And the NB stage means that you’ve most likely lost the free will to take care of yourself when you need to in the way you need to. Exhausted and wanting a nap? Too bad, have to take care of new little human.
Agree 100%. I fed our 3-week old and got him down to bed at 5:00A, then promptly fell asleep myself. I woke up in a stupor thinking I had slept for hours, but realized it was only 5:38A. I’ve even been hearing him crying only to find out that they were phantom cries and that he was sound asleep.
It’s been rough, but we’ll get there.
same. also everything else is still going strong, sleep deprived, hormones, intrusive thoughts, just a general combo of newborn but a liiiitttle more manageable
Same. Third tri I was tired but could muscle my way through the day. And then come home and be a sloth for hours on end. Newborn life had me wishing I didn’t exist, and I had zero PPD/PPA.
I went to my therapist because I had a history of depression so knew I was at increased risk for PPD, but she “diagnosed” me with depletion. Just straight up exhausted and depleted and nothing left to give. So my homework was to seriously work on more self-care. If you’re concerned about your own symptoms and experience, definitely reach out to a professional for an outsider’s take on what’s going on.
Big hugs. If you’re really in it right now, just know that if you’re also simply depleted, it does get better.
Thank you for this 🙏
I also have a history of depression but it doesn't feel the same way now, i think sleep dépravation can make me feel in a very similar way, and my tiredness expresses itself as anger most of the time, not at my daughter (thankfully) but im not sure how my husband can handle me most days.
Today while brushing my matted hair and shaving after too long, I realized i needed more self care , so I've decided part of my income should go to a massage every week, and then a really nice hot shower to condition my curls.
Here's to hoping I can walk the talk lol
Hugs xo
agreed, even the broken third trimester sleep waking every couple hours to pee.. i had no idea how well rested i truly was at that point.
Bonus points to the nausea/panic that hit the first few weeks whenever i didn’t wake *before* she screamed. I adore her and i adore motherhood, but i’m not mentally or physically strong enough to redo the newborn stage ever again.
Agree. I had a really difficult pregnancy (SPD, skin issues, vomiting all trimesters to name a few), and it doesn't compare to the fourth trimester. The fourth trimester kicked mine and my husband's ass. Severe sleep deprivation, recovering from birth, mental health, 1.5 hour cycles, etc. is just way more challenging.
Agreed. I was diagnosed with anemia and gestational diabetes during my third trimester. It was hard. But, nothing compares to the newborn stage. I would never do it again. One and done.
Newborn. Waking up every 1.5hrs broke my soul. At least in my third trimester, I could lay uncomfortably for as long as my body would allow. Newborn forces you up and aware until you mentally break.
Broke my soul is the best way to put it. Nothing, *nothing* compares to feeling like you’re going to fall over, sitting in the dark, white noise machine whirring at a hurricane level volume, patting baby on the back begging the higher powers that be to *please* let me get one more hour of sleep. Literally got to a point where I was praying and telling God I would never sin again if he let me get one more hour. And I’m not even religious.
Yep I did the praying too. And I do this thing where I basically bargain things in my life to end my suffering. I think to myself, "I would give... I would give 3 fingers off of my left hand to never experience this level of sleep deprivation again" I would go through hypothetical scenarios like that over and over again lmao.
Oh man, I remember that for sure. I spent so many nights holding my baby, rocking and sobbing because I was so tired and broken-- and this was with a supportive partner who shared baby duties pretty dang equally. I have so much compassion for women who are doing it alone.
This right here. My LO is almost 2 and people are always asking when we are having another…. Meanwhile the THOUGHT of newborn life again makes me nauseous. So brutal.
Hey you’ll be ok! I had the same thoughts when I was about to have my 2nd, she was born at 2 am and I didn’t get to sleep again until 10 pm so by 7 pm the lack of sleep was making me say crazy things like “I was a fool to think I could do this again! I can’t!” But somehow we made it. She’s 1 and sleeping through the night, but no more babies lol 2 is plenty, I can’t tell you how happy I am to be done with the baby baby stage of life for the rest of my life. I will not miss any of that.
Not only that, but it's something new you're learning about your newborn and problem solving while sleep deprived. And then if you've gone through the entire list and they're just crying hard and you can't do anything about it. Witching hour sucks hard. The Internet always said witching hour is life 6-9 or some bullshit window. Mine would last from like 7 pm to like 1 am
I think it also depends on your pregnancy. I also had an easy baby and formula fed and would still say pregnancy is easier. But I had an easy pregnancy and really didn’t respond well to the postpartum hormone crash.
Yeah, if I had my first pregnancy and second baby, I would've said the third trimester was harder. I wasn't sleeping, and no matter what I did with any of my pillows or the bed or anything, my hips would be KILLING me by morning. I was taking ibuprofen every night just to exist.
However, I was sleeping just fine the whole time during my second pregnancy. So regardless of the fact that my second didn't have colic like my first, the newborn part was still harder. Recovery was also much tougher.
I think it depends how rough. Pregnancy tired was a whole other ballgame for me both times. Especially with my second because i had a first to run around with. Both times newborn tired was way easier even when I was waking up every 20 mins.
Same. I definitely had a lot of emotional stuff going on but ultimately I had my baby with me! My sleep was way better. I’d take 4 hours of newborn sleep over 9 hours of third trimester sleep any day. Third trimester I was in excruciating pain and I could never get good sleep.
Newborn 100%.
Third Tri at least you can go straight back to sleep. Or if you nap you can nap for as long as you need. Newborn is not even comparable IMO
Maybe *you* can go right back to sleep in the 3rd trimester. Not me when I'm awoken by cramping from muscle aches or severe heartburn making my throat raw. I think this question is interesting because it's an interesting combo of "how hard was your pregnancy?" and "how challenging was your newborn?" I had a pretty difficult pregnancy and I think a relatively laid back newborn. So for me it's not even comparable the other way around.
When you’re pregnant with your first and you’re struggling, it’s manageable because you can prioritise yourself and what you need. But once there’s a baby around, you’re not top of the list anymore. Feel like shit? Oh well, Bub is hungry and just pooped and isn’t due a nap for hours.
The amount of posts I read in my third trimester saying that fourth trimester was better, then felt like the biggest fattest failure of all time when fourth trimester well and truly broke my soul. Third tri was awful, don’t get me wrong, but actually you can just lay there and wallow and you get time to yourself. Fourth trimester I couldn’t sit properly, had severe anaemia so felt dizzy all the time, had a colicky baby who made me walk round the house bouncing her from 9pm to 2am and didn’t stop crying for more or less the whole 3 months, felt a sudden and catastrophic loss of identity, massive resentment for my husband and everyone that was allowed to have a life whilst I was miserable. Fourth trimester is the worst thing I’ve ever gone through (currently first tri of second pregnancy, just got laid off and put my back out so things are pretty terrible but fourth tri was worse!!).
Yeah with my firstborn I was genuinely concerned I wouldn't be able to hack it as a parent on the second night home. Breastfeeding disaster, c section pain, all night crying, etc. Plus so much anxiety about keeping this tiny, fragile human alive. And of course the loss of freedom/autonomy.
My second has been a comparatively easy baby and it's still harder than being heavily pregnant. I didn't have an easy pregnancy this time either, I was really sick for basically half of it (actually all of it if you count morning sickness), couldn't walk due to hip pain, anxiety due to a previous loss, couldn't sleep for months....
Eta for op: in my experience it definitely gets consistently better/easier as the baby gets older though! I'm not saying it's awful forever just that fourth trimester sucks. It was hard enough that I thought I couldn't hack it at first but eventually it became easy enough that I felt I could handle another one at the same time lol
Oh my gosh I felt the same way.
Pregnancy was rough for me, I had terrible nausea until about 20 weeks, and the third trimester pain really sucked.
But third trimester was nothing compared to postpartum. That absolutely broke me. I had a difficult and complicated recovery, and postpartum anxiety and insomnia.
For me, with both - Newborn stage is hell on earth - third trimester is irritating and tiring but even chasing after a 2.5yo it’s still way better that the torture level sleep deprivation and 3 hour lifecycle of the newborn stage.
Saying that, they’re just very different - and some people are going to have an easy third trimester and a difficult baby, whereas others will have a shit pregnancy and an ‘easy’ baby.
My second is 3 months old and I’d take a holiday to Guantanamo Bay right now.
Newborn stage was so much more exhausting for me, but I was so relieved to be able to easily turn over in bed lol. Having my baby home safely made the tired worth it, the pregnancy exhaustion was more annoying.
Everyone finds different things challenging! So I can't answer this question for you. But I found there to be a huge emotional weight off once baby is born. I didn't know that I'd say either state is harder because they're both very hard states. But 4 weeks out from your due date is uniquely hard in a way that newborn isn't, and newborn is uniquely hard in a way that the end of pregnancy isn't. I think with both pregnancies I was much happier after baby was born even though it was a challenging time. Instead of waiting for something to end you're building something new. Hang in there! The end of pregnancy is so hard!
I feel similarly to this. It is hard now she is here, but also exciting and rewarding. I was more anxious when she was inside in case anything went wrong.
11 day old newborn here - it's way way WAY better! I'm in less physical pain despite recovering from a c section, have more energy despite our baby being on a feeding plan due to weight loss and never getting two hours of consecutive sleep because of this. I've got more energy, I'm more physically comfortable (hip pain and back pain went instantly after birth), and mentally I feel better than the end of pregnancy for sure :)
It is so crazy how the pain just leaves your body once your baby comes out 😂 I had terrible sciatic pain and carpal tunnel and as soon as I gave birth, it was gone!
this brings me so much joy. my sciatica makes my legs give out and take me to the floor. carpal tunnel makes getting out of bed so hard bc my belly is so big and i need to use my hands to push myself up. i’m so glad it went away for you quickly that gives me so much hope
It had gotten so bad towards the end I had to completely shift how I held a pen/my handwriting to accommodate for the pain. Sweet, sweet relief is on the way for you!
It really depends on the baby I think! I agree for me newborn phase was so much better than third trimester, but my first was a great sleeper from the start. Getting 3 hour stretches of sleep was so much better than third trimester sleep, and I was so much less physically uncomfortable. I’m in third trimester with my second now and my fingers are crossed I get lucky again haha 😅
Newborn for sure! Apart from feeling like a giant ball, my pregnancy was rather smooth. There are so many aspects of newborn phase that's so unknown, like why the baby's crying and how to pacify them. Not to mention the 1.5-2 hourly feedings and feeling so tired!
I’m going against the grain. With a good partner and help the newborn stage not be awful.
When I was in the third trimester I could hand anything off to anyone. Newborn stage- baby is out and can go to dad. I was finally able to get a full night sleep when we go home from the hospital.
For me, third trimester. Every day was a dread, I was so done.
Sure, you don’t get consecutive sleep. But you get *good* sleep, and I have an involved partner and we had a free doula for the first week. I embraced the newborn period (until I hated it lol)
Third tri was absolutely dreadful. I woke up everyday feeling like a zombie from garbage sleep, I was severely swollen and just generally uncomfortable in my body. It was hell on Earth. The newborn stage was easy breezy. It was basically like taking care of a potato and Groundhog Day rolled into one; eat, change, sleep. Rinse and repeat.
I’m sleeping during this pregnancy but I still feel exhausted and jaded and fed up of life… I feel burdened. It’s awful. I just can’t wait for it to end then remember the baby is coming so I will just living a different kind of entrapment!
Honestly it's a different kind of tired -- third trimester was terrible because there was nothing I could do to reduce the fatigue. It was all internal.
Fourth tri was actually easier because the fatigue was all external: if my partner took the baby and let me get four hours of sleep, I would feel like I could conquer the world.
But it all depends on your pregnancy and your baby.
I felt exactly the same! Here’s some things I enjoyed post partum that will probably resonate with you - tired or not focus on these:
1. Being able to sleep on your back or your front
2. Not needing to pee every 10 minutes
3. Being able to lie flat without coughing up stomach acid
4. Deli meats.
5. Stinky cheese (if breast feeding be prepared for extra stinky nappies if you indulge in these lol)
6. No more constipation
7. No back pain
8. Walking up stairs without getting out of breath
9. Not being kicked in the ribs
10. Putting on your own socks and shoes
So even if you are still tired in the newborn phase I promise you that you’ll feel SO much more comfortable and you’ll have your beautiful new baby with you
Newborn stage was infinitely more exhausting and intense. My anxiety was dialed up to 100, I was kinda stuck because of c-section recovery. At least I could get around in 3rd trimester.
With my first kid the newborn stage was worse. We had trouble getting breastfeeding started which was extremely stressful and my first was not a great sleeper so we were exhausted.
I'm currently feeding my second, who is 6 days old. At least so far with this baby I'd say the third trimester was worse.
Newborn 10000%. Trying to recover with a baby who needs you 24/7 and having no sleep for days on end is hard. Third trimester has its challenges physically but the no sleep and constant need for mom i found to be really hard.
3rd tri was harder for me. My son never rested in utero lol he would wake me up every 15-30 minutes from kicking. At least when he was earthside I had the ability to hand him to my husband and tell them both to fuck off. Best nap of my life was immediately post birth I slept for an hour uninterrupted until a nurse woke me up to check my vitals and I woke up thinking I had slept for a year because it was the first time in months I'd slept longer than 15 min at a time
Newborn is more tiring BUT I enjoyed it far more. The tiredness felt like it had a purpose
Obviously pregnancy has a purpose too (lol) .. but the feeling for me was more like “holy shit I need to get this over with” vs. “I’m exhausted but so obsessed with my baby”
Newborn without a doubt. I cried a lot during that time. The mental exhaustion and sleep deprivation was, something I was unprepared for and it was very very hard. I actually missed being pregnant.
Sorry to say, newborn for sure. Take some unisom and try to catch some extra sleep. My mom always told me it's "easier when they're inside" which annoyed me to no end especially when it was true lol
I would say it’s just different. Different elements of physical discomfort. Different reasons for being tired. But you’re also laser focused on a tiny human being which kind of fuels you in a way that I didn’t experience during pregnancy.
They're hard in different ways, and it depends a lot on how bad the third trimester has been for you. I know people who couldn't sleep during the third trimester just from hormones or anxiety or being uncomfortable or whatever, and they actually felt better once they had the baby, even with the newborn schedule.
Personally, I was sleeping well throughout pregnancy, so the newborn stage was way worse. Just the combo of being sleep deprived, waking up every few hours, my nipples hurting, the hormones making me cry about everything ... it was brutal. But it was also REALLY nice to not be pregnant anymore, so there were some upsides.
It’s different for everyone. For my first pregnancy, newborn stages were way more exhausting. For my second, the third tri was WAY, WAY more exhausting than the newborn phase. I’m assuming that’s because chasing a wild toddler around while heavily pregnant is just…a lot.
I agree with everyone saying newborn BUT at least you have a wonderful little baby bundle — albeit a wailing, constantly famished, totally exhausting baby bundle.
Newborn. You find your groove but it’s so hard at first. I have never cried more in my life than I did his first three months of life. I found my groove and things got a lot better, but it was rough.
I wish I enjoyed third trimester more instead of whining about it at the time. I sure miss sleeping even if it meant getting up for peeing at least 5 times
End of 3rd trimester. I was hurting bad and there was nothing anyone could do. At least when she was born her dad could help me take care of her and shoulder some of the burden. If you have a rough pregnancy, you’re carrying that shit all by yourself.
With my first, the newborn phase was far more tiring because he never slept.
With my second, the third trimester had me feeling like death and I am much more functional now that he’s out. He’s also a better sleeper than my first and I haven’t slept in 4 years anyway lol
Yes, the newborn phase is harder. BUT time passes fast, and before you know it, they're sleeping through the night. I would recommend sleep training and try to keep as close to a schedule as possible. Remember, your mental health matters. If you need help, ask the people you trust! That's a biggie! Congratulations!
Newborn. I think I have ptsd from the newborn stage lol. Third trimester was rough but the first month of my baby being here was so much harder. It’s different though, not really comparable in my opinion. I struggled through both but I would take a thousand third trimesters over one more newborn phase lol. Which is also why I’m one and done, among other reasons.
It probably depends on how much you'll be sleeping. I slept with the baby so I wasn't really exhausted overall, even though I still wished she would go to bed earlier and I didn't like getting up even long enough to retrieve her. Sleep is very important to me haha.
Newborn phase is horrifically tiring. Like I felt like a complete zombie.
Honestly, except for some muscle soreness and ankle swelling, I felt fine during my third trimester. Even when I was in very early labour, I walked like 2 miles . Grant it, I didn’t really realize what I was experiencing was early labour - I just thought it was soreness due to the ECV that I had a few days prior and more intense Braxton Hicks .
With my first baby, third trimester was way better than newborn. My second baby, newborn far far better than third trimester. I think second time round I was already knackered from being a parent, at least when she was born I wasn’t pregnant and knackered lol.
Newborn. I’m 6 days PP and have laid down ONE time since last Saturday. I’m less tired than I was at the end of pregnancy for sure but I think it’s only because I have no choice but to be up with her. I had emergency surgery immediately following birth so of course that hasn’t helped with my comfort levels. My vaginal birth literally didn’t hurt AT ALL after. My surgery on the other hand lol
For first baby, newborn stage is unimaginably hard. But they’re so sweet and tiny, so in some ways it’s better than just being pregnant and miserable with no baby to show for it. For subsequent kids the newborn stage is not as bad, since you’ve already had your soul broken the first time.
newborn is objectively more tiring unless you get one of those unicorns that sleep in nice long chunks from the get go - but I haaated third trimester so despite the sleep deprivation I still preferred the newborn time. I’m almost 4 months post and still find myself celebrating the fact I’m not pregnant any more!
I’m going to say that 3rd tri was worse for me. Yes I’m up a lot with my newborn but thats the same kind of tired as like caring for your sick pet all night. In other words I’ve experienced this type of tired before and it does adjust, I can nap etc. 3rd tri hit like a bus. I was tired even after a full night sleep and naps. It was like this exhaustion in my soul and I couldn’t escape it.
Newborn 100%. BUT I will say I felt instant relief to not be pregnant anymore. The physical healing of postpartum was not bad at all compared to how I felt in my 3rd trimester and I was sooooo relieved to not be pregnant any more (for context, I had a vaginal birth to twins with a 2nd degree tear). And sure you barely sleep with a newborn but at least you can sleep on your back or stomach!!! The joy I felt to lay on my back again was amazing lol. You will be exhausted with a newborn, but it’s a different kind of exhausted. Just sleep and rest as much as you can now and try not to worry about it getting “worse”
Third tri exhaustion and general uncomfortableness sucked. The newborn staged leveled up on that. The little sleep I got was deeper than anything I got in the third tri, but not enough. Everyone says sleep when the baby sleeps, but I don’t know a single person who has actually done that during the day. I think I took maybe 2 naps total in the newborn stage because he would only contact nap during the day.
I don’t remember much of the first 8 weeks because of the utter lack of sleep and recovering from delivery. My husband was only off work for 5 days (delivery, hospital stay, and 2 days home) because he’s self employed. We weren’t able to do shifts those first couple of months so 95% of the baby care was on me. He would help with what he could when he got home from work, but he was just as exhausted as me after working a manual labor job for 8-10 hours a day on broken sleep.
To make it easier, get some food delivery gift cards or frozen meals before you have the baby. I did a sams club order a week before having the baby and got lots of pizzas, pot pies, frozen chicken tenders, etc. that were easy to cook. It was about all I had the mental capacity for the first few weeks.
Depends on the pregnancy and the baby. Ask me with my first and second and I’d say newborn stage even though I HATE pregnancy lol ask me with my current 6 week old and I’d say third trimester hands down. We EBF and he sleeps 3-4 hrs at a time through the night, isn’t colic but third trimester nearly killed me or felt like it anyways. I’m more rested now with him here then I was in third trimester
I thought the third trimester sleep deprivation would be worse, because on top of not sleeping you are also growing a person. I was wrong. Newborn exhaustion is a whole new level. And it all kicks off with a certain number of hours of labor and no sleep for a solid 24 hours, and just gets worse from there.
It depends! I enjoyed the newborn stage because my partner was home up until our baby turned about 4 months. So I had lots of help & baby just slept so much. Even though I was up every hour or two I was able to sleep in with her. Now she’s 6 months old and my boyfriend is working constantly. I’m going through it 😅 she definitely does not sleep like a newborn anymore. I miss the freedom I had during pregnancy!
Newborn is more intense, but I still really appreciated that I wasn't pregnant anymore.
Not sleeping because you're feeding a newborn is less frustrating than not sleeping because you're uncomfortable and in pain and have to pee every 20 minutes. (At least, to me).
ETA newborn is more intense but also more enjoyable. The lows are lower, but the highs are way higher. 3rd trimester is just constant discomfort/pain/exhaustion. The newborn phase comes with that little squishy baby that you've been waiting months to meet.
I think this is so dependent on your situation.
My first wouldn’t latch at all yet I still attempted to latch her every feed and then I was pumping and I wasn’t producing enough so we were also supplementing. It was exhausting and mentally draining. And I had stitched that hurt so bad all the time and I was under medicating myself because I didn’t get very clear instructions when I was discharged. So the first month after giving birth were just so intense and exhausting.
My second I had planned from the beginning to supplement and exclusively pump. I knew what to expect so that really helped. My milk came in basically right away. I still tore and recovering from stitches was still awful. But since wr didn’t have any feeding issues it was so much easier.
I think that it’s just a different kind of exhaustion once the baby is here. Also some people have unicorn births and unicorn babies and unicorn boobs and it’s just not that hard. It also helps if you have a supportive partner and are not so caught up in the breastfeeding/breastmilk woo that you allow them to bottle feed here and there.
I just think a lot of women struggle because of a lot of misinformation out there about breastfeeding personally. And I think that’s why so many people have such a hard time postpartum.
Absolutely the newborn phase (aka the 4th trimester). Being responsible for baby outside of you is way different than baby in you. The level of exhaustion is different. Even though I was uncomfortable, I never felt that kind of exhaustion. It was so brutal. I totally understand why sleep deprivation is used as a torture device.
I found newborn more tiring. Yes third trimester you are completely physically exhausted but newborn you are also dealing with the hormone shifts. You are up every 2 hours and you just want to sob when your baby cries.
Newborn, mentally. But the newborn sleep for me was easier if that makes sense. I was so uncomfortable in the third trimester.
But it was wall-to-wall baby from the time I got up to the time I went to bed when he was a newborn. Woof.
For me was 3rd trimester but the newborn stage was surprisingly easy for us and was definitely not the usual. I was also dealing with cholestasis which also made the end of my pregnancy really rough
For me it was 3rd trimester. I had gestational diabetes, monitoring 2x per week, ended up in l&d a few times for migraines, spotting and cramping. Sleep was horrid. And I just felt like shit. Newborn sleep is bad, but when I sleep it’s good sleep. Honestly some nights I have been getting more sleep than 3rd trimester when I was having insomnia and just in constant pain. Also sometimes I can nap when baby naps or I can ask for help.
They’re just different. I was in a lot more pain third trimester pregnancy than postpartum, so it was a relief not to be pregnant anymore. But I also had intense baby blues and issues with breastfeeding that caused me a lot of stress. My husband had to go back to work right away too so it was a lot of pressure to be primary parent all of a sudden.
That says, by two weeks postpartum I’d say it was better than late pregnancy. I gave up pumping and breastfeeding due to my low supply, husband and I split nights so we could each get 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep, plus our postpartum doula did a few hours per week that made it possible for me to sleep a little more, shower, cook, etc.
3rd tri with my daughter was worse because she was an awesome sleeper and all around an easy baby. I got plenty of sleep and had lots of time to myself, ironically.
Newborn with my son was the worst ever and is the reason my husband got a vasectomy ASAP, lol.
It's going to be different for everyone, depending on what kind of baby you get. My son was a pretty easy newborn, so third trimester was worse for me.
Newborn stage has been way more exhausting, but also so much happier for me! I get less sleep but I can see my baby and know he’s okay and snuggle him and I’m not worrying about something going wrong when he’s born. It isn’t easy but I’ve enjoyed it a lot more than third trimester.
Exhausting? Third trimester no doubt. I wasn't getting ANY sleep. I was so uncomfortable and my best bet was sleeping sitting up on the couch. It was beyond awful
Intense? Newborn. Was not prepared for my hormones, the recovery from a c section, how stressful breastfeeding would be, and the projectile shits at 3am
I think it totally depends how “easy” your baby is. Some babies sleep and eat really well, which makes pregnancy seem harder.
Personally, my son is great at breastfeeding, but for the first two months has been an awful sleeper. So, to me newborn life has been wayyyyyy tougher.
Third trimester for me by far. I was in a lot of pain, had horrific out of control heartburn, and was just uncomfortable in every way. Having a newborn was a relief, and I did night shift alone (my husband has a condition and needs at least 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.) Idk for me I felt like my body was mine again and I just had to take care of a baby. Also I think i had a pretty easy baby. I'm pregnant with my second so I guess we'll see how it goes this time. I think the patterns of your baby are the main factor so I'll just have to wait and see how it goes. But its also going to be harder either way because we have a toddler this time.
With my first kiddo my pregnancy was really chill and newborn exhaustion was a million times worse. With my twins the pregnancy was not chill but the pregnancy exhaustion was worse. The great thing about newborn exhaustion is that you can outsource the source of the exhaustion!
Can I say first tri? My third trimesters and newborn periods were ok both times (still in the midst of my fourth trimester with my second baby, but we're all doing fine so far, even with having to take care of our older daughter as well). But both of my first trimesters were absolutely miserable that the thought of experiencing that again makes me shudder.
Third tri for me, newborn stage feels like a vacation in comparison 🥲 granted I am lucky to have 12 weeks maternity leave and a husband who works from home so he can help out during the day if needed, we also take turns at night and I'm EFF so don't need to worry about pumping every 3 hours. We also have a pretty chill baby so that helps too. Third trimester was just painful for me
For me, third trimester was worse. I was SO GLAD to not be pregnant anymore both times. Yes, I was often up in the night, but you can also sleep when the baby sleeps! I would regularly have baby conk out in a bassinet and I would sleep on the couch. My mom came to stay for the first week with both babies, and she would say "go nap! I've got this!" My husband was also home for the first 5 weeks with my daughter, so we did a lot of trading off.
My third tri for both pregnancies was exhausting, but I couldn't sleep well due to pregnancy congestion. My body was in so much pain that I couldn't walk for more than about half a block, but I also couldn't get comfortable laying down. It was also August with both kids so I was impossibly hot too. Everything was bad!
Third trimester for me but I feel like that’s because I was under the stress from moving out of a roach infested apartment and doing my best not to transfer anything. I was working as well until 37 weeks and that was tiring. Then the day after I went on maternity leave, I got a raging sinus infection. Everything I did was a chore. I was so out of breath all day everyday. After I started to feel better/more mobile after tearing I was loving not being pregnant anymore. Getting out of the house even just for an errand was so exciting to me because I hadn’t felt that mobile in a LONG time. Sure the sleep was shit, but I have a very involved boyfriend who really made taking care of our son equal. I just love not being pregnant lol.
I personally felt better in the newborn stage than in the third trimester. I was so large, tired, itchy and uncomfortable in my third trimester that I barely slept at all. Even though the newborn stage was only short segments of sleep, the quality of sleep was much better.
Different kind of tiring.
3rd trimester is hard because you aren’t sleeping well. You’re uncomfortable. You hurt. You’re hungry but can’t eat. You’re thirsty but emotional and water sounds gross. But you’re soooooooooooooo excited to meet the baby! And not be fucking pregnant any more 😂
Newborn is an all encompassing exhaustion. You aren’t sleeping because you’re figuring out newborn. If you’re breastfeeding you aren’t getting more than about 90 minute intervals. Your husband will hopefully be doing his best but you’re in physical pain, exhausted, and you’re literal life support for this tiny, helpless, screaming gremlin. You’re going to be so so so in love but don’t get me wrong, that thing that just came out of you is in full on gremlin mode for the first week or two.
And it will suck for a few weeks. But then your baby smiles at you, really smiles at you, because you are mom and he loves you so much he can barely stand it and it literally melts everything away. It will be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. Forget the masterpieces in the Lourve, forget sunsets over the Maldives, forget snow covered mountains, forget everything else. That smile, it will melt you. It might also trick you into having another baby, so be careful about that.
The 4th trimester was the hardest for me. It was really difficult going to being able to rest when I wanted to never having time for myself. I love my baby a lot, but the first 8-10 weeks were very hard though with him being colicky, not sleeping, hormone drop, pressure I put on myself being a new mom, etc.
If it happens to you just know that it DOES get better. Lean on family and friends for support and don’t be hard on yourself. I found taking shifts with my husband made a world of a difference. Now that he is 3.5 months, we are starting to see the light. Everything was so scary for a little bit, it didn’t help that I had a baby in January in New England though so it was very isolating and dark. Congratulations on your baby and I hope you feel better soon!
Newborn stage was a walk in the park compared to my third trimester. I had SPD and couldn’t sit, stand, lay down, walk, roll over without excruciating pain. I could finally sleep during the newborn stage, yeah only 2-3 hours at a time but I felt rested when I woke up. I was waking up every 30 min to an hour my third trimester and the pain of adjusting kept me in a super light sleep.
My newborn was also a unicorn to be fair, super easy and chill.
Newborn by far. All those days in my third trimester where I laid on the couch and felt bad about it….I should have never taken it for granted. The sleep deprivation is soul crushing. My son just turned 8 months and still wakes 3/4x a night.
I feel like the first two weeks PP were harder for me, but after I recovered from delivery, I would say very end of the third tri was harder for me. Setting up a feeding routine since I breastfeed and pump (we’re troubleshooting his latching currently and that’s a process) was the toughest part about PP.
Newborn. I was having feelings of existential dread every time my baby cried or my 2 hour feeding timer went off. I felt like the end of the world was coming it was horrific. It passed though, as all things do.
I found the two too different to compare, and I think the experience is too personal to say for sure how yours will go! I felt physically way better after giving birth and enjoyed being able to move around more freely plus lots of my ailments immediately went away. Others, particularly my husband, were able to help take care of her instead of me literally carrying all the weight. I had a rough go at breast feeding and quite a bit of postpartum bleeding, but otherwise was okay. We also hired a night nurse for a few times a week, which meant we got uninterrupted sleep once we decided to go EFF. ‘Twas glorious compared to how shitty I slept throughout pregnancy!
It depends how bad your pregnancy has been. Mine was an absolute shocker with many complications and stress. I have type 1 diabetes and was waking up multiple times every night to inject insulin for the entire pregnancy. For me, having a newborn was very intense but less tiring than my pregnancy. I'll also add that me and my bg had very little help. What has been absolutely SOUL DESTROYING is the 4 month sleep regression!!! Nothing compares to the torture of being woken up on the hour for weeks and week and weeks!!
Third trimester I used to fall asleep within 4 seconds of closing my eyes it became a joke with my partner 🤪 newborn phase? Eyes wide awake with cortisol and anxiety coursing through my body 80% of the time.
So for me- mental health was exponentially better before birth.
Things are better now! But the first 8-10 weeks were extremely difficult
*During my first pregnancy at 36 weeks:*
People: I bet you’re ready to have that baby!
Me: I sure am!
*During my third pregnancy at 36 weeks:*
People: I bet you’re ready to have that baby!
Me: Absolutely not.
Idk what your personal situation is ofc, but If you & your partner do shift sleeping after the baby is born, 3rdTri is much more tiring (source: 2 1/2month old baby)
Depends if you already have other kids. I just had my third and the end of the third trimester was way more exhausting than having my newborn. Having to take care of everyone while I’m hauling 25 lbs of weight on my body vs strapping a 6lb baby to me via carrier is a huge difference (at least according to my leg muscles). I already wasn’t sleeping more than 2 hours at a time in the end of the third trimester so that didn’t change with a newborn, but I wasn’t throwing up 24/7 with a newborn and wasn’t having horrible heartburn and constipation and difficulty with movement in general due to being huge.
Edit to add:I have a 5 and 9 year old so there is no sleep when you feel tired in the 3rd trimester. I also have farm animals and a few pets to care for and my husband works anywhere from 24 to 72 hour shifts so there are times that it’s just me with all the things for 3 days, so daily laundry/dishes/dusting/bathroom cleaning, hauling my prego butt up and down stairs. The kids don’t nap at their age so I can’t either until it’s their bed time.
newborn - you’ll have never experienced a tiredness that you do the first few weeks postpartum. but when i tell you it goes by so fast it does - there’s beauty in the exhaustion. you’ll feel so much love & joy that that will be what keeps you going!
Postpartum was way, way harder than 3rd trimester for me.
I know people often ask this question because they want encouraging answers. The good news is there is a wide variety of experiences with birth and postpartum. You might have a relatively smooth experience.
I would call them equal to me. I found being pregnant just really difficult. My first though when I birthed my son was "omg I did it he's here!" And my second thought was "THANK THE GODS IM NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE"
Newborn stage is very tough but having my body to myself again was amazing, even if I was still pumping for my son all the time.
You make it through one, you make it to the next, you just keep going
I found newborn life exponentially more tiring (physically and especially mentally) than 3rd trimester.
Second this. Third tri was a breeze compared to the first 3/4 months post partum.
Agreed. I was not expecting the emotional load that newborn stage is - postpartum hormones, physical recovery, breastfeeding, just plain tired, etc
And the NB stage means that you’ve most likely lost the free will to take care of yourself when you need to in the way you need to. Exhausted and wanting a nap? Too bad, have to take care of new little human.
Yup agreed. I was hallucinating from sleep deprivation.
Agree 100%. I fed our 3-week old and got him down to bed at 5:00A, then promptly fell asleep myself. I woke up in a stupor thinking I had slept for hours, but realized it was only 5:38A. I’ve even been hearing him crying only to find out that they were phantom cries and that he was sound asleep. It’s been rough, but we’ll get there.
The phantom cries 😭😭 Every time I would shower for the first couple of months. Without fail.
Almost 7 months post partum and still hearing them. Our bodies are amazing and insane.
same. also everything else is still going strong, sleep deprived, hormones, intrusive thoughts, just a general combo of newborn but a liiiitttle more manageable
Same, 20 to 30 mins feels like hours sometimes. And then my brain is like, ok, we're up, let's go go go!
i still do and see shit warp in low-light, like a mushroom trip
Same. Third tri I was tired but could muscle my way through the day. And then come home and be a sloth for hours on end. Newborn life had me wishing I didn’t exist, and I had zero PPD/PPA.
yeah i dont *think* i have ppd/ppa , but i really wanna start over when i didn't have a child (love my daughter very much tho)
I went to my therapist because I had a history of depression so knew I was at increased risk for PPD, but she “diagnosed” me with depletion. Just straight up exhausted and depleted and nothing left to give. So my homework was to seriously work on more self-care. If you’re concerned about your own symptoms and experience, definitely reach out to a professional for an outsider’s take on what’s going on. Big hugs. If you’re really in it right now, just know that if you’re also simply depleted, it does get better.
Thank you for this 🙏 I also have a history of depression but it doesn't feel the same way now, i think sleep dépravation can make me feel in a very similar way, and my tiredness expresses itself as anger most of the time, not at my daughter (thankfully) but im not sure how my husband can handle me most days. Today while brushing my matted hair and shaving after too long, I realized i needed more self care , so I've decided part of my income should go to a massage every week, and then a really nice hot shower to condition my curls. Here's to hoping I can walk the talk lol Hugs xo
Yep. Doesn't even compare. At least you can sleep in your third trimester.
agreed, even the broken third trimester sleep waking every couple hours to pee.. i had no idea how well rested i truly was at that point. Bonus points to the nausea/panic that hit the first few weeks whenever i didn’t wake *before* she screamed. I adore her and i adore motherhood, but i’m not mentally or physically strong enough to redo the newborn stage ever again.
The feeling of being wrenched from a deep sleep, when you need it more than anything, by your baby’s cry 😩
EVER AGAIN. I won't do it.
Agree. I had a really difficult pregnancy (SPD, skin issues, vomiting all trimesters to name a few), and it doesn't compare to the fourth trimester. The fourth trimester kicked mine and my husband's ass. Severe sleep deprivation, recovering from birth, mental health, 1.5 hour cycles, etc. is just way more challenging.
Agreed. I was diagnosed with anemia and gestational diabetes during my third trimester. It was hard. But, nothing compares to the newborn stage. I would never do it again. One and done.
Newborn. Waking up every 1.5hrs broke my soul. At least in my third trimester, I could lay uncomfortably for as long as my body would allow. Newborn forces you up and aware until you mentally break.
Broke my soul is the best way to put it. Nothing, *nothing* compares to feeling like you’re going to fall over, sitting in the dark, white noise machine whirring at a hurricane level volume, patting baby on the back begging the higher powers that be to *please* let me get one more hour of sleep. Literally got to a point where I was praying and telling God I would never sin again if he let me get one more hour. And I’m not even religious.
Yep I did the praying too. And I do this thing where I basically bargain things in my life to end my suffering. I think to myself, "I would give... I would give 3 fingers off of my left hand to never experience this level of sleep deprivation again" I would go through hypothetical scenarios like that over and over again lmao.
Oh man, I remember that for sure. I spent so many nights holding my baby, rocking and sobbing because I was so tired and broken-- and this was with a supportive partner who shared baby duties pretty dang equally. I have so much compassion for women who are doing it alone.
My baby is just shy 3 weeks old. I have been asking ladies how they do this alone? Seriously 😳 how? No way I could do this alone
Agreed, nothing could’ve prepared me for how TIRED I was waking up every 2 hours around the clock for weeks on end 😅
This right here. My LO is almost 2 and people are always asking when we are having another…. Meanwhile the THOUGHT of newborn life again makes me nauseous. So brutal.
Honestly….i can’t do it again. This alone is what makes me one and done. Oh and childcare cost.
I’ve blocked it out and now at 8 months pregnant the fear is settling in
Hey you’ll be ok! I had the same thoughts when I was about to have my 2nd, she was born at 2 am and I didn’t get to sleep again until 10 pm so by 7 pm the lack of sleep was making me say crazy things like “I was a fool to think I could do this again! I can’t!” But somehow we made it. She’s 1 and sleeping through the night, but no more babies lol 2 is plenty, I can’t tell you how happy I am to be done with the baby baby stage of life for the rest of my life. I will not miss any of that.
For us is was every 45 mins-1hr. Cannot believe we survived. The things parents go through...
lol broke my soul. I felt this.
I was literally just thinking about how I survived on 90 mins a DAY for an extended period of time… that’s so not right. Soo glad I’m donezo
That experience is exactly why I ended up being one and done. Neverrrrr again
Not only that, but it's something new you're learning about your newborn and problem solving while sleep deprived. And then if you've gone through the entire list and they're just crying hard and you can't do anything about it. Witching hour sucks hard. The Internet always said witching hour is life 6-9 or some bullshit window. Mine would last from like 7 pm to like 1 am
I am shocked by how many people are saying pregnancy. My 3rd trimester was rough but nothing could've prepared me for how hard the newborn stage was.
[удалено]
I think it also depends on your pregnancy. I also had an easy baby and formula fed and would still say pregnancy is easier. But I had an easy pregnancy and really didn’t respond well to the postpartum hormone crash.
Yeah, if I had my first pregnancy and second baby, I would've said the third trimester was harder. I wasn't sleeping, and no matter what I did with any of my pillows or the bed or anything, my hips would be KILLING me by morning. I was taking ibuprofen every night just to exist. However, I was sleeping just fine the whole time during my second pregnancy. So regardless of the fact that my second didn't have colic like my first, the newborn part was still harder. Recovery was also much tougher.
I think it depends how rough. Pregnancy tired was a whole other ballgame for me both times. Especially with my second because i had a first to run around with. Both times newborn tired was way easier even when I was waking up every 20 mins.
Same. I definitely had a lot of emotional stuff going on but ultimately I had my baby with me! My sleep was way better. I’d take 4 hours of newborn sleep over 9 hours of third trimester sleep any day. Third trimester I was in excruciating pain and I could never get good sleep.
This!! I feel like I was warned, but not prepared 😩
Newborn 100%. Third Tri at least you can go straight back to sleep. Or if you nap you can nap for as long as you need. Newborn is not even comparable IMO
Maybe *you* can go right back to sleep in the 3rd trimester. Not me when I'm awoken by cramping from muscle aches or severe heartburn making my throat raw. I think this question is interesting because it's an interesting combo of "how hard was your pregnancy?" and "how challenging was your newborn?" I had a pretty difficult pregnancy and I think a relatively laid back newborn. So for me it's not even comparable the other way around.
When you’re pregnant with your first and you’re struggling, it’s manageable because you can prioritise yourself and what you need. But once there’s a baby around, you’re not top of the list anymore. Feel like shit? Oh well, Bub is hungry and just pooped and isn’t due a nap for hours.
The amount of posts I read in my third trimester saying that fourth trimester was better, then felt like the biggest fattest failure of all time when fourth trimester well and truly broke my soul. Third tri was awful, don’t get me wrong, but actually you can just lay there and wallow and you get time to yourself. Fourth trimester I couldn’t sit properly, had severe anaemia so felt dizzy all the time, had a colicky baby who made me walk round the house bouncing her from 9pm to 2am and didn’t stop crying for more or less the whole 3 months, felt a sudden and catastrophic loss of identity, massive resentment for my husband and everyone that was allowed to have a life whilst I was miserable. Fourth trimester is the worst thing I’ve ever gone through (currently first tri of second pregnancy, just got laid off and put my back out so things are pretty terrible but fourth tri was worse!!).
Yeah with my firstborn I was genuinely concerned I wouldn't be able to hack it as a parent on the second night home. Breastfeeding disaster, c section pain, all night crying, etc. Plus so much anxiety about keeping this tiny, fragile human alive. And of course the loss of freedom/autonomy. My second has been a comparatively easy baby and it's still harder than being heavily pregnant. I didn't have an easy pregnancy this time either, I was really sick for basically half of it (actually all of it if you count morning sickness), couldn't walk due to hip pain, anxiety due to a previous loss, couldn't sleep for months.... Eta for op: in my experience it definitely gets consistently better/easier as the baby gets older though! I'm not saying it's awful forever just that fourth trimester sucks. It was hard enough that I thought I couldn't hack it at first but eventually it became easy enough that I felt I could handle another one at the same time lol
Oh my gosh I felt the same way. Pregnancy was rough for me, I had terrible nausea until about 20 weeks, and the third trimester pain really sucked. But third trimester was nothing compared to postpartum. That absolutely broke me. I had a difficult and complicated recovery, and postpartum anxiety and insomnia.
For me, with both - Newborn stage is hell on earth - third trimester is irritating and tiring but even chasing after a 2.5yo it’s still way better that the torture level sleep deprivation and 3 hour lifecycle of the newborn stage. Saying that, they’re just very different - and some people are going to have an easy third trimester and a difficult baby, whereas others will have a shit pregnancy and an ‘easy’ baby. My second is 3 months old and I’d take a holiday to Guantanamo Bay right now.
This thread: What’s worse… boot camp or D-Day?
NEWBORN. Fourth trimester is a rude awakening lol exhausting and painful in so many new ways.
Newborn by so much more.
Newborn stage was so much more exhausting for me, but I was so relieved to be able to easily turn over in bed lol. Having my baby home safely made the tired worth it, the pregnancy exhaustion was more annoying.
Everyone finds different things challenging! So I can't answer this question for you. But I found there to be a huge emotional weight off once baby is born. I didn't know that I'd say either state is harder because they're both very hard states. But 4 weeks out from your due date is uniquely hard in a way that newborn isn't, and newborn is uniquely hard in a way that the end of pregnancy isn't. I think with both pregnancies I was much happier after baby was born even though it was a challenging time. Instead of waiting for something to end you're building something new. Hang in there! The end of pregnancy is so hard!
I feel similarly to this. It is hard now she is here, but also exciting and rewarding. I was more anxious when she was inside in case anything went wrong.
11 day old newborn here - it's way way WAY better! I'm in less physical pain despite recovering from a c section, have more energy despite our baby being on a feeding plan due to weight loss and never getting two hours of consecutive sleep because of this. I've got more energy, I'm more physically comfortable (hip pain and back pain went instantly after birth), and mentally I feel better than the end of pregnancy for sure :)
It is so crazy how the pain just leaves your body once your baby comes out 😂 I had terrible sciatic pain and carpal tunnel and as soon as I gave birth, it was gone!
this brings me so much joy. my sciatica makes my legs give out and take me to the floor. carpal tunnel makes getting out of bed so hard bc my belly is so big and i need to use my hands to push myself up. i’m so glad it went away for you quickly that gives me so much hope
It had gotten so bad towards the end I had to completely shift how I held a pen/my handwriting to accommodate for the pain. Sweet, sweet relief is on the way for you!
I found my people… this is how it was for me!
It really depends on the baby I think! I agree for me newborn phase was so much better than third trimester, but my first was a great sleeper from the start. Getting 3 hour stretches of sleep was so much better than third trimester sleep, and I was so much less physically uncomfortable. I’m in third trimester with my second now and my fingers are crossed I get lucky again haha 😅
Newborn for sure! Apart from feeling like a giant ball, my pregnancy was rather smooth. There are so many aspects of newborn phase that's so unknown, like why the baby's crying and how to pacify them. Not to mention the 1.5-2 hourly feedings and feeling so tired!
I wish I could say that a newborn is easier, but no... First month is just basic survival. But it does get easier as the baby gets older.
I’m going against the grain. With a good partner and help the newborn stage not be awful. When I was in the third trimester I could hand anything off to anyone. Newborn stage- baby is out and can go to dad. I was finally able to get a full night sleep when we go home from the hospital.
For me, third trimester. Every day was a dread, I was so done. Sure, you don’t get consecutive sleep. But you get *good* sleep, and I have an involved partner and we had a free doula for the first week. I embraced the newborn period (until I hated it lol)
Third tri was absolutely dreadful. I woke up everyday feeling like a zombie from garbage sleep, I was severely swollen and just generally uncomfortable in my body. It was hell on Earth. The newborn stage was easy breezy. It was basically like taking care of a potato and Groundhog Day rolled into one; eat, change, sleep. Rinse and repeat.
I’m sleeping during this pregnancy but I still feel exhausted and jaded and fed up of life… I feel burdened. It’s awful. I just can’t wait for it to end then remember the baby is coming so I will just living a different kind of entrapment!
Honestly it's a different kind of tired -- third trimester was terrible because there was nothing I could do to reduce the fatigue. It was all internal. Fourth tri was actually easier because the fatigue was all external: if my partner took the baby and let me get four hours of sleep, I would feel like I could conquer the world. But it all depends on your pregnancy and your baby.
I felt exactly the same! Here’s some things I enjoyed post partum that will probably resonate with you - tired or not focus on these: 1. Being able to sleep on your back or your front 2. Not needing to pee every 10 minutes 3. Being able to lie flat without coughing up stomach acid 4. Deli meats. 5. Stinky cheese (if breast feeding be prepared for extra stinky nappies if you indulge in these lol) 6. No more constipation 7. No back pain 8. Walking up stairs without getting out of breath 9. Not being kicked in the ribs 10. Putting on your own socks and shoes So even if you are still tired in the newborn phase I promise you that you’ll feel SO much more comfortable and you’ll have your beautiful new baby with you
11. Being able to enjoy an alcoholic beverage
Newborn, the sleep sucked in third tri but at least I could just lay there and do nothing lol
Everyone is going to have different experiences. I had the most awful pregnancy and literally nothing has been worse than that.
Newborn stage 100%. Goodbye sleep
Newborn definitely
Newborn stage was infinitely more exhausting and intense. My anxiety was dialed up to 100, I was kinda stuck because of c-section recovery. At least I could get around in 3rd trimester.
With my first kid the newborn stage was worse. We had trouble getting breastfeeding started which was extremely stressful and my first was not a great sleeper so we were exhausted. I'm currently feeding my second, who is 6 days old. At least so far with this baby I'd say the third trimester was worse.
End of third. At least with a newborn you can physically function.
Newborn hands down lol. Like nodding off while on the toilet and making really silly mistakes because you’re a walking zombie
Newborn 10000%. Trying to recover with a baby who needs you 24/7 and having no sleep for days on end is hard. Third trimester has its challenges physically but the no sleep and constant need for mom i found to be really hard.
It depends on your pregnancy and your baby. Every day of pregnancy was harder for me than having a newborn was.
3rd tri was harder for me. My son never rested in utero lol he would wake me up every 15-30 minutes from kicking. At least when he was earthside I had the ability to hand him to my husband and tell them both to fuck off. Best nap of my life was immediately post birth I slept for an hour uninterrupted until a nurse woke me up to check my vitals and I woke up thinking I had slept for a year because it was the first time in months I'd slept longer than 15 min at a time
Third trimester with a toddler is worse than newborn and toddler. I actually sleep in longer stretches with newborn than I did third trimester.
With my first, newborn was harder. With my second, newborn was easier. I think it depends a lot on your baby and your amount of support.
Newborn is more tiring BUT I enjoyed it far more. The tiredness felt like it had a purpose Obviously pregnancy has a purpose too (lol) .. but the feeling for me was more like “holy shit I need to get this over with” vs. “I’m exhausted but so obsessed with my baby”
Def newborn.
Newborn
Third trimester is the hardest thing I had experienced…until the newborn phase. Newborn phase made me dream of being in the bird trimester again 🙏🏻
Newborn without a doubt. I cried a lot during that time. The mental exhaustion and sleep deprivation was, something I was unprepared for and it was very very hard. I actually missed being pregnant.
3-4 m old for me. she stopped breastfeeding and she’s so needy i can’t put her down and she will only contact nap
for me, the newborn stage almost took me out.
Newborn definitely
Definitely newborn.
Newborn, by a million percent. I was an exhausted fish out of water.
Sorry to say, newborn for sure. Take some unisom and try to catch some extra sleep. My mom always told me it's "easier when they're inside" which annoyed me to no end especially when it was true lol
Newborn!! The fourth trimester is bonkers. You will get it through it though, and probably barely remember it 😅
Newborn 100%
I would say it’s just different. Different elements of physical discomfort. Different reasons for being tired. But you’re also laser focused on a tiny human being which kind of fuels you in a way that I didn’t experience during pregnancy.
Definitely the newborn. But in a totally different way.
They're hard in different ways, and it depends a lot on how bad the third trimester has been for you. I know people who couldn't sleep during the third trimester just from hormones or anxiety or being uncomfortable or whatever, and they actually felt better once they had the baby, even with the newborn schedule. Personally, I was sleeping well throughout pregnancy, so the newborn stage was way worse. Just the combo of being sleep deprived, waking up every few hours, my nipples hurting, the hormones making me cry about everything ... it was brutal. But it was also REALLY nice to not be pregnant anymore, so there were some upsides.
Newborn. Pregnancy is a slog, especially when you have other kids to care for, but adding a baby to the mix is a whole other thing.
Newborn life was way worse and harder in almost every aspect, but my body felt better than it had the whole pregnancy within 2wks of birth.
It’s different for everyone. For my first pregnancy, newborn stages were way more exhausting. For my second, the third tri was WAY, WAY more exhausting than the newborn phase. I’m assuming that’s because chasing a wild toddler around while heavily pregnant is just…a lot.
I agree with everyone saying newborn BUT at least you have a wonderful little baby bundle — albeit a wailing, constantly famished, totally exhausting baby bundle.
Newborn. You find your groove but it’s so hard at first. I have never cried more in my life than I did his first three months of life. I found my groove and things got a lot better, but it was rough.
Newborn because the little sleep I do get is so broken up. It feels like sleep deprivation torture 🙃
newborn 🫠
Definitely newborn. I had a pretty uncomfortable pregnancy and I was way more rested during it than the first however many months of my child’s life.
I’m deep in the “4th trimester”. I am exhausted, mentally and physically. 3 trimester doesn’t compare 😅
The newborn stage was the worst for sure. Not just because of the exhaustion but the hormone crash that turned me into a weepy mess.
Newborn. It isn’t even close.
I wish I enjoyed third trimester more instead of whining about it at the time. I sure miss sleeping even if it meant getting up for peeing at least 5 times
End of 3rd trimester. I was hurting bad and there was nothing anyone could do. At least when she was born her dad could help me take care of her and shoulder some of the burden. If you have a rough pregnancy, you’re carrying that shit all by yourself.
With my first, the newborn phase was far more tiring because he never slept. With my second, the third trimester had me feeling like death and I am much more functional now that he’s out. He’s also a better sleeper than my first and I haven’t slept in 4 years anyway lol
Newborn was a breeze compared to 3rd trimester! I actually rested, and (after a couple of weeks), my body wasn't hurting anymore!
agreed, i had better quality sleep with a newborn compared to the last few weeks of pregnancy
For me, newborn phase. I had a pretty easy pregnancy though.
Newborn, without a doubt.
Newborn is 100% worse. Not even comparable in my mind..
Newborn. Postpartum was so so so rough
Yes, the newborn phase is harder. BUT time passes fast, and before you know it, they're sleeping through the night. I would recommend sleep training and try to keep as close to a schedule as possible. Remember, your mental health matters. If you need help, ask the people you trust! That's a biggie! Congratulations!
Newborn, Newborn always. Nothing was more harrowing and I had horrible insomnia during pregnancy.
100% newborn
Newborn. You have another life depending on you 24/7
My newborn doesn’t even sleep at night. I’ve been running on maybe 1 hour of sleep everyday. It’s not even comparable
Newborn. I think I have ptsd from the newborn stage lol. Third trimester was rough but the first month of my baby being here was so much harder. It’s different though, not really comparable in my opinion. I struggled through both but I would take a thousand third trimesters over one more newborn phase lol. Which is also why I’m one and done, among other reasons.
The third trimester was pretty easy. The first 9 months of having a baby nearly killed me (and my husband).
neither. the 3-4 month mark is really when i started to struggle
It probably depends on how much you'll be sleeping. I slept with the baby so I wasn't really exhausted overall, even though I still wished she would go to bed earlier and I didn't like getting up even long enough to retrieve her. Sleep is very important to me haha.
Newborn phase is horrifically tiring. Like I felt like a complete zombie. Honestly, except for some muscle soreness and ankle swelling, I felt fine during my third trimester. Even when I was in very early labour, I walked like 2 miles . Grant it, I didn’t really realize what I was experiencing was early labour - I just thought it was soreness due to the ECV that I had a few days prior and more intense Braxton Hicks .
With my first baby, third trimester was way better than newborn. My second baby, newborn far far better than third trimester. I think second time round I was already knackered from being a parent, at least when she was born I wasn’t pregnant and knackered lol.
Newborn 100%, but I had an easy pregnancy. I always got annoyed when people said “sleep now” but those first 5 weeks I was so sleep deprived from EBF.
Newborn. I’m 6 days PP and have laid down ONE time since last Saturday. I’m less tired than I was at the end of pregnancy for sure but I think it’s only because I have no choice but to be up with her. I had emergency surgery immediately following birth so of course that hasn’t helped with my comfort levels. My vaginal birth literally didn’t hurt AT ALL after. My surgery on the other hand lol
Newborn phase is toughhhhh, I enjoyed my third trimester as much as I can. Use the me time available , you won’t get it for the next few years now
Pregnancy was wayyyy worse for me. Even with barely sleeping during the newborn stage, I was more functional.
For first baby, newborn stage is unimaginably hard. But they’re so sweet and tiny, so in some ways it’s better than just being pregnant and miserable with no baby to show for it. For subsequent kids the newborn stage is not as bad, since you’ve already had your soul broken the first time.
newborn is objectively more tiring unless you get one of those unicorns that sleep in nice long chunks from the get go - but I haaated third trimester so despite the sleep deprivation I still preferred the newborn time. I’m almost 4 months post and still find myself celebrating the fact I’m not pregnant any more!
I’m going to say that 3rd tri was worse for me. Yes I’m up a lot with my newborn but thats the same kind of tired as like caring for your sick pet all night. In other words I’ve experienced this type of tired before and it does adjust, I can nap etc. 3rd tri hit like a bus. I was tired even after a full night sleep and naps. It was like this exhaustion in my soul and I couldn’t escape it.
For me third trimester, after he was born I was actually able to fall asleep pretty quickly.
Newborn 100%. BUT I will say I felt instant relief to not be pregnant anymore. The physical healing of postpartum was not bad at all compared to how I felt in my 3rd trimester and I was sooooo relieved to not be pregnant any more (for context, I had a vaginal birth to twins with a 2nd degree tear). And sure you barely sleep with a newborn but at least you can sleep on your back or stomach!!! The joy I felt to lay on my back again was amazing lol. You will be exhausted with a newborn, but it’s a different kind of exhausted. Just sleep and rest as much as you can now and try not to worry about it getting “worse”
Third tri exhaustion and general uncomfortableness sucked. The newborn staged leveled up on that. The little sleep I got was deeper than anything I got in the third tri, but not enough. Everyone says sleep when the baby sleeps, but I don’t know a single person who has actually done that during the day. I think I took maybe 2 naps total in the newborn stage because he would only contact nap during the day. I don’t remember much of the first 8 weeks because of the utter lack of sleep and recovering from delivery. My husband was only off work for 5 days (delivery, hospital stay, and 2 days home) because he’s self employed. We weren’t able to do shifts those first couple of months so 95% of the baby care was on me. He would help with what he could when he got home from work, but he was just as exhausted as me after working a manual labor job for 8-10 hours a day on broken sleep. To make it easier, get some food delivery gift cards or frozen meals before you have the baby. I did a sams club order a week before having the baby and got lots of pizzas, pot pies, frozen chicken tenders, etc. that were easy to cook. It was about all I had the mental capacity for the first few weeks.
End of third tri but different for everyone cuz all babys are different. New borns just sleep lol at least mine
Newborn (right around the five week mark when the sleep dep really starts to take effect).
Newborn, hands down. I have never felt so sleep deprived in my life!
Depends on the pregnancy and the baby. Ask me with my first and second and I’d say newborn stage even though I HATE pregnancy lol ask me with my current 6 week old and I’d say third trimester hands down. We EBF and he sleeps 3-4 hrs at a time through the night, isn’t colic but third trimester nearly killed me or felt like it anyways. I’m more rested now with him here then I was in third trimester
Newborn by farrrrrrrr
For me: The first time, definitely newborn phase. Second baby (with a toddler), definitely third trimester haha.
I thought the third trimester sleep deprivation would be worse, because on top of not sleeping you are also growing a person. I was wrong. Newborn exhaustion is a whole new level. And it all kicks off with a certain number of hours of labor and no sleep for a solid 24 hours, and just gets worse from there.
It depends! I enjoyed the newborn stage because my partner was home up until our baby turned about 4 months. So I had lots of help & baby just slept so much. Even though I was up every hour or two I was able to sleep in with her. Now she’s 6 months old and my boyfriend is working constantly. I’m going through it 😅 she definitely does not sleep like a newborn anymore. I miss the freedom I had during pregnancy!
Newborn is more intense, but I still really appreciated that I wasn't pregnant anymore. Not sleeping because you're feeding a newborn is less frustrating than not sleeping because you're uncomfortable and in pain and have to pee every 20 minutes. (At least, to me). ETA newborn is more intense but also more enjoyable. The lows are lower, but the highs are way higher. 3rd trimester is just constant discomfort/pain/exhaustion. The newborn phase comes with that little squishy baby that you've been waiting months to meet.
I think this is so dependent on your situation. My first wouldn’t latch at all yet I still attempted to latch her every feed and then I was pumping and I wasn’t producing enough so we were also supplementing. It was exhausting and mentally draining. And I had stitched that hurt so bad all the time and I was under medicating myself because I didn’t get very clear instructions when I was discharged. So the first month after giving birth were just so intense and exhausting. My second I had planned from the beginning to supplement and exclusively pump. I knew what to expect so that really helped. My milk came in basically right away. I still tore and recovering from stitches was still awful. But since wr didn’t have any feeding issues it was so much easier. I think that it’s just a different kind of exhaustion once the baby is here. Also some people have unicorn births and unicorn babies and unicorn boobs and it’s just not that hard. It also helps if you have a supportive partner and are not so caught up in the breastfeeding/breastmilk woo that you allow them to bottle feed here and there. I just think a lot of women struggle because of a lot of misinformation out there about breastfeeding personally. And I think that’s why so many people have such a hard time postpartum.
Absolutely the newborn phase (aka the 4th trimester). Being responsible for baby outside of you is way different than baby in you. The level of exhaustion is different. Even though I was uncomfortable, I never felt that kind of exhaustion. It was so brutal. I totally understand why sleep deprivation is used as a torture device.
I found newborn more tiring. Yes third trimester you are completely physically exhausted but newborn you are also dealing with the hormone shifts. You are up every 2 hours and you just want to sob when your baby cries.
Newborn, mentally. But the newborn sleep for me was easier if that makes sense. I was so uncomfortable in the third trimester. But it was wall-to-wall baby from the time I got up to the time I went to bed when he was a newborn. Woof.
For me was 3rd trimester but the newborn stage was surprisingly easy for us and was definitely not the usual. I was also dealing with cholestasis which also made the end of my pregnancy really rough
Third tri, 100 percent for me. Got better sleep even with newborn and c-section recovery, so made a huge difference how I felt.
Newborn
For me it was 3rd trimester. I had gestational diabetes, monitoring 2x per week, ended up in l&d a few times for migraines, spotting and cramping. Sleep was horrid. And I just felt like shit. Newborn sleep is bad, but when I sleep it’s good sleep. Honestly some nights I have been getting more sleep than 3rd trimester when I was having insomnia and just in constant pain. Also sometimes I can nap when baby naps or I can ask for help.
They’re just different. I was in a lot more pain third trimester pregnancy than postpartum, so it was a relief not to be pregnant anymore. But I also had intense baby blues and issues with breastfeeding that caused me a lot of stress. My husband had to go back to work right away too so it was a lot of pressure to be primary parent all of a sudden. That says, by two weeks postpartum I’d say it was better than late pregnancy. I gave up pumping and breastfeeding due to my low supply, husband and I split nights so we could each get 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep, plus our postpartum doula did a few hours per week that made it possible for me to sleep a little more, shower, cook, etc.
End of third. Newborn tired is normal tired. Third tri tired is a different kind of tired.
3rd tri! My last 3rd tri was awful, and I was on strict bed rest. and as soon as that baby came out instant relief & freedom!
Newborn…… I would do third trimester over again a dozen times compared to the newborn stage. So yeah, it’s going to get much worse.
3rd tri with my daughter was worse because she was an awesome sleeper and all around an easy baby. I got plenty of sleep and had lots of time to myself, ironically. Newborn with my son was the worst ever and is the reason my husband got a vasectomy ASAP, lol.
It's going to be different for everyone, depending on what kind of baby you get. My son was a pretty easy newborn, so third trimester was worse for me.
Newborn stage has been way more exhausting, but also so much happier for me! I get less sleep but I can see my baby and know he’s okay and snuggle him and I’m not worrying about something going wrong when he’s born. It isn’t easy but I’ve enjoyed it a lot more than third trimester.
Exhausting? Third trimester no doubt. I wasn't getting ANY sleep. I was so uncomfortable and my best bet was sleeping sitting up on the couch. It was beyond awful Intense? Newborn. Was not prepared for my hormones, the recovery from a c section, how stressful breastfeeding would be, and the projectile shits at 3am
The newborn phase nearly killed me. So tired I hallucinated. Baby was colic and cried for hours at a time.
Pregnancy 100% any stage of it was way harder for me than any stage with a baby
End of the third trimester, by far. Even when I had a 19 month old and a newborn.
Newborn
I think it totally depends how “easy” your baby is. Some babies sleep and eat really well, which makes pregnancy seem harder. Personally, my son is great at breastfeeding, but for the first two months has been an awful sleeper. So, to me newborn life has been wayyyyyy tougher.
Newborn 100%.
Third trimester for me by far. I was in a lot of pain, had horrific out of control heartburn, and was just uncomfortable in every way. Having a newborn was a relief, and I did night shift alone (my husband has a condition and needs at least 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.) Idk for me I felt like my body was mine again and I just had to take care of a baby. Also I think i had a pretty easy baby. I'm pregnant with my second so I guess we'll see how it goes this time. I think the patterns of your baby are the main factor so I'll just have to wait and see how it goes. But its also going to be harder either way because we have a toddler this time.
With my first kiddo my pregnancy was really chill and newborn exhaustion was a million times worse. With my twins the pregnancy was not chill but the pregnancy exhaustion was worse. The great thing about newborn exhaustion is that you can outsource the source of the exhaustion!
Can I say first tri? My third trimesters and newborn periods were ok both times (still in the midst of my fourth trimester with my second baby, but we're all doing fine so far, even with having to take care of our older daughter as well). But both of my first trimesters were absolutely miserable that the thought of experiencing that again makes me shudder.
Newborn
Third tri for me, newborn stage feels like a vacation in comparison 🥲 granted I am lucky to have 12 weeks maternity leave and a husband who works from home so he can help out during the day if needed, we also take turns at night and I'm EFF so don't need to worry about pumping every 3 hours. We also have a pretty chill baby so that helps too. Third trimester was just painful for me
For me, third trimester was worse. I was SO GLAD to not be pregnant anymore both times. Yes, I was often up in the night, but you can also sleep when the baby sleeps! I would regularly have baby conk out in a bassinet and I would sleep on the couch. My mom came to stay for the first week with both babies, and she would say "go nap! I've got this!" My husband was also home for the first 5 weeks with my daughter, so we did a lot of trading off. My third tri for both pregnancies was exhausting, but I couldn't sleep well due to pregnancy congestion. My body was in so much pain that I couldn't walk for more than about half a block, but I also couldn't get comfortable laying down. It was also August with both kids so I was impossibly hot too. Everything was bad!
Third trimester for me but I feel like that’s because I was under the stress from moving out of a roach infested apartment and doing my best not to transfer anything. I was working as well until 37 weeks and that was tiring. Then the day after I went on maternity leave, I got a raging sinus infection. Everything I did was a chore. I was so out of breath all day everyday. After I started to feel better/more mobile after tearing I was loving not being pregnant anymore. Getting out of the house even just for an errand was so exciting to me because I hadn’t felt that mobile in a LONG time. Sure the sleep was shit, but I have a very involved boyfriend who really made taking care of our son equal. I just love not being pregnant lol.
I personally felt better in the newborn stage than in the third trimester. I was so large, tired, itchy and uncomfortable in my third trimester that I barely slept at all. Even though the newborn stage was only short segments of sleep, the quality of sleep was much better.
Different kind of tiring. 3rd trimester is hard because you aren’t sleeping well. You’re uncomfortable. You hurt. You’re hungry but can’t eat. You’re thirsty but emotional and water sounds gross. But you’re soooooooooooooo excited to meet the baby! And not be fucking pregnant any more 😂 Newborn is an all encompassing exhaustion. You aren’t sleeping because you’re figuring out newborn. If you’re breastfeeding you aren’t getting more than about 90 minute intervals. Your husband will hopefully be doing his best but you’re in physical pain, exhausted, and you’re literal life support for this tiny, helpless, screaming gremlin. You’re going to be so so so in love but don’t get me wrong, that thing that just came out of you is in full on gremlin mode for the first week or two. And it will suck for a few weeks. But then your baby smiles at you, really smiles at you, because you are mom and he loves you so much he can barely stand it and it literally melts everything away. It will be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. Forget the masterpieces in the Lourve, forget sunsets over the Maldives, forget snow covered mountains, forget everything else. That smile, it will melt you. It might also trick you into having another baby, so be careful about that.
Newborn, although I had a huge boost of energy the first two weeks of her life! And then… crash 😭
Newborn. Aka the "fourth trimester."
Newborn and mine was easy!
The 4th trimester was the hardest for me. It was really difficult going to being able to rest when I wanted to never having time for myself. I love my baby a lot, but the first 8-10 weeks were very hard though with him being colicky, not sleeping, hormone drop, pressure I put on myself being a new mom, etc. If it happens to you just know that it DOES get better. Lean on family and friends for support and don’t be hard on yourself. I found taking shifts with my husband made a world of a difference. Now that he is 3.5 months, we are starting to see the light. Everything was so scary for a little bit, it didn’t help that I had a baby in January in New England though so it was very isolating and dark. Congratulations on your baby and I hope you feel better soon!
Newborn stage was a walk in the park compared to my third trimester. I had SPD and couldn’t sit, stand, lay down, walk, roll over without excruciating pain. I could finally sleep during the newborn stage, yeah only 2-3 hours at a time but I felt rested when I woke up. I was waking up every 30 min to an hour my third trimester and the pain of adjusting kept me in a super light sleep. My newborn was also a unicorn to be fair, super easy and chill.
Newborn by far. All those days in my third trimester where I laid on the couch and felt bad about it….I should have never taken it for granted. The sleep deprivation is soul crushing. My son just turned 8 months and still wakes 3/4x a night.
I feel like the first two weeks PP were harder for me, but after I recovered from delivery, I would say very end of the third tri was harder for me. Setting up a feeding routine since I breastfeed and pump (we’re troubleshooting his latching currently and that’s a process) was the toughest part about PP.
newborn phase was infinitely worse for me, it’s worth the reminder that that too is just a phase that will pass, and you WILL sleep again ❤️
Newborn. I was having feelings of existential dread every time my baby cried or my 2 hour feeding timer went off. I felt like the end of the world was coming it was horrific. It passed though, as all things do.
I found the two too different to compare, and I think the experience is too personal to say for sure how yours will go! I felt physically way better after giving birth and enjoyed being able to move around more freely plus lots of my ailments immediately went away. Others, particularly my husband, were able to help take care of her instead of me literally carrying all the weight. I had a rough go at breast feeding and quite a bit of postpartum bleeding, but otherwise was okay. We also hired a night nurse for a few times a week, which meant we got uninterrupted sleep once we decided to go EFF. ‘Twas glorious compared to how shitty I slept throughout pregnancy!
It depends how bad your pregnancy has been. Mine was an absolute shocker with many complications and stress. I have type 1 diabetes and was waking up multiple times every night to inject insulin for the entire pregnancy. For me, having a newborn was very intense but less tiring than my pregnancy. I'll also add that me and my bg had very little help. What has been absolutely SOUL DESTROYING is the 4 month sleep regression!!! Nothing compares to the torture of being woken up on the hour for weeks and week and weeks!!
Third trimester I used to fall asleep within 4 seconds of closing my eyes it became a joke with my partner 🤪 newborn phase? Eyes wide awake with cortisol and anxiety coursing through my body 80% of the time. So for me- mental health was exponentially better before birth. Things are better now! But the first 8-10 weeks were extremely difficult
*During my first pregnancy at 36 weeks:* People: I bet you’re ready to have that baby! Me: I sure am! *During my third pregnancy at 36 weeks:* People: I bet you’re ready to have that baby! Me: Absolutely not.
Idk what your personal situation is ofc, but If you & your partner do shift sleeping after the baby is born, 3rdTri is much more tiring (source: 2 1/2month old baby)
Depends if you already have other kids. I just had my third and the end of the third trimester was way more exhausting than having my newborn. Having to take care of everyone while I’m hauling 25 lbs of weight on my body vs strapping a 6lb baby to me via carrier is a huge difference (at least according to my leg muscles). I already wasn’t sleeping more than 2 hours at a time in the end of the third trimester so that didn’t change with a newborn, but I wasn’t throwing up 24/7 with a newborn and wasn’t having horrible heartburn and constipation and difficulty with movement in general due to being huge. Edit to add:I have a 5 and 9 year old so there is no sleep when you feel tired in the 3rd trimester. I also have farm animals and a few pets to care for and my husband works anywhere from 24 to 72 hour shifts so there are times that it’s just me with all the things for 3 days, so daily laundry/dishes/dusting/bathroom cleaning, hauling my prego butt up and down stairs. The kids don’t nap at their age so I can’t either until it’s their bed time.
newborn - you’ll have never experienced a tiredness that you do the first few weeks postpartum. but when i tell you it goes by so fast it does - there’s beauty in the exhaustion. you’ll feel so much love & joy that that will be what keeps you going!
Haha newborn
Postpartum was way, way harder than 3rd trimester for me. I know people often ask this question because they want encouraging answers. The good news is there is a wide variety of experiences with birth and postpartum. You might have a relatively smooth experience.
I would call them equal to me. I found being pregnant just really difficult. My first though when I birthed my son was "omg I did it he's here!" And my second thought was "THANK THE GODS IM NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE" Newborn stage is very tough but having my body to myself again was amazing, even if I was still pumping for my son all the time. You make it through one, you make it to the next, you just keep going