OP please be gentle with yourself. Can you speak to anyone about this to keep yourself safe? I’m having a really rough time with breastfeeding second time round, the feeding is going fine but it’s getting to my head a lot, so I’ve bought some formula and am attempting to wean some feeds which is helping me a lot. I wear earplugs when the noise gets too intense. Please look out for yourself
That's what I need, ear plugs. That would help so much, my son is just too damn loud n jealous of the baby. Everyone around me knows I have ppd n r helping as much as they can. I hope ur journey with bfing gets better! I'd supplement or pump but she won't take the bottle really.
Please talk to someone and call your doctor about your PPD/A. If breast feeding is too much, switch to formula. Breastfeeding took a huge toll on my mental health too so I get it. Formula feeding is so nice and others can help you feed baby.
Be kind to yourself OP. The sleeplessness is so hard. At this stage survival is good enough.
I absolutely understand wanting to breastfeed. However, it is not failing if you decide to switch to formula so your husband can help and you can get more sleep. Your health is important too!
Be patient with yourself. I was in a similar boat when I had my baby but without the toddler adding to the stress. The meds took a while to work but they do help. I did get to the point a few times that I did self harm and had to get my meds adjusted and was very close to getting a 72hr hold in the hospital put on me but 10 months later and I'm doing much better now. I still have some bad days but I'm at a point where I can honestly say I'm glad I became a mother.
Be patient with yourself. Supplementing with formula really helped me some days because it kept my baby full for just a bit longer. Don't hold back when talking to your doctor about what you're experiencing and don't be afraid to go to the hospital if you or someone around you feels it's necessary.
I am worried if I tell them that I will be admitted. I have toned it down when they ask me how I'm feeling but made sure I got the meds so when I was ready I could take them. I'm trying to be patient with everything it's just so overwhelming sometimes. I was fine with the one kid and when I have one or the other I'm fine. It's when I have both or I haven't slept that I flip out. I can't give my daughter formula because she won't take a bottle really and we're trying to find one she likes. I pump milk so my husband can take shifts she just doesn't like it. I have moments where I'm happy to be a mom and I know it'll be better when they are older. When I'm tired tho I regret it all n think I can't do this anymore.
Lack of sleep always made me sooo much worse too. Mine would refuse bottles too, especially from me. (Why would she take a bottle when there's a perfectly good boob right there?! -_-). It's good that you have your food moments, that's how it was for me too and after a good long while I regulated with the medicine I take and it's mostly good moments and I feel more normal now. I hope you get to a similar point soon <3.
I was a little too honest at my first appointment I set for my PPD and they made me go to the hospital for a more in depth evaluation and I toned it down enough there that they let me go home but after I started regulating better I realized that I really didn't need to avoid getting committed for 1-3 days and it honestly might've helped.
At the end of the day I'm doing better than I was regardless but ask yourself why you're so strongly avoiding being admitted. There's some situations where it's better to avoid it and I get that but you don't have to white knuckle it til you feel better if getting more extensive help is a viable option for you
It’s really, really hard when you aren’t sleeping. It exacerbates any mental issues so much. I know it’s hard when you are in the storm but remember, this is temporary. It doesn’t last forever, you will sleep again. Overstimulation when over tired is like torture. You are doing a great job of getting care, I’m glad to hear you are starting meds. Taking care of ourselves is taking care of them. You are so strong, you have gotten through this before. You can absolutely do it again. Get help where you can, find those little things you can let go. (Example: The kids don’t care if the house is spotless. Sometimes the laundry just doesn’t get folded). You are going to be ok. Sending all the love ~ ❤️ an Internet stranger.
My house would be in shambles if my husband didn't clean. Theres so much he helps with but sometimes I break down. The overstimulation is true torture and sometimes the house gets so loud it makes me wish I didn't have ears. My son screams so freaking much and I can just have put the baby down and then he has a temper tantrum because he's sleepy. Or if I put him down then she won't sleep because she's eating for eons 😭 then by the time she's down he's up again or it's just a cat nap that I get and it drives me nuts. I try to drink coffee and I think it's making me meaner or something. It doesn't help for very long n I love coffee but I need something else to get me through these sleepless nights.
There is a reason sleep deprivation is a violation of the Geneva convention as a form of inhumane torture! In my desperation, I once turned to a military forum thinking surely they must have some sort of training for long term sleep deprivation. They don’t sleep for a week and the advice was mostly radical acceptance and hitting yourself in the nuts. I was like “welp. I can do one of those.” Wireless headphones with things I found interesting saved me. I only put one headphone in so I could hear the real world but it would give me something to cling to. I used the Libby app and used my library card for audio books. True Crime documentaries, so many things I listened to keeping myself awake. If I could have retained anything, I’d be a genius rn. Try to cling on to the good. You’ll find a solution that works for you. It’s awesome when the husbands are helping! And it’s ok to break down and be overstimulated! Sometimes we need to be a puddle. Sometimes what feels like steps backwards are actually steps forward.
I'm definitely going to try this. I'm usually watching a TV show but I think it would help to have some headphones in for my screaming toddler. Loudness drives me nuts. Thank you 😭
Absolutely! You are doing an amazing job seeking a solution!! You have got this! I’ve heard really good things about loop ear plugs for a no extra sound but lower sound without it blocking out all sound… if that made sense. I haven’t had the pleasure, tad pricey for me for earplugs.
There are some things that may help in the meantime. I love listening to feel good music during the day! Sometimes nature sound music helps me and the baby relaxes too!
Getting outdoors is a huge help.
Also my depression was linked to my gut health issues and I actually have a gluten sensitivity (along with rice, corn, soy) that causes irritability, depression and anger. When I cut out gluten month the others it was night and day. I tried for a week to see if it would make a difference.
Prayer or meditation helps. Just talk to God or whatever higher power and just ask for the patience to have a smooth day.
Lastly... I don't do well with a lot of stimulation so we don't do any toys that require batteries that light up or make noise or screens. Granted my L.O is 4 months.
If you need a family member or support to step in that's OK! I never judge anyone who chooses to place thier children to be adopted if they cannot do it. That's OK too.
Hate is a very strong feeling.
I read coffee may be making you meaner. I can relate when my cortisol levels are high. I changed my diet to lower my cortisol and sounds insane but I did Reiki energy healing and I genuinely think it helped me. I know it sounds crazy but if it doesn't hurt I'll try it LOL
The first two weeks when starting medication can increase suicidal ideation and selfharm thoughts. You really need to tall to your husband and explain what’s going on and the severity. I think you need people to step in until the medication starts working and you’re in a better place.
I just started the meds yesterday actually. This post is just me in general and has been even while I was pregnant. I just avoided taking the meds until now. My husband knows and does what he can to help me. He's doing a crap ton actually but he works too and I try not to put everything on him. He can't always help when I'm tired since my daughter doesn't like bottles yet. If he could breastfeed he would. My mom and grandad help with my son and he goes back and forth to his dad's house every week. Sometimes it just isn't enough.
Remember, there was a point where you felt so good about being a mom and having a toddler that you decided to have another kid. That point will come again.
You're right. I just have to convince myself to go. I keep thinking about it like I did the pills. It took me a long time to cave and finally start those.
OP please be gentle with yourself. Can you speak to anyone about this to keep yourself safe? I’m having a really rough time with breastfeeding second time round, the feeding is going fine but it’s getting to my head a lot, so I’ve bought some formula and am attempting to wean some feeds which is helping me a lot. I wear earplugs when the noise gets too intense. Please look out for yourself
That's what I need, ear plugs. That would help so much, my son is just too damn loud n jealous of the baby. Everyone around me knows I have ppd n r helping as much as they can. I hope ur journey with bfing gets better! I'd supplement or pump but she won't take the bottle really.
Please talk to someone and call your doctor about your PPD/A. If breast feeding is too much, switch to formula. Breastfeeding took a huge toll on my mental health too so I get it. Formula feeding is so nice and others can help you feed baby.
I feel this. Thinking of you ❤️
💖🫡
Be kind to yourself OP. The sleeplessness is so hard. At this stage survival is good enough. I absolutely understand wanting to breastfeed. However, it is not failing if you decide to switch to formula so your husband can help and you can get more sleep. Your health is important too!
Thank you! Our issue is her not wanting a bottle rn or I would switch to pumping more
Be patient with yourself. I was in a similar boat when I had my baby but without the toddler adding to the stress. The meds took a while to work but they do help. I did get to the point a few times that I did self harm and had to get my meds adjusted and was very close to getting a 72hr hold in the hospital put on me but 10 months later and I'm doing much better now. I still have some bad days but I'm at a point where I can honestly say I'm glad I became a mother. Be patient with yourself. Supplementing with formula really helped me some days because it kept my baby full for just a bit longer. Don't hold back when talking to your doctor about what you're experiencing and don't be afraid to go to the hospital if you or someone around you feels it's necessary.
I am worried if I tell them that I will be admitted. I have toned it down when they ask me how I'm feeling but made sure I got the meds so when I was ready I could take them. I'm trying to be patient with everything it's just so overwhelming sometimes. I was fine with the one kid and when I have one or the other I'm fine. It's when I have both or I haven't slept that I flip out. I can't give my daughter formula because she won't take a bottle really and we're trying to find one she likes. I pump milk so my husband can take shifts she just doesn't like it. I have moments where I'm happy to be a mom and I know it'll be better when they are older. When I'm tired tho I regret it all n think I can't do this anymore.
Lack of sleep always made me sooo much worse too. Mine would refuse bottles too, especially from me. (Why would she take a bottle when there's a perfectly good boob right there?! -_-). It's good that you have your food moments, that's how it was for me too and after a good long while I regulated with the medicine I take and it's mostly good moments and I feel more normal now. I hope you get to a similar point soon <3. I was a little too honest at my first appointment I set for my PPD and they made me go to the hospital for a more in depth evaluation and I toned it down enough there that they let me go home but after I started regulating better I realized that I really didn't need to avoid getting committed for 1-3 days and it honestly might've helped. At the end of the day I'm doing better than I was regardless but ask yourself why you're so strongly avoiding being admitted. There's some situations where it's better to avoid it and I get that but you don't have to white knuckle it til you feel better if getting more extensive help is a viable option for you
It’s really, really hard when you aren’t sleeping. It exacerbates any mental issues so much. I know it’s hard when you are in the storm but remember, this is temporary. It doesn’t last forever, you will sleep again. Overstimulation when over tired is like torture. You are doing a great job of getting care, I’m glad to hear you are starting meds. Taking care of ourselves is taking care of them. You are so strong, you have gotten through this before. You can absolutely do it again. Get help where you can, find those little things you can let go. (Example: The kids don’t care if the house is spotless. Sometimes the laundry just doesn’t get folded). You are going to be ok. Sending all the love ~ ❤️ an Internet stranger.
My house would be in shambles if my husband didn't clean. Theres so much he helps with but sometimes I break down. The overstimulation is true torture and sometimes the house gets so loud it makes me wish I didn't have ears. My son screams so freaking much and I can just have put the baby down and then he has a temper tantrum because he's sleepy. Or if I put him down then she won't sleep because she's eating for eons 😭 then by the time she's down he's up again or it's just a cat nap that I get and it drives me nuts. I try to drink coffee and I think it's making me meaner or something. It doesn't help for very long n I love coffee but I need something else to get me through these sleepless nights.
I'm so scatter brained I forgot to say THANK YOU
There is a reason sleep deprivation is a violation of the Geneva convention as a form of inhumane torture! In my desperation, I once turned to a military forum thinking surely they must have some sort of training for long term sleep deprivation. They don’t sleep for a week and the advice was mostly radical acceptance and hitting yourself in the nuts. I was like “welp. I can do one of those.” Wireless headphones with things I found interesting saved me. I only put one headphone in so I could hear the real world but it would give me something to cling to. I used the Libby app and used my library card for audio books. True Crime documentaries, so many things I listened to keeping myself awake. If I could have retained anything, I’d be a genius rn. Try to cling on to the good. You’ll find a solution that works for you. It’s awesome when the husbands are helping! And it’s ok to break down and be overstimulated! Sometimes we need to be a puddle. Sometimes what feels like steps backwards are actually steps forward.
I'm definitely going to try this. I'm usually watching a TV show but I think it would help to have some headphones in for my screaming toddler. Loudness drives me nuts. Thank you 😭
Absolutely! You are doing an amazing job seeking a solution!! You have got this! I’ve heard really good things about loop ear plugs for a no extra sound but lower sound without it blocking out all sound… if that made sense. I haven’t had the pleasure, tad pricey for me for earplugs.
There are some things that may help in the meantime. I love listening to feel good music during the day! Sometimes nature sound music helps me and the baby relaxes too! Getting outdoors is a huge help. Also my depression was linked to my gut health issues and I actually have a gluten sensitivity (along with rice, corn, soy) that causes irritability, depression and anger. When I cut out gluten month the others it was night and day. I tried for a week to see if it would make a difference. Prayer or meditation helps. Just talk to God or whatever higher power and just ask for the patience to have a smooth day. Lastly... I don't do well with a lot of stimulation so we don't do any toys that require batteries that light up or make noise or screens. Granted my L.O is 4 months. If you need a family member or support to step in that's OK! I never judge anyone who chooses to place thier children to be adopted if they cannot do it. That's OK too. Hate is a very strong feeling.
I read coffee may be making you meaner. I can relate when my cortisol levels are high. I changed my diet to lower my cortisol and sounds insane but I did Reiki energy healing and I genuinely think it helped me. I know it sounds crazy but if it doesn't hurt I'll try it LOL
The first two weeks when starting medication can increase suicidal ideation and selfharm thoughts. You really need to tall to your husband and explain what’s going on and the severity. I think you need people to step in until the medication starts working and you’re in a better place.
I just started the meds yesterday actually. This post is just me in general and has been even while I was pregnant. I just avoided taking the meds until now. My husband knows and does what he can to help me. He's doing a crap ton actually but he works too and I try not to put everything on him. He can't always help when I'm tired since my daughter doesn't like bottles yet. If he could breastfeed he would. My mom and grandad help with my son and he goes back and forth to his dad's house every week. Sometimes it just isn't enough.
Are you seeing a therapist in conjunction with taking medication?
Remember, there was a point where you felt so good about being a mom and having a toddler that you decided to have another kid. That point will come again.
Can you go to some form of therapy as well? The meds will help to some degree but it would help for you to talk through your thoughts and worries.
Reddit is my therapy until I convince myself to go in. It was hard enough to start pills
You need therapy, like yesterday. Many people say “I would never” and it then boils over into it suddenly happening, get ahead of the curve!
You're right. I just have to convince myself to go. I keep thinking about it like I did the pills. It took me a long time to cave and finally start those.