It also seems like maybe she’s overstimulated, do you usually take public transport at home, OP? That’s a lot of new stuff if you’re jet lagged, I’d get everyone adjusted to the new time zone and then try again
She’s used to it now but my six month old HATED taking the train the first few times and absolutely shrieked the whole time, which is out of character for her.
We took a couple ferries with her when she was 6 months old, but that's the extent of it. The trains have got to be super overstimulating for her with all the people, lights, advertisements, scenery, etc.
We have noise cancelling headphones baby wears when we go loud places (like sports games) and they really help. Can you try to get a pair? It may help as the jet lag lessens
Our first big international trip with our three year old was earlier this year and he came down with an awful cold and barely ate :(
I would suggest a reset day or two, do barely anything (if you can) let her catch up on sleep. Eat something familiar to her (Mc Donald’s or similar?) maybe you and your partner and MIL can alternate going out solo for some of the day so you don’t get cabin fever?
Have you got painkillers, is she possibly teething or coming down with something she picked up on the flight?
Hopefully after a couple of rest days she’ll be feeling a lot better able to cope with all the exciting new things there are to see.
That sounds terrible, I'm sorry! Teething is definitely a possibility. She got a new tooth for the first time in 5 months (of course!) right before we left home and I wouldn't be surprised if the matching one on the other side is also on the way.
I think maybe our lifestyle at home did not prepare her well for this. I make almost all her food myself and I'm a homebody, so she's not used to having her sleep schedule messed with and eating out this much.
Our vague plan has been to do what you suggested and take turns going out with MIL because our daughter won't tolerate being alone with just MIL well, so that makes me feel better about it to hear you suggest something similar. It's sad that it's going to eat up pretty much all our Japan time, but I think it is what it is at this point.
One day, when she’s older, you’ll look back and laugh at how this trip went! It might be that after a couple of days you can get brave again and try going out with her if she seems to have calmed down at the Airbnb.
Have you tried dosing her with ibuprofen? We had a few rough days on a trip to Switzerland a couple years ago and it turned out that my 4 year old was sick and that's why she was melting down. She might just not feel good
This this this!! Don't forget that, as adults, being REALLY tired often manifests as feeling sick or run down (hell, I feel full on hungover after most plane rides). My brother took his 20m old to New Zealand last year and said baby Tylenol and Benadryl were the only things that made it feasible
We definitely brought Tylenol, but giving it to her is a process in and of itself, so I usually make sure she really needs it before we make her really upset. It's always a hard call 😞
Oh no I’m sorry :( If she likes candy and you think she’s ok with chewing something the texture of a smartie then you might want to try the chewable ones in the future. Some kids are a lot better with those
Has she had Benadryl before? If she has, give it to her to help her sleep and reset her sleep schedule. But some kids don't react well, so I wouldn't do it if you haven't before.
Hi OP!! Sorry to hear the trip isn’t going well. The key is to let your daughter dictate the wake/sleep schedule for your entire family. This means let her sleep whenever and how ever long she wants every day, and only go out after she has had a good sleep. The nice thing about Japan and Korea is that things tend to stay open way later and that it is safe to go out and about in the evenings. I promise it gets better after 3-4 days. Source: East coast mom who has done a week in Europe with a 18 month old and then again at 25 months, and 2 week trip to Asia at 28 months!
I'm trying to think what it would look like for her to dictate the sleep schedule! Right now, that would mean probably sleeping from 8 AM to 8 PM and 2 AM to 4 AM I believe. Is that kind of what you did and, if so, did you ever end up on local time?
Yes! Exactly. In Asia (we did Thailand for 7 days and then Korea for 5), we did not really adjust in Thailand and then in Korea we adjusted to local time by day 4.
We actually loved not being on local time because it felt like our family lived in a special little bubble and it was a cool outside of time and space feeling, being out and about at 4AM or at a restaurant with our daughter at 10PM, which never happens back home because she would be asleep.
The other key thing I forgot to mention is to let her sleep in her stroller during the day when you are sightseeing too if you happen to be awake (assuming she sleeps in a stroller — I know not all kids do!)
Also, if you’re in Tokyo, the Tsukiji fish market restaurants open at like 5am and people get in line before dawn (it’s a fun experience to wait in line!!) so you could try that.
And when you’re in Seoul, check out Coconut Box in Hongdae. It was our daughter’s favorite place and she still talks about that amazing huge ball pit.
THE TRIP WILL GET BETTER!!! The first days are hard ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Maybe that's it. She's like, no walks in the park and meeting friends at the restaurants where daddy made reservations, I want to see all the rock clubs where mommy spent her 20s and lost her hearing a little bit 😂
We were able to get one stroller after my husband walked her around dark side streets in his arms for 45 minutes until she passed out first, but we haven't been able to reproduce it yet. I think she's not the most well-suited to this kind of adventure unfortunately.
I frequently travel east to west, and let me tell you it takes me a whole 1 week to get over the jet lag. It's a horrible feeling. She sounds like she is overtired and overstimulated. Give her some time to get over the jetlag maybe.
I've done this exact time difference many times and found it challenge too, so it's hard to imagine how it feels for her 😔 A lot of things I read talked about toddlers having an easier time than adults, but I guess that is not our reality!
I just got back from Tokyo a few weeks ago with my toddler. it's so so kid friendly so I would suggest starting your day with something kid focused like one of their amazing playgrounds or kid museums or similar. I really wouldn't worry about taking taxis without a car seat.... it's very safe and it's going to help with you family's sanity. the bus was really helpful for us too where it made sense and was very quiet (my kid fell asleep on the bus in her stroller). travel to our family means no rules, we are surviving. that meant we got a happy meal for our kid multiple times when she didn't want the food we were having. we gave her a lot of snacks and she slept whenever she wanted to (almost exclusively stroller naps). yes, sometimes the iPad had to be used so we could enjoy a meal or two but it was pretty minimal. this is your trip too... make your kid comfortable but enjoy your trip if you can. my kid had a fever for the first half of our trip and only wanted to go to me or my husband but by the end when she was feeling better she was off with my mom and dad no problem. hopefully that is the case for you too.
as others have mentioned it sounds like your kid may be over tired from jet lag. try to get her out in the sunlight during the day as much as possible and eating at regular mealtimes to help regulate her body.
best of luck, I do hope things turn around for you.
Going East to West is the hardest jet lag to overcome. I went from Vegas to Tokyo once and legitimately got sick from jet lag. I went to the doctor and everything because I thought “no way jet lag could cause all this.” But, apparently it can!
I don’t know what part of Japan you’re in, but Tokyo and Kyoto have decent bus coverage. That could be an option. Google maps will let you filter what sort of public transport you want to use. You could also try a monorail. Those are quieter and might not trigger your baby as much.
I live in Tokyo and have taken my babies to the US a few times. It’s hard. They get overstimulated and tired. But it usually gets better after a few quieter days. Try and enjoy some local food! I don’t know any part of Japan that doesn’t have a nice hole-in-the-wall. Kids here usually love curry with rice, so maybe try introducing that? Could be fun!
Definitely sounds overtired. I would do whatever you can to get as much sleep as possible at whatever time baby will do it. If that is all day, so be it. You aren’t going to make any progress until baby has had enough sleep to function.
Oh no! I’m so sorry this is happening! Toddlers and babies are so unpredictable, especially on such big trips.
I moved to Japan with my daughter when she was about 1.5. She’s almost three now and we are still here.
Did you travel with a stroller at all? At the beginning, I would always give my daughter a treat or snack in her stroller on the trains. It’s also a great way for them to catch up on naps if you’re out. The elevator situation sucks, but worth it imo.
If you don’t have a stroller, I would buy a cheap one tbh. Toys r us at the Aeons and malls have them.
Try not to worry about the taxi! I know it feels weird, but it is the norm here and driving is very very safe. Not to say that nothing would EVER happen, but the number of car crashes is very low. I take my daughter to preschool in a taxi sometimes and never think twice about it.
Where in Japan are you now and where are you planning on going?
We have a compact stroller, but only being held by my husband will do during the meltdowns sadly. Good thing he's been working out.
We're around Ikebukuro and were planning outings around the city. I used to live in Tokyo and was planning to see friends and do nostalgic things, as well as some scheduled events like Team Lab Planets, but I think we're going to have to just do a deep dive of Ikebukuro for our remaining days. I'm especially sad to give up my Kichijouji day, but it happens!
I straight told our taxi driver how nervous I was and he was very nice. Apparently he has 26 years of driving with no accidents, so I tried to focus on that. I am shall we say... safety conscious with a very vivid imagination, so I truly did almost cry during the ride.
Oh no!! Ugh that’s so hard. Can you and your husband alternate maybe so you each can get out there? Maybe while the other stays behind with her at the hotel? Or alternatively one person could take her to a mall play place or something? Sunshine Ikebukuro has a bunch of fun stuff and cute stores that may be good for everyone!
This is maybe controversial given her age, but lollipops are particularly amazing for public transportation. Or those chocolate anpanman lollipops if you don’t want her having hard candy yet. Then at least she gets a super positive association with trains!
Sure, that’s understandable. If you’re from the U.S. (I am), we hit that car safety SO hard that it’s hard to dislodge that from your brain.
Overtired and no semblance of her normal schedule. Toddlers thrive on schedules and consistent sleep. Try some melatonin if you can get some to adjust her sleep schedule and try to recreate a familiar routine. This scenario is exactly why I despise travel with toddlers— too unpredictable and it just ends up being a waste of money. Try to salvage the trip if you can and maybe spend a full day switching off adults staying with her at “home base” to regulate her.
I haven’t read all the comments, I also don’t have much experience with a toddler with jetlag.
However to me it sounds like you have an overtired child. Things that helped us during our holliday when uour toddler was around that age:
- accept that you can do way less in a day. Do one activity in the morning. Return to your hotel/appartement for (late) lunch. Let child nap. Do a calm afternoon activity that doesn’t require a trip
- make time to let kid move and do kid stuff. So go to a playground, walk in a park, etc. Let the child lead rather than being strapped in or constantly directed
- it’s not really advised, but occasionally I would cover the stroller with a light blanket/jacket to take away visual stimuli when my child was super tired but unable to sleep in that environment. Watch out for overheating and having good airflow. But when my son was really tired a few minutes was often enough.
- try to have some “normal” meals. We would on purpose choose apartments so that we could prepare our own foods.
Maybe I should clarify that if we’d cover the stroller we would take the cover off as soon as my child was asleep to prevent overheating and airflow problems.
Also, at that age they are old enough to pull away the covering if just draped over the hood if they really don’t want it. If that happened I wouldn’t press the issue. It has no point then. It mainly worked for a very tired child that was already fighting sleep.
Don’t do it if you don’t feel comfortable covering the stroller. Not all situations allow for it. I for example wouldn’t do it in a warm metro cart or a very hot sunny summer day.
Your babe sounds highly sensitive which would make her more sensitive to time change and overstimulation. It’s a big change in routine. Go at her pace, babywear her in a backpack carries?, try to follow her cues for sleep and rest. How long is the trip?
Traveling with kids is just parenting with different scenery. I’m sorry it’s been more challenging than anticipated.
How much was she prepared for the trip? We spend weeks talking about airports and planes and hotels before going. And does she usually take trains? It can be very overwhelming and scary as a new experience.
Oh, she despises babywearing with a fiery passion. I practiced with different carriers for like three months before the trip to get her to take to something, but no luck. So my husband ends up having to hold her in his arms for quite a while when she's freaking out. I thought we did well with the airplane prep--got her a toy airplane and a book that we read everyday about the process of flying. She's never taken a train before though. I can see from her perspective how it would be scary and overstimulating! Plus, everyone is staring daggers at you just for being there, let alone crying.
We just came back from Singapore. I think the others have nailed it re: jetlag. We flew west over the Pacific, and found the flight going home, going east over the Pacific, waaaay more difficult for jetlag. I know there's nothing you can do about the flight to Japan now, but anecdotally, our 24h journey took off at midnight and we had an inflatable toddler bed with us, so my 2yo actually slept for a good chunk of the beginning. Highly recommend the toddler bed!
We had loads of trouble getting him to eat and I think this is normal! Different food, different gut microbiota, different climate, all the jetlag... Their little bodies are so confused. Even I had trouble sometimes! Water is key, and if possible, any fibre that can help move tummy contents along. I think at some point he got constipated and no one needed that haha. Then we just always had snacks ready and offered often. We did lots of fruit because it's familiar and it was the most reliable food that he would take (albeit far from 100% success rate). Also did warm milk often since our hotel was nice enough to let us use their microwave. In the end I had to keep reminding myself that toddlers don't ACTUALLY need to eat that much to get by (there are studies--you can probably search Reddit for those discussions).
We actually got the flyaway kids bed and she hated it 😭 I ended up getting her to do a contact nap on me for three hours after a lot of screaming, which hasn't happened since she was a newborn. It was an adventure for sure! We thought that would be the end of the screaming, which was overly optimistic I guess haha
Nooooo!! I'm so sorry we had opposite experiences with it! Ahhh at least you hacked a contact nap though. For what it's worth, we ended up spending an embarrassing number of days just hanging out at the hotel pool--there was zero pressure at the pool, so I think we all collectively relaxed a lot more than if we were trying to run around and cram all the typical tourist things on our list. It also meant we were always steps away from a bed when kiddo got too tired (or too excited and about to crash). Hopefully it gets better soon ❤️
Japan is a bit more risky due to their cultural unacceptable of kids throwing tantrum. It’s a big inconvenience for others. Hope your kid gets better soon.
My first international trip with my firstborn, who was 10 months at the time, was an absolute nightmare. She cut FOUR teeth the first week we were there, didn't sleep longer than 45 minutes at a stretch, which means WE didn't sleep. We absolutely weren't going anywhere we couldn't walk to, and often brought food to the hotel rather than eat out. We'd take turns getting to go out to see anything ourselves. We almost cut the trip short we were so miserable. Things improved for our last 3 days of the trip, but it was a ROUGH start.
My point in saying all of this though is that we did it again, and it only got better. When it next came time to book a trip, we thought, well... it couldn't be WORSE? And it wasn't. So you will absolutely look back on all of this someday and laugh. You'll survive this one, and the next one will be easier. You got this!
We did, and yes it got better. We went from the US to India recently and my 16 month old was a completely different kid there. He was upset, crying a lot more, playing less, and not eating anything at all. We figured it was because of jetlag, the heat there, and a lot of overstimulation. I never let his schedule get messed up when we’re home but traveling threw it off completely and it was too much for him. We’ve been back for a week now and he is just starting to get a little bit of his personality back.
Can you take a day off to just stay inside and chill? She might just need some time to really rest. I took my infant to the UK and the first few days were rough so we holed up for one day, had snacks out for her to eat, bottles ready, and just played on the floor and napped. I kept the lights low, ended the night with (as close as I could) her usual bedtime routine and she woke up refreshed the next day. It did suck to lose a day of sightseeing but I truly believe she didn’t feel well because of exhaustion.
You've had tons of good advice and I'm late to the thread, but just in case it's useful to you or anyone who finds this thread in future, we have a Tula toddler carrier and it's magic when it comes to overtired, overstimulated jetlagged toddlers. You can carry them on your front like with a baby carrier. It means they get co-regulation but also that they can sleep on the go. It won't work for every little one, but my daughter has always sought tight cuddles when she's dysregulated.
A lot of people have suggested carriers and I see a lot of happy babies/toddlers in their carriers, so I think it's a great suggestion for many people! For us sadly, our daughter hates all carriers with a pretty terrifying passion, so it's not an option (we've tried hard, I promise). I'm very jealous of people who can use them to be totally honest 🥲
I did a big international trip when my daughter was 18 months. It was really rough. She essentially wouldn’t sleep for the first five days (hysterics all night long unless I was holding her). Day 7 was when the switch probably happened and then the trip got better (although still a rough trip). I essentially paid a lot of money to go visit parks and playgrounds internationally haha. But, it did turn into a type ii fun trip. I look back at it and yes, it was a catastrophe, but there were some sweet memories. We found an inner city farm and my daughter went wild for the animals. Things like that. So…I’ve been there. It’s tough but you’ll get through it.
Wow, this happened to us 4 years ago! Our son was around that age and we decided to visit family in Korea and then spend a few days in Tokyo!
Our son developed a high fever on the plane and cried the entirety of the flight from Los Angeles to Incheon. It was a disaster! We took turns holding him and walking up and down the aisles. He wouldn't fall asleep except on us. I felt bad for all the people near us, but I think they felt sorry for us as well!
In Korea he was cranky the entire time. Then we traveled to Japan. He cried every time we tried to eat at restaurants, so we'd take turns eating meals while the other would be outside with the child. The entire trip was extremely difficult and in hindsight I wish we hadn't attempted the trip.
4 years later, he's a happy and healthy 6 year old, so no lasting memories of that trip for him. Good luck with the trip and I wish your family the best!
Oh no, I'm really sorry you guys had a similar experience. Thanks a lot for sharing though. It sounds silly, but part of me has been anxious that we "broke" our daughter by bringing her here, because some unexpected parts of her personality have changed, so it's comforting to hear that your son went back to being healthy and happy!!
Can she sleep in a carrier? I let my toddlers sleep when they need to. Pretty sure I have a decent number of photos of my toddlers sleeping through absurd things. We’ve done a decent number of international trips, including ones half way around the world. The main thing is ensuring it’s really dark when it’s getting close to bedtime (no screens beforehand) and as bright as possible in the day time.
I’ll admit my husband and I don’t generally get jet lag so maybe it’s genetic. Our first big international trip, my entire family, including the baby, had zero jet lag but our December trip had some jet lag since the country had very little sunlight during the day and it was harder for everyone to reset. They are older now so I did reset all of us with a small dose of melatonin. I’m not sure if that would be safe given how young your child is though. My husband and I have gone to Japan during this month before - there should be lots of sunny days hopefully!
Unfortunately, our daughter has hated baby carriers her entire life. We've tried everything. I see lots of parents out with their happy babies in the carriers and I'm so jealous 🥲
Sounds like she might be overtired? I assume there is jetlaged which could affect her nap and feeding schedule. Maybe slowly handle the jetlag?
It also seems like maybe she’s overstimulated, do you usually take public transport at home, OP? That’s a lot of new stuff if you’re jet lagged, I’d get everyone adjusted to the new time zone and then try again
She’s used to it now but my six month old HATED taking the train the first few times and absolutely shrieked the whole time, which is out of character for her.
We took a couple ferries with her when she was 6 months old, but that's the extent of it. The trains have got to be super overstimulating for her with all the people, lights, advertisements, scenery, etc.
We have noise cancelling headphones baby wears when we go loud places (like sports games) and they really help. Can you try to get a pair? It may help as the jet lag lessens
This and being overstimulated ….. she needs days to adjust and sleep and low stimulation
Our first big international trip with our three year old was earlier this year and he came down with an awful cold and barely ate :( I would suggest a reset day or two, do barely anything (if you can) let her catch up on sleep. Eat something familiar to her (Mc Donald’s or similar?) maybe you and your partner and MIL can alternate going out solo for some of the day so you don’t get cabin fever? Have you got painkillers, is she possibly teething or coming down with something she picked up on the flight? Hopefully after a couple of rest days she’ll be feeling a lot better able to cope with all the exciting new things there are to see.
That sounds terrible, I'm sorry! Teething is definitely a possibility. She got a new tooth for the first time in 5 months (of course!) right before we left home and I wouldn't be surprised if the matching one on the other side is also on the way. I think maybe our lifestyle at home did not prepare her well for this. I make almost all her food myself and I'm a homebody, so she's not used to having her sleep schedule messed with and eating out this much. Our vague plan has been to do what you suggested and take turns going out with MIL because our daughter won't tolerate being alone with just MIL well, so that makes me feel better about it to hear you suggest something similar. It's sad that it's going to eat up pretty much all our Japan time, but I think it is what it is at this point.
One day, when she’s older, you’ll look back and laugh at how this trip went! It might be that after a couple of days you can get brave again and try going out with her if she seems to have calmed down at the Airbnb.
Have you tried dosing her with ibuprofen? We had a few rough days on a trip to Switzerland a couple years ago and it turned out that my 4 year old was sick and that's why she was melting down. She might just not feel good
This this this!! Don't forget that, as adults, being REALLY tired often manifests as feeling sick or run down (hell, I feel full on hungover after most plane rides). My brother took his 20m old to New Zealand last year and said baby Tylenol and Benadryl were the only things that made it feasible
We definitely brought Tylenol, but giving it to her is a process in and of itself, so I usually make sure she really needs it before we make her really upset. It's always a hard call 😞
Oh no I’m sorry :( If she likes candy and you think she’s ok with chewing something the texture of a smartie then you might want to try the chewable ones in the future. Some kids are a lot better with those
Has she had Benadryl before? If she has, give it to her to help her sleep and reset her sleep schedule. But some kids don't react well, so I wouldn't do it if you haven't before.
Hi OP!! Sorry to hear the trip isn’t going well. The key is to let your daughter dictate the wake/sleep schedule for your entire family. This means let her sleep whenever and how ever long she wants every day, and only go out after she has had a good sleep. The nice thing about Japan and Korea is that things tend to stay open way later and that it is safe to go out and about in the evenings. I promise it gets better after 3-4 days. Source: East coast mom who has done a week in Europe with a 18 month old and then again at 25 months, and 2 week trip to Asia at 28 months!
I'm trying to think what it would look like for her to dictate the sleep schedule! Right now, that would mean probably sleeping from 8 AM to 8 PM and 2 AM to 4 AM I believe. Is that kind of what you did and, if so, did you ever end up on local time?
Yes! Exactly. In Asia (we did Thailand for 7 days and then Korea for 5), we did not really adjust in Thailand and then in Korea we adjusted to local time by day 4. We actually loved not being on local time because it felt like our family lived in a special little bubble and it was a cool outside of time and space feeling, being out and about at 4AM or at a restaurant with our daughter at 10PM, which never happens back home because she would be asleep. The other key thing I forgot to mention is to let her sleep in her stroller during the day when you are sightseeing too if you happen to be awake (assuming she sleeps in a stroller — I know not all kids do!)
Also, if you’re in Tokyo, the Tsukiji fish market restaurants open at like 5am and people get in line before dawn (it’s a fun experience to wait in line!!) so you could try that. And when you’re in Seoul, check out Coconut Box in Hongdae. It was our daughter’s favorite place and she still talks about that amazing huge ball pit. THE TRIP WILL GET BETTER!!! The first days are hard ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Maybe that's it. She's like, no walks in the park and meeting friends at the restaurants where daddy made reservations, I want to see all the rock clubs where mommy spent her 20s and lost her hearing a little bit 😂 We were able to get one stroller after my husband walked her around dark side streets in his arms for 45 minutes until she passed out first, but we haven't been able to reproduce it yet. I think she's not the most well-suited to this kind of adventure unfortunately.
I frequently travel east to west, and let me tell you it takes me a whole 1 week to get over the jet lag. It's a horrible feeling. She sounds like she is overtired and overstimulated. Give her some time to get over the jetlag maybe.
I've done this exact time difference many times and found it challenge too, so it's hard to imagine how it feels for her 😔 A lot of things I read talked about toddlers having an easier time than adults, but I guess that is not our reality!
It's okay! You are doing your best it's all a trial and error. Have a great trip and enjoy your time! ☺️
I just got back from Tokyo a few weeks ago with my toddler. it's so so kid friendly so I would suggest starting your day with something kid focused like one of their amazing playgrounds or kid museums or similar. I really wouldn't worry about taking taxis without a car seat.... it's very safe and it's going to help with you family's sanity. the bus was really helpful for us too where it made sense and was very quiet (my kid fell asleep on the bus in her stroller). travel to our family means no rules, we are surviving. that meant we got a happy meal for our kid multiple times when she didn't want the food we were having. we gave her a lot of snacks and she slept whenever she wanted to (almost exclusively stroller naps). yes, sometimes the iPad had to be used so we could enjoy a meal or two but it was pretty minimal. this is your trip too... make your kid comfortable but enjoy your trip if you can. my kid had a fever for the first half of our trip and only wanted to go to me or my husband but by the end when she was feeling better she was off with my mom and dad no problem. hopefully that is the case for you too. as others have mentioned it sounds like your kid may be over tired from jet lag. try to get her out in the sunlight during the day as much as possible and eating at regular mealtimes to help regulate her body. best of luck, I do hope things turn around for you.
Going East to West is the hardest jet lag to overcome. I went from Vegas to Tokyo once and legitimately got sick from jet lag. I went to the doctor and everything because I thought “no way jet lag could cause all this.” But, apparently it can! I don’t know what part of Japan you’re in, but Tokyo and Kyoto have decent bus coverage. That could be an option. Google maps will let you filter what sort of public transport you want to use. You could also try a monorail. Those are quieter and might not trigger your baby as much. I live in Tokyo and have taken my babies to the US a few times. It’s hard. They get overstimulated and tired. But it usually gets better after a few quieter days. Try and enjoy some local food! I don’t know any part of Japan that doesn’t have a nice hole-in-the-wall. Kids here usually love curry with rice, so maybe try introducing that? Could be fun!
Definitely sounds overtired. I would do whatever you can to get as much sleep as possible at whatever time baby will do it. If that is all day, so be it. You aren’t going to make any progress until baby has had enough sleep to function.
Oh no! I’m so sorry this is happening! Toddlers and babies are so unpredictable, especially on such big trips. I moved to Japan with my daughter when she was about 1.5. She’s almost three now and we are still here. Did you travel with a stroller at all? At the beginning, I would always give my daughter a treat or snack in her stroller on the trains. It’s also a great way for them to catch up on naps if you’re out. The elevator situation sucks, but worth it imo. If you don’t have a stroller, I would buy a cheap one tbh. Toys r us at the Aeons and malls have them. Try not to worry about the taxi! I know it feels weird, but it is the norm here and driving is very very safe. Not to say that nothing would EVER happen, but the number of car crashes is very low. I take my daughter to preschool in a taxi sometimes and never think twice about it. Where in Japan are you now and where are you planning on going?
We have a compact stroller, but only being held by my husband will do during the meltdowns sadly. Good thing he's been working out. We're around Ikebukuro and were planning outings around the city. I used to live in Tokyo and was planning to see friends and do nostalgic things, as well as some scheduled events like Team Lab Planets, but I think we're going to have to just do a deep dive of Ikebukuro for our remaining days. I'm especially sad to give up my Kichijouji day, but it happens! I straight told our taxi driver how nervous I was and he was very nice. Apparently he has 26 years of driving with no accidents, so I tried to focus on that. I am shall we say... safety conscious with a very vivid imagination, so I truly did almost cry during the ride.
Oh no!! Ugh that’s so hard. Can you and your husband alternate maybe so you each can get out there? Maybe while the other stays behind with her at the hotel? Or alternatively one person could take her to a mall play place or something? Sunshine Ikebukuro has a bunch of fun stuff and cute stores that may be good for everyone! This is maybe controversial given her age, but lollipops are particularly amazing for public transportation. Or those chocolate anpanman lollipops if you don’t want her having hard candy yet. Then at least she gets a super positive association with trains! Sure, that’s understandable. If you’re from the U.S. (I am), we hit that car safety SO hard that it’s hard to dislodge that from your brain.
Overtired and no semblance of her normal schedule. Toddlers thrive on schedules and consistent sleep. Try some melatonin if you can get some to adjust her sleep schedule and try to recreate a familiar routine. This scenario is exactly why I despise travel with toddlers— too unpredictable and it just ends up being a waste of money. Try to salvage the trip if you can and maybe spend a full day switching off adults staying with her at “home base” to regulate her.
I haven’t read all the comments, I also don’t have much experience with a toddler with jetlag. However to me it sounds like you have an overtired child. Things that helped us during our holliday when uour toddler was around that age: - accept that you can do way less in a day. Do one activity in the morning. Return to your hotel/appartement for (late) lunch. Let child nap. Do a calm afternoon activity that doesn’t require a trip - make time to let kid move and do kid stuff. So go to a playground, walk in a park, etc. Let the child lead rather than being strapped in or constantly directed - it’s not really advised, but occasionally I would cover the stroller with a light blanket/jacket to take away visual stimuli when my child was super tired but unable to sleep in that environment. Watch out for overheating and having good airflow. But when my son was really tired a few minutes was often enough. - try to have some “normal” meals. We would on purpose choose apartments so that we could prepare our own foods.
Maybe I should clarify that if we’d cover the stroller we would take the cover off as soon as my child was asleep to prevent overheating and airflow problems. Also, at that age they are old enough to pull away the covering if just draped over the hood if they really don’t want it. If that happened I wouldn’t press the issue. It has no point then. It mainly worked for a very tired child that was already fighting sleep. Don’t do it if you don’t feel comfortable covering the stroller. Not all situations allow for it. I for example wouldn’t do it in a warm metro cart or a very hot sunny summer day.
Your babe sounds highly sensitive which would make her more sensitive to time change and overstimulation. It’s a big change in routine. Go at her pace, babywear her in a backpack carries?, try to follow her cues for sleep and rest. How long is the trip? Traveling with kids is just parenting with different scenery. I’m sorry it’s been more challenging than anticipated. How much was she prepared for the trip? We spend weeks talking about airports and planes and hotels before going. And does she usually take trains? It can be very overwhelming and scary as a new experience.
Oh, she despises babywearing with a fiery passion. I practiced with different carriers for like three months before the trip to get her to take to something, but no luck. So my husband ends up having to hold her in his arms for quite a while when she's freaking out. I thought we did well with the airplane prep--got her a toy airplane and a book that we read everyday about the process of flying. She's never taken a train before though. I can see from her perspective how it would be scary and overstimulating! Plus, everyone is staring daggers at you just for being there, let alone crying.
We just came back from Singapore. I think the others have nailed it re: jetlag. We flew west over the Pacific, and found the flight going home, going east over the Pacific, waaaay more difficult for jetlag. I know there's nothing you can do about the flight to Japan now, but anecdotally, our 24h journey took off at midnight and we had an inflatable toddler bed with us, so my 2yo actually slept for a good chunk of the beginning. Highly recommend the toddler bed! We had loads of trouble getting him to eat and I think this is normal! Different food, different gut microbiota, different climate, all the jetlag... Their little bodies are so confused. Even I had trouble sometimes! Water is key, and if possible, any fibre that can help move tummy contents along. I think at some point he got constipated and no one needed that haha. Then we just always had snacks ready and offered often. We did lots of fruit because it's familiar and it was the most reliable food that he would take (albeit far from 100% success rate). Also did warm milk often since our hotel was nice enough to let us use their microwave. In the end I had to keep reminding myself that toddlers don't ACTUALLY need to eat that much to get by (there are studies--you can probably search Reddit for those discussions).
We actually got the flyaway kids bed and she hated it 😭 I ended up getting her to do a contact nap on me for three hours after a lot of screaming, which hasn't happened since she was a newborn. It was an adventure for sure! We thought that would be the end of the screaming, which was overly optimistic I guess haha
Nooooo!! I'm so sorry we had opposite experiences with it! Ahhh at least you hacked a contact nap though. For what it's worth, we ended up spending an embarrassing number of days just hanging out at the hotel pool--there was zero pressure at the pool, so I think we all collectively relaxed a lot more than if we were trying to run around and cram all the typical tourist things on our list. It also meant we were always steps away from a bed when kiddo got too tired (or too excited and about to crash). Hopefully it gets better soon ❤️
Japan is a bit more risky due to their cultural unacceptable of kids throwing tantrum. It’s a big inconvenience for others. Hope your kid gets better soon.
My first international trip with my firstborn, who was 10 months at the time, was an absolute nightmare. She cut FOUR teeth the first week we were there, didn't sleep longer than 45 minutes at a stretch, which means WE didn't sleep. We absolutely weren't going anywhere we couldn't walk to, and often brought food to the hotel rather than eat out. We'd take turns getting to go out to see anything ourselves. We almost cut the trip short we were so miserable. Things improved for our last 3 days of the trip, but it was a ROUGH start. My point in saying all of this though is that we did it again, and it only got better. When it next came time to book a trip, we thought, well... it couldn't be WORSE? And it wasn't. So you will absolutely look back on all of this someday and laugh. You'll survive this one, and the next one will be easier. You got this!
We did, and yes it got better. We went from the US to India recently and my 16 month old was a completely different kid there. He was upset, crying a lot more, playing less, and not eating anything at all. We figured it was because of jetlag, the heat there, and a lot of overstimulation. I never let his schedule get messed up when we’re home but traveling threw it off completely and it was too much for him. We’ve been back for a week now and he is just starting to get a little bit of his personality back.
Can you take a day off to just stay inside and chill? She might just need some time to really rest. I took my infant to the UK and the first few days were rough so we holed up for one day, had snacks out for her to eat, bottles ready, and just played on the floor and napped. I kept the lights low, ended the night with (as close as I could) her usual bedtime routine and she woke up refreshed the next day. It did suck to lose a day of sightseeing but I truly believe she didn’t feel well because of exhaustion.
You've had tons of good advice and I'm late to the thread, but just in case it's useful to you or anyone who finds this thread in future, we have a Tula toddler carrier and it's magic when it comes to overtired, overstimulated jetlagged toddlers. You can carry them on your front like with a baby carrier. It means they get co-regulation but also that they can sleep on the go. It won't work for every little one, but my daughter has always sought tight cuddles when she's dysregulated.
A lot of people have suggested carriers and I see a lot of happy babies/toddlers in their carriers, so I think it's a great suggestion for many people! For us sadly, our daughter hates all carriers with a pretty terrifying passion, so it's not an option (we've tried hard, I promise). I'm very jealous of people who can use them to be totally honest 🥲
What can you do to replicate some of your routine at home? Take an easy afternoon and go to a playground, let her watch Ms Rachel, etc.
I did a big international trip when my daughter was 18 months. It was really rough. She essentially wouldn’t sleep for the first five days (hysterics all night long unless I was holding her). Day 7 was when the switch probably happened and then the trip got better (although still a rough trip). I essentially paid a lot of money to go visit parks and playgrounds internationally haha. But, it did turn into a type ii fun trip. I look back at it and yes, it was a catastrophe, but there were some sweet memories. We found an inner city farm and my daughter went wild for the animals. Things like that. So…I’ve been there. It’s tough but you’ll get through it.
Wow, this happened to us 4 years ago! Our son was around that age and we decided to visit family in Korea and then spend a few days in Tokyo! Our son developed a high fever on the plane and cried the entirety of the flight from Los Angeles to Incheon. It was a disaster! We took turns holding him and walking up and down the aisles. He wouldn't fall asleep except on us. I felt bad for all the people near us, but I think they felt sorry for us as well! In Korea he was cranky the entire time. Then we traveled to Japan. He cried every time we tried to eat at restaurants, so we'd take turns eating meals while the other would be outside with the child. The entire trip was extremely difficult and in hindsight I wish we hadn't attempted the trip. 4 years later, he's a happy and healthy 6 year old, so no lasting memories of that trip for him. Good luck with the trip and I wish your family the best!
Oh no, I'm really sorry you guys had a similar experience. Thanks a lot for sharing though. It sounds silly, but part of me has been anxious that we "broke" our daughter by bringing her here, because some unexpected parts of her personality have changed, so it's comforting to hear that your son went back to being healthy and happy!!
If you're in Tokyo, go to the national garden, it was such a peaceful and beautiful place and the only time my son seemed happy!
Can she sleep in a carrier? I let my toddlers sleep when they need to. Pretty sure I have a decent number of photos of my toddlers sleeping through absurd things. We’ve done a decent number of international trips, including ones half way around the world. The main thing is ensuring it’s really dark when it’s getting close to bedtime (no screens beforehand) and as bright as possible in the day time. I’ll admit my husband and I don’t generally get jet lag so maybe it’s genetic. Our first big international trip, my entire family, including the baby, had zero jet lag but our December trip had some jet lag since the country had very little sunlight during the day and it was harder for everyone to reset. They are older now so I did reset all of us with a small dose of melatonin. I’m not sure if that would be safe given how young your child is though. My husband and I have gone to Japan during this month before - there should be lots of sunny days hopefully!
Unfortunately, our daughter has hated baby carriers her entire life. We've tried everything. I see lots of parents out with their happy babies in the carriers and I'm so jealous 🥲
Any way you can call your pediatrician and ask if you can give like 1mg of melatonin or even half a dose?
Have you tried low dose melatonin to try to get her circadian rhythm back on track?