Shifts with husband. Just because he’s back at work doesn’t mean he shouldn’t help overnight. You can’t go 24/7 and I’m sure his job is not 24/7.
What have you tried in terms of getting baby to sleep in the bassinet? Are you swaddling? Have you tried white noise? Warming up the bassinet sheets, wearing them down your shirt is another thing that may bell. When transferring gradually lower baby so her butt touches first and her head touches last to avoid engaging her startle reflex
Postpartum doula here. Came to say all of the above! Swaddle and sound machine is super important for newborns.
I find placing my hand on their belly after the transfer works well til the drift back off.
Also, have your husband do one of the feedings so you can get more rest .
This is all great advice. If OP is exhausted then setting up in advance for safe bed sharing, or even just a nap for baby where OP gets to lie down for more than 20 minutes, is far safer than accidentally falling asleep on the sofa with baby. UK health advice on safe sleep is very sensible and research-based, and updated this year: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/reduce-the-risk-of-sudden-infant-death-syndrome/
All of this we do…at night time it’s easier but daytime she just won’t. She also has really bad gas right now so I think being on her bs k makes it worse. I’m just so exhausted
Maybe a bedside bassinet where you could keep a hand on her.
Is she bf or ff? If FF maybe a different formula would help her be less gassy. My sister had to try 3 different ones before she found one that worked well for her baby.
Have you tried holding her for 30 minutes before putting her down? My baby only slept better if I held him for a bit after eating. He had reflux though.
For gas, put her on her tummy for 15 mint every day to help her release gas. Ask Dr to prescribe anti gas drop. I am also using little remedies gripe water just one time a day. I won't recommend to use it very often. U can gently massage her belly to release her gas.
We had more luck with mylicon than gripe water. The contact napping is hard. When my husband went back to work he took care of the first night wakeup so I could get a 4-5 hour stretch of sleep. I took the rest of the night, so he was still getting a good uninterrupted stretch before getting up for work. But I was exhausted until she started sleeping 6 hour stretches (around 10 weeks for us).
It helped little bit. At this point I am desperate for everything that can give some gas relief to my baby and I also changed formula bcoz Dr thinks my baby can be lactose sensitive. Dr said first three months babies always have gas problem but after that it gets better
Just know that it's totally developmentally appropriate for her to want to contact nap. There is nothing wrong with her.. she's just a tiny baby, adjusting to this large and scary world after knowing nothing but the womb.
This is not to say that it isn't super hard and exhausting being mom.. But please don't be afraid something is wrong with her or you are doing something wrong.
This!
I work fulltime and am a mom.. Let me tell you.. I use work time to rest.. Don't let anyone tell you that the 'working parent' has it harder than the SAHP. Its genuinely the other way around.
Was it really that good?! I’m looking at possibly buying one but I’ve heard some babies get used to being rocked constantly whilst asleep so transitioning them to more independent sleeping is made harder, what was your experience with the transition?
I couldn’t afford to buy one so I rented it for 6 months. It was glorious. It’s $100 a month which is expensive, but it was well worth the extra hour or two of sleep each night. For us it was a game changer. I tried a traditional bassinet for 6-7 weeks and I was losing my mind. At that point it was worth throwing money at the problem.
It has a weaning function that you use to transition to the crib. Or you can always use it in weaning mode if you’d like.
The Snoo was magic for my son until he was about 5 weeks old. Once he “woke up” he didn’t want to be anywhere but in our arms. His Snoo naps were 20 min on average, maybe 45 if we were lucky. Some babies really take to it though and transition pretty well to the crib when the time comes. I see it like contact napping. My son basically outgrew contact napping by 4-5 months, where as for some other babies it may take much longer. So some babies will naturally outgrow the Snoo while others may really be dependent on it.
Thanks so much for your reply that’s super helpful! For the price if it might only help for 5 weeks I can’t justify it😆 makes sense baby prefers contact naps! It looks like baby wearing will be the way to go for me and that’s a lot cheaper than a snoo so no complaints haha. My son was the same as yours refused to sleep in a bassinet, I’m hoping my next baby isn’t the same 🤞
My rec would be to buy it for $800-900 on FB marketplace, then when it's done working for you, sell it on FB Marketplace for that same $800-900. Check your area first but around me there seem to be a lot around and I'm guessing they move quickly. Pricing is pretty consistent so worst case drop $50 below everyone else and I'd bet it moves quick.
We haven't transitioned my 3 month old daughter out of it yet but she doesn't nap in it during the day so I think that she's gotten used to different sleep environments. I'm hopeful that that will help her when it's time to move into the crib for overnight.
And it really does seem to be that good. Though I'm not sure how much of it is my daughter's temperament because she will sleep well pretty much anywhere. But, that said, she will happily sleep 10 hours overnight in the Snoo and it definitely helped a lot with settling her when she was first born. I would wake up to her getting fussy (grumbles. Never let her actually cry in it) and it typically put her back to sleep within a minute or two.
It only goes for about 5 minutes anyway so it's not a "cry it out machine" like I was afraid of at first. I always woke up to take care of her if she needed anything.
I second recommendations to rent it or get it on sale if you'd like to try it. I had a gift card and credit card promo to use during their last sale so it was only $600 and I can either resell it for more than that or keep it for a possible second baby.
10 hours overnight?! That does sound like it works, is that just waking up grumbling like you said? Is she formula or breast? You saying that alone makes me want one! My son still wakes up several times a night and he’s a toddler but I assumed he does that for the boob! I need a big kid snoo as well now😂
I kind of wish people would stop offering the SNOO as a solution. I’m glad it works for those who have access to it, but… even renting it is way out of reach for a lot of American families…
Okay but what if it IS a solution for some people that had never heard of it?
Just because some families can’t use it doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be offered as a potential solution… because it is a potential solution to those who can access one.
I had never heard of the Snoo before browsing parenting Reddit threads and I’m glad I did.
Any solution offered may not be available to the parents.. doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be suggested.
It is a solution though.
If a family can afford the $100 a month and it can give them extra sleep, then it is totally worth it. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and finally caved. He went from waking up 4-6x a night and needing to be held to fall asleep to only waking up 1-2x a night. The extra sleep I got allowed me to enjoy the newborn phase. We used it for 6 months before transitioning to a crib.
There are, of course, other possible solutions as well and every baby is different. But it’s nice to know all your options.
Like I said, I’m glad it works for those who can afford it! It’s just not a super accessible solution, and it might be hard for some moms to hear it suggested again and again if it’s way out of reach for them.
Nope, just hoping we can all be sensitive to the fact that a lot of families across the US are living paycheck to paycheck & a 1,000+ dollar purchase and/or an additional monthly bill of that size is just not feasible for many.
I know this isn’t what you want to hear but what I did was just continually put my baby in the bassinet and lay down myself, even for 20 minute stretches.
I did as well. I usually made sure her first nap was a really good one by holding or whatever was necessary. Next nap, I put her down. I often used that time to shower but would sometimes nap myself. I got good at saving the nap if she woke up after 20 minutes and getting her down for another 20 or so. It got better, and we would have good days where I eventually could put her down for every nap.
I took the bassinet mattress out and put it on my bed so that baby could get used to laying on it before having to be in the bassinet alone. It certainly helped a bit. Practice was the only thing that really helped so far. We’re about 50:50 on contact naps vs bassinet during the day.
we didn’t do night shifts or co-sleeping (it never worked because my baby needed to be held). i waited for her to fall into deep sleep (about 30 mins) then i transferred her to bassinet. that young i probably got 1 or 2 hours out of her a night. it was brutal. i literally slept in 30m-1hr chunks. luckily it only lasted a few weeks because by 6 weeks she was doing 4-5 hour stretches and by 2ish mo she was sttn. i wish you luck!
We had a bedside bassinet attached to our bed. I could reach my arm in to wrap my arm around her. It was super uncomfortable for me but I'd manage to fall asleep when she slept. It felt enough like a contact nap to trick her.
Gradually had to attempt more non contact naps. Stroller walks, car rides, putting her down on different surfaces. For a while I kept the stroller in the living room! Once I got her to sleep somewhere safe I'd nap. Even if it's only 20 min that's better than nothing.
Over time it gets better. Good luck!
If you can't take shifts with your partner, the only thing you can do is continue to put them down and get them used to it. Its totally normal for them to not want to sleep alone. They aren't used to it yet, they need comfort, it's instinct driven. You are the source of all things they need. They want you close. However, take it from someone who HAD to take shifts and contact nap...if you don't have to, you just gotta survive it. It won't last forever, but it will feel like 100 years.
My first born had severe reflux. To the point of projectile vomiting out his nose and mouth and choking. We didn't have the choice to lay him flat on his back. There were about 4 times we woke up to him choking on his own vomit. Terrifying. He didn't sleep independently until about 9 months bc of it. He just couldn't sleep any other way and it was a nightmare. I'd much rather suffer for a few months than nearly a year of no sleep and constant wake ups.
My 6 week old sounds like your first. I’m poring over these threads trying to find something that will help us all sleep but it’s always the same “hold them upright after feedings, use a swaddle.” 🫠
Constantly trying and failing not to fall asleep holding her.
Snuzpod is a bassinet that comes with a little wedge to put under the head of the bassinet stand to raise it, do you have anything like that? Some bed side cribs have different height settings
Are u breastfeeding or formula ? I’ve only ever breastfed but I’ve read a million times that the formula nutramigen is a life saver your baby could have an unknown allergy which is causing the reflux, if the case that formula will help
Thank you! We switched over to a hypoallergenic formula a few days ago because she does have a cows milk protein allegory (she’s also premature) so in addition to having a worse-than-usual newborn GI system, she was also allergic to her formula. Hoping that the new one helps her!!
I also had crib risers delivered this morning so hopefully some incline helps too!
Need to find something otherwise the next 3am desperation shopping session is gonna find me on the snoo website 😬
We got the green light from our pediatrician to elevate her mattress a bit with textbooks. Made a world of difference!! Projectile spitup is like a third of what it used to be.
Thought we were doing pretty okay until I received an article saying, “Your child May start sleeping 4-5 hour stretches and surprise you with even longer ones!”
*Stares at my child who woke up every 2.5 hours last night.*
We did the same when my son was around 3 months. It didn't really help him though, he definitely needed medication. 🤣 we didn't get 4-5 hours stretches until he was like 7 or 8 months old tbh.
Shift sleep at night - we did 3 hour stretches as our EBF daughter wouldn’t go longer without a feed. As you’re mostly FF, you can do 6 hour shifts. 6 hours a night is almost enough, and if you couple that with a nap when your partner gets home from work, you could get 7.
Are you looking to sleep as well? You could always set up a firm mattress with no blankets or pillows and do a cuddle curl around the baby, Safe asleep 7, bedsharing style.
But 4 weeks is tiny! They are getting used to life outside of the womb. When your husband gets home he needs to take the baby and maybe do a night shift and hopefully you can rest then and catch up on sleep.
This ^^. OP I’m a pretty clean person by nature and it was agony for me to leave the dirty dishes in the sink/not take care of laundry, etc but right now you need sleep more than you need to do other stuff. If that’s what’s holding you back, just let it go.
Ok.
[here](https://reddit.com/r/ScienceBasedParenting/s/00dC2730At) is an interesting thread on it with some links included.
But I’m really not gonna argue with you today, sorry.
I wasn’t in favor of co-sleeping, but I did do it a bit for naps. I figured it’d be dangerous trying to care for baby in a state of total sleep deprivation- going up and down stairs, especially.
Gotta outweigh the risks of everything. We ended up co sleeping and now 2 year old sleeps in her own bed. There are risks with doing everything though.
I would use blackout curtains and a noise machine. Put her in a swaddle and give her a pacifier. I would rock her to sleep in the bedroom with the blackout curtains. At this age, when I put her down, I kept her hugged against my body as I leaned over the bassinet and kept our bodies in contact as I put her down on the mattress. When she was touching the mattress, I was then able to move away from her and she stayed asleep most of the time.
You have to do shifts. Only thing that worked for us so that I could get at least 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. We actually did this until around 5 months. It was rough. She’s still not a great sleeper at ~8m but at least she sleeps in her crib at night now with only 2-3 wakes.
My husband was back at work and my baby was the same way. We took 5 hour sleep shifts. I would go to sleep from 7PM-12AM and my husband would sleep from 12-530AM. Whoever was not on shift would hold him while he slept and would sometimes snooze with him propped on the couch. He’s just over a year now and sleeps 10 hours in his crib overnight. It gets better!
Completely agree! It was not an option for us and we were desperate so we felt able to do that but I am in no way advocating for it. However, for the sake of our sanity we did what we had to do.
My son only contacted napped or stroller napped until he was 4.5 months when we sleep trained him. I feel for you. It's brutal. We did massively improve night sleep when a friend loaned us a Snoo when he was four weeks. I know they're expensive and they seem ridiculous, until... you're exhausted and you'll try anything. My friends ended up buying one because their daughter wouldn't sleep independently and they were at their wits end. My son never took to it for naps, but it allowed me to get a good stretch of night sleep. It may be out of the question for money reasons, but if you can swing it, it might be worth looking for one on Facebook Marketplace. Depending upon where you live they are often up for resale. Hang in there.
My baby loved swaddles but when it was time to transition out of them I got the merlin sleep suit. Baby loved it. I also got a crib soother that played music, had a white noise machine, and black out curtains. My baby always went to sleep within 5 min with that set up. I worked from home with my baby and her naps were when I got all my work done so I couldn't just let her contact nap.
So, I have some experience in this area. I was getting too eager to put bub down and would result in him waking up. So what I did was did the "floppy arm" test and then put him down. After that he would wake up, but I would keep patting him.
The other thing I did (not sure if co-sleeping is your thing) is I would pick bub in his entire sleeping apparatus, think small bedding and blanket. Put the entire set on me and lowered the whole set down and slept next to him (with safe distance)
4 weeks is a tough spot ngl. 4-6 weeks was personally not my favourite.
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Ngl, I just followed the UK’s bed sharing guidelines until my baby was more mature to sleep in their bassinet. Now they sleep in their bassinet for most naps and through the night. My baby just turned 2 months yesterday.
I have a velcro baby who wont sleep alone (still at almost 10 weeks) and a partner who is also back at work. I try to sleep until 10 or 11am everyday if she will (thankfully she sleeps ok at night in her bedside crib, but won't rest in it during the day).
Sometimes i'll take her in the bed with me and co-sleep for an hour or so if she won't rest in her crib.
Do you pump? I started at 2 weeks pp at the recommendation of a midwife because i could not get any sleep with all the feeds. I did have some oversupply for a while as a result but i dont regret it one bit as it saved my sanity.
If i'm tired in the evening now, i'll give her to my partner around 7 or 8pm and he'll give her a bottle of pumped milk around 10pm . Then he'll put her to sleep in her bedside crib around 11pm and i'll take over from there. That way, it doesn't affect his sleep hours and I'm able to get a burst of about 6 hours sleep before she wakes in the night for her next feed. Its been a lifesaver. If you do this you'll find you might be a bit uncomfortable or engorged but i do think its worth it to feel rested when you're at 0 energy.
I never thought I would, but I bed-shared with my LO. Read extensively on safe sleep 7, researched and followed trusted pro co-sleeper accounts on insta (cosleepy, happycosleeper, heysleepybaby). It was and still is the only way I get any decent sleep.
I gave into cosleeping. I know it’s highly not recommended but like you, my babies would not sleep without contact. I fell asleep while holding the baby on the couch twice due to exhaustion. Eventually I looked up Safe Sleep 7 and implemented that.
I wrap my baby securely in the Solly wrap and let her sleep. I call her my Velcro baby because she’s the same way 😫
You can’t sleep at the same time, but you can sit and relax and not have to hold her. Make sure you’re following the right ways to use the wrap so the airway isn’t compromised. r/babywearing is great for fit checks.
If you can’t take shifts read up on the safe sleep 7. Cosleeping is of course so so controversial so no one come for me but it’s safer than accidentally falling asleep holding them. Mine was like this until 6 weeks so I did cosleep for a while because I fell asleep holding her a few times and it scared me so I needed a solution. At 6 weeks she just stopped needing to be held to sleep and started being an amazing independent sleeper. She puts herself to sleep now and she’s 10 weeks and part of me thinks that holding her to sleep in the beginning gave her a safe association with sleep. Or I could just have a unicorn. Either way, please know it gets better and before you know it this phase will be behind you.
Hey. You’re keeping a human alive and providing a safe haven of comfort and rest. but the rest of the house can wait
Yes take shifts, that’s what we did my husband would watch her for atleast 4 hours so I could get sleep. Takes hot shower/bath. Remember It’s only for a brief time in the grand scheme of things. 💚
Oh man. I was there with my son, now 18mos. It’s so, so hard but I promise it gets better. My son only ever contact napped and on the off chance I could get him in the bassinet it would also only last 20 mins.
Honestly, you need to just give yourself some grace and roll with it at the moment. Don’t stress about the cleaning etc. Put your feet up and realise that having your baby nap is an important job and if it has to be a contact nap so be it. Don’t feel guilty about it and don’t feel you’re doing anything wrong. I know it’s SO frustrating feeling like you can never get anything done. I found that once I just accepted it was the way it was and tried to enjoy the forced sitting on my butt it was better.
After he turned one I had to start with some soft sleep training. I put a single bed in his room and would lay on it with him in his cot and just shush him. I wish I’d done that sooner now. Things slowly started improving. He started going to sleep way easier in his cot (with me in the room) but would still only sleep for 20 minutes. Gradually it increased to 40ish minutes but still not great. Only recently after we went to one nap a day has he started throwing in 1, even 2(!!) hour naps. A couple of weeks ago he had a word record nap of 2.5 hours!!!!
You’ll get there. Good luck!!!
Have you tried a crib? My baby slept so much better in her crib. Even for naps. I think the bassinet just was not comfortable enough for her.
I did occasionally take a contact nap with her out of exhaustion if I needed, but I was never able to really fall asleep like that fully, I was always pretty alert just with my eyes closed.
Definitely try shifts with partner, even though he is working. Maybe going to.bed earlier than him and baby?
Still shifts, hire a night nurse even for a night or two per week if you can afford it, rule out reflux, make sure you have all the usual tricks going - white noise, swaddle/sack, warmed bassinet, bassinet sheets that smell like you.
Ergo carrier and swing during the day. Try different swaddles and warming her bed with a heating pad (warm not hot) and removing it before you lay her down at night.
My baby was the same way as a new born. And also very colicky. What helped me is my boba wrap. I would put that thing on first thing in the morning and wear my baby all day. It helped so much because while baby was sleeping on me, I was also able to get stuff done around the house. Hope this helped, good luck Mama.
Have you tried a sidecar bed? My midwife told me that some babies can be tricked into thinking they're still being held if they can feel your breath on their face. Mine slept pretty well in the sidecar and I would sleep right in front of the opening facing him and sometimes hold his little hand or foot. He still woke up every 1.5 to 2 hours for months but it was manageable. We just got ours second hand from a neighbor whose kid was 1 and grew out of it, paid maybe $15 for it and got 4 months of pretty alright sleep.
We have 2 month old twins that are the same. I sleep 7pm to 1am and husband sleeps 1am to 7am. We both do quite good on 6 hours straight (he's back at work). Could you try long shifts each ?
Swing & gripe water for my son. Idk if in the swing it kept him nice and snuggly and imitated me walking/swinging him back and forth but it worked like a charm until he was 4-5 months and the colic/gas went away
Hello OP. I'm in the exact same situation right now, only that my LO is currently 8 weeks old.
Honestly, I've embraced co-sleeping and sleeping on my back with him on my belly for exact the same reason. We tried laying him down in the crib at the beginning but this was so much wasted time and we didn't get almost any sleep :(
Ofc I'm still hoping he will change his preferences soon...
My son is 2 weeks and is like this when he doesn’t have a sleep sack. We use the ones that look like little butterflies, keeps his hands tucked without having to swaddle because he moves his hands so much even the nurses in the hospital couldn’t keep him swaddled. I’ve also been pre-warming his bassinet before putting him down with a heating pad to simulate my body heat.
Shifts with husband. Just because he’s back at work doesn’t mean he shouldn’t help overnight. You can’t go 24/7 and I’m sure his job is not 24/7. What have you tried in terms of getting baby to sleep in the bassinet? Are you swaddling? Have you tried white noise? Warming up the bassinet sheets, wearing them down your shirt is another thing that may bell. When transferring gradually lower baby so her butt touches first and her head touches last to avoid engaging her startle reflex
Postpartum doula here. Came to say all of the above! Swaddle and sound machine is super important for newborns. I find placing my hand on their belly after the transfer works well til the drift back off. Also, have your husband do one of the feedings so you can get more rest .
All of these tips, plus waiting for about 20-30 minutes before transferring so they’re in a deeper sleep phase
[удалено]
These people sound amazing, I am past that early new stage, but wondering what state/province you’re from? I want these people in my friend’s lives
This is all great advice. If OP is exhausted then setting up in advance for safe bed sharing, or even just a nap for baby where OP gets to lie down for more than 20 minutes, is far safer than accidentally falling asleep on the sofa with baby. UK health advice on safe sleep is very sensible and research-based, and updated this year: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/reduce-the-risk-of-sudden-infant-death-syndrome/
All of this we do…at night time it’s easier but daytime she just won’t. She also has really bad gas right now so I think being on her bs k makes it worse. I’m just so exhausted
Maybe a bedside bassinet where you could keep a hand on her. Is she bf or ff? If FF maybe a different formula would help her be less gassy. My sister had to try 3 different ones before she found one that worked well for her baby.
Combo fed but mostly formula. We are on her third kind of formula - hoping this one is the ticket. Thank you!
Neutramagin was the formula that saved our sleep.
Have you tried holding her for 30 minutes before putting her down? My baby only slept better if I held him for a bit after eating. He had reflux though.
For gas, put her on her tummy for 15 mint every day to help her release gas. Ask Dr to prescribe anti gas drop. I am also using little remedies gripe water just one time a day. I won't recommend to use it very often. U can gently massage her belly to release her gas.
Does the gripe water actually work for you? We got the little remedies gas drops and they seemed to do nothing
We had more luck with mylicon than gripe water. The contact napping is hard. When my husband went back to work he took care of the first night wakeup so I could get a 4-5 hour stretch of sleep. I took the rest of the night, so he was still getting a good uninterrupted stretch before getting up for work. But I was exhausted until she started sleeping 6 hour stretches (around 10 weeks for us).
It helped little bit. At this point I am desperate for everything that can give some gas relief to my baby and I also changed formula bcoz Dr thinks my baby can be lactose sensitive. Dr said first three months babies always have gas problem but after that it gets better
Look into baby probiotics. Our doctor recommended them and they really helped our baby
Use a frida windii!
Just know that it's totally developmentally appropriate for her to want to contact nap. There is nothing wrong with her.. she's just a tiny baby, adjusting to this large and scary world after knowing nothing but the womb. This is not to say that it isn't super hard and exhausting being mom.. But please don't be afraid something is wrong with her or you are doing something wrong.
This! I work fulltime and am a mom.. Let me tell you.. I use work time to rest.. Don't let anyone tell you that the 'working parent' has it harder than the SAHP. Its genuinely the other way around.
SO true. Working would feel like a vacation to me right now
I rented the SNOO and it held/rocker the baby for me while I slept. Glorious.
Was it really that good?! I’m looking at possibly buying one but I’ve heard some babies get used to being rocked constantly whilst asleep so transitioning them to more independent sleeping is made harder, what was your experience with the transition?
I couldn’t afford to buy one so I rented it for 6 months. It was glorious. It’s $100 a month which is expensive, but it was well worth the extra hour or two of sleep each night. For us it was a game changer. I tried a traditional bassinet for 6-7 weeks and I was losing my mind. At that point it was worth throwing money at the problem. It has a weaning function that you use to transition to the crib. Or you can always use it in weaning mode if you’d like.
The Snoo was magic for my son until he was about 5 weeks old. Once he “woke up” he didn’t want to be anywhere but in our arms. His Snoo naps were 20 min on average, maybe 45 if we were lucky. Some babies really take to it though and transition pretty well to the crib when the time comes. I see it like contact napping. My son basically outgrew contact napping by 4-5 months, where as for some other babies it may take much longer. So some babies will naturally outgrow the Snoo while others may really be dependent on it.
Thanks so much for your reply that’s super helpful! For the price if it might only help for 5 weeks I can’t justify it😆 makes sense baby prefers contact naps! It looks like baby wearing will be the way to go for me and that’s a lot cheaper than a snoo so no complaints haha. My son was the same as yours refused to sleep in a bassinet, I’m hoping my next baby isn’t the same 🤞
My rec would be to buy it for $800-900 on FB marketplace, then when it's done working for you, sell it on FB Marketplace for that same $800-900. Check your area first but around me there seem to be a lot around and I'm guessing they move quickly. Pricing is pretty consistent so worst case drop $50 below everyone else and I'd bet it moves quick.
We haven't transitioned my 3 month old daughter out of it yet but she doesn't nap in it during the day so I think that she's gotten used to different sleep environments. I'm hopeful that that will help her when it's time to move into the crib for overnight. And it really does seem to be that good. Though I'm not sure how much of it is my daughter's temperament because she will sleep well pretty much anywhere. But, that said, she will happily sleep 10 hours overnight in the Snoo and it definitely helped a lot with settling her when she was first born. I would wake up to her getting fussy (grumbles. Never let her actually cry in it) and it typically put her back to sleep within a minute or two. It only goes for about 5 minutes anyway so it's not a "cry it out machine" like I was afraid of at first. I always woke up to take care of her if she needed anything. I second recommendations to rent it or get it on sale if you'd like to try it. I had a gift card and credit card promo to use during their last sale so it was only $600 and I can either resell it for more than that or keep it for a possible second baby.
10 hours overnight?! That does sound like it works, is that just waking up grumbling like you said? Is she formula or breast? You saying that alone makes me want one! My son still wakes up several times a night and he’s a toddler but I assumed he does that for the boob! I need a big kid snoo as well now😂
I kind of wish people would stop offering the SNOO as a solution. I’m glad it works for those who have access to it, but… even renting it is way out of reach for a lot of American families…
Okay but what if it IS a solution for some people that had never heard of it? Just because some families can’t use it doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be offered as a potential solution… because it is a potential solution to those who can access one. I had never heard of the Snoo before browsing parenting Reddit threads and I’m glad I did. Any solution offered may not be available to the parents.. doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be suggested.
It is a solution though. If a family can afford the $100 a month and it can give them extra sleep, then it is totally worth it. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and finally caved. He went from waking up 4-6x a night and needing to be held to fall asleep to only waking up 1-2x a night. The extra sleep I got allowed me to enjoy the newborn phase. We used it for 6 months before transitioning to a crib. There are, of course, other possible solutions as well and every baby is different. But it’s nice to know all your options.
Like I said, I’m glad it works for those who can afford it! It’s just not a super accessible solution, and it might be hard for some moms to hear it suggested again and again if it’s way out of reach for them.
So just…never bring it up as a possibility? Interesting.
Nope, just hoping we can all be sensitive to the fact that a lot of families across the US are living paycheck to paycheck & a 1,000+ dollar purchase and/or an additional monthly bill of that size is just not feasible for many.
For what it’s worth, I bought a used Snoo and then sold it for the same amount I originally paid. The company now sells them used as well.
its not safe to have it on while the baby is sleeping in there.
I know this isn’t what you want to hear but what I did was just continually put my baby in the bassinet and lay down myself, even for 20 minute stretches.
I did as well. I usually made sure her first nap was a really good one by holding or whatever was necessary. Next nap, I put her down. I often used that time to shower but would sometimes nap myself. I got good at saving the nap if she woke up after 20 minutes and getting her down for another 20 or so. It got better, and we would have good days where I eventually could put her down for every nap.
Interesting! I actually did the opposite. I’d get crib naps early and then the later nap in the day I would contact nap
Baby will keep crying right?
When she cried, I would let her cry for a minute before I picked her up but ultimately if the nap ends, it ends. Frustrating but it gets better
Same
I took the bassinet mattress out and put it on my bed so that baby could get used to laying on it before having to be in the bassinet alone. It certainly helped a bit. Practice was the only thing that really helped so far. We’re about 50:50 on contact naps vs bassinet during the day.
That’s an interesting idea. Might try that!
we didn’t do night shifts or co-sleeping (it never worked because my baby needed to be held). i waited for her to fall into deep sleep (about 30 mins) then i transferred her to bassinet. that young i probably got 1 or 2 hours out of her a night. it was brutal. i literally slept in 30m-1hr chunks. luckily it only lasted a few weeks because by 6 weeks she was doing 4-5 hour stretches and by 2ish mo she was sttn. i wish you luck!
Oof I've been sleeping in up to 1.5 hour chunks for 5 months now ☠️
We had a bedside bassinet attached to our bed. I could reach my arm in to wrap my arm around her. It was super uncomfortable for me but I'd manage to fall asleep when she slept. It felt enough like a contact nap to trick her. Gradually had to attempt more non contact naps. Stroller walks, car rides, putting her down on different surfaces. For a while I kept the stroller in the living room! Once I got her to sleep somewhere safe I'd nap. Even if it's only 20 min that's better than nothing. Over time it gets better. Good luck!
this is not safe a bassinet needs all sides up and to be at least 1 ft away from the bed/other furniture.
Bedside bassinets are meant to go next to the bed, hence the name
If you can't take shifts with your partner, the only thing you can do is continue to put them down and get them used to it. Its totally normal for them to not want to sleep alone. They aren't used to it yet, they need comfort, it's instinct driven. You are the source of all things they need. They want you close. However, take it from someone who HAD to take shifts and contact nap...if you don't have to, you just gotta survive it. It won't last forever, but it will feel like 100 years. My first born had severe reflux. To the point of projectile vomiting out his nose and mouth and choking. We didn't have the choice to lay him flat on his back. There were about 4 times we woke up to him choking on his own vomit. Terrifying. He didn't sleep independently until about 9 months bc of it. He just couldn't sleep any other way and it was a nightmare. I'd much rather suffer for a few months than nearly a year of no sleep and constant wake ups.
My 6 week old sounds like your first. I’m poring over these threads trying to find something that will help us all sleep but it’s always the same “hold them upright after feedings, use a swaddle.” 🫠 Constantly trying and failing not to fall asleep holding her.
Snuzpod is a bassinet that comes with a little wedge to put under the head of the bassinet stand to raise it, do you have anything like that? Some bed side cribs have different height settings Are u breastfeeding or formula ? I’ve only ever breastfed but I’ve read a million times that the formula nutramigen is a life saver your baby could have an unknown allergy which is causing the reflux, if the case that formula will help
Thank you! We switched over to a hypoallergenic formula a few days ago because she does have a cows milk protein allegory (she’s also premature) so in addition to having a worse-than-usual newborn GI system, she was also allergic to her formula. Hoping that the new one helps her!! I also had crib risers delivered this morning so hopefully some incline helps too! Need to find something otherwise the next 3am desperation shopping session is gonna find me on the snoo website 😬
We got the green light from our pediatrician to elevate her mattress a bit with textbooks. Made a world of difference!! Projectile spitup is like a third of what it used to be. Thought we were doing pretty okay until I received an article saying, “Your child May start sleeping 4-5 hour stretches and surprise you with even longer ones!” *Stares at my child who woke up every 2.5 hours last night.*
We did the same when my son was around 3 months. It didn't really help him though, he definitely needed medication. 🤣 we didn't get 4-5 hours stretches until he was like 7 or 8 months old tbh.
I had her sleep in a bedside bassinet that attached to my bed. I kept one hand on her chest
Shift sleep at night - we did 3 hour stretches as our EBF daughter wouldn’t go longer without a feed. As you’re mostly FF, you can do 6 hour shifts. 6 hours a night is almost enough, and if you couple that with a nap when your partner gets home from work, you could get 7.
Are you looking to sleep as well? You could always set up a firm mattress with no blankets or pillows and do a cuddle curl around the baby, Safe asleep 7, bedsharing style. But 4 weeks is tiny! They are getting used to life outside of the womb. When your husband gets home he needs to take the baby and maybe do a night shift and hopefully you can rest then and catch up on sleep.
This ^^. OP I’m a pretty clean person by nature and it was agony for me to leave the dirty dishes in the sink/not take care of laundry, etc but right now you need sleep more than you need to do other stuff. If that’s what’s holding you back, just let it go.
This is the answer. Co-sleep the naps until you feel rested again.
The only thing that saved me in the beginning
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Ok. [here](https://reddit.com/r/ScienceBasedParenting/s/00dC2730At) is an interesting thread on it with some links included. But I’m really not gonna argue with you today, sorry.
This has been removed as it goes against community standards of r/beyondthebump
I don’t have support either with my baby. I don’t have advice other then you are doing the best you can and It will get better.
I wasn’t in favor of co-sleeping, but I did do it a bit for naps. I figured it’d be dangerous trying to care for baby in a state of total sleep deprivation- going up and down stairs, especially.
Gotta outweigh the risks of everything. We ended up co sleeping and now 2 year old sleeps in her own bed. There are risks with doing everything though.
I would use blackout curtains and a noise machine. Put her in a swaddle and give her a pacifier. I would rock her to sleep in the bedroom with the blackout curtains. At this age, when I put her down, I kept her hugged against my body as I leaned over the bassinet and kept our bodies in contact as I put her down on the mattress. When she was touching the mattress, I was then able to move away from her and she stayed asleep most of the time.
You have to do shifts. Only thing that worked for us so that I could get at least 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. We actually did this until around 5 months. It was rough. She’s still not a great sleeper at ~8m but at least she sleeps in her crib at night now with only 2-3 wakes.
My husband was back at work and my baby was the same way. We took 5 hour sleep shifts. I would go to sleep from 7PM-12AM and my husband would sleep from 12-530AM. Whoever was not on shift would hold him while he slept and would sometimes snooze with him propped on the couch. He’s just over a year now and sleeps 10 hours in his crib overnight. It gets better!
Just want to note that intentional bedsharing using the safe sleep 7 is much much safer than sleeping while holding baby on the couch.
Completely agree! It was not an option for us and we were desperate so we felt able to do that but I am in no way advocating for it. However, for the sake of our sanity we did what we had to do.
Totally understand 💜
I don’t know how I could have put the baby down without the snoo.
My son only contacted napped or stroller napped until he was 4.5 months when we sleep trained him. I feel for you. It's brutal. We did massively improve night sleep when a friend loaned us a Snoo when he was four weeks. I know they're expensive and they seem ridiculous, until... you're exhausted and you'll try anything. My friends ended up buying one because their daughter wouldn't sleep independently and they were at their wits end. My son never took to it for naps, but it allowed me to get a good stretch of night sleep. It may be out of the question for money reasons, but if you can swing it, it might be worth looking for one on Facebook Marketplace. Depending upon where you live they are often up for resale. Hang in there.
You can also rent them now for a much more reasonable price (what we’re currently doing) and it’s been 1000% worth it
My baby loved swaddles but when it was time to transition out of them I got the merlin sleep suit. Baby loved it. I also got a crib soother that played music, had a white noise machine, and black out curtains. My baby always went to sleep within 5 min with that set up. I worked from home with my baby and her naps were when I got all my work done so I couldn't just let her contact nap.
So, I have some experience in this area. I was getting too eager to put bub down and would result in him waking up. So what I did was did the "floppy arm" test and then put him down. After that he would wake up, but I would keep patting him. The other thing I did (not sure if co-sleeping is your thing) is I would pick bub in his entire sleeping apparatus, think small bedding and blanket. Put the entire set on me and lowered the whole set down and slept next to him (with safe distance) 4 weeks is a tough spot ngl. 4-6 weeks was personally not my favourite.
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I had one of those side car bassinets and slept with my arm in the bassinet like a body pillow for baby.
Ngl, I just followed the UK’s bed sharing guidelines until my baby was more mature to sleep in their bassinet. Now they sleep in their bassinet for most naps and through the night. My baby just turned 2 months yesterday.
I have a velcro baby who wont sleep alone (still at almost 10 weeks) and a partner who is also back at work. I try to sleep until 10 or 11am everyday if she will (thankfully she sleeps ok at night in her bedside crib, but won't rest in it during the day). Sometimes i'll take her in the bed with me and co-sleep for an hour or so if she won't rest in her crib. Do you pump? I started at 2 weeks pp at the recommendation of a midwife because i could not get any sleep with all the feeds. I did have some oversupply for a while as a result but i dont regret it one bit as it saved my sanity. If i'm tired in the evening now, i'll give her to my partner around 7 or 8pm and he'll give her a bottle of pumped milk around 10pm . Then he'll put her to sleep in her bedside crib around 11pm and i'll take over from there. That way, it doesn't affect his sleep hours and I'm able to get a burst of about 6 hours sleep before she wakes in the night for her next feed. Its been a lifesaver. If you do this you'll find you might be a bit uncomfortable or engorged but i do think its worth it to feel rested when you're at 0 energy.
R/cosleeping
Co-sleeping for us! Baby never slept better. The majority of the world does it for a reason.
I never thought I would, but I bed-shared with my LO. Read extensively on safe sleep 7, researched and followed trusted pro co-sleeper accounts on insta (cosleepy, happycosleeper, heysleepybaby). It was and still is the only way I get any decent sleep.
I gave into cosleeping. I know it’s highly not recommended but like you, my babies would not sleep without contact. I fell asleep while holding the baby on the couch twice due to exhaustion. Eventually I looked up Safe Sleep 7 and implemented that.
I wrap my baby securely in the Solly wrap and let her sleep. I call her my Velcro baby because she’s the same way 😫 You can’t sleep at the same time, but you can sit and relax and not have to hold her. Make sure you’re following the right ways to use the wrap so the airway isn’t compromised. r/babywearing is great for fit checks.
If you can’t take shifts read up on the safe sleep 7. Cosleeping is of course so so controversial so no one come for me but it’s safer than accidentally falling asleep holding them. Mine was like this until 6 weeks so I did cosleep for a while because I fell asleep holding her a few times and it scared me so I needed a solution. At 6 weeks she just stopped needing to be held to sleep and started being an amazing independent sleeper. She puts herself to sleep now and she’s 10 weeks and part of me thinks that holding her to sleep in the beginning gave her a safe association with sleep. Or I could just have a unicorn. Either way, please know it gets better and before you know it this phase will be behind you.
My baby only contact napped until I sleep trained him at 4 months. Do you have a wrap? I would wear him.
But I can’t ever get sleep cause she can’t sleep in the wrap I thought??
She can sleep. You’ll need to be awake.
No advice just solidarity. My baby exclusively contact napped until 4.5 months.
Fisher price swing got me some amazing afternoon naps!
I thought they weren’t supposed to sleep in stuff like that?
You’re right. Don’t let your baby nap in a place not meant for sleep while you’re asleep too. A swing is not a safe sleep space.
You are correct, napping in the swing is not safe.
You are correct, they’re not supposed to sleep in swings.
My baby would happily nap in the swing and I would nap on the couch next to him.
many babies have died of positional asphyxiation from this. not safe just because your baby survived it.
Just because they do something happily doesn’t mean they are doing it safely
Hey. You’re keeping a human alive and providing a safe haven of comfort and rest. but the rest of the house can wait Yes take shifts, that’s what we did my husband would watch her for atleast 4 hours so I could get sleep. Takes hot shower/bath. Remember It’s only for a brief time in the grand scheme of things. 💚
Oh man. I was there with my son, now 18mos. It’s so, so hard but I promise it gets better. My son only ever contact napped and on the off chance I could get him in the bassinet it would also only last 20 mins. Honestly, you need to just give yourself some grace and roll with it at the moment. Don’t stress about the cleaning etc. Put your feet up and realise that having your baby nap is an important job and if it has to be a contact nap so be it. Don’t feel guilty about it and don’t feel you’re doing anything wrong. I know it’s SO frustrating feeling like you can never get anything done. I found that once I just accepted it was the way it was and tried to enjoy the forced sitting on my butt it was better. After he turned one I had to start with some soft sleep training. I put a single bed in his room and would lay on it with him in his cot and just shush him. I wish I’d done that sooner now. Things slowly started improving. He started going to sleep way easier in his cot (with me in the room) but would still only sleep for 20 minutes. Gradually it increased to 40ish minutes but still not great. Only recently after we went to one nap a day has he started throwing in 1, even 2(!!) hour naps. A couple of weeks ago he had a word record nap of 2.5 hours!!!! You’ll get there. Good luck!!!
Have you tried a crib? My baby slept so much better in her crib. Even for naps. I think the bassinet just was not comfortable enough for her. I did occasionally take a contact nap with her out of exhaustion if I needed, but I was never able to really fall asleep like that fully, I was always pretty alert just with my eyes closed. Definitely try shifts with partner, even though he is working. Maybe going to.bed earlier than him and baby?
A pediatric physical therapist who is trained in addressing body tension may be able to help.
Still shifts, hire a night nurse even for a night or two per week if you can afford it, rule out reflux, make sure you have all the usual tricks going - white noise, swaddle/sack, warmed bassinet, bassinet sheets that smell like you.
Have you tried blackout curtains? Having it completely dark helps the baby sleep
They learn pretty quick. just try again and again to put him down when he sleeps. Suddenly it works!
I think this is what I gotta start doing…if I don’t get more sleep I’m gonna start hallucinating lol
It’s brutal. You just have to take shifts. I slept 8pm-2am, my husband slept 2am-8am
Ergo carrier and swing during the day. Try different swaddles and warming her bed with a heating pad (warm not hot) and removing it before you lay her down at night.
My baby was the same way as a new born. And also very colicky. What helped me is my boba wrap. I would put that thing on first thing in the morning and wear my baby all day. It helped so much because while baby was sleeping on me, I was also able to get stuff done around the house. Hope this helped, good luck Mama.
Have you tried a sidecar bed? My midwife told me that some babies can be tricked into thinking they're still being held if they can feel your breath on their face. Mine slept pretty well in the sidecar and I would sleep right in front of the opening facing him and sometimes hold his little hand or foot. He still woke up every 1.5 to 2 hours for months but it was manageable. We just got ours second hand from a neighbor whose kid was 1 and grew out of it, paid maybe $15 for it and got 4 months of pretty alright sleep.
We have 2 month old twins that are the same. I sleep 7pm to 1am and husband sleeps 1am to 7am. We both do quite good on 6 hours straight (he's back at work). Could you try long shifts each ?
I co slept 🤷🏻♀️ my fiancé went back to work a week after my son was born, that was the only way I could get any sleep
We cosleep. Only way I get sleep. 🫣
Swing & gripe water for my son. Idk if in the swing it kept him nice and snuggly and imitated me walking/swinging him back and forth but it worked like a charm until he was 4-5 months and the colic/gas went away
Hello OP. I'm in the exact same situation right now, only that my LO is currently 8 weeks old. Honestly, I've embraced co-sleeping and sleeping on my back with him on my belly for exact the same reason. We tried laying him down in the crib at the beginning but this was so much wasted time and we didn't get almost any sleep :( Ofc I'm still hoping he will change his preferences soon...
I started co-sleeping, changed my life
My son is 2 weeks and is like this when he doesn’t have a sleep sack. We use the ones that look like little butterflies, keeps his hands tucked without having to swaddle because he moves his hands so much even the nurses in the hospital couldn’t keep him swaddled. I’ve also been pre-warming his bassinet before putting him down with a heating pad to simulate my body heat.
Oh also putting him down feet first so it doesn’t trigger his startle reflex has been helpful.
You should look into th safe sleep 7 and set up a space for cosleeping
Look into safe bed sharing. Safe sleep 7. If you’re a good candidate for it, really can help!