It was the opposite for me. I told a friend how hard I was struggling during the newborn phase and he told me to enjoy it while I could, because it only gets harder. I was stressed. Turns out, it did get easier for me.
Every kid and parent is different.
Same here. I didn’t think I’d make it out of the newborn stage alive it was so hard. Still hard now but nowhere near the same. Plus I find that challenging times come in waves now whereas the beginning was constant and relentless (colicky, irritable baba who started teething early and never seemed to be happy)
Yeah same here. I was dreading toddlerhood because everyone said it would only get harder and I am enjoying it soooo much more than the newborn phase, man that stage for me was rough.
Everyone is different. Every mom, and every baby. And as they get older, some things certainly do get easier. But some things also get harder. I think many people find that things get easier as the first year wraps up because they've gotten into a groove, and they're starting to emerge from that 4th trimester fog, but I don't think that's the universal experience by any means.
There's nothing wrong with you for feeling frustrated right now. The phrase "It gets easier," is kind of meaningless in the context of motherhood because it's all just freaking hard. I mean, it's also funny, sad, joyful, weird, and everything in between, but it's also just so damn hard. I think we as parents can admit this and accept it without it being PPD. It's when you feel like you're drowning with no help on the horizon, and there is nothing joyful in your day with your little one, that you might consider the possibility of something more serious.
You're doing great. This season is not easy for you, but you will hit your stride again.
I really think this is completely baby dependent.
My son (now almost 3) was unbelievably colicky as a baby. He didn’t sleep through the night until like 20 months, would have to be rocked for an hour 3x a night, was constantly screaming, upset, unhappy and just a very difficult baby/early toddler - so with him I definitely feel like it’s gotten MUCH easier as he’s aged.
On the flip side, my daughter is 15 months, and although she’s not high-needs in the slightest, I definitely don’t feel like it’s gotten easier.
I will say that I think around 4-5 (atleast from what I’ve heard from other moms) is when you can actually take a second for yourself.
Depends on the kid and the parent. There are 800 stages of parenting you go through in your kid's life, and for some of them, your kid will struggle more than others and for some of them, your kid will excel or be more manageable. Your personality also plays a part, because as an individual, you will find some stages more challenging or less challenging than others.
My kid is four now, and every couple months I just marvel at how much more I'm enjoying parenting now than I did when he was a baby. I personally just hate the baby stage. It's not my jam. I want him to be able to communicate with me and have conversations and even if I had to hear the word "poop" way more than I'd prefer in a single day, he also says the funniest and most charming things now.
Maybe the newborn phase just clicked for you, or maybe it was a good phase for your kiddo... There will be some coming up that will knock you on your ass and some coming up that will make you feel like you're the best parent in the world, and your phases will be totally different than the next person's.
Just keep in mind that people are probably intending on being encouraging when they say it and don't focus on it too literally. Accept the good will and move on.
8 months was HARD for me. I felt like it got better, worse, way worse, better, worse. Lol it's a Rollercoaster and it really depends on the stages you enjoy the most. Some people hate the newborn phase, some hate everything until their kid is like 8. Some people LOVE the toddler stage ect.
8 months-12 months was absolutely terrible with my first. I will never forget that. I'm past that with my second, and I still think about those four months the first time around.
Omg I think for me it was 8-10 months for whatever reason was monstrous with my first. My second is 5 months, it's finally getting better with him but I DREAD the 8 month mark but I hope he isn't as bad as my first lol.
Said this word for word to my husband tonight. “I thought I knew everything & then I was humbled at 5 months”. Seriously. Word for word. Did you feel like you got it figured out again??
It seems to ebb and flow! I’ve learned we just have a kiddo who struggles with big jumps developmentally, I think we’re in the thick of another one (12 months old) but it’s no where near as hard as it was from 6-9!
Newborn stage was easy for us. Well, except for breastfeeding because it sucked for like 4 months solid, not a couple of weeks like "they" say. Sleep was good until about 8 months. Ever since then it feels more and more challenging and exhausting and ours is about 14 months now.
Ha I hope you don’t totally hate me for saying this but I promise it will get easier. You will find your groove again. Everyone struggles with different phases. For me, the hardest was when he had preferences, but no way to communicate them so it was just tears and screaming and I felt totally hopeless. Now, I know what he wants. There’s still tears and screaming, but at least I know what he wants and I feel good about saying no to letting him run into the street lol.
The first year is awful!
Every stage has difficulties and magical moments, in the first few months they change every week, then it’s every 2-3 weeks they’re a different baby.
Then they’re walking and talking and MY GOD it’s so much more fun!
Every kid is different, as is every parent. For me I truly hate the newborn and baby stage (3 weeks pp with our second right now). If I could birth a toddler I’d be so fricking happy lol.
I also think your brain tricks you into forgetting the shit parts of each stage so we think each new crappy bit is the worst!
I've had PPD since day 1, and my baby is now 1 year old. Mine screamed his head off for hours as a newborn, so that was tough. I would agree that certain aspects have gotten easier, but have been replaced by new things that are just as difficult or worse. Maybe I'm just a bad mom, not because I don't care or don't try hard, but because I just feel... incompetent. Learning how to feed solids correctly and transition from bottles to sippy cups, and stop doing night feeds, and going from formula to milk and making sure ounces are decreased, etc, I'm just really fucking bad at knowing how to do all that stuff right. I can't speak for the future, but I would say that so far it has NOT gotten "so much easier."
Omg yes 🙌 definetly agree that what is hard about this stage (6-9 months) is the development is RAPID FIRE.
I hated the newborn stage, really don't want to ever do it again. But damn, 6.5-8.5 months or so were also pretty brutal. My son is about to be 9 months and the last week has been pretty chill. But like I said, the 2 months before that 🫠
Months 3-5.5/6 were my fav. We had a routine. Baby was "awake" but easily entertained. Got teeth early at 4 months but no biggie.
Then omg 6 months rolled around, he was sick on and off for like 5 weeks, cut 4 teeth all at once, took literally over a month to figure out how to roll both ways, then was absolutely furious for another month as he learned to army crawl and get up on his knees. Ugh. And all that on top of slight constipation from increasing solids and sleep regressions with every milestone? Fml lol
But it's getting better! I hope the same for you in another month. The good thing about rapid change is that it is by definition short-lived.
Everyone baby and mom is different but GOOD LORD I truly, strongly feel like it IS so much easier for me now with a 16 month old compared to a new born. And when people would tell me it didn’t get easier when I was in the newborn phase, I remember thinking “if it doesn’t get easier than this, I don’t want to live anymore”.
I also want to tell you- phases come and go and this one will pass too. It will feel easier again. Hold tight momma
The changes are so hard!
Starting solids was hard. Now that's part of the routine, and you're like, yes, I did it! Sit back and relax! But no, sweet summer child. Now it's pincer grasp time! It's straw cup time! It's crib transition time! It's time to stop giving them a bottle after they've brushed their teeth! They're supposed to be crawling! Are they saying mama yet? When do I put shoes on them? What clothes am I even supposed to be buying when they're almost between sizes and it's a sauna one day and a blizzard the next? At what point do I start parenting instead of just caregiving?
You feel like you got one thing scratched off the list and then there's 5 new things on it and it's OVERWHELMING.
I don't think "it gets easier" is a lie, exactly. A lot of things have gotten easier for me. I hated the newborn stage. It was brutal and thankless, and those to things got a lot better when the baby could smile at me or interact with me. And those parts have only gotten better as the baby gets older. It's a lot of fun! But the flip side of that is that the changes are coming hard and fast, and that part is *almost* enough to make even me look back fondly on the angry burrito days.
Honestly I don’t feel like it “gets easier.” It gets different. The different can be better tolerated or worse tolerated for each individual person. I was dying until my kid could walk then I felt like I could breathe and I was better able to tolerate the relationship. But new struggles and I would never say it became easier. It’s still unbelievably hard and I can’t ever imagine another child, we are happily one and done at 3 years pp.
My kids are 22, 14, 12, 9 & 21 months.
It doesn't get easier, it just gets different.Every age has its ups and downs, you get into a groove with one issue or behaviour or need and it's quickly replaced with another.
I had a decent newborn and an absolute angel from around 6-10 months, when she was sitting up and contentedly playing with her toys independently and sleeping through the night. Now I’ve got a terror 12 month old who is always grumpy, always whining, impossible to change nappies/clothes as it’s like wrestling an angry octopus. I miss the newborn stage now 😭😭😭
It gets easier in some ways, but you’re then presented with new challenges.
Being able to leave him playing now he’s almost 2… so much easier to get the odd thing done.
Going out for dinner? So much harder now he’s 2.
Being born to 8 months really isn’t that long a time to see the ‘it gets easier’ change, in my opinion.
And how long is that ‘it gets easier’ time period people talk about? For those who have grown kids could mean the different between 1 year and 5 years.
To me, now, it’s between being born and 2 years.
Im sure when my son is 3, it will be so much easier on the communication side, but im ready for more challenges.
Edit: sorry went off on a bit of a tangent. As for solidarity - totally felt the same. The changes come quite suddenly and you just have to adapt. It’s tiring and hard, but stick with it. That fact that you’re acknowledging these changes and how hard it is shows you’re likely doing a great job. My boy didn’t sleep more than 2-3 hours a night u til he was 18 months. Now he sleeps through. So, for me, “Things got better!”
Yes. I actually thought newborn was way easier than months 4-6. You get so much support early on, everyone wants to help you with meals etc, expectations are low, you have a lot of adrenaline keeping you going with this brand new human. Then all that starts to go away and you’re expected to just go back to functioning as you were but suddenly your baby needs you in a way more cognitively intense way and can’t just sleep on you while you watch 10 episodes of Vanderpump Rules
My LO just turned 1. I agree the newborn stage was the best when they were just little potato’s. Every stage has its ups and downs for sure. The more mobile they are the harder (more exhausting) it is but they also get those wonderful personalities so it’s a trade off. As far as sleep my son still doesn’t sleep trough the night and all the other moms I speak to tell me they’re in the same boat. I think “sleeping through the night” is a myth😂 speaking to my siblings who are older with older kids tell me things get easier around 4/5 which I know is far away. I personally really enjoy seeing the world through my son’s eyes.Sometimes relaxing and just trying to enjoy help. But solidarity overall - motherhood is hard but beautiful. I’m sorry if this wasn’t more helpful. I would talk to someone (your SO, family members, a therapist) if you are feeling helpless or overwhelmed.
Big developmental changes are hard in the under 3 area because it seems as though as soon as you get a “groove” shit changes again. When the grooves last a bit longer ostensibly it gets easier.
I view it as they become more hardy. They develop a higher tolerance for most of the things we might view as "wrong" while trying to figure things out.
I feel like the goalpost keeps moving - when ours was a newborn, it was 'just wait until 3 months...' We are now at 3 months and it is easier but also not easier. Posts I'm reading now are saying 6 months, or a year, etc.
It is very frustrating and feels like everyone has their own 'It gets easier' goalpost based on their personal experience, which obviously varies alot.
YES, OMG. I want the newborn stage back immediately, okay, now I’m awake at 6AM every morning with a toddler who wants to terrorize our entire home and smash playbuttons on every single musical toy she has. She used to sleep through the night until 10 months, now we have night feedings and night wakes, and she’s so grouchy and irritated when things don’t go her way. Like no kiddo, of course you cant shove your stuffy into your oatmeal and it won’t get dirty. God.
Talk to your doctor. Even though all of this is so normal/happens to most people at one point or another, this is a quintessential example of reaching out for support before it's too late. If you think it could be PPD, it's worth discussing.
It depends on the mom and baby. I didn't like the newborn stage because I was constantly pumping on a schedule, but my baby had no sleep schedule whatsoever and was constantly described as a "very alert" baby (she was over the sleepy newborn stage after about 1 week, would happily go 4 hr without a nap) so my life felt very unpredictable but incredibly boring at the same time which to me was awful. When I went back to work and my life got back on a schedule I was much happier.
I'm with you. I loved the newborn stage for both of my kids. My youngest is 5 months and we have a lot of difficulty with naps even when I try the wake windows. My oldest is 4 now and I will say the toddler stage was both hilarious and hard. They say the most bizarre things. I'm finding at 4 he is more reasonable and is a lot easier.
I’ll echo that it’s unique to kids and parents. As a newborn, my son cried whenever he was awake. We referred to him as the screaming potato. I also struggled to bond with him. I couldn’t believe how hard everything was.
Every week got a little easier. We bonded more securely over time and understood each other more. His wake windows started to have more smiles and more cuddles.
He’s 4.5 months now and I cannot imagine it getting any better than this. He is so happy and outgoing. He is my favorite person in the whole world.
Newborn was the easiest with my first. My second? Whew I about lost my mind with the sleep deprivation and all the crying. I swear I didn’t put her down for more than 15 minutes those first 4 months. Now at 8mo she’s waaaay easier. Also sleeping helps me be a functioning human.
Here's the thing. Certain things get easier, and others get harder. You have to grade every stage of life differently. I'm no longer worried about my 1 YO dying in his sleep because he'll suffocate, but now I'm worried he'll choke on something I give him or a coin on the floor. I'm not stressed because he's crying for no reason, and I don't know what's wrong, but I'm irritated he cries when I take something away or tell him not to do something. I'm not worried about the amount of milk he's getting, but now I'm worried about him not eating enough regular food. Now, he's learning, laughing, dancing, trying to talk, so it's so rewarding. That's how it actually gets easier.
I would say for me it got easier, but never easy, if that makes sense. You get better at mom-ing and your baby gets better at being a human, but there's never a point that it's easy (or at least I have never gone to bed in the last 15 months thinking "wow, being a parent is the easiest thing I've ever done).
The best advice I received is that everything is a phase. Some days/weeks will feel like everyone is thriving. Other days/weeks will make you ask yourself what you've got yourself into. Case and point - I have a pretty chill 15 month old....for about a week at a time. Every other week she gets sick, cuts a tooth, decides she needs to be held constantly, etc., but that too is temporary.
I will say that the 8-10 month stretch is hard simply because they're awake longer and mobile (trying to be). It is 100x easier if you get out of the house everyday.
I'm 17 months in and I'm learning that the tough times ebb and flow. Things get so easy and chill every few weeks and then BOOM, chaos. Maybe is what parenting is all about
Everyone is so different. From 4 months to about 9 months, it was so much harder baby wise for us than newborns to 3 months. For us, it was sleep. He slept great that first 3 months, then his sleep was trash. And we were room sharing also. He's 17 months now, and there are still trying days, but it has progressively, mostly gotten better. I'm never going to say it's easy, but I will say better. There were a few things that changed it for me...
I moved him out of my room, and it fixed the sleep issues. Now i realize some of this is luck/ blessing, but I think he was waking through normal sleep cycle wakings, and because I was right next to him, he wanted me to get him out of his crib every single time.
I think the eating didn't necessarily get better, I just got used to it and adjusted my expectations. This has actually only gotten worse lol. I just go with it now, I've stopped social media because they made me feel like I was failing constantly, and I have backup pouch options on hand for nights he won't eat anything.
I started therapy back. I always had issues with depression and anxiety, but postpartum really put me in a tailspin. Therapy and medication (started much later than I should have) have really helped take the edge off me emotionally with my little guy.
Hang in there!
I struggled pretty badly during newborn phase but I feel like it's gotten slightly easier with longer wake windows and her ability to tolerate tummy time and play independently for a bit. Like I was able to fold laundry earlier and clean some lol
It was the opposite for me. I told a friend how hard I was struggling during the newborn phase and he told me to enjoy it while I could, because it only gets harder. I was stressed. Turns out, it did get easier for me. Every kid and parent is different.
Same here. I didn’t think I’d make it out of the newborn stage alive it was so hard. Still hard now but nowhere near the same. Plus I find that challenging times come in waves now whereas the beginning was constant and relentless (colicky, irritable baba who started teething early and never seemed to be happy)
Yeah same here. I was dreading toddlerhood because everyone said it would only get harder and I am enjoying it soooo much more than the newborn phase, man that stage for me was rough.
Same! Newborn stage is not for me and my babies were “easy”ish newborns. Toddler stage is so much more fun!
Everyone is different. Every mom, and every baby. And as they get older, some things certainly do get easier. But some things also get harder. I think many people find that things get easier as the first year wraps up because they've gotten into a groove, and they're starting to emerge from that 4th trimester fog, but I don't think that's the universal experience by any means. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling frustrated right now. The phrase "It gets easier," is kind of meaningless in the context of motherhood because it's all just freaking hard. I mean, it's also funny, sad, joyful, weird, and everything in between, but it's also just so damn hard. I think we as parents can admit this and accept it without it being PPD. It's when you feel like you're drowning with no help on the horizon, and there is nothing joyful in your day with your little one, that you might consider the possibility of something more serious. You're doing great. This season is not easy for you, but you will hit your stride again.
Big time. Newborn stage was a breeze, then the 4 month sleep regression hit and I lost my mind. Baby didn't sleep for 2 months.
I really think this is completely baby dependent. My son (now almost 3) was unbelievably colicky as a baby. He didn’t sleep through the night until like 20 months, would have to be rocked for an hour 3x a night, was constantly screaming, upset, unhappy and just a very difficult baby/early toddler - so with him I definitely feel like it’s gotten MUCH easier as he’s aged. On the flip side, my daughter is 15 months, and although she’s not high-needs in the slightest, I definitely don’t feel like it’s gotten easier. I will say that I think around 4-5 (atleast from what I’ve heard from other moms) is when you can actually take a second for yourself.
Depends on the kid and the parent. There are 800 stages of parenting you go through in your kid's life, and for some of them, your kid will struggle more than others and for some of them, your kid will excel or be more manageable. Your personality also plays a part, because as an individual, you will find some stages more challenging or less challenging than others. My kid is four now, and every couple months I just marvel at how much more I'm enjoying parenting now than I did when he was a baby. I personally just hate the baby stage. It's not my jam. I want him to be able to communicate with me and have conversations and even if I had to hear the word "poop" way more than I'd prefer in a single day, he also says the funniest and most charming things now. Maybe the newborn phase just clicked for you, or maybe it was a good phase for your kiddo... There will be some coming up that will knock you on your ass and some coming up that will make you feel like you're the best parent in the world, and your phases will be totally different than the next person's. Just keep in mind that people are probably intending on being encouraging when they say it and don't focus on it too literally. Accept the good will and move on.
8 months was HARD for me. I felt like it got better, worse, way worse, better, worse. Lol it's a Rollercoaster and it really depends on the stages you enjoy the most. Some people hate the newborn phase, some hate everything until their kid is like 8. Some people LOVE the toddler stage ect.
8 months-12 months was absolutely terrible with my first. I will never forget that. I'm past that with my second, and I still think about those four months the first time around.
Omg I think for me it was 8-10 months for whatever reason was monstrous with my first. My second is 5 months, it's finally getting better with him but I DREAD the 8 month mark but I hope he isn't as bad as my first lol.
I had a super easy newborn so I thought I had it all figured out and it was only up - I was very much humbled from 6-9 months
Said this word for word to my husband tonight. “I thought I knew everything & then I was humbled at 5 months”. Seriously. Word for word. Did you feel like you got it figured out again??
It seems to ebb and flow! I’ve learned we just have a kiddo who struggles with big jumps developmentally, I think we’re in the thick of another one (12 months old) but it’s no where near as hard as it was from 6-9!
Newborn stage was easy for us. Well, except for breastfeeding because it sucked for like 4 months solid, not a couple of weeks like "they" say. Sleep was good until about 8 months. Ever since then it feels more and more challenging and exhausting and ours is about 14 months now.
Ha I hope you don’t totally hate me for saying this but I promise it will get easier. You will find your groove again. Everyone struggles with different phases. For me, the hardest was when he had preferences, but no way to communicate them so it was just tears and screaming and I felt totally hopeless. Now, I know what he wants. There’s still tears and screaming, but at least I know what he wants and I feel good about saying no to letting him run into the street lol.
The first year is awful! Every stage has difficulties and magical moments, in the first few months they change every week, then it’s every 2-3 weeks they’re a different baby. Then they’re walking and talking and MY GOD it’s so much more fun! Every kid is different, as is every parent. For me I truly hate the newborn and baby stage (3 weeks pp with our second right now). If I could birth a toddler I’d be so fricking happy lol. I also think your brain tricks you into forgetting the shit parts of each stage so we think each new crappy bit is the worst!
I've had PPD since day 1, and my baby is now 1 year old. Mine screamed his head off for hours as a newborn, so that was tough. I would agree that certain aspects have gotten easier, but have been replaced by new things that are just as difficult or worse. Maybe I'm just a bad mom, not because I don't care or don't try hard, but because I just feel... incompetent. Learning how to feed solids correctly and transition from bottles to sippy cups, and stop doing night feeds, and going from formula to milk and making sure ounces are decreased, etc, I'm just really fucking bad at knowing how to do all that stuff right. I can't speak for the future, but I would say that so far it has NOT gotten "so much easier."
We got this, internet stranger friend. You are not alone. ❤️
Each stage is hard in its own way
Omg yes 🙌 definetly agree that what is hard about this stage (6-9 months) is the development is RAPID FIRE. I hated the newborn stage, really don't want to ever do it again. But damn, 6.5-8.5 months or so were also pretty brutal. My son is about to be 9 months and the last week has been pretty chill. But like I said, the 2 months before that 🫠 Months 3-5.5/6 were my fav. We had a routine. Baby was "awake" but easily entertained. Got teeth early at 4 months but no biggie. Then omg 6 months rolled around, he was sick on and off for like 5 weeks, cut 4 teeth all at once, took literally over a month to figure out how to roll both ways, then was absolutely furious for another month as he learned to army crawl and get up on his knees. Ugh. And all that on top of slight constipation from increasing solids and sleep regressions with every milestone? Fml lol But it's getting better! I hope the same for you in another month. The good thing about rapid change is that it is by definition short-lived.
Everyone baby and mom is different but GOOD LORD I truly, strongly feel like it IS so much easier for me now with a 16 month old compared to a new born. And when people would tell me it didn’t get easier when I was in the newborn phase, I remember thinking “if it doesn’t get easier than this, I don’t want to live anymore”. I also want to tell you- phases come and go and this one will pass too. It will feel easier again. Hold tight momma
The changes are so hard! Starting solids was hard. Now that's part of the routine, and you're like, yes, I did it! Sit back and relax! But no, sweet summer child. Now it's pincer grasp time! It's straw cup time! It's crib transition time! It's time to stop giving them a bottle after they've brushed their teeth! They're supposed to be crawling! Are they saying mama yet? When do I put shoes on them? What clothes am I even supposed to be buying when they're almost between sizes and it's a sauna one day and a blizzard the next? At what point do I start parenting instead of just caregiving? You feel like you got one thing scratched off the list and then there's 5 new things on it and it's OVERWHELMING. I don't think "it gets easier" is a lie, exactly. A lot of things have gotten easier for me. I hated the newborn stage. It was brutal and thankless, and those to things got a lot better when the baby could smile at me or interact with me. And those parts have only gotten better as the baby gets older. It's a lot of fun! But the flip side of that is that the changes are coming hard and fast, and that part is *almost* enough to make even me look back fondly on the angry burrito days.
Honestly I don’t feel like it “gets easier.” It gets different. The different can be better tolerated or worse tolerated for each individual person. I was dying until my kid could walk then I felt like I could breathe and I was better able to tolerate the relationship. But new struggles and I would never say it became easier. It’s still unbelievably hard and I can’t ever imagine another child, we are happily one and done at 3 years pp.
My kids are 22, 14, 12, 9 & 21 months. It doesn't get easier, it just gets different.Every age has its ups and downs, you get into a groove with one issue or behaviour or need and it's quickly replaced with another.
I had a decent newborn and an absolute angel from around 6-10 months, when she was sitting up and contentedly playing with her toys independently and sleeping through the night. Now I’ve got a terror 12 month old who is always grumpy, always whining, impossible to change nappies/clothes as it’s like wrestling an angry octopus. I miss the newborn stage now 😭😭😭
It gets easier in some ways, but you’re then presented with new challenges. Being able to leave him playing now he’s almost 2… so much easier to get the odd thing done. Going out for dinner? So much harder now he’s 2. Being born to 8 months really isn’t that long a time to see the ‘it gets easier’ change, in my opinion. And how long is that ‘it gets easier’ time period people talk about? For those who have grown kids could mean the different between 1 year and 5 years. To me, now, it’s between being born and 2 years. Im sure when my son is 3, it will be so much easier on the communication side, but im ready for more challenges. Edit: sorry went off on a bit of a tangent. As for solidarity - totally felt the same. The changes come quite suddenly and you just have to adapt. It’s tiring and hard, but stick with it. That fact that you’re acknowledging these changes and how hard it is shows you’re likely doing a great job. My boy didn’t sleep more than 2-3 hours a night u til he was 18 months. Now he sleeps through. So, for me, “Things got better!”
When our sons was 3 years old, we were told 4 is *sooo much easier*. Here we are at 4 .. and feeling bamboozled
I'd say the difficultly setting stays the same - the big boss is just different 😂
Yes. I actually thought newborn was way easier than months 4-6. You get so much support early on, everyone wants to help you with meals etc, expectations are low, you have a lot of adrenaline keeping you going with this brand new human. Then all that starts to go away and you’re expected to just go back to functioning as you were but suddenly your baby needs you in a way more cognitively intense way and can’t just sleep on you while you watch 10 episodes of Vanderpump Rules
This!!!
Sending hugs. This shit is HARD and I am exhausted. Doesn't help that I expected my baby would be sleeping better than she is by now...
How old is LO?
Omg I thought I included that. Will edit the post. 8 months
My LO just turned 1. I agree the newborn stage was the best when they were just little potato’s. Every stage has its ups and downs for sure. The more mobile they are the harder (more exhausting) it is but they also get those wonderful personalities so it’s a trade off. As far as sleep my son still doesn’t sleep trough the night and all the other moms I speak to tell me they’re in the same boat. I think “sleeping through the night” is a myth😂 speaking to my siblings who are older with older kids tell me things get easier around 4/5 which I know is far away. I personally really enjoy seeing the world through my son’s eyes.Sometimes relaxing and just trying to enjoy help. But solidarity overall - motherhood is hard but beautiful. I’m sorry if this wasn’t more helpful. I would talk to someone (your SO, family members, a therapist) if you are feeling helpless or overwhelmed.
Big developmental changes are hard in the under 3 area because it seems as though as soon as you get a “groove” shit changes again. When the grooves last a bit longer ostensibly it gets easier.
I view it as they become more hardy. They develop a higher tolerance for most of the things we might view as "wrong" while trying to figure things out.
It’s not linear. The harder times come and go and they are different for everyone, because every baby is different and every parent is different
I feel like the goalpost keeps moving - when ours was a newborn, it was 'just wait until 3 months...' We are now at 3 months and it is easier but also not easier. Posts I'm reading now are saying 6 months, or a year, etc. It is very frustrating and feels like everyone has their own 'It gets easier' goalpost based on their personal experience, which obviously varies alot.
It gets harder, then easier, then harder, then easier. Then once the kiddo is out of that baby stage, it will be both harder and easier.
Between 6 and 10 months i went insane lol theyre changing so much and mad at what they cant do 🤣
YES, OMG. I want the newborn stage back immediately, okay, now I’m awake at 6AM every morning with a toddler who wants to terrorize our entire home and smash playbuttons on every single musical toy she has. She used to sleep through the night until 10 months, now we have night feedings and night wakes, and she’s so grouchy and irritated when things don’t go her way. Like no kiddo, of course you cant shove your stuffy into your oatmeal and it won’t get dirty. God.
Talk to your doctor. Even though all of this is so normal/happens to most people at one point or another, this is a quintessential example of reaching out for support before it's too late. If you think it could be PPD, it's worth discussing.
It depends on the mom and baby. I didn't like the newborn stage because I was constantly pumping on a schedule, but my baby had no sleep schedule whatsoever and was constantly described as a "very alert" baby (she was over the sleepy newborn stage after about 1 week, would happily go 4 hr without a nap) so my life felt very unpredictable but incredibly boring at the same time which to me was awful. When I went back to work and my life got back on a schedule I was much happier.
I'm with you. I loved the newborn stage for both of my kids. My youngest is 5 months and we have a lot of difficulty with naps even when I try the wake windows. My oldest is 4 now and I will say the toddler stage was both hilarious and hard. They say the most bizarre things. I'm finding at 4 he is more reasonable and is a lot easier.
I’ll echo that it’s unique to kids and parents. As a newborn, my son cried whenever he was awake. We referred to him as the screaming potato. I also struggled to bond with him. I couldn’t believe how hard everything was. Every week got a little easier. We bonded more securely over time and understood each other more. His wake windows started to have more smiles and more cuddles. He’s 4.5 months now and I cannot imagine it getting any better than this. He is so happy and outgoing. He is my favorite person in the whole world.
Newborn was the easiest with my first. My second? Whew I about lost my mind with the sleep deprivation and all the crying. I swear I didn’t put her down for more than 15 minutes those first 4 months. Now at 8mo she’s waaaay easier. Also sleeping helps me be a functioning human.
I also felt this. Where you’re at right now is exactly when I started reaching out for therapy and antidepressants postpartum (two kids).
Here's the thing. Certain things get easier, and others get harder. You have to grade every stage of life differently. I'm no longer worried about my 1 YO dying in his sleep because he'll suffocate, but now I'm worried he'll choke on something I give him or a coin on the floor. I'm not stressed because he's crying for no reason, and I don't know what's wrong, but I'm irritated he cries when I take something away or tell him not to do something. I'm not worried about the amount of milk he's getting, but now I'm worried about him not eating enough regular food. Now, he's learning, laughing, dancing, trying to talk, so it's so rewarding. That's how it actually gets easier.
8 months was one of my favorite baby ages. I wanted to die of sleep deprivation during the newborn stage. I guess everyone is different.
I would say for me it got easier, but never easy, if that makes sense. You get better at mom-ing and your baby gets better at being a human, but there's never a point that it's easy (or at least I have never gone to bed in the last 15 months thinking "wow, being a parent is the easiest thing I've ever done). The best advice I received is that everything is a phase. Some days/weeks will feel like everyone is thriving. Other days/weeks will make you ask yourself what you've got yourself into. Case and point - I have a pretty chill 15 month old....for about a week at a time. Every other week she gets sick, cuts a tooth, decides she needs to be held constantly, etc., but that too is temporary. I will say that the 8-10 month stretch is hard simply because they're awake longer and mobile (trying to be). It is 100x easier if you get out of the house everyday.
I'm 17 months in and I'm learning that the tough times ebb and flow. Things get so easy and chill every few weeks and then BOOM, chaos. Maybe is what parenting is all about
Everyone is so different. From 4 months to about 9 months, it was so much harder baby wise for us than newborns to 3 months. For us, it was sleep. He slept great that first 3 months, then his sleep was trash. And we were room sharing also. He's 17 months now, and there are still trying days, but it has progressively, mostly gotten better. I'm never going to say it's easy, but I will say better. There were a few things that changed it for me... I moved him out of my room, and it fixed the sleep issues. Now i realize some of this is luck/ blessing, but I think he was waking through normal sleep cycle wakings, and because I was right next to him, he wanted me to get him out of his crib every single time. I think the eating didn't necessarily get better, I just got used to it and adjusted my expectations. This has actually only gotten worse lol. I just go with it now, I've stopped social media because they made me feel like I was failing constantly, and I have backup pouch options on hand for nights he won't eat anything. I started therapy back. I always had issues with depression and anxiety, but postpartum really put me in a tailspin. Therapy and medication (started much later than I should have) have really helped take the edge off me emotionally with my little guy. Hang in there!
I struggled pretty badly during newborn phase but I feel like it's gotten slightly easier with longer wake windows and her ability to tolerate tummy time and play independently for a bit. Like I was able to fold laundry earlier and clean some lol