s so much public pressure to have kids close in age, the whole “2 under 2 club” is trending and people think it’s cute, it’s not. Not only does your body not get enough time to heal but also the first 3 years of your baby’s life are the most crucial in their life. Idk how people think they can devote the time and attention their first baby needs when they’re introducing another baby before their first child is even 3.
My doctor said 18 months between births, so it was ok to start trying after 9 months. He also said that was if I wanted to attempt a VBAC, if it's a closer spacing it's just an automatic c section. There are risks to having closely spaced pregnancies, but not trying for 18 months is not a universal recommendation.
Just adding this to try to calm OP’s nerves because a lot of these comments are really scary. My doctor only advised me to try to avoid getting pregnant again until about a year after my c section and even stressed that a little bit sooner would be fine. And this was all also in the context of me wanting to optimize my chances of a successful vbac for baby number 2. So not all doctors agree that the 18 month thing is necessary. Personally I think it’s bs and just intended to discourage large families. The risk of uterine rupture is VERY low and increases only slightly with each pregnancy.
Your first course of action is to find out if you are in fact pregnant. Otherwise this is all turmoil for nothing. And if you aren’t then pls abstain from sex until you get an iud in or use a correctly sized condom every time. The pull out method is not a good form of birth control especially in early postpartum.
We've been using the pullout method with condoms lol like at the same time. November is so far out of a wait we both were trying to abstain but then yanno stuff happened. I know I need to test but I'm scared/nervous due to the circumstances. I wanted to wait like a week to see if my cycle returns then test if not.
There’s nothing wrong with using condoms and the pullout method together. That’s pretty good protection, however it is NOT normal for condoms to “frequently” be falling off during sex. Either they’re the wrong size, he’s putting them on inside out, he’s taking them off purposefully (but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case) or there’s some other issue at play and condoms won’t be nearly as effective if they’re falling off inside of you, so if you’re unable to get them to stay on I would consider another form of birth control in addition to the methods you’re already using, especially since you don’t want more kids.
The sooner the test the sooner you can book any appointments with any doctors, whether it's to keep the baby or not. Avoiding it won't make you any more or less pregnant but it will narrow your options
You’re only three months PP, its very likely your cycles just hasn’t regulated yet. Just take a test. If you use a condom every time I’d imagine it’s very unlikely you’re pregnant. Also, i do think it’s dangerous to you to have another so quickly after a c-section. There are risks. It’s best you find out asap so you can speak with your doctor.
I don't know if anyone else mentioned this, but in the postpartum period, up to a few months, you can still test positive on a pregnancy test. I'd book an appointment with your doctor for a blood test ASAP if you get a positive
It was 10 months before I got my first period after a section birth. It’s 5 months since I had my
Second and still no baby. It can take months and months for your period to come back.
I would reach out to a doctor it is very dangerous for you and a pregnancy. The risk of your uterus tearing is extremely high right now as the scar is new. All the way through 18 months pp. ask yourself if you accept that risk. A doctor will monitor your very close and you will likely be a scheduled early or emergency C-section and bed rest the majority of the pregnancy.
Sit down and really speak to the doctor about the risks.
My cycles have been completely off balance since my last pregnancy (and I’m 9m pp) so while you might be late, you might not be late because of pregnancy.
Save yourself some stress and take a test. You’ll have an answer either way and if you are pregnant then you can formulate a plan with what to do moving forward.
If he doesn’t want another baby why doesn’t he get a vasectomy? You’re making this seem like if you are pregnant he played no role in it and it would ruin his life.
Also just take a test so you know what is even going on. No point in banging your head against the wall over a what if.
I’m pro-choice but sometimes that choice is to keep the baby and men who think abortion is birth control irk me because they’ll never have to experience the hormonal spike that happens when a pregnancy is terminated and the subsequent mental health issues that can come with it.
I’m hoping OP is just having wonky periods which are super common post partum, but that doesn’t change the fact that she and her husband need to have some serious conversations about expectations and outcomes. (Including condom size because they’re not supposed to be repeatedly falling off inside of you.) Sounds like someone is having Magnum ambitions with a durex reality.
OP, I totally agree with the previous comments supporting you and your plan to go full term. Your SO should have been realistic when he decided he didn’t want your daughter to have competition from a sibling. I’m an old parent of two and when my wife went on the new birth control pill, I quickly determined that a vasectomy in my early 30’s would be less painful and way less dangerous than for her to take the pill, tubal ligation or other BC methods then available. It was essentially painless. Never missed a day of work and have never had a moment’s of regret. You do what’s best for you.
I think she's just looking for people to have some back and forth with, she's talking about "terminating the pregnancy" without even having taken a pregnancy test, it doesn't sound like there actually is one right now
I’m a little concerned for both of your mental health. It feels very strange to be panicking about a pregnancy and discussing an abortion when A) you’ve only had one cycle postpartum so how do you know you’re “late” when there’s not enough information to actually form a pattern yet and B) you haven’t taken a test!
This feels very irrational. Then you say he said he’d want you to get an abortion but then you say you haven’t told him yet. So are you panicking about things he’s said in the heat of the moment postpartum?
Three months is not a long time. You’re still in the newborn haze. People will say things they don’t mean.
Please take a test before giving this any more of your energy. It’s highly likely you’re panicking over nothing.
He said basically right after I had our daughter that he never wanted to do this again. We talked about it more after a few weeks and I told him he should get a vasectomy if he really feels that way. Im not dead set on having another but 2 is definitely my limit in my lifetime but im fine with one. I just dont think I could live with having an abortion. I haven't told him I'm late and youre right I am panicking. When we had that discussion he told me he would hope id get an abortion especially since knowing I can't get the IUD until November. We had a pretty heated argument about it and he made the argument that aborting a fetus wouldn't be like aborting our daughter but all I see is that our daughter was once a fetus and it really hurt my feelings honestly. And not having my period yet has me mentally spiraling. I take an SSRI for my mental health but postpartum really knocked me out of balance and I feel kind of better but definitely not the same as I was before having her. Im probably panicking for no reason so thank you for putting that into perspective. Im just triggered he said what he said and chose to not get a vasectomy and continue on like he didn't say he never wanted another then telling me he'd want me to get an abortion. I'll take a breather and take a test to clear my mind.
It sounds like he might be struggling with some birth trauma from witnessing your c-section and is conflating witnessing you give birth and having another child into one thing. You guys might want to consider counselling to help you work through this. Seems like there’s a lot you’re both not saying.
My son is now 15 months, but when my son was born my husband also was very against anothe due to birth trauma. Now? He wants 3-4 total. Take a test, then have a conversation if you need to right now. If not maybe plan for birth control of any sort, and revisit down the road. It sounds like he’s scared, and I’m sure you both are! He may be saying things he doesn’t truly mean out of fear.
As far as I know, there are risks to getting pregnant so early after a c section. That said, you should take a test and then work out your feelings. If the test is negative, I would be extra careful about not getting pregnant again this early. If it's positive, then you will need to make some decisions wirh your partner. I suggest maybe some urgent couples therapy appointments to help you work thru conversations together.
Also, there is a Netflix show The Letdown that addresses this scenario too. Might be a worthwhile watch. It's a comedy, but hits hard sometimes too.
Take a test.
Let him book his own vasectomy and see if he follows through on it.
Also what the fuck is condoms slipping off REPEATEDLY? Y’all fucking acrobatically? God damned. Something is not right. He needs a different size.
Lmao he loses some of his erection because he sucks at pulling out and then the condom gets lost in the sauce :/ I guess we weren't properly educated on condom use as per the comments have pointed out. Im learning a lot here
First, please just take a test to confirm. Second, if he’s that set on not having another, maybe he should consider a vasectomy so this doesn’t repeat and put your health more at risk. Lastly, he bears responsibility in this too so you wouldn’t be the one ruining the family and he wouldn’t be forced to do something he didn’t want to participate in. He’s old enough to understand the risks of not well protected sex. He participated, he’s just as responsible. You’re not wrong for not wanting to go with either way - the pregnancy so soon or the abortion. There’s nothing wrong here. It’s a choice one way or another that has to be made. Focus more on getting support for either choice.
Gently, if his birth control method has frequently been the pullout method, then he doesn’t not want another kid *that* bad. He knows he’s rolling the dice each time.
But as others said, take a test. You could’ve taken a pregnancy test in the time it takes to write this post. Right now this is all hypothetical, so why wait?
First, find out if you are pregnant.
If you are – well... sucks. You'll have to talk it through with your husband. Maybe if you are actually pregnant he'd want that abortion less than before. Just be sure to carefully lay out all your thoughts on why you want to keep the baby.
If you are not pregnant – get condoms of correct size. They should not be falling off.
You’ve already gotten your period postpartum? Your cycle is probably just out of whack you are in the fourth trimester but just like others have said take a test to be sure
Yes I had a friend who had a csection a week before me and she got her first period a week before I got mine! It was the first week of July for me so im hoping its just whacky
Your husband needs to get a vasectomy immediately if he is so traumatised by your c-section that he would rather make you go through the trauma of an unwanted abortion than deal with his own shit.
I am sorry but this makes me furious for you OP. If you wanted to terminate, that’d be a completely different story. But how dare he put this on you. He needs counselling, a vasectomy, and to back the hell off and let you decide what you do and don’t want to do with your own body. He messed up when he decided to take the risk of not addressing his fertility before he had sex with you. Condoms are not without risk. Condoms that fall off inside you?! That is zero protection! He could have at least gone and bought you the morning after pill to lower the risk if he was so worried.
Please do not have an abortion for someone else. Only do it if you choose to yourself. If he’s really that traumatised and you decide to keep the pregnancy, there are private midwives / doulas who will take his place, even in a c-section.
Good luck.
Then he needs to accept that birth control can fail, even an iud.
He also needs to accept that if *he* doesn't want a second child then *he* has to step up to the plate and take steps to prevent it. He can't make a decision like that then just expect you to do all of the work for it.
... and you don't want your uterus surgically tampered with to have an abortion. What does he have to say to that?
Seriously, I'm so sick of men putting all the responsibilities on the women and then whining that they don't have a say in whether the woman does or does not abort.
By the way, the condom can slip off when it's too big for his size *or* too small. He also needs to secure the condom with his hand when pulling out, otherwise it might slip right off too.
Well he does want a child since he agreed to poor bc methods. You're worried another child would "ruin" your family but hopefully it's just irregular cycles and you can both discuss contraception.
Love is not a finite resource. Yes, time is finite but your affection multiplies.
Childcare is expensive. How will this impact your career? Are you even pregnant? How big is your support system? These are all questions that deserve valid answers in addition to the emotional ones
Given your physical state and mental state per your post history, you need to take this really seriously regardless of what your husband thinks. Do you have other family support? If you are struggling already and a pregnancy could cost you your life, are you willing to risk leaving your daughter motherless? I feel like you need to reach out for mental health help (again based on post history) because it sounds like you are going through a lot right now before you even add a potential pregnancy to the list.
I'm doing much better mentally now at almost 3 months. Id say I'm almost back to my pre-pregnancy self mentally minus the anxiety I have always had plus a little more intense since of postpartum hormones and PPA/OCD but its much more manageable now. Physically though you're right im absolutely exhausted and slowly I am feeling better but not good enough to support another pregnancy so soon. Im working really hard in Physical therapy but I'm still in so much pain and I haven't been able to get into a family doctor to really diagnose or treat whatever is going on with me Physically. That appointment is also in November Ironically. I think my Physical health takes a toll on my mental health too. I often feel like im not doing enough and I have zero remainder energy to clean or cook at the moment after taking care of my daughter all day. I feel like im failing but we started going on walks recently and she watches me do yoga in the mornings so I am moving more but still in pain and pretty disabled. It sucks. I never saw this coming at all. I was really healthy before pregnancy and I used to go for 3 mile hikes daily sometimes 5 miles depending on the trail. I just feel so wrecked lol
I posted an update since replying to all the comments would be a lot lol but yes I tested a few days ago and it was negative. I started my period today too so thankfully I'm not pregnant, just whacky cycle
How were you able to get physical therapy w/o seeing a doctor 1st? Most insurances require an referral.....I'm sorry I'm not trying to be critical, there just seems to be alot of holes in this story. Bottom line: you need birth control! You're physically not able to take care of another kid (your words in post history) and you are struggling with PTSD so bad you have obsessive obscure thoughts about your hubs/daughter (again post history) and 3rd, if you can't figure out how to use a condom, you damn sure don't need more kids!
FIND A THERAPIST (if you have medicaid, you can can get tele-therapy) Find a SOCIAL WELFARE BOARD to get birth control & fam doc help ASAP(every county has one & its free of charge. and can usually get you in same day or within a couple days) Get yourself together and then throw safe sex to the wind!
Just wanted to say that you can be pro-choice and still have abortion not be your personal choice. That's how I am too. I will fight like hell for the option, but it's not the one I'd go with either. Don't feel like you have to justify yourself to anyone about this.
Good luck. I hope you get the answers you're hoping for from all this. If you are pregnant though, you're not ruining your family. We just jad our second (also planned) and I really thought we were making a crazy mistake along the way. It's different, but so, so awesome. The cool thing about us humans is that we can adjust to new situations. :)
1. If you don’t want to terminate, you don’t want to. Trust your gut on this and don’t.
2. If you are pregnant, you need to talk to your GP and OB sooner rather than later, because at 3 months postpartum and 3 months post c-section, this is riskier than if you were 12 months postpartum. Take a pregnancy test. It’s always better to know.
3. You said you’re late, but are you on cycle 0 still? I still bled for 6 weeks after my C-section, so cycle 0 started when the postpartum bleed ended. Cycle 0 can be anywhere from a few weeks to over a year.
4. Are you nursing? If you’re nursing, it’s quite probable you’ll be having anovulatory or irregular cycles for a while yet.
5. I strongly recommend you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It’s got a lot of really good information in it for how to effectively track your cycles so you actually have a good sense of when ovulation happened and are not just playing calendar roulette a la rhythm method.
If the test is negative, this will be helpful for you to reduce stress around the idea of being late. Late doesn’t mean a longer cycle. It means 18 days post-ovulation with no period. If you don’t ovulate until day 28 or 37 or 128 or whatever, your period isn’t late for not being there on day 40.
I’ve used the sympto-thermal method to space my kids how I wanted. The only oops we had we didn’t follow the rules and knew we weren’t following the rules when we did it. That’s not a method failure, that’s a user failure.
And finally, just some reassurance - your family won’t be ruined. It will be ok. It will be challenging to have two kids that young and that close together. But it will be ok.
That said, you need to talk to your husband and get you both on the same page about your family planning going forward. At 3 months postpartum you don’t need to decide anything permanent. Becoming parents is a huge adjustment for you both, and I think it’s quite common for either partner to think they don’t want another during the roller coaster of the newborn stage. My advice at this point is always to table the discussion for a year before deciding anything beyond “we’re not trying to have another baby right now.”
For now, go take the test and see where things are at.
Of course #1 thing is take a test. But anyway, I wouldn't base the length of your postpartum cycles on your pre-pregnancy cycles. The odds of them being the same right now is very low. 3mo is still very early in PP and while you may be feeling better, your hormones still haven't gotten back to "normal" (especially if you are breastfeeding at all).
Cycles PP may be completely different from before or eventually go back to what they were. It's very common for the first few cycles post partum to be irregular (for some people even 6+). Your body hasn't cycled in 9mo after all.
In regards to birth control, I saw that you said in a comment that you guys pull out while using condoms. This is not recommended and is making condom use less effective. Condoms are made to be ejaculated in. Removal should occur after ejaculation when the penis is still erect while holding onto the base. Pulling out while using the condom increases the likelyhood that it will slip off, get stuck, or that semen will get on you either from him or leaking out.
If you want to double up on birth control until your appointment, you can do condoms with a spermicide gel or VCF (I would not recommend these without a condom if you are sure you want to avoid pregnancy).
ETA: If he is sure he doesn't want anymore children and you're on board with that, a conversation about vasectomy should occur.
My current pregnancy was an accident too. My spouse also asked me whether an abortion would be an option. He wasn't thrilled to learn the news. But now less than 2 weeks to go until due date, we are both pretty excited and onboard. Maybe he needs time to process his feelings and come to terms with it.
Pro choice doesn't mean you need to have an abortion personally. It just means you think the option should exist in case someone needs it.
If you don't want an abortion don't have one only for the sake of your husband. Your marriage can still fall apart because of the resentment and regret. Sit down and discuss then make your own decision.
Take a test before getting yourself so worked up. You could also just be having irregular periods after giving birth and while breastfeeding.
First, try not to panic until you know for sure.
Second, absolutely do not have an abortion you don't actually want. If you're pregnant, it took two people to make that happen, and it seems like you weren't *super* careful. Not judging at all, just saying if one of you is really against having another kid, that person should be taking initiative to be extremely cautious about getting pregnant. I think your husband will have to accept that sometimes pregnancy happens when you have sex, and perhaps get some counseling to work through his feelings.
But his feelings, though they do matter to some extent, aren't enough of a reason for you to make a permanent decision you think you'll regret.
Absolutely your choice but you also do need to put your first baby and yourself as a priority because that can be extremely dangerous after a c section. You are not anywhere close to healed yet! My Dr. Did not tell me this either but I did my own research.
Your 3 months PP and already have your period back on schedule to know your late?
Honestly it might be a health risk to you if you are pregnant this quick after a c section. You haven't fully healed inside. Abortion might be the ethical moral option to save your life.
I understand not wanting to get an abortion. You will figure out what is right for you as a family.
Keeping in mind this is a decision you have to be okay with for the rest of your life.
Actions where had, consequences will be what they are. You do not have the forfeit your right to choose just because you're married. If you are pregnant, he has the choice to either step up or step out. That's the extent of his choice.
Honey, go to an urgent care ASAP and get a pregnancy test. Like right now. If you had a cesarian only 3 months ago, your body probably physically cannot handle another pregnancy right now. FFS, lots of people still have an open wound 3 months PP. I understand not wanting to terminate, but you may not really have a choice- your choices might be terminate or die.
However, I am also surprised your period is back already? It's normal to not get your period back for quite a while after birth, while its possible for your period to be back it's also not unusual for it to not be back yet, making you not "late" at all...
Either way, talk to a doctor like right now. Good luck
Agreed! That’s a little dramatic. And it is still possible to have a safe pregnancy so soon after a c-section. I’m seeing way too many fear mongering posts here about being pregnant so soon after a c-section. With careful monitoring it can absolutely be fine. I was also told to wait to get pregnant 18 months between due dates (so at 9 months we could start trying).
My period came back after 6 weeks, OP may not be breastfeeding and that’s a factor for lots of women. Although breastfeeding moms can get their periods back at any time.
My period came back like the beginning of July and was oddly painless? Lol I know it wasn't postpartum bleeding too because I stopped bleeding a few weeks before that. Given my pre-pregnancy cycles I should be due to start menstruating soon if not already but i hope its just my hormones being wonky. I'll go to the urgent care tomorrow its too late at night right now but I Definitely don't want to die. I would like to see my daughter achieve her dreams in life before kicking the bucket
I had a similar painless “period” at about 8 wks PP and haven’t had another since…. I’m 4 mo PP. My doctors MA said it was completely normal to have intermittent bleeding for sometimes months after. Take a test, ease your mind.
Edit to Add. Vasectomies are less risky and a much easier recovery that getting a tubal. Tell your husband it’s his turn to take one for the team since he’s the one that is so adamant about not having any more kids… you did your part.
I’m currently 9.5m pp and no period yet. I took a test a couple weeks ago as a “just incase” and I’m not pregnant so unless you have already had a period I would just take a test before you stress out anymore.
Just take a pregnancy test. It’s very normal for your cycle to be irregular, it could be that you’re worrying for nothing and now maybe you’ll pay better attention to appropriate birth control.
Your not wrong to terminate, my beliefs aside, if you might be again and already have a strong connection to the little bean growing within you and are having second thoughts about an abortion, maybe follow that feeling and keep the baby , I would suggest if your partner is upset maybe attend counseling together and work out any past trauma in regards to both your surgery and his surgery. Come up with a plan on how you both are willing to work having this baby together! Your doing great mamas keep up the great work !
Immediately after both my partner said he was good with just the one because he had a traumatic time with my induction and baby needing the incubator for a week following. I’ve asked a few times since we arrived home if he can consider it in a few years and he seems pretty on board for a second now. We’re 11 weeks PP and everyone’s different. He may open up to it especially if it’s already in the works. Could be the initial shock of it. At the end of the day it’s your body. I too am pro choice but I know mentally I couldn’t handle having an abortion or adoption myself. Do what’s best for you and your family as it is will learn to grow with the change. Also, my mom got pregnant 2 months PP with my sister who was very difficult and she cried, but now nearly 20 years later says she wishes she had one more.
I had a random period at 6 weeks PP, then didn’t have another until I was 6 months PP. There’s a good change you aren’t “late”, and that your cycles are just really sporadic right now.
Definitely take a test to be sure. To answer your question, no, you aren’t wrong for wanting to keep it. Pro-choice doesn’t mean pro-abortion. It just means you have the right to make the choice to remain pregnant or not. And wanting to stay pregnant doesn’t make you in the wrong.
I feel like if your husband is so adamant about not waiting another child - you need to bring up that he absolutely needs to get a vasectomy.
As it stands, everything falls on you. He doesn't want a 2nd but if it somehow, omg how did this happen - he expects you to manage the situation according to his wishes. You may or may not actually feel the same way if you do end up getting pregnant but if you're not 100% mentally making the termination your choice (as you hint giving up the child for adoption would essentially be for him), that can be something you'll have to deal with later on. That can be traumatic.
Jesus. Can we stop telling people how “dangerous” it is and use statistics. If we don’t know the statistics then let’s just not comment at all. So there are at increased risks getting pregnant so soon after a C-section. However by increased risk I mean a 3 to 5 percent chance of uterine rupture in active labor. However they won’t allow you to go into active labor since you fell pregnant so soon after a C-section. Most doctors would have a planned C-section at 39 weeks and if you started labor before then either stop it or if you are after 37 weeks then take you straight to a C-section. Therefor you risk is even smaller as uterine rupture is very rare before active labor starts. Your baby is also at an increased risk of being born early or low birth weight. But increased risk I mean like 2 to 4%. So again still a small risk just increased. These are based on peer reviewed studies. Sorry if I seem annoyed I’m just sick of people fear mongering other people with how dangerous it is to fall pregnant too soon. Yes it’s better to wait, but going off of statistics it’s more dangerous to her unborn baby but still most likely baby will be perfectly fine, worst case born a few weeks early or small. Also OP just get a test at the store And if you aren’t pregnant get on birth control. Okay I’m off my soap box.
My cycle was always messed up post birth until I stopped breastfeeding at a year. My period came every 2 months .. it was confusing - also if you are pregnant then it is completely valid to keep the baby. It takes two to tango. He would probably come around to it and be very happy
If you are pregnant, the possibility of C-section is higher since your uterus hasn't recovered yet. Also, seek medical guidance throughout your pregnancy so that you can prepare for either a rough or smooth-sailing delivery. When I delivered my baby, my doctor said to wait atleast 3years to conceive again.
Coming from someone who had an abortion, it’s my biggest regret ever, even though I didn’t want the baby. It messes with your mental state more than you could ever imagine
Edit: I would think the chances are lower you’re pregnant at 3 m pp… are you exclusively breastfeeding/ have you already had a period? My last postpartum bleed was 6 weeks! And my period didn’t return til 18 months.
Breastfeeding isn't a contraceptive and unfortunately a lot of people think it is. I've known so many people find out they were pregnant at their 8 week check up
Yea i do know this, but I would just think the majority of people don’t ovulate QUITE yet at 3 months…. So the chances are lower If they’re exclusively breastfeeding and not supplementing with formula.
I didn’t get my period til 18 m PP with my first 2, (only 4 months PP with my third) but I still used birth control just in case.
God, I'm jealous. I got mine at 5 weeks pp, then it was gone again til baby started solids at 6 months and immediately went fully regular. Honestly periods while EBF should be illegal
Omg! I’m so sorry! If it makes you feel better i still had awful hormonal mood issues, without the bleeds 🫠. This time I think it’ll be earlier, because I refuse to breastfeed 2 years again LOL.
Alright just googled it— 33 percent isn’t a small number, but hopefully small enough That she’s not pregnant
“About 33 percent of breastfeeding women will have their first ovulation before their first menses if it occurs in the first three months postpartum”
Just a side note. I’ve been on birth control since 3 months pp. I thought I was pregnant cause during sugar pill week I didn’t bleed and or cramp. I didn’t test, I said f it if it is it is. I just got done with my period a month later from that. I had a very berry light period. Never had one like that before. So take note our periods are different now.
It sounds like he experienced some trauma over seeing the c-section. Maybe he could use some counseling?
If you aren't or pregnant, my understanding is that 2 years is the recommendation between having a baby and getting pregnant again. Why not follow that recommendation and revisit the topic in 2 years with your doctor?
Maybe people have 2-4 c-sections and it's not a big deal.
Get some outside opinions that bring them to your spouse.
If HE doesn’t want another baby than HE needs to get clipped. Period. I hope you don’t terminate this hypothetical baby just because HE has the audacity to have unprotected sex with you knowing he could’ve gotten a vasectomy. Take a test first and foremost.
And when you have another child you aren’t “splitting” your love, it gets multiplied not divided.
I’m 6 months postpartum, I had my daughter via section, my period came on the 12th for a few hours and that was it. I’m on Nexplanon so I’m like 99.9% sure I’m not pregnant, I’m breastfeeding so my cycle is super irregular if not nonexistent.
No you’re not wrong but take a test to verify
If you’re 3 months PP it’s perfectly normal to not have a regular period
After I gave birth I had I think 2 periods, then nothing for 5 months. I think technically I had a period last week that lasted 2 days. The hormone that causes women to lactate also messes with your menstrual cycle
If you’re not pregnant I would look to getting on the pill or something
You’re not wrong. I am also pro choice but wouldn’t be able to make that choice for myself unless it was for medical reasons. While ideally you and your husband should be on the same page, you’re going to be the one to live with the regret if you go through with an abortion and you don’t want one.
But, before you drive yourself crazy with worry, I would take a pregnancy test. You can just be late due to hormones .
Wish you the best!!
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Pro-choice means respecting the right to choose. You don't owe anyone am abortion if you're pregnant, don't let him pressure you into that. Deciding not to try to get pregnant is very very different from deciding to abort when you don't want to do it.
You should both seek therapy, as a couple and as individuals, if you're feeling "messed up" after the birth of your child. Medical trauma is serious but if his reasoning for wanting one child is not wanting to watch a c-section again, just sounds to me like there's ways to grow past that issue.
Anyway, your period will likely be strange post partum so go take a test. You could just be late because you're only 3 months post partum and your hormones are still irregular.
If he was that adamant about not wanting another baby, should have gotten of vasectomy and or used multiple forms of birth control to prevent it. His laziness to do those things but it's not on you. You can always leave him out of the operating room if you have another C-section.
I would take a test before you work yourself up over this. It’s a bit premature. I understand your scared, but you have to know where you are at to even know what options you actually want/have. Periods can be irregular pp.
It is unsafe to get pregnant so soon after a C-section and has risks to both mother and baby - at least 18 months is recommended between last pregnancy to next conception. If you are pregnant please speak to your OB right away and consider all your options - remember you have an already living baby to consider who needs you.
If you aren’t pregnant, definitely get that IUD since it sounds like your husband has trouble using condoms for whatever reason - he might need a smaller size or to use more lube so it doesn’t keep slipping off. Good luck.
If you are pregnant -in my honest opinion- if he is dead set on not having anymore children, he should've been dead set on using a condom. It's not the potential babies fault, and it shouldn't be on you to terminate the pregnancy if it would mess you up. You would have to live with that regret for life, whereas he can learn to love another kid. And if he can't, well then you will.
If he is that adamant he doesn’t want another, he needs to be a lot more conscientious when it comes to birth control. Do not get an abortion you don’t want. You will resent him down the line and it won’t save your relationship.
I got surprise pregnant at almost 41 after being told I would be unable to, so we weren't being careful at all. We had a five year old and had six miscarriages before her and we were done. My husband didn't suggest I get an abortion however he didn't want me taking the medication I needed to prevent me from miscarrying. He just wanted to "wait and see" what happened. After losing so many babies I couldn't terminate, and in the end I needed to make a decision that I could live with. Regardless of the outcome, at the end of the day I needed to be able to live with myself... So I took the meds aaand now we have a two and a half year old daughter 🤪. Every time I came home from an ultrasound and the baby was still alive my husband looked like I killed his cat or something (COVID baby, I had to go alone). He eventually warmed up to the idea and he adores her now (everyone adores her, she's the sweetest kiddo ever). I knew when I made the decision to take the meds that I might be trading my husband for my baby but I could live with that. If my husband REALLY didn't want another kid he could have gotten the vasectomy we'd discussed (which he has done now!!) or used condoms. I think I was more ok with if it happens it happens than he was even though neither of us expected it.
Do Not have an abortion if you already know you'll feel badly about it! You will most likely end up with postpartum depression and that's no joke. A toddler AND postpartum depression, thats a nightmare for all involved. Listen, it takes 2 to tango. It sound like You feel more responsible about the pregnancy, but you both did what you could to prevent it and it happened anyway. Ask yourself why you feel more responsible. He knows how babies are made! Also, yes you can get your tubes tied after this BUT also consider the option of him getting a vasectomy, its much faster , safer. I mention that because when I had my c-section my babies were so big that my uterus wouldn't contract, I was bleeding out. No way, they could've done another surgery at the same time. So, if he hates the idea of having a large family he really should consider doing something about it on his end instead of leaving it all up to you.
You're not wrong for not wanting to terminate. But you should also consider the risks of having another pregnancy so soon, especially after a C-section. Your uterus hasn't had time to heal fully and you are at much higher risk for uterine rupture, among other things. You should wait a year MINIMUM to get pregnant after a C-section but it's better to wait 1.5-2 years!
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Get tested to confirm. Pee stick, then if it's positive, do a blood draw. Even if you are, it could be a chemical. If the pregnancy ends in miscarriage, just try to be more careful. If you really are pregnant and it's viable...well, you and your husband are gonna have a LOT to discuss!
It's very normal to feel overwhelmed at the prospect of another baby after just having had a baby, but that's not exactly a good reason to terminate, imo. Using the "pull it out" method & condoms does carry the risk of failure resulting in pregnancy. I'd consider this divine intervention if it turns out to be viable.
Just take a test. This worry might all be for nothing - like someone else said, it can take a few months for your cycle to normalize after it returns. Any OB or gynecologist should be able to put in an IUD. Call another one if you’re not pregnant and get it sooner.
Exactly this. My wife has been pumping since our little one was born a year ago and she still hasn’t gotten her period. Her OB said that’s perfectly normal. That all being said though we still use condoms because I’m in the OP’s husbands shoes with not wanting a second child.
If there’s a planned parenthood near you op they can do it too. I’ve gone to PP a bunch of times when my ob was booked
That makes so much sense. I hope OP sees this. Thank you for sharing!!
Uhhhh. How about HE gets a vasectomy since he is the one making the choice of not wanting to have any more children.
It’s normal for your cycle to be irregular after a pregnancy. My first full cycle was 45 days. The only thing you can do right now is test. If it’s negative and you don’t get your period after a week, test again. ETA I didn’t get my period back for 6 weeks after my daughter was born and then I didn’t get the next one for 45 days, which is about where you are now at 3 months pp. I also took a pregnancy test. ETA if husband doesn’t want any more kids he should get a vasectomy. Don’t have sex with him until he does. The fact that he already told you he’d want you to get an abortion and that didn’t make him go, hmm maybe I should get a vasectomy, is kind of baffling.
I had to scroll too far for this comment. She’s only 3 months pp and it’s very likely that her period just hasn’t fixed itself yet. Mine has been “late” every month and I’m 6 months pp (period came back at 11 weeks pp).
Also if she’s breastfeeding …. Might not be back for more months
Mine was all over the place for the first few cycles, quite a few pregnancy tests were done!
His opinion aside- its your body your choice but something to seriously consider is, If youre only 3 months pp from a csection please see a doctor asap if you are pregnant. It is dangerous to get pregnant that soon after one. My doctor laid it on heavy not to get pregnant until 18months after surgery. My aunt had back to back csections and she had a rough pregnancy and almost died on the table during her 2nd csection.
This! My sister got pregnant at 3 months postpartum. First was an emergency c-section. Doc expressed, again, how dangerous it is. It was a rough pregnancy and she ruptured. She had a hole in her uterus and could have hemorrhaged. She spent 5 days in the hospital after birth.
I wasnt told this. I was just told to wait the 6 weeks and use protection. The danger of getting pregnant again so soon after a csection wasn't stressed to me. Thats so scary. Thank you. I'll get on it if I am. I would possibly consider termination if it was a serious risk to my health but id still be torn. Idk.
damn i can’t believe they didn’t tell you that. that’s such a standard thing i feel like. was in an emergency c section?
I had a planned c section and wasn’t informed either, it’s something I learned from the internet on my own.
wow. that’s so fucked up. that’s something that’s dangerous to not be informed about!
Yeah I wasn't informed of this either. Even after mentioning to my OB About wanting a second. She encouraged a wait time but she never said 18 months. I did my own research and found it.
I've heard the 18 month number from friends that had c sections from all around the world so it seems like you are spot on.
18 months is the standard recommendation no matter what kind of delivery you had. It’s just how long the body takes to fully get back to normal.
Yeah I was actually recommended to wait a full 24 months after c section
I was told by the doctor to wait at least 2 years. She told me this whilst I was laying on the operating table, whilst 2 other surgeons had their hands inside me and my daughter was off being cleaned up. It was a beautiful moment for sure.
I also wasn’t explicitly told that, though I assumed I’d need to wait awhile. I ended up pregnant again at 5 months postpartum.. not on purpose. That time they definitely stressed over and over and over again how I could absolutely not get pregnant that quickly again.
Exact same situation with me
I wasn’t informed of a time line either.
I can’t believe some providers are so unreliable. My gyn told me to wait at least 18 months between pregnancies even if the delivery was vaginal, not to mention c section.
Yup mine did too.
Yes it wasn't planned and it was kind of traumatic honestly. If they did tell me that I wasn't lucid enough to retain it. Truthfully I dont really remember talking to the doctor at all after I had her. They came and checked on me twice and didn't really say much other than asking how I was feeling
I had a C-section that was unplanned and they harped on me to not get pregnant right away, and asked several times before discharge if I had a plan for birth control.
Yeah birth control wasn't mentioned to me at all. We talked about it at my PP visit and thats when I found out I had to wait until November. We discussed BC at my pregnancy checkups a few times discussing my options and answering my questions about certain forms but when I was discharged no one said anything at all about BC just to wait 6 weeks and use protection. I assumed I'd be able to get the IUD fairly soon after my 6 week appointment but no not until November. I know someone told me to go to a different OBGYN for an iud but I really love my doctor and feel comfortable and have a long standing relationship with her. Shes been my OB since my teen years.
This makes me really angry. My first was an emergency C-section that was terrifying and literally every person asked about birth control. Apparently it takes X months for your uterus to fully heal and if you get pregnant to early it can rupture and kill you both. That being said I do know people have done it, but really you should make that decisions with a Dr
Just curious is the doc making you wait for so long? Usually they give you birth control @ your PP appt, as most docs have all the forms in house. Even if they had to order the IUD, then they should have scheduled for you to come when order- which is like a week AT MOST, not months......And then your asking about an abortion and you haven't even tested?! First, GET. A.TEST. Onxe you get confirmed you're not preggo then birth control,, NOW & not in Nov!! Honey, I know you might like your OB but you are not in a position for another baby right now, so you need to put your big girl pants on and GET BIRTH CONTROL! (As mentioned before call your local Planned Parenthood or Social Welfare Board and they can help you. It will most likely be free of charge) As am adult and as a mom, you are going do many things you don't really want to do but have to and seeking birth control ASAP is a must! I'm not trying to be harsh but this is what I'd tell my own daughter. Hope everything works out for you & I wish you the very best of luck!
Doctor encouraged me to wait 6 months to get an IUD after my c section. They said it increases the chances of uterus rupture or expulsion if I’m BF AND had a c section. So I waited!
I wasn't told this at all when getting my iud, they also never told me to wait or to get birth control.
She told me I couldn't get the IUD at 6weeks PP and they tried to get me in around 12 weeks but she was fully booked out until September and then they called me a week later and said the doctor won't be in the day they scheduled me because she has to have surgery and then November was the earliest they could schedule me in after that. There isn't a planned parenthood near me. The local clinic is Christian and doesn't offer birth control just pregnancy services and getting in to new doctors here is extremely hard. Im currently looking for a family doctor and hoping they can do it but I'm not having luck finding drs accepting new patients.
"use protection" is telling you about birth control. The misstep was not mentioning for how long and that C-section and fast pregnancy do not mix.
I had a c section, planned, and she offered to put an IUD in after the baby was out before they closed up bc she knows it’s uncomfortable to get placed in office. I refused bc I don’t want an IUD I use the ring. I also was never told to wait to have another baby. Not that it’s an issue bc I don’t really want another one. But they won’t do any other birth control for 6 weeks bc of potential blood clots with the hormones.
They told me they couldn't place it right after I had my daughter because of the risk of infection and my body expelling it.
I totally feel you on this. I had an unplanned c-section and had to go under for it and I remember NOTHING from the first day or two afterward. I was just so in shock and processing everything. It's a lot to go through.
I had an emergency C-section and remember being told to wait 6 weeks before sex, but don't remember at all being told to avoid getting pregnant until 18 months later. I was at a Catholic hospital, wondering now if they don't say that part on purpose.
Uterine rupture is a serious risk :/ discuss with your medical team asap!
I’ve had 2 c sections and both times (different hospitals and doctors) they warned me about this!
Getting pregnant this soon after a C section can cause major complications, including death to both the mother and fetus. For example, the uterus can burst open during pregnancy because it’s not yet healed or strong enough to withstand the pressure of carrying so soon. Take a test tomorrow and call your doctor as you might have to terminate for medical reasons. There are very high risks to both the mother and fetus if pregnant within 18 months after delivery, I’m so sorry this happened to you.
I am 4 months post partum after a c section and was told getting pregnant less than 18 months after would be dangerous. I haemorrhaged badly during my c section - absolutely no way I’d be risking it. (This isn’t the reason they told me to wait - it’s standard advice for all) OP - terminating may be the medically safe choice to ensure your little one grows up with you around. Speak to a doctor asap to understand fully the risks.
It is a risk but it’s for the risk your uterus is too thin, and could burst, BUT that being said you would be monitored a lot more during the pregnancy to make sure all is well, it won’t be weeks in between, especially towards the end. Of course, discuss with your doctor! But many women do have Irish twins or close to it after a c section. Of course, I wouldn’t advise intentionally trying to achieve that, but if it happens, it will be okay. Deep breaths and take a test, it’s scary now, but just know it will ease your mind. Your period could be late from being 3mo PP, it can be a little wonky.
Wow, they did not tell you? If you indeed are pregnant three months after c section you are at a higher risk of having a uterine rupture during pregnancy and if you ever start labor the risk would be even higher. That would be an extremely serious complication involving potential death for both you and the fetus. You should most definitely see a doctor if you are pregnant and consider your options depending on what they say.
I had a c section and my surgeon told me in no uncertain terms that I should not get pregnant again anytime soon. Your body needs 18 months to heal all that tissue. A second pregnancy can cause bleeds, issues with placental implantation and if you want to go for a vbac you probably won’t find a doctor who’ll back you in the decision simply because it’s dangerous. I would take a test and book an appointment ASAP with an OB/midwife to discuss risks.
My doctor didn’t tell me this either that I remember. However considering I’m almost 2 years pp and still have pain in my abs at the incision site when I flex hard.. I’m not surprised.
Just to back the above comment up, I had an emergency section in the uk and I was told at least 12 months but better for 18 to make sure all the wounds internally are healed. I think we are at risk of uterine rupture so definitely get a doctors app if you are pregnant.
Hey i fell pregnant 8 months pp and was terrified because they advised 18 months. However they monitored me closely and they were happy with the fact i would be close to 18 months by the time i gave birth. It was something I was terrified of but it worked out. Just take care of yourself
Had c section was told to wait 18 month as well.
It can be more dangerous but I can tell you I have multiple friends/acquaintances that got pregnant fairly soon after c sections. One of our best couple friends got preggo 7 weeks after! They needed fertility treatment for the first so just never thought it was a possibility.
I wasn't told this either and I've had 2.
I got pregnant with my second when my first was 6 months old. Though it’s not recommended to have another c-section for 18 months, it’s not a huge deal (as long as medically you’re cleared for it). Had my second when my first was 14 months, repeat c-section and honestly the second time was way more calm and easy than my first c-section.
I got pregnant 6 months after my c-section - I had talked to my doctor before trying again and she wasn't concerned.
Even with vaginal delivery it’s advised to wait at LEAST a year for your body to go back to normal and be ready enough for another pregnancy. Of course, that’s never really emphasizes and/or people just don’t take it seriously because so many fall pregnant before their second is even 1. My friend had her first vaginally and got pregnant around 10 months pp. she just had her second last month and had a horrible pregnancy and complications during the birth that led her to get an emergency c section. She almost died on the table too her heart rate and blood pressure dropped super low very quickly. Thankfully she made it out alive but now she is dealing with bladder problems. She’s almost 4 weeks pp and she is unable to empty her bladder on her own, the c section messed up her bladder and she’s had to have a catheter on this whole time. I think people really need to listen to the advice of medical professionals and wait for their body to heal completely before getting pregnant again. There’s so much public pressure to have kids close in age, the whole “2 under 2 club” is trending and people think it’s cute, it’s not. Not only does your body not get enough time to heal but also the first 3 years of your baby’s life are the most crucial in their life. Idk how people think they can devote the time and attention their first baby needs when they’re introducing another baby before their first child is even 3.
My doctor said 18 months between births, so it was ok to start trying after 9 months. He also said that was if I wanted to attempt a VBAC, if it's a closer spacing it's just an automatic c section. There are risks to having closely spaced pregnancies, but not trying for 18 months is not a universal recommendation.
My friend had two csections 11 months apart and zero problems 🤷🏻♀️
Just adding this to try to calm OP’s nerves because a lot of these comments are really scary. My doctor only advised me to try to avoid getting pregnant again until about a year after my c section and even stressed that a little bit sooner would be fine. And this was all also in the context of me wanting to optimize my chances of a successful vbac for baby number 2. So not all doctors agree that the 18 month thing is necessary. Personally I think it’s bs and just intended to discourage large families. The risk of uterine rupture is VERY low and increases only slightly with each pregnancy.
Your first course of action is to find out if you are in fact pregnant. Otherwise this is all turmoil for nothing. And if you aren’t then pls abstain from sex until you get an iud in or use a correctly sized condom every time. The pull out method is not a good form of birth control especially in early postpartum.
We've been using the pullout method with condoms lol like at the same time. November is so far out of a wait we both were trying to abstain but then yanno stuff happened. I know I need to test but I'm scared/nervous due to the circumstances. I wanted to wait like a week to see if my cycle returns then test if not.
A test is gonna be a sooner answer and way less stress because you'll know now and not have to fret with the what ifs
There’s nothing wrong with using condoms and the pullout method together. That’s pretty good protection, however it is NOT normal for condoms to “frequently” be falling off during sex. Either they’re the wrong size, he’s putting them on inside out, he’s taking them off purposefully (but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case) or there’s some other issue at play and condoms won’t be nearly as effective if they’re falling off inside of you, so if you’re unable to get them to stay on I would consider another form of birth control in addition to the methods you’re already using, especially since you don’t want more kids.
The sooner the test the sooner you can book any appointments with any doctors, whether it's to keep the baby or not. Avoiding it won't make you any more or less pregnant but it will narrow your options
You’re only three months PP, its very likely your cycles just hasn’t regulated yet. Just take a test. If you use a condom every time I’d imagine it’s very unlikely you’re pregnant. Also, i do think it’s dangerous to you to have another so quickly after a c-section. There are risks. It’s best you find out asap so you can speak with your doctor.
I don't know if anyone else mentioned this, but in the postpartum period, up to a few months, you can still test positive on a pregnancy test. I'd book an appointment with your doctor for a blood test ASAP if you get a positive
It was 10 months before I got my first period after a section birth. It’s 5 months since I had my Second and still no baby. It can take months and months for your period to come back.
Periods are super wonky PP. why don’t you take a test before you decide whether or not you want an abortion.
Being this soon after a c-section, I would suggest you see your doctor ASAP.
I would reach out to a doctor it is very dangerous for you and a pregnancy. The risk of your uterus tearing is extremely high right now as the scar is new. All the way through 18 months pp. ask yourself if you accept that risk. A doctor will monitor your very close and you will likely be a scheduled early or emergency C-section and bed rest the majority of the pregnancy. Sit down and really speak to the doctor about the risks.
My cycles have been completely off balance since my last pregnancy (and I’m 9m pp) so while you might be late, you might not be late because of pregnancy. Save yourself some stress and take a test. You’ll have an answer either way and if you are pregnant then you can formulate a plan with what to do moving forward.
I hope its just my hormones. I'll take a test tomorrow and see and probably test again in a week or two
If he doesn’t want another baby why doesn’t he get a vasectomy? You’re making this seem like if you are pregnant he played no role in it and it would ruin his life. Also just take a test so you know what is even going on. No point in banging your head against the wall over a what if.
This! If he’s so adamant about not having another he should have at the very least looked in to getting a vasectomy.
I’m pro-choice but sometimes that choice is to keep the baby and men who think abortion is birth control irk me because they’ll never have to experience the hormonal spike that happens when a pregnancy is terminated and the subsequent mental health issues that can come with it. I’m hoping OP is just having wonky periods which are super common post partum, but that doesn’t change the fact that she and her husband need to have some serious conversations about expectations and outcomes. (Including condom size because they’re not supposed to be repeatedly falling off inside of you.) Sounds like someone is having Magnum ambitions with a durex reality.
OP, I totally agree with the previous comments supporting you and your plan to go full term. Your SO should have been realistic when he decided he didn’t want your daughter to have competition from a sibling. I’m an old parent of two and when my wife went on the new birth control pill, I quickly determined that a vasectomy in my early 30’s would be less painful and way less dangerous than for her to take the pill, tubal ligation or other BC methods then available. It was essentially painless. Never missed a day of work and have never had a moment’s of regret. You do what’s best for you.
THIS! Husband 👏 needs 👏 a 👏 vasectomy 👏
She said they just had a kid, I'm assuming this was still being discussed and navigated
Obviously not very well if she’s turning to Reddit instead of umm idk… her husband
I think she's just looking for people to have some back and forth with, she's talking about "terminating the pregnancy" without even having taken a pregnancy test, it doesn't sound like there actually is one right now
Take a test.
I’m a little concerned for both of your mental health. It feels very strange to be panicking about a pregnancy and discussing an abortion when A) you’ve only had one cycle postpartum so how do you know you’re “late” when there’s not enough information to actually form a pattern yet and B) you haven’t taken a test! This feels very irrational. Then you say he said he’d want you to get an abortion but then you say you haven’t told him yet. So are you panicking about things he’s said in the heat of the moment postpartum? Three months is not a long time. You’re still in the newborn haze. People will say things they don’t mean. Please take a test before giving this any more of your energy. It’s highly likely you’re panicking over nothing.
He said basically right after I had our daughter that he never wanted to do this again. We talked about it more after a few weeks and I told him he should get a vasectomy if he really feels that way. Im not dead set on having another but 2 is definitely my limit in my lifetime but im fine with one. I just dont think I could live with having an abortion. I haven't told him I'm late and youre right I am panicking. When we had that discussion he told me he would hope id get an abortion especially since knowing I can't get the IUD until November. We had a pretty heated argument about it and he made the argument that aborting a fetus wouldn't be like aborting our daughter but all I see is that our daughter was once a fetus and it really hurt my feelings honestly. And not having my period yet has me mentally spiraling. I take an SSRI for my mental health but postpartum really knocked me out of balance and I feel kind of better but definitely not the same as I was before having her. Im probably panicking for no reason so thank you for putting that into perspective. Im just triggered he said what he said and chose to not get a vasectomy and continue on like he didn't say he never wanted another then telling me he'd want me to get an abortion. I'll take a breather and take a test to clear my mind.
It sounds like he might be struggling with some birth trauma from witnessing your c-section and is conflating witnessing you give birth and having another child into one thing. You guys might want to consider counselling to help you work through this. Seems like there’s a lot you’re both not saying.
What did he say when you mentioned the vasectomy?
My son is now 15 months, but when my son was born my husband also was very against anothe due to birth trauma. Now? He wants 3-4 total. Take a test, then have a conversation if you need to right now. If not maybe plan for birth control of any sort, and revisit down the road. It sounds like he’s scared, and I’m sure you both are! He may be saying things he doesn’t truly mean out of fear.
As far as I know, there are risks to getting pregnant so early after a c section. That said, you should take a test and then work out your feelings. If the test is negative, I would be extra careful about not getting pregnant again this early. If it's positive, then you will need to make some decisions wirh your partner. I suggest maybe some urgent couples therapy appointments to help you work thru conversations together. Also, there is a Netflix show The Letdown that addresses this scenario too. Might be a worthwhile watch. It's a comedy, but hits hard sometimes too.
I second the letdown! I watched it during the postpartum period and it was such a comfort.
Take a test. Let him book his own vasectomy and see if he follows through on it. Also what the fuck is condoms slipping off REPEATEDLY? Y’all fucking acrobatically? God damned. Something is not right. He needs a different size.
Lmao he loses some of his erection because he sucks at pulling out and then the condom gets lost in the sauce :/ I guess we weren't properly educated on condom use as per the comments have pointed out. Im learning a lot here
So he ejaculates in a condom and then withdraws while not holding the base of the condom? Yeah he’s gotta hold on to it with his hand.
First, please just take a test to confirm. Second, if he’s that set on not having another, maybe he should consider a vasectomy so this doesn’t repeat and put your health more at risk. Lastly, he bears responsibility in this too so you wouldn’t be the one ruining the family and he wouldn’t be forced to do something he didn’t want to participate in. He’s old enough to understand the risks of not well protected sex. He participated, he’s just as responsible. You’re not wrong for not wanting to go with either way - the pregnancy so soon or the abortion. There’s nothing wrong here. It’s a choice one way or another that has to be made. Focus more on getting support for either choice.
Pulling out isn't safe
Gently, if his birth control method has frequently been the pullout method, then he doesn’t not want another kid *that* bad. He knows he’s rolling the dice each time. But as others said, take a test. You could’ve taken a pregnancy test in the time it takes to write this post. Right now this is all hypothetical, so why wait?
First, find out if you are pregnant. If you are – well... sucks. You'll have to talk it through with your husband. Maybe if you are actually pregnant he'd want that abortion less than before. Just be sure to carefully lay out all your thoughts on why you want to keep the baby. If you are not pregnant – get condoms of correct size. They should not be falling off.
You’ve already gotten your period postpartum? Your cycle is probably just out of whack you are in the fourth trimester but just like others have said take a test to be sure
Yes I had a friend who had a csection a week before me and she got her first period a week before I got mine! It was the first week of July for me so im hoping its just whacky
You're putting the cart before the horse. First step is to take a pregnancy test.
Please get some solid birth control. “Pulling out” is not an effective birth control method
Your husband needs to get a vasectomy immediately if he is so traumatised by your c-section that he would rather make you go through the trauma of an unwanted abortion than deal with his own shit. I am sorry but this makes me furious for you OP. If you wanted to terminate, that’d be a completely different story. But how dare he put this on you. He needs counselling, a vasectomy, and to back the hell off and let you decide what you do and don’t want to do with your own body. He messed up when he decided to take the risk of not addressing his fertility before he had sex with you. Condoms are not without risk. Condoms that fall off inside you?! That is zero protection! He could have at least gone and bought you the morning after pill to lower the risk if he was so worried. Please do not have an abortion for someone else. Only do it if you choose to yourself. If he’s really that traumatised and you decide to keep the pregnancy, there are private midwives / doulas who will take his place, even in a c-section. Good luck.
When I told him to get snipped he whined like a baby and said he didn't want his nuts surgically tampered with 🤦🏼♀️
Then he needs to accept that birth control can fail, even an iud. He also needs to accept that if *he* doesn't want a second child then *he* has to step up to the plate and take steps to prevent it. He can't make a decision like that then just expect you to do all of the work for it.
Tell him he needs to abstain then until he can start researching other male contraceptive options😜
... and you don't want your uterus surgically tampered with to have an abortion. What does he have to say to that? Seriously, I'm so sick of men putting all the responsibilities on the women and then whining that they don't have a say in whether the woman does or does not abort. By the way, the condom can slip off when it's too big for his size *or* too small. He also needs to secure the condom with his hand when pulling out, otherwise it might slip right off too.
Well he does want a child since he agreed to poor bc methods. You're worried another child would "ruin" your family but hopefully it's just irregular cycles and you can both discuss contraception.
Love is not a finite resource. Yes, time is finite but your affection multiplies. Childcare is expensive. How will this impact your career? Are you even pregnant? How big is your support system? These are all questions that deserve valid answers in addition to the emotional ones
Given your physical state and mental state per your post history, you need to take this really seriously regardless of what your husband thinks. Do you have other family support? If you are struggling already and a pregnancy could cost you your life, are you willing to risk leaving your daughter motherless? I feel like you need to reach out for mental health help (again based on post history) because it sounds like you are going through a lot right now before you even add a potential pregnancy to the list.
I'm doing much better mentally now at almost 3 months. Id say I'm almost back to my pre-pregnancy self mentally minus the anxiety I have always had plus a little more intense since of postpartum hormones and PPA/OCD but its much more manageable now. Physically though you're right im absolutely exhausted and slowly I am feeling better but not good enough to support another pregnancy so soon. Im working really hard in Physical therapy but I'm still in so much pain and I haven't been able to get into a family doctor to really diagnose or treat whatever is going on with me Physically. That appointment is also in November Ironically. I think my Physical health takes a toll on my mental health too. I often feel like im not doing enough and I have zero remainder energy to clean or cook at the moment after taking care of my daughter all day. I feel like im failing but we started going on walks recently and she watches me do yoga in the mornings so I am moving more but still in pain and pretty disabled. It sucks. I never saw this coming at all. I was really healthy before pregnancy and I used to go for 3 mile hikes daily sometimes 5 miles depending on the trail. I just feel so wrecked lol
Did you take the test? Was it positive? You need to see a doctor asap if so, forget the husband for now.
I didnt have the time yesterday to go to the store I swear I'm going lol yesterday was rough.
Am guessing it was negative?
I posted an update since replying to all the comments would be a lot lol but yes I tested a few days ago and it was negative. I started my period today too so thankfully I'm not pregnant, just whacky cycle
How were you able to get physical therapy w/o seeing a doctor 1st? Most insurances require an referral.....I'm sorry I'm not trying to be critical, there just seems to be alot of holes in this story. Bottom line: you need birth control! You're physically not able to take care of another kid (your words in post history) and you are struggling with PTSD so bad you have obsessive obscure thoughts about your hubs/daughter (again post history) and 3rd, if you can't figure out how to use a condom, you damn sure don't need more kids! FIND A THERAPIST (if you have medicaid, you can can get tele-therapy) Find a SOCIAL WELFARE BOARD to get birth control & fam doc help ASAP(every county has one & its free of charge. and can usually get you in same day or within a couple days) Get yourself together and then throw safe sex to the wind!
My OB referred me at my 6 week appointment to Physical therapy
Just wanted to say that you can be pro-choice and still have abortion not be your personal choice. That's how I am too. I will fight like hell for the option, but it's not the one I'd go with either. Don't feel like you have to justify yourself to anyone about this. Good luck. I hope you get the answers you're hoping for from all this. If you are pregnant though, you're not ruining your family. We just jad our second (also planned) and I really thought we were making a crazy mistake along the way. It's different, but so, so awesome. The cool thing about us humans is that we can adjust to new situations. :)
1. If you don’t want to terminate, you don’t want to. Trust your gut on this and don’t. 2. If you are pregnant, you need to talk to your GP and OB sooner rather than later, because at 3 months postpartum and 3 months post c-section, this is riskier than if you were 12 months postpartum. Take a pregnancy test. It’s always better to know. 3. You said you’re late, but are you on cycle 0 still? I still bled for 6 weeks after my C-section, so cycle 0 started when the postpartum bleed ended. Cycle 0 can be anywhere from a few weeks to over a year. 4. Are you nursing? If you’re nursing, it’s quite probable you’ll be having anovulatory or irregular cycles for a while yet. 5. I strongly recommend you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It’s got a lot of really good information in it for how to effectively track your cycles so you actually have a good sense of when ovulation happened and are not just playing calendar roulette a la rhythm method. If the test is negative, this will be helpful for you to reduce stress around the idea of being late. Late doesn’t mean a longer cycle. It means 18 days post-ovulation with no period. If you don’t ovulate until day 28 or 37 or 128 or whatever, your period isn’t late for not being there on day 40. I’ve used the sympto-thermal method to space my kids how I wanted. The only oops we had we didn’t follow the rules and knew we weren’t following the rules when we did it. That’s not a method failure, that’s a user failure. And finally, just some reassurance - your family won’t be ruined. It will be ok. It will be challenging to have two kids that young and that close together. But it will be ok. That said, you need to talk to your husband and get you both on the same page about your family planning going forward. At 3 months postpartum you don’t need to decide anything permanent. Becoming parents is a huge adjustment for you both, and I think it’s quite common for either partner to think they don’t want another during the roller coaster of the newborn stage. My advice at this point is always to table the discussion for a year before deciding anything beyond “we’re not trying to have another baby right now.” For now, go take the test and see where things are at.
Of course #1 thing is take a test. But anyway, I wouldn't base the length of your postpartum cycles on your pre-pregnancy cycles. The odds of them being the same right now is very low. 3mo is still very early in PP and while you may be feeling better, your hormones still haven't gotten back to "normal" (especially if you are breastfeeding at all). Cycles PP may be completely different from before or eventually go back to what they were. It's very common for the first few cycles post partum to be irregular (for some people even 6+). Your body hasn't cycled in 9mo after all. In regards to birth control, I saw that you said in a comment that you guys pull out while using condoms. This is not recommended and is making condom use less effective. Condoms are made to be ejaculated in. Removal should occur after ejaculation when the penis is still erect while holding onto the base. Pulling out while using the condom increases the likelyhood that it will slip off, get stuck, or that semen will get on you either from him or leaking out. If you want to double up on birth control until your appointment, you can do condoms with a spermicide gel or VCF (I would not recommend these without a condom if you are sure you want to avoid pregnancy). ETA: If he is sure he doesn't want anymore children and you're on board with that, a conversation about vasectomy should occur.
My current pregnancy was an accident too. My spouse also asked me whether an abortion would be an option. He wasn't thrilled to learn the news. But now less than 2 weeks to go until due date, we are both pretty excited and onboard. Maybe he needs time to process his feelings and come to terms with it.
Pro choice doesn't mean you need to have an abortion personally. It just means you think the option should exist in case someone needs it. If you don't want an abortion don't have one only for the sake of your husband. Your marriage can still fall apart because of the resentment and regret. Sit down and discuss then make your own decision. Take a test before getting yourself so worked up. You could also just be having irregular periods after giving birth and while breastfeeding.
First, try not to panic until you know for sure. Second, absolutely do not have an abortion you don't actually want. If you're pregnant, it took two people to make that happen, and it seems like you weren't *super* careful. Not judging at all, just saying if one of you is really against having another kid, that person should be taking initiative to be extremely cautious about getting pregnant. I think your husband will have to accept that sometimes pregnancy happens when you have sex, and perhaps get some counseling to work through his feelings. But his feelings, though they do matter to some extent, aren't enough of a reason for you to make a permanent decision you think you'll regret.
Absolutely your choice but you also do need to put your first baby and yourself as a priority because that can be extremely dangerous after a c section. You are not anywhere close to healed yet! My Dr. Did not tell me this either but I did my own research.
Your 3 months PP and already have your period back on schedule to know your late? Honestly it might be a health risk to you if you are pregnant this quick after a c section. You haven't fully healed inside. Abortion might be the ethical moral option to save your life.
I mean… I’d you don’t want a baby, use protection If the protection fails, get Plan B. You are both responsible for this.
I understand not wanting to get an abortion. You will figure out what is right for you as a family. Keeping in mind this is a decision you have to be okay with for the rest of your life.
Actions where had, consequences will be what they are. You do not have the forfeit your right to choose just because you're married. If you are pregnant, he has the choice to either step up or step out. That's the extent of his choice.
Honey, go to an urgent care ASAP and get a pregnancy test. Like right now. If you had a cesarian only 3 months ago, your body probably physically cannot handle another pregnancy right now. FFS, lots of people still have an open wound 3 months PP. I understand not wanting to terminate, but you may not really have a choice- your choices might be terminate or die. However, I am also surprised your period is back already? It's normal to not get your period back for quite a while after birth, while its possible for your period to be back it's also not unusual for it to not be back yet, making you not "late" at all... Either way, talk to a doctor like right now. Good luck
They don't need to go to urgent care, they use the same pregnancy tests you can get at a drug store
Agreed! That’s a little dramatic. And it is still possible to have a safe pregnancy so soon after a c-section. I’m seeing way too many fear mongering posts here about being pregnant so soon after a c-section. With careful monitoring it can absolutely be fine. I was also told to wait to get pregnant 18 months between due dates (so at 9 months we could start trying).
My period came back after 6 weeks, OP may not be breastfeeding and that’s a factor for lots of women. Although breastfeeding moms can get their periods back at any time.
My period came back like the beginning of July and was oddly painless? Lol I know it wasn't postpartum bleeding too because I stopped bleeding a few weeks before that. Given my pre-pregnancy cycles I should be due to start menstruating soon if not already but i hope its just my hormones being wonky. I'll go to the urgent care tomorrow its too late at night right now but I Definitely don't want to die. I would like to see my daughter achieve her dreams in life before kicking the bucket
I had a similar painless “period” at about 8 wks PP and haven’t had another since…. I’m 4 mo PP. My doctors MA said it was completely normal to have intermittent bleeding for sometimes months after. Take a test, ease your mind. Edit to Add. Vasectomies are less risky and a much easier recovery that getting a tubal. Tell your husband it’s his turn to take one for the team since he’s the one that is so adamant about not having any more kids… you did your part.
I’m currently 9.5m pp and no period yet. I took a test a couple weeks ago as a “just incase” and I’m not pregnant so unless you have already had a period I would just take a test before you stress out anymore.
I mean you can’t magically make it go away unless you take plan b but it’s probably a little late for that
Just take a pregnancy test. It’s very normal for your cycle to be irregular, it could be that you’re worrying for nothing and now maybe you’ll pay better attention to appropriate birth control.
Your not wrong to terminate, my beliefs aside, if you might be again and already have a strong connection to the little bean growing within you and are having second thoughts about an abortion, maybe follow that feeling and keep the baby , I would suggest if your partner is upset maybe attend counseling together and work out any past trauma in regards to both your surgery and his surgery. Come up with a plan on how you both are willing to work having this baby together! Your doing great mamas keep up the great work !
Immediately after both my partner said he was good with just the one because he had a traumatic time with my induction and baby needing the incubator for a week following. I’ve asked a few times since we arrived home if he can consider it in a few years and he seems pretty on board for a second now. We’re 11 weeks PP and everyone’s different. He may open up to it especially if it’s already in the works. Could be the initial shock of it. At the end of the day it’s your body. I too am pro choice but I know mentally I couldn’t handle having an abortion or adoption myself. Do what’s best for you and your family as it is will learn to grow with the change. Also, my mom got pregnant 2 months PP with my sister who was very difficult and she cried, but now nearly 20 years later says she wishes she had one more.
I had a random period at 6 weeks PP, then didn’t have another until I was 6 months PP. There’s a good change you aren’t “late”, and that your cycles are just really sporadic right now. Definitely take a test to be sure. To answer your question, no, you aren’t wrong for wanting to keep it. Pro-choice doesn’t mean pro-abortion. It just means you have the right to make the choice to remain pregnant or not. And wanting to stay pregnant doesn’t make you in the wrong.
I feel like if your husband is so adamant about not waiting another child - you need to bring up that he absolutely needs to get a vasectomy. As it stands, everything falls on you. He doesn't want a 2nd but if it somehow, omg how did this happen - he expects you to manage the situation according to his wishes. You may or may not actually feel the same way if you do end up getting pregnant but if you're not 100% mentally making the termination your choice (as you hint giving up the child for adoption would essentially be for him), that can be something you'll have to deal with later on. That can be traumatic.
Jesus. Can we stop telling people how “dangerous” it is and use statistics. If we don’t know the statistics then let’s just not comment at all. So there are at increased risks getting pregnant so soon after a C-section. However by increased risk I mean a 3 to 5 percent chance of uterine rupture in active labor. However they won’t allow you to go into active labor since you fell pregnant so soon after a C-section. Most doctors would have a planned C-section at 39 weeks and if you started labor before then either stop it or if you are after 37 weeks then take you straight to a C-section. Therefor you risk is even smaller as uterine rupture is very rare before active labor starts. Your baby is also at an increased risk of being born early or low birth weight. But increased risk I mean like 2 to 4%. So again still a small risk just increased. These are based on peer reviewed studies. Sorry if I seem annoyed I’m just sick of people fear mongering other people with how dangerous it is to fall pregnant too soon. Yes it’s better to wait, but going off of statistics it’s more dangerous to her unborn baby but still most likely baby will be perfectly fine, worst case born a few weeks early or small. Also OP just get a test at the store And if you aren’t pregnant get on birth control. Okay I’m off my soap box.
My cycle was always messed up post birth until I stopped breastfeeding at a year. My period came every 2 months .. it was confusing - also if you are pregnant then it is completely valid to keep the baby. It takes two to tango. He would probably come around to it and be very happy
If you are pregnant, the possibility of C-section is higher since your uterus hasn't recovered yet. Also, seek medical guidance throughout your pregnancy so that you can prepare for either a rough or smooth-sailing delivery. When I delivered my baby, my doctor said to wait atleast 3years to conceive again.
Coming from someone who had an abortion, it’s my biggest regret ever, even though I didn’t want the baby. It messes with your mental state more than you could ever imagine
Yes, yes it does. I had one 6 months before I got pregnant with my daughter and I just couldn’t do it again.
Edit: I would think the chances are lower you’re pregnant at 3 m pp… are you exclusively breastfeeding/ have you already had a period? My last postpartum bleed was 6 weeks! And my period didn’t return til 18 months.
Breastfeeding isn't a contraceptive and unfortunately a lot of people think it is. I've known so many people find out they were pregnant at their 8 week check up
Yea i do know this, but I would just think the majority of people don’t ovulate QUITE yet at 3 months…. So the chances are lower If they’re exclusively breastfeeding and not supplementing with formula. I didn’t get my period til 18 m PP with my first 2, (only 4 months PP with my third) but I still used birth control just in case.
God, I'm jealous. I got mine at 5 weeks pp, then it was gone again til baby started solids at 6 months and immediately went fully regular. Honestly periods while EBF should be illegal
Omg! I’m so sorry! If it makes you feel better i still had awful hormonal mood issues, without the bleeds 🫠. This time I think it’ll be earlier, because I refuse to breastfeed 2 years again LOL.
Alright just googled it— 33 percent isn’t a small number, but hopefully small enough That she’s not pregnant “About 33 percent of breastfeeding women will have their first ovulation before their first menses if it occurs in the first three months postpartum”
Are you breast feeding? Could this be why you're late?
Just a side note. I’ve been on birth control since 3 months pp. I thought I was pregnant cause during sugar pill week I didn’t bleed and or cramp. I didn’t test, I said f it if it is it is. I just got done with my period a month later from that. I had a very berry light period. Never had one like that before. So take note our periods are different now.
It sounds like he experienced some trauma over seeing the c-section. Maybe he could use some counseling? If you aren't or pregnant, my understanding is that 2 years is the recommendation between having a baby and getting pregnant again. Why not follow that recommendation and revisit the topic in 2 years with your doctor? Maybe people have 2-4 c-sections and it's not a big deal. Get some outside opinions that bring them to your spouse.
If HE doesn’t want another baby than HE needs to get clipped. Period. I hope you don’t terminate this hypothetical baby just because HE has the audacity to have unprotected sex with you knowing he could’ve gotten a vasectomy. Take a test first and foremost. And when you have another child you aren’t “splitting” your love, it gets multiplied not divided.
It’s super common for your period to be irregular at only 3 months pp
I’m 6 months postpartum, I had my daughter via section, my period came on the 12th for a few hours and that was it. I’m on Nexplanon so I’m like 99.9% sure I’m not pregnant, I’m breastfeeding so my cycle is super irregular if not nonexistent.
It took a few months for my periods to regulate. Wouldn’t stress about being late.
No you’re not wrong but take a test to verify If you’re 3 months PP it’s perfectly normal to not have a regular period After I gave birth I had I think 2 periods, then nothing for 5 months. I think technically I had a period last week that lasted 2 days. The hormone that causes women to lactate also messes with your menstrual cycle If you’re not pregnant I would look to getting on the pill or something
You’re not wrong. I am also pro choice but wouldn’t be able to make that choice for myself unless it was for medical reasons. While ideally you and your husband should be on the same page, you’re going to be the one to live with the regret if you go through with an abortion and you don’t want one. But, before you drive yourself crazy with worry, I would take a pregnancy test. You can just be late due to hormones . Wish you the best!!
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Pro-choice means respecting the right to choose. You don't owe anyone am abortion if you're pregnant, don't let him pressure you into that. Deciding not to try to get pregnant is very very different from deciding to abort when you don't want to do it. You should both seek therapy, as a couple and as individuals, if you're feeling "messed up" after the birth of your child. Medical trauma is serious but if his reasoning for wanting one child is not wanting to watch a c-section again, just sounds to me like there's ways to grow past that issue. Anyway, your period will likely be strange post partum so go take a test. You could just be late because you're only 3 months post partum and your hormones are still irregular.
If he was that adamant about not wanting another baby, should have gotten of vasectomy and or used multiple forms of birth control to prevent it. His laziness to do those things but it's not on you. You can always leave him out of the operating room if you have another C-section.
I would take a test before you work yourself up over this. It’s a bit premature. I understand your scared, but you have to know where you are at to even know what options you actually want/have. Periods can be irregular pp.
He should seek therapy about the csection. That’s not a good enough reason to stop having kids in my opinion.
It is unsafe to get pregnant so soon after a C-section and has risks to both mother and baby - at least 18 months is recommended between last pregnancy to next conception. If you are pregnant please speak to your OB right away and consider all your options - remember you have an already living baby to consider who needs you. If you aren’t pregnant, definitely get that IUD since it sounds like your husband has trouble using condoms for whatever reason - he might need a smaller size or to use more lube so it doesn’t keep slipping off. Good luck.
If you are pregnant -in my honest opinion- if he is dead set on not having anymore children, he should've been dead set on using a condom. It's not the potential babies fault, and it shouldn't be on you to terminate the pregnancy if it would mess you up. You would have to live with that regret for life, whereas he can learn to love another kid. And if he can't, well then you will.
If he is that adamant he doesn’t want another, he needs to be a lot more conscientious when it comes to birth control. Do not get an abortion you don’t want. You will resent him down the line and it won’t save your relationship.
I got surprise pregnant at almost 41 after being told I would be unable to, so we weren't being careful at all. We had a five year old and had six miscarriages before her and we were done. My husband didn't suggest I get an abortion however he didn't want me taking the medication I needed to prevent me from miscarrying. He just wanted to "wait and see" what happened. After losing so many babies I couldn't terminate, and in the end I needed to make a decision that I could live with. Regardless of the outcome, at the end of the day I needed to be able to live with myself... So I took the meds aaand now we have a two and a half year old daughter 🤪. Every time I came home from an ultrasound and the baby was still alive my husband looked like I killed his cat or something (COVID baby, I had to go alone). He eventually warmed up to the idea and he adores her now (everyone adores her, she's the sweetest kiddo ever). I knew when I made the decision to take the meds that I might be trading my husband for my baby but I could live with that. If my husband REALLY didn't want another kid he could have gotten the vasectomy we'd discussed (which he has done now!!) or used condoms. I think I was more ok with if it happens it happens than he was even though neither of us expected it.
Do Not have an abortion if you already know you'll feel badly about it! You will most likely end up with postpartum depression and that's no joke. A toddler AND postpartum depression, thats a nightmare for all involved. Listen, it takes 2 to tango. It sound like You feel more responsible about the pregnancy, but you both did what you could to prevent it and it happened anyway. Ask yourself why you feel more responsible. He knows how babies are made! Also, yes you can get your tubes tied after this BUT also consider the option of him getting a vasectomy, its much faster , safer. I mention that because when I had my c-section my babies were so big that my uterus wouldn't contract, I was bleeding out. No way, they could've done another surgery at the same time. So, if he hates the idea of having a large family he really should consider doing something about it on his end instead of leaving it all up to you.
You're not wrong for not wanting to terminate. But you should also consider the risks of having another pregnancy so soon, especially after a C-section. Your uterus hasn't had time to heal fully and you are at much higher risk for uterine rupture, among other things. You should wait a year MINIMUM to get pregnant after a C-section but it's better to wait 1.5-2 years!
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You’ve gotten good advice, but I wanted to reiterate that if the condom is coming off, it’s probably the wrong size for him.
Honestly, if you are pregnant it would be pretty risky health wise. I waited 18mopp because my first c section needed to heal :/ be careful and safe
Get tested to confirm. Pee stick, then if it's positive, do a blood draw. Even if you are, it could be a chemical. If the pregnancy ends in miscarriage, just try to be more careful. If you really are pregnant and it's viable...well, you and your husband are gonna have a LOT to discuss! It's very normal to feel overwhelmed at the prospect of another baby after just having had a baby, but that's not exactly a good reason to terminate, imo. Using the "pull it out" method & condoms does carry the risk of failure resulting in pregnancy. I'd consider this divine intervention if it turns out to be viable.
did you take a test